Drink & visiting

I’d love to know where you draw the line as well @TheBlurMentor

Is it just for family, or if dh has booked a tradesperson, do you not offer them a drink because you didn’t book them?

You need to explain this. Do you mean that no one who visits gets offered a drink. Or do you mean you’ll make drinks for your family but not his and vice versa?
If the latter, are there any occasions when you and you MIL are in the house without your husband / husband and your mum / dad etc are there without you. In that instance, would no one be offered a drink?
Do you offer friends that visit a drink / water / tea etc?

Absolutely! I’ve honestly never heard anything so crazy.

Do you dislike each others families @TheBlurMentor ?

I just cannot see why on earth you would do this! Truly bizarre.

Just the woman, what about the man, who is her son?

That’s extremely rude of her. Is your son around?
I’m not very confrontational usually but even I would say can I make myself a cuppa in this situation, or just get on and do it if no response.
Also take yourself a lunchbox and get that out when they eat, even join them at the table, may shame them in to realising they’re being rude

Do you struggle socially?

so the first time someone visits your home you expect them to go into your kitchen an made themselves a drink.

That is incredibly odd. Do you have children and do they struggle with their social skills?

How incredibly rude!

tea or coffee and a biscuit as you walk in the door and you sit and eat with everyone

id be saying “no I won’t be visiting as you clearly don’t want me “ because that’s exactly the message I am getting

@TheBlurMentor

so incredibly inhospitable and rigid of you both.

@Uniqueusername3

not everyone goes around clutching a Stanley cup everywhere they go. Most adults will drink from a glass rather than a bottle especially at home, Offer your guests water, ffs.

This is as mental as the OP

Don’t ask next time!Tell them you’ll be round before dinner and would like to eat with them. If they say ok, problem solved. If they say no at least you have an “in” to ask why/ offer to help. Just make it really hard for them to say no!

Disgustingly rude of them. I wouldn’t bother visiting tbh. Spend the money you save on something nice for yourself. Fuck them.

Do they actually all sit and eat in front of of you eating @Shesastar76 and not offer you anything ?
Utterly bizarre.
If there never is any milk in the house what do the children drink ?
Are they vegan ?
Are the children’s calcium needs being met ?

My sister in law often turned up unannounced and just before serving our evening meal, it was a nightmare but I’d divide the food so she had a plate with us too. That is disgracefully rude and I know you’re wary of upsetting them but I’d be tempted to say something about this and possibly hint at being keen in say some animal refuge that you’ve written into your will!!! This has so angered me, poor you.❤️

I would also say if I have invited my friends or family around then I would offer drinks.
If my husband invited his friends or family however I would expect him to sort out drinks or food for them. I am not his servant!
This is why I don't feel the DIL is in the wrong. He has made the arrangement with his mum to visit so either the times need to be changed so he is not on shift when she arrives when she wants a drink, or that he acknowledges he needs to cook for everyone after work or order food/go out.
As suggested by myself and others the arrangement may not be working. Meeting out of the house may be better, meeting at a midway point easier as I personally hate it if there is an expectation that the in laws will be sitting in our house for the entire day making small talk. Going out is easier.

You do realise that this is not the societal norm and is viewed as rude and unwelcoming?

I'm not Irish but when people come to the house the kettle goes on - for family, friends or workmen alike.

I'd assume said friends have arms and legs and can make thier own drink I'm not your tea lady! 😂😂😂 I don't offer drinks either 🤷

Batshit crazy .

Jeezo that is rude, and weird 🤷🏼‍♀️

Your DIL is a rude, nasty b*tch.

Gosh. I wouldn’t keep going, at least not every month. Maybe they find that a but much ? I know I would if I were them. Once a term perhaps?

Irish here too and we do the same. It’s how I was raised.

That's weird and rude 😕

Do not go over. They do not want to see you and only want what you give/take to them. They are Pig Ignorant. If they want to see you let them come to you. When making arrangements do not include any refreshments at your home. Maybe meet out at a cafe/restaurant and only purchase your own requirements.

This is just bizarre.

What do you do if friends come round ?
What do you do if you have someone round in your house to work ?

My adult dc doesn't drink tea or coffee. An occasional hot chocolate is the only hot drink she has, but she keeps tea and coffee in and automatically offers it to anyone who comes to her house.

It is just a societal norm.