I’m posting under a different name for privacy reasons.
I would be grateful for any suggestions on what I should do next and where I stand with this.

About three weeks ago, I noticed a small water stain appearing on the living room wall downstairs. I have attached a picture taken a week ago for reference. At first it was quite faint, but over time it has gradually grown and is now spreading along the junction between the wall and the ceiling. The area feels slightly damp to the touch.

I live in a terraced house. The room above the affected area is a child’s bedroom, and the bathroom in my property is on the opposite side of the house. However, the stain is exactly on the shared wall with my neighbour’s upstairs bathroom. My neighbour had their bathtub, toilet and sink fitted about two years ago.

I initially spoke to the tenants next door, and they said there was no water pooling or visible leaks in their bathroom. Even so, they arranged for the company that installed their bathroom to come and inspect it. The tenants usually deal with most repairs themselves, as they are concerned about their rent going up, so they asked me not to contact the landlord directly. I agreed to wait for their plumber to come and inspect the issue first. When they came, they didn’t open up the wall but removed the bath panel and concluded there was no leak in their installation. They suggested instead that the issue was coming from my property.
For context, there is also staining on the wall in my neighbour’s downstairs toilet area.

Because the damp started developing mould in my property, I contacted my insurance company, and today they sent out a plumber they work with to investigate. He found that there are no water pipes running through the party wall in question, my bathroom is not located above the affected room, and my roof was completely replaced last year so there is no possibility of a roof leak either. His conclusion was that the leak is not coming from my property at all. If it were, they would have started opening up my wall today to investigate further, but he ruled that out entirely.

The problem is that the mould is getting worse, and I want to resolve this quickly. However, the neighbour’s bathroom installers have already suggested it is coming from my side, and I suspect both the tenants and the landlord next door may believe that.

My insurer’s plumber has basically said there is no plumbing on my side that could be responsible, so it must be coming from the neighbouring property, but beyond that there’s not much more they can do. I dropped a letter to their landlord today as they weren’t in at the time.

I’m now unsure how to proceed if the landlord is not willing to engage with the issue. What would be the best next step in this situation?

Caveat first - I know we’re all different but COME ON women!!
The feature was about a woman birdwatcher called Lucy. She was encouraging other women into bird watching (wonderful).
However, as she was explaining her backstory, she explained how “scary” and “terrifying” and “intimidating” it was….picking up some binoculars. (Yes, you read it right, these were her words) and it was only after two (male) birdwatchers helped her that she felt confident enough going birdwatching.

Now listen, I know some people are not confident but REALLY? REALLY???? You can’t pick up some BINOCULARS without help from a man? (Two men)

Women have fought in wars, we give birth, some fight and strive to survive, are women so weak now we can’t have agency over taking up a completely risk free hobby?

What on earth is happening?
YABU - maybe it really was scary, terrifying and intimidating
YANBU - this is disappointing, come on girl wake up!

I have one DS5 with my husband and he has three DC but two older so only DSD13 comes to visit EOW.

DSD is great with DS but her behaviour always causes friction. She has no resilience and craves attention.

Latest we went out for DS birthday to a theme park, she was too tall to go on a young kids ride and cried about it. DH pacified her. Gave her the attention she wanted and ended up going off for an hour so she could do some rides.

Stuff like this happens all the time. I'm at the point that I don't want to invite her anywhere as she always has to cause issues.

However, my DS adores her so I want them to be together. Told DH he is massively causing issues and he simply says he doesn't see her often so just wants to make her happy.

Any advice please?

Hi

Really need help in loosing my mind on a certain corner of my hallway were doing it up and I've created some images of what it will look like when finished a d I'll post all photos of what it will look like when finished however it's the image with the coat hooks that I don't know what to put at the bottom as I have tried finding a console table or shoe bench but as it's only 50cm on the wall under the shopping bag I have to have a custom made one and there expensive and I just don't know what to put there?

