Was Paul Newman, discuss

In reference to The Most Beautiful Man thread,

Just for balance, I thought we ought to show the women as well...

Gong Li
Zhang Ziyi
Louise Brooks
Cyd Charisse

I‘m turning 40 later this year.

I‘ve always been into alternate music and fashion. But you wouldn’t really know to look at me. I‘m a teacher, wear floral dresses or jeans and t shirts.

I really want to get a piercing. I think it would be called a low labret. About a centimetre under my lower lip. It would be quite shocking to most people around me, but not to those who know me personally.

Has anyone else done this? Is this my mid life crisis talking?

I live in a 4 in a block. I'm top floor and my garden (private) is the one shown on the left of the photo, surrounded by the fence. Neighbour is beneath and the window shown is her bedroom window. Both fences are mine, previous owner paid for them and for them to be erected.

I get on well enough with downstairs neighbour however the issue is that every time I go out to the garden, she comes out and chats, for a good half hour. She's elderly and I get that she just wants to chat, I have no problem with a short chat now and then, but last time I was out there, I had a whole day free when DC was at their dads and so wanted to get cracking on the garden, she came out 5 separate times, 3 times to chat for ages and will sometimes stand watching me from her bedroom window, which is a little awkward.

I'm not sure if it would be unreaonable of me to heighten the fence a little to give me privacy? I don't want to completely block her light, just her view into my garden! I was thinking of popping a trellis on top, so that light still gets through. Maybe pop some climbing flowers on it. The taller fence that can be seen is 6ft tall, i was thinking of matching the trellis height to this. Local planning permission dictates 6ft 6 inches is the limit that you can have fences, so I don't think I would be breaking any local laws. I'm sure she will complain as she's quite fixed on how she thinks things should be, so I'm not sure if it's unreasonable of me to do this?

I'm currently looking at my wardrobe and what I might want to update it for autumn.

I'm mid50s, 5'7" and size 14.

I'm currently looking at these:

Boots
https://lanxshoes.com/collections/womens-boots/products/edgworth-brown-distressed

Jacket
https://www.marksandspencer.com/faux-leather-harrington-jacket/p/clp61227207?color=SAGE&extid=ps_ps-pla-pmax_ggl_ww_ch__-UK-_-_bau_tier1&cq_src=google_ads&cq_cmp=23464567334&cq_con=&cq_term=&cq_med=pla&cq_plac=&cq_net=x&cq_plt=gp&gclsrc=aw.ds&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=23459513439&gclid=CjwKCAjwtKrUBhAhEiwAr77ZouxSW1TOKd2eot-kyFgHD7u41KdbxQwXep71n0a8z0pK0sj6BWAaWRoCJVAQAvD_BwE

And carrot shape jeans.

What have you got your eye on?

Is this too much to wear to the office? I wore it with a belt so wondering if I was over dressed?

I have had some issues with my stomach for the last few years and find anything with a proper waistband incredibly uncomfortable after about an hour. It makes me feel horrendous and often lasts hours after I take the trousers off. I live in high waisted leggings, light jersey trousers or dresses with tights.

I lived in jeans until this all started and I’m desperate to get back into them but after an hour I’m so so uncomfortable that it ruins my day 😔
I recently bought DS (5yo) some chino type trousers for a smart occasion and thought they were fab as they had the waistband of a pair of joggers rather than make of the chino material!!

If I could get proper jeans but with a very soft waistband it would be a dream!

Unfortunately, I’m not fitting in an age 5-6y anytime soon 😅🤣 So I’m on the hunt!

Has anyone seen anything that fits the description? Every time I search for ideas it just brings up loads of links to Halara. I believe they are more of a light and thin material rather than proper denim though unfortunately!

Had a bit of time to kill before work earlier so had a browse in a charity shop. Surrey town but more commuter belt than anything salubrious. Shop was a run of the mill one not one of the boutique type offerings.

Nice green and white maxi dress, casual summer type thing, the other dresses were priced around £8 pounds which isn’t really a bargain but as I liked it a lot I picked it up- only to see it was priced at £30. Yes it was ‘Max Studio’ but those dresses aren’t going for anything like that on Vinted etc.

