Pregnant After Loss and Dreaming of Rainbows - 4

[Avocuddles]

Thread 4 already! New members very welcome to our friendly and supportive team.

Latest roll call....


@Bellsx. 26wks (due 20/08/20)⁣
@Rachael321 26wks (due 20/08/20)⁣
@Pugmum19 18wks (due 31/08/20)⁣
@UrsulaSings 17wks (due 07/09/20)⁣
@Hoping2020 19wks (due 13/09/20)⁣
@SammiLou2312 22wks⁣ (due 17/09/20)⁣
@Knotemma 21 wks⁣ (due 23/09/20)⁣
@LilMrsS 20wks (due 24/09/20)⁣
@didslysquiddlydoo 20wks 26/09/20)⁣
@TunnocksTcake 19wks (due 26/09/20)⁣
@avocuddles 20wks (due 27/09/20)⁣
@Sunflower1608 20wks with twins (due 28/09/20)⁣
@SunStruck 19wks (due 28/09/20)⁣⁣
@Scout20 19wks (due 29/09/20)⁣
@Littlegoth 20wks (due 30/09/20)⁣
@HighHopes20 16wks (due 03/10/20)⁣⁣
@Treaclepie19 18wks (due 07/10/20)⁣⁣
@Aria2015 10wks⁣
@tmc14 17wks (due 11/10/20)⁣
@Hagster 17wks (due 12/10/20)⁣⁣
@seaduck 12wks (due 17/10/20)⁣
@DressingGown87 13wks (due 20/10/20)⁣
@rachelrainbow 11wks (due 1/11/20)⁣
@teaandtantrums90 13wks (due 05/11/20)⁣
@AnxiousLady1 14wks (due 07/11/20)⁣
@Shefliesonherownwings 13wks (due 09/11/20)⁣
@MysteriousSheep 12wks (due 21/11/20)
@Whiffle77 11wks (due 04/12/20)⁣
@MOGMOGMOG85 10wks (due 09/12/20)

[Knotemma]

Morning all, hope you're doing good and enjoying the sunshine.

@MrsMGE like you I'm not into "woo" and unfortunately all my pregnancy dreams have been nightmares, however I firmly believe that all of my babies are still with me. I read a wonderful book called life after baby loss, which talks about the fact that we have our children's DNA in our bloodstream, and that has always been a massive comfort to me.

@Treaclepie19 congratulations on 20 weeks!

Updating my weeks, all of a sudden it feels like time is flying!

@Bellsx 26wks (due 20/08/20)⁣
@Rachael321 26wks (due 20/08/20)⁣
@Pugmum19 18wks (due 31/08/20)⁣
@UrsulaSings 17wks (due 07/09/20)⁣
@Hoping2020 19wks (due 13/09/20)⁣
@SammiLou2312 22wks⁣ (due 17/09/20)⁣
@Knotemma 22 wks⁣ (due 23/09/20)⁣
@LilMrsS 21wks (due 24/09/20)⁣
@didslysquiddlydoo 21wks 26/09/20)⁣
@TunnocksTcake 21wks (due 26/09/20)⁣
@avocuddles 21wks (due 27/09/20)⁣
@Sunflower1608 20wks with twins (due 28/09/20)⁣
@SunStruck 21wks (due 28/09/20)⁣⁣
@Scout20 19wks (due 29/09/20)⁣
@Littlegoth 20wks (due 30/09/20)⁣
@HighHopes20 20wks (due 03/10/20)⁣⁣
@Treaclepie19 20wks (due 07/10/20)⁣⁣
@Aria2015 10wks⁣
@tmc14** 19wks (due 11/10/20)⁣
@Hagster 19wks (due 12/10/20)⁣⁣
@seaduck 12wks (due 17/10/20)⁣
@DressingGown87 13wks (due 20/10/20)⁣
@rachelrainbow 11wks (due 01/11/20)⁣
@teaandtantrums90 13wks (due 05/11/20)⁣
@AnxiousLady1 14wks (due 07/11/20)⁣
@Shefliesonherownwings 13wks (due 09/11/20)⁣
@MrsG3 14wks (due 16/11/20)
@MysteriousSheep 13wks (due 21/11/20)
@Whiffle77 11wks (due 04/12/20)⁣
@MOGMOGMOG85 11wks (due 09/12/20)
@footprintsintheslow 5 weeks (due 16/01/21)

[SunStruck]

Hey ladies, I've just booked an appointment with the hospital and Dr whom is going to deliver my baby! We were recommended this Dr as we know 3 people who have given birth at that hospital and under her care, and they all raved about her. Feels good when you're abroad! My appointment is in 2 weeks, so when I'm 23 weeks. Eek!

