AIBU to think a swearing shopper should have been asked to leave?

[Nofunnybusiness]

In a small charity shop with DC3, a man with what appears to be learning /speach difficulties appears agitated and starts repeatedly telling the x2 men he is with (assume his carers) to F Off. The other men do not seem to be doing anything to calm the situation or stop him swearing. A member of staff walks past and appologies to me for his language, I ask if the manager is about and if he can be asked to leave the shop. Another shopper hears this and is absolutely horrified that I have asked if he can leave, her view is that we should just ignore him as he doesn't know what he is saying (I'm not convinced about that). The shop lady did say she was not going to ask him to leave and they did leave quite quickly after that, although not straight away. Generally interested to hear your thoughts!

My thoughts are that you don't sound like a very nice person.

If it bothered you so much why didn't you leave? The fact that the person had 2 carers with them should tell you everything.

So many angles of why no, they shouldn’t be asked to leave by a member of (likely voluntary) staff.

If he did become abusive towards the staff why should they have to deal with it, especially when they’re likely volunteers.

He likely had Tourette’s/mental health issues hence the workers with him.

Agreed

What exactly is your problem? He was clearly disabled, with his carers and presented no threat whatsoever to you. Does your right not to hear words you don’t like trump a disabled person’s right to go shopping? Your priorities might need a tweak.

No as that would be illegal disability discrimination.
@Nofunnybusiness why are you advocating disability discrimination rather than leaving yourself with your dd if you have an issue with a person's disability

I understand you don't what you DC around someone swearing but the answer isn't to ask the shop to ask the man to leave, it is to leave with your DC.

It would have been great if he wasn’t there, Obviously. If someone took him in there, they should have taken him out, and if he wandered in on his own, it would have been great if he could have been escorted away. Nobody wants to be subjected to his abusive language. It must have been absolutely horrible for the staff as well as everyone in the shop.

Unless he was there to look at items relating to his special interest why had the carers taken him in a charity shop in the first place? May not have been his choice.
He could have been bored or facing sensory overload. Sounds like he might have been expressing his displeasure and the carers were using a planned ignoring technique. Also could have been echolalia or Tourette’s.
I certainly would not have made a fuss or complained but just left if I had a young child with me.

YABU, you should have left.

Why would he be asked to leave? Genuinely, I'mbaffled.... swear words aren't illegal. If you don't want your kids to hear them, you leave.

It's not ideal but if the man isn't doing anything dangerous you need to let this go.

You’re bafflement strongly suggests you have normalised living around abusive language. I’m sorry.

If someone has two carers it's apparent they have additional needs. Asking for him to be removed from the shop could have escalated the situation and increased the risk to everyone.

No, absolutely not. I actually very very rarely swear. But if I was out in public and took offense to other people's language (or actions etc) I would use my legs and leave... like a grown up.

Did you lose use of your own feet OP?
You had far more control in that situation than anyone else.
I don't like swearing generally and wouldn't have had it around my DC so would've left.

Lots of people swear on here (and presumably not all have LD)-why use this if swearing bothers you so much? And what of children in your child's class (the majority of people using a site called mumsnet probably have or are considering having a chlid)-they might have additional needs causing swearing?

You wanted a person with learning difficulties to leave a charity shop because he was swearing? Oh no, however will your ears recover. Just leave if you’re so delicate.

If someone has an obvious learning difficulty Id be much more accepting than someone who doesn't. The other day my dh and I were walking over a footbridge and a couple who were behind us were having a heated discussion and both were swearing at each other angrily! My personal thought was id rather be alone than live like that, but I felt sorry for the family with 2 small kids ahead of us who kept turning round.
I hate that ut seems so normal nowadays ! I do swear but not in public or near kids and I would leave partner if they spoke to me like these 2 were!

Are you taking the actual piss ?

Quite the opposite, she sounds like she is a person with high standards for how to behave in public.

Tbh in your shoes I would have left the shop immediately , men behaving like that make me very anxious (for good reasons), and situations like that amongst men often escalate. I value my safety. The older i get the more i take care if myself, i don't care WHY a man is behaving like that, I'm just a bit fed up of men being generally nasty in public, and often towards older women (though obvs not in this instance, but who knows,he was obviously out if control).

Why is it always just women who are told to 'be nice'?

I’m sorry you want to collude with disempowering the well in order to give favour to the unwell.

If there were children present or the language was insulting to staff i might have asked him to leave.
I was paying for shopping at the supermarket with my DS once. The guy 2 people back from me started to hurl personal insults at the cashier. I said something like "Oi, there's children present!" but he continued harassing her. So when she handed me my receipt I whispered to her that I was going to find a manager to take control and relieve her from till work. Found one at customer services and he was booted out.