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Pregnant After Loss and Dreaming of Rainbows - 4

(254 Posts)
Avocuddles Sat 16-May-20 10:39:13

Thread 4 already! New members very welcome to our friendly and supportive team.

Latest roll call....

@Bellsx. 26wks (due 20/08/20)⁣
@Rachael321 26wks (due 20/08/20)⁣
@Pugmum19 18wks (due 31/08/20)⁣
@UrsulaSings 17wks (due 07/09/20)⁣
@Hoping2020 19wks (due 13/09/20)⁣
@SammiLou2312 22wks⁣ (due 17/09/20)⁣
@Knotemma 21 wks⁣ (due 23/09/20)⁣
@LilMrsS 20wks (due 24/09/20)⁣
@didslysquiddlydoo 20wks 26/09/20)⁣
@TunnocksTcake 19wks (due 26/09/20)⁣
@avocuddles 20wks (due 27/09/20)⁣
@Sunflower1608 20wks with twins (due 28/09/20)⁣
@SunStruck 19wks (due 28/09/20)⁣⁣
@Scout20 19wks (due 29/09/20)⁣
@Littlegoth 20wks (due 30/09/20)⁣
@HighHopes20 16wks (due 03/10/20)⁣⁣
@Treaclepie19 18wks (due 07/10/20)⁣⁣
@Aria2015 10wks⁣
@tmc14 17wks (due 11/10/20)⁣
@Hagster 17wks (due 12/10/20)⁣⁣
@seaduck 12wks (due 17/10/20)⁣
@DressingGown87 13wks (due 20/10/20)⁣
@rachelrainbow 11wks (due 1/11/20)⁣
@teaandtantrums90 13wks (due 05/11/20)⁣
@AnxiousLady1 14wks (due 07/11/20)⁣
@Shefliesonherownwings 13wks (due 09/11/20)⁣
@MysteriousSheep 12wks (due 21/11/20)
@Whiffle77 11wks (due 04/12/20)⁣
@MOGMOGMOG85 10wks (due 09/12/20)

Treaclepie19 Sat 16-May-20 11:42:46

Thanks for the new thread 😊 Just hopping on to say hi.

MrsMGE Sat 16-May-20 11:47:06

Just saying hello, I've not been active recently because anxiety has taken over. But I'm still here, nearly 10 weeks and sending positive thoughts to all xxx

AnxiousLady1 Sat 16-May-20 12:06:24

Thanks for setting up thread number 4 @Avocuddles!

Hope you're doing okay @MrsMGE xxx

MrsMGE Sat 16-May-20 12:11:29

Thank you @AnxiousLady1, I had a few wobbles but on the up now, although feeling awful today, I was nearly sick in the car this morning. Bad idea to leave the house without breakfast, even for 10 mins! I learnt my lesson! I'm hoping to be back after my scan with some good news. I hope you're doing well, lovely 💐 Virtual hugs, I'm thinking of you and all the ladies on here ❤️ xxx

Littlegoth Sat 16-May-20 12:53:59

Thanks for the new thread! X

Knotemma Sat 16-May-20 13:57:00

Thanks for setting the new thread up @Avocuddles

Sorry to hear you've been struggling @MrsMGE, sending you sticky bean dust and postive thoughts

MrsMGE Sat 16-May-20 14:10:33

Thank you @Knotemma, I'm hanging in there, hopefully some good news soon ❤️ Hope you're feeling well xxx

tmc14 Sat 16-May-20 14:18:41

Thanks for the new thread @Avocuddles

I see I've missed lots on the end of the last thread... haven't had much of a chance this week to catch up.

Congratulations to those who had positive scans.

@Hagster - I really expected my anxiety to drop after the 12 week scan, but if anything I think it's getting worse. I think, in my head, there is more to lose the more time that passes. I'm trying to keep on top of it and not let it get too bad, but then I feel like I'm ignoring the pregnancy and not engaging enough. It's very hard to find a balance. I realise that's not helpful and I don't have any advice for you. Just know you're not alone! When if your scan again? Mine is next Saturday...

