Last night I went for dinner with my husband, 11 month old and a few friends. One of our friends lives abroad and doesn’t come back to our hometown often, and he invited us out with a couple other friends to catch up and enjoy a nice evening together.

The meal was booked for 7pm and for different reasons we didn’t have anybody who could look after our baby. It has been several months since we went out for dinner with our daughter, as now she is 11 months old she is much more routined and harder to keep entertained whilst out! But we didn’t want to miss seeing our friend and thought one night isn’t going to harm anybody, we still need to have a life too!

We were seated in a smaller seating area, with a high chair and plenty of room for a pram. The restaurant was quite small and quaint but they were absolutely lovely. Just after we sat down, a couple were sat down near us. It was just our table of 5 + baby and those 2 sat in this area.

We brought toys for our daughter and hoped that once it was around bedtime we could get her to sleep in the pram. She hardly cried, and she just occasionally made some loud noises (like 11 month olds do). We did not let her run or crawl around and she was always either in her high chair or in our arms or the pram. We spent a good portion of the night trying to get her to sleep (with great difficulty) and had to do a bit of pram rocking and breastfeeding and taking her out and putting her back etc and naturally at times she got a little fussy but she was generally really good and didn’t make much noise.

When trying to get her to sleep I rocked her in the pram and me and my husband were putting a great effort into keeping her calm and trying to get her to sleep. The entire time, the couple kept looking at me (the man turning around every few minutes) and the woman staring at me the whole time. They were quite obviously talking about us and the baby and were seemed really annoyed that my daughter was there. I didn’t say anything as I didn’t want to make an already awkward situation more awkward, especially as we were having a nice evening with our friends. At one point I overheard them complaining to the staff and it made me feel so uncomfortable and to be honest really upset. When they eventually left I did share with my table and they all said I should have said something, but it has left me feeling really sad and like I have done something wrong by bringing her out?

This is the first time in a long time we have gone out with her in the evening and to be honest it has really put me off taking her out again. I would have taken her for a walk in the pram rather than rocking it in the area but we were actually seated upstairs and had to carry the pram up and down the stairs.

AIBU for taking my daughter? I don’t think I would normally care but as it’s been such a long time since we have done anything with her in the evening it has really knocked my confidence.

I thought I was ready. I thought I was a strong independent woman who went through much tougher times. I thought I prepared both of us for this moment.
But this feeling hit me like a train.
DS is happy as Larry at uni, having a blast in his freshers week, while I cry every day - and I never (well almost never) cry!
We were such a great team and been such amazing support for each other for 18 years.
And now he’s off. Really far too.
Friends and family are lovely, checking in on me and telling me how great it is that he’s doing so well, and what an amazing job I did with him.
Very few seem to understand the pain I feel, and that it’s not about him it’s about me not coping.
I know there are many other mums and maybe dads too out there who know what I’m talking about?
How long does it last?…

Hi all,

Me and my partner are quite advanced in our adoption, we've been approved, matched and transitions have just started, however on doing a bit more research into how the process works after transitions, we've found out that birth parents can contest the adoption when we start the ball rolling with the court process in a last ditch attempt to get their child back, and this has got us a little worried.

We're not 100% sure but we're fairly confident that our SW hasn't told us about this at any point during the process, but it's been a long and complex process and we may have missed it, in which case, fair enough, that's on us...

From what we've read, and what we know about birth parents, it's very, very, unlikely to be successful if they do attempt to contest the adoption court order, and we've done plenty of Google'ing and can't find many stories at all where birth parents have been successful, but we've just wondering, is there any statistics out there that give an actual over view of the rate of success?

As I said, we know it's very unlikely, but it's still a scary though.

Thank you all!

I can’t find a recent post about storage combi boilers, sorry for the repeat topic.

We live in a Victorian mid-terrace and are about to update it from the millennium. The boiler is a 14 year old Vaillant that is working fantastically but I’d like to change it whilst the bulk of the work is being done if that’s for the best. Reasons to change are that you can’t shower, run the kitchen sink, or any sink, dishwasher, washing machine at the same time. The shower will run cold, the washing machine doesn’t fill properly. Given we’re getting new bathrooms and kitchen I’d like to solve this.

Having a look at old threads, it seems @PigletJohn recommends an unvented storage tank and boiler with immersion heater for back-up. I can’t think of a space to put this. Ideally I’d like to put a boiler in the same space and avoid all the pipe rework too.

