AIBU to think I'm not a terrible person for leaving my terminally ill partner?

‘Another side to this story’ protects him.

I think you need to think ‘do I want to lose my friends? Do I want them to think poorly of me? Am I happy with him manipulating me?’

If so, carry on.

If not, be truthful. No one is saying to lie, but if you are not honest then you can’t be upset when yes, you do lose your friends.

I would say something like "I'm sure his new teenage girlfriend will be happy to step in and take care of him, seeing as he's been supporting her with rent in lieu of contributing to our household finances."

I'm sorry OP. I hope you can get some therapy too work on your stuff esteem.

I am sorry your dad chose not to tell you in person that he has XY condition. I have to assume he has also not told you what I found out about him shortly before his diagnosis, which is the real reason we have split up. This has been a theme throughout our relationship, so while I appreciate the timing is awful, it does mean that he will need to make alternative living arrangements as I am no longer prepared to put up with being treated as a doormat.

Who else is going to tell her? Also why is he not with his children's mother?

His daughter sounds like she does need to know more of the truth than she does.

Perfect 👍🏻

I am begging you to put the record straight, I promise you won't regret it.

i think it may help iif you are honest with others, but in a polite way. Just say “you’re correct I have ended it as I found out about his 7th affair and although bad timing I could not carry it on”.

I would send everyone who messages you those replies. He has done the dirty on you. Sad for his daughter but better she knows what he is like.

Hi OP. I am sorry you are going through this. This man may have NPD or psychopathy. You have every right to leave.

Personally, I would comment on his post something like ‘We are not separating due to your diagnosis, we are unfortunately separating because you have been unfaithful’.

If you get any pushback, send pictures of the proof privately and leave it there- no extra communication required.

Blimey OP! Your mistake was to keep forgiving this idiot, in the first place.
You got no respect from him, jumping from woman to woman and offering marriage to a 19 year old ( what is the age difference? If your OP is middle age or above, this is disgusting on its own!).
Never look back. And explain to those that are nasty to you that he is engaged to a 19 year old, so you are standing aside.
I thought this was going to be about how hard is to remain by the side of a loving, but ill partner. Not about such a poor excuse of a man that just happened to be diagnosed at the same time as found out cheating, again!
Walk away without thinking twice! Dodge that other bullet! He hit you enough times already.

He's clever with his words @Averyverybadperson , he knows if he'd posted that you were a terrible person people would know that wasn't true, so he's praised you to the skies so now everyone thinks he's noble and loving instead of a dyed in the wool cheater.
One thing of which I'm sure, when the 19 yo finds out he's seriously ill with no money for her rent she'll soon stop seeing him and your Ex will try every trick in the book to stay with you- don't let that happen.

I agree. Short and factual.

I have ended our relationship due to knobhead's prolific cheating. I'm sad to learn of his diagnosis. Our relationship was already over and understandably I won't be caring for him. This is the only comment I will make. I cannot allow a false narrative to go without correction.

This. Just give the brief highlights you have here, and suggest he moves in with his 19 year old girlfriend as he's been paying her rent anyway, so shouldn't be homeless. DO NOT sacrifice another 5 years nursing him.

Then they are the perfect audience to hear your truth!

You sound very passive about what he is saying. His message is so manipulative. I could not sit back and put up with that shit.

@Averyverybadperson

I agree with PP's suggestion about finding the biggest gossip in your friendship group (and I'll add, at work) and sorrowfully 'unburdening' yourself to them.

I'd also respond to any private messages from those I know well and whose friendship I'd like to keep. I wouldn't attach proof unless I was asked for it or if their response was to pooh pooh what I told them.

As far as his DD, that's a difficult one. But I'd probably not respond. Chances are all you'd want to say is "there's more to this than you realize" rather than say the truth, "Your dad is a serial cheat. I have pics if you want to see them". Probably better to let that one alone, unless she stirs up people you want to keep in your life. Then I'd tell her the truth. Without pics.

I too would comment and make it clear that he was planning on leaving you and marrying this 19 year old. All you've done after all is left him free to do so.

I'd also get him gone before Christmas.

If others are that bothered by your "abandoning" him they can step up.

I'm sick of people upsetting the person whose always been there and when that person has finally had enough they spin it that you are the bad person.

We get one life op and yours is very important whatever he may think.

A big AMEN! @user1471538283

He can go live with his 19 year old girlfriend, she can look after him. Good enough reason to end the relationship, he doesn't deserve you