Has anyone been able to buy this in the UK recently? I’d really like to try it but it’s out of stock everywhere I can think to check.
TIA

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I'd like to get rid of our bath and install a shower cubicle which would free up some much needed storage space in our small family bathroom.

No one in our household has had a bath in years and I feel a shower cubicle would work better for us (me and two adult DC).

The master bedroom already has a small en-suite shower room which DH uses.

But I'm concerned no bath could put people off buying when we sell up in a few years time (5+ years).

Would you be happy buying a house with no bath?

What's peoples views on children sleeping in the same bed as the parents. As a child I was always expected to stay in my own bed unless I was ill or occasionally I'd come in just before it was time to get up like Christmas or birthdays.
My ex has always insisted that both our children share our bed, when they were younger 3-5 if ever I complained I wasn't getting much sleep and it was affecting my work I'd end up on the sofa and after several days with a bad back she moved a camp bed into their room and slept with them in their room, for many months. This went on for several years, and due to various other factors but this being the main one we've now separated. The children are now 10 & 12 and still share a bed with her, but not when they stay with me. Everyone I speak to about it, friends and family seem to think it's completely wrong. Yet her and her group of friends seem to think it's perfectly normal. Is it just completely different styles of parenting?

And I feel like a wimp. Why am i so weak. Why cant i cope with what others cope with. I am busy but i know others are super busy too.
I have 3 kids and my husband does work long days. Often 8am-8pm ish sometimes bit esrluer sometimes later.
I work 27 hours a week in a primary school as an SEN classroom assistant.
I work 10 hours a week for my second job. Which i Love but can be alot.
We have 0 family support and live in. Rural area. Kids cant go out and play really as big main road and not much else.
I have early mornings every morning.
Kids hobbies are another thing organising their time and sxheduals and making sure they hace what they need abs are in the right place at right time is all on me. Three dofferent schools with dofferent scheduals. Again all on me. Planning etc for wverything all on me.
I just feel like if i ever have free time its used to do online food shop. Or plan things. Batch cook. Clean etc.
I kyst feel so so tired. I drea. About a day of doing nothing. My brain feels worn out. I cant think straight. I get sick all the time and i look a mess!
What is wrong with me and how can i get my fire back

Saw that Parentkind's big parent survey this year (over 6,000 parents) found half back cutting the summer break by a week and moving it elsewhere, with only 21% against. 51% said school holidays are financially difficult. Travel groups want the weeks moved to October and February half-terms to spread prices.

Supporters say six weeks stretches budgets and childcare, and a better-spread year would ease peak prices. Opponents say the long break gives families real time together and children (and teachers) a proper rest, and changing it just moves the costs around.

Would you shorten it, or keep the six weeks?

Tonight my dh tried to grope my boobs whilst the baby was asleep next to me. I have asked him so many times to not do it when the children are around as it makes me feel really uncomfortable. Tonight I added that it really triggers my ocd too and to please stop. He got up and said it’s not even that sexual and stormed out the room. I’m so upset and I have no clue how to handle this as he just doesn’t understands and emotional and mental health stuff at all. Please help a

Welcome to our long running thread for political discussion, general chit chat, a friendly hug and taxes in kind.

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Previous thread
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Perhaps I'm naive, but I honestly don't think it's anything sexual/romantic. She's 15 years older than him and seems very happily married.

She has hated our relationship from the start - we were friends beforehand and us getting together changed the dymnamic of the group, which has more or less fizzled out now. We did consciously try not to behave differently with the group, but obviously we started doing things as a couple rather than always as a group. I expect the change to the dynamic was inevitable?

She has told me she doesn't think he's good enough for me - she thought I'd be with someone professional.

She often does things to take his attention away from me. She's very loud and much more outgoing than I am, loves to be the centre of attention, and he gives that to her.

I've realised looking back on my own friendship with her, that you can only be her friend if you do what she wants. E.g. she took great offence because I declined an activity she wanted to do, but she didn't come to DP's birthday because the thing he had arranged (that he enjoys) was "boring".

She is constantly driving a wedge, persuading him that the thing she wants is more fun than then thing I want....but he lets her.

We are great together when it's just us but awful whenever she's around.

Is it me and some unrational jealousy, or him and a weird fixation?

Do you agree?