I asked why it was priced so high and the lady said ‘it’s designer’.😐

Probably been sitting there for months!! Where’s the sense in it?! Why have charity shops become so far removed from what they’re supposed to be- a way to shop sustainably and feel like you’re getting a bargain because it’s not new? Yeah I know they want to raise money as well but surely they’d do that a damn sight quicker if they actually shifted stock and not stuck eye watering labels on things.

I’m still annoyed from last week from a different shop as well when my little boy picked up a toy dinosaur figure and the label said £6. We put it back and I told them why but they didn’t care obviously and it’s still sitting there as of yesterday. How greedy to price children’s toys so high. When I was little you could always find a pocket money toy for a couple of pounds and come away feeling chuffed.

Ive heard lots are going out of business and my sympathy is somewhat limited. Serves them right. They seem to be terrified of people grabbing bargains to resell but then they’ve forgotten that some people on lower incomes are using them to buy clothes etc too.

I've decided to treat myself, but I don't know where to start.

Firstly I don't know what else to call the kind of bag I'm after, hence "status" bag. I like Chanel, LV, which I know some fashionistas like to sneer at, so please, if that's you, respect that we all have different preferences.

I'm looking for a lovely every day bag, that I don't look stupid with on the school run etc. We live rurally, and didn't before, so all my Chanel and LV with chain straps etc would look majorly over done and I'd feel ridiculous wandering round town on casual shop with one. I do sometimes take my neverful but I'd like something much smaller. Slouchy and comfy as opposed to stiff leather.

What's a casual but still "status" bag that I could go for? I don't like massive gold logos etc like the GG Gucci bags, or the ones with big YSLs down the front. I would like it to be recognisable as branded, but from close up, not from across the street if you see what I mean.

Thank you.

Call me old fashioned, but isn't this sort of thing likely to provoke a run on toilet rolls? Couldnt find any other threads on it, but I think there is a "preppers" topic on here somewhere. In any case, what do you think? I'm sort of concerned, should I be? Or has this gone under the radar?

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2026/aug/25/uk-to-warn-citizens-to-stock-up-on-food-amid-threat-from-climate-crisis-and-hostile-states

DH has bought something for the house without mentioning it to me and I am honestly a bit annoyed.

It was about £40 so its not like he's gone mad or anything but its something we absolutely did not need and I would have rather the money went towards other things tbh.

I only found out because the parcel turned up and when I asked what it was he said he'd ordered it a couple of days ago. I said I wish he'd mentioned it first and he said why, its hardly a big purchase and he doesn't ask me before buying things for himself.

I do see that point but I don't really think its the same when its something for the house? Especially when we've got other things coming up that we need to pay for.

I am not saying he needs to ask permission every time he spends money btw. If he wants to buy himself something with his own money then obviously thats different. But if its coming out of our joint account for something that is basically unnecessary then surely its reasonable to discuss it first?

He thinks I'm being controlling and making an issue out of nothing.

AIBU?

I can't stand the heat. I holiday pretty much only in snowy places, some of which get dark very early. I have not coped well this summer. I also have a heart problem that isn't helped by hot weather. It's making me seriously consider moving to Scotland. My mum and dad, in their 70s, are somewhat open to also making the move with us - we are close emotionally and geographically and they wouldn't want to be away from my daughter.

The problem is this. I have lived within the same 10 miles for the majority of my nearly 40 years of existence (aside from uni, and living in Europe 3 times briefly). We have good friends here, it's a nice area, we have a lovely home. A nice primary school round the corner etc. Good neighbours. Parents round the corner. We both are happy in our work and can work remotely. Nothing is technically 'wrong' aside from how hot the summers are becoming. For example, there were loads of local things I didn't go to/do this summer because it was too hot.

I feel sick at the thought of leaving everything and jumping into the unknown. But part of me doesn't want to live and die within the same 10 miles anyway. I feel like I've exhausted almost everything here. I can't think of anywhere new to go any more and I find that utterly depressing.

My partner and I have always loved Scotland. Always. The nature and the space, the friendly people. So it's not an idea plucked out of thin air. It's been something that I've wondered about on/off for years.