For my situation, would a storage combo boiler be the best choice? Or shall I just leave it as it is. Something like the Vaillant ecoTEC plus 940 - 40kW. Its storage volume is 15L. We have a downstairs WC, utility with sink and washing machine, kitchen with sink and plumbed fridge, and upstairs bathroom.

Has anyone bought a storage combi boiler and found it made a difference?

I've just rewatched the 3 Lord Of the Rings films for the first time in years and am convinced there's a scene I remember that wasn't in any of the films - am I going crazy?

A group of them go into a forest controlled by elves (?) to heal / get help. They leave after a short time to find out a much longer time has passed out in the real world - years I think. Several battles have been fought, people died etc while they rested in the forest.

It could be from a different franchise altogether but does anyone else remember the scene?

The Green Party are more and more extremist. The latest is that supporting the right to Jewish self determination (Zionism) is now racist.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c6jdm5n1vy7go

The Green Party are a million miles from the Green Party I voted for years ago. Now full of men that think they are women, accusing people that believe in self determination for their own people as racist. They appear unable to see the division and racism of their own party. Many antisemitic tweets from their members over the last few years.

AIBU

The Green Party are long gone to a bunch of extreme individuals with not a chance of being elected party.

Hello, looking to book an early scan when I will be 7 weeks 3 days. Will this be possible to do without an internal scan? Would like to avoid if possible but anxious it is still early!

Anyone else never had a single night away from their children? I have to admit im jealous of people with regular support.

We’re seriously considering moving to Cornwall and I’d really love some honest opinions from anyone who has actually done it, particularly with children.
We’re a family of three currently living in Sussex where I grew up. We love where we live in a lot of ways, but we’re increasingly drawn to Cornwall for the lifestyle – being closer to the coast, beaches, walking etc and it reminds us of the lifestyle we had when my husband and ai lived in New Zealand. Additionally we feel we are being priced out the area here and property prices in our area are becoming unattainable.

We’re at the point where we’re actually looking at houses, rather than it just being a vague idea, so it’s starting to feel like a very real possibility.
The thing I’m most worried about is schools.
Our DS is 9 and will be heading towards secondary school age, which makes me slightly nervous about moving now. He would be going into a mainstream secondary school and is generally doing well, but obviously changing schools, leaving friends behind and starting somewhere completely new feels like quite a big thing at this age.
For those who have moved to Cornwall with children around this age, how did you find it? Did your DC settle in OK and make friends? How have you found the secondary schools generally?
And what about actually living there long term? Did you buy a house before moving, or rent first? Did you feel you knew enough about the area before buying? I’m conscious that looking at an area for a weekend is very different from actually living there year-round.
I’d particularly love to hear from people who moved from elsewhere in England rather than people who have always lived in Cornwall. Was it what you expected? Do you still love it? Anything you wish you’d known before making the move?
We’re not expecting it to be perfect and I’m definitely interested in the negatives as well as the positives. I think I’m just trying to work out whether we’re romanticising the idea of Cornwall or whether it really could be a better lifestyle for us.
Any experiences, particularly from families with school-age children, would be really appreciated.

More of a WWYD rather than an AIBU.

DD12 had a good friend, let's call her Lila, all through primary school. Lila and DD went to different secondary schools. Lila's dad was unfortunately diagnosed with a serious illness about 6 months ago. DD did her best to support Lila, she came to our house a lot for sleepovers etc and all was good between them up until this summer. Lila went very distant over texts, not replying and making up increasingly outlandish reasons for why she couldn't meet up with DD. Eventually Lila turned on DD, sending her a barrage of texts saying she was annoying, why didn't she fuck off and let their friendship go etc. DD was absolutely devastated and it really rocked her confidence, especially as she is still finding her feet in a new friendship group at her school.

I see Lila's mum a fair amount as Lila and my older child do the same sport.

Fast forward to today, Lila has unblocked my DD to ask her for her brother's number as she likes one of his friends. DD said no and Lila sent her a meme calling her a f*#ing r!#ard. I have seen screenshots of the whole exchange.

Would you say something to Lila's parents? I bumped into her mum today and she was really keen to start a conversation, but I just made my excuses and left quickly. I don't think she knows how Lila has acted towards my DD, but obviously this is an awful time for their family, so I don't want to add to that.

We were at a wedding yesterday and we’re still at the hotel.

Husband had been out with a friend a few weeks ago and she had told him that the groom’s brother had stepped down from being best man as his stepson had not been invited.