Dd when she finished her bowl of pomegranate seeds on the sofa asked Dh to go and put it in the kitchen please. Each time this happens or she asks for a drink/snack, he says she should take it back herself etc. I tend to do it mostly for her, she's very independent, always has been, sorts her own school bag, homework, showers etc, but she's still only young and it's not too much that a parent brings her food and drinks, is it?!

Dh and I disagree a little on this

How much do you do for your 8 year old (or around that age)?

I feel that I’m not BU here obviously but it’s a tricky situation.
2yr old likes spending overnights with her grandparents and due to distance it’s for 2 nights at a time only once every other month or so. Since the start the grandparents have refused to say goodbye to her because it makes them upset, instead they drop her off and sneak out as soon as she’s distracted.

Toddler finds this very upsetting as she doesn’t get closure and know where they’ve gone, queue lots of looking around asking where they are and we do explain to her that they had to go home but it just doesn’t click in her brain as they just disappeared that they’ve gone home. It takes another 2 days for her to get over this and clearly makes her anxious.

I have told them that they need to say goodbye even if it makes them uncomfortable to see her sad as it’s unfair for her to go through all the searching and anxiety.

I simply got a ‘no she’s too young to understand’ and ‘we don’t see her often enough for her to understand that we’ll see her soon’.

Grandparents are now asking about new dates to have them and that they wanted to take her to see Santa and I have said that we could all come down as a compromise as then as a family well say bye to grandparents house and town etc to offer closure. The response I got was essentially ‘no, never mind what we wanted to do is fully booked’.

Side note I did check and it’s still available for booking but I think I’ve really put them about the whole saying bye and if not we all need to come down. We have another baby and would have been staying in a hotel with no expectation of us being with them or interrupting grandparents time with 2yr.

So, am I being unreasonable and if so, what is a more reasonable option if they will not say goodbye to the toddler.

DSS5 is 5, joint custody.

When we got married DSS was 2. We lived with DHs mum as he was made redundant just after the wedding and we couldn’t afford the joint mortgage anymore. I worked full time (still do) and worked long hours in order to be able to buy again. We moved into our house in April this year.

Whilst living with his mum, there was no room for 2 bedrooms. DSS slept in a bed in our room which was, I hate to admit it, miserable. He’d wake up in the night constantly and I never got a full nights sleep. I didn’t feel like we had any privacy. When we moved into our new house, I specifically said I wasn’t comfortable for DSS to be in our bed. Reasons included it’s our space, we have sex in there, it disrupts sleep, it’s lack of boundaries, DSS mum might object, I don’t feel comfortable sharing a bed with him, and I want a distinction between being a stepparent and a partner - when DSS slept in the room with us, I was expected to interact immediately when he woke up, otherwise I was selfish.

Many times I’ve come home from work and they’ll be watching a movie in our bed or DH gets him to sleep in there. I tried not to say anything but felt like I was being ignored.

I take a proactive role in DSS life. I do school drop offs as it fits with my work pattern, I play with him everyday and generally very loving towards him. I’ve tried my best to be a loving figure to him.

Today at 7am, DSS normal wake up, he came into our room and asked DH for breakfast. DH pulled him up into bed. I said “please can we not do the sharing bed thing” (I was half asleep). He flipped and told me to fuck off, threw a pillow across the room. He said, when DSS was in another room, that I will expect our child to share a bed with us, why should he miss out?

i know i chose to be in a relationship with DH who has a child. And I think I’ve adapted and tried to show him lots of love. But I feel like I’m not allowed a say in anything. Anything I say is perceived as anti-DSS and being selfish. DH also chose to be in a relationship with someone without children, so surely there is understanding that I would feel uncomfortable about bed sharing?

aibu?

I'm a single mum to a young boy who is autistic and non-verbal. My sister is my closest and only family member, and she has a daughter herself.
I've asked whether my son and I could spend some time with them on Christmas Day, but she's refused and said she'll see us on Boxing Day instead.

For context, my sister's partner absolutely hates me. Last year, I contacted social services after he was physically violent towards her, including strangling her. Ever since, he's held this against me and doesn't want me in their home.

My sister is still with him. She says she's spoken to him extensively about us spending Christmas together, but he refuses. Her response is that he lives there too, so it's his decision as well.
I appreciate that it's his home too and that my sister has offered Boxing Day. I also understand that she may be in a difficult position.