Is it normal to feel so sick at the prospect of making such a big move? If I stay here will I regret not having tried it? Do you think the weather (and writing off 3 months each summer) is reason enough to do this? I can't settle on one idea. Sometimes I just think it's easier to do nothing but everything suggests that hot summers are going to be our new 'normal'.

Clothes accessories cosmetics everything.

Welcome to Thread 5! 🥳

A huge thank you to @OvaHere and @JoRaRaRa for the previous threads, and to everyone who's been sharing spoilers, links, bargains, discount codes and enabling each other over the first 4 threads. ❤️
As agreed, we're taking it in turns to start each new thread this year. If this thread starts getting close to the reply limit, please post to let everyone know you're happy to start the next one so we can avoid duplicate threads.

🎅 A few festive housekeeping notes;

🎁 This thread contains spoilers.
🎄 Please be kind and respectful to one another.
💸 No judging anyone for their purchasing choices (or how many calendars they buy... we're all enablers here! 😂).
🎀 Feel free to share spoilers, offers, discount codes, GWPs, delivery updates and stock alerts.

🎁 Available Now

Liberty – £285 (Beauty Drop members receive £25 off). Full contents revealed. Beauty Drop member pre order has closed and those advents are being dispatched. The advent will go on general sale soon (BD members still qualify for the discount during the general sale)
www.libertylondon.com/uk/features/beauty/beauty-advent-calendar#
Unboxing

P. Louise – £250. Available to pre-order with payment instalments available.
https://plouise.co.uk/collections/wonderful-world-of-p-louise-advent-calendar/products/what-glows-around-2026-advent-calendar

John Lewis – £250. Available on pre-sale via the app for MyJL members.
https://beauty-detective.com/john-lewis-beauty-advent-calendar-2026/

Harrods Beauty Advent Calendar – £270. Now on pre-sale.
https://www.harrods.com/en-gb/p/harrods-of-london-the-harrods-beauty-advent-calendar-2026-000000000000284475

Harrods 12 Days of Hair & Body – £99. Now on pre-sale.
https://www.harrods.com/en-gb/p/harrods-of-london-the-harrods-12-days-of-hair-and-body-advent-calendar-2026-000000000000284465

Harrods Fragrance Advent Calendar – £225. Pre-sale currently sold out. Expected back in-store during September (date TBC).
https://beauty-detective.com/harrods-fragrance-advent-calendar-2026/

Vogue Festive Calendar – £355. Available to pre-order
https://shop.vogue.co.uk/products/vogue-festive-calendar-2026

Fortnum & Mason Beauty Advent Calendar - £275. Available now
https://www.fortnumandmason.com/fortnums-beauty-advent-calendar-2026

Fenwick 25 day beauty advent calendar - £250. Available now
https://fenwick.co.uk/products/fenwick-fenwick-beauty-25-day-advent-calendar-2026

Anthropologie 24 Day Beauty Advent Calendar – £98. Available now
https://www.anthropologie.com/en-gb/shop/24-days-of-beauty-advent-calendar5

The Fragrance Shop - Available for pre-order £120 members, £150 non-members
Women's Advent Calendar
https://www.thefragranceshop.co.uk/the-fragrance-shop/the-fragrance-shop/gift-box-advent/p/76306
Men's Advent Calendar https://www.thefragranceshop.co.uk/the-fragrance-shop/the-fragrance-shop/gift-box-advent/p/76307

⏳ Coming Soon / Waitlists
Cult Beauty £245 - £20 gift voucher back when buying at launch 03/09 early access.
https://www.cultbeauty.co.uk/c/advent-calendar/

Harvey Nichols
(website is down currently due to to the company buyout but will return soon) Details TBC.
Beauty:
https://www.harveynichols.com/harvey-nichols/harvey-nichols-beauty-advent-calendar-2026-75896-258491/
Fragrance:
https://www.harveynichols.com/harvey-nichols/harvey-nichols-12-days-of-fragrance-advent-calendar-2026-75906-258490/

John Lewis Fragrance £99
https://beauty-detective.com/john-lewis-fragrance-advent-calendar-2026/

Space NK £275
https://www.spacenk.com/uk/gifts/beauty-advent-calendars/beauty-advent-calendar-MUK200063764.html
Unboxing video

Elle £197 or £187 if you join waitlist
https://beauty-detective.com/elle-advent-calendar-2026/