My decor style is Cosy Cotswolds country with a refined elegant twist

DH lost his mother in late January; she had a very quick decline due to cancer, it was all very sudden and the family was left reeling. He and his sisters have started clearing out the house, as they’re preparing to sell it (although there is a chance we will buy them all out and keep it) and are worried about leaving valuables there in case it’s robbed. They’ve done jewellery and some electronics, today they did the crystal and glassware.

DH has come home with a ton of glassware. I had no idea she had this much and was a bit overwhelmed in the moment seeing it all laid out on my dining room table - and I said “where are we going to put it all?”. I sensed the shift in his mood immediately and clarified it by saying our China cabinet is full so I’ll have to do some rearranging to get it all to fit. He said he was thinking we could replace some of our glassware with hers, I agreed that we could definitely replace a few things, as hers was nicer/better quality. But that still leaves a heap of things that I need to find a home for (I didn’t say this out loud). He then mentioned there’s more they didn’t get to and that he’d like to take more of it. I tried to gently say that we’re not going to be able to take everything and that, at some point, some things are going to have to go. This got his back up immediately and he asked what i
meant. I pointed out that we’re going to receive items from his grandfather, my grandmother, and my parents at some point when they all pass and that while we’d love to keep all of their possessions, it’s just not practical. He seemed to calm a little but insisted he still wanted more of his mum’s glassware.

I tried to change the subject and said we can’t leave it all on the table, as the kids will get to it in the morning (they’re between 2 and 8). We’re also hosting his family for dinner tomorrow and have kids sport to contend with, so I said can we pack it all up and I’ll start rearranging everything this week when I have time. DH started putting crystal glasses and decanters on the sink, saying they needed to be washed. Then started trying to put stuff on our China cabinet. I repeated about packing it away until we had more time to actually go through our stuff (thinking maybe he didn’t want me to do it on my own), and he lost it. He started shouting at me that he asked 3 times what I wanted him to do with it but that I hadn’t answered. I responded that I had twice said can we pack it all up for now, he started yelling what does that even mean. I said that we need to wrap it all back up and put it back in the boxes. He (still yelling) demanded to know where I wanted to put the boxes, I suggested our ensuite/walk in robe because they’d be safe from the kids in there. He angrily packed everything up and started yelling about how he’ll just take it all back to his mum’s, how he wishes he hadn’t taken anything, and said all I’m worried about is getting hypothetical stuff from others and then said some quite nasty things about my family.

I was quite angry by this point but knew being at his mum’s today had clearly upset him so tried to keep my cool. I did tell him to stop putting words in my mouth and that I never once said we couldn’t keep the things he’d brought home; in fact, I’d said a number of times that I’d be making room for them. I also said his family are coming tomorrow so I don’t want the house a mess, we won’t have time to go through everything so it will have to wait. He stormed off to put the boxes in our robe, came back still yelling and has gone to watch tv in the lounge. I decided to remove myself from the situation because I don’t want to fight and I don’t like the way he spoke to me, so now I’m in the bedroom.

While I don’t think I’m wrong in thinking that we can’t take everything that a deceased family member leaves behind, I realise that this probably wasn’t the time to bring it up - but I’m now worried that he’s going to refuse to throw away or donate anything, so if his sisters don’t want it, it’s going to end up here. Our house isn’t big and already feels cluttered to me. We have 3 kids and can only get rid of so much.

I don’t even really know why I’m posting. I just feel like I’m damned no matter what I do or say. Advice on how to proceed?

If they’d slept with, say 50-60 men? Even if you claim publicly to not judge them, would you secretly? Would you judge a lesbian who’d slept with 50-60 women? If you did would it be in a different kind of judgement that you had for the straight woman? And would you judge a man who’d slept with 50-60 women? And would this be a different kind of judgement?

Hi all. I’ve heard that Estée Lauder have changed the formula of this foundation; it is now more buildable and sheer. I am no longer interested. I liked DW for its full coverage and longevity. I feel I have nothing to lose by giving something else a try.
Here are my requirements:
good for mature skin (50). I know DW got flack for settling into fine lines, but I never found this to be an issue.
Good coverage - I have a pinky skin tone and like this to be covered. Not full-on rosacea, but definitely a bit of redness.
Last all day.

