My family (mum and her partner, my sister and half sister and their families) are due to visit and stay with us for a few days over Xmas. We live about 150 miles from them so we alternate spending Christmas in the two places, although we always go out for Christmas dinner. My half sister doesn’t always join us but does sometimes and is this year.

We all agreed on the restaurant for Christmas Day a few months ago and I booked it. My half sister is now saying she can’t afford it and wants us to host Xmas dinner at home. We really don’t want to do that as we look forward to going out for it, not cooking and just relaxing.

I’ve suggested that she comes before or after Xmas for a day or two instead but she thinks that’s unfair and doesn’t see why we can’t just cook dinner at home. My mum is siding with her and it’s causing friction. Are we being unreasonable to not want to change our plans and not want to have to cook dinner ourselves when we were looking forward to going out?

For a variety of hideous reasons that I won’t bore you with I can no longer wear pjs at night and am looking for a really warm, really long nightie.
The more granny the better
any ideas ?

BBC have removed Room on the Broom from iplayer. Apparently David Walliams voiced the frog
It seems somewhat overkill

(Not inthe least because it seems unfair on Julia Donaldson - plus of course whilst he might be morally reprehensible he currently isn’t legally reprehensible)

I’m going out for an afternoon tea at a posh London place with friends who are effortlessly stylish.

We are all 40something plus but they are considerably thinner and richer than me so always look well pulled together.

I also have the joy of being a size 18 with huge boobs and horrendous legs so struggle to ever look stylish as usually resort to dresses of some sort.

Please help me source an outfit in the sales/off Vinted. Budget up to £250 if it is clothing I can wear again.

I suit warm tones as am a brunette with brown eyes.

Hi all. Here's our new thread. Giving Rainbow a break and until Reastie returns. Sorry there wasn't a more inspiring title, didn't spot any comedy typos this time.

This is intended as a friendly, kind, safe, warm and fuzzy place for people to share discounts, bargains and Christmas gift ideas both online and IRL. Please note the tone and intention of the thread and join with spirit as generous as DC helping themselves to the Christmas chocolate celebrations

Here’s some useful information about how to save the thread or a specific post so you don’t need to have a message to check in for every thread so you have the thread saved:

To watch the thread - click on the little bell that has ‘watch’ under my first message. This adds the whole thread to your ‘watched threads’

You can also bookmark a specific post by clicking on the ‘bookmark’ under the specific post. This saves your exact place in a thread but doesn’t alert you to new replies.

If you have any referral links or codes, please share them on the referral thread here:

www.mumsnet.com/talk/christmas/5444936-bargain-referrals-thread-8

A reminder that we don't use affiliated links on here please

🎄 Emoji to copy if required for posting bargains as some agree this makes deals easier to spot. (or post in bold)

According to DD, I look like a Christmas tree...
is there any hope or should I send the trousers back?

As it says in the title. She doesn’t have any dependents and she’s been flitting and sofa surfing for about 6 months. She says the council can’t help with emergency accommodation or interim housing until she receives universal credit.

Ive never claimed any benefits so not familiar with the processes, time limits etc, but that can’t be right, can it?

I think she has some undiagnosed mental health issues and has been estranged from her family for years. She’s always been book smart and had good jobs in the past but I think she needs a work on her skills, confidence and relating with people before she could even apply for a job let alone keep one. I don’t know if she has any money or where she might get it from.

Id seen her around here and there, but not really in any sustained contact, but I still see her as a friend. I’m feeling torn and a bit vulnerable as I can’t help or turn her away. Any suggestions?

I have a 20yo compostite front door, dark green colour.

It's East facing and frankly has looked scruffy and faded for a long time now. Over the years I've tried cleaning it, which made it worse, considered painting it which I strongly suspect would make it look even worse, having it professionally sprayed which is expensive and according to reviews gets variable results, and a complete replacement which costs £££ and seems daft when there's nothing wrong with it except it's a bit faded.

Things came a head recently when the doorknocker fell apart. I was researching a replacement and thought I'd have another look at refurbishing it.

I found colour restorer on Amazon for c. £10. Didn't have high hopes but thought it was worth a try.

I spent a total of two hours, washing the door, polishing the letter box and handle, applying the restorer, fitting the new knocker and replacing the doorbell battery.

The door looks completely brand new. Not just better than before but fantastic.

I know my level of excitement is bonkers, but honestly it looks so good, thought I'd share if it might help others.

I promise I have no ties to the product.

Am 46. Had eczema on and off my whole life (sometimes on face) but if I carefully selected products my skin was fine. Until I got rosacea at 38, now everything I use seems to make it worse.

