I have a 10yo DS and a toddler DD. I did all bedtimes with DS until DD was born, then DH took over bedtimes with DD.
Because of DS is ND he needs someone to stay with him until he falls asleep. DH, who also has a tiring job and long commute, ends up falling asleep with him, wakes up at 2am and struggles to get back to sleep for the rest of the night. He’s then even more tired the following night and the cycle repeats itself.
DD’s bedtime is earlier than DS and as soon as she’s asleep I help tidy, usher DS to bed, teeth etc. But if DD wakes prematurely I have to go and settle her again. She wakes multiple times through the night so I never get a full nights sleep.
Right now DD is asleep. I’ve told DH to get an early night (hoping to break the cycle) and I’ll stay with DS (as long as I can) and will go back to my bed when he’s asleep. If DD did wake while I was with DS I could try to leave him to sleep on his own but what usually happens is being alone keeps him up, he eventually becomes unsettled and I have to leave DD to wake up DH and tell him to stay with DS.
I don’t know how DH can get out of this cycle so he can get DS to bed and get a decent night himself. Even when he’s had enough rest he still falls asleep with DS. Because of his long commute I’d rather he get a good nights rest and not increase his risk of a car accident. But it’s challenging for me to do both bedtimes, and my own sleep is short and broken too. I’m a SAHM for now but DD is challenging during the day and I can’t nap much with her if at all.
We could change things up so DH has a comfortable bed with DS but it would mean rejigging several rooms and moving both kids so there’s enough space in one room for two beds which would take awhile. DH has also tried to wean DS off needing someone to stay with him but he’s very resistant.
Any advice? We’re all so tired!