I've also called about antenatal classes and they said they stopped all of those now until further notice. What will you guys do (first time mums) if you don't manage to attend one?! We have never changed a diaper on our lives before!

[AnxiousLady1]

@SunStruck I think a lot of the antenatal classes have gone online here. Bit difficult not getting the hands on practical guidance, but I'd imagine we just need to make this work! Haven't changed a nappy either. Well, not since I was a kid and did it a couple times for younger siblings. So haven't done it in 28 years!! 😂

[tmc14]

@Shefliesonherownwings I'm not sure if it's the same, but I was given a number for the mental health team if I need it. I have a history of anxiety (and a previous traumatic birth) and the consultant said she wouldn't set me up with an appointment but I was to call them if I feel I needed it. I haven't used it yet as I haven't needed it, but I wouldn't be worried about it... See it as a great opportunity to speak through any worries you have, and any questions that crop up about pregnancy/birth/how you're feeling. Let us know how you get on xx

[Shefliesonherownwings]

Thanks @Anon20something and @tmc14. I hate not knowing what to expect for things now and I also have a really hard time talking about the details of Isla's birth, DH usually has to describe what happened as I get too upset. Obv he can't come with me so I know I'll get emotional. I do have a lot of anxiety right now so hopefully I'll find it helpful.

Hope everyone else is doing ok. Xx

[Shefliesonherownwings]

@AnxiousLady1 we did antenatal classes last year but we still practised nappies on a teddy. Not quite the same as a wriggly baby but at least we knew which bit was the front and which tab went where. We also practised putting a teddy in and out of the car seat to get used to the straps and how tight it should be.

[tmc14]

@Shefliesonherownwings You don't have to talk about Isla's birth if you don't want to. That sounds blunt, but it is a service to help you. If it doesn't help you, you don't have to use it, and if you don't want to describe Isla's birth, then you don't have to. It is your and her story, if you don't want to/can't tell it, that's ok. You could always write a brief version down and pass it over, explaining that you can't tell it in person, but you might like to explore your feelings around this pregnancy, which might be easier to talk about. Just be gentle with yourself, and remember you're not having the appointment for them, you're having it for you.

(I also wanted to apologise, I rushed the last message, and I said one of the reasons I was given the number was a previous traumatic birth... I realise it is nowhere near as traumatic as losing a child, I was just explaining why I had the option of using it. I hope I didn't offend you x)

[Anon20something]

@Shefliesonherownwings that’s totally understandable - your experience and your both with Isla is yours. You did an amazing thing that day. If you don’t want to discuss it, especially with a stranger, then you don’t have to. If you do feel like you need to get it off your chest, and talk about it without going into details in person, perhaps write it down and take it along with you? I find writing things really helps when I can’t articulate them. Not sure how it works but my personal messages are always open, and I’m sure all of the ladies here would agree that we’re always here to listen and support you too. Hope it goes well. X

[MrsMGE]

@Knotemma I didn't know that. You've made me smile now, that's beautiful ❤️ Very comforting.

So ladies, having spoken to the private clinic about booking Panorama, I was told that they don't accept partners, I'll need to come in on my own. Considering the NHS requires that I come in on my own to my 13 ws as well, DH and I decided we'll have an early scan, which is a not-so-early one at 10w4d this Saturday. I've already paid for it. I'm strangely at peace now, maybe because I've passed all my milestones and haven't had any bad news. If it's another MMC, of course I'll be devastated, but I am somehow more ready to hear the news than I was before. What will be, will be. I'll either be panicking or quiet for the next few days, no idea just yet! Xxx

[MrsMGE]

(I should have said my DH is allowed to come with me this Saturday, the scan place allows partners in) xxc

[Knotemma]

@SunStruck I've just been looking for stuff online. I've also bought some muslin nappies so I can practice my folding, definitely want to be confident in that before the goblin arrives! I'm going to be practicing getting them on a teddy once I can turn them into something that looks nappy shaped!