However, I'm incredibly hurt. My son and I don't have a large family network, and the thought of spending Christmas Day just the two of us while my sister, niece and her partner celebrate together makes me feel incredibly unwanted and excluded.

I'm not asking to spend the entire day there. Even a couple of hours together would mean a lot to me.

What hurts particularly is that I feel I'm being punished for raising concerns about my sister's safety. I would never dream of leaving her and my niece without family on Christmas Day if the situation were reversed. I've told her how hurt I am, but nothing has changed.

I genuinely want some objective opinions because I know emotions are involved.

AIBU to expect my sister to make more of an effort to include us, or am I being unfair given that it's also her partner's home and she's offered Boxing Day?

Hear me out before you attack.

Currently living in rental property after splitting with ex partner. We own the home he is living in jointly.
The landlord of my rental wants to sell and I would like to buy it but the additional 5% stamp duty rate for what would count as a second home is a killer.
Are there any conveyancing solicitors who could advise on how to avoid (not evade) this extra 5%?

Apparently you lot like gunk. The "juicier" the better. I am not a fan, but I've been told that you will bite my hand off for images of my husband's back cyst, with the pus in all its glory. He's now on his second week of strong antibiotics to help remove it and he sees the nurse practitioner twice a week to have more pus removed and his dressing changed. But I have to change his dressing in between times. This is real love.

So I'm doing this for your sake, and for @AMansAManForAllThat.

And you also get a picture or two of his neck cyst that has been drained once, but has refilled and the GP says they don't drain them a second time.

You have been warned.

There are a lot of images over the last month from a red bump that wasn't sore to, well you'll see...

I'm posting this now, then I'll switch to my phone so I can load the images for you.

I'm looking for a corduroy dress, probably button through, preferably elbow length sleeves, just above knee length. It needs to be a petite fit ideally- I'm 5ft 1 and size 16. I've tried a couple from Next - a green one from m&co- sleeves too tight and restrictive and a beautiful dark red one from love and roses - too a line for me. Any ideas anyone please? Any suggestions of an alternative would be welcome. Just needs to be warmish and suitable for a nice pub lunch. Can anyone help please?

I went for drinks with my friend this afternoon. It was just a casual thing. Not to a posh bar or anything. I was wearing a coat I wear quite often. I have had compliments on the jacket before. I met with my friend and we were walking into the bar and she said “I love you but that jacket is awful”. AIBU to feel hurt and upset by this comment? We were already out so no chance for me to change the jacket so it just made me feel really insecure and embarrassed. I’ve been through a hard time lately and have pretty low self esteem which my friend is aware of. I made it clear the comment had hurt my feelings and my friend said I was over reacting and it’s ok for her not to like my jacket. Am I being overly sensitive or is it a bit cruel of her to tell me that at a time when I had no option to change what I was wearing?

I have been suffering with TMJ disorder for years. I have tried pretty much everything and spent x73848949494 pounds on trying to fix myself. I started seeing a specialist physio at the start of the year and it helped a bit over the summer but it is just getting worse again. I am so fed up and I dont know what to do.

I came down with some sort of virus/chest infection around 4 weeks ago, it aggravated my asthma and since then the pain has spread to my neck, shoulder and back. It is constant and even paracetamol and ibuprofen won't take it away completely. The GP treated me with steroids, two rounds of antibiotics and a chest xray but then told me that it's a virus and to go away and come back if I get worse. My cough has gone but my lungs don't feel back to normal, I am sooo fatigued and I can only do so much before I have to stop and lie down. The GP won't listen to me, I pretty much begged them to help me and they told me to go away, it's a virus and only to come back if it gets worse.

What am I supposed to do now? I am so worried that there is something underlying that they are not bothering to investigate. The GP didn't even take bloods to check. My auntie had stage 4 lung cancer and an xray didnt pick that up so why are they not seeing if something else is wrong? My friend had neck pain and they ignored her until the pain got so bad and turned out she had breast cancer. They both died in the past year. How can I get the GP to listen to me? I know that I am anxious but I just need to be better and no one is helping me and I don't know how to fix myself. What do I do?

