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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think that this Parents Evening needs an alternative?

111 replies

PyongyangKipperbang · Yesterday 21:24

Yr11 Consultation evening is 4 -6pm, next Tuesday. Got the email this afternoon.

Can be attended virtually, but no email alternative if parents can't attend either way.

I would attend if I could but I work until 5, won't be able to get the day off at this short notice and due to being customer facing I can't agree with my boss to do it from work.

Its GCSE year, its important! I want to go but I can't due to the lack of notice so ..... what now? No information? No suggestions on where to help or any areas DD may need support...nothing?

Its not the times of it running that's the issue, I understand that, but a weeks notice when most parent work and not giving email feedback instead, AIBU to think that thats not on. Especially when the email they sent is full of "It is important to your childs education that you attend etc".

This is the first I have heard of it, it wasnt in the yearly "timetable" there was just a comment about "Consultation evenings will be announced during the year". I just checked!

ETA students are expected to attend too so I can't do it online from the car park, and it depends on when we can get slots too.

OP posts:
Araminta1004 · Today 09:36

Does the online software they are using allow logins from home and your work/car? Because surely if she is autistic they will make allowances for this. Our school uses SchoolCloud - you get in early and use automatic to book as many consecutive 5 minute slots as possible. For ten subjects that would be 50 minutes in the car.

Scrambledomelette · Today 09:41

Araminta1004 · Today 09:36

Does the online software they are using allow logins from home and your work/car? Because surely if she is autistic they will make allowances for this. Our school uses SchoolCloud - you get in early and use automatic to book as many consecutive 5 minute slots as possible. For ten subjects that would be 50 minutes in the car.

Yes, I'm the same. With school cloud you need to get in early and don't allow them to pick the time slots, use the option to pick you own, otherwise they are scattered all over the place.

CheesesForUsMeeses · Today 10:03

Nearly50omg · Today 01:03

Parents evening happens every year and by gcse age you have had many years of this! It happens around the same time every year so why haven’t you already put this in your diary from last year to warn you it’s happening?

Ours is usually in the 2 weeks following half term, could be any day in that 2 weeks. Would you expect someone to book 2 weeks off work in advance so that they can make sure they’ll be off on the right day?!

Pinkflamingo10 · Today 10:08

Very poor form that there’s no notice for working parents.
I’d phone the school office /email the head teacher to feed this back. See if they can get the teachers to phone you at a different time ?

WhosGotTheKeysToMyBimma · Today 10:14

That's absolutely shit (I work in a school).

It would be SLT who made the decision on dates/late notice. Most of them couldn't organise their way out of a paper bag and it means kids/ parents bear the brunt.

I would email the head of year and give very robust feedback about the short notice. It won't be their fault, but they will feel the same as you and it will give them ammunition to raise it with their line manager (who will be SLT).

Natsku · Today 10:15

Rockyroadminibites · Today 09:29

I presume you are talking primary where a teacher only has 30 children?

Upper school too but only the class teacher. The students meet with their subject teachers themselves during school time to discuss how they are doing that year and presumably will be in contact with parents if there are serious issues.

Malasana · Today 10:33

Aftip · Yesterday 21:49

Why should every parent be able to request an email is written about their child by each of their teachers, when they've all been at work for nearly 12 hours that day to accommodate a consultation with you

Because the school should have told parents about the date far far earlier than this.
Parents who work FT in inflexible roles also have an interest in their child’s education.

Rockyroadminibites · Today 10:43

Natsku · Today 10:15

Upper school too but only the class teacher. The students meet with their subject teachers themselves during school time to discuss how they are doing that year and presumably will be in contact with parents if there are serious issues.

That rather misses the whole point of parents evening; for parents to meet with the subject teachers themselves rather than rely on their child’s report of how they are doing. Children do not always give an accurate report - either because they do not know themselves or because they are lying.

Is a child on track to get a B at GCSE having serious issues? What if a bit of extra support at home could change that to an A*?

