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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that this Parents Evening needs an alternative?

111 replies

PyongyangKipperbang · Yesterday 21:24

Yr11 Consultation evening is 4 -6pm, next Tuesday. Got the email this afternoon.

Can be attended virtually, but no email alternative if parents can't attend either way.

I would attend if I could but I work until 5, won't be able to get the day off at this short notice and due to being customer facing I can't agree with my boss to do it from work.

Its GCSE year, its important! I want to go but I can't due to the lack of notice so ..... what now? No information? No suggestions on where to help or any areas DD may need support...nothing?

Its not the times of it running that's the issue, I understand that, but a weeks notice when most parent work and not giving email feedback instead, AIBU to think that thats not on. Especially when the email they sent is full of "It is important to your childs education that you attend etc".

This is the first I have heard of it, it wasnt in the yearly "timetable" there was just a comment about "Consultation evenings will be announced during the year". I just checked!

ETA students are expected to attend too so I can't do it online from the car park, and it depends on when we can get slots too.

OP posts:
noblegiraffe · Yesterday 21:27

PyongyangKipperbang · Yesterday 21:24

Yr11 Consultation evening is 4 -6pm, next Tuesday. Got the email this afternoon.

Can be attended virtually, but no email alternative if parents can't attend either way.

I would attend if I could but I work until 5, won't be able to get the day off at this short notice and due to being customer facing I can't agree with my boss to do it from work.

Its GCSE year, its important! I want to go but I can't due to the lack of notice so ..... what now? No information? No suggestions on where to help or any areas DD may need support...nothing?

Its not the times of it running that's the issue, I understand that, but a weeks notice when most parent work and not giving email feedback instead, AIBU to think that thats not on. Especially when the email they sent is full of "It is important to your childs education that you attend etc".

This is the first I have heard of it, it wasnt in the yearly "timetable" there was just a comment about "Consultation evenings will be announced during the year". I just checked!

ETA students are expected to attend too so I can't do it online from the car park, and it depends on when we can get slots too.

Is it with all subject teachers? That's not a very long evening.

Is there somewhere you could go after work? I've done appointments with parents sat in their car before.

Original poster
PyongyangKipperbang · Yesterday 21:28

noblegiraffe · Yesterday 21:27

Is it with all subject teachers? That's not a very long evening.

Is there somewhere you could go after work? I've done appointments with parents sat in their car before.

Show quote history

Students are expected to be there, so by the time I got home we would half an hour tops, and thats assuming we could get slots in that time frame which is unlikely.

OP posts:
GiveMeOodlesofPoodles · Yesterday 21:29

I agree with you. There is really no good reason for it to be scheduled with such short notice.

Can anyone from the school system enlighten me?

AMarkAMissionABrandAScar · Yesterday 21:29

I'm fairly sure that at my school these things used to run from about 6-8pm. I definitely remember my mum and dad booking the latest slots they could and us all going up to the school after dinner. I know you said it's more the short notice but I actually think it should be shifted an hour later so YANBU.

IndieRocknRoll · Yesterday 21:30

I think attending online from the car park wothoyt DD would be better than nothing. Do you have a partner or family member who could go in person with DD instead?

Original poster
PyongyangKipperbang · Yesterday 21:31

I should add that the slots are all "First come first served" so whenever I have done them before I assume that the full two hours will be needed because it ends up with

4:15 Ms Jones English
4:50 Ms Cartwright Maths
5:20 Mr Jones Biology

You get the idea!

OP posts:
Thingcanonlygetbetter · Yesterday 21:32

That is an absolute joke! The parent teacher meetings are scheduled in our school calendar at the start of the year so I know months in advance so I can plan around that. Particularly for GCSEs, I would be fuming.

Original poster
PyongyangKipperbang · Yesterday 21:32

IndieRocknRoll · Yesterday 21:30

I think attending online from the car park wothoyt DD would be better than nothing. Do you have a partner or family member who could go in person with DD instead?

No.

OP posts:
CurlsLDN · Yesterday 21:33

You and your child don’t need to be In the same place for an online meeting, you can all join seperately from wherever you are. I know that doesn’t help you with work, but at least removes one hurdle

Bobbybobbins · Yesterday 21:33

Yeah that is very short notice. Most people would have to book off work much further in advance so a bit rubbish. Ours are all set out at the start of the year and we run 3.40-6.30. I wouldn’t be very happy at staying hours later though after a full day teaching and my own children to try to see!