Am I being unreasonable? Partner’s children, boundaries and blended family
I’d really appreciate some outside perspective because I’m exhausted and starting to feel like I’m constantly the difficult one.
My partner and I have been together for a few years. We don’t live together permanently. He has two children and I have two children, and we’ve deliberately kept our own homes because of the children.
I’ve recently had knee surgery and, because I’m currently very limited with mobility, I’m staying at his house for around six weeks while I recover. He’s working all day and then helping with my children, doing school runs, cooking etc., so I completely appreciate that he is doing a lot at the moment.
Last year, on the exact day of my knee surgery, there was a huge situation involving his ex-wife and daughter needing to stay. This year, on the exact day of my surgery, we had another big situation involving them. It has honestly made what should have been a very difficult but quiet recovery period even more stressful.
This weekend his children are due to go to their dad’s. I suggested that we ask his children not to come here this weekend because I’m completely housebound, he’s working all day and exhausted, and I thought it would be nice for us to have a quiet weekend together. I also said that if they weren’t here, I could afford to get a takeaway for us as a little treat because I’ve already provided food for the next few weeks while I’m recovering.
When his children are here, there are often messages late into the night because they have decided they’re hungry after refusing dinner, want something bought, want money for something, or want to go somewhere. They can also be awake until 4/5am making noise, and then we’re expected to be quiet during the day because they are sleeping.
I find it incredibly difficult, particularly while recovering from surgery and being largely bedbound.
His children had previously started coming every other weekend when my children were here, but his eldest seems to be coming on the other weekends again now. It also feels like we don’t do anything together because my partner feels guilty going anywhere if she is at home.
For example, we took all the children away for a weekend recently and she spent virtually the entire two days in the bedroom. I’m struggling with the idea of spending a lot of money for someone to come away with us when they don’t actually want to participate. I don’t want to exclude her, but equally I don’t think every family activity should be dictated by whether she wants to attend.
There are also basic things that are getting to me because I’m already struggling physically. They don’t tidy up after themselves, leave half-drunk bottles of water everywhere because they won’t drink tap water, and generally leave more work for us.
Then there’s the issue with my partner’s ex.
She has apparently been looking at my Facebook through the children and commenting on what my partner spends on me and what he buys me compared with what he spends on them. I genuinely don’t understand why that is my responsibility. He is currently doing my school runs because I have literally just had surgery and cannot do them myself. That doesn’t mean he should suddenly have to justify anything he spends on me.
There was also an issue last week because I went with him to parents’ evening. His ex has previously excluded him from communication with the school and allowed their daughter to be homeschooled, which unfortunately didn’t work out.
I have been the one pushing for her to get back into school, having meetings, speaking to the previous school and getting information together. Now she is at a new school, we have a joint email address and I help manage the communication during the day because he is working and cannot always access his phone. If something needs his input, I contact him through work.
His ex is now unhappy about me being involved.
What I find particularly frustrating is that she previously wanted my help with homeschooling, taking their daughter out, and spending my own money and time doing things with her. But now that I’m involved in the school side and actually helping her get settled, apparently I’m overstepping.
There is now another issue around concerts and activities. My partner has apparently been told that whenever we want to go to a concert, he has to ask his daughters whether they want tickets because we went to see an artist this year who the youngest suddenly decided she liked, and she was upset that she wasn’t taken.
I’m sorry, but I don’t agree with this. If my partner and I want to go to a concert together, surely we are allowed to do that without having to offer his children tickets every single time?
I completely understand that his children should feel included and loved. I also understand that I have chosen to be with someone who has children and that they will always be a priority to him.
But I’m starting to feel like there is no space for us as a couple, and that every decision we make has to revolve around whether his children might be upset.
I also feel like I’m being expected to financially contribute to things for his children, accommodate them in our home, help with school, include them in trips and activities, etc., while at the same time his ex seems to resent my involvement and scrutinise what my partner spends on me.
So, genuinely, am I being unreasonable?
Should I just accept that this is what being in a relationship with someone with children looks like, or is it reasonable to expect some boundaries and for us to have a life together that doesn’t revolve around his children’s every request?
I’m particularly interested in hearing from people in blended families or people who have been the partner without children in this situation. How do you actually make it work without resentment building up?

I've been picking up Xmas food here and there when at the shops and was looking at Aldi's crisp offerings which were a bit uninspiring - turkey and thyme, pigs in blankets. Anyone seen any good ones out there they can recommend? Thanks!

