To ask what a "normal" sibling relationship looks like

The relationships are all so varied just as mother/daughter, mother/son etc relationships are.
I have two younger brothers. Growing up we were very close but also fought like cat and dog which seemed normal. Sometimes I hated them. As teenagers we became more like friends and the fighting reduced. As adults we are just very close. No tensions between us. All three of us are very similar. They are like male versions of me (or I'm a female version of them). The closeness stems from how similar we are, the fact we have the same sense of humour, the fact we enjoy the same sort of things. There's also that shared history - growing up together with the same parents. I feel like we know each other on a much deeper level than friends who met later in life.
I also know loads of people who are extremely emotionally distant to their siblings or actively dislike them. I'm lucky that my brothers are my favourite people.

I have a brother who's never been there for me in any sense. He's cold, distant, emotionally unavailable and stays aloof. He has never been family oriented, I doubt he has any feelings for us.

Anecdotally I would say on balance most siblings get on well enough, especially as adults. I know far more who have decent relationships with siblings even if they aren't super close. I know quite a few people who are really close with their siblings and at the other end of the spectrum have bad relationships are are estranged but they are the minority.

My brother and I are nice to each other but we are not close and rarely contact each other. I know he'd be there for me in an emergency though.

Hi he's not abusive just emotionally unavailable. I've struggled with looking after my parents on my own, I can't share anything with him he doesn't seem to care. He's selfish, self centered, secretive and a classic case of a narcissist.

I am one of four. We are all incredibly close. I work with my brother and my sisters are my best friends. We speak most days and I can’t remember any of us falling out since our teens.

I have 4 dc (22, 19, 16 and 9) and they are also extremely close, the two middle ones especially. The older ones spoil the 9 year old rotten, she has them wrapped around her little finger.

I realise this makes me very lucky.

Almost the same set up as us. 3 siblings 1 bro 2 sis and we get on famously, work together, go out for meals and on holidays, same close relationship with our parents.

We never argue but are all very outspoken and can say what we want.

I realise how lucky we are and hope that my 3DCs follow suit.

Varies from sends constant WhatsApp updates, do completely ignoring each other for the past 5 years. No birthday cards, nothing, no falling out. There is no normal!

My DB is great. More than did his bit in caring for our mum when she had dementia and would be there if I needed him as I would be for him. Can be a bit grumpy at times but heart on the right place.

This describes me and my brother very well too. I'm glad I have him in my life, but it wouldn't change drastically if we didn't get on!

I have 3 siblings

A brother one year older than me - don't have much relationship, only really see eachother in passing, he isn't interested much in his nephew (my son)

18 year old brother - 6 year gap - love him to death. He'll even ring me just to tell me gossip about the latest date he's been on 😁 adores his nephew

10 year old sister - 14 year gap - she was like my own baby growing up! She' definitely acts like a teenager already and is preferring friends company over her big sis now, but hoping she'll love me again when she's older haha

As you can see, it's so different with each person! My little boy is very likely going to be an only child

I never liked nor had any attachment towards my sister. We don't talk anymore

God bless you and your family. What you have is so special.

I can only speak for myself, but my siblings are among my favourite people and I would always rather spend time with them than anyone else. I adore their partners too, and we make a very happy group of six.

We had normal childhood squabbles growing up but we’ve always, always had one another’s backs and would do anything for each other.

My husband has a brother and they’re much less close. They love each other and there’s no bad feeling but they never choose to hang out. They’re 5 years apart in age and just very different people, so not a lot of common ground. We always like seeing him and his partner at Christmas or his parents house for lunch etc but would never make plans to see them on our own, they just don’t have that relationship.

I have six siblings. There is no normal.

@toddlermom9 any idea why your older brother is like that? I wonder why my brother won't keep in touch or show any care.

As another only and a lifelong sibling watcher I would say there is definitely no normal sibling relationship. Fortunately I have a cousin who I'm close to and is like my sister. On DH's side the siblings are close and all get on and see each other regularly. My DM's large family are still close (they are in 70s/80s now) except for a brother who has mysteriously pretty much cut everyone off. DF's side are not close at all and his younger brother was quite toxic towards him. My two DS are reasonably close but don't socialise together except to watch sports.

It's so varied.

I don't have a relationship with my sibling but it's really just about the fallout from our upbringing.

While I feel sad sometimes I count myself really lucky to have an extremely wide group of very close friends who have always been there for me and enjoy time with my children and I. They are our chosen family rather than assumed.

My children are very close to each other ( aged between 10 and 20 ) but the way they are spaced in terms of sex and age means they don't have any direct rivalry with each other. Pius my exDh and I are very aligned in terms of family values, encouraging family relationships etc.

Used to be close to my younger DB until his Covid conspiracy theories/anti vaxxer views caused problems and I found out he is a cheating, selfish husband and lies to the rest of the family about me and DH. He also got sacked from his job because of his attitude.

Rarely see or hear from him now. Makes me sad. Still on good terms with his wife (SIL) and kids though.

I’m one of three and it’s definitely a case of three being a crowd, despite a tiny age gap between me and one sibling we’ve never had much in common.
We see each other 2/3 times a year and text every month or so and get on, happily go for a few drinks and have a laugh but we aren’t close.

My two siblings despite an over a decades age gap are really close to each other and see each other several times a week, go out and do things together etc.

As children none of us got on at all…

I'm a woman, and my brother is one of my best friends. He is my only sibling, and he is two years older than me.
We have the same sense of humor, and similar opinions. We text each other every day, and we talk on the phone at least twice a week. We don't live in the same part of the country anymore, but we travel to see each other around three times a year.

Brother & Sister are both older than me by ~10 years.

None of us are super close, but we love each other. My Sister & I share a dark sense of humour, so mostly just send each other bad taste memes. I don't have that much in common with my brother, but he delights in winding me up when we see each other. Still love him though, and if I needed him I know he'd be here in a pinch.

We all only see each other at family events though, we don't tend to hang out otherwise.