I’m not still ruminating on this years later! Just curious really. A friend & I got talking about Brexit recently and I mentioned that my mum and her husband had voted leave, rolling my eyes as usual. Myself and everyone I knew were firmly remain, especially because my partner was from an EU country and I was pregnant with his child at the time of Brexit. My friend mentioned she thought it was “incredibly selfish” of my mum to have voted leave when her daughter was about to have a baby with someone who may not be allowed to stay in the country. I’d never really considered this. I’m used to my mum doing everything her latest husband tells her to and taking on all their opinions and values as her own, so it was down to this she voted leave. I doubt she would have if she’d been with the previous husband. Would you find this selfish if it were you?

What is going on with people on Vinted. I have been selling on there for a few years now and have never had any problem or complaint (over 150 items sold).

Nobody ever seems to buy an item at the price shown any more - you just get endless offers below the asking price. OK, but if I accept them and pack up the item, I never seem to hear back from the prospective buyer. Why do people make an offer which you accept and then never get back to you? It's infuriating.

Currently planning a surprise 30th birthday for my partner and catering it ourselves. It’s a family party so a mix of ages and some children there! Probably about 60-70 people coming.

I’ve never really done a buffet before but my current plan is this:

Ham sandwiches (1x platter)
Cheese sandwiches (1x platter)
Egg mayo sandwiches (1/2 platter)
Tuna sandwiches (1/2 platter)

Cherry Tomatoes (500g bag)
Celery
Carrots (1kg bag cut into sticks)
Cucumber (2 whole cucumbers)
Pepper (1 pack of 3 peppers)
All served with various dips

Mini sausage rolls (50)
Cocktail sausages (50)
Vegetable spring rolls (24)
quorn cocktail sausages (1 pack, only one vegetarian that I know of!)

Cheese & onion crisps
Sweet chilli crisps
Salted crisps
Tortilla chips
Onion ring crisps
(All one big share bag per flavour)

Chicken bites (72 pack)
Cheese pizza (x2)

Breadsticks (2 packs)
Coleslaw (1 pack)

Strawberries (2 packs)
Grapes (2 packs)
Watermelon (1)

Fairy cakes (24)
Mini flapjack (20)
Mini brownies (20)
Mini rolls (20)

Also doing some gluten free sandwiches and some gluten free cakes (only one person is wheat intolerant not coeliac so no cross contamination concerns)

Obviously a proper birthday cake as well!

Does this sound like a good spread of food? Too much or not enough?

Trying to stick to a budget where possible as the room hire was expensive!

Thanks in advance for advice!

Breaking news in the Daily Mail. Duke and Duchess of Sussex's children 'removed from school after two days' mol.im/a/16130877 via https://dailym.ai/android

I do wonder if there is actually any school that will be able to meet their expectations in regard to security. I'm interested to see how it all plays out.

A few weeks ago OH (80, frail) & I met up with his daughter-in-law & grandkids to give GK#1 a 21st birthday gift & congratulate her on her law degree. I know she was disappointed to “only” have got a 2:1 but it’s from a very famous university & bloody good.

They have had their struggles: their Dad (my stepson) went AWOL from parenthood ten years ago, they were illegally evicted & homeless.
We are very proud of them.

GK invited us to her graduation (on a Friday), we talked about planning the trip & what she wanted us to wear for the photos, & DiL getting a day of work, GK#2 taking the day off school to be there.
OH & I both understood we were being asked to book the accommodation for the 5 of us & travel together.

So I booked us a flat for 2 nights - Thursday & Friday - & forwarded the confirmation asking when we could go up on the Thursday so I could book train tickets.

No reply.

Left a voicemail in case they’d missed the email.

Emailed again.

Got a scolding reply from GK#1 telling me it’s HER big day and she’s shocked, SHOCKED I booked accommodation (after we both understood we were being asked to, & checking with her whether she’d need it too) & complaining her mum is finding it hard to get time off from work (which I do not think I can be blamed for).

So I have no idea what’s going on.

i replied that of course it’s her big day & up to her who she has there, that she might forgive me if I misunderstood what she wanted, & pointed out that it’s too late to cancel the booking, but she’s welcome to use the accommodation if she wants.

I said if she wanted her granddad there she should let us know.

It’s a trek for us to get there, & not cheap: OH is blind & i cant drive, so the earlier we can book train tickets the better.

Silence since then.

What to do?

Am I unreasonable to feel rather hurt by this?

I kind of know it is but can’t seem to stay away … anyone else?

Hi 👋
Wondering what’s going to replace this viral bag? (Handbag style: not rucksack)
I have a couple; they are bloody brilliant but are they becoming dated?
I love that I can stick them in the wash and the cross body means I don’t have to make an effort to keep it on my shoulder like I do with a tote or a shoulder bag.
So those who are ‘on trend’ …. What’s next after the Uniqlo one ? I suppose my style is quite Arket/ Uniqlo and I would consider leather but I don’t like anything twee or blingy…… and I hate those camera bags that say RIVER ISLAND or MICHAEL KORS down the strap.