Skin is dry and itchy, sore and blotchy. I have got the flushing and redness broadly under control but the skin barrier is soooo sensitive. Been to lots of derms who all recommend the same stuff, La Roche Posey Torralene, Cerave. I try and try but they just make my skin worse.

I've run out of the old formula cetaphil facewash which was the only thing my skin liked and now my skin is getting more sore by the day. This weather doesn't help!

If anyone has the same skin type what do you use? I don't want 100 steps or anything just a facewash and moisturizer. Fragrance free is best too.

TIA xx

Just caretaking until Reastie returns. Thanks to @lemoncurdcupcake for the previous thread.

This is intended as a friendly, kind, safe, warm and fuzzy place for people to share discounts, bargains and Christmas gift ideas both online and IRL. Please note the tone and intention of the thread and join with spirit as generous as DC helping themselves to the Christmas chocolate celebrations
Here’s some useful information about how to save the thread or a specific post so you don’t need to have a message to check in for every thread so you have the thread saved:
To watch the thread - click on the little bell that has ‘watch’ under my first message. This adds the whole thread to your ‘watched threads’

You can also bookmark a specific post by clicking on the ‘bookmark’ under the specific post. This saves your exact place in a thread but doesn’t alert you to new replies.
If you have any referral links or codes, please share them on the referral thread here:

www.mumsnet.com/talk/christmas/5444936-bargain-referrals-thread-8

A reminder that we don't use affiliated links on here, please

🎄 Emoji to copy if required for posting bargains as some agree this makes deals easier to spot. (or post in bold)

Ok l know im probably going to be slaughtered for this but here goes.
We moved a week ago into a new flat, purpose built block. We both smoke, yes l know its disgusting but whatever.
So today upstairs neighbours came down and said smoke was bothering them, im not sure how as they are not directly above us, but above on other side. I guess none of our frount doors are that good , so smoke is going out of ours upstairs and to the left to thiers? Seems unlikely but obviously they can smell it, they accused us of smoking in communal area hall which obviously l would never do. Other upstairs neighbours directly above say that they can't smell anything.
Im not really sure what to do now, l did say sorry and normally we would smoke outside just been hectic week moving and so wet but if we smoked inside we would do it furthest room away from frount door and close all the doors in between so 3 doors.
Apprently that's not good enough , they also dont want us smoking in the communal garden?
Aibu to think actually we can do what we like in our flat, and to just ignore them.

Mini rant really. I find dating in general hard. Everyone says join places or you’ll meet him when yoh least expect it. I’m sick of that. Ive put myself out there all year. Joined a run club. Went to book clubs. Went to networking events. Talked to men at the gym. Ive done it all yet still. NOTHING.

Today I matched a man on bumble. I thought. Wow brilliant. He’s handsome, well dressed. Verified. All looks great. He sent the first message saying “hey lovely. I really like your pictures. How’s your day been?x” so I sent “Hey, thank you that’s kind of you. You look great too. Ive just spent most of the day shopping today. How about you?”

Next thing I know. Ive been unmatched??? What the hell. Sorry but what the hell😂

I have had a lodger staying Monday to Friday for about 5 months.

It was generally working out quite well.

He has his own large room, which has a sofa and TV, and his own bathroom.

We share the kitchen and dining room. I have a separate living room.

The arrangement started that I provided basic breakfast food items for him to prepare: cereal and bread, butter, jam, honey etc

An evening meal was not included in our agreement. I did tell him, however, that he was welcome to have what I’d cooked, or if I was out or he wanted something different he could have one of several ready meals, or use any food in the fridge or freezer unless it was earmarked for another meal.

I made it clear that I eat fairly early, normally around 6.00pm, and if he wanted the meal I’d cooked and he wasn’t home in time, I would plate it up and he could re heat it when he liked.

He was happy with this as he hadn’t expected any meals ( the rent is very low for the facilities provided in this area), and had only asked for space to store his own food.

He now has his own cupboard/ fridge space in case he wants something different.

I like to cook and the meals I provide are cooked from scratch and accompanied by fresh vegetables. If we are both there when the meal is ready we often eat together in the dining room.

He has recently mentioned a few times that he would prefer to eat his meal when it was hot, rather than having to re heat it. This is quite a change from when he first moved in, and told me that he often ate Pot Noodles as he couldn’t be bothered to cook.

I advertised for a lodger to help with the bills and am happy to let him share my food, but I am not running a hotel. I don’t want to eat later, nor cook a separate meal for him and be clearing up at up to 8.30pm. He arrives back somewhere between 5.30 - 8.15pm.

Our contract only states that I will provide basic breakfast items. I am under no obligation to provide any other meals, although I am concerned that it might appear so through custom/ practice.

I’ve already told him that I am not prepared to change the timing of my meal, but it hasn’t stopped him mentioning it.

I am considering withdrawing the offer of evening meals altogether.

I am posting here to try to get a balanced view.

In other ways he is a good fit as a lodger, although there have obviously been some niggles.

Hi, can anyone help me please? I need advice about a worrying situation in our Fostering journey. Thank you

okay so i saw her in london this weekend and it's bothering me.
shes between 45 and 55. Blonde flicky shirt bob. sexy eyes. very pretty with a distinctive english, posh, clipped accent. fairly tall.

So me and my ex broke up 9 months ago. It was rocky at first but for the last month or so we have got on ok. He has been with his partner for about 2 months and they have decided to move in together. I have been supportive and helped him move things of his that had been left at my house during the break up and took our son home early to allow them to decorate their new place.
For context, I have not met his girlfriend and my son has met her twice. He will of course be going to stay at the house with them and her son and sharing a bedroom. I had my concerns which me and my ex spoke about but I felt reassured from the conversation and I have basically just stayed out of it.
Until yesterday. My ex rang me to tell me that his partner has said that I am not allowed to pick my son up from the house and I would have to meet them at a garage round the corner when I’m picking him up after a weekend at theirs. I think this is completely out of order and uncalled for! I have not done anything at all to give her a bad impression or justify this. I think it puts my son in an awkward situation etc. Why am I expected to be ok with my son going living with a stranger and her son but I am not even allowed to pick him up from the house? What are peoples thoughts on this?

I’d like to get her something from a proper fragrance brand, probably not Sol de janeiro or anything like that.

but of course not anything wildly expensive or too sophisticated.

maybe Vera wang princess? Ideas welcome please

Just that really.

Three hooded, balaclava'd young men threw large lumps of concrete into my front windows, smashing them.

Single mum. Black. One young child.

Police initially said they'd come out next week, now aren't coming out at all.

No other support offered.

What do we do? Who can we go to for help? We are alone and scared.

Hit me up with your favourite Chelsea boots that are black leather and have a decent grippy sole for autumn leaves but look smart with a skirt or dress.

There are so many online and they all look similar so looking for your favourites. Will consider ones with a zip top for steadiness.

I am very comfort driven. Size 7.5.

I’m dating him. He left his wife after twelve years of progressive alcoholism and several trips to rehab which were unsuccessful.
Do you think he should have tried harder to help her?
His now young adult kids left with him

I know it's not the norm nowadays, however, I've been (happily) a housewife for almost 10 years. I'm struggling to find like 'lifed' friends the same age (early 30s). I just want a friend in the same position who doesn't resent me for the life that I have and who is also in a happy marriage with children. My husband and myself have built our life together, we are equal partners, I just want an equal friend in the same position who understands and is on the same page to share life, coffee and wine with. I have looked at WIs and everyone seems on the older demographic, mummy groups; most seem to be going back to work etc. I already have friends of other demographics, I just want someone of the same where we can directly relate- where do I find her?

Because I genuinely need help navigating this and building my own.
after a childhood in and out of care I have, by a combination of finding good mentors, a voracious reading habit (and ignoring the many, many times this was mocked in various placements) and being in top sets through sheer hard work rather than natural intelligence I have a well respected, aspirational job that I love.
Thanks in no small part to MN I ‘mask’/fit in with the upper middle class around me in clothes, grooming and so forth. I’m not looking to imitate them if that makes sense but instead to navigate my way through what I missed as a child. I know nothing about classical music, opera or art. I am educating myself about philosophy at the moment after an interesting conversation I was part of (well, I didn’t have much to contribute tbh but you get the idea).
I feel like I have a lot of gaps that I want to plug, not because I don’t feel as good as other people more that I want to get behind the curtain and see what’s there.
if anyone has any suggestions about where to start as an adult - for example I have only found kids books describing the ballet for those who don’t know anything about it - navigating any aspect of this, 🙏
I’m happy to watch docs, read, listen. Don’t have limitless time and money but am happy to commit both realistically. The only thing I don’t need help with are our ‘classsics’ on the book world, EH, NT, skiing and horseriding (waaay to much open air).

My dd will be 19 at Christmas and her younger sibling will be 12.

Am I being harsh in thinking that the 19 year old gets substantially less than her sister?

So older daughter works part time and has had a hard year in terms of friendships and boys but she is quite lazy and won't help out unless asked.

Im torn as I will feel bad come christmas morning so just wondering what else people would/have done on this situation please.

I’d like to get her something from a proper fragrance brand, probably not Sol de janeiro or anything like that.

but of course not anything wildly expensive or too sophisticated.

maybe Vera wang princess? Ideas welcome please

I may be biased but my DD12 is kind, funny, goes to after-school activities around Hampshire, meets lots of girls her age, but is struggling to make really good friends. How can I help her?