Natsku · Today 10:55

Rockyroadminibites · Today 10:43

That rather misses the whole point of parents evening; for parents to meet with the subject teachers themselves rather than rely on their child’s report of how they are doing. Children do not always give an accurate report - either because they do not know themselves or because they are lying.

Is a child on track to get a B at GCSE having serious issues? What if a bit of extra support at home could change that to an A*?

Parents know here how their child is doing throughout the year because all unit test/exam results are on the school app so we can immediately see if they are struggling when it happens, plus the Christmas report card. And in upper school students are expected to take more responsibility for their own education, which is why they discuss themselves with their teachers. Any serious issues like being on track to fail would call for a meeting anyway, no need to wait until parents evening.

CheesesForUsMeeses · Today 11:40

Natsku · Today 10:55

Parents know here how their child is doing throughout the year because all unit test/exam results are on the school app so we can immediately see if they are struggling when it happens, plus the Christmas report card. And in upper school students are expected to take more responsibility for their own education, which is why they discuss themselves with their teachers. Any serious issues like being on track to fail would call for a meeting anyway, no need to wait until parents evening.

We have all test/exam/assessed essay results on an app, plus two short reports a year and one full report. We still have a full parents evening with every subject teacher, which is well attended so I assume people find it useful. Any actual issues are communicated outside of parents evening; they are more for parents to be able to ask any questions around how we can support our children etc.

Goldenbear · Today 11:46

The short notice is bad but I am shocked to hear you state this is for secondary and GCSE years as that's a really early finish time, ours used to go on until 8pm. The teachers and pupils would come in later the next morning.

Goodmorningeveryone26 · Today 11:49

noblegiraffe · Yesterday 21:27

Is it with all subject teachers? That's not a very long evening.

Is there somewhere you could go after work? I've done appointments with parents sat in their car before.

why are you quoting the OP?? It’s right above your post. Everyone knows what you’re replying to. Can you imagine if every single person commenting quoted the OP itself?

MaeshoweDragon · Today 12:08

Unpopular opinion... but have you any issues?
Are the issues the same with every subject?
Is there a chosen career path?

DDs now 24 and 25 had no issues all the way through school, 7+ for every subject, behaviour decent, so we chose a few subjects if the timing was convenient - didnt go at all to 2 evenings as timings were impossible with work- one was wanting a STEM career, so sciences and Maths. Other, arts and English.

Kids liked being told they were model students for a couple of years, but by Y9 they were fed up and didn't want to go, just to be told, "doing well, wish I had a class full like them, needs to put their hand up more, thank you and goodbye..."

You are allowed to not go if it is difficult. (And in your position, would email the head to ask that they give more notice).

Goldenbear · Today 12:09

Rockyroadminibites · Today 07:35

We get reports too but they have been universally rubbish all the way through - a grade for effort and attainment then a brief blurb about the topic the class has worked on/will work on. No way to feedback any specific concerns to the teacher or ask about the attainment score

Yes, we have those and I agree, completely rubbish, pupil performance data is an abstraction, PE are crucial to understand the human in the classroom and subtle observations by the teacher that a parent can support them on.

Sartre · Today 12:12

I have done parents evening in a car park and on the train before, they don’t really care! You also don’t have to meet with every single teacher, just select core subjects.

Rockyroadminibites · Today 12:22

Natsku · Today 10:55

Parents know here how their child is doing throughout the year because all unit test/exam results are on the school app so we can immediately see if they are struggling when it happens, plus the Christmas report card. And in upper school students are expected to take more responsibility for their own education, which is why they discuss themselves with their teachers. Any serious issues like being on track to fail would call for a meeting anyway, no need to wait until parents evening.

Should a parent worry if their child get a 7? What about a 3? Results mean nothing without context. I have DC for whom a 7 would have been a cause for concern, and another for whom a 3 would have been a cause for celebration.