I’m trying to declutter well in advance of downsizing. It’s a nightmare. I don’t want to just bin things that anyone else could make use of, and some of the things are expensive so it just feels wasteful.

We have a charity shop drive through (amazing) but I work full time in another town and can only go occasionally. Then they often won’t take a particular item - such as pictures - because they already have loads.

Vinted, eBay etc are so much work and can be hit and miss with people messing you about. I really cannot face a car boot. Even listing on Facebook for free is admin.

and what about things like old travel books? Can they just go in recycling? Card or paper? What about cosmetics and make up thats unused? You end up driving stuff round in the boot for months without getting rid of it.

A good friend confessed she just bins stuff but I cannot do that in good conscience. I can understand why it’s tempting though after spending all afternoon sorting and not evicting very much.

I'm not a royalist by any means so forgive me if this is common knowledge. I saw that George has moved to Eton and it made me wonder how normal of a school experience William and Kate's children have? I know many on mumsnet have dc at Eton or at least they say so so is George just an ordinary pupil there? Does he have a security guard around him at all times? Do the teachers/pupils have to call him by a title? Does he always get picked in games for the best positions because of who he is? In primary school (I know they aren't at the local infants' school, not sure what it's called though) can they go for play dates to their friends' houses or to the local park to play football after school?
Before anyone replies "who cares" work is very quiet at the moment!

If you sent a WhatsApp message which started off ‘Read this carefully, and to the end but then deleted it 8 hours later.
If the recipient then replied ‘I can’t read it if you’ve deleted it’ AIBU to presume they did actually read it and are lying?

CALL ME TRACEY, BECAUSE I AM LIVID

Hi, I need to re vamp my wardrobe for autumn/winter and need some advice on how to incorporate a bit of 'edgy chic'. I'm early 40's, 5ft 2, size 14/16 and hour glass shape with big boobs and a bit of a mum tum. I have dark hair and olive skin, so tend to suit darker/autumn colours. I need a couple of staple bits, and some clothes I can also wear for work ( casual dress code). I already have some chunky boots and a grey leather jacket. I went shopping today in local town and it was totally uninspiring!

Hi All,
I'd really appreciate some support or advice here as I feel in an awkward position. My ex husband and I divorced in 2023 and we have two sons who are now 7 and 10. He has since re-married and had another child with his new wife.
We have shared custody of the boys it works around 40%-60% split, with me having them a little more and usually sorting out all of the admin that comes with having kids.
So the problem started when my ex husband went on holiday abroad with his new wife and their daughter, but the boys were not invited. His mum helped with childcare, but my oldest was really upset and said "we're being dumped at Grans while they go on holiday" which I'm gutted about. My youngest is a bit more laid-back and was upset, but not to the same extent.
My oldest son has been having tantrums at his dad's and not behaving well. He's been great with me, very few issues and we have a really close relationship. His dad asked me to speak to him about the tantrums and bad behaviour. When we had a chat my oldest opened up about not feeling important to his dad, that they don't spend any time together, that the new daughter is the favourite etc. Firstly, I'm not sure how to feed that back to his dad. I feel it's not my place to be getting involved, but on the other hand, I want to advocate for my son and how this is making him feel.
Then there was another incident yesterday. I took the boys for haircuts cuts and they wanted to show their dad, so the boys did a video call and he was away in Ireland with his new wife and child. The boys didn't even know he was going to Ireland. After the video call they were both pretty upset and frustrated that their dad was away in Ireland and they hadn't been invited again.
I've tried reassuring them that they are loved and they know that, but I think my ex husband is really damaging his relationship with the boys, especially the oldest as they're being excluded from trips and holidays.
How can I approach this? It's such an awkward one as I don't really want to be the person telling him how his actions are impacting the boys. Our relationship is pretty fragile, there had been DV and lots of controlling behaviour so I don't think having that conversation will go down well.

I've got a leather crossbody camera bag with a wide canvas strap and I'm bored of it, feels like every other person has a variation on the same theme...but it's also really functional - right size, easy access, strap doesn't cut into shoulder, and works OK with most outfits (except v smart/dressy).

I'd like to replace it with something that feels a bit more current (or timeless!), but what? Ideally I want to tick the same boxes but change-up the style.

DD9’s friend has just moved house. In her room she has a built in cupboard which is double wardrobe sized. It’s currently empty so they have been playing in it.

DD is now pissed off that she only has one room, not two. Apparently it’s unfair that DH and I have all the other rooms in the house and won’t let her have a second one.