@Shefliesonherownwings I agree with what others have said, these are your sessions, so don't feel like you have to talk about anything specific. Sometimes pushing yourself out of your comfort zone is helpful in the long run, but you should be the one in control of how far it how deep you go into a subject.

[SunStruck]

@MrsMGE I'm happy to hear about your decision, I think it's important your DH is with you on the first scan (especially after everything that's happened)! Luckily my DH could come on my 12 week scan (not that strict yet then), if he couldn't I would have done the same as you. I'm rooting for you and the little one, what time is it on Saturday?

Whatever will be will be, you can't change the outcome and the chances are overwhelmingly in your favor that everything will be just fine ❤️ Great you have the Panorama so early, results are fairly quick (took us 8 working days or something like that from the US). I just want you to be able to enjoy this pregnancy which I know you can't before you know everything is fine ❤️

[MrsMGE]

Thanks @SunStruck, you're a star and it really means a lot ❤️ My thunder buddy from day 1, look how far we've come together, the whole year down the line ❤️

The scan on Saturday is an early reassurance one. It's at 10am. I concluded it's important DH is there and sees the little one, no matter what the news is going to be. It really upset me to think he might not see them at all if it's bad news.

If everything is OK, I'll then have my NHS scan and the Panorama not long after, again assuming the NHS one goes ok. It's a costly affair so I want to make sure I'm past the most risky stage first. One step at a time 😊 Tbh, I didn't want to say, but I'm feeling and looking pregnant. I'm bloated, but I have a bit of a bump showing slowly and full, tender breasts. It's a borderline Dolly Parton look as I'm busty anyway 🙈 I know it might mean nothing, but I've become eager to know now to have an idea whether I can slowly start settling into a pregnant life or whether it's not to be. Xxx

[SunStruck]

@MrsMGE I know, buddies from Day 1! 🥰

Haha I know that Dolly Parton look... unfortunately DH doesn't get to enjoy them as boobs are too tender to touch 🤣 10 am is great and early! Good to have it out of the way!

@Knotemma @AnxiousLady1 I think we'll just have to wing it really 😳 do you know what, I don't think working out how to change a nappy will be THAT hard, but I really wanted to attend an infant first aid class (so you know what to do if they choke, stop breathing etc). I just don't think that would be very good online (if they even do it). Gives me anxiety to think that I won't know what to do if god forbid that ever happens!

[AnxiousLady1]

@MrsMGE Your dream this morning definitely was important. I'm not religious (raised Catholic). But have some spiritual leanings. When I had a good scan at 12 weeks my friend actually said to me it was my grandmother watching out for me. Glad you've booked in a private scan so your DH can go. And I really hope it gives you the reassurance you need now, so we can see more of you on here. Xx

@SunStruck That's a fair point about the first aid. That's definitely something I would need to do. I'm sure I came across some course on one of the pregnancy apps I have, but again, this would be online. I'll add it to the list of questions for my midwife appointment next week!

[Knotemma]

@SunStruck @AnxiousLady1 the British red cross have a baby specific first aid app, which literally talks you through everything. I'm first aided trained and that's my go to

[Knotemma]

Just for a giggle... Here's a teddy wearing a cloth nappy 😂. It was reassuring to find out that the folds aren't as scary as I'd first thought, thought I'm sure the getting it on bit will be much more difficult on a tiny wriggly human!

[Shefliesonherownwings]

Thank you all for your messages, you've made me feel a lot better. I really like the idea of writing something down, just a factual summary of my labour, birth and how we lost Isla so I think I'm going to do that. Then I can focus on talking about my anxieties around this pregnancy which I think is what I need more. I'll let you all know how it goes. Big love to all. X

[footprintsintheslow]

I've just seen on Facebook that the NCT are running online antenatal classes

[MrsMGE]

Thank you @AnxiousLady1 that's really sweet of you. I was raised Catholic too (I'm not a church goer now though), and my Nan was very religious!

