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Useful information and links for people dealing with narcissistic or difficult ex partners.

(18 Posts)
Lilacpink40 Thu 29-Dec-16 19:41:24

There is a parallel thread for discussing and venting about ex's selfish and controlling behaviour.

This post is hopefully for sharing concise practical advice on surving a stressful ex, such as hyperlinks to informative literature and websites or positive thoughts and images.

No hard and fast rules, fine to vent anywhere you need to, but you may find more responses on other thread.

NB.
Anyone should feel free to post and no idea is wrong
WN= Wank Narc

Lilacpink40 Thu 29-Dec-16 19:43:51

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lilacpink40 Thu 29-Dec-16 19:44:51

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2803565-Support-thread-for-those-of-us-having-to-co-parent-with-a-narc-or-very-difficult-exh-thread-4

2012PP Thu 29-Dec-16 21:18:09

outofthefog.website/what-to-do-2/2015/12/3/the-3-cs-rule

On The other thread, I was recommended this website OUT OF THE FOG.
Ive found it brilliant.

NewStartNow Fri 30-Dec-16 07:59:22

www.abuseandrelationships.org/Content/Basics/escalation.html

NewStartNow Fri 30-Dec-16 08:03:31

Found this very enlightening too.

NewStartNow Fri 30-Dec-16 08:05:47

youarenotcrazy.com

Difficult to navigate but worth it.

jeaux90 Fri 30-Dec-16 08:36:11

Here's my advice after leaving the narc ex 6 years ago.
Very limited contact.
None if you can
All legal stuff though solicitor
Never respond to anything emotional
Never respond to anything unless it's about child access arrangements
Know that they are hollow shells of beings with no sense of consequence or empathy and they will never see their behaviour is bad
You will never ever get the truth so don't bother trying

nicenewdusters Fri 30-Dec-16 16:50:55

Couldn't agree more jeaux90 Takes a while to get to that point, but it's the only destination that allows you to move on with your life.

jeaux90 Fri 30-Dec-16 17:51:51

Nice, amen to that. Takes a while. I think it's because as a decent person you want to believe that no one can be that utterly devoid of any sense of decency. Once you accept that you are half way to recovery.

Lilacpink40 Fri 30-Dec-16 19:10:52

Great to see posts so far 😀
I recommend two books:
Living with the passive agressive man. Good general introduction with examples, if you've ever faced quiet aggression and felt extreme guilt.
www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/0671870742/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1483124055&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=living+with+the+passive-aggressive+man&dpPl=1&dpID=51xeHKy16ML&ref=plSrch

The Path Forward Surviving the Narcissist.
www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/0985832703/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1483124322&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=the+path+forward+surviving+the+narcissist&dpPl=1&dpID=519hB7cCtyL&ref=plSrch
Chapters are in a pathway and inspirational to read:
1) Understand it
2) Get it out (talk about it)
3) No contact
4) Get real (for truth)
5) Wake up (find yourself)
6) Heal (live in the moment)

greencarbluecar Sat 31-Dec-16 09:54:47

Thanks for the thread lilac

Definitely second out of the fog

Freedom Programme www.freedomprogramme.co.uk

Living with the dominator book (based on Freedom Programme) www.amazon.co.uk/d/Books/Living-Dominator-Pat-Craven/1477410597

Lundy Bancroft book www.amazon.co.uk/d/cka/Why-Does-He-Do-That-Inside-Controlling/0425191656

Parallel parenting outofthefog.website/separating-divorcing/2015/12/6/parallel-parenting this was a lightbulb moment for me!

greencarbluecar Mon 02-Jan-17 18:26:04

Gray rock method www.thriveafterabuse.com/going-gray-rock/

Lilacpink40 Thu 16-Feb-17 22:24:21

www.familymediationcouncil.org.uk/family-mediation/assessment-meeting-miam/
Family mediation before court link.

RedastheRose Sun 26-Feb-17 17:45:07

freedomfromnarcissisticandemotionalabuse.weebly.com/blog/minimizing-a-form-of-control#.WLL3m55S7nM.facebook

Lilacpink40 Wed 01-Mar-17 13:36:20

Useful link from parallel thread from Biblio on difficulty leaving negative relationship
www.npr.org/2015/02/13/385948508/how-sunk-cost-fallacy-applies-to-love

theoracleofdelphi Sat 11-Mar-17 14:01:02

"Here's my advice after leaving the narc ex 6 years ago.
Very limited contact.
None if you can
All legal stuff though solicitor
Never respond to anything emotional
Never respond to anything unless it's about child access arrangements
Know that they are hollow shells of beings with no sense of consequence or empathy and they will never see their behaviour is bad
You will never ever get the truth so don't bother trying"
Awesome advice Jeaux

AnnettePrice Sat 11-Mar-17 16:17:31

I found this enlightening.

psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2010/03/29/narcissists-who-cry-the-other-side-of-the-ego/

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