DP didn't come back

YABU

I'm also going through ADHD assessment, and I understand how you feel. It's not necessarily the issue (packing) but everything else around it that is setting you off. I need to get things done, and if something goes wrong or is out of control I lose it. I think you can see how it could have gone differently, but also understand that some of us will get why you reacted like you did. I hope you had a nice night away, and maybe it would be good to go to your GP to start the process - it's been helpful to understand why I behave as I do, and how to control some of those triggers and symptoms

I actually don't think you are being unreasonable at all. It's called weaponised incompetence.
There is actually alot for you to organise and sort out and he said he would help. Instead he has caused you more stress. I wouldn't put up with it.

The op has certainly done a spectacular job of making everyone focus on her self-diagnosed condition, rather than the shitty way she treats her children and her boyfriend.

Telling someone with ADHD to be more organised.🤣🤣🤣

Haven’t heard that one before.

Last time I packed for myself to go away for 10 days I packed a pair of trainers, a summer dress, a pair of shorts and a swimming costume

No underwear no t shirts to go with the shorts

I had on a summer dress and was wearing flip flops

Packing is so simple, you just grab some random items and put them in a bag. What’s the worse that can happen. You realise how freeing it is to go commando. Or you get out to your destination and find that it is having freak freezing weather conditions.

It's easy to fall back on a diagnosis nowadays

Its even harder living with a condition.

A couple of years ago I was watching a tv programme about a boy who had started to act completely out of character and had then disappeared
He was taking 30mg of the ADHD meds Vyvanse/Elvanse. Apparently that makes people off their heads on this party drug

I have adhd and take the 70mg pill and have to top up on Dexamphetamine x 2 and that just about keeps me awake during the day.

Saying it should take you no more than 15 minutes to make a sandwich is really Nt understanding how ADHD affects someone.

Yes it takes 15 minutes of dedicated time to make a sandwich but whilst you are making it someone with ADHD will forget about the sandwich and do other things that really need doing at that moment in time.

Those 2 pieces of bread will go stale by the time they have remembered the sandwich needs making. They went to the fridge to get the cheese out and having turned away from the bread it is out of site out of mind. It could take all day to make 1 sandwich .

Try living your life constantly tuned into 1000s of radios all are on different channels all at full volume from the moment you wake up to the moment you get so exhausted you fall asleep

Why did you ask me that?
It has nothing to do with my post.

If you want to debate my post which was about someone dismissing the problems that people with ADHD have because they themselves don’t struggle with that aspect of their lives, I’m happy to.

What?

That wasn't what I asked.

I asked if you think diagnosing yourself with ADHD is a good enough reason to leave your children with a drunk bloke you barely know.

He’s a twat.

The post I quoted didn’t mention the children.

But that post wasn’t just about the op. It’s was critical of every person who struggles in that way.

Do you think that a self-diagnosis of ADHD is a good enough reason to leave your children with a drunk bloke you barely know?

If her boyfriend diagnosed himself with something that might excuse his behaviour would he be let off too?

So many posts about the executive distinction that comes with ADHD yet people are still writing drivel like this.

He said he would do it that day, they were back by 6 so still plenty of time to do it. Given op was working all day and he said they would do it together he presumably meant in the evening.

@Sissynova you're still missing the point I'm making. Regardless of what we think about her packing angst (I agree with you about the practicalities, etc), her BF said he'd do XYZ then didn't. He's unreliable, which IMHO is a massive problem in relationships as we need to be able to trust our partners (on the small and not so small stuff). So, regardless of what nonsense (to us) the 2 of them agreed, he let her down and for that she's NBU IMHO.

Ok my mistake, replace the word ‘home’ with ‘back’ and now I think it conveys what I was trying to express.

He's NOT her partner.

He's NOT the father of her children.

He does NOT live with her.

She barely knows him.

He's her BOYFRIEND of a matter of months.

She walked out on HER children and left them with a virtual stranger.

Why is this so difficult to understand for so many?

HER children are NOT his responsibility in any way.

He's a flaky boyfriend.

That's all.🙄🤷🏻‍♀️.

She should dump him for his flakiness BUT her children are not his responsibility and shouldn't be left in his care.

Poor children.

Far too much drama for the sake of packing a bag to go away for the night. What’s so stressful about packing? And why does it take 2 of you? I pack for my family of 4 and it’s not a big deal, you should have been more organised. But your not and he’s right, it is what it is. Get on with it and stop ruining your night away with your pointless drama 😑

@littlemisspigg He walks off and spends all day having fun, doing his own merry thing , while you work, do the school runs, cook, take DC's to swimming and somehow fit in his multiple texts/ calls about when and where he is likely to be so he can be picked up too!
What a twat.

Whats that got to do with the boyfriend?! OP would have to work and look after her own children regardless on any given day!

Some of these comments are ridiculous.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/4682578-frustrated-im-starting-again

It may be much less than 5 months. But at the end of November she was complaining about not having a boyfriend and not knowing if she might ever meet someone.

Oh come on he said he would do it that day but in his mind there is probably still plenty of time to do it that, the op has been working and doing swimming lessons up until then so wouldn’t have been doing anyway.
he took a day off work, why can’t he spend it seeing his mum when his girlfriend is working. He’s not a twat because he doesn’t spend his day off sorting out his girlfriend’s house whilst she works.
why should he be doing the school run, cooking and swimming lessons?
from what I can see, the only thing he did wrong is the communication around where and when they would meet.

You are definitely not bu.
He walks off and spends all day having fun, doing his own merry thing , while you work, do the school runs, cook, take DC's to swimming and somehow fit in his multiple texts/ calls about when and where he is likely to be so he can be picked up too!
What a twat.
Your dp sounds Selfish , and entitled and seems to rather enjoy you tripping over yourself trying to do everything while he saunters about. He's messing with you, totally taking the p*ss.
Go home and look after your DC's because they're clearly not safe with him.
And don't trust him next time he says- We'll do it together- because in his head he's thinking- I'll make her do it all-.
What does he bring to the relationship except more angst for you?

He does sound like an arse. It's all the changing of plans, letting you down all day. I'm not surprised you went ballistic.

Sadly he doesn't give a shit. My guess is he's either an allied or up to no good in some way. But then I am suspicious by nature.

I hope it gets better for you.

Because in a thread elsewhere she was single in November. She could have been with him even less than 5 months