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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

A Covid One

136 replies

Goldengirl123 · 05/11/2026 18:32

AIBU to expect people to still test for Covid? We saw some friend's at the pub who had bad colds. I now have Covid. They didn’t test because they believe that Covid is just another cold. They didn’t mention that. I have low immunity and I’ve been really unwell with it all week. I’m annoyed with them. I feel it’s inconsiderate. They were selfish to go out. Other people are now getting it. One of our friends is having chemo.

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fridakahlosmoustache · 10/11/2026 00:28

lljkk · 09/11/2026 07:51

@fridakahlosmoustache , you said

There has been an expectation or a speculation around a vast wave of early dementia and other neurological diseases like Parkinsons occurring, as per after the Spanish Flu epidemic.

Do you have links to information showing Spanish flu caused Parkinsons or dementia later in life?

No, I don't walk around carrying links to multiple articles about this that I have read, but you could google it yourself.

ElizaSchuyler · 09/11/2026 14:09

Yes you are being unresonable. However if I had a bad cold I would stay away from someone undergoing chemo/warn them in advance.

AcornNuts · 09/11/2026 11:48

yes, and I'm frankly tired of hearing about it

Biker47 · 09/11/2026 11:46

Unless I'm dying in bed with an illness I'm still doing what I normally do, the two times I had covid it was some headaches and a scratchy throat, I went to work and carried on with my life in both those instances.

lljkk · 09/11/2026 07:51

@fridakahlosmoustache , you said

There has been an expectation or a speculation around a vast wave of early dementia and other neurological diseases like Parkinsons occurring, as per after the Spanish Flu epidemic.

Do you have links to information showing Spanish flu caused Parkinsons or dementia later in life?

Artichokepiglet · 08/11/2026 07:47

I wouldn't expect anyone to still be testing for COVID, however, IMO, if you're unwell you should at least warn people before you meet up with them so they can reschedule if concerned. Obviously its more serious if you're immunocompromised but lots of people would still prefer not to get a cold.

Autumnalhibernationisthedream · 08/11/2026 04:27

I think if you really think it’s Covid you may as well know. There’s definitely something back, I work with the public and every second person is coughing and sneezing and saying they have headaches and loads of our staff are back out sick (we had this earlier in the year)

MCF86 · 08/11/2026 04:19

RandomCactus · 05/11/2026 21:40

I’ve been known to ask that question on occasion too, but must admit it’s a bit of a funny one, isn’t it? I’m not immunocompromised or anything but I do hate being sick, so I’d much rather a friend postponed instead of meeting me with a cold. I would feel it was rude to say to a friend that I didn’t want to see them because of their cold though. Ah, the joys of British etiquette 😂

I wouldn't have the energy to meet up with anyone that's not close enough to give me brutal honesty anyway 😂 responses are usually either "god no, stay away" or "everyone at work has it anyway, so I'm already doomed."

fridakahlosmoustache · 07/11/2026 10:57

Applepiewithcream · 07/11/2026 10:01

I wasn’t responding to you and you are taking what I have said out of context.

We are a vulnerable household and far from blasé. One of us will suffer for the rest of our lives because of Covid/vaccination. For avoidance of doubt, a life completely ruined and likely to end prematurely.

Not only are the implications of multiple infections not understood (which is not what I was responding to), but there is also a whole community who have either been damaged for life by the vaccine, or died because of it. Not that the powers to be acknowledge that. But interestingly it is now only the most vulnerable who are eligible to the vaccine via NHS (risks vs benefits). A more strict criteria than the flu vaccine. The general population is no longer eligible to a covid vaccine.

Well, I was responding to you.

The rest of this post is unrelated to what I posted though, and a rather odd about-turn from your previous one.

Applepiewithcream · 07/11/2026 10:01

fridakahlosmoustache · 06/11/2026 21:45

Yes, it kills some...

I hope you are this blase if/when you are one of the some!

I think the bigger problem is the still-emerging understanding of the implications of repeat infections. There is some thought that past covid infection is a major driver in the rise of rare and aggressive cancer diagnoses, and also heart attack heart failure and stroke in younger people, and there has been an expectation or a speculation around a vast wave of early dementia and other neurological diseases like Parkinsons occurring, as per after the Spanish Flu epidemic.

And of course with each new infectionyou increase your risk of getting Long Covid substantially, and/or sustaining a permanent level of lung damage.

I still get vaccinated. It's free where I am.

I wasn’t responding to you and you are taking what I have said out of context.

We are a vulnerable household and far from blasé. One of us will suffer for the rest of our lives because of Covid/vaccination. For avoidance of doubt, a life completely ruined and likely to end prematurely.

Not only are the implications of multiple infections not understood (which is not what I was responding to), but there is also a whole community who have either been damaged for life by the vaccine, or died because of it. Not that the powers to be acknowledge that. But interestingly it is now only the most vulnerable who are eligible to the vaccine via NHS (risks vs benefits). A more strict criteria than the flu vaccine. The general population is no longer eligible to a covid vaccine.

