AIBU to want fewer last-minute family trips at the weekend?

Both ours had activities at the weekend from about 7 onwards my Saturday morning was driving to dance / hockey. The dc weren’t amazing at these sports but really enjoyed them and got a lot out of this. These commitments would have knocked this constant going away on the head.

Are you sure he’s not on the run?!

Why is that relevent? I don't understand why it is the first question many people ask.
I would hate that too OP. Down time at home is important for children too. It sounds as though you don't get any chance to just relax at home and be without doing anything in particular.
Would you be happy for him to go away without the family sometimes? Would he be willing to compromise by going less frequently? And doing some of the organising himself.

Most probably, highly academic but lacking in common sense.

Im amazed women live like this.

Just say no, we have a family diary so all commitments are in there, we can both see them and neither I nor DH think it’s ok to ditch things like parties or playdates, people will eventually just stop including your kids. Thats so selfish.

You have to be very careful here. DCs that drop out of organised parties and playdates at the last minute stop getting invited. Can’t imagine H is much use at actual parenting, so encouraging him to take up a time consuming exhausting hobby such as cycling or hill walking could be the way to go.

I don't think you are lucky at all and you need to reflect why you think that/justify that to yourself.

You have a selfish DH who you cannot communicate constructively with because he tantrums when you make quite reasonable points. He is only interested in his own needs at the expense of others. What's lucky about that ?

I knew before I had even got to the part where you said, that you'd be the one doing all the housework etc

Unreasonable.

I hope I never do business with someone like that also.

He's being an arse here. 'I have a big, important job so only my wishes matter'. Your children will suffer socially if you keep dropping out last minute. I'd think twice about inviting them to the party next year.

It does get busy with clubs, parties etc so would be reasonable to keep some weekends free from these so you can go away. Otherwise he needs to find himself a hobby, embrace day trips or just learn to relax at home. It's the wrong time of year, but we spent money on our garden so I enjoy it more, and that gives me more enjoyment when I am at home.

What I'm struggling with is I'm finding it exhausting to keep packing and sorting stuff out all the time to go away. The kids also miss out on birthday parties and having play dates etc at the weekends. He also decides he wants to go away extremely last minute so sometimes it's a crazy rush for me trying to get everything ready.

Stop enabling it. If he is booking trips then he can sort out packing etc. If he has time to book trips then he can also be the one to inform those holding birthday parties that the children won’t be attending because he has booked something else. I suspect after a couple of times he will calm the fuck down.

YANBU at all @Fruityjunior . He needs to calm the fuck down. What is he running away from all the time?

Just let him pack for himself and go alone. You and the DC stay behind and let them go to the parties.

YANBU at all. The odd well planned, known in advance weekend away is fun. But having random last minute trips thrown at me the night before would be my idea of hell. They stop becoming a treat if you’re away all the time and just become yet another chore.

He needs an absorbing hobby to distract him. Golf? Cycling? Kids are older not babies / toddlers so easier for you if he pushes off 9-1 or something and gets it out of his system.

I absolutely love a holiday/break but this sounds incredibly stressful. He is being very unreasonable.

I think you need to arrange some time on neutral ground where you explain this to him one final time. Or simply write him a letter, explaining it as you have done here.

How would you feel if he did some weekend breaks without you and the DC for example?

Also it doesn’t have to be a binary choice between being away the whole weekend or being stuck at home all weekend.

Could you start to plan in things for you to do as a family at weekends in advance? A child friendly theatre trip for example.

It sounds utterly exhausting.

I could not cope with this at all. Your husband is a selfish prick.

So your DH decides - often at the last minute - he wants to go away and everyone else has to run around packing and making all the other arrangements, including cancelling pre-existing social arrangements? And if you don't want to he sulks?

He sounds like a knob.

What is an Oxbridge man?

I know! This is a ‘no we are fucking not, and you’re taking Jacqueline to a party at the trampoline place at 10:30. You need to stop letting your children down if you want them to like you when they’re older’ And roll over and go back to sleep moment.

So it’s 11pm and you are about to go to sleep. He just announces that you are all going away in the morning. Do you just hop up and start packing? What does he do? Does he just swan off to bed?

Could he not go on his own occasionally?

I wouldn't be able to live like that with two young children. No way.

A). Your husband is horrible.

B). Next time, say “ok” and at the appointed time, go and sit in the car. “I’m here”. Just that. No bags, no kids, no snacks. If he squawks try saying “you wanted a weekend away so you are getting one.” Put absolutely everything into his lap. It might make for an absolutely awful weekend but pettiness can do that. Never say that I can’t be petty.

Bloody hell op, everyone would hate this, surely! Has he been telling you you should be so grateful? What a crock of shit.

My ex was like this. It was as if our company, our home and our community wasn’t enough. There always had to be something going on, usually expensive that involved organising, packing, bundling into the car etc. It was exhausting. Nowadays, DP, DC and I spend most of the time at home, popping out to do things locally or see friends. We enjoy just hanging out together, and our home. It’s enough, I have a lot more peace.

Tell him NO. It's not fair on the kids always to miss out on parties and events they have been invited to and it will damage their friendships.

Let your selfish prick of a DH sulk. The answer is still no.