Boots launch 01/09 for waitlist then 2/09 for general sale
www.boots.com/christmas/advent-calendars/advent-calendar-waiting-list
Luxe £150
beauty-detective.com/boots-beauty-advent-calendar-2026/
Scent £90
beauty-detective.com/boots-12-days-of-scent-advent-calendar-2026/
Skin £70
beauty-detective.com/boots-24-days-of-skin-advent-calendar-2026/

Sephora UK
Spoilers:
https://beauty-detective.com/sephora-uk-advent-calendar-2026/
Waitlist: https://www.sephora.co.uk/c/beauty-advent-calendar-waitlist

Selfridges
Beauty & Fragrance £250
https://beauty-detective.com/selfridges-beauty-advent-calendar-2026/
Fragrance (lots of price rumours about this one - could be similar to Harrods fragrance or could twice as much)
https://beauty-detective.com/selfridges-fragrance-advent-calendar-2026/

LookFantastic Beauty
https://www.lookfantastic.com/c/waitlist/advent/?srsltid=AfmBOoovzs9M5Kt8-RM_31Q3-JOa6N51uGggpe0hglvZbxC5Of7AFTH_
LookFantastic Fragrance
https://beauty-detective.com/lookfantastic-fragrance-advent-calendar-2026/

Glossybox
https://beauty-detective.com/glossybox-advent-calendar-2026/

OK! Beauty Box £109
https://beauty-detective.com/ok-beauty-box-advent-calendar-2026/

Next £150
https://beauty-detective.com/next-beauty-advent-calendar-2026/

Debenhams £120
https://www.debenhams.com/pages/beauty-advent-calendar

PURESEOUL £140 (first year they are doing an advent)
beauty-detective.com/pureseoul-advent-calendar-2026/

💄 More Calendars & Spoilers
Rather than making the opening post a mile long, here's a brilliant roundup of lots more advent calendars and the latest spoilers, including Charlotte Tilbury, Jo Malone, Elemis, Lancôme, Tatcha, NEOM, Neal's Yard Remedies, Holland & Barrett, YesStyle and many more as they're announced.

👉 https://beauty-detective.com/category/beauty-advent-calendars/ 👈

🎅 Happy advent season everyone! 🎁
Here's hoping for lots more spoilers, bargains, discount codes, and maybe a little self-control (although that's already gone for some 😄)

I hope I’ve captured everything 🩷

I realise this is probably a very naive question but I have just come back from a hol in France. We visited a mix of touristy and some very non touristy towns - in all of them the high street was thriving.

Lots of independent shops, alongside chains and cafes busy streets. There were also big out of town hypermarches too but they didn’t seem obviously to impact the town centres. Hardly any of the vape shop, nail bars and boarded up charity shops in our town centres.

My question is what are the French doing to achieve this that we are not? Are there tax incentives of some kind, if so, how does
the French gov afford it and why couldn’t we adopt at least some of this model for the UK?

11yo DS is autistic and has an eating disorder called ARFID. Im begging for help but no-one seems concerned.

When diagnosed 4 years ago he was between 25th - 50th centile for weight. Since then he has gradually slipped down the char until now hes off the bottom (below 0.4 centile).

Hes so weak and tired that 5 minutes at a park completely wipes him out. Hes breathless walking up the stairs. Because of the autism he struggles hugely with demands so I cant just tell him to eat/drink.

Though he does eat its very restrictive and every day there's a calorie deficit of 800-900 calories. He has several vitamin deficiencies but cant tolerate the oral supplements. We've attempted what feels like all supplement drink/shake options and he just gags and refuses them. Fljid kntake is a huge concern also - drinking around 500ml a day (can be less) is normal for him.

Dietitian said a few months ago that if things didn't improve he would need a feeding tube as the next step. DS wants this. He is excited to have pressure to eat and drink removed and wants to be healthier. It would mean medicines and supplements can be given through the tube also.

Hes been referred for a PEG but the waiting list is a minimum of 12 months.

Monitoring his intake, noticing cold extremities and mottled skin and trying to encourage without demanding are taking a huge toll on me. He is literally wasting away in front of my eyes. But because he is 'stable' (ha!) at home and not actively in organ failure it's apparently fine to just keep going.

