When sitting down or walking in tight/restrictive clothes do you find that clothes ride up and cause wedgies a lot?

And I really don’t understand why, she’s 20! She kept this lie up for 6 months, but only to one side of the family.

I was suspicious when I first heard about it as she had always been a liar, such as accusing people of seriously assaulting her, or the neighbour being a pervert.

None of the details she said added up, we gave her a lot of money as she was ‘too sick to work’.

The odd thing is, her mother is exactly the same, and made up having a child! Used to make up lies about my husband and have him arrested.

Initially my husband’s family didn’t believe me and were quite nasty to me. Until my husband went to his families house and called her grandmother, who she lives with and she advised she’s never had cancer.

She also claimed miscarriage and sepsis last month, on top of the the cancer.

what the hell is wrong with her? Me and my husband can’t get our head around it.

Hi me again...

A few months ago we let the home become very messy :( it was bad!
I'm disabled and was going through a bad place and in a lot of pain, we acknowledged this and now our home is clean always!

If we are deemed intentionally homeless due to the messy home and social services do become involved will they take the children or acknowledge that we have cleaned and now keeping on top of the cleaning?

I'm worrying because if we are found that we lost our home due to not cleaning it social services will see this and take the children :(

I've alwaya thought I was a decent enough neighbour. Say hello, have a short chat in passing, take their parcels in, mostly keep myself to myself, no loud music or parties, but seeing the things others object to in their neighbours, I wonder.

I have a young adult DS. He is quiet as a mouse himself, but works shifts so is either leaving the house at 5:30 am or returning at 1am and he does like to make sure the door is shut properly!

I have a BF with a powerful car. It roars when it's starting up. TBH I do find it a bit ostentatious but as his only fault I'll live with it. 😆 He often leaves here around midnight on midweek evenings.

BF and I have been eating in the garden most evenings we're at home, and we have a chat while we're doing it. Sometimes even a beer or two.

Are my neighbours making threads about me?

Help me process this dear mumsnetters!
On holiday with my family, 2 kids and my oh, we've booked with our friends who have a similar set up. We've done holidays together most years for over a decade, my best friend is the mum.
So, we arrived together from another campsite yesterday, to find my friends, neighbors/friends are here, not really a problem per se but a bit awkward?

My friend is a a bit embarrassed and said when they asked where they were going in holiday, they just said oh sounds great we can meet you there. And couldn't really say err no, with other friends.

Turns out theyve booked the same arrival and leave date as all of us, so not just crossing over.

They seem keen to find out about our meal arrangements and what time we plan to be at the beach etc. so far kept it vague and said hello when we've seen them. Now asking about tomorrow, but we've all planned to go out for the day as it's my husband's birthday so going for a long lunch and walk round etc.

I'm a bit perplexed about what's happening 😂 and what to do about it really. Never met them before, they seem nice enough, but everyone is feeling a bit awkward.

What do we think to this then?! 😂 I'll enjoy reading your comments over wine later 😘

I am now 71 days sober. I’ve been doing really well. This is the longest I’ve ever managed and I feel proud.
Today my daughter opened up to me about her experience of childhood sexual abuse. It was bad. This is the first time she’s spoken to me about it. I had no idea. It’s lunchtime and I feel broken and want to drink a bottle of wine or two and take pills to sleep. I need to post to say something aloud. It isn’t about me but I feel distraught and murderous. I would be so grateful if someone could reply, telling me how to stay calm and not drink. At the moment I am justifying a bad decision with it’s just one day. But I can’t. I mustn’t. Thank you if you can. 🙏

As recommended on here I bought some M and S carrot leg jeans. They are great for me being 5ft 2 size 8. Can anyone recommend me some boots to go with them for the coming autumn / winter ? I always struggle with boots , hate anything pointy, have wide feet. Need to be flat.

Putting this on 30 days only in case it goes south and I want it to disappear off here.

So, in October, we got a kitten - 2-3 months old at the time ... (Lenny.) We kept him indoors til February so he knew this was his home, and we had him spayed. He's about a year old now.

For the last 3-4 months he has been spending a lot of time at a house/garden around 7 doors down. The woman there who is in her 50s I would say, is in her garden a lot, (and seems to be at home a lot.) Lenny was originally attracted by the food she gives to the hedgehogs.

According to one of the neighbours who lives halfway between us, (who speaks to this woman a bit more than I do,) she welcomes Lenny and is happy for him to be there, My other neighbour suggested to her that she stops feeding the hedgehogs to try and stop the cat coming. She refused, saying she has never had this problem before, and that cats don't usually come for the hedgehog food as it's in a feeding station that cats cannot get into. Except my cat can as he's quite small!