@MrsMGE Hope the anxiety calms down a bit for you. Good luck for the scan. x

Hope everyone else is doing ok. xxx

Hagster Sat 16-May-20 14:25:30

Thanks @tmc14, I know exactly what you mean about it feeling like more to lose the longer you go on, and trying to balance bonding with protecting yourself. It does help to not be alone! Mine is 29th May - feels aaaages away!

tmc14 Sat 16-May-20 14:32:52

@Hagster That is a long time to wait! Seems so mean when they put it at the later end of the scale.

Seems ridiculous but is anyone getting stressed about giving birth yet? As I'm 40 and had a traumatic birth with DS, I'm consultant led, and they are pushing for me to have an induction so she's out by 40 weeks, but I was told when DS was born that I could have an elective section next time if I wanted. I don't know which one sounds worse to be honest, but I've been reading loads and neither sounds ideal! Family history means I'm very unlikely to go into labour naturally in time to avoid either option. I've got a lot of questions for the consultant at my next appointment in 6ish weeks... but I just can't seem to think of anything else. Is it just me?

DressingGown87 Sat 16-May-20 15:13:53

Hey everyone! Sorry I’ve been quiet and not had chance to catch up on the last thread. Found out I’m having a girl! My anxiety hasn’t got much better, but trying to stay positive.

@tmc14 yes this is playing on my mind. I’ve been advised that I’m on growth scans from 24weeks, as they think I will have complications in later pregnancy and a low birth weight. Told to prepare for csection from 34weeks, and as I live alone, to Spend some time on a mother and baby unit! Which is just stressing me out. I would say write down your questions, and do what you would feel Most comfortable with.

tmc14 Sat 16-May-20 15:24:26

@DressingGown87 Ah, congratulations on good scans and finding out the sex.

I'm writing my questions (there are a lot!) mainly about my hospitals procedures. I think I'm getting stressed as either option involves more time in hospital than I would like, as I also have a two year old at home, and I've never been away from him for more than a few hours. He'll be fine of course, but I think it will affect him, especially at night/early morning when I'm not there. And I can't imagine going more than 24 hours without seeing him, and although it's a way off, I think visitor restrictions will be in place still.

A mother and baby unit will be strange, but I think, if you want to breastfeed, it will be great to have constant support for that if needed. And presumably you'll have someone/people to bring you supplies (I'm imagining the food/snacks will need topping up!)

tmc14 Sat 16-May-20 16:01:49

Since I'm at my laptop (and I can't update on my phone), I'm preemptively updating my weeks for tomorrow. 19 and counting! Still feels very unreal.

@Bellsx. 26wks (due 20/08/20)⁣
@Rachael321 26wks (due 20/08/20)⁣
@Pugmum19 18wks (due 31/08/20)⁣
@UrsulaSings 17wks (due 07/09/20)⁣
@Hoping2020 19wks (due 13/09/20)⁣
@SammiLou2312 22wks⁣ (due 17/09/20)⁣
@Knotemma 21 wks⁣ (due 23/09/20)⁣
@LilMrsS 20wks (due 24/09/20)⁣
@didslysquiddlydoo 20wks 26/09/20)⁣
@TunnocksTcake 19wks (due 26/09/20)⁣
@avocuddles 20wks (due 27/09/20)⁣
@Sunflower1608 20wks with twins (due 28/09/20)⁣
@SunStruck 19wks (due 28/09/20)⁣⁣
@Scout20 19wks (due 29/09/20)⁣
@Littlegoth 20wks (due 30/09/20)⁣
@HighHopes20 16wks (due 03/10/20)⁣⁣
@Treaclepie19 18wks (due 07/10/20)⁣⁣
@Aria2015 10wks⁣
@tmc14 19wks (due 11/10/20)⁣
@Hagster 17wks (due 12/10/20)⁣⁣
@seaduck 12wks (due 17/10/20)⁣
@DressingGown87 13wks (due 20/10/20)⁣
@rachelrainbow 11wks (due 1/11/20)⁣
@teaandtantrums90 13wks (due 05/11/20)⁣
@AnxiousLady1 14wks (due 07/11/20)⁣
@Shefliesonherownwings 13wks (due 09/11/20)⁣
@MysteriousSheep 12wks (due 21/11/20)
@Whiffle77 11wks (due 04/12/20)⁣
@MOGMOGMOG85 10wks (due 09/12/20)