Im so desperately worried for him but no-one seems to be taking it seriously 😭

I know I sound horrible. I know I’ll get lots of hate saying leave him the poor man but I know a lot of women feel the same.
I love him but he just gets on my nerves anyone feel the same? Give me stories / things your husbands do that grate on you like a fork on a brick wall. 😂 I know I sound vile. I’m honestly not, just ughhhhh shudder.

Sorry but it’s true. He works full time and helps around the house but has no interest in family life, days out etc. We had a holiday this year that he was miserable for. Didn’t really want to leave the resort as it would be ‘too much hard work’ with our youngest. If ever he can get out of opting out of something he will. When he has our youngest on his own there are a select few activities he might do like the park or NT but would never dream of taking her to the cinema or swimming because it’s too difficult. Whenever I suggest getting in the car and going somewhere he will huff and claim he has too much to be doing at home or that he’s ill/tired/skint. I don’t want to be busy every weekend but feel as parents we have an obligation to do stuff with our kids when we can and give them a good childhood. He is just lazy and disinterested.

There is an age gap between us - he’s in his early 50s now with a 3 year old and I understand it’s difficult. In hindsight he probably didn’t fully appreciate what having a child later in life means. But she’s here now and I’m finding his lack of enthusiasm for anything quite a turn off. I have resolved to start doing things alone with dc (I have an older child from previous marriage) but I find it sad that I’m with someone who doesn’t share my values around this stuff.

Leaving isn’t an option for me at the moment but I just need to vent. If I bring this up with him he will list a load of excuses and/or sulk so it’s not worth it. It’s bank holiday coming up and I said I might take the dc away for a night and he is practically gleeful about the prospect of being left alone. I don’t get that opportunity because he’d never offer to take them anywhere himself.

I met a woman through a local hobby (fitness group) that I volunteer for. When she became pregnant she stopped training. We realised we live on the same street (six houses apart) and I began going swimming with her to help keep her fitness up. I don't love swimming but it was nice for the company and it meant we could share a (my) car.

She messaged after she had the baby but said no visitors. Then when baby was there months old she offered to call over so I could meet him. I was delighted, had a gift, made the place comfortable for them both. She called over and stayed four hours even thought I was feeding DC around her. I was expecting a much shorter visit and had to get firm explaining I needed to get DC ready for bed. She ate dinner and dessert too.

Then she suggested visiting again so I said yes but let's go for a walk this time with baby and stop at a coffee shop. Three times she has come then said no it's easier to just come in, I've no blanket, it's going to rain, my hip is sore. Every single time I have to ask her to leave after the visit drags on saying "I'm sorry I have things to do" repeatedly. The last time she firmly said she wouldn't as baby was sleeping and she couldn't disturb. Then when he woke up she started setting him up for feeding and I had to carry him to his carrier, open the door and walk them home.

I don't have time to sit and chat for hours. I understand she's lonely but we aren't close friends and she never actually asks me about myself or let's me talk so it doesn't even feel like a friendship developing. I feel like some sort of public service that's there to support her keep her spirits up while she can't exercise with us.

A few days ago was the final straw. She had messaged and instead of ignoring it (as she often turns up then regardless) I replied and said don't call over, I'm far too busy. She read the message. My DH then came upstairs and told me she was in the sitting room waiting for me.

I came down and quite bluntly said "I told you I was busy, so I don't know why you're here. I'll have to ask you to leave."

My DH was horrified and said to me afterwards he was very embarrassed that I would be so nasty. He walked her around with the baby and he's not off with me.

I hadn't really spoken to him about how much she was annoying me as I thought I just need to deal with it differently.

I don't know what I'm asking but I'm feeling shitty now.

I’m not sure what to advise my DC re: work experience abroad. The placement was at my sister’s office in a large European city—all I had to do was fund the flight on a budget airline, so it was quite an opportunity for DC at not much cost to me.

There are UK offices for this company (so listing the name only wouldn’t give the location away), and I’m on the fence with whether I should encourage DC naming the location on the Personal Statement. On the one hand, it was an excellent learning opportunity and life experience; on the other hand, during the current economic climate, it gives “Entitled Rich Kid” vibes.