He spends HOURS in her garden. Sometimes most of the day. And very little time in ours. Fair play, our garden is decked and has patios, and hers is large with plenty of wild areas... and trees and bushes. She has no cats but did have cats for about 30 years. Last one died 2 years ago and she chose to have no more. (My neighbour who lives close to her said she has told her this, she talks to her more than I do.) The woman joked that it's lovely having a cat around, have his company, and give him fuss and cuddles, without the commitment or the vet bills!

AIBU to think this is a massive cheek and an absolute nerve? She has said to this other neighbour she doesn't want another cat, so I don't think she is trying to steal him, but it's irking me that she has my cat at her house and in her garden more than I do, and he's my cat! I work 3 days a week (the days vary, but are usually Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday,) and DH works full time, but the Lenny's not on his own that much! He gets love and cuddles and fuss from us, and is a very friendly, affectionate cat. I can see why this woman likes him, but why is he at hers so much? Whilst she may not have deliberately set out to coax him there, she seems to be doing nothing to make him leave!

This is really pissing me off. What should I do, if anything?

He got mostly 4s, a couple of 3s and one 5. He was predicted 6s and 7s.

This isn't the first time he has not performed as well as expected- we had the same issue with the 11+. He seems to be perfectly capable until the exam.

It makes me feel like a failure for not pushing him more, but I feel like I do push him. We had so many arguments over the last couple of years about refusing to revise or barely putting any effort in. It frustrates me so much. He refused to attend revision sessions before the exams, and if we suggested things to help revise he wouldn't listen. Dh and I did very well in our own GCSEs many years ago without any of the support or help we have provided ds so it feels like a kick in the teeth. We failed and got it wrong somehow and somewhere.

He has always been like this though - he just won't be told and now he is sad. And I feel terrible. All his plans are up in the air while we wait to see where he can go next.

We have given him so many opportunities - all the extra curricular I wished I had had a chance to do but never did (tailored to him and his likes of course), music lessons, sports, trips and visits, a house full of books and every other resource we can provide. But it all means nothing, he barely puts any effort in and it feels like he just doesn't care.

And then, all the school's words about "if it doesn't work out there are options..." turn out to mean nothing because when I asked what next they basically just shrugged and said he doesn't meet the requirements, there is nothing we can do.

I am of course venting here to avoid damaging him by saying something hurtful and harming our relationship.

35M here.

I have put a number of posts on mumsnet asking for some more objective clarity on some the disagreements between myself and my wife.

Today is a more minor one than previously. These kind of debates have in some ways defined our three year marriage.

My wife (38F and successful high achieving professional) is not letting me into the private spaces of our home or touching my kids because earlier today I tried to fix her bike without gloves.

I got a small amount of grease on my hands. I have washed it off and clipped my nails, see pictures attached.

Currently my wife is insisting that I stay in a hotel tonight and that I cant spend time with or touch my children (daughter 21 months or daughter 7 months) because she is worried about the risk of contamination from the grease harming them. Also we had plans to make some Ikea furniture which needs to be postponed for the same reason. No amount of washing/ cleaning will convince her that I am safe.She thinks she is an educated professional who googled grease which is harmful if ingested or swallowed by children.

Am I being unreasonable thinking that its unreasonable that I should be kicked out of my home and not allowed to see my children because of this?

Hello,

I’m looking for some advice as I’m pretty isolated and too embarrassed to open up to close family and friends.

My husband passed away during Covid following a brave battle with cancer over a two year period. My mother-in-law and father-in-law passed away shortly after. I have a very dysfunctional family on my side and we’re not close at all. My husband and my family were everything to me.
I have two children who were quite young when my husband passed (9 and 11) and the scars of Covid and bereavement through such a challenging time has been very hard, to say the least.
As I mentioned previously, I’m now quite isolated. I have some friends who aren’t in close proximity - all of whom have been amazing. But they have families/lives of their own and don’t like to bother anyone with all the sadness we’ve been experiencing.