SunStruck Sat 16-May-20 17:05:05

@Littlegoth another team blue! 🥰🥰

@Hagster im sorry to hear that you feel worried and anxious, but I felt the same and I did definitely not feel movements of any kind until just a few days before my 20 week scan. Even then I didn't really know if they were movements or just gas! It's sooo subtle. But I'm nearing 21 weeks now and I feel it more and more (still subtle at times but I've felt it quite strongly very late at night sometimes so I know this must be it. It's probably because you're so still when you're in bed trying to get to sleep!). I'm sure all is well with baby 😄

@MrsMGE Good to see you again ❤️ 10 weeks!!! Not long to go now 😄 glad to hear that you have symptoms, just hang in there! One day at a time. Thinking of you and wishing you all the luck for the scan!

We went pram shopping today! They didn't have what we wanted in stock (but they had the show models) so we have placed an order on an entire travelsystem with car seat included. It could take up to 2 months before we get it so it's good we went now! I'm glad to have this big purchase out of the way 😅😅

MrsMGE Sat 16-May-20 17:30:06

Thanks girls @tmc14 *@SunStruck*. I'm sorry to hear you're still anxious *@tmc14*, I suspect I'll be feeling very similar later on. Anxiety sucks! I am happy I'm pregnant but I don't enjoy it, I think it's forever more difficult for us now. I wish I only had the usual worries and reasons to moan about in pregnancy. Some women don't know how lucky they are. The only thing I can say is that you're not alone, there's a lot of us going through that at the same time as you, and these worries will pass. It's a temporary stage (albeit a rather lengthy one!).

@SunStruck Which pram are you going for? Just of curiosity, are you thinking about something nippy and easy to navigate or more solid, eg to do a bit of sport with? I guess the latter might be for when your son is a tad older (but I know nothing about prams!!). I'll be asking all of you for advice later hopefully!

I had my booking appointment and was told I'll be consultant-led due to DH's heart defect (it's never been a cause of concern for him, but it's congenital and potentially hereditary). This gave me peace of mind but I then started to worry what if the baby has it too and it's not mild? What if this is the reason for my miscarriages? I don't know and I try not to think about it, this is the reason why my anxiety spiked recently. My scan is at 13 weeks, on my request as I'm certain I ovulated and implanted later. Just over 3 weeks to go. I'm having a home spa afternoon to chill out today and not think about things too much Xxx

