My surgery is booked for early November and wondered if anyone here has recommendations for a good surgery bra? Also how long until you was up and about afterwards. Thanks

My (supposedly) best friend has dirt on my husband, I’ve seen messages to confirm this, husband said at the time that revealing said dirt “would make me ill”. implored her not to tell me. This all happened at a very stressful time. Two ish years ago. I buried it, it was an awful time. Now it’s all I can think about.

wwyd?

Hope I'm not tempting fate with that thread title
This is intended as a friendly, kind, safe, warm and fuzzy place for people to share discounts, bargains and Christmas gift ideas both online and IRL. Please note the tone and intention of the thread and join with spirit as generous as DC helping themselves to the Christmas chocolate celebrations .

Here’s some useful information about how to save the thread or a specific post so you don’t need to have a message to check in for every thread so you have the thread saved:

To watch the thread - click on the little bell that has ‘watch’ under my first message. This adds the whole thread to your ‘watched threads’

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If there’s anything you think would be useful or good to include in this post then please do tag me and let me know here (or DM me).

You are all wonderful and I’m now going back to my mince pie and stollen (never too early!).

I live in the south west. From October to March, our weather is 99% driving rain and howling wind. I’ve tried over the years to find a decent winter coat that keeps me warm and dry. I’ve found a few that work somewhat, including a lovely M&S rain jacket, but it’s a bit thin.

im considering just biting the bullet and buying a big waterproof changing coat from regatta and being cosy.

But does it look a bit wanky?! Is it okay?!

this is the one I have my eye on

https://www.regatta.com/adults-waterproof-changing-robe-dark-cherry/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=%7Bcampaignname%7D_16108952393&utm_content=%7Badgroupname%7D_&utm_term=&utm_brand=regatta&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=16097452002&gbraid=0AAAAADQdSE8zgQrK5ij4KWiKVriu-WZ3p&gclid=CjwKCAjwwrPVBhA1EiwAv_YO-URMzXzdUfe_4pedDIy1IwFhHmTq04jbmI2WidUesYp3VTPhi4AJvBoCfVEQAvD_BwE

YABU - accept the soggy legs and wear something more dignified

YANBU - stay warm and dry

I'm a cat sitter and having the worst week ever.
I love cats, I have cats and my job is cats.
And for the first time one of my clients has gone missing :(
He's an indoor/outdoor cat with catflap microchip and lives in a rural location (think orchards,stables etc) and I have not seen him for 5 days. His brother is there every time I visit (twice a day) . I have varied the visit times and even gone back three times in the evening but no sign.
The owners are away for several weeks.
I've called all the vets and no cat of his descritption has been brought in, which is good but I'm so worried and sad... I've never had a cat go missing on me before.
All the food is being eaten so maybe he's just coming in when I'm not there, but if I can have some cat returning vibes please...

I have felt like crap for years. I have tried everything to feel well and I live as healthily as I can. I have been back and forth to various GPs and have had several hospital tests, everything has returned 'normal' but I still feel dreadful most days.

I have ended up having to reduce my work hours dramatically over the last few years due to how I feel so money is now very tight and I can not afford to see anyone privately but I was so desperate a few months ago I paid privately for some blood tests. I had my iron profile, thyroid, folate, Vitamin D, HbA1c and B12 tested. All came back ok apart from my active B12 and Transferrin satuation.

The Active B12 and the transferrin satuation came back as out of range but my GP said it was nothing to be concerned about. She re-checked the tests for me, the B12 came back as within range but I notice she had ordered Serum B12 not Active. The transferrin saturate came back the same as the private company, she wasn't concerned and said I can have it re-checked in 3 months, if I want to. I have no idea why it would be higher than normal as I don't take any supplements. Also my folate was just 3.3 ug/L last summer but has leapt to 10.2 this summer and no idea why - again GP not concerned about this.

I feel just awful, every day and don't know who to go to for help anymore. I am exhausted every day, I wake up tired and could sleep all day if I let myself. I have a long history with IBS but my guts are upset every day (acid, nausea, bloating, burping, pain, upset tummy and swinging between loose stool and diarrhoea, flatulence etc), I have had colonoscopies, gastroscopes, scans for BAM, Gallstones and tests for H Pylori, Coeliac, infections etc. They all return as ok which is great but no amount of careful eating, avoiding foods that upset me etc is helping one little bit and no IBS meds help me anymore.

I regularly suffer from a sore tongue, tinnitus which drives me insane, my head feels fuzzy when I stand up, I ache all over and every day, I just can not relax. I am depressed with such a very low mood, irritable and anxious all the time. My vision is always kind of fuzzy but I can't quite explain that one as sight tests are always ok.

