I have got my daughter and her little boy who is only one back living at home due a change in circumstances.

My son doesn’t live here anymore but he comes and goes as he pleases as he’s still a young 25 and I know I’m very lucky he pops in.

My daughter struggles to get her son to sleep and can be up there ages setting him and so when her brother comes around it usually wakes him up and she gets frustrated. However my son doesn’t seem phased by this as he doesn’t feel it’s his responsibility to be quiet and not wake him up, he doesn’t come until after 8 and little one goes up at 7.
My daughter suggested he doesn’t come around in the evenings after work and only comes at the weekend before she puts him down but he has always pops in after work, not for long but he does wake the baby when he comes.
I don’t know what to say about it, I want my son to feel welcome anytime, he’s autistic and doesn’t mean to be loud but has a loud laugh and voice so it’s not just a case of asking him to tone it down as that’s just how he is and I am very accepting of this and would never want him to feel he couldn’t be himself in the home but I also understand how frustrating it is for our daughter when he walks in cheerily and his voice wakes him up again.

He doesn’t come in every night just once or twice a week and I love to see him. I don’t want to put restrictions on him because he’s likely to feel unwelcome or an inconvenience and that’s not the case as I’ve always said either can come anytime.

AIBU to think it’s just something she will have to deal with while she’s here or am I not being fair?

I live in a terraced house. My neighbours have painted the back of their house bright blue (think swimming pool blue / like the Mikanos blue). It is horrible and looms over my garden. It’s really going to spoil my enjoyment of my space to have to look at this every day. I spoke to the wife earlier this morning and said it was not to my taste and would they consider changing and she said ‘the beige of your house isn’t to my taste but it’s your house. This is my house.’ And shut the door in my face. WIBU to report them to the council? Can I even do so? Surely you can’t just paint any offensive colour and expect neighbours to live alongside it?

Fully expecting to be told this is my own fault for not looking into it properly but need a vent all the same!

A year ago I moved into an end of terrace house. There is the usual easement arrangement with the adjoining neighbour that they can get access to their back garden via my back garden. I know that is pretty standard and I was obviously aware of it when I purchased. Since moving in however it's become clear that they use it as their primary entrance. They never use their front door. They have a sign on the front door telling post man/ couriers etc to go round the back. Again, wouldn't necessarily be a big issue except that there seems to CONSTANTLY be someone walking through! It's an older lady living there with her grandson. He is late teens/ early 20s maybe and in and out like a yo-yo, no exaggeration. Ditto her boyfriend, her dog walker, her cleaner, her food shop, couriers (she gets at least two packages a day!) .... The latter particularly pisses me off because they often don't close my gate behind them. I have an OAP dog and 4 children, the youngest of whom is 4. It'd take literal seconds to slip out of the garden without anyone noticing 😠 And frankly, now that its summer time it just feels quite intrusive. Strangers walking in and out while my children are playing. I stupidly feel awkward sitting outside to read a book even though it's my fucking garden!

Is it even a legal thing to say that they are over using their access?!

Should also add that I would probably mind all this less except that at the end of last year the handle of my gate broke. It was the week before Christmas and I didn't have time or money to fix it and it wasn't particularly a priority for me, but I told the neighbour I would sort it after Christmas, quite reasonably I thought. (I have a side door so actually rarely use the gate). Neighbour told me I had to fix it because it is "YOUR gate" and "a public right of way" (it isn't 🤣).Then proceeded to tell all the other neighbours that I was "refusing" to fix it because I didn't use it and that she "couldn't even get her food delivered" and would "rather die than use the front door"... After a week of hassle and harassment I ended up getting a friend's husband to fix it for free and neighbour has since apologised but... I don't know, it just left a sour taste.

Is there anything I can do? Do I just have to wait for her to move/die?? 🙈

How do you choose a husband?

AIBU to think that walking sandals and flip flops are not professional workwear? Yes, it’s been ridiculously hot, but I don’t want to see brittle yellow toenails, crusty dry skin and, in one case, flakes and chunks of skin hanging off the manky trotters of my colleagues 🤮 At the very least, if we are going to be subjected to your toe cleavage, have a pedicure first. And don’t get me started on the smelly ones!

Had a few beers with a good friend recently and got a bit tipsy and we got into his dating life. He told me that he’s been seeing a 66 year old grandmother. He is only 37 for reference. They met via online dating.