On a quick work trip and I’ll have 20 mins to pop into a French pharmacy.

What do I need to buy? Probably Bioderma eye make up remover.

Any other recommendations please? Love it in there as everything is super reasonable, but it’s busy and packed with products and I don’t know what to get 😂

Has anyone else noticed this? I normally have major resting bitch face and have been told by various people I have a very serious and dont talk to me look.
Despite my attempts to ease my face and give off im friendly vibes most people dont come near me. ( I have honestly thought about a she's friendly badge to put on lol)

Over the past week things have changed. People now ask me questions and even try and have small talk ( today at bus stop) Just a general friendly vibe I get from people all over.

I have made one change
Can anyone guess what?

I am a short woman and am generally ok with my physical shortcomings.

Except for one bugbear. Whenever I am in a public space where there is a crowd, and where people need to get through the crowd, I feel as though I am the gap.

For example, if I am standing in a busy train station waiting my train platform to be announced, I am pushed and jostled out of the way more than my taller fellow travellers. This isn’t because I am more in the way, but I believe it’s because I’m small, so they think I am a gap for them to squeeze past.

It’s the same at festivals, anywhere busy really. Both men and women are way more likely to push and nudge their way through right where I am standing. The taller people around me do not have to move. Sometimes I shift but sometimes I stay planted on the spot and just end up a little jostled.

Has anyone else experienced this? Are you the gap too? Please share so we can moan together!

We've been together 15+ years, married with kids last 5, I thought we covered all the topics when it comes to values and principles - especially related to the way we raise our children but turns out he was full of it - to put it bluntly.
Essentially, with meeting new kids/parents through nursery/school - I now realise he is very much leaning toward being,well, racist 😔
You would think - how did I not notice this before....well the thing is he was always respectful to friends or colleagues regardless the ethnicity - but now when we discuss behaviour that our child picks up from the nursery from another child - he attributes/explains behaviours with 'well ofcourse this happened considering he is x'.
Then slowly such vocabulary moved into every day conversations about e.g. neighbours - he'd say derogatory things about particular nation based on behaviour of a single person that affects us.
I am just so blindsided and can't stop thinking about how this will shape our children.
How could I have been so blind...or could he had just pretended all this time, and why??
Or can people change their views about something so basic so dramatically?
Recently he started making mean comments about LGBTQ community too - I mean we have friends that he loves or I thought so...
I am also thinking his mum's recent visit may have encouraged him to speak up - clearly these are the values he was brought up with.
I am also ashamed... I am looking at my DS atm sleeping - he is such a warm friendly loving and a smart boy and he is being exposed to comments like this. He loves all his little friends. He was talking proudly about friends he'd like to invite to his bday and his grandma actually asked him what colour is a certain child...she also described a 4 yo girl in the playground as fat.
I am sorry if this is a jumble of topics here - a husband showing true colours years later, a toxic mil, a clash in values, challenge with co-parenting, protecting a child from instilling wrong values...
So is it that I was blind all this time (YANBU) and I just never got to know him - or people actually can just change their core values so drastically (YABU).

I recently started a new job after leaving a role I’d been in for nearly two years. I was genuinely excited about the opportunity, but it’s been a really difficult experience.

I was promised six weeks of handover and training, but the person I was replacing left after just seven working days. I’ve been left managing a significant workload while still trying to learn the systems and processes.

My immediate team have been lovely, but support from other departments has been lacking, and some interactions have felt quite unkind.

For context, I suffer with anxiety, so my working environment and the support around me make a huge difference to how I thrive. I’ve worked in demanding roles before and I’m more than capable of handling a busy workload, but I need to feel comfortable asking questions, particularly when I’m new.

The situation has completely knocked my confidence. I’ve been working late, constantly worrying and feeling physically sick at the thought of going into the office. It’s also affecting my home life.
I’ve raised my concerns with my manager, but my anxiety has reached the point where I’ve had to take time off.

I’m now considering resigning, but I have a young child, financial commitments and no other job secured. I’m actively applying and speaking with recruiters, but nothing is guaranteed.
I feel like a failure for wanting to leave so soon, but equally I can’t imagine continuing to feel this way.

AIBU to resign without another job lined up, or would you try to stick it out?