I am really struggling with my parents. Both are mid-sixties, retired. It seems since retirement they have become quite bigoted, insufferable and insular in their viewpoints. Every time I meet up with them conversations revolve around:

• Illegal immigration / people on benefits / Reform and Nigel Farage. Essentially focussing around the latest GB news story (which they watch religiously).
• Their latest or ongoing health ailments and how poor, in their view, the NHS is.
• Unnecessary and rude descriptions to describe other people (could be random strangers) or people they know. For example, ‘our fat neighbour has put on tons of weight.’

I used to have a fantastic relationship with my parents, particularly my father, and I’m sure he wasn’t always like this. I’m starting to dislike meeting up with them as their attitudes seem to have changed towards life and people in general, and they constantly want to discuss the latest GB News story.

Has anybody else found this has happened to their parents?

The Rules:
-The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating
-Develop a thick skin
-Do not invest emotionally too soon
-It’s all BS until it actually happens
-Trust your gut instinct
-People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault
-Know your worth
-If it's not fun, stop
-Loo update is mandatory
-No dating the thread
-Treat others as you'd like to be treated
-Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
-The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
If you're wondering if you're being too picky/should give another chance after the second chance/should try harder - the answer is invariably NO! You're not and you shouldn't. If this, now, is as good as it's going to get, the A game, then do you want what comes next?!
-OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item*

Me and my husband are both 35. We've been married for 6 years and have two children, and I'm currently pregnant with our third.

Around a year ago, my dad suddenly became very ill and was hospitalised for about a month. His insurance covered roughly 45% of the costs, but the remaining amount was still quite large.

I have an older brother and a younger sister. They're both married with children and have decent jobs, but me and my husband are higher earners, so we were in a position to contribute more. My siblings did contribute as well, but I paid the biggest share of the remaining hospital bills.

Thankfully, my dad recovered. After he left hospital, my mum and dad stayed with us for around 6 months because my dad needed regular hospital visits and support. Again, I covered most of the expenses, although my brother and sister also contributed.

For the last 4–5 months, though, I've noticed my MIL becoming quite cold towards me. Sometimes she seems to start arguments with me over things that don't really make sense. My SIL, who is my husband's younger sister, has also been distant. In June, she hosted a party and didn't invite either me or my husband.

About three weeks ago, we all stayed at my in-laws' house for 2–3 days. My MIL was clearly angry and eventually told me that I had "hijacked" her son and that we weren't really family anymore. She said I didn't consider them family and asked whether we ever thought about her health or what she wanted, because apparently we've spent so much money taking care of my family instead.

Honestly, that really hurt me.

She also said that my husband only has one sister, yet despite us earning well, we have never really helped her. I don't think that's entirely fair. My SIL and her husband both earn enough to live comfortably, and we do care about them. We regularly take her children shopping with ours, usually around once a month, and we send them gifts too. If they ever genuinely had a financial problem, of course we would help.

My MIL was crying and very angry when she said all this. My SIL was sitting there as well but didn't say anything.

The thing is, we were actually planning to tell them that I'm pregnant. The next day, we told them.

Nobody really reacted. Nobody congratulated us or even seemed happy. Me and my husband were both really upset.

Now it's been three weeks and neither my MIL nor SIL has called or messaged us. I invited my SIL and her family over this weekend, but she didn't answer my calls and didn't come.

My husband is really sad about the whole situation, and honestly, so am I. I don't understand what we've done that is so terrible. Yes, I helped my parents when my dad was seriously ill, and yes, I contributed more because I was able to. But does that mean I'm supposed to ignore my parents because my husband has a family too?

I love ice cream. A nice creamy strawberry ice cream, or maybe a raspberry ripple, or just plain vanilla. I'm happy to pay extra for good quality ice cream.

But one thing that has irked me in recent years is the prevalence of vegan ice cream being sold just as "ice cream". This is especially true at the theatre, where little tubs are sold during the interval and no where does it say the ice cream is vegan. Its too late when you've forked over £5 for a little tub of strawberry ice cream just to find out it's vegan and tastes nothing like a proper strawberry ice cream from the same brand.

For what it's worth, I'm vegetarian and eat a lot of vegan foods. For things like sorbet obviously it's no problem, but why ice cream?