Thank you very much 😊

Has anyone home educated for year 11 after their DC’s school has unexpectedly closed? Slightly daunted by the idea but it looks like we’ll have no other option, due to a very long travel distance to alternative schools, on top of having to adjust to a different school and potentially different GCSE exam boards.

DD is bright with no SENs and we would be using tutors for subjects that we don’t feel confident with, and cutting down our work hours to focus on her. We have explored exam centre options, which look doable.

She would then move to a local sixth form for A-Levels, which was always the intention anyway.

Hey MN!

I'm looking for a cold pressed organic coconut oil for cooking and skin care (I know, I know, I'm stuck in 2017) but it seems as though quality has declined everywhere.

The reviews are bad on everything I'm looking at - lots of people complaining about mould and poor quality across the board.

What say you MN? What do you recommend?

Living through a divorce whilst still living in the same house is honestly one of the hardest things I’ve ever experienced. Every day feels emotionally draining and I genuinely don’t know anymore whether I’m expecting too much or whether most people would struggle with this situation too.

I work full time whilst also carrying the majority of the day-to-day parenting, such as every single school drop off and pick up, school admin, appointments, clubs, routines, cooking, emotional load, dog walking and all the invisible jobs that keep family life functioning. I’ve tried incredibly hard to keep things calm, stable and amicable for our two children despite everything happening behind closed doors.

Meanwhile, he seems to be living a completely separate life with very little thought for the impact on me or the children. He exercises every single day, three evenings a week after work and now even two 4am morning sessions as well. All while I’m left carrying the emotional load, the day-to-day responsibilities and trying to keep life stable for our kids.

It feels like he’s been able to prioritise his own freedom, routine and social life without ever really stopping to consider what that means for the rest of us or how much pressure it leaves me under.

The part I’m struggling with most is being told that we need to stay “amicable for the sake of the children” whilst also having to deal with behaviour that feels deeply disrespectful.

After telling me he was unhappy and after we both came to the heartbreaking decision that divorce was the only option, he met up with another woman the very next day to tell her the news.

Since then, there have been multiple meet-ups, Saturday morning runs together, evening exercise classes and now even morning classes too. And whats hurt almost as much as the situation itself is the dishonesty around it. There have been times I’ve asked where he’s been and been lied to and I know I was lied to because I could see his location on Life360, which he didn’t realise I still had access to.

All the while, I’ve constantly been reassured that “she’s just a friend.” Yet I see photos of the two of them running together alone on social media, while I’m at home trying to process the breakdown of our marriage and hold everything together emotionally for the children.

Maybe some people would genuinely feel comfortable with that situation. Maybe some people could separate it emotionally. But honestly, I can’t. To me, it feels deeply disrespectful and incredibly painful.

What’s making me feel completely mentally exhausted is the contradiction of being asked to peacefully live together and keep things friendly whilst trust is being chipped away at constantly. It’s hard enough trying to process a marriage ending without feeling like you’re also expected to quietly tolerate secrecy and dishonesty at the same time.

I know relationships break down and nobody is perfect. I’m genuinely trying to be reasonable and self-aware here, which is why I’m asking would most people accept this as part of separation and I need to become more understanding, or is this actually a really unfair and emotionally difficult situation for someone to be expected to live with day in, day out?

At the pool. Waiting on kids in swim lesson.

There is a mummy walking/following her 2 year old around..
Both soaked from swimming,
are you choosing a cubicle? Which one do you want? Joe mummy wants to go home...I know you want to stay....why are you walking around the changing room, no treat now, come on go in there, let's go let's go....he's now wailing while mummy is narrating the whole thing while following him around the communal room.

Ffs pick him up and take him into a cubicle...aibu?