MidlifeMiseryGuts · 06/11/2026 21:48

My tedious view is that there’s no point testing hey someone shouldn’t be turning up to a social event stuffed with cold anyway. It’s so selfish.

fridakahlosmoustache · 06/11/2026 21:45

Applepiewithcream · 06/11/2026 06:57

There is plenty of talk about vaccinations if you are in one of the cohorts who is eligible. I would liken it to something like pregnancy, not discussed by the general population, just those affected by it.

Covid data is still being collected, although not from the general population. It’s clear that it has not gone away. Not sure that we do have herd immunity but it’s being treated more akin to flu. What does really suffer from it mean? Yes, it kills some, some will end up with other terminal or chronic health conditions, for others they don’t even know that they have it.

Vaccines take into account risk vs benefit. It could be that its considered that the risk of having a vaccine is greater than the risk of getting covid in younger or healthy populations. Hence it now only being offered to a much narrower range of the population - over 75s and those with certain health conditions.

Yes, it kills some...

I hope you are this blase if/when you are one of the some!

I think the bigger problem is the still-emerging understanding of the implications of repeat infections. There is some thought that past covid infection is a major driver in the rise of rare and aggressive cancer diagnoses, and also heart attack heart failure and stroke in younger people, and there has been an expectation or a speculation around a vast wave of early dementia and other neurological diseases like Parkinsons occurring, as per after the Spanish Flu epidemic.

And of course with each new infectionyou increase your risk of getting Long Covid substantially, and/or sustaining a permanent level of lung damage.

I still get vaccinated. It's free where I am.

SquirrelGG · 06/11/2026 19:12

Brucebogtrotter257 · 06/11/2026 08:23

I think the difficulty is telling that it's covid in the first place sometimes it feels like a heavy cold or cough and you wouldn't test for that.

I've tested with every cold I've had since COVID times.

SquirrelGG · 06/11/2026 19:08

Applepiewithcream · 06/11/2026 06:57

There is plenty of talk about vaccinations if you are in one of the cohorts who is eligible. I would liken it to something like pregnancy, not discussed by the general population, just those affected by it.

Covid data is still being collected, although not from the general population. It’s clear that it has not gone away. Not sure that we do have herd immunity but it’s being treated more akin to flu. What does really suffer from it mean? Yes, it kills some, some will end up with other terminal or chronic health conditions, for others they don’t even know that they have it.

Vaccines take into account risk vs benefit. It could be that its considered that the risk of having a vaccine is greater than the risk of getting covid in younger or healthy populations. Hence it now only being offered to a much narrower range of the population - over 75s and those with certain health conditions.

I'm not in the UK, anyone here can have a free COVID vaccination

flumposie · 06/11/2026 18:27

I have had covid 3 times. Last week I sat next to my sister in law at her birthday party. She had covid. Tested positive 3 days later. She wasn't to know. However I was having major surgery 8 days later. As soon as she told me I wore a mask in case I had it and tested myself twice. Mainly so I didn't pass it on to my elderly, frail mum and so I knew whether surgery could go ahead. Thankfully I didn't get it, managed to have my surgery. I believe in testing still.

IroningWhileWatchingTV · 06/11/2026 18:21

I’m wondering how you know you have low immunity, OP. Have you had some sort of test for it? If so, I would also like to have the test as I catch everything going. Thank you.

Lor63 · 06/11/2026 18:19

DoNoTakeNo · 05/11/2026 21:27

I’m in full agreement with you @Goldengirl123.
A friend gave me covid a couple of weeks ago & I’m extremely ill (complex chronic conditions) as a result of their thinking that it’s just a cold. It really pissed me off that they were so selfish when they knew that it can be life threatening for me. But hey, it’s only a cold, innit!

If you catch covid again call 111 and you will be referred for antivirals.

So many people on this thread saying they have chronic conditions and are immunosuppressed but nothing about vaccinations and AVs, for which you will all be eligible.

Lor63 · 06/11/2026 18:16

SurferRona · 05/11/2026 19:45

Did you miss the words in OPs post that she is low-immunity? Do you understand that managing to rarely catch anything could have something to do with, er…., perhaps your normal high immunity?

On a completely unrelated note, do other people ever wonder if stupid people can catch stupidity and get even stupider?

If OP is immunosuppressed she will have access to antivirals and will have had all her vaccinations - most likely one in the past few weeks, which will mean that illness is likely to be less severe.

Lor63 · 06/11/2026 18:13

@Goldengirl123 I'm immunosuppressed. I have had Covid 12 times (all tested positive) but haven't had it for a couple of years now thank goodness. I think I've built up a little immunity to it because I have two vaccines a year. I'm also eligible for antivirals if I do test positive so thankfully have not been very ill with it for several years.

If you are immunosuppressed, are you not eligible for vaccinations/antivirals? The AVs in particular are a godsend. I have gone from feeling as if I'm at death's door to up and about after two doses.

I test whenever I'm feeling even slightly unwell (I also get free tests) because I need to start on AVs as soon as I can if I have covid. I also test weekly before I inject my immunosuppressive meds if there's even the slightest chance I've been in contact with someone who has covid - eg if I've been travelling or sat next to someone coughing and spluttering on the bus!