I was delighted at this as when same thing happened to us my husband wasn’t supportive

It then emerged that he had tried to stop his own son from going but child’s mother and rest of family stepped in.

Yesterday came along and there is groom’s brother, wife and stepson sitting at back of church in casual clothes.

They then stood at entrance to churchyard at which point mother of groom saw him and started crying Family and friends including my DH shook hands.

We check in to hotel and come down and nephew is being comforted by the ushers

Brother of groom, wife and stepchild had come to hotel as well, where they stayed in the entrance for four hours.

He claimed he just wanted to be on the periphery of his brother’s big day.

I was half cringing and half admiring. I wanted to curtsy for his sheer chutzpah.

No one is talking about anything else.

I don't really enjoy people's company. I have 2 Dd's and genuinely think they are the only people in the world I properly love spending time with. I have a "best friend" who I chat to over social media regularly but don't really see that often. I have another group of friends who again I chat to fairly regulary vut don't see that often. They try to arrange meet ups and quite frankly I can't really be bothered seeing them, i enjoy chatting and hearing about their life but that's enough for me. I have siblings, parents and nieces/nephews who i'm quite close to and would say I generally enjoy their company but would still happlily not bother seeing too much of them. This has come to light for me becuse my DH has recently changed job and is at home much more in the evenings and even he's starting to grate on me 🙈 What is wrong with me. I'm invited to plenty of things but often make excuses because quite honestly i'd rather spwnd the evening with my kids or walking the dog ON MY OWN. Is anyone else like this? Am I just really weird?

Dd1 (about to be 17) is very particular. They cannot feel sweaty. They must be machine washable. They need a substantial sole you cannot feel the floor through. I doubt get feet will grow now so happy to spend a bit.

please tell me about your non awful slippers and dd2 and I are happy with fluffy ones from Tesco’s 😂

My partner wants to know about my sexual past and everyone I have slept with, is this normal ? He wants to know details of people I slept with 27 years ago

Like lots of people I am trying to make savings across the board due to cost of living. Working in public sector my wages aren't keeping up with rent increases, energy and fuel increases etc so having to cut back.

2 small mixed breed dogs (rescues) they are terrier ISH. Both eat dry kibble which I want to continue with. I know there's lots of other options and I've considered and tried lots but kibble works for me & them.

At the moment they have tails.com dry food which comes in just over £50 for 30 days supply. Historically they've had harringtons, pooch & mutt, fourthglade etc.

I am looking for recommendations of good value dry food that is still decent ISH quality food. Obviously it's all compromise / balance.

If you're watching the pennies at the moment, what are you feeding and how's it going?

My son now has a few Lego build sets but we’re struggling to keep everything together. He isn’t yet very proficient at building them (he’s 5) so they are all in half-finish state and some peices missing already! It’s a real shame. I’m sure the peices will turn up but I’d like a way to store the peices along with the half- completed build and instructions book.

Do you have any ideas? How do you store your sets?

i would originally thinking wall mounted small ikea trofast drawers but I think we need something that comes in 3-4 sizes because once built some of the sets would be larger/ bulkier than others. Maybe several lidded stackable clear boxes?

Not sure, how do you do yours?

Previous thread: https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/telly_addicts/5571945-celebrity-traitors-s2?page=1

This is a tv pace thread so make sure you’re up to date with the live broadcast and yes, previous series (regular and celeb) will be discussed!

Please no spoilers if you read them online!

The story so far (as of end of episode 1)

Traitors
Maya Jama
Richard E Grant

Faithful
Bella Ramsey
James Blunt
Jerry Hall
Joanne McNally
Joe Lycett
Julie Hesmondhalgh
King Kenny
Leigh-Anne Pinnock
Michael Sheen
Miranda Hart
Myha’la
Professor Hannah Fry
Rob Beckett
Romesh Ranganathan
Ross Kemp
Sebastian Croft
Sharon Rooney

Potential Recruit/Murder
Amol Rajan
James Acaster

Hi while I like brown its everywhere now. Blazers all brown in shops. I love burgundy but brown in everything. Do others like it.

I was picking up a parcel at my local InPost lockers in town today, and overheard someone commenting on my Dryrobe. It’s the first time I’ve heard anything myself, but there’s loads of Facebook groups for laughing at “Dryrobe Wankers”. I know that they’re not everyone’s cup of tea, but so what? Why do people are so much about the coat a stranger is wearing to the point they are making social media shaming posts about them?