Anyway, in pursuit of moving on I met someone online a couple of years ago (with my children’s consent). He seemed really nice, lots of fun and just what we needed in our lives and he recently moved in with us. Since moving in our situation has become concerning. He doesn’t get along with my eldest daughter, he drinks too much and has anger issues (shouting and banging mainly).
He has no children of his own and has struggled to adjust to their ways (mainly mess, eating things and leaving wrappers about etc). He’s very tidy and helps out a lot around the house. He has tried hard with my kids in his own way, but mainly superficial where he’ll buy them things and make treats which they can be a bit indifferent to.
As a couple we aren’t sexually active. When we first me he said he didn’t really have much of a sex drive, which I was happy about as was just looking for companionship.
He quit his job last year due to a toxic relationship with his partner and spent all his savings trying to create his own business over the past 8 months. He recently began earning again, however, his car died and I agreed to loan him money to buy a new one. I was expecting he’d choose something reasonable but picked a high end car under the premise he’d pay me back. This left me feeling uneasy but he had a bit of an outburst when I queried it and to keep things peaceful for my kids I agreed. I’ve never received any repayment.
My husband and in-laws left us with some inheritance and I stupidly passed on this information. I feel this has been the main attraction on his part.

Things have become unbearable at home, especially between him and my eldest daughter. He works from home which has forced me to change job and reduce my hours to ensure I’m around to monitor what’s going on.
I asked him to move out today and he told me he has a bankruptcy order in place and can’t afford a deposit to rent anywhere.
He’s requested I withdraw some money from my mortgage which he’s been paying towards over the past year to assist him. I’ve told him under no circumstances will I be doing this and that he should sell the car I bought for him.
He has no friends here, doesn’t speak to any family (has fallen out with them all during our time together). I feel utterly ashamed to have been so stupid and to have put my children in this situation.
I feel completely trapped.
Just to add, I’m a low income earner. All the money we’ve inherited has gone into ISA’s for my kids and I’m not willing to give him another penny. Feel responsible for helping him to find somewhere to stay though, especially to keep things calm for my kids sake.
Any advice would be gratefully appreciated please (and yes, I know I’m a complete idiot!).
💗

I have always been short, which my in-laws have always found hilarious. Whenever I see them there are comments on my heights, comparing me to the children, jokes etc etc. sometimes I laugh it off, sometimes I roll my eyes, but on a couple of occasions I have actually made it clear I don’t find it funny. One family member once asked me if I mind it and when I said I didn’t like it they stopped. The others haven’t (the children now join in).

I didn’t go to the last family occasion because I’m getting tired of it (it’s been over 10 years). I told DH and said I was happy for him to go and to take the kids too, but he said he didn’t want to (it’s a 2 hour drive and they’re not particularly close). When he told his SIL (just said we couldn’t come) she expressed some disappointment. We have one of the kids (teenager) coming to visit soon and I don’t know how to respond if any comments come up.

I’d love some advice on how to handle future comments. AIBU to be irritated to the point of avoiding them or should I get a thicker skin?

We can learn other languages so why can’t we speak to animals? Or understand their communication

My DS (almost 14) doesn't want to go on holiday with his dad, my ex-DH, and has twice told him this directly.

My ex-DH is saying my DS has to go, no question. They are meant to go on Sunday. Other people going will be my DD(nearly 16), a friend of hers, two grandparents (ex DH's mum and dad), and ex-DH's new-ish live-in partner and her child (DD, 5).

My DS is asking me to speak to the dad for him as he really doesn't want to go.

I've no idea how to handle this. Custody is 50/50 (informally) and I think my DC are both old enough to decide what they do and don't want to do (DS is almost 14 and DD is nearly 16).

If my DC didn't want to go with me somewhere and wanted to stay with the dad instead, I wouldn't dream of trying to force them.

My DS is giving two reasons for not wanting to go. One, because he just wants to chill at home and see his friends, as I've already taken DC on two trips. (One was a short trip to my home country where they have family they can only see once a year, therefore not 'just' a holiday. The other is the exotic holiday we've just come back from. In total kids have been away with me for 19 days but this was all agreed with ex DH beforehand)

The other reason is that he just doesn't enjoy being with his dad when dad's new GF and her young kid are there (they now live with my ex-DH and the entire dynamic has changed since they've moved in).

Ex-DH is already blaming me, saying this is the result of me having taken them away too much this summer.

What do I do? Do I speak to ex-DH to say DS doesn't want to go, and he should give him a break, as he'll only alienate him if he forces him? If I don't try to speak up for my DS, he'll feel he's got no one backing him up and, honestly, I don't think my child should need anyone's permission to stay at home with his mum - this is his home, even if he's normally here just 50% of the time.

I also feel it's my ex-DH's own fault for this situation because the kids used to have a brilliant relationship with him and adored going away with him. We did 8 years of fantastic coparenting, until he met his current partner; she moved in after a very short amount of time, they now also work together, and everything is focused towards her and her DD(5). My DC have said that they feel like visitors in their dad's house. Things between my ex and me have been very strained because of this (I have tried to advocate for the children), and I'm weary of making them worse, but I also really want to help my child feel supported and stay at home with me if he wants to.