To be clear, there is nothing wrong with this but I’m just a bit shocked to be honest. He says that they enjoy each other’s company and there is no intention of it developing into anything more.

My friend has always dated younger women and not short of female attention at all.

It’s all good right?

I was at Take That but London was heaving … check these numbers out..

Six massive headline concerts. One city.
🎤 Harry Styles — Wembley Stadium (~90,000)
🎤 Take That — London Stadium (~70,000-80,000)
🎤 Bad Bunny — Tottenham Hotspur Stadium (~60,000)
🎤 Garth Brooks — BST Hyde Park (~65,000)
🎤 Lily Allen — The O2 (~20,000)
🎤 Kneecap — Crystal Palace Park (~25,000)

That’s around 330,000 people at these six shows alone!

various music festivals going on up and down the country … if you can get out to Dublin or Manchester to see the lads! They were phenomenal! Seeing Harry next week!!

"They're easier". Yes....easier for the sender only, not the recipient!

They have a function occasionally (i.e. if something is hard to explain and needs a bit of extra context) but other than that they're just lazy.

And the rambling ones... just no. Please organise your thoughts before you share them.

AIBU?

I have zero idea if I’m losing my mind. My DP is a bit moody but I’ve never known this period time of him being moody. We live together and have done for 3 years. He has 2 children from a previous relationship.

I thought it was the heat, so didn’t say much about it. Didn’t initiate any contact, no physical affection, just generally shitty and snappy with him. Examples like, if I made his children dinner I’d given them the wrong plates (the ones we always use), and that you don’t eat potatoes with a fork. The kids then mimicked him and made me look stupid “silly Minnie doesn’t know how to eat potatoes”.

He recently told me he wanted to reduce his drinking and “not take the piss” as he’s out near enough every night and then goes to the pub after with his mates for around an hour. Sometimes this means I’m left with the kids alone, albeit they’re asleep. So I took his word for that, but on Friday he did his hobby and then went the pub… I pointed his out and he said “I don’t need your judgements, it’s the weekend”.

I tried to be nice to him all weekend, went to see him do his hobby all day on Saturday and bought the kids games they’d wanted. But he’s just been so so cold - not talking, one word answers, just moody.

I was paying our bills last night and he was muttering under his breath that I was texting and not watching the tv with him… what?

Also tmi but we usually have sex daily but haven’t for around a week now.

I asked him if anything was wrong but he said im paranoid, im creating a strange narrative in my head and im being very strange.

Today he came in with his kids to my home office and they all started playing there. I politely asked them to go downstairs til id finished. Dp smirked at me. I said “this is what i mean, what’s up?” And he told me to go to a doctor.

I’m so fed up with my life.

I have a couple of Birkenstocks in different colors but wanted something a bit more structured that could look good both with jeans and work trousers or skirt.
I like chunky sandals but I am quite short and a size 12 so don’t want anything that makes me look too bulky.
I need them to be comfy - budget up to £120.
Brands I usually like are Sezane, Esska, Jonak etc.

My husband doesn't like the heat which means that for every day this week during the heatwave, we made an agreement that I'll been the one doing errands, nipping to the shops, and doing both morning and afternoon school runs. In return, he will ensure chores are done and cook dinner.

He works from home so therefore has had no need to leave the house.

Except, he's spent nearly a week walking around in just a pair of pants. No other clothing. He at least changes those pants daily (and sometimes twice a day), but I have not seen a t shirt on him all week nor a pair of shorts. I can't remember the last time he wore a pair of trousers.

I get that it's hot but i'm sick of the sight of his bare chest and legs. He is also bald so he looks like a giant newborn wearing a nappy.

He has somehow managed to do every work Teams call this week with the camera off.

We've also had quite a few deliveries this weekend, largely his, which I've had to run and open because he runs and hides from the window (while giggling) in case they clock he's only wearing pants.

I've asked him to put clothes on but it's fallen on deaf ears.

It's only 23 degrees today, AIBU to insist he puts some clothes on?

Posting for traffic. Has anybody been through this? Close relative, relatively young 50s), was found incoherent last Wednesday. Rushed to hospital straight to ICU as she'd fallen into a coma. They've kept her asleep, tried to wake her twice and she cannot breath on her own whatsoever. They've ran repeated scans which show due to the heat stroke damage the part of her brain that tells her to breath is severely damaged. They've pretty much said she's incompatible with life now and we will have to turn the machines off this week unless by some miracle she wakes up. Her core temp was 41 degrees for 4 days, she's now at 40. Not responded to any medication, antibiotics etc.