I take all these precautions and I can do no more. I don't expect others to test. It's on me to protect myself. That said I would hope that anyone close to me who knows my situation wouldn't get too close if they were unwell, whatever they were ill with, and usually they don't.

TempestTost · 06/11/2026 17:54

NewspaperTaxis · 06/11/2026 03:44

I didn't want to start a new thread on this but I do find the whole Covid thing very odd now, in particular how it is never mentioned and it's like the whole thing was a bad dream we've woken up from. No mention of vaccinations. So has Covid actually gone away then? How can that be so given the whole thing was massive for over a year? Have we all got herd immunity or is it now accepted that only a minority really suffer from it?

It almost plays into the hands of people who say that the whole thing was just a hoax - and I'm not one of those people. I do find it strange that vaccinations are not being pushed any more. I'd ask if this is because a percentage of people were found to be damaged by them but I don't want to start off on a conspiracy thing. Personally I never had a problem with them - though it's a fact that one of them, gosh, I can't even remember the name, not the Pfizer one, oh, Astra Zeneca - did in fact cause blood clots in the brain so that got stopped. That said, I won't be having the flu vaccination this year because that one does adversely affect me, it has me feeling rundown and with tinnitus for much of the year.

It all seemed to come straight after Brexit so all debate on it had that same hysterical binary, right or wrong tone to it - I find the whole trans debate is played out in the same way. Similarly, just as folk don't want to talk about Brexit any more, it's like Covid is a no-go area.

There are still people getting the updated vaccinations. Some people are not high risk and it's not a strong recommendation. Also people who caught it in the past eight months or so don't need them, they have immunity from the virus itself.

It's now being treated as a normal illness though. That is, they look at the risk profiles and what the best ways to manage respiratory illness in the population are, and then they make recommendations based on that.

They don't recommend testing for covid for the same reasons they don't recommend home testing for flu or RSV. It doesn't offer much benefit, and all of these viruses are best dealt with symptomatically.

And it's a cost. All those covid tests used in the pandemic cost a lot. And you always have to ask, are there better things that could have been spent on?

It doesn't matter which you have. If you aren't very sick, don't do much, just treat your symptoms. If you can't breath, go to the hospital.

So if you are treating symptomatically, and the type doesn't matter, testing is a waste of funds.

TeenLifeMum · 06/11/2026 17:44

TempestTost · 06/11/2026 17:38

If it were me, my assumption would be that a pub is going to be full of people and some will be able to pass on viruses like colds, flu, RSV, and covid.

Some will be workers, some will be asymptomatic, some will have minor symptoms. But they are all common endemic illnesses.

I would probably still go to the pub if I wanted to. But I certainly wouldn't expect people to be testing and isolating every day.

Edited

I agree re testing. A bit of common sense would be nice but I’ve met the public and we’re a predominantly selfish group.

icecreamscreams · 06/11/2026 17:39

TeenLifeMum · 05/11/2026 21:18

But the alternative is he stays home until he dies. When he stops chemo that will be when it no longer works. People need to stay home if ill - do I think they will? No. So there’s a likelihood I’ll lose my dad earlier due to their selfishness but spending the rest of his life isolating is no life.

I get it, it really is shit. I’ve been severely neutropenic for over a decade now and trying to balance living and not catching things is hard.

I did nearly lose my temper with someone with chicken pox who didn’t tell reception (happened twice, our doctors asks you to notify if you’re coming in with chicken pox or other contagious stuff so they will take you in a back door) which meant I then spent the rest of the day ringing round haematology to sort out blood tests and if I needed anti virals

TempestTost · 06/11/2026 17:38

ScrollingLeaves · 05/11/2026 20:54

I don’t think he’d be wise to presume ill people will stay at home.

If it were me, my assumption would be that a pub is going to be full of people and some will be able to pass on viruses like colds, flu, RSV, and covid.

Some will be workers, some will be asymptomatic, some will have minor symptoms. But they are all common endemic illnesses.

I would probably still go to the pub if I wanted to. But I certainly wouldn't expect people to be testing and isolating every day.

Waitingfordoggo · 06/11/2026 16:37

PensionMention · 06/11/2026 09:25

Some people just don’t have symptoms of whatever cold or virus they have including Covid. Years ago we all four of us had Covid, this was at the time you were supposed to test and due to DH job he had loads of tests. The difference in illness levels was huge, DS had hardly a sniffle, would be thought of as the mildest cold if that whilst the rest of us were very obviously unwell.

Yes, I mentioned this upthread- I think I am largely asymptomatic to these kind of viruses. I had Covid once to my knowledge in 2020 during lockdown (I tested). I had a mild headache and a runny nose for a day or two (it was the headache that made me test because I really never get headaches), my DCs were completely unaffected. I may well have had Covid, flu or a cold since then but been completely unaware as I haven’t had any symptoms.

Obviously if I were to feel unwell, I would stay away from people, but it is a worry that I may well have spread viruses around without knowing. I don’t see how I could avoid this unless I tested regularly for different viruses.