What would you encourage your DC to do?

Not sure what I am asking, perhaps some perspective…

I have always been a conservative dresser with my own style, I like Reiss / VB / Mango sleek minimalism with occasional dab into 70s vibe for smart wear. Still wearing heels for work, especially on the flares day 🙈

I went from one or two days in the office to full week in July, so bought a few more items. It’s very cold in the office (long story) and it’s modest dressing dress code. Everyone looks smart but not fashion forward. I have neutral 3 blazers and 4 trousers that I mix and match, jeans sometimes. I prefer short sleeve shell tops / whitest shirts under blazers to push the sleeves up, so my sassy silk blouses are now for weekend, it’s too cold for blouses only.

I came to feel bored of what feels like wearing the same thing, those 3 damn blazers. I don’t feel smart in knitwear, so don’t wear cardigans or jumpers at work.

What should I do, buy more blazers, perhaps experiment with colours, textures, shapes? Will they still feel like wearing the same thing? I like the concept of uniform, less decision making on what to wear but also feel like I am a bit resentful of repetitive dressing.

Just wondering how much variety others have in work dressing and if you try to buy the best you can afford, how much workwear do you have? Do you accessorise more for variety? It should not matter, work is just work, but it’s long hours and makes you feel good to enjoy what you are wearing…

Been dating for ten months. Both mid fifties and divorced for some years and both with adult children in their twenties.

Earlier today we popped into a local pub for a bite to eat. I'd just had minor surgery and was feeling huge relief and fancied a wee tipple as well. It was a busy Wetherspoons, Friday afternoon, loads of students and young people. The minute we sat down he could not take his eyes off four young women right in his line of vision. He commented as I noticed him staring, "oh look how she's almost wearing nothing, the top, it's backless, got no back at all" Then looking and looking. I looked around and four very pretty young girls sitting having fun. Yes a backless top. They all looked barely a day over 18. He then said "They look sooooo young. Like children... "

He stared and stared. Not long after they left. I only hope not because of him.

Then he said... "What shall we talk about then.... " He looked very embarrassed as I said nothing. I felt very uncomfortable.

A couple of weeks back we were out in a cafe and a group of girls came in, around 16 to 17 if not a bit younger at a guess. He stared and stared and said "Look at those teenage girls. I can watch exactly what's going on from where I'm sitting"

A few other times he has commented on teen clothing and how tight it is and done the staring thing.

Am I reading too much OK into this?

Need urgent advice please because I don't know what to make of this and I'm incapable of keeping my emotions in! Months ago I found the back of an earring on my bed and confronted DH because I'm sure it wasn't mine, he was very convincing that there was nothing untoward going on. Naive as this may sound I don't think he's the sort that would cheat, I don't see how he'd even have the time for it (he works full time and we have 2 young DC). So I chalked it up to the cleaner/something I'd forgotten that got caught up and moved inadvertently.

This evening I have just found half a fake nail on my upstairs landing and I have no explanation of where it could have come from. I've fully panicked and managed to look through DHs phone. I didn't find anything on WhatsApp, Facebook or text messages.

I do not know what to do. I want to confront him because I'm terrible at hiding my feelings but I assume if anything IS going on he will just play it off again. What should I do? Apologies for the rushed and possibly incoherent message! x

https://www.dunelm.com/product/emily-metal-bed-frame-1000295082?defaultSkuId=31055771&size=Small+Double+4ft&colour=Cream

Am I being unreasonable to think that the gap between the bars could present a risk to a tween/young teenager, if their head were to become stuck between them? (I haven't measured the width of the gap). Or am I unreasonably stuck in some sort of baby / toddler safe sleeping mode? Tell me if IABU. Teen likes this style.

Just that really. I used to look forward to having a drink and a bite to eat in cafes, it was nice and relaxing. But no longer, some examples and you always get at least one or two now.

The expense, its getting crazy.
People on mobile phones making noise
Elderly on mobile phones with the speaker on so you can hear the other person.
Dogs
Toddlers
Keyboard warriors
Staff attitudes
Small portions / cheap ingredients
Wobbly and dirty tables
Poor toilet hygiene
Advertising screens (yes there was one in M & S today which really bright)

Anyone else the same?