Given friend a strong warning regarding a new bf & CSA accusation....

You are absolutely right.
Good luck. 💕

There isn't really an alternative view point on this surely? Some fella who you don't really know tells you they have been accused of sexually assaulting a young child, you also have a young child - who would ever risk that?

I wouldn't care if it was David beckham offering me the world I wouldn't put my child even potentially at risk.

I know you say you can't/won't make any reports about your friend but honestly, sje isn't putting the child first at all. I can only echo what others have said as I have a horribly close experience slightly similar to this. He MAY be innocent. Or he MAY have got in there first telling her about the accusations before she saw it somewhere else and used her reaction to tell if she would (sensibly) tell him to leave her alone or if he could continually get closer to the child. Child predators do find vulnerable single mothers to groom and they do worm their way in, if he was such a decent man why would he not accept her first refusal of him staying in her house with her and her young child? It sickens me as a mother myself that anyone would put anyone else before their own children or risk putting their children in harms way. I really hope that poor little girl is ok and doesn't end up another abuse victim.

There’s nothing you can do about this, clearly. But your friend seems like an extremely naive, chaotic and inadvertently self-destructive person with no concept of normal boundaries. I’m not surprised she has previously been the victim of an abusive partner, because I can well imagine how she missed a million red flags.

Having a very new boyfriend come to stay for two or three weeks in her home with her toddler would be a terrible decision even if he HADN’T been accused of anything. People really shouldn’t be bringing partners to stay over for weeks at a time with a small child ffs! She barely knows this man and even if he’s the nicest man in the world it would insanely early to have him spend three weeks with her child.

Any news op? Did he (please say yes) leave to stay somewhere else?

You aremt responsible for her actively concerning poor parenting decision.

She is thinking of herself over her child. It's not ok and you need to report it.

So much child abuse could be prevented if people spoke out.

Even if he isnt a danger, what about the next bloke? The next ba decision putting her child at risk?

Oh my days. Has she tried googling him at least, if he is downplaying a conviction then he might appear in a local news source?

Obvs it won’t mean he’s innocent if she doesn’t find anything but it would be a very basic bit of due diligence.

Given your update, I think you need to be upfront that you will report if she let's him in. Imagine if he hirts her child and you didnt refer? You arent switching, this is a serious concern and we arent at school.

You are simply making relevant information available to relevant people.

If anything happens, you cannot hold her hand and offer sympathy, can you?

She is making a dangerous choice that affects others. Imagine how you would feel if you were in the dads shoes.

She shouldn't even need warning.

Rumour or not I'd dump a new boyfriend with allegations like that. Even if its false, i wouldnt need the drama.

Yes I agree, and this could be a great starting point for your friend maybe op?
As she does sound a little worried deep down.
Why not agree on him staying at an airbnb?
Even without kids it is killing for romance, having some man you barely know sleep in your house, in all ways.
Might she decide to have him court her these coming two weeks?
Then decide what to do next time he comes over.

Even without the accusation, what the hell is she thinking moving a man she barely knows into her home with her child?! Especially when she's got to fight for custody, she needs to be putting her child first.

I get that. And I think you are a very good friend. She is still very honest with you, that is a big plus. It Sounds like she was almost there, but then lost her grip again.
And him letting her cancel and then calling him back to reset the plan, that he accepts this, to me is also a red flag. I see what you mean. It is like he feels happy he has his ticket inside her house back. Nothing else matters.
If he was truly innocent, I would expect him to be insulted and tell her to stuff it if she thinks that way about him.
Is there possibly something you can agree on with her? Something like 'if he does or says so and so, you know beforehand it is a definite red flag' And that at that point a report must be made if she doesn't send him packing?
If you agreed on it beforehand, it will be easier for her to recognize and more difficult to deny.
Though I wouldnt know what this might be.
Perhaps someone else knows more about the usual path of the scenario.
I don't think your friends dc will be in immediate danger though. He will be taking his time, if at all ofcourse he still might not be a predator, to get closer to everyone.

I wasn't saying he's innocent and you're wrong to be wary. Just a lot of people were saying that people don't make these things up, and that's definitely nonsense, people really do make these things up. I'd be advising her to keep her distance too.

OP, you are being a good friend not a 'fair weather friend', and when this mum hears/reads about the next case of child abuse she will thank god she listened to you

Hell would freeze over before I trusted this man, and if he’s innocent so be it, I wouldn’t be sticking around to find out. Any decent friend would warn their friend

So I'm coming at this from a slightly different angle because I do know someone who has been falsely accused of SA their child. There's been several years of the mother causing trouble one way or another. The child has previously been removed from the mother due to her moving her drug addict partner in with them, at which point the dad had his kid full time for a while but once the addict moved out it was decided the mum could have her back. There's been lots of her refusing contact and she has moved address and not told him. She not bothered taking the child to school for extended periods. Claimed the child isn't his. And now her latest trick is to claim he's sexually abused his daughter which has resulted in him not being able to see her for months now while the police investigate. She has also been in the papers a few times making over the top claims about discrimination and mistreatment from shops and restaurants. The woman is totally toxic, and toxic people do make stuff like this up. It's just a weapon to them.

If she's not going to dump him immediately, I'd try finding out more about the sister. My friend's ex was widely known to be an awful human being and a compulsive lier before she made the accusation.

@Italianita point is, as a mother of a young girl she has a responsibility & a priority to look after her kid. Forget if he was innocent/guilty - she can’t take the risk, as a mum she has to prioritise her child.
i also find the fact he told her more worrying - testing her boundaries immediately.