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Dating and sex! When, should you, shouldn't you extra?

(8 Posts)
lightswitchedoff Sat 17-Dec-16 14:24:16

Ok so I'm out in the world of dating and currently haven't got as far as sex yet.

Usually I treat first date as a meet, couple of hours get to know a bit etc.

2nd date usually something a little more baby meal drink etc

And guess third etc follows the same.

Now I'm online dating and totally understand people are talking/ possibly dating others but what do you do when it comes to sex?

I only intend to have sex with someone when I'm ready but wouldn't like to think they may also be dating/having sex with others

I'm totally honest with my dates and tell them what I'm looking for (dating with view of relationship) not into casual sex

So what's the way to go with sex, do you just have sex when your ready regardless if they are still online/dating others or do you have a convo first about being more exclusive?

WynterBlossom Sat 17-Dec-16 15:18:33

Hey Op,

It solely depends on what you are looking for, as you are looking to date with a view of a relationship, is discuss the whole subject of sex with him although if a guy is after the same thing as you then I'd like to think he'd be decent enough to not want to sleep with anyone else whilst getting to know you.

ALaughAMinute Sat 17-Dec-16 15:37:35

I think if you're looking for a relationship rather than casual sex it might be prudent to wait a while before you have sex. Sadly there are too many stories of men and women getting what they want sexually and then moving on to their next conquest which often results in one party feeling used and rejected and left in the dark as to why they were dumped.

I'd say an eighth date might be a good rule before you get physical but then of course you have to feel ready and that you can trust them if you're looking for a relationship. Most guys that just want sex probably wouldn't wait much longer than the third date from what I've read online/heard so if they disappear that's probably a good thing in your case.

ALaughAMinute Sat 17-Dec-16 15:43:54

Meant to say that you could have a convo first about whether or not you are exclusive but personally I would find that a bit demeaning and would rather rely on my instincts. It's a jungle out there. Good luck.

Princesspinkgirl Sat 17-Dec-16 18:29:22

If you are wanting a relationship rather than just sex then hold out till you feel ready I actually met my other half on a site and we did have sex on the first evening but we both wanted to and was happy we are still together now fsmile

Gorgeoussunset Sat 17-Dec-16 18:39:50

I don't think necessarily having sex early on reduces the chances of a relationship happening. I have a pretty high sex drive and have slept with men on the first date, some of whom I have gone on to have relationships with. To be perfectly frank I want to know what I am "in for" sexually sooner rather than later and I don't expect to be judged for that.

PinkiePiesCupcakes Sat 17-Dec-16 19:05:44

For me there would have to be exclusivity first.
I couldn't have a sexual relationship with a woman unless I had feelings for her and those feelings would mean I'd want her to feel the same way. Does that make sense? grin

TheNaze73 Sat 17-Dec-16 19:06:23

I agree with gorgeous.

Waiting for the sake of waiting can kill all the tension & natural progression doesn't happen & the moment is lost.

Sex is readily & easily accessible to both sexes these days, so if people are just after that, they'll soon lose interest anyway.

Good luck & go for it, when you're ready. Just be aware that he may not be ready straight away. He will be really but, may try to make you work harder for it.

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