How rubbish is Tesco Clubcard now?! 😩
I used to save my vouchers up and spend them on Denby, but they’re no longer a partner. In the past I’ve also used them for jewellery bits, but that doesn’t seem to be an option anymore either.
The choice of rewards seems so poor now, unless you want a magazine subscription or to have your car washed.
Or am I missing some really good options? I’ve got about £80 in vouchers, so it’s not exactly life changing money, but I’d still like to spend it on something nice rather than just use it against the weekly shop.
What are you all spending your Clubcard vouchers on these days?

I need to get around 4 average size rooms painted - walls and ceiling. Want to save up and get them done one by one. Both work FT with at least one weekend day taken up with DD’s sport so would take forever to do ourselves. Can anyone tell me what they have paid recently or have had quoted for an average size lounge or bedroom? No high ceilings. Thanks.

My daughter was group text by her friend group 2 days before the new term started this year, they threw accusations at her that weren’t true and then dropped her and ghosted her. They have been leaving her out all summer, having sleepovers, days out, even their mum’s were messaging and saying where was “my daughter” on many occasions.

The point blank refused to talk to her, even when she begged them. She was absolutely destroyed. She’s an anxious person anyway and this just made her spiral out of control. The thought of going to school with nobody to speak to or be friends with made her so petrified to attend school.

I reached out to the Mum’s as I thought maybe they could help solve issues. However, they just washed their hands of it saying that was hormonal girls and they would sort things out. I explained that this was more than just a little. And that they were trying to isolate my child child. The parents still didn’t want to know. The parents left the group chat that we were on saying that they couldn’t deal with it.

my daughter has been best friends with this group of girls for nearly 2 years. In two weeks time they had a holiday booked for a weekend in Spain, which I had paid £270 for a weekend Tripp. In the next few days I was basically told that she was not able to go and that they were not able to get a refund on her ticket. The parent told me that she would give me some of the money back but not all as she was not in a position to do so as she was a single parent with many kids and was not working anymore.

My child was physically not able to go to school for two weeks and three days because she was in a state of absolute panic. She had no friends left. She was being ignored and isolated by everyone that she knew as being her best friends.

no matter how much I tried to explain to the parents how bad my daughter was, they just washed their hands again of any involvement.

The teachers have been fantastic and have encouraged my daughter by coming round to the house for a house visit, accommodating her on a phased gentle entry package to school. I have had my daughter on medication from the local health clinic, just to enable her to feel comfortable enough to actually come into school.

My daughter was broken. Just seven days before this happened the girls had packed their clothes on call together for the Spain trip. She had her suitcase packed and ready. Now she had no friends, no holiday and the thought of school absolutely terrified her.

When they went to Spain, she found it in herself to have the confidence to return to school. Luckily, thank goodness one of the other girls at school reached out to her. She had Ben and why she had not been in school. She returned for those two days when the girls were in Spain and Man managed to somehow cope.

Since then, house spent Dailly battle. I am sure there are those out there who will understand, how difficult it is to get a child in school when they are petrified.

I am so proud to say that after many many days and many struggles, arguments, tears, screaming matches and pure frustration on both parts, she was actually able on a few occasions to attend school. She has avoided lesson that she shared with them, even check changing her options so that she didn’t have to cope with the seeing them. When she has seen them, they have laughed, giggled, stayed silent as she walked past and then laughed when she left. Smacked at her and gave her disgusting looks, whispering behind their hands and laughing at her. It has been so difficult for her.

I am so incredibly proud of her as she has done nothing wrong. We know these girls are bitches and bullies, but I am finding incredibly difficult trying to build up her self-confidence again as she is totally an utterly shattered by this experience.

Every night I cry. Every morning I wake up with a bit in my stomach. These girls were part of my life. Here every weekend for sleepovers. They were part of our family. I can’t believe they have done this to my child.

I know I just need to be strong for my child. I am struggling. I am so angry. I’m angry with the children. Most of all I’m angry with the parents, because if my child ever did this to another child, I would never allow it or condone it.

To hear from people in the same situation and what you did.

My child didn’t deserve any of this.

the Discussion continues! , we are still interested and still not bored 😁

New thread. Welcome back everyone. It's taken a while to get through the last due to how busy the advent threads have been.

All the holiday releases are coming out now and Black Friday is looming. So take a seat and buckle up. 😊

Have you ever had any celebrity encounters or near misses? There's a radio DJ who I snogged years ago and shouldn't have. He was far too principled to take it further and I really admired that, funnily enough though I was upset. He's still on the radio now and I think about it a fair bit if I hear him.