She wasn't even doing anything strenuous. Just in her flat watching telly. Has anyone been through this? Does anyone have any advice? I don't even know what to think and feel it just seems so so cruel. No brain bleeds or blockages on the scan. Substantial brain swelling and damage.

posting for traffic as can't see any similar threads

Any advice or miracle stories please send them my way. Thank you x

I am 64 years of age . Two years ago my husband decided to leave the marital bedroom as he said he felt disrespected and unappreciated. I still don’t know why .

we went to marriage counselling which I felt for him was only ticking boxes and he told councillor he had fallen out of love

He has not given me any money in the last two years but he does pay bills as I am on minimum wage as I job share .

we would have been fourty years married this year and I am absolutely devastated. I have lost everything because of this joint friends , plans for the future .

He has now split house in half put up walls and doors and made a lovely new sitting room upstairs for himself .

He has gone on plenty of trips and got rid of some of my furniture without consultation.

I want to see how I can be financially stable but am told over and over again by solicitors that the only way this can be done is by divorce which willl cost thousands .My husband earns way more than me and can continue earning lge sums as he is a business advisor.

I am in such a dilemma I don’t want to be know as the ex wife. I’m too old now to meet someone else .and I want a Judiscial separation not divorce but don’t know if that is possible. Can’t find a separation group anywhere .

A divorce will cost over 40,000 for the two , I am petrified for myself financially

I have a friend staying with me at the moment because it's just been my birthday.

I have been having treatment for breast cancer and have had no appetite for several weeks. Today I had a craving for pizza and have eaten a large pizza and some chips. I've also eaten most of a bar of green and blacks chocolate today too, along with some other bits.

Friend isn't very impressed and has said several times I need to eat healthy food. She's very much into healthy eating and is very disciplined about what she eats.

I've explained that my consultant says to eat whatever I fancy when I fancy and not worry about what I'm eating as long as I'm getting calories. I have long nearly two stone from chemo side effects, for context.

Friend disagreed with this and said I shouldn't be eating "processed crap" because it's just going to make the cancer worse.

I'm extremely upset by her attitude and what she's said. She's gone up to bed and I'm sitting in the garden with my dog feeling awful. She's meant to be staying until wed but I'm going to ask her to leave in the morning.

Wibu?

Andy Burnham is proposing to govern from Manchester when he starts on July 20th.How can this be so ? Surely all previous governments have been based in London?

Is anyone having issues with Amazon deliveries where they now just plink the parcel on your front door step- don’t even knock- then bugger off?

it’s now happening every time (so say my last 30 deliveries) and it’s really pissing me off.
could it be the drivers in my area only or is this a nationwide thing?

I know they’ll be under pressure to get their deliveries done but dumping and running is so frustrating.
it’s only a matter of time until one of my parcels is stolen.

Omg I was at secondary school many moons ago but very glad we never had to go in wearing PE kit all day. I would’ve been mortified to sit in a classroom with my (in my head) horrible legs out on show.

Don’t know if this really AIBU or a question!
AIBU to think that shorts have become way too short ?
I have seen a LOT of girls in shorts today - with their bum cheeks hanging out the bottom ! Personally I wouldn’t let my daughter out like that. And I wouldn’t were them myself (I would give everyone nightmares !).
so what’s the consensus on bums hanging out of shorts ?

My husband told his ex-partner — the mother of his two oldest children — a year ago that he planned to leave his job within the next 12 months. She has never worked, and for the last 9 years he has paid her £1,500 per month voluntarily, even though the Child Maintenance Service calculates the correct amount should only be around £300.

The kids stayed with us for 10 nights a month, matching my husband’s days off. Between us, we did all school runs, clubs, meals, and bedtime routines — returning them to their mother around 8pm each evening. They couldn’t stay more nights because my husband’s shift pattern meant leaving at 5pm, driving 2 hours, working until 7am, and getting home by 9am. This would have left me alone caring for all 5 children while also working, handling all household tasks, and managing their activities. Meanwhile, their mother only had to put them to bed around 9pm, yet received far more money than required. We also take all five children to their clubs and activities every weekend.

My husband has now left that job — he was exhausted, and after 12 years of hard work, my own business has become successful enough for me to be the main earner. He reminded his ex repeatedly over the year that this change was coming and that his income would no longer support those higher payments.

