To think I have a spunking ghost?!

spunking ghost! hahah

Maybe DS was sleep walking and decided to piss outside your bedroom door?

Although, a spunking ghost is definitely the most rational explanation

Neighbour’s cat wandered in through an open window? Or even a fox?

<jealous!>
I want a spunking ghost too (and a DP who cleans up after it!)

Leaky pipe above???? Hole in the roof dripping?

p.s. Typing the words "spunking ghost" is strangely pleasurable. I recommend other posters try it.

<wonders if it's a bit soon to nominate for classics>

Was it DP and he is using the spunking ghost story as a cover up?

DS or dog got caught short on the landing then went back to bed.

I did consider "ejaculating ghost" to be a bit more, you know, high brow...but I wasn't sure how to spell it

Dog was downstairs and stair gate was closed, so I was a bit about how DP thought it could be the dog.

I did wonder about DS having a sleep wee (is that a thing?) But he was tucked in under his covers and he can't do that himself...at 7! (I think he's defective and may ask for a refund)

Only open Windows were upstairs and we don't have flying cats or foxes round here...sadly!

It was definitely a spunking ghost. There’s no other explanation.

The way I would like to think of it, had it been me, was that the ghost took one look at my heavenly features whilst sleeping and had an ectogasm in his sheets.

Oh and no wet patches on the ceiling so the leak explanation is out.

I'm actually quite worried...I don't want a ghost! Especially a spanking one!

Spunking not spanking! That's a whole other level of paranormal fuckery

Ah dairy queen it would be lovely to think that. Thing is my DP sleeps on the side near the door...homosexual spunking ghost?!

I obviously have no issued with homosexuals but I don't want dead ones banging one out on my upstairs landing

Can ghosts hold themselves? Wouldn't it his hand just pass through his spectoral dong?

Ghosts float though Chips, so perfectly logical that he could see you from the doorway.

Why he'd need to open it is another matter, as he could logically just float through it unless his ghost erection prevented it possibly

If I were to be sensible, I would assume that DH had spilt a drink on the way up to bed and not closed the door properly. Ours has a tendency to open randomly if we don't "click" it shut. But it's definitely a spunking ghost IMO

Have you smelt the wet patch to check whether it’s urine or something else? Possible it was DS and he climbed back into bed afterwards.

Can 7 year olds spunk? Is that what u think it was? Im confused

"Smell the wet patch" sounds like a particularly unpleasant dare!

Crazy lady - Jesus no! And i certainly wouldnt term it that was if I though it was my son.

I genuinely don't know what it was but we seem to have ruled out all logical explanations...So I'm left with spunking ghost

I can't do the smell the wet patch dare either as DP cleaned it up (not really sad that I can't give the puddle a sniff)

You're not trying Chipshopninja. MN requires you to go upstairs NOW and sniff around all of your carpets and then come and report back to us with your nasal findings.

If it was a large wet patch, it would have been a very large spunking ghost.

Did you also hear the creaking/door close?

Cynical me is wondering whether dp didn’t have a little ‘accident’ or maybe spill a drink himself and this is a cover story??

Failing that, spunking ghost definitely

Well this is odd

I don't believe in ghosts, a jizzing-on-the-landing ghost is something I've never heard anyone claim.

My money is on the DP.

This is my favourite post ever.