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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be sad I didn't receive one gift this year?

197 replies

carlydiamond · 25/12/2023 15:36

Nothing under the tree for me. Feeling sorry for myself that not one person gave any thought for me. It sucks.

OP posts:
WorriedMum231 · 25/12/2023 15:36

That’s awful. Who do you live with?

App13 · 25/12/2023 15:37

I'm thinking of you this very moment, and here is a heartfelt hug for you ❤

Original poster
carlydiamond · 25/12/2023 15:41

Thanks. I even made an effort and put a dress on (a rare occasion). Not one person said a thing.

Ex- partner and his parents, two DC's, 11 and 15.

Just feeling really lonely this year, like the whole thing rated on me to host, cook, organise, which I don't mind, but it feels like there's no one who gave me a second thought.

OP posts:
StoorieHoose · 25/12/2023 15:42

Why are you hosting your ex and his parents?

rochenutty · 25/12/2023 15:43

what has happened in previous years?

MandyMotherOfBrian · 25/12/2023 15:43

Did everyone else get presents

tenpoundpombear · 25/12/2023 15:43

That's awful OP I'm so sorry. Of course yanbu, especially if you're hosting. Sending a hug xx

AuntMarch · 25/12/2023 15:44

Very poor show for guests not bring a gift for the host, even if just a box of chocolates!
And given its obviously civil if they are all there, even poorer show that ex didn't help the children get you something.
I'm really sorry they're all so thoughtless.

rochenutty · 25/12/2023 15:44

like the whole thing rated on me to host, cook, organise,

you decided any delegating a single thing?

PickAChew · 25/12/2023 15:45

🫂 Rude buggers. They could at least provide a hosting gift even if they aren't inclined to give you a personal one.

mrsbyers · 25/12/2023 15:45

Ah that’s not very nice at all , have you got any spare money ? I’d go out and treat myself to something nice when you can - put yourself first for once x

WorriedMum231 · 25/12/2023 15:46

carlydiamond · 25/12/2023 15:41

Thanks. I even made an effort and put a dress on (a rare occasion). Not one person said a thing.

Ex- partner and his parents, two DC's, 11 and 15.

Just feeling really lonely this year, like the whole thing rated on me to host, cook, organise, which I don't mind, but it feels like there's no one who gave me a second thought.

How utterly ungrateful and ignorant of them (not including the children in that).

Im sorry x

TastesLikeStrawberriesOnASummerEvening · 25/12/2023 15:47

That was me in previous years, so now I buy my own presents.
I embraced it, I got exactly what I wanted.

Yes, OP, I know it's shit, you can't change it though.

WashItTomorrow · 25/12/2023 15:48

That’s awful. Why didn’t your DC get you anything? That’s particularly awful.

EmptyYoghurtPot · 25/12/2023 15:49

Very rude of the adults, especially with you hosting (and no doubt providing the food). 11 year old could be forgiven as children that age still get caught up in all the presents being for them, but the 15 year old should have thought about you. What did you do whilst they were all opening their gifts? I hope they were embarrassed

SweetChilliChickenWrap · 25/12/2023 15:50

I thought you must be on your own, so was going to suggest you buy a few things for yourself like I do.

But it's appalling that your children didn't buy you anything.

And what are you doing hosting your ex husband and his parents???

ChristmasFairyGodmother · 25/12/2023 15:50

You are hosting the wrong people. Your children, yes, but hosting your ex and his parents, who obviously do not care about you, is your problem here.

Don't say you do it for your kids because the worst thing for them is to witness you being disrespected.

Make your decision today that this madness stops. Next Christmas is on your terms and be clear with your children that you expect them to acknowledge you even with a card. Kids need to be guided and this will be a valuable lesson for them.

And if receiving a gift is important to you yet there's no-one who'll buy for you, take control of your situation by buying yourself something nice.

Also, please don't buy for your exes!!

alwaysmovingforwards · 25/12/2023 15:55

Sorry, you're hosting your Ex?
And the parents of your Ex??

Yikes, I couldn't think of a worse Christmas than that, would rather have it in my own. You need to either sort your priorities out or have some boundaries.

Iknowtheyareusefulstorage · 25/12/2023 15:57

Sweetie, if you act like a doormat, people will walk over you.

When the shops are open, do a post Christmas sale secret santa with your kids - silly budget (£3 or similar) - they can ask your ex for the funds.
Re-do Christmas day but with the 3 of you, the food you all really like and gifts for everyone. Show them how it should be.

Also, get yourself something you want x

Pepperama · 25/12/2023 16:00

At 11 and 15 I think it’d be important to explain to them how sad their thoughtlessness and lack of effort made you feel. I’d give them a chance to make amends if they feel guilty and ask how they can make it better - do something nice for you or similar. It isn’t tit for tat but if they couldn’t care less I’d be rather unenthusiastic about considering their next ask, whether that’s a thing they want or something they need you to do for them.

Ex & parents - assume they’re ex for a reason so would try to ignore and not make an effort next year.

rochenutty · 25/12/2023 16:00

The gift of martyrdom

AmyDudley · 25/12/2023 16:01

Got any mushrooms ? time to bring out the beef wellington I'd say.

piscofrisco · 25/12/2023 16:03

I got maybe two small things. But tbh I don't care really-and I don't really know why-I used to really look forward to the presents-suddenly I couldn't give a stuff. Dh and I treated each other to a slap up meal out, dd2 ended up tagging along as she didn't want to be with her dad, and we have had a lovely day.

Wishitsnows · 25/12/2023 16:04

Glad he is an ex. He should have bought something on behalf of the dcs and the ex in-laws have no manners or class to not bring a gift for the host. I hope 2024 is surrounded by better people.

AmethystSparkles · 25/12/2023 16:04

Next year you buy yourself and the kids an equal number of presents. That’s what I do although I couldn’t think of much to buy because I buy myself treats all year 🤣