Octavia64 · Yesterday 21:34

Ideally these are done with the student but better from the car park than not at all.

in many schools these are just after mocks - have there been recent assessments? Has your dc been on track to pass?

jocktamsonsbairn · Yesterday 21:34

If your dd can’t get to you or school then I would try to do it virtually from an office or your car and if they query it, explain the logistics. The teachers will probably be very understanding as this arrangement will probably have been arranged last minute by someone who was meant to have sorted it but didn’t and is now doing a last minute tick box exercise. If you need to do it without dd, write down anything you need to ask them and say you’ll be following up with emails if there’s anything your yp needs to be involved with. Alternatively ask if your dd can attend in person and you call in and speak to dd and the teachers at the same time. I’m a (primary) teacher and that would work for me.

Lucked · Yesterday 21:35

Can your child travel to your work after school and meet you so you can do it virtually together. Otherwise the school are going to have to suck up him not being there.

Saturdaysfairies · Yesterday 21:36

And schools and teachers complain that parents are diffucult?
Wonder why. Often working parents haven't got a chance.

Blueroses99 · Yesterday 21:38

PyongyangKipperbang · Yesterday 21:28

Students are expected to be there, so by the time I got home we would half an hour tops, and thats assuming we could get slots in that time frame which is unlikely.

Show quote history

Can’t you and your child log on separately to the same meeting? Do you have to be in the same place?

Original poster
PyongyangKipperbang · Yesterday 21:39

Octavia64 · Yesterday 21:34

Ideally these are done with the student but better from the car park than not at all.

in many schools these are just after mocks - have there been recent assessments? Has your dc been on track to pass?

This is the one thing I am happy about, she is predicted 8's and 9's and there have been no issues raised in the past. But I feel I should go anyway.

OP posts:
Brickiscool · Yesterday 21:39

You do it like concert tickets and make sure you are first online to book. And you do it in your car. If you can't get every teacher then you do the ones you can do . I've done one from a street in London before . Just hid behind a church in a quiet ISH corner. And just because children are meant to attend doesn't mean they have to

Original poster
PyongyangKipperbang · Yesterday 21:41

I dont know if this is relevant or not but DD is autistic so some of these suggestions (which I would agree with) are not workable. Either we go/log on together or it doesnt happen.

And again, the slots being available is an issue. Even if I could book the day off there is no guarantee we could speak to every (or any!) teacher.

OP posts:
Original poster
PyongyangKipperbang · Yesterday 21:44

Brickiscool · Yesterday 21:39

You do it like concert tickets and make sure you are first online to book. And you do it in your car. If you can't get every teacher then you do the ones you can do . I've done one from a street in London before . Just hid behind a church in a quiet ISH corner. And just because children are meant to attend doesn't mean they have to

Just looked and the parents who could do it like that, have done just that. We are left with, to continue your metaphor, the seats in the back row with a partial view.

Looks like it ain't happening, which I had accepted but I am pissed off about it.

OP posts:
fashionqueen0123 · Yesterday 21:46

Can she use the computer/her phone to log on at home?
And you log on in the car. Seems like the only way.

Ask your boss if you can finish 1 hour early?

fuckeditupbadly · Yesterday 21:49

Honestly though, if shes working at that level, I'm not sure you'd gain much anyway. She's doing great. I dont disagree its poor from the school but I wouldn't worry too much purely on your own account.

Aftip · Yesterday 21:49

Why should every parent be able to request an email is written about their child by each of their teachers, when they've all been at work for nearly 12 hours that day to accommodate a consultation with you

Original poster
PyongyangKipperbang · Yesterday 21:49

fashionqueen0123 · Yesterday 21:46

Can she use the computer/her phone to log on at home?
And you log on in the car. Seems like the only way.

Ask your boss if you can finish 1 hour early?

no to finishing early, too late notice.

DD is autistic and "the rules" are that we log on or attend together, so we have to follow the rules. She wouldnt agree to do it separately, tried that once before. Not going is better than "breaking" the rules.

OP posts:
SeniorSausage · Yesterday 21:53

Yeah its a bit shit but if she's predicted all 8s and 9s maybe don't sweat it too much. The teachers never have anything of value to tell the parents of a child who is doing well and predicted good grades. I only really go because its expected- not because they ever tell me something I don't already know. Send an email to school asking for a separate call from her teachers in the key subjects that you are perhaps more worried about.

Original poster
PyongyangKipperbang · Yesterday 21:54

Aftip · Yesterday 21:49

Why should every parent be able to request an email is written about their child by each of their teachers, when they've all been at work for nearly 12 hours that day to accommodate a consultation with you

Why should parents be expected to arrange time off at short notice for parents evening?

Teachers want parents to be engaged with their childs education but its not made easy for us! If you dont want to write a short email, make the parents evening at a time when more people can attend.

Pick one, cos you can't have both!

OP posts:
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