Rockyroadminibites · Today 12:29

Goldenbear · Today 12:09

Yes, we have those and I agree, completely rubbish, pupil performance data is an abstraction, PE are crucial to understand the human in the classroom and subtle observations by the teacher that a parent can support them on.

Teachers are very careful about what goes in report cards because they are in writing and get seen by their line managers. They are often more truthful in parents evenings and then you can ask meaningful questions about support.

I wonder if some pp don’t see the value of parents evenings because their dc has done well in school so cannot understand why they may be important to others.

Natsku · Today 13:55

CheesesForUsMeeses · Today 11:40

We have all test/exam/assessed essay results on an app, plus two short reports a year and one full report. We still have a full parents evening with every subject teacher, which is well attended so I assume people find it useful. Any actual issues are communicated outside of parents evening; they are more for parents to be able to ask any questions around how we can support our children etc.

Sounds really good, lots of information for parents to know how their children are doing. If they had a parents evening with subject teachers here I'd go because it would be useful and informative but I don't find it necessary as there's so much communication from the school already and if I was worried I know I could message the relevant teacher on the school app.

Natsku · Today 14:04

Rockyroadminibites · Today 12:22

Should a parent worry if their child get a 7? What about a 3? Results mean nothing without context. I have DC for whom a 7 would have been a cause for concern, and another for whom a 3 would have been a cause for celebration.

Presumably parents know their own children so they can judge from test results if their child is doing as they should or not. For instance on one occasion DD did badly, for her, on a science test, I saw the grade and knew she could do better and talked to her about studying and her grades improved. On another occasion she got a really bad grade on a physics test, again I saw it on the app and was concerned but DD got to the bottom of it and found it was teacher error which her teacher corrected. Finding out about those at parents evening would have been a bit too late really.

Rockyroadminibites · Today 15:19

Natsku · Today 14:04

Presumably parents know their own children so they can judge from test results if their child is doing as they should or not. For instance on one occasion DD did badly, for her, on a science test, I saw the grade and knew she could do better and talked to her about studying and her grades improved. On another occasion she got a really bad grade on a physics test, again I saw it on the app and was concerned but DD got to the bottom of it and found it was teacher error which her teacher corrected. Finding out about those at parents evening would have been a bit too late really.

So says someone whose child has done ok, whose child is engaged and communicates well, and who is themselves capable of understanding and interpreting the test results and supporting their child…

PyongyangKipperbang · Today 15:27

Had a chat with DD and been through her results, we are both ok with not attending. I have emailed about the lack of notice, no reply as yet.

OP posts:
Cyclingmummy1 · Today 15:38

AMarkAMissionABrandAScar · Yesterday 21:29

I'm fairly sure that at my school these things used to run from about 6-8pm. I definitely remember my mum and dad booking the latest slots they could and us all going up to the school after dinner. I know you said it's more the short notice but I actually think it should be shifted an hour later so YANBU.

Because it's totally reasonable to expect staff to work until 7 or 8pm?

BananaPeels · Today 15:41

That is strange. My kids it is always fun from 4.30 until 8.30. When I last did it I had all my appointments in the 6.45 to 7.45 period. All remote as well. Your school seems very odd having such a narrow timescale during working hours.

Natsku · Today 15:42

Rockyroadminibites · Today 15:19

So says someone whose child has done ok, whose child is engaged and communicates well, and who is themselves capable of understanding and interpreting the test results and supporting their child…

And if my child didn't do well I'd be able to see those results and contact the teacher and wouldn't need to wait until parents evening to find this out. If a parent isn't capable of understanding test results (no interpretation needed, the results are clear number grades, or x out of y) then are they going to be capable of supporting their child after parents evening either?

BananaPeels · Today 15:42

Cyclingmummy1 · Today 15:38

Because it's totally reasonable to expect staff to work until 7 or 8pm?

yes. It only happens a few nights a year. It is part of the job. As part of my job I sometimes have to do evening events.

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