New driver, stressful incident

Just because she's in s hurry should not mean you are too.

Not actually the crime of the century I bet there are not many drivers who at one time or another have given off similar signals I am pretty calm but the odd driver has received the odd rude signal or word ...actually prefer mouthing *anker but everybody to their own

You said OP did ‘absolutely nothing wrong’, yet you are incorrect regardless of whether it is ‘the crime of the century’. I don’t think stable adults should go around making offensive gestures to each other regardless of prior acts.

If someone is tailgaiting you, slow down/pull over. Do not let them pressure you to go faster,

There absolutely is something wrong with driving down a 60mph road at 30mph!!!
Doing half the speed down a dual carriageway is ridiculous and a real safety issue. If a driver is not confident enough to be doing those speeds, they shouldn't be on the road.

Yes, we've probably nearly all had a twat on our bumper at one time or another, especially down a country lane, but only ever occasionally.
The OP says this happens to her all the time, not just on dark country roads. This suggests the issue is with her driving at an unrealistic speed.

Go on an advanced driver course, OP, it will help.

I slow down if someone tailgates me.

Again highly dangerous and sometimes a question on driving tests, which you'd get wrong.

It isn't in the least bit highly dangerous, and in fact prevents me getting flustered by them. I just ease off the accelerator gently, so I will do say 25-27 instead of 30, widening up the space in front of me to allow them to overtake if they so wish.

Incredibly dangerous. You shouldn’t be driving.

I don’t think that everyone that tailgates is doing it to be an arse. Some people are just poor drivers who if they’re going at a faster speed will only slow down when someone is directly in front of them and they’re just not thinking.

Your driving sounds fine and it is normal not to drive 60mph on a county NSL road, especially when you’re unfamiliar with it.

it’s also fine to slowly ease off the accelerator if you’re feeling under pressure, of course not brake sharply but it’s safer to be going slower if you feel someone is dangerously driving near to you.

Rubbish.
if someone is tailgating, the only method you have to make their inadequate stopping distance less potentially catastrophic is to slow down until you can safely pull over.
Obviously you don’t slam on your brakes but driving at a speed appropriate to conditions surely means you’ve got to consider not only whether you can stop if there’s a hazard round the next corner but whether they can too.
It’s tailgating which is incredibly dangerous - whether it’s due to the driver being an arse or a poor driver (though of course, someone who does this to be an arse is a poor driver) and it’s them who shouldn’t be driving.

She said clearly that she’s driving at the right speed in 20 and 30 mph zones yet still getting tailgated. It’s really very common.

Are you generally very anxious? If you feel you're be in nh tailgated constantly is it possible you're just overreacting to cars being too close to you?

Also what makes you think your satnav has more accurate speed than your car, it's definitely your car you should go by, I suspect you're driving slower than you think.

I think you maybe need some refresher lessons, not the OP.

Dual carriageway standard limit is 70mph, not 60.

Many 60mph roads are country lanes where it's dangerous doing 60. Someone completely rolled their car on one near me a couple of years ago, no collision, just tried a bend too fast. I've seen plenty of cars in ditches, hedges and once surprisingly high up in a tree due to driving too fast on these roads. And there's the horses, cyclists, pedestrians, tractors that could be just around that bend...

Firstly, highly doubtful you’ll get into trouble, so don’t worry on that front.

Interesting re your reasons for not having P plates on your car. Personally, I like to see them, is a very visual indicator that it’s someone “new” on the road, same as giving space and patience to an L plate driver.

With regards to flipping the bird, I’d veer towards don’t do that - yes, I know, it’s bloody tempting!

I’ve had two nuggets of advice that have stuck over the decades. The first was from my nan - mainly aimed at when pulling out from a junction - if in doubt, do nowt. That’s stuck with me - if I’m not 100% certain it’s safe, then I’ll wait a few seconds more. And I say this as a confident driver.

The other advice was, don’t worry about the person behind you. Your main focus is on what’s happening in front of you. You are not responsible for the reactions of the person behind you. Pretty much the only time that changes is when you see blue lights in your rear view mirror, then you need to start acting accordingly. The majority of the time, you are not responsible for your tailgater - it’s their responsibility not to drive into the back of your car.

Keep driving and building up your confidence. It seems like you’re trying to adhere to the speed limits. As many on MN say, it’s a limit not a target. Which is all well and good, but it can be annoying on an easy 60 limit road and the person in front is doing 35. The temptation for flipping the bird is strong 😂

TLDR: focus on what’s in front, don’t worry re who is behind you unless you see blue lights/hear sirens. The person behind has the responsibility of not colliding with you.

You shouldn't be tailgating people. That's incredibly dangerous and you shouldn't be driving.

I don’t tailgate people, I also don’t get tailgated because I drive at the speed limit

Surely, you are not saying that the OP should take an advanced driving test in order to accommodate drivers who,

"know the roads well and expect to do 30 in 20 zones?"

Is it a thing now that we must accommodate those who want to ignore the law and do what suits them? Can we all set our own limit?

Will that also apply if I want to 100mph on a motorway that I know well and find it "painful" if others go just below the speed limit. If not, why not?

Will the police accept this as a reason if I go over the speed limit?

Obviously that is not what @Plmnki is saying.
However, this is the real world. Driving excessively slowly can be just as dangerous as massive speeding.
For example, stuck behind a driver at 16 mph can increase the risk of dangerous overtaking, aggression, stress, lack of focus etc.

I presume from your comment you have never ever exceeded the speed limit then? And presumably never would. Even in an emergency you'd be happy pootling along behind the OP at 16mph!

If the OP is getting tailgated all the time, it suggests she is not going an appropriate speed for the environment
Or are you suggesting that it's just her bad luck to constantly be in front of racing demons?

If someone drives up your arse, your best course is to try and ignore them, and pull over at the next safest point to let the wanker go past.

You gain nothing by going faster or slower apart from getting stressed

You may disagree but those were the exact words she said: that is why I put them in bold.

Put a different interpretation on them by all means but that is what she said and I shall put repost her 20.47 post so that you can read it,

Here it is @ForRedPoet

Just brake a few times, they tend to back off!

Yes! As much as I hate being tailgated by actual aggressive drivers, doing significantly under the speed limit is not safe.

And it also annoys and inconveniences normal drivers, not just the unhinged ones.

If you’re doing 30 on a 60 (unless it’s an actual country road) that’s terrible. You’d fail a driving test for undue progress.

I don't believe a word of this.

Perhaps you could try driving appropriately for the conditions like you're supposed to. That's if you even have a driving licence, which I highly doubt now given your responses.