Concerned about your child's communication, learning or development? Signs it may be time to seek further assessment

The summer holidays often bring a welcome change of pace, but they can also make it easier to notice how your child responds to everyday situations outside the structure of school.

Perhaps you've noticed your child struggling with changes to routine, becoming overwhelmed during family days out, finding social situations difficult or seeming more emotionally exhausted than usual.

Dr Kieran Lord, Clinical Director at Momenta Connect and a Clinical and Educational Psychologist, explains: “A sudden loss of the highly structured, predictable school environment can remove the ‘scaffolding’ that helps many neurodivergent children navigate their day. Without external routines, underlying difficulties with executive functioning (planning, initiating tasks, self-regulation) may become more visible. Children who may have ‘masked’ or suppressed for months at school often release built-up tension once they are in their safe home environment.”

Noticing these signs doesn't automatically mean your child has a specific diagnosis. Children develop differently and can experience difficulties for many reasons. However, recognising patterns and knowing when to seek advice can help you access the right support.

Signs your child may be struggling with sensory, social or emotional demands

According to the Department for Education, a child's experience of learning is shaped by more than just academic ability. Communication, emotional wellbeing, sensory experiences and confidence in different situations can all play a role in how they engage with learning and school life. This is one reason why challenges can sometimes become more noticeable outside the classroom, particularly during less structured periods such as the school holidays.

Dr Lord explains that some children may appear to cope well in the moment but struggle once the activity is over. “Parents might notice a ‘boom and bust’ cycle: their child might manage a family outing but completely withdraw, become highly irritable, or have a meltdown immediately afterwards.”

Other key patterns to look out for include:

• Rigidity regarding plans

• Covering their ears or avoiding bright environments

• Refusing clothes or foods

• Finding unstructured socialising with family and friends challenging rather than enjoyable.

Mumsnet user, firstofallimadelight, shares their experience of how busy environments can become overwhelming: “DS is 10, struggles with busy places. We played mini golf today and unfortunately it was busy (should have known!) so there were a couple of meltdowns.”

An isolated incident doesn't necessarily indicate a wider concern. However, if you notice similar patterns repeatedly affecting your child's daily life, relationships or ability to take part in activities, it may be worth seeking support. 

How signs can change with age

Children’s needs and challenges can change as they grow. Some signs may be noticeable in early childhood, while others become clearer as expectations around learning, independence, communication and social interaction increase.

The NHS advises that children develop at different rates, but if you have concerns about your child’s development, it’s important to seek advice and support.

Preschool children

For younger children, parents may notice differences in communication, play, sensory experiences or how they respond to changes.

Dr Lord highlights possible signs including:

• Delayed speech

• A lack of pointing to share interest (joint attention)

• Highly repetitive play, such as lining up toys or spinning wheels

• Unusual attachments to objects

• Unusual distress over everyday noises or transitions.

Four-year-olds

As children approach school age, increasing expectations around independence and following instructions may make some challenges more noticeable.

Dr Lord highlights:

• Extreme distress during transitions

• Delayed or highly repetitive play

• Intense sensory aversions, such as difficulty with tags, seams or noises

• Difficulty following multi-step instructions.

Primary-school children

Starting school brings increased academic, social and emotional demands. Some children may appear to cope during the school day but find it harder to manage once they are home.

Dr Lord describes the ‘coke bottle effect,’ which can look like:

• Holding it together at school or during outings, then releasing built-up emotions afterwards

• Increased distress around transitions or unstructured times

• Emerging difficulties making or keeping friends.

Teenagers and young people preparing for sixth form or college

As children get older, some signs may become less obvious because young people can develop strategies to manage or hide their difficulties. It’s also important to remember that wanting more time alone is a normal part of adolescence. However, increased isolation alongside changes in everyday functioning may suggest that your child needs additional support.

Dr Lord explains that parents may notice:

• Intense social anxiety or withdrawal

• Exhaustion from the social demands of peer groups and school

• Masking leading to burnout (trying to hide difficulties or adapt to expectations, which can become exhausting)

• Deep, hyper-focused interests.

He adds that parents should also look out for significant changes such as shifts in sleep patterns, losing interest in previously enjoyed hobbies, changes in eating habits, or difficulty managing basic daily hygiene or everyday tasks.

For young people preparing for sixth form or college, the increased expectation of independent study and self-directed organisation can also highlight challenges with planning, prioritising and managing workload, which may lead to feelings of overwhelm, procrastination or anxiety.

Meltdowns, overwhelm and emotional exhaustion: what they could mean

When a child becomes overwhelmed, it can be easy to focus on the behaviour itself. However, as Dr Lord explains, “It helps to reframe meltdowns not as ‘bad behaviour,’ but as a central nervous system response to overload.”

For parents trying to understand what may be driving these responses, Dr Lord suggests reflecting on what happened before, during and after the situation:

• Was the environment too loud or crowded?

• Were there unexpected changes to the plan?

• Was the child already socially exhausted before the activity even began?

He explains: “Identifying these triggers helps shift the focus from punishment to proactive support.”

Why changes in routine can feel overwhelming for some children

For many children, routines provide a sense of predictability and security. Changes that may feel small to adults - such as a different plan for the day, a new environment or an unexpected transition - can feel much more significant for children who rely on routine to feel regulated.

The summer holidays can be particularly challenging for children who find change, uncertainty or transitions difficult. With fewer fixed routines, more social activities and more changes from day to day, some children may need extra support to feel settled.

Dr Lord explains: “High anxiety in these scenarios often points to a heightened need for predictability and a lower tolerance for change and uncertainty. For many neurodivergent children, the world feels chaotic and unpredictable. Clear and known routines and familiar places act as anchors that create a sense of safety. Extreme distress over changes in routine is often a sign that their brain needs clarity and predictability to regulate effectively.”

