I live on a small lovely street. Nice mix of ages.
The rule for Halloween on our street has been "pumpkin outside - knock here for sweets" . Allowing those not wanting spooky ghouls at their door to have a quietish evening.

Is this the rule near you?

In recent years our street is named on Facebook posts as the place to be.... (fucking stop it - we dont want everyone here) It's crazy on our street. Its no longer the local streets nearby - but driving miles for a fucking Chewit.

The pumpkin rule is ignored.
Guess its not a known rule..?

And that really pisses me off. There's lots of reasons why people don't want hoards of groups ringing their doorbell for the evening.

I salute my neighbour who diligently eats her Ferarocho chocolates, saves the wrappers, pops in cherry tomatoes and hands the box round.

I'm coming up to 40, and my god, the last 3-4 years have got me looking bedraggled!

Working on a few things, but next on my hit list is my hair.
It is about mid-length (past the shoulders, around bra strap band level). It's really fine, but (for the time being) I still have quite a bit of hair.

I am starting to get small grey patches and while I know it's a normal part of aging, I wasn't quite ready for it yet and thought it may have started a bit later. Generally, its natural colour (sans greys) is dark blonde/light brown with some copper/red/strawberry undertones to it.

My hair isn't quite straight but it's not curly either, so always just looks a bit frizzy and unkempt. It definitely has some sort of wave to it.

Kicker is, I've got a really sever PPD allergy, so any conventional hair dying will send me to A&E.

I feel it's changed quite a bit in the last 5-6 years and not in a good way, but I can't quite put my finger on what/why except for aging....

Please help me S&B gurus - what can I do to get some oomph back into my hair and get it nice and shiny and swishy?

I mean really sit and think? And I don't mean worry

I remember before Dc and many years ago, spending time lying on the bed on a summer day or rainy, winter day, simply listening to music and thinking. Thinking about my past, childhood, friends, old romances. Wondering and dreaming about my future.,,

Does anyone actually still do this? I miss it

I don't know whether it's kids, less time or phones...but I don't do it anymore, even at night, I'm basically on my phone before I fall asleep.

Can't be good

I'm thinking of investing in my first pair of knee high boots, but am nervous about them being work appropriate!
Are these suitable, e.g. with an almost-knee-length skirt? I imagine I could also wear them with a miniskirt out of work

www.office.co.uk/view/product/office_catalog/2,17/4591300000

www.office.co.uk/view/product/office_catalog/2,17/5026200000

I work full time in a stressful job. Husband works 4 days a week . Leaves house at approx 6.40am and not back until 5.45pm
I get our 2 children up & out to school every day, bring one to bus stop in car, back home to bring other to school before I go to work. I remember all school event days, remember when instruments needed, organize Halloween / Christmas costumes, do homeworks, try to do dinner, do after school pick ups, organise & do hair/gp dental appointments. Think ahead about & organise or question any days we need additional childcare.
He does do a pick up from an activity on one evening during week and then on Friday when he’s off.
I have recently stopped going to my gym classes as feeling too much pressure to get things done before going & help support one of my children doing exams. (Too tired then after)
He goes to his own fitness workouts 2-3 times a week. They don’t really eat into time at home as two of them are very early at weekend. I was going to one of them at weekend at 9am. My daughter has to go somewhere at 10.15 so rushing to get back. It’s up to me to make sure she’s up & ready before we would leave for the class so she’s ready to walk out the door when we get back. I was doing it but today I didn’t push her to get ready. He got up at 8.25 and asked why I wasn’t going.. said she could get herself ready and then said I was making out that he was doing the wrong thing by going on to the class.
Ive recently stated counselling and my counsellor has said that I never seem to do anything for me. She’s right but he doesn’t seem to get it or see it. When I say anything he just says he can’t do anything as that’s his work. How does this change or is it just the norm?