Re first aid, St John's do courses and I thought they were very good. I did mine years ago, it was free at the time. I recommend, they covered all aspects related to babies and young children too. Worth checking if they do online courses.

[KRender]

Hi, I'm new to this. Wondering if anyone has had similar experience and can offer advice. Currently 8 weeks pregnant. Had bleeding (fresh blood) and cramping on and off for two weeks now. I've had two scans, the first a week ago and everything was fine, saw the heart beat. I then had blood tests 3 days apart first was coming in at 107,000 the 2nd at 140,000. I then had a scan today at 8 weeks and again everything seemed great. However I am still bleeding and cramping quite bad. Anyone else had similar and gone on to have a sucessful pregnancy? TIA X

[KRender]

Hi, I'm new to this. Wondering if anyone has had similar experience and can offer advice. Currently 8 weeks pregnant. Had bleeding (fresh blood) and cramping on and off for two weeks now. I've had two scans, the first a week ago and everything was fine, saw the heart beat. I then had blood tests 3 days apart first was coming in at 107,000 the 2nd at 140,000. I then had a scan today at 8 weeks and again everything seemed great. However I am still bleeding and cramping quite bad. Anyone else had similar and gone on to have a sucessful pregnancy? TIA

[MOGMOGMOG85]

Sorry if this is tmi but I'm concerned... Tuesday night I stated getting contractions but it definitely felt like my back end rather than my womb, although in the same kind of area which is confusing! I did have diarrhoea which kept me up til 1 and lasted a few hours. Then it cleared up but I had a painful pressure in my bowel that has not gone away since then. It seemed to get worse again last night as I was finding it really hard to go to the loo or pass wind. I woke up in a lot of pain in the middle of the night and even moving was painful. I did manage to go to the loo but instead of bringing relief it just gave me intense amounts of pain so much so that I was crying out and felt dizzy. I did actually call 111 but they never called back and just told me to go to A&E if the pain becomes unmanageable. After going to the toilet this morning (again huge amounts of pain and I had to cry out) the underlying pain has gone back to mild again, but I'm just dreading going to the toilet again if it's going to be that painful... even passing wind is painful enough to make me cry out. I will call the doctor today and get a telephone appointment. I think its just horrible digestive problems - maybe i ate something a bit off and because my digestive system is moving so slowly it's causing intense amounts of pain. But there is a pain at a certain point right before I go to the toilet which reminds me of a pain I got after the miscarriage and I'm sort of wondering if my fibroids might have grown again and be pushing on a certain part of my bowel... it just seems to have come on so suddenly though - I'm hoping that if my fibroid had grown I'd have had steadily growing levels of discomfort and pain... hmmm - not sure if any of you will be able to help as it's a bit of an odd one but just thought I'd ask in case anyone else got similar painful digestive problems? xx

[MrsMGE]

@MOGMOGMOG85 Nothing similar so I can't help as much as I'd like to, but if you're struggling your first thing would be to drink a lot of water and eat lots of fibre - get your bran flakes or porridge in, lots of veg and fruit today and see if that helps you a bit. It should because you're dehydrated and likely need more fibre now to release the pressure. I've not had constipation apart from maybe 2-3 days, but had diarrhoea regularly in all my pregnancies which I'm convinced is linked to my IBS and I get hormonal flare ups. It is not unusual, but keep an eye on that particular pain you're having in one spot, in case it's a separate thing to the digestive issue. Take care xx

[MrsMGE]

@MOGMOGMOG85 Also I'd say that some level of pain and discomfort is normal when it comes to digestive problems, but watch yourself if it's getting to the point of you feeling so poorly that you're dizzy. Perhaps dietary changes would help, but if you're already eating well then I'd be speaking to a doctor for the peace of mind. You don't want to feel like this regularly and hopefully there's something they could recommend. xx