New neighbour has asked us to stop construction on new home until daughter has finished exams.

[Grammarninja]

This is such a tricky one for me. We bought a house that needed a complete overhaul a year ago. We've finally gotten through architects, planning permission and trying to find affordable builders etc. It has been stressful.
We broke ground this week and the neighbours have asked us to stop until dd has finished her exams in 3 weeks.
I really feel for the family and can't imagine how upsetting it must be for them at this crucial time (we had no idea they had a child sitting exams this summer). My husband has offered them an office at his work around the corner to facilitate study. I wouldn't mind postponing if it wouldn't cost us 30k to do so as builders are working to a set time frame. I wouldn't even mind the extra costs we'd incur through having to stay in our current accommodation for another month if it weren't for the builders' costs which we simply can't afford.
I'm worried now that we're going to start off on a terrible note with our new neighbours which would be such a shame considering my current neighbours are like family.
Are we being unreasonable to continue with the build in these circumstances?

Yeah, of course you can't lose £30k for the daughter's exams. She can study in the school library during the day if it's too noisy and your work won't be going on at evenings or weekends.

Yeah it’s very unfortunate but there other options for her so don’t pander to them. They don’t rule the street and I doubt would loose 30k for you if the roles were reversed.

Tbh OP I think your neighbours are extremely cheeky even asking you to hold up your construction work.
Your H's response has been more than reasonable.

Nope, sorry neighbours, she can go to the library if she wants to study during the day.

Have you explained to them it would cost you £30k to comply with their request? Surely anyone reasonable is going to see that you couldn’t possibly do that. Assuming your builders are obeying regs it won’t be early morning and evenings and not weekends. And she can use library at school. It’s not ideal and I sympathise - I endured similar during my A levels for different reasons - but they surely can’t expect you to shell out £30k. Unless they’re gonna pay it …

They will hate you forever and you will deserve it.

You've been faffing around for a year from their perspective, then suddenly you want to make their daughters life harder while you live elsewhere so the noise and disruption doesn't bother you.

Don't most teens wear earbuds these days?
Obviously you live your life.

I feel for them as I'd have hated it if my dc had the option taken away to study at home or even have a nap after an exam if they'd not slept well etc. I guess you'll have to say no to them though.

Have you ever been next door to a house where an angle grinder is being used? Ear buds won’t touch the sides

What a load of nonsense. She will be at school during the day doing the exams and revising in the evenings so can't see she will be disturbed much anyway. If she's at home during the day she can go to school or the library, or use some noise cancelling headphones.

Can u find some kind of compromise

My teens wouldn’t hear it. They don’t hear anything because they’ve always got the bloody ear buds in or head phones on. Why on earth would these people not explore those options first. Madness!

Wtf
They don't "want to" make the kids life harder. It's an unavoidable side effect of the building work. Shit happens. They've been nice to offer an office.

They’re being unreasonable.

we asked our neighbours if they could try to avoid doing noisy work while our DD was doing her university finals from home in 2021 - but just for the duration of the actual exams, not during all her revision. (Obviously this was during Covid restrictions so she had no option but to be at home)

Absolutely bonkers request.
Do the cars stop driving by and the dogs stop barking for exams? If their daughter can’t function with some background noise then it’s a lifeskill she’s do well to learn. Until then, there are earplugs, noise cancelling headphones, libraries, and your extremely generous offer of an alternative space.

tell them to pay for the costs of the delay?

it is unfortunate for the daughter, but that's life.

They are showing their true colours, where will it end, down cut the grass at x time, don’t do this or that, I mean it’s more to get on, what be reasonable she won’t be studying the whole time

What a silly and ignorant comment!

When you've had kids go through GCSEs or A Levels you understand their point of view more. It's a stressful time without having to be banished from their house due to angle grinders etc

Buy her some really nice noise cancelling earphones and explain delaying the work just isn’t possible.

How rude.

What stupid comment, displaying total ignorance around how complicated it is to get Architect and plans in order and commission builders. Of course the neighbours is being totally unreasonable. Your DH has gone well above and beyond by offering a space.

I agree with the pps. You can’t afford to lose £30k and you shouldn’t take on any extra costs due to postponing. It’s completely unreasonable to postpone unless the neighbours are willing to cover all those costs. Their dd has other options for studying, including one your dh has proposed, plus evenings and weekends will be quiet as well. Do not postpone your build.

Honestly just explain it to them like that.

”I’m sorry, I have checked. If we delayed the work for three weeks it would cost us £30,000. There’s no way around it, those costs are fixed. So I’m afraid the work will have to continue, but your daughter is welcome to use the office space around the corner.”

Nobody sane would expect you to spend £30k on their daughter’s exams so if they fall out with you over this then you are best off having nothing to do with them anyway!

There is of course the option of delaying the work if your neighbours are willing to cough up the £30k themselves.