I live alone and am sort of seeing a guy (it’s complicated) for a while, we’ve known each other a long time
he earns more than me and is living with his parent while he saves to buy a house (I already own)
his parent won’t allow visitors so he always comes to mine on average twice a week. He’s said as I cook, he uses my hot water for showers, drinks out the fridge, snacks, food etc he feels like he should pay something towards things and has offered £100pm

I cook usually as I enjoy it but if we get a takeaway he pays and will bring sweets/chocolate for me

I feel £100pm is too much, he says he doesn’t want to be a drain on me

So at a kids party for my sons football group, kids are 4-8 years old. Adults were encouraged to dress up so I've come as a cat, not one adult (apart from the coaches) have dressed up.
This is when I wish I was in America where everyone who does Halloween does it properly, the UK is so nervous about looking silly its so sad. I miss getting dressed up we used to do it every year in my 20's, all my friends are so boring now too.

This is intended as a friendly, kind, safe, warm and fuzzy place for people to share discounts, bargains and Christmas gift ideas both online and IRL. Please note the tone and intention of the thread and join with spirit as generous as DC helping themselves to the Christmas chocolate celebrations

Here’s some useful information about how to save the thread or a specific post so you don’t need to have a message to check in for every thread so you have the thread saved:
To watch the thread - click on the little bell that has ‘watch’ under my first message. This adds the whole thread to your ‘watched threads’
You can also bookmark a specific post by clicking on the ‘bookmark’ under the specific post. This saves your exact place in a thread but doesn’t alert you to new replies.
If you have any referral links or codes, please share them on the referral thread

www.mumsnet.com/talk/christmas/5444936-bargain-referrals-thread-8

A reminder that we don't use affiliated links on here please

🎄 Emoji to copy if required for posting bargains as some agree this makes deals easier to spot.

Will request this is deleted if someone more official beats me to it or if Reastie returns!

I read an awful news article on the way home. When I got back I was still feeling upset about it and told DH. He was upset with me for telling him about it! Should I have kept it to myself? I guess I do know that he doesn’t really like it when I shared stories that are a bit grim and I’ve never shared one like this before but I was so affected by it and wanted to talk about it.

I guess I’m just disappointed in him as he has lots of good qualities but he doesn’t even try to be a rock for me. If I ever share upset feelings with him it ends up making him even more upset. :(

What does your small child's friends call you?

My DD6 always calls her friends parents Mr or Mrs Surname. One of her friends called me by my first name. DD6 thought this was very rude and said so.

I've never instructed her that I can recall to say Mr/Mrs Surname!

What happens in your world?

My DH met a woman years ago before he knew me, and they hooked up a few times. She was very keen on a relationship with him but he wasn’t keen so they ended up being friends and she married someone else.

She never really had a lot in common with my DH but they work in the same industry so they know a group of the same people. Over the years she has remained in touch with him in a low key way, always small messages, hellos etc. Nothing suggestive of anything other than friendship. But DH isn’t really interested and sometimes doesn’t respond for a long time, but it goes on and on. It has now been decades and this woman is still low key around. AIBU in thinking this is a bit odd? She still messages and tries to maintain relevance, asking about things he’s interested in, hobbies etc. Why bother? She has her own husband, children and life, my DH largely ignores her.

Due to things going on at the moment for me, I am in a foul/sad/unhappy/miserable mood today. I am due to go to my friends house tonight, but:

1. she is making lasagne. I don't want bloody lasagne - no dinner put in front of me right now will cheer me up, I want dinner but couldn't tell you what I would want .. if anything
2. she has told me her 2 teen DD will be there for dinner too. No disrespect to her DDs, they are lovely, but I can just as well sit at home with my DDs and have dinner, which I might as well do if her DD will be with us ? why would I want to sit with her DDs when I can play happy families at home with mine? no malice or sarcasm intended by that

I probably sound ungrateful for her inviting me and offering dinner. Imo, my friend just wants the adult conversation/company, rather than spend the eve with her just her DDs who just sit on their phones all eve, if not in their rooms - but that is not my problem.

DS has unfortunately woken up today feeling ill and he's been sick a few times. I am not letting him out trick or treating in his condition, obviously. It's rotten luck and he's of course disappointed.