rachelrainbow Sat 16-May-20 17:43:46

Updating😊

@Bellsx. 26wks (due 20/08/20)⁣
@Rachael321 26wks (due 20/08/20)⁣
@Pugmum19 18wks (due 31/08/20)⁣
@UrsulaSings 17wks (due 07/09/20)⁣
@Hoping2020 19wks (due 13/09/20)⁣
@SammiLou2312 22wks⁣ (due 17/09/20)⁣
@Knotemma 21 wks⁣ (due 23/09/20)⁣
@LilMrsS 20wks (due 24/09/20)⁣
@didslysquiddlydoo 20wks 26/09/20)⁣
@TunnocksTcake 19wks (due 26/09/20)⁣
@avocuddles 20wks (due 27/09/20)⁣
@Sunflower1608 20wks with twins (due 28/09/20)⁣
@SunStruck 19wks (due 28/09/20)⁣⁣
@Scout20 19wks (due 29/09/20)⁣
@Littlegoth 20wks (due 30/09/20)⁣
@HighHopes20 16wks (due 03/10/20)⁣⁣
@Treaclepie19 18wks (due 07/10/20)⁣⁣
@Aria2015 10wks⁣
@tmc14 19wks (due 11/10/20)⁣
@Hagster 17wks (due 12/10/20)⁣⁣
@seaduck 12wks (due 17/10/20)⁣
@DressingGown87 13wks (due 20/10/20)⁣
@rachelrainbow 16wks (due 26/10/20)⁣
@teaandtantrums90 13wks (due 05/11/20)⁣
@AnxiousLady1 14wks (due 07/11/20)⁣
@Shefliesonherownwings 13wks (due 09/11/20)⁣
@MysteriousSheep 12wks (due 21/11/20)
@Whiffle77 11wks (due 04/12/20)⁣
@MOGMOGMOG85 10wks (due 09/12/20)

TunnocksTcake Sat 16-May-20 17:49:07

Thanks for the new thread @avocuddles 😊
Congrats to the ladies who had a positive scan in the last few days, such a good week for us all 💕 sorry I haven't been on much, it was our anniversary and dhs birthday so feel like I've not left the kitchen between cake baking and special dinner making!

@hagster I didn't feel movement until 19 weeks but at that point it was still dubious, only since 20 weeks have I been feeling something every day but still no pattern to it and it's mostly movement not kicks or taps.

@sunstruck ive ordered my pram too 🙈 I really wasn't planning on it and wanted to see some in person but after panicking that they are taking ages to arrive at the moment I did lots of research and watched videos etc and there was only one that looked completely perfect for us (we are both v tall which is a big consideration!) and then I saw a deal for the full travel system and just went for it! And now it's due for delivery on Monday haha! We can always return it if it's wrong 🤷🏻‍♀️

Updating weeks, now 21 weeks - can't believe we are over halfway!

@Bellsx. 26wks (due 20/08/20)⁣
@Rachael321 26wks (due 20/08/20)⁣
@Pugmum19 18wks (due 31/08/20)⁣
@UrsulaSings 17wks (due 07/09/20)⁣
@Hoping2020 19wks (due 13/09/20)⁣
@SammiLou2312 22wks⁣ (due 17/09/20)⁣
@Knotemma 21 wks⁣ (due 23/09/20)⁣
@LilMrsS 20wks (due 24/09/20)⁣
@didslysquiddlydoo 20wks 26/09/20)⁣
@TunnocksTcake 21wks (due 26/09/20)⁣
@avocuddles 20wks (due 27/09/20)⁣
@Sunflower1608 20wks with twins (due 28/09/20)⁣
@SunStruck 19wks (due 28/09/20)⁣⁣
@Scout20 19wks (due 29/09/20)⁣
@Littlegoth 20wks (due 30/09/20)⁣
@HighHopes20 16wks (due 03/10/20)⁣⁣
@Treaclepie19 18wks (due 07/10/20)⁣⁣
@Aria2015 10wks⁣
@tmc14 19wks (due 11/10/20)⁣
@Hagster 17wks (due 12/10/20)⁣⁣
@seaduck 12wks (due 17/10/20)⁣
@DressingGown87 13wks (due 20/10/20)⁣
@rachelrainbow 11wks (due 1/11/20)⁣
@teaandtantrums90 13wks (due 05/11/20)⁣
@AnxiousLady1 14wks (due 07/11/20)⁣
@Shefliesonherownwings 13wks (due 09/11/20)⁣
@MysteriousSheep 12wks (due 21/11/20)
@Whiffle77 11wks (due 04/12/20)⁣
@MOGMOGMOG85 10wks (due 09/12/20)

didslysquiddlydoo Sat 16-May-20 18:35:14

Thanks for the new thread @avocuddles 🥰

Just quickly popping on to say that for anyone interested in the positive Birth Company digital pack, it has £10 at the moment but I think it's only for the weekend.