We are now on you are tired after your swimming lesson, I know, let's get changed now....still carrying the swim bags around the room 🫣

Have a difficult relationship with my mum. We used to be very close. In the 9 years since we sadly lost my dad she has changed beyond recognition. I spent years trying to be supportive but she has chosen to make her life very small, she has quit work, doesn’t go out, drinks too much and refuses to seek help for her obvious MH issues despite me begging her to go to the doctors.

Despite this I still ring her almost daily and go round when I can. I visited at lunch today, it’s lovely outside but she was in her nightgown and weeping. Asked her what’s wrong, she can’t articulate it. Got her to come for a walk with me in the sun and she just started basically blaming me. Saying that since Dh and I got married I cut her out (a total lie - she has been on family holidays with us), she accused me of alienating my dc from her because I don’t let her babysit (with good reason - she’s either drunk or weeping). She keeps harping back to events that happened years ago such as a distant relative committing suicide in the 80s. She is full of bitterness and resentment. I know part of this is because she is struggling but it’s the total lack of willingness to make her life any better that gets me.

What she said today hurt. I know it’s not true. I know it’s a way of her putting the blame on me because she can’t take responsibility for her own actions but it still stings and it makes me think she’s probably framing it this way to friends and family.

Id had enough by this point so we left and as I got in my car to come home she shouted ‘thanks so much it’s been so helpful’ sarcastically. I just wish I had a normal, supportive mother. I know she can’t help it to an extent but equally she is choosing to carry on and not get any sort of help. Aibu to feel frustrated? How do I deal with it?

Check out my username. I clearly have a problem.

Two years ago my brother got married and the wedding was child free but my sister-in-law’s cousin’s children were flower girls; mine were not invited. I was very, very upset.

Now my problem is one of my daughters who is 9 has actually been asked to be a bridesmaid for her Godfather’s bride. We have agreed and my daughter knows about it.

When my husband told me I was of course pleased but knew my six year old would be jealous, but it was a learning opportunity, they don’t have to do the same things, her Godfather was already married when she was born yada yada. She definitely has come to terms with it.

It now emerges that she isn’t invited. Child free apart from wedding party, just like my brother’s. Two of the other children in the wedding party also have siblings who are not invited.

I can’t believe what wedding culture has become.

I am not leaving her with anyone I will have to miss wedding.

Recently moved to the countryside - very rural - and finding that my city wardrobe just doesn’t work here! I have a lot of clothes, but they’re mostly modern/minimalist cuts, a lot of black, and materials that don’t lend themselves well to a spontaneous walk and pub lunch.

I do have practical clothes as well, but I’m struggling to find that inbetween - something I can put on for a walk around the village or coffee date with a friend and feel stylish in but not conspicuously out of place. And comfortable, of course!

While I have some of the basics - wellies, cable knit jumpers, THAT gilet - I feel like leaning too much into the classic country look would be putting on a costume; same goes for anything too floral, gingham-y, or frilly, or the long flowy dress look. There are some women around here who do it really well - they manage to mix and match and create a put together yet modern and slightly whimsical look - but I wouldn’t know where to start!

I’m not concerned about fitting in as such, it’s more that I feel like I’ve shown up to a beach holiday in ski gear - it’s simply the wrong time and place for my current wardrobe.

That said, I also don’t want to go out and buy a whole new set of clothes - I suspect I probably have the basics already and just need to find a way to accessorize and elevate? Essentially make jeans and a jumper a bit more interesting?

Does anyone have tips on how to swing this? What am I missing!?

Live quite rurally so don't often get the chance to shop physically - always online. Tomorrow I'm going to a fairly large M&S. Would love to see what, if anything, people rate there. Open to any suggestions.

Hello - I’m looking for recommendations for factor 50
sun screen please. It needs to be eco-friendly/no nasty chemicals, suitable for face & body AND be easily applied, not like rubbing in thick white paint! Does such a sun screen exist??!!