His older sister will be going round the neighbourhood with her friends. Do you think it would be OK for her to ask for one for her ill brother as well, to have when he's feeling better? I'm not sure if it's rude or not or people might think she was taking the piss?

Or I could ask her to share what she gets as it's always an awful lot but that doesn't seem all that fair to her.

I know I could just buy him a load of sweets but part of the fun is getting such a wide selection from all the different houses and he's already going to miss the main fun of dressing up and going round in the dark seeing all the decorations. But I will just do this for him if it's the best option?

What do you reckon?

Last year a new family moved in next door. They have 2 little girls (7&4) my DD is 6 so I was delighted to see kids of similar age moving in. They are a lovely family I get on really well with the parents especially the mum and initially it seemed like the kids enjoyed playing together while we had a coffee. However their older girl 7 doesn't really "play" with kids in the usual sense, she prefers to play alone beside them and will only engage to direct the other children then can react badly if children don't play out the game exactly as she has it in her head. Eg older child will insist on only playing school and always being the teacher and will tell the others what to say and do and get very upset if they don't comply. She is a lovely child extremely smart just very rigid in her way of playing and can also be painfully honest she doesn't mean to hurt people's feelings but she does.
Its led to my DD really disliking the older girl so she Doesn't want to play with her anymore. She loves the younger DD but the sisters come as a package obviously. I won't force my DD to play with someone she doesn't want to but I do feel bad for the the older DD I suspect she has some ND but the mother has never mentioned it to me so its not like i can use this as a way to speak to my DD about kids with autism etc.

I just don't know how to say it to the mum. She's been inviting me over with my DD for a coffee/playdate and I've kept putting her off saying im busy with work I don't want to say "sorry my kid doesn't want to play with your kid" as it seems kind of mean even if it's truthful.

What would you do?

Like pretty much everyone on S&B I've been despairing of the quality of M&S knickers these days. I would like to extend this despair also to socks and t-shirts. Everything is poor quality fabric and just doesn't last very long.

I need to get new knickers, socks, comfortable jogging bottoms (not leggings!), t-shirts. Just the basics but I'm finding that my usual purchases are not lasting well. For example, I have M&S pants bought ten years ago that are better quality than some bought last year. Same with socks - they just go holey within a year.

Does anyone have any recommendations? My Instagram algorithm is now giving me lots of small, British makers but I have no idea whether they are any good. Would love some recommendations of brands where it's actually worth spending the money!

I’m pulling my hair out looking for a 100% wool jacket. Even the “high end” brands are all blending with polyester! I’d be very grateful if anyone has seen any 100% wool jackets recently and can share with me

I am in the market for a pair of black loafers to wear with jeans and a nice jumper all winter. I think I like the chunkier ones (à la Claudia winkleman traitors) but there seems to be such a fine line between Claudia and Kickers school shoes in the early 2000s…

my budget is 200£ for the right pair but I’d rather spend less obviously. Has anyone seen anything like this?

some ideas attached. The coach ones might be too chunky…

We’re going to an organised night at a very swanky club in the US

bearing in mind I haven’t been into a club in about 25 years, I’m 51, slim, tall, have cowboy boots, won’t wear heels

what the hell am I going to wear

(temp will be about 20 degrees)

Asking for some ideas about where i can go on boxing day. Nc because I am embarrassed writing this.

My bil, his wife and 2 kids (6 and 10) are joining me, my husband, and our 2 (16 and 17). They arrive 24th and leave 27th.

Bil is loud, a loud parent and has lots of vocal fun every time he is here. We have spent other xmas at their mum's house (the kids granny, my mil, husband and bil mum). But she has mild dementia and there both bil and my families share all the work planning, prepping, tidying up etc.

Bil lives in another country and he said this year he wants to 'be hosted ' for xmas - ie just come to our house and not their mother's.

We have hosted them before so it will be ok. I can manage xmas day if I just cook all day. I dont think bil is my biggest fan and I find him overbearing.

I have a personality disorder of eupd - it is the 'quiet' version which means I turn all my turmoil inside. Although I can somehow make everyone think im a dick at times and I hate this about myself I find it very hard to stop when its all going that way.