Am I wrong to think he's old enough to decide? Please help - what's a reasonable course of action here?

I was in Marbella old town a few weeks ago and saw a lovely smallish bag with a long handle to be worn cross-body or to hang at hip level.

It was leather (or at least looked like leather and the price indicated it probably was real, but could easily have been fake leather as I didn’t have time to stick around and check) and had a kind of flap over the top in a brown/tan colour that made it look kind of like a mini longchamp pliage.

There were a variety of colours inc a lovely green and a yellow. It cost €69.

I couldn’t buy it at the time (time restraints with family and I don’t spend £60 on a bag on a whim) but have been regretting it ever since. I have tried googling to find something like it online, but cannot find anything remotely similar. I suspect it was a local maker/supplier. I cannot remember the name of the shop or the street it was on, other than it was one or two doors up from a wee jewellery shop (Cheap jewellery - my teens were in it), and it was on the left hand side as you walked up the street towards the heart of the old town, with the main road behind you.

People who are good at these things - is there any way to find it?!??

My sister has 2 sons who are 26 and 20. My older nephew lives with his girlfriend and my younger nephew has been at uni for 2 years. He lives away from home in term time, but goes home in the holidays.

My sister has been in a relationship with a man for 5 years and they started living together last November. My nephew has been home a few times since he has lived there for Christmas and weekends.

My nephew has decided he doesn’t want to live with her partner when he comes home and spoke to my sister over the phone about it just before he was due to come home for summer. My sister told him that her partner would be staying and she had waited a long time for him to move in. She reassured my nephew that he was always welcome with them but he decided not to go home for summer and has stayed alone in the house he shares with university friends.

My nephew is currently visiting us for my son’s birthday and has asked if we would allow him to live with us when he wants to come “home” for the holidays. Obviously this puts us in an awkward situation. I’ve told my sister that he has asked and she dismissed it as something that can’t happen, but we have told her that we are willing to let him stay with us if she can’t sort things out with him. She has rowed with us over it and sees us as unreasonable for considering it.

Are we being unreasonable? I can see my sisters side of things but I’m worried about my nephew. We have encouraged him to talk to his mum again and would prefer him to live with her, but if he won’t, we feel obliged to offer him somewhere to call home. My sister refuses to see our side of things and thinks he is just sulking at not getting his own way. I’ve asked my nephew why he doesn’t want to live with my sisters partner and he says that he feels uncomfortable because he doesn’t know him and feels like an outsider there.

Our baby is 7 months now and we only had sex for a bit after the birth (there was a sort of surge of hormones and it was rampant for a short period of time).

Now it’s been months since we last had sex. I am really confused as to what I am supposed to do. I am not happy living like this and it makes me miserable. I feel like my husband is trying to make a housemate out of me. He essentially wants to carry on as normal, be chatty and keep talking throughout the day in particular if he is working from the office but there is no sex, no affection, no intimacy of any kind. Because of this, I have felt distant from him and increasingly annoyed at him, and I find it hard to act all chatty and normal. I have communicated it to him in detail many times now, we’ve had long conversations. But nothing’s changed.

I resent him because he’s ruining my maternity leave. I am meant to be enjoying my baby but inevitably my marriage situation ends up making me feel flat. If I were single, I wouldn’t be dating at this point as my baby is too young and I am busy. But considering I am married and living under the same roof as my husband, I feel awful being so physically separated. I feel distant emotionally too because of that.

I just feel very angry at him sometimes particularly when I receive another breezy message talking about his day and asking about mine. I AM NOT YOUR HOUSEMATE.

Really, I feel trapped. I am not single and choosing not to date currently. I am married and denied intimacy. It feels humiliating and upsetting. I don’t want to leave just yet, it seems too early to exit and also I would like a sibling for my child from the same dad, whether we be together into old age or not. And he knows that too.

He himself says he feels emotionally distant and that’s why we aren’t having sex and I’m creating that emotional distance, again, because we aren’t having sex. It’s a vicious circle but I have tried to be all breezy and chatty and allow for some emotional intimacy however that hasn’t resulted in sex.

Does anyone have any advice for me? My thoughts are disjointed so I appreciate my post may be, too. I feel so upset. And stuck. I am 31 years old if that matters.

Welcome to the EastEnders spoilers thread, where we post and talk about any EE spoilers we've read about, including those in early release episodes on iPlayer.

Link below to watch episodes on BBC iPlayer - these are usually dropped at 6am on broadcast days - and you can read brief synopses of upcoming episodes:

www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b006m86d

Has anyone used a perfume free antiperspirant? Did it work? Trying to find one for holidays so that I don’t get bitten by mozzies.

