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AIBU?

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Original poster

This might save my marriage

137 replies

Hadenough2021 · 04/03/2024 08:02

Help me, would you have a cup of tea in your house with someone whose wedding you attended recently (within the year) I'm being vague on details because I genuinely don't know much more. Is it a stretch to assume that if you're friendly enough with someone to attend their wedding that you would be prepared to have a cup of tea with them?

Please vote accordingly.

Unreasonable: no I wouldn't have a cup of tea in my house with someone whose wedding I had attended.

Reasonable: yes, I would have a cup of tea in my house with someone whose wedding I attended.

OP posts:
JustOneFootInFrontOfTheOther · 04/03/2024 08:05

I’d have a cup of tea with someone I knew in my house, yes. What would be the alternative, make them stand on the driveway?
Puts me in mind of a thread, vaguely remembering chairs on the driveway and people not allowed past for some reason.

WimpoleHat · 04/03/2024 08:05

The voting doesn’t work.

This is bizarre - why would you not have a cup
of tea with someone you’d invited round to your house? Or is this a case of someone has popped round with something and you’ve invited them in for a cup of tea? If the latter, perfectly reasonable if it’s someone you know. The Amazon delivery driver? Probably a bit odd unless exceptional circumstances!

EspressoMacchiato · 04/03/2024 08:05

It’s impossible without more context

StormKevin · 04/03/2024 08:06

YABU for writing a post that makes no sense

ShirleyPhallus · 04/03/2024 08:07

This is such a daft question

in general, yes, but if there was a pervy old uncle of my husband we’d invited out of duty then I wouldn’t want to have a tea 1:1 with him

TheCatOnMorrisseysHead · 04/03/2024 08:08

What a weird question to ask without context. Depends doesn't it... if it's my cousin Jane, sure. If it's Rose West, no thanks.

RampantIvy · 04/03/2024 08:08

Why wouldn't you?

Not enough context.

TiptoeTess · 04/03/2024 08:09

You’ve clearly written your OP without context to get replies in one direction. What’s the other wise of the story?

winniethepooped · 04/03/2024 08:09

?? Of course the answer is yes that's totally reasonable.

But obviously you are missing so much context here that it's actually pointless.

Is it an old flame? Is there history with the friend? Is it a male/female reunion alone? Are there other issues with friend? Is there an attraction on one/both sides?

In which case, my answer would likely be different.

WalkingThroughTreacle · 04/03/2024 08:09

The wedding attendance is irrelevant. The choice of beverage is irrelevant. If one partner trusts the other and that trust is deserved then it's a non issue. If you are the tea drinker and your partner is losing their shit because you had a cup of tea with a friend then you have a partner problem. If you are losing your shit because your partner had a cup of tea with a friend then you are the problem.

Grosshesselohe · 04/03/2024 08:09

I’ve been to the weddings of some people I hardly knew and others I didn’t know at all (work colleagues of DH spring to mind) and I might feel a bit uncomfortable having a cup of tea with them in my house

Dearg · 04/03/2024 08:10

Ok so, your DH has visited a woman, whose wedding he/ you both attended, and you suspect more than tea? But tea is his excuse?

Sounds like you have your suspicions about your DH behaviour. If swallowing a lie is what it takes to save your marriage - don’t.

lawanddisorder · 04/03/2024 08:12

Op if someone is telling you you can’t have a cup of tea with someone in your own home then I would say that someone is the problem, not the tea and most certainly not you.

Giter · 04/03/2024 08:12

It depends if at said wedding that person tried to fuck me in the toilets minutes after marrying their one true love.

Is this person my ex?

Does this person see me as the "one who got away?"

Is the cup of tea being drunk in bed?

Is my husband usually a level headed reasonable person and so this is just about this one person?

Way too many variables. You seem to posting this as something innocent, I have a feeling it isn't.

Bearpawk · 04/03/2024 08:16

Sorry, I can't make head nor tail of this. Can you try again?

1daughterand3sons · 04/03/2024 08:24

Confused.com

Itscatsallthewaydown · 04/03/2024 08:24

We seem to have plenty of threads telling us how rude MNetters are becoming, but not enough about how fucking mental the posts are getting.

skippy67 · 04/03/2024 08:25

StormKevin · 04/03/2024 08:06

YABU for writing a post that makes no sense

This.

Icedoatlattelove · 04/03/2024 08:26

I would have a cup of tea with someone who's wedding I recently attended.

Thepeopleversuswork · 04/03/2024 08:27

What??? Your post makes no sense. If you want help with this you need to provide more information.

Beezknees · 04/03/2024 08:27

Yes, of course I'd have a cup of tea in my house with someone whose wedding I'd attended.

Clearly you suspect more though. Is this your husband having a cuppa with a female friend? If so, have they given you any other reason to think an affair is going on? Without context it's hard to say if YABU.

Hankunamatata · 04/03/2024 08:28

I offer all visitors a hot drink

this is bizarre

Picklestop · 04/03/2024 08:28

The question doesn’t make sense. Ask what you really want to know, you are just wasting people’s time and your own otherwise.

Igmum · 04/03/2024 08:29

Errrr ... yes?

Original poster
Hadenough2021 · 04/03/2024 08:30

There is a woman, that attempted to ruin my marriage some 10 years ago, 6 weeks after I had my little girl. I forgave my husband for his part in it and moved on. The woman, was semi friendly with my in-laws but only through my husband. When my husband and I stopped having anything to do with this woman I assumed my in-laws did too.

Fast forward to a year ago, I heard on the grapevine then pictures on social media that my in laws attended her wedding.

To be clear I don't expect to control who my in-laws see. However, I don't wish to see her, bump into her or otherwise and I can control who I see. Therefore I don't go to my in laws house anymore through fear of bumping into her. I still see inlaws and in the main have a semi decent relationship with them.

My husband after a year has now decided that it is ludicrous and that his parents aren't friendly enough with her to have a cup of tea with her, just go to her wedding.

When I think back to my wedding I wouldn't have invited someone that I wasn't at-least friendly enough with to have them over for a cup of tea. Let's be realistic, she didn't invite them to her wedding after no contact for 10 years+ so my in-laws obviously have a relationship with her. Is it wild of me to assume this might include her visiting their house?

OP posts: