AIBU to refuse to pay this or accommodate him anymore?

His time his problem

It’s his problem but this contact schedule sounds rubbish for you anyway. When do you get weekend time with your son?

He should get eow - it’s not your fault he “can’t” have him on school nights as he loves to far away (he could if he wanted to though!)

I would stop communicating with him about it now you have stated your position drop it

Also if he fails to collect make sure the school ring HIM first not you or your sister if it goes back to court he will have to explain why after you clearly told him you wouldn't be paying his childcare bill he expected you to be responsible on his time

That would eat up a fair chunk of child maintenance, if you had to cover it. YANBU to insist that he pay.

Agree with PP that it's unfair you never get weekends with your child, unless that works better for you, too.

Oh yet another flake of a father who thinks the maintenence they pay should cover absolutely everything,even when they create the cost ffs 🤦

you’ve made it clear on the app and he knows your stance on it so leave it with him now.

if a problem arises in three weeks and he can’t pick up he either sorts out and pays after school bill or arranges someone to pick up

thry literally expect the mother as ever to deal with their shit as a way of control.
There’s far too many of them out there trying to make life awkward for absolutely nonreason

tell him to sort his own childcare and grow the fuck up
saying that I am Peru menopausal right now so my suggestion might not be ideal op

His time so childcare is his issue. The maintenance he pays is a contribution towards the costs of raising his sons when the father doesn’t have him so as Friday pm is his time this is entirely his issue to solve.

Unfortunately your ex is a twat and you are going to have to call his bluff. Prep your son that daddy is picking him up and has arranged after school car, if he fucks up you have a safety net but you have to risk letting him fail or he will continue to take the piss- otherwise he knows he can get away with it s you will pick up the slack.

I’d also be looking to change the weekends as you’d presumably like to spend some time with your son.

Is there a reason why you haven’t gone via CMS for maintenance? £400 is a joke for someone on £100.k

It’s a shame the school can’t facilitate an arrangement which had worked at your previous school.

I’d go back and ask for a check. Do you have proof of his earnings? Is he self employed?

Anyway don’t back down about this! He needs to pay. The school should be able to set something up

100% stick with it. If you communicate again it’s one more message saying this is your last reminder that I am not collecting ds after school Friday on your parenting time nor have I booked him into after school care, I won’t be booking him in while there’s only one account unless I’ve been paid by you in advance, and before <cut off time for booking him in>, after that I won’t be able to make a booking so you’ll have to collect or make other arrangements. The child maintenance paid to me is not for your costs on your parenting time. Please let me know if you’ve arranged alternate care and I should collect him from somewhere else at 5pm, in case it needs saying this has to be local as I collect after work. Otherwise I will assume you’ve come to some arrangement with the school and collect him as usual at 5pm from the school.

and call the school at 4:30 as he will quite likely collect him and not tell you so you make the trip anyway…

What will happen if your DS is not picked up by ex?

Bearing in mind that you appear to work full time, collect your son at 6pm and have him only on occasional weekends, were SS not concerned by how little quality time you spend with him?
Not a dog as you seem to have been railroaded into an awful contact arrangement, but I can't see how the round trip every weekend benefits either you or your son.

Have you considered telling him that if he’s not prepared to pay for afterschool care then you can no longer afford to have DS this weekend and he will need to collect him on Friday and keep him all weekend?

Also, going forward I would stop all favours. Put in the app that you collecting on a Friday and having DS from 6-7pm was dependent on him paying for the afterschool session. As he is no longer committing to that, you will simply pick up DS from him on Sundays as usual, and childcare post-school on a Friday is now for him to arrange and pay for as it is his time.

You've given an inch, so now he wants to take a mile. Go back to the court order and stick with it to the letter. No extra hours, no extra weekends, just exactly what is on the court order.

Sadly the maintenance is probably right if he has him for 150 nights a year? I think it’s so sad that you get hardly any downtime with your son? No weekends and less than half the holidays? I’d want to change that tbh as it’s so rubbish for you. Your ex gets the best bits and you get the drudgery?!

Difficult because if his school is anything like my DC’s, you won’t be able to book onto future sessions if you’re in arrears so if he doesn’t pay the Friday sessions, you won’t be able to use the club on your days. It’s his contact time though so his responsibility. I think you should inform school of the situation so they’re in the know and don’t think it’s ever you dodging the payment. They may put something in place where if he doesn’t pay, you can’t book Friday’s specifically until he does.