🎄 Harrods Christmas shop is open!

🎄 I'm reliably informed that 'Christmas' is arriving in B&M the first week of September too!

Hi all, this is more of a rant than anything because I’m honestly just frustrated.
I gave birth to my son at the beginning of August, and my husband and I have chosen his name together.

We’ve named him after my father with his middle name being my grandfather’s name. We’ve also given him a double-barrelled surname/name incorporating both mine and his dad’s names.

My family are absolutely thrilled. My dad in particular is over the moon and feels incredibly honoured that his grandson has been named after him.

I am born in 89, my name was old even then and I’ve grown into it I love it, I always get compliments on it or just people curious about it. DH has somewhat of an old name too. I was never going to name my child whether boy or girl something old fashion. If we had a daughter she would have been name Agatha.

The name itself is quite old-fashioned. Think along the lines of Hugo/Herbert, although it isn’t either of those. Personally I love it and think it’s the sort of name that will grow with him. It might sound very “old man” on a newborn, but I can picture it perfectly on him as a little boy, teenager and adult.

The thing is, my husband and I discussed the names at length and he has always been completely on board. We also deliberately decided not to tell anyone the name or even the sex before the birth. This is our first baby and we wanted to keep it completely to ourselves and just enjoy finding out when he arrived.

DH’s parents, however, are furious about the name. His mother mainly.

Apparently it’s “unfair” that we’ve used family names from my side and that they weren’t consulted.

MIL came round last night to check on us and, inevitably, the subject came up again.
I’ll admit I was probably snappier than I should have been, but after hearing yet again how unfair it all was, I told her: “he is my son I name him not you if you want a child to name to have on yourself” She was obviously offended and the atmosphere went very awkward. My husband did his best to calm things down.

Now I’m wondering whether I was completely out of order in how I said it.
I absolutely stand by the fact that DH and I are the only people who get to decide our son’s name. But perhaps I could have handled MIL’s feelings better, especially as I’m freshly postpartum and emotions are obviously running high.

My dad died 2 years ago leaving his wife. My mum and dad split up when I was about 4 due to my dad having an affair with her. I’ve never been very close to my dad’s wife but I’ve obviously been pleasant as I wanted to see my dad and understand she was part of that.

My dad was married to her since I was about 6. We were about 60/40 between my mum and dad’s house and we all saw our dad regularly as adults. My dad and his wife also had a child together so we have a half sibling.

My dad’s wife is now ill and needs some care at home. Our half sibling is expecting me and my siblings to help with care. We have all said no for our own differing reasons.

Half sibling is now going round to other family to say how selfish we are as her mum ‘raised us’. We have all had messages to say our dad would be disappointed and saddened.

Are we the unreasonable ones to not care for her? We all have busy lives and responsibilities elsewhere but bottom line is that we don’t want to have to look after her. We have told our half sister she can do it or she can pay for carers.

Does the fact they’re white mean they’re imported ?

AIBU to say I am not cooking for my in-laws anymore?

Lots of back story with in-laws being rude to me, but this really pissed me off, was the straw that broke the camels back.

We seem to always end up hosting everyone at our house for Easter, Christmas etc. Although not always on the main day because PIL usually get a better offer from her SiL or her own sister and her DH.

Last Sunday we had a lunch at our house. I’m not sure what the latest thing is that I’ve done, as no one will ever tell me, but my PIL and SIL all refused to eat anything I’d prepared. They brought a few dishes themselves, asked what my DH had made and stuck to that. You may think I’m being paranoid but I’m not. This is the kind of games they play.

Usually when MIL and FIL come alone they are happy to eat whatever with my FIL actually telling me that I’m a great cook.

I just found this really utterly rude and I am done. I put so much effort into cleaning the house, shopping, planning and cooking dishes (I made fresh bread, side dishes and 2 desserts) and they ate none of it. They even asked who made what.

My DH fully admits that his family like to play politics but I’ve had enough of being one of the main villains.

It’s nearly that time when Christmas is discussed and who is doing what and when. I’m just not doing it. I’m not having any of them over at all. If DH wants to see them he can go and meet them in a restaurant.

I’ve been so stupid putting up with this crap but I’m done.

They are responsible for so many evils in the world in comparison to females
The females I know are just so much more capable and emotionally stable
I love Dh but often find myself helping him to regulate his emotions or balancing things on days out to keep the mood good for the Dc
My father, I adore, but my mother's life has not been easy with him in many aspects

Is this a peri/late 40's thing?

Feel like I'm seeing how things really are and it isn't great