23 and 18?

My husband and I started dating when I was 19 (nearly 20) and he was 26. I didn't think a thing of it and as far as I am aware neither did anyone else. That was 22 years ago though

There's a big power difference there

Nah 5 years is fine at that age. My husband is 4 years older than me, we got together when I was 16.

No, its not strange.

I would say anything over 5 years is pushing it though at that age.

I met my ex husband when I was 17 and he was 20. We married eventually but obviously it didnt work out. Nobody thought it was weird.

My current partner was 25 when he dated a 19 year old. He said in hindsight, she seemed very immature but that nobody raised an eyebrow at the age at the time.

I was just turned 18 when I met my bloke,he was 25.

I'm now 65 and he's 72, been 40 years married

Nope! I met my now DH at 16 and he was 23, got together at 17 and 24 and had a happy sixteen years together.
Age is just a number.

Dh was 23 and graduated and I was 19 and just started Uni when we met. Been together 23 years. Never even considered it was weird.

That’s my parents’ age gap. I thought it was normal.

Everybody missed out during the pandemic,we can't keep.blaming Covid for everything for evermore
Previous generations have had world war ,s to deal.wih but nobody ever tried to say they were younger then they were though

I think it depends on the two people involved. But I don't think there's necessarily anything wrong with it.

When I was in my first graduate job I worked with a guy who was about 23 or 24 and he was a bit embarrassed about the fact that his girlfriend was 18 and just starting uni. They're still together (and married) over a decade later.

At 18 I dated a 24 yo - most immature adult I’ve ever met (in hindsight). Not dodgy though imo.

Like I said we don't know them. I suppose I'm going off how the young woman I know would feel but she was really mature at 18 years old.

The DD's might genuinely find it odd or they might just be being nasty about their Brother.

It's not unusual even now for a young woman to want to date a man who is not the same age.

18 and 23 is absolutely fine.

She's over 18. I don't think it's a big deal really.

They are both adults. It's no one's business but their own.

The amount of infantilising is getting ridiculous these days. Soon our young people won't be allowed to make their own decisions until they are 25. At 18 you are an adult. And, unless you are a vulnerable one, it's no one's business if the person you are sleeping with is 20, 40, 60 or 80.

No wonder people are so anxious all the time if they are never allowed to think for themselves.

18/23 is a perfectly normal age gap.

@CrapBucket - todays 23 year olds also missed out on their first couple of years of adulthood and maturing. They were either WFH or studying at home. Socialising in bubbles.

She is an adult so I don’t see a problem. I had just turned 18 when I met my husband and he was 23. It did feel like a bit of an age gap at first but I certainly wasn’t a child and I knew what I was doing. I was quite a mature 18 year old and he was quite a “young” 23 if that makes sense so it evened out. Neither of us had had a serious relationship before. We’ve been together 7 years now and I don’t even notice the age gap anymore. I feel like I spend half my life telling him what he needs to do in terms of parenting our son, jobs around the house etc. I forget he’s the older one.

Today’s 18 year olds missed out on a couple of years of normal development with the lockdowns and disruption (even if this particular woman sailed through it she’d have had peers in all sorts of different places mentally and socially) so I don’t actually believe a 2023 18 year old can be mature enough for their age to date a 23 year old. And agree it’s a line trotted out about women to make it seem ok for older men to date them.

I was 18, dp 22 when we met and I was the mature one 🤣. Still together now in our 40’s.

I had a five year gap a 18 and he was actually much more mature than me too. I was a first year and he was postgrad. It gave me some stability more than anything and naturally ran its course after a couple of years.

Yes it would have been a different matter if he'd been abusive but women of all ages seem to manage to get themselves into abusive situations.

My son is 22, he was recently set up with a friend of a friend and it turned out she was just turned 18. He said wasn’t up for that and didn’t go on the date.

As an aside, when I was 17, my boyfriend was 26. We both worked at the same place, it wasn’t seen as weird back then (mid 90s). We were only together less than a year but have remained good friends almost 30 years later. He’s horrified now, looking back, I’m not at all. It was normal then, no one batted an eyelid.

Exactly the same as my now husband and I when we met. I was month off 18 and about to start uni. 21 years later we are still together, married for 11 years and 2 kids.

I'd have an issue with a 23 year old woman and an 18 year old man.

It's about life experience, maturity and time of life though. at this age, the gap can be relatively small in age but significant in experience. At 23, I was interested in a 40 year old man. The reality is that it wasn't appropriate for either one of us - we were NOT in the same place in our lives and neither of us took it further beyond a bit of flirting because we could see that.

At what age do we stop infantilising young women? Boys are considered men at 18 and cut no slack due to age.
young women are subjected to Victorian level Pearl clutching. It’s an acceptable age limit as they are both legal and he isn’t in a position of power over her. It is no one else’s business.

Based on the official* half your age plus seven rule, they're just about on the limit of OK. 23/2+7 = 18.5.

*Entirely unofficial. But usually 'feels' about right.