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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to want fewer last-minute family trips at the weekend?

90 replies

Fruityjunior · 16/09/2026 21:43

I'm going to put a disclaimer here that I'm ready to hear that my steak is too juicy and my lobster is too buttery.

My DH wants to go away all the time. It sounds like that would be amazing and it is of course when we're there and it's lovely to spend time together as a family (DD8 and DS6).

DH has his own business and works from home or literally wherever he wants. He's under a lot of stress and pressure during the week and he loves to get away as much as possible. He seems to really hate being stuck in the house which I absolutely understand.

What I'm struggling with is I'm finding it exhausting to keep packing and sorting stuff out all the time to go away. The kids also miss out on birthday parties and having play dates etc at the weekends. He also decides he wants to go away extremely last minute so sometimes it's a crazy rush for me trying to get everything ready. The bit that's really getting to me is if I try to explain this and that I just want a quieter weekend so I can recharge and have time to sort stuff in the house etc he has proper tantrums. He could literally suggest going somewhere at 11pm the night before and if I'm not well up for it he'll mope and get grumpy about it. He really truly believes that it doesn't matter when the kids are upset they can't go to a party or something they've been invited to/are excited about if it means we can't go anywhere. Oh and that also means I've had to drop out of parties etc last minute which makes me feel awful.

I feel like I'm being SO ungrateful but at the same time it's like he just cannot see how exhausting it is for me to keep up. Because he works so much the majority of kids stuff and housework etc etc is down to me and it's such an added pressure. I'm just so confused about it all and it really doesn't help that I can't seem to talk to him about it without him getting in a mood. I don't want to stop going away, it's great and I know I'm lucky to have a DH that does want to do these things and we genuinely have great times when we're away. I just want a weekend here or there where I don't feel guilty when I've said no

OP posts:
Timeforachange26 · 16/09/2026 22:15

LittleOrangeEgg · 16/09/2026 21:59

Wtf? He gets sulky and mopey if he can’t go away for the weekend? Is he 9 years old? Let him go away by himself then with a cheery wave so you can sort the house and give your kids some downtime or see their friends, you know - normal stuff

Bet shed whinge about that as well

superchick · 16/09/2026 22:09

Agree with everyone else. He can't just demand that you drop everything and change all your plans at the last minute because he feels like it. Grown ups plan things properly, honour their existing commitments, and communicate and compromise with each other. It sounds pretty unmanageable to be honest and I love going away and would love to be more spontaneous but its just not realistic all the time.

JanBlues2026 · 16/09/2026 22:09

Also you’ll all end up with no friends if you keep cancelling parties etc

DitzyDo · 16/09/2026 22:08

That sounds mental to me on so many levels tbh. The packing, unpacking, disorganisation for the week ahead, missing parties and building on friendships, not enjoying your home and the sheer entitlement that you will all jump to his merry tune.

I couldn’t / wouldn’t do it, even if I wasn’t working full-time.

Your kids need downtime too, from school. That’s what their weekends are for - recharging at home with the odd local outing.

JanBlues2026 · 16/09/2026 22:08

I would hate this

Soreenmaltloaf23 · 16/09/2026 22:06

I think a family calendar with pre booked events on and a number of trip away weekends blocked out would be the way to go. I do agree with other posters as to why do you go along with it? If you've got an event or party booked let him go with the kids. If they have let him take the other one. He will have to learn to compromise and realise not everyone's life revolves around him. Would he be so keen if he had to do all the packing ?

MJagain · 16/09/2026 22:02

fiveyo · 16/09/2026 21:57

Don’t get distracted by the fact that ‘going away’ is typically thought of as a treat and a nice thing to do. He wants to go and no-one else does; that’s the crux of the issue. You’re all dancing to his tune snd he throws a strop if you don’t. Tell him to go on his own or better still, stay home and put some washing away.

This.

I don’t think you’re lucky at all. It sounds like a stressful way to live.

Evaka · 16/09/2026 22:01

What a prick. Why does he get his way? Stand up to this asshole and let your poor kids have fun with friends. I love going away but I plan it with DP and we look forward to our trips, not spring them on each other..

TruffleSlinky · 16/09/2026 22:00

YANBU and this would drive me mad. It's lovely to go away sometimes but it's also good to have family time at home. Your DH sounds like a spoilt brat who always wants everything his own way.

LittleOrangeEgg · 16/09/2026 21:59

Wtf? He gets sulky and mopey if he can’t go away for the weekend? Is he 9 years old? Let him go away by himself then with a cheery wave so you can sort the house and give your kids some downtime or see their friends, you know - normal stuff

fiveyo · 16/09/2026 21:57

Don’t get distracted by the fact that ‘going away’ is typically thought of as a treat and a nice thing to do. He wants to go and no-one else does; that’s the crux of the issue. You’re all dancing to his tune snd he throws a strop if you don’t. Tell him to go on his own or better still, stay home and put some washing away.

AlphaApple · 16/09/2026 21:52

He’s totally unreasonable and the kids will start to resent him very soon if he’s not careful.

Do you have a family diary that everyone has access to? Put anything unmissable in it and make sure he knows about it.

EatingHealthy · 16/09/2026 21:51

I've said yanbu because that's my answer to your question: "AIBU to want fewer last-minute family trips at the weekend?"

But actually I do think yabu - for going along with it, for allowing your husband's immature, sulky, selfish behaviour to ruin commitments you'd already made and stop your children from going to parties they expected to be able to attend.

Oh and I don't think you're lucky.

I think you should reconsider the relationship - not because your husband wants to go on weekends away, but because he seems to think everything should always be his way without any consideration for you or your children. And his behaviour is so poor if he doesn't get his own way, that you would rather you and your children suffer all the other negative consequences of going on every whim weekend, then have to endure his behaviour. That sounds more abusive and controlling than lucky

Bavariamaria · 16/09/2026 21:49

I think it's really shit to not attend things you've said yes to. He also doesn't sound very nice for being moody. Yanbu I think.

MostlyHappyMummy · 16/09/2026 21:46

Do you work?