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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU or did this guy overreact to our dog approaching him?

536 replies

MrsH1992 · 05/10/2023 21:04

So we were walking our doodle on the beach who's about a year old and 4kg. Most the beach is no-dogs allowed in summer but this is the only bit they are allowed on. She's usually really good but sometimes has bad recall if she sees someone she knows. There was a guy in a red coat who I think she mistook for my dad as he has a similar coat/ build and she ran over to him and put her front paws up on his knees. We were running after her apologising when the guy tries to repeatedly stomp and kick her. She ran back to me terrified. This guy is now screaming at us and swearing really badly. He has a little kid with him (maybe three) so we say sorry but he needs to calm down. He then threatened us and was trying to square up to my husband. We're just trying to get round him but he's blocking our way (we need to continue along the shore line to get back to our car). In the end we get past but I was on the verge of calling the police.

So I know some people really don't like dogs and we should have her under control but it was the dog section of the beach plus she's tiny. I think he massively overreacted and shouldn't come to the dog beach if he feels that strongly and is liable to loose his temper like that. AIBU?

OP posts:
vodkaredbullgirl · 08/10/2023 18:42

MrsDoylesLastTeabag · 08/10/2023 18:39

Any person who would kick, or otherwise attempt to hurt, a dog that is not aggressively attacking them or someone else is nothing but a fucking scumbag.

But this is dog-hating Mumsnet, OP, hence the bonkers voting.

Edited

It's crazy, there are quite a few on here who would harm a dog.

Ohhelpicantthinkofaname · 08/10/2023 18:53

Of course he was being unreasonable. But this is mumsnet where the general consensus is that dogs should never be off the lead in public and certainly not if their recall isn’t 100% perfect at all times. Even if they are off the lead in the sort of dog friendly place you go to practice recall like the dog section of a beach. I’m not sure how they’re expected to have perfect recall if they’re never allowed off the lead to practice, but hey, that’s mumsnet.

anyone that reacts like that over what is essentially a minor annoyance probably shouldn’t be out alone in public, especially not caring for a child.

BananaSquiggle · 08/10/2023 18:57

I don’t think there’s such a thing as a “dog section” of a beach. There are sections of beaches where dogs are allowed. That doesn’t mean humans have to be OK with dogs running up to them and jumping at them to go on these sections. YABU

Ohhelpicantthinkofaname · 08/10/2023 18:59

BananaSquiggle · 08/10/2023 18:57

I don’t think there’s such a thing as a “dog section” of a beach. There are sections of beaches where dogs are allowed. That doesn’t mean humans have to be OK with dogs running up to them and jumping at them to go on these sections. YABU

There are sections where dogs are welcome and sections where they aren’t. If you feel that strongly about a dog running up to you that you have to scream, should and behave threateningly about it you should probably stay in the section where dogs are not allowed. It’s usually the bigger section anyway.

ChesterDrawz · 08/10/2023 19:02

BananaSquiggle · 08/10/2023 18:57

I don’t think there’s such a thing as a “dog section” of a beach. There are sections of beaches where dogs are allowed. That doesn’t mean humans have to be OK with dogs running up to them and jumping at them to go on these sections. YABU

Exactly.

For the hard-of-thinking militant dog owners, there are some beaches which allow dogs.

It does NOT mean dogs can be uncontrolled or that anyone else should have to contend with them running up to them.

It just means they are allowed to be there, rather than being completely banned.

BananaSquiggle · 08/10/2023 19:06

The “no dog” beach is the tiniest stretch. It’s unfair that you suggest people who are anxious around dogs have to keep off most of the beach

Ohhelpicantthinkofaname · 08/10/2023 19:08

ChesterDrawz · 08/10/2023 19:02

Exactly.

For the hard-of-thinking militant dog owners, there are some beaches which allow dogs.

It does NOT mean dogs can be uncontrolled or that anyone else should have to contend with them running up to them.

It just means they are allowed to be there, rather than being completely banned.

Show quote history

But the OPs question was was this guy being unreasonable to react the way he did. The answer to that is of course yes. What kind of rational person reacts like that? It boggles my mind that so many people think he was justified to be threatening in that way.

OP is aware she should have had better control of her dog, but dogs need to learn and sometimes while they’re learning they make mistakes. But do all of you people really think that it was ok for this man to act in such a threatening way because a dog jumped as far as his knee. Yes it’s a bit annoying, yea some people really hate dogs. But if you really hate dogs why go to the bit of the beach where they’re allowed to be off the lead. Surely if you know that you have a true and real hatred and cannot stand being near dogs would not just stick to the bit of the beach they’re not allowed? Because no one would react like that if they just found it a bit irritating, they clearly had a proper issue with. Ring around dogs.

Ohhelpicantthinkofaname · 08/10/2023 19:10

BananaSquiggle · 08/10/2023 19:06

The “no dog” beach is the tiniest stretch. It’s unfair that you suggest people who are anxious around dogs have to keep off most of the beach

Thinking about our nearest and best beach for walking, the section where dogs are allowed is about a tenth of the beach at the far end. East to avoid if you don’t like dogs. Many other beaches are like this. It’s unreasonable to suggest that people have to massively go out of their way to avoid the dog sections. They don’t.