Hello
My ds is part of a sports team. The team has two coaches with one of those being new this year. As parents we have minimal interaction with coaches other than a whatsapp chat where we comment each week on our kids availability for training and matches.
This morning I get a random whatsapp from the new coach asking if I am single as he has a friend that is interested in me. Very odd being as though I have never even spoken to this man but ok he doesn't know me so I politely reply stating that I am in a relationship so not interested. About an hour later I get another message from him saying thats a shame im not single as he was actually asking for himself and wants to know if i would like to meet him in secret this week for a bit of fun???? Wtf!! Just to add in this coach is married with a kid (who is in the team). His wife turns up at matches and they are always hugging and holding hands so clearly they are together.
I have left him on radio silence with no response but what the hell do i do here??? I hate any kind of drama so im inclined to just keep quiet about the whole thing as its the easy option for me but i feel so sorry for his wife and kid. This bloke doesnt even know me so clearly i assume he is a serial sleaze and i am far from the first woman he has done this to. I haven't even mentioned it to my partner as he will go mental and kick off with him.
I have my receipts as I noticed that he had set the messages to disappearing messages so i managed to screenshot them before they disappeared so I am able to prove my total innocence in the whole situation.
Am I right to keep quiet? I feel so guilty even though I have done absolutely nothing wrong. All advice welcome thanks :-)

I am expecting DD2 who is going to be born end of November, so right at the start of winter, and I’ve been eyeing up either a sheepskin pram liner or footmuff. I’m trying to take into consideration that she will be laid in the carrycot for a considerable portion of winter - I know sheepskin is supposed to keep them cosy in the cold, and regulate temperature in the heat, so I wondered if having a sheepskin liner (and then wearing a pramsuit, hat etc., and adding a blanket if it’s freezing) will be more useful throughout the various seasons than a footmuff? However my mum is of the opinion that a footmuff is better for winter.

I feel like I’ve completely forgotten the absolute basics! My eldest was a spring baby and I don’t recall using a footmuff with her until the following winter. If anyone can help me it would be greatly appreciated!

Okay, so myself, DH and baby were at a country park the other week. Baby was getting hungry so we sat ourselves down on a park bench and got some food out. A woman was walking with her family and dog and the dog must’ve smelt the food as it suddenly
comes bounding over and is jumping at baby (who is on DH knee) to get the food. We don’t know this dog and don’t know what it's capable of. I scream at the owner that we have a baby and to get her dog under control. At this point, she’s pretty far away and is taking her time to come over. My DH then kicks the dog to get it off them as it just will not stop. The woman wasn’t particularly apologetic and seemed shocked. Did we overreact?

I’ve been looking at ‘pet friendly’ holiday cottages in the UK to take our dog and pretty much all of them say dogs are not allowed on furniture or in bedrooms.

I don’t think I know anyone who’s dogs don’t jump on the sofa so how are you supposed to mange this - take loads of covers or just stay at home?

My partner is asking me for ideas as we have a budget for each other.

All I've come up with so far is

• book: the dark lords guide to honeymooning *dvd of frankenstein (guillermo del toro one)

Decent amount left over budget wise for more ideas but if I leave him to his own devices dh picks terrible gifts lol 😆 (i'm talking onesie 3 sizes too small etc)

It got me wondering what everyone is asking for for Xmas this year either from family, partners or to treat yourselves?

We have had a cleaner for coming up to 4 years now and she’s brilliant, no complains from us whatsoever.

The reason we have a cleaner is because, like most people who do, we find it makes life much easier with a young child, and both my DH and I working a substantial distance from home, about an hour to an hour and a half’s commute a few times a week plus starting this year, school drop offs and pick ups etc. Our lives are chaotic but nothing out of the ordinary for young-ish professionals with a young child, except maybe the substantial commutes. Having a cleaner is definitely a God send!

Apparently, however, today she pulled my husband aside as he was WFH and told him that we need to do better, because she needs to do a “hard factory reset” every time she comes over.

Our house was definitely messy today after a weekend where we hosted and were away on the Saturday! But we don’t leave disgusting messes, food, we don’t have bugs etc (feel ashamed to even have to say this!), we aren’t hoarders, and our house is just a normally messier than we’d like it to be but not disgusting by any means 3 bed. The best way to put this would be, I guess, if announced guests had popped up today I would not have thought it the best time and would have said “sorry for the mess” but I wouldn’t have been excessively worried or scrambling about to get the place ready, as I wouldn’t have thought there was anything particularly bad about it just not “visitor-ready” and messy.

I feel so embarrassed now though and mum guilt has kicked in - I keep thinking that there’s plenty of full time working parents who don’t have a cleaner so what am I doing wrong.

She only does 2 hours a week but she did start out doing 3, with the idea initially being that she would do the general clean in 2 hours and do one deep-cleaning thing each time, she is the one who asked for fewer hours. We pay above the average rate which is not me congratulating ourselves by any means and we never minded as she does do an excellent job, just to clarify we are not under-paying her or anything like that!

I guess I just feel a bit ashamed and don’t know if she had a point or was this weird? Presumably people have cleaners to clean and sometimes the house is not in top shape when your cleaner arrives, but I thought that was normal? As I said we never leave messes for her to deal with later on purpose or any disgusting things, but part of me can’t help but feel extremely ashamed and bad!