Avocuddles Sat 16-May-20 19:06:54

@MrsMGE glad you've checked in and understand your desire to possibly 'lay low' whilst anxiety is raging. Really hope you get the reassurance you need at the scan, not long to go now....
My DH also have a heart condition although not anything that would affect the baby. There's a history of heart problems in his family so it's more a case of telling her as she grows up to be mindful and careful, although they've always affected men as far as I'm aware. She also has my dodgy clotting genes to watch out for and they certainly make me very anxious, they may or may not have contributed to my miscarriages but at the end of the day I'm on all the medications I could be so there's not much else I can do. I'm having a lot of anxiety about my own health rather than that of the baby - every time I get a twinge or bruise in my legs I'm paranoid, which I guess is to be expected. Also had a nosebleed to contend with this morning, oh the joys of blood thinners....

@DressingGown87 awwww another girl, fantastic! There definitely seem to be more girls than boys that we know about so far.

@SunStruck your movements sound very similar to mine - I'm looking forward to when they become definite kicks but am definitely feeling far more of the subtle movements - in fact I think she's doing it right now.... Exciting re the pram purchase - what's it like? Do you have the same brands out there?

@TunnocksTcake I'm very short so you need to let me know which prams to avoid!

@didslysquiddlydoo thanks for sharing the positive birth company offer, can't go wrong at £10 so think I'll give it a go! I started reading the positive birth book yesterday but had to stop after a couple of chapters as anxiety set in and I started to feel that i shouldn't be reading it this early on. Read a bit more today and it's definitely a good, informative read even if some of it really won't be relevant to me with my consultant led birth.....

didslysquiddlydoo Sat 16-May-20 19:20:21

Sorry, I meant £10 off, so it's just £29 at the moment!

I got it when lockdown first happened and have banked it to do closer to the time - it looks good though from a quick browse!!

Well, officially 21 weeks and we have bit the bullet and well and truly started to buy things! We have bought the bedroom wardrobes and drawers, which will be delivered in a few weeks, and also bought a snuzpod and travel system which both got delivered today! Eek, it's scary that I'm letting myself believe I'm actually going to have my little baby in a few months, but tentatively excited now!!

SunStruck Sat 16-May-20 19:54:27

@MrsMGE home spa sounds lovely, yes try to not overthink it - Today you're pregnant! 3 weeks to go, I know it will feel very slow but you'll get there.

I went for the Uppababy Vista, it can transform into a double pram for when we (hopefully) have another. We can't wait too long as I'll be 37 a few weeks after I give birth, so hopefully not too many years in between the kids ... if we're that lucky!

Also helps it looks really good and stands quite tall so perfect for my tall DH 😄 also bought the backpack to fold the pram into (with wheels), perfect when traveling as we are planning to go back to the UK for Christmas this year (3 months old 👶)!

SunStruck Sat 16-May-20 20:01:31

@TunnocksTcake how exciting, what did you go for?! smile

@Avocuddles great you're also feeling more! Yes was so subtle in the beginning I just didn't think it was baby movements 😅 yes same brands out here (and few others), most of my friends and colleagues have the Bugaboo and they love it! We really wanted one you could transform into a double pram though, and I really like how sturdy the Uppababy is as well as easy to push and fold. Done so much research and it seems like a great pram. Attaching pics! We got this actual color. It's a blue melange, and I think it looks so good with the brown leather handle bar! We also bought the extenders to make carrycot and later on toddlerseat sit higher (for tall DH, and I'm also quite tall at 5'7). and the car seat is the same brand so clips on directly onto the frame.

SunStruck Sat 16-May-20 20:03:14

Forgot to say the carrycot is also approved for overnight sleeping which is great as we want to travel back to family when the baby is so small still.

SunStruck Sat 16-May-20 20:09:48

@DressingGown87 congrats on your little girl!!! ❤️

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