I called over to a friend yesterday evening with my dc. She was just coming down the stairs with an empty laundry basket when she answered the door.
she took a few minutes to answer the door so as she opened the door, she apologised and said she was putting away the laundry.
I jokingly said oh no bother I must put mine away, It’s been sitting there all week I need to clear the basket for the next lot.
she then proceeded to tell me she does ALL her laundry on a Saturday- washes, dries, irons and puts away! IN ONE DAY! I nearly fell to the floor. She said she had two and a half loads.
I was even more baffled because she couldn’t have us round until 7ish because she had a crazy busy day. Her dd had training, her ds had a friend over for a playdate, her dd then had an appointment in the afternoon. Then she had to collect her dh from the train station. My mind is blown! She fits her laundry in between doing all of this…and she irons! 😅 where am I going wrong?

My DN (3 yrs old) and DD (4yrs old) have their birthdays this month. I always do a party for my kids, invite in-laws, my parents and siblings, hire a bouncy castle and do the food. Meanwhile, when it’s DD cousins birthdays, they always go out for the day so no parties. Don’t get me wrong, if they can afford to take their kids out , honestly I don’t mind, good for them I say. I just don’t want mine feeling like they’re missing out hence the party.

Received a message from my SIL asking if we can combine DD and DN birthdays. So I would be in charge of the cooking, the cleaning, the decorating, paying for everything but all guests would be required to bring 2 party gifts and my daughter would have to share her party? Politely tried to ask SIL if she wanted to handle the decorations or the food and she said no she’s too busy. She just thought as I always throw a party to have DN in there too?

I don’t know if it’s okay for me to say no sorry, I don’t want DD to feel like she’s sharing because that sounds so spoilt. And it is my niece , I mean surely I should have no qualms throwing her a party?

At the same time why should I have to shoulder the bloody burden especially when I don’t particularly get on with this SIL but I suppose that’s not DN fault. SIGH!!!!

Or do they just look like pyjamas?

I’ve bought the thin striped ones but am unsure.

There are different colours as well. Red green and brown with neutral background

My baby boy is now almost 10 weeks and I want to start finding the joy in our family again. I'd like to take him to the zoo or aquarium but I'm not sure how long he can be in his car seat. The advice online is so inconsistent and I'm confused. So just looking for how other new parents managed this? The longest stretch he's done is about 45 minutes. He does love the car and sleeps most of the time!

The countdown to finalising choices on UCAS has started and DS casually mentioned over dinner that he’s still not sure! He likes them all (but not bowled over by any one of them).

Anyone with DCs studying History at any of these Unis with feedback?

Which combo would you choose??

I recently moved into a house which is a modern new build with 2 allocated parking spaces outside my living room and front door.
So it isn't a driveway as such but 2 parking bays designated for this property.

A few of the neighbours use it as a short cut to go from A to B and they literally are walking right by my living room window multiple times a day.

At times they will even have conversations.

The kids do it as well and it is really annoying me.

I want to kindly ask them to stop as I feel it's invading my privacy but feel petty doing so.

Would this annoy anyone else?

DD is a late summer born child - birthday is the 30th of July. She's tracking to expectations at Reception despite being one of the youngest. Is 7+ really out of the question for her? How real is the summer curse? Does it really doom them for life unless we pay for super expensive tutoring? (which we have not at all, and as mentioned, she's trending well). I need some advice here because I'm stick of all the dooms day predictions - so many people say she will never exceed expectations or get to "greater depth."

I try to do at least 5000 steps and feel
guilty if I haven’t done enough!

What is your daily count? Do you check each day?

Every year it’s the same old.

We say we are going on holiday, but dh does absolutely none of the work in finding and researching where to go.

I must admit that I am probably way more fussy than dh. Dh says he doesn’t mind where we go. But I feel like in reality he probably would mind if we ended up somewhere horrible because I hadn’t researched properly.

Dh would just look at a few photos and go with wherever had the biggest swimming pool.

He also can’t remember anywhere we’ve been. So if for example I ask if he fancies going back to Rhodes. He will look all sheepish because he can’t remember which one was Rhodes. He doesn’t know where in the world anywhere is and has no interest in looking on a map.

It’s the same if we are going in the UK. I’m the one who looks up all the daytrips and puts things into google maps to see how far they are.