Mumsnet user, UniversalTruth shared how school holidays can be difficult for their child: “School holidays are especially difficult for my son (age 8) who has ASD with elements of ADHD and finds any emotion or transition very hard to deal with. When he is in a “hot” period, he is easily set off […].” 

When should you seek further assessment for your child?

It's normal for children to have difficult days or struggle with changes in routine, particularly during the school holidays. However, if these patterns persist and begin to affect your child's everyday life, relationships or ability to take part in activities, it may be worth seeking further advice.

Dr Lord explains: “Occasional tantrums or boredom are common. However, if a child is experiencing daily distress, avoiding activities they used to enjoy, struggling to sleep or eat, or if the family is entirely walking on eggshells to prevent meltdowns, and these are affecting their overall functioning, it might suggest an exploratory conversation with the school, GP, or neurodiversity assessment service would be useful.”

Support might include adjustments at school, targeted support or a neurodiversity assessment service, such as Momenta Connect. 

What happens during an assessment?

If you decide to explore a formal assessment, the process will depend on what you are looking to understand and the type of support your child may need.

While different assessments focus on different areas, the aim is usually to build a fuller picture of your child’s experiences, including how they learn, communicate, interact with others and manage everyday situations at home and school.

This often involves gathering information from different perspectives, including parents or carers, the child or young person, and where appropriate, school staff or other professionals.

Depending on the type of assessment, this may include:

• A developmental history with parents or carers

• Questionnaires, reports or information from school and other professionals

• Conversations or interviews with the child or young person

• Structured observations or activities

• Recognised assessment tools, where appropriate.

At Momenta Connect, a multidisciplinary team works together to understand each child’s strengths, challenges and support needs, helping families make informed decisions about next steps, for example:

• ADHD assessments may include a developmental history, a review of school and health information, a diagnostic interview with the child or young person, and a discussion about recommendations and next steps.

• Autism assessments may include a developmental history, structured observations and recognised tools such as ADOS-2 or ADI-R (assessments that help clinicians understand social communication, interaction and patterns of behaviour), alongside a clinical discussion. Please note that Momenta Connect does not offer a prescribing service.

• Educational psychology assessments focus on how a child learns, exploring areas such as reasoning, memory, processing speed and skills linked to reading, writing and numeracy.

• Speech and language assessments may explore communication, understanding, speech sounds, attention, social interaction and play skills.

Following an assessment, families receive feedback and recommendations to help guide next steps. This may include strategies to support learning, communication, emotional regulation or adjustments that could help at home or in education settings.

How to rebuild routines and prepare your child before the new school term

Returning to school after a long break can be a big adjustment, particularly for children who find changes in routine or uncertainty difficult. Gradually rebuilding familiar routines can help make the transition feel more manageable.

Dr Lord recommends beginning to rebuild familiar routines in advance: “Where possible, begin gently shifting routines at least 7 to 14 days before term starts, focusing primarily on gradually moving sleep and wake times back to the term-time schedule.”

He adds: “Rebuild routine through non-school activities (e.g., having lunch at the time school lunch happens). Keep the focus on predictability rather than academic pressure, using visual calendars to countdown the days without making it the sole topic of conversation.”

Practical ways to help your child prepare for school

New teachers, classrooms and routines can feel overwhelming after the summer break. Making these changes feel more familiar can help reduce uncertainty.

Dr Lord says: “One of the best strategies is to remove the unknowns. Where possible, request photos of the new classroom and/or teacher or map out the timetable together. Rehearse the journey to school during quiet times.”

“For sensory needs, wash any new uniforms to soften the fabric, try them and any new shoes on during the break, and make them feel familiar,” he adds.

Other helpful preparations include:

• Creating a simple visual plan for the first few days back

• Practising any changes to the usual routine, such as a new journey or classroom

• Making time for rest and downtime

• Sharing important information or concerns with school before term starts.

What your child's school should know before term starts

Sharing information with school before the new term begins can help staff understand your child’s needs and provide support from the outset.

Dr Lord suggests creating a simple ‘About me’ profile that includes:

• Your child’s strengths and interests

• Things they may find difficult

• Known triggers

• Strategies that help them feel calm and supported

• Any changes you have noticed over the summer.

Depending on your child’s needs, reasonable adjustments may include:

• Access to a quiet space if they feel overwhelmed

• A clear visual timetable provided each morning

• A designated trusted adult for regular check-ins throughout the day

• Flexibility around sensory needs, including a relaxed school uniform policy, where appropriate.

Working together with your child’s school can help ensure support is put in place proactively, rather than waiting until difficulties become more challenging. The SEND Code of Practice highlights the importance of involving parents and carers in decisions about support and making reasonable adjustments to help children and young people with special educational needs or disabilities access education. 

About the expert

Dr Kieran Lord is Clinical Director at Momenta Connect, a provider of tailored clinical and educational support services for children.

As a Clinical and Educational Psychologist, he advocates for trauma-informed, autism-responsive practice, working to help children with unmet needs reconnect with learning. He works across clinical, educational and diagnostic services to bridge the gap between schools, local authorities and families.

About Momenta Connect

"Momenta Connect provides private autism and ADHD assessments for children and young people across the UK, helping families better understand their child's needs and access the right support.

We know that recognising the signs of autism or ADHD isn't always straightforward. Some children mask their difficulties, while others may be struggling in ways that are easily misunderstood. A timely assessment can provide clarity, helping families and schools make informed decisions about the support a child needs.

Our multidisciplinary team includes experienced clinicians who carry out comprehensive, evidence-based assessments and provide clear recommendations tailored to each child. We also offer therapeutic and educational support where further intervention is needed."