ShapeBandit77 · 08/10/2023 19:27

Dogs are not allowed on all beaches during summer, so dog owners have to seek these dog beaches out. We assume all people on these beaches love dogs. So he is very much at fault here. 😃

ShapeBandit77 · 08/10/2023 19:29

100%

MJBmummy · 08/10/2023 19:48

I would kick it back to you as you clearly have no control over it

ShapeBandit77 · 08/10/2023 19:52

MJBmummy · 08/10/2023 19:48

I would kick it back to you as you clearly have no control over it

You seem just lovely. 🙄

BananaSquiggle · 08/10/2023 20:08

Ohhelpicantthinkofaname · 08/10/2023 19:10

Thinking about our nearest and best beach for walking, the section where dogs are allowed is about a tenth of the beach at the far end. East to avoid if you don’t like dogs. Many other beaches are like this. It’s unreasonable to suggest that people have to massively go out of their way to avoid the dog sections. They don’t.

Show quote history

Interesting, but totally the opposite where I live - only a very small proportion is dog-free (and even that isn’t after 1st Oct). Either way, I think it’s reasonable that humans can feel comfortable on all stretches of the beach.

BananaSquiggle · 08/10/2023 20:09

ShapeBandit77 · 08/10/2023 19:27

Dogs are not allowed on all beaches during summer, so dog owners have to seek these dog beaches out. We assume all people on these beaches love dogs. So he is very much at fault here. 😃

What?! 🤯

BananaSquiggle · 08/10/2023 20:13

Ohhelpicantthinkofaname · 08/10/2023 19:08

But the OPs question was was this guy being unreasonable to react the way he did. The answer to that is of course yes. What kind of rational person reacts like that? It boggles my mind that so many people think he was justified to be threatening in that way.

OP is aware she should have had better control of her dog, but dogs need to learn and sometimes while they’re learning they make mistakes. But do all of you people really think that it was ok for this man to act in such a threatening way because a dog jumped as far as his knee. Yes it’s a bit annoying, yea some people really hate dogs. But if you really hate dogs why go to the bit of the beach where they’re allowed to be off the lead. Surely if you know that you have a true and real hatred and cannot stand being near dogs would not just stick to the bit of the beach they’re not allowed? Because no one would react like that if they just found it a bit irritating, they clearly had a proper issue with. Ring around dogs.

Show quote history

For what it’s worth, I personally really like dogs. But I have multiple friends who are scared of dogs. To belittle this and suggest they just “hate” dogs or are “irritated” by them is very strange. Especially with all the news lately of increases in dog bites.

Abbimae · 08/10/2023 20:14

yabu. Entitled much. Not everyone wants your stupid dog jumping up at them. Get over yourself

Abbimae · 08/10/2023 20:15

ShapeBandit77 · 08/10/2023 19:27

Dogs are not allowed on all beaches during summer, so dog owners have to seek these dog beaches out. We assume all people on these beaches love dogs. So he is very much at fault here. 😃

How selfish are you!

Iamgrootyesiam · 08/10/2023 20:31

MrsDoylesLastTeabag · 08/10/2023 18:39

Any person who would kick, or otherwise attempt to hurt, a dog that is not aggressively attacking them or someone else is nothing but a fucking scumbag.

But this is dog-hating Mumsnet, OP, hence the bonkers voting.

Edited

🤣 dog hating mumsnet are you for real 🤣🤣🤣

Ohhelpicantthinkofaname · 08/10/2023 20:37

Iamgrootyesiam · 08/10/2023 20:31

🤣 dog hating mumsnet are you for real 🤣🤣🤣

Show quote history

Have you not read many of the posts on here? I’ve never seen such extreme views about dogs. I’ve even seen posters suggest poisoning dogs before now!

sophiasnail · 08/10/2023 20:43

My poodle is 3.5kg... what is your point?

Ohhelpicantthinkofaname · 08/10/2023 20:44

BananaSquiggle · 08/10/2023 20:13

For what it’s worth, I personally really like dogs. But I have multiple friends who are scared of dogs. To belittle this and suggest they just “hate” dogs or are “irritated” by them is very strange. Especially with all the news lately of increases in dog bites.

Show quote history

This guy wasn’t anxious. He was aggressive. If someone said “I’m sorry but I really am nervous around dogs could you keep it away from me”, or behaved anxiously rather than aggressively, I’m sure the OP would have apologised profusely and called her dog back. As it was the guy went ballistic and was threatening and aggressive. That’s not ok. Why I ask if he knows he will react this way to being near a dog would he choose to go to the dog friendly area of the beach only to behave abusively when a dog approaches him? 🤯

ShapeBandit77 · 08/10/2023 20:47

Abbimae · 08/10/2023 20:15

How selfish are you!

Show quote history

How am I selfish? Are beaches only for humans? 🤔

sophiasnail · 08/10/2023 20:47

Goodness... take no notice of all this nonsense OP. In the real world he massively overreacted. A small dog putting it's paws on him is a minor inconvenience at worse. You apologised - that should have been the end of the story.

Ohhelpicantthinkofaname · 08/10/2023 20:49

And why is everyone defending the aggressive behaviour of a man just because a dog was not quite as under control as it should have been. Honestly, does that give him the right to behave like that towards someone? Mumsnet is a strange place.

Dowhadiddydiddydum · 08/10/2023 20:52

This is why all dogs should be on leads in public spaces.

Of course someone trying to stomp on a small friendly dog, just because it jumped at them is OTT and overly aggressive - clearly a better way to deal with the situation….if that is what truly happened. Though I suspect the perspective of the man is very different.

However the situation would not have occurred had the owner had control of the dog. Fair enough it’s not happened before but it is still the owners responsibility to have the dog under control.