He explained that he is now available full-time: he can offer full custody, 50/50 shared care, or flexible arrangements — whatever works for the children. He will be there for school runs, sickness, doctors’ appointments, school events, and anything else they need. The only change is that he can no longer make those payments.

This has caused a huge reaction. She is angry, calling him names and saying she won’t be able to afford her home. He asked her to consider getting a job, or for her new partner to contribute financially ( he does not work either) but she has threatened to involve a solicitor — claiming that if my husband stops paying, I must cover the cost because I’m so flush.

I do not believe this is my responsibility. To keep things calm, I offered to pay the £500 per month which sis still more that what the CMS says is the correct amount, but this is still not enough for her. She won’t stop us seeing the children, as she only cares for them a few hours a day and enjoys having her evenings free with her partner.

My main worry is whether there is any legal loophole that would force my husband to keep paying that higher sum just to maintain her lifestyle?

Been eyeing this up for a few months now and it’s gone into the sale, yippee! The only thing is, it’s still £228. It’s probably a little more than I would like to spend considering I got something very similar on the high street for about £60 a few years ago in green and I’d like to buy a hat as well, so I’m wondering if I might still find something similar or if anyone has spotted anything similar recently? Or does anyone have it and can vouch for it? For context it’s a summer wedding, it’s mostly viscose so better value and more breathable than polyester I suppose Would probably need the pink one in the pic taken up as the petite version is sold out.

I am just so fed up.
I have lost over 100lbs and maintained for 2 years now.
I always thought my belly would bother me but I don't really care much aboutnit but my boobs distress me so much.

At my biggest I had huge boobs. I've breastfed 3 times too.

I am now 8stone 10lbs and my boobs are very sagged.

I went to M&S months ago and they fitted me at a 34DD and I bought some full cup bras. I tried on some 'nice' bras but non of them fit at all.

My breasts are long and flat so I can't get any lift or illusion of cleavage even though there is a decent amount of tissue.

So M&S put me at 34 DD.

Those bras just have a massive gap in them but I think me and the fitter were just fed up by that point so I bought them and they look OK under tshirts.

So last night I did the home measurements things and came out at a 32C/D

My 18yo daughter is a 32D so I asked if I could try one of her bras on (a primark cheapie) and I was just hanging over the cup , like 50% out.

So went to John Lewis today. Told her I had on the M&S 34DD and she measured me at 31inches under the bust.
Agreed there was a lot of gape in the cup and suggested I try 32D.

Got about 4 styles and non of them fit.
Band was too tight and hanging out of all cups. No lift.

So she says to try either a 32DD or a 34D.
The 32DD just left me looking saggy AF with like a weird double boob. And the 34 D fit a bit better in one style and the other 4 I tried on didn't fit.

I spill out under the band, under my armpits.
My breasts are wide, long and flat. They dont stay in the middle like they're supposed to.

Once again woman looked baffled and didn't really help.

I can't have sex anymore with my bra off so I just wanted some sexy bras to give me some lift and support and help me feel good and I come away with a single nude coloured full cup bra that wouldn't look out of place in Bon Marche.

I cried in the changing room. I cried when I got home.

I am so upset and angry that I should feel great about myself after losing so much weight and all I feel is embarrassment and I am MORE self conscious now about my body than when I was 100lbs bigger.

I'm only 40years old and I cannot enjoy sex at all because all I can think about is how my breasts are either lying flat as a pancake or hanging down like tennis balls in socks. My husband tries to touch them and I recoil. Its so embarrassing having him trying to scoop down to the bottom of my bra to try and find my nipple :(

Please don't suggest surgery. I would have it tomorrow if I could afford it but I cannot. It's not an option at all financially, if it was I would have had it done already.

Can’t see a new thread and am pretty sure there is still lots to discuss !

https://www.seasaltcornwall.com/charlotte-midi-shirt-dres

I love this in Inky Botanical Chalk but im a size 22. Would I look ridiculous?

Just another follow on thread from the last 2 😊

Just a quick reminder for people holidaying in France this year. Many public swimming pools and campsites insist that boys and men wear proper (lycra) swimming trunks in their pools. These can be traditional brief style, swim shorts or jammers but must be tight around the leg for hygiene purposes. Looser swim shorts are not allowed.
I'm currently on holiday in France and have seen a number of men asked to leave the pool because they were not wearing appropriate swimwear.