So, my q - where can I go on boxing day? I dont think i will cope the whole break with them.
My parents sadly deceased and my siblings are either hosting others or have small abodes where they cant invite me.
.. Airbnb for 1 night? Hotel for 1 night?

I guess they are my only options. Is it insane to be planning this?

I don’t know if anyone agrees with me, but I find people who keep their good news to themselves for a while before sharing it with friends & family really annoying !!

As an example, one of my friends got engaged and then made a big thing of telling everyone that they’d not told anyone for a week so as not to spoil their bubble. I obviously wasn’t expecting to be top of the list but felt sad for her family who she kept in the dark and then found it quite strange that they made a big point of telling everyone that they’d hadn’t told anyone !!

And my SIL is pregnant and will tell us all the date & time of her scans but then wait for a day or two before telling anyone how it went which then makes everyone worry that something is wrong !!

I know people say they want to prolong their bubble of happiness but I just don’t get how telling people and allowing loved ones to be part of your good news somehow takes the special feeling away ?!?!

Need a reality check, or a wobble not sure. Interested in general consensus as feeling hormonal today so perhaps I’m not being rational.

Been going out with bf for two years, both divorcees and late 40s. He lives in a block of flats and obviously knows a few of his neighbours. One neighbour is a single mum with a very young kid who takes a shine to my BF, who is really great with kids. They aren’t close friends but BF will get her little one a token birthday gift etc. The single mum doesn’t really know me other than passing conversation when I’m visiting BF, but she knows I exist.

Anyway. She got a family box for a sports match for her immediate family, and her two brothers dropped out so she invited my BF and my BF’s teenage son to go too. Don’t know if she mentioned me when she offered the tickets, it’s my BF’s fave sport and team so wasn’t a stretch as to why she thought of him but I didn’t think they were that close. Found out there was room for two more people, so I could have gone.

Felt uncomfortable about this but haven’t seen BF yet to have a conversation. A good friend said she’d feel uncomfortable too, more so that the girl didn’t acknowledge me.

Trust my BF so I’m not worried about anything happening, but feels a bit off that she’d invite my BF and wondering whether to start being wary or whether this is a normal thing between friends. Like I said, feeling hormonal and sensitive in general today so aware my compass might be a bit off. Or spot on.

Thoughts?

Looking to get some new ones for Christmas. DC are 10 and 8, we’ve enjoyed kiddy ones in the past but they are probably old enough for more grown up ones now. We have:

monopoly
cluedo
scrabble
mousetrap
uno
dobble
sushi go
exploding kittens

Thanks!

I’ve been thinking a lot about expectations vs reality. We all imagine what our children might be like as they grow up, but life doesn’t always match the picture in our heads.
Do other parents ever feel a sense of disappointment — not in a cruel way, just a quiet, uncomfortable feeling you don’t want to say out loud? And if so, how do you deal with it without letting it affect your relationship with your child?

I joined Match2Me, paid my money and uploaded my photo but not my profile, choosing the incognito option I was then blocked and now can't seem to unblock myself again. I have been told that it's virtually impossible to unblock myself and that I'll be blocked from all dating apps now. This was a big step for me and I now feel very upset. If anybody knows how I can unblock myself I'd be grateful.

Daughter (16 in a couple of weeks) is trying to find a dress for her school’s Winter Ball. It’s a reasonably formal occasion but she’s quite alternative in style (into punk, riot grrrl music). She likes these (in photos) that she’s found on Vinted / eBay - but they’re not the right sizes - and she’s tried on a French Connection dress that she likes, but isn’t completely sold on yet.

Requirements:

• knee-length or midi
• preferably not black (she’d like burgundy, red, blue or - at a push - pink), although she hasn’t ruled out black altogether
• thin straps (not sleeveless, not sleeved) or halter
• Size 8-10 (depending on sizing - the French Connection dress was much too big in a 10 but she’s usually a 10 elsewhere)
• Under £100

She really likes the neckline on the burgundy one (that’s the French Connection one).

Can anyone help us find her ideal dress? I’ve looked at so many now that I don’t know my left from right!