Frustrated I'm starting again!

[ohfacksake]

Bit of a back story:

Had children, got married and two years later ex husband left me for someone else. I was absolutely heart broken and struggled to move on.

Over 3 years later, I met someone new. At first it was great, but then it slowly went down south. I've recently broken up with him and, looking back over the last 18 months, I realise it shouldn't have really lasted as long as it did. Hindsight is a wonderful thing, as they say!

So now, I'm 32, have two children, and I'm starting all over again! I just want to be able to have "that" story of when you randomly meet someone and then the rest becomes history. I want to be happy and have a partner, not a fully-grown man-child. Is that so hard to ask? Is there anyone else out there who has been in the same situation as me and then they found their Mr Right? Or is there someone who's in the same position as me and they to feel sorry ourselves together? 🤣

Would you want to be blending families? Are you looking for a man without children but who doesn't want any or more? It's more complicated now that there are children involved....

I definitely wouldn't turn my nose up to blending families. I really don't think I want anymore children, so almost feel a burden to a man without children as they may not be the life they want. But on the flip side, my recent ex didn't have children and I feel he didn't "get it", if that makes sense? He definitely wasn't paternal and was only around because of me, not necessarily interested in them. So I don't want to fall into that again!

One part of me wants the whole get married and buy a house together again. Then the other side of me feels that I would be happy to not live with someone but still have the partnership and companionship.

It's just soooo hard to find the good guys nowadays!

I have two young children and am coparenting, but enjoying dating someone I’ve met. We see each other on my child free days. It is fun and affectionate. However we do have very different lives and sometimes I feel a bit disconnected from him when I’m with the kids. But I don’t want to move a partner in too soon and am not sure how the dynamics of that would work. Part of me enjoys not living with another grown up!

I agree, I have enjoyed having my space back again and only having to worry about the kids. But, I can't tarnish all men with my experience with my ex as he was literally just a man-child. I mrs my own stupid fault for putting up with it for so long!

I just feel so 'meh' about it all. What if it takes me another 3+ years to even find someone to date again, let alone be in a relationship with them! I know no one has any answers. It's just really disappointing and sad when your life hasn't turned out how you imagined it would.

@ohfacksake I know how you feel. None of us plans for this kind of thing. I think if my current relationship doesn’t work out I am going to focus on my friends and hobbies for a while.

Yeah I'm excited to mingle with my friends again a bit more, however all bar one have their own families so they're not sissy's around, which is fine!

I guess I just need to live my life for what it is and stop thinking about what it "should've been". I just sometimes feel cross at ex-h's new wife because she's taken it all away and now has it for herself. Then I feel bad because we do get on now and she's a lovely step mum to the kids. But she's living my life and it just doesn't seem fair.

I feel like I've wasted precious time on my recent ex too, which is frustrating. But you live and learn, I suppose!

Haha, they're not sissy's, and they're not always around, either! 🙈