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(Another) dtd thread with poss tmi (you have been warned)

(30 Posts)
sunnoshine Wed 10-Jul-13 14:37:43

Hi all, have name changed for reasons which will be obvious...

I have a wonderful DP, we have been v happy in all parts of our relationship for yonks, including in the sack. Like most people, this ebbs and flows depending in DC, tiredness etc etc. Mostly though, it?s all good and all within (what I imagine) the usual bounds.

Recently though whilst DTD and in pre DTD fun, he seems to want me to (and having struggled, I can?t come up with a better ways of putting this) put my finger where the sun don?t shine. blush

This is only sometimes, not always by any means. I guess my question might be, how ?normal? is this, and might it lead on to other things?
Whilst this wouldn?t by my cup of tea, if you see what I mean, I want to make him happy in the sack (as he does me) and am 100% confident in his ?straightness?. It just seems a bit ? out there ? is it?

He would let it lie if it was something I didn?t want to do, and I guess within the bounds of hygiene I wouldn?t have major objections. It just seems odd to me. hmm

Imnotscareditsonlytheinternet Wed 10-Jul-13 14:46:00

Its perfectly normal for a bloke to want that. There are a lot of 'zones' up there that men enjoy being touched. IMO its good that he has told you that he likes it because a lot of men darent for fear of appearing 'gay'

Personally I love doing that to blokes because I can see exactly how much pleasure it brings.

CogitoErgoSometimes Wed 10-Jul-13 15:10:11

Yep. Normal.

eccentrica Wed 10-Jul-13 15:14:36

Normal but I don't think I could do it, not without gloves on at least boak

FairyThunderthighs Wed 10-Jul-13 15:22:48

Some men like it, and it is mentioned in men's magazines sex tips. It's "normal" for want of a better word.

However, if you don't feel comfortable with it, you don't have to do it just because he's asked you to.

sunnoshine Wed 10-Jul-13 15:44:29

Thanks ladies, think many of you are a bit more worldly than me, esp you imnotscared.

He hasn't really asked me as such Fairy, more nudged my hand in that direction. I'm pretty sure that we are not having a (possibly disatstrous) misunderstanding though grin.

He would never want me to do anything I didn't want to do, and I have a kind of 'alls fair in love and war' type attitude. Just that this one was new to me. Still, rather him than me!

Righto, I'm reassured; antibacterial handwash and clipped nails for me!

Imnotscareditsonlytheinternet Wed 10-Jul-13 16:02:12

Right if you really want to go TMI, if it grosses you out re 'poo' then get him to prepare!

Anal douche and a really good wash, he should be clean enough for nothing to end up on your fingers and if hes not prepared to do that then dont do it! he should be actually clean enough for you to kiss and lick him there to be honest (if you can go that far I promise he will be putty in your hands!)

If it bothers you loads about fingers then get a butt plug wink

(but that means a conversation at least!)

(and yes def clip your nails! ouch!)

Imnotscareditsonlytheinternet Wed 10-Jul-13 16:03:41

Oh and sunnoshine, dont knock it until you have tried it wink

(forgot to mention get plenty of lube as well)

nemno Wed 10-Jul-13 16:06:01

Yes, normal smile

nickymanchester Wed 10-Jul-13 16:07:25

As others have said, totally non-gay. I don't like anal done on me, but DH does like it done to him and he is SO not gay.

On a practical note, you may wish to google "male G spot" or ''prostate massage'' for some ideas. Here is something from Cosmo on it:-

If you're feeling a bit icky about using your finger due to cleanliness issues etc then you may wish to use a disposable glove or get him to douche beforehand:-

Or alternatively, there are dildos specially designed for the job:-

You've got to love Lovehoney, they even do videos showing you how to use the products:-

Jan45 Wed 10-Jul-13 16:31:41

Normal, we all have our thing we like, this is his, I know what you mean though, I would feel a bit icky about this too but then you would probably feel icky about the other things I do lol.

Having said that, no point in doing anything you are not going to enjoy too.

sunnoshine Wed 10-Jul-13 16:36:16

Wow, thanks all. flowers

Jan, am conflicted, but can't help being intrigued wink

Jan45 Wed 10-Jul-13 17:01:53

Sunnoshine: go for it, try it, see what you think and come back and tell us lol!

AnythingNotEverything Wed 10-Jul-13 17:13:13

As others have said, totally normal. Also, he might not want you to actually insert - the area around, and leading up to said area can be highly sensitive.

Next time you're nearly there, why not ask him? If he's nudging you in that direction he should be happy to tell you.

Oh, and standard disclaimer that you don't have to do anything you don't feel comfortable with etc.

sunnoshine Wed 10-Jul-13 17:13:19

A couple of glasses of wine for courage and I might just do that Jan!

Although it was the refence to the 'other things you do' that had me intrigued about your previous post...

Jan45 Wed 10-Jul-13 17:49:05

sunnoshine: I feared that, haha. I aint telling ye!

EhricLovesTeamQhuay Wed 10-Jul-13 18:42:42

You can always put your finger in a condom before you do it if you are worried about hygiene. Personally I wouldn't do it, but that's just my preference.

Imnotscareditsonlytheinternet Thu 11-Jul-13 09:09:55

Using gloves or condoms will spoil the mood IMO !

If you cant do it without then I wouldnt bother smile

sunnoshine Thu 11-Jul-13 11:09:47

Advice much appreciated, esp by DP who thought it was his birthday last night. blush

He was a little confused about why he had to have a shower at 11!

If you want to know, was all over remarkably quickly – something that’ll come in v handy for the future when I’m in a rush. I am now officially a ‘sex goddess’. wink

Imnotscareditsonlytheinternet Thu 11-Jul-13 11:45:52

Welcome to the club sunnoshine wink how fab did you feel when he was under your complete control and loving every second of it !!

sunnoshine Thu 11-Jul-13 11:50:50

Ha, pretty fab tbh Imnot... As always, it was very much reciprocal. Erm, although not not exactly!

Looking back at your advice, I think you may be DPs dream woman!!!

Imnotscareditsonlytheinternet Thu 11-Jul-13 12:01:15

YOU can be his dream woman !

Get him to do it back to you wink you never know you might like it!

Jan45 Thu 11-Jul-13 12:08:23

Good stuff haha.

eslteacher Thu 11-Jul-13 12:15:10

Heh, I remember an episode of Sex and the City where this is discussed. The idea seemed to be that most men liked having it done to them, but didn't want to admit it!

sunnoshine Thu 11-Jul-13 13:12:22

Riverboat, I am coming to realise that SITC was right again. As long as the men don't start wanting to use our toys though wink

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