And I am so so tired all the time, I really could sleep all day. I wake up exhausted despite sleeping 7-8 hours all night. I just can not get anyone to take it seriously, it's been going on for years now and I just don't know what to do anymore.

I don't know what else to try, do I just accept feeling like crap and just live out my life like this? Does anyone know if these out of range bloods hold any significance to how I am feeling? No doctor seems interested so maybe I am grasping at straws here?

I know I shouldn't use AI but I did ask ChatGPT and it said although my B12 wasn't screamingly out of range it still shows something and should be looked at but who is going to take this seriously?

I'll keep it brief, my parents both died some time ago, and I can't get over this.

The estate was split with 20% going to me and 80% to my sister. She gets £160k I get £40k.

Both about the same age, both been a part of the family equally, she is wealthier than me by a large margin.

I want to cut all ties as she refuses to balance out the amounts, even a 60:40 split.

We're it the other way round I would be uncomfortable with the settlements and would rectify it, she won't.

AIBU?

We are booked to go. 2 adults and ds14 and dd10. Hoping to do the salt mines.

Does anyone have recommendations for great things to do and places to eat? We like museums, history, exploring etc... We won't be doing Auschwitz. I'm a vegetarian too, are any good pizza/pasta type places? TIA

Hi, just wondered if anyone had any experience with this situation and what to expect. I’ve rented my flat for over 4 years now. All private tenants. It’s a building with around 60 flats and a large communal garden positioned in the middle. I’ve always loved living here, it’s a great location and always felt safe as a single woman.
Last year we were informed that the landlord was selling the flats to another landlord. Within a few months of the sale occurring, people from the council being housed in temporary accommodation were moving in. I’m not at all trying to shame anyone in that situation because I appreciate how hard it must be, however the majority of these tenants have caused major issues for everyone else. What used to be a quiet, peaceful and safe building now feels otherwise.
Some examples:
•Drug users and drug dealers coming here
•Lots of cussing and arguments
•Domestics etc
All of these issues have meant that I often see police here now whereas before I’d never seen them not even once.
Out of the 60 flats, only around 5/6 are being used to house people in temporary accommodation. But I’m worried this will increase. Has anyone who’s rented privately had experience of this? Will the landlord keep giving more empty flats to the council when people move out? Or is there a chance they will return them to all private? I am considering moving now but I don’t want to make a rash decision in case things improve.
I’m paying nearly 2k a month to live here, which makes these issues even more infuriating.

Just that really! For context he’s 43, and self employed so it’s a work trip that he’s organised himself. It’s long haul and they will be away for a few weeks. She works for him at his house everyday mon-Fri, they are set up in his dining room. Desks next to eachother. We don’t live together.

The whole thing is making me feel a bit weird but I’m not sure why! I know if I try to talk to him about it it will just go round in circles and will just result in me feeling like a terrible person/jealous insecure girlfriend. He sees the trip as essential to the business, I don’t want to be accused of being unsupportive as I do support him massively.

just wondered how others would potentially feel about this situation? Am I being an absolute areshole girlfriend?

She's nice. Fairly new in post with the challenges that brings, but she's competent and contentious. She's in a senior role, one level down from CEO, two others at the same level in different business areas. Her role is an amalgamation of two old ones, one of which was failing (previous incumbent was sacked/managed out) so is a big piece of work to sort out.

She's completely overwhelmed. She's saying all the right things, and staying professional, probably delivering Ok upwards, but we in the team are always waiting on things and/or having to send them back for correction.

Just keep you head down or try to help?

The CEO is (IMO) a nasty bully of a man, but the chair of trustees is more approachable.

Welcome back everyone to the new thread and hello to any newbies - join us now in time for the autumnal fun. 🍂💄🌂

As always when the Advent threads are running hot this thread is a little quieter but holiday releases, sets and edits are just around the corner. I'm super excited to be going to Sephoria London in October - I still can't believe I lucked out getting a ticket.

Some exciting homegrown news -after a few technical hiccups the FB group is now searchable (but private) MN Beauty Chat Swap/Trade/Sell.* *For those interested in the group we have a few joining rules you will be asked to abide by. Thank you @MrsBnow12 @CinderellaParker for your help.

I couldn't see another thread on this topic.

I'm a Christian (born into a Catholic family, yet not aligned to any particular Church) but am AIBU for thinking that that CoE has completely lost the plot? Everything about this stinks to high heaven. Are they not embarrassed or ashamed?

Before you get in to how dodgy this guy is, his wife can't even see properly because of how he makes her dress (see pictures of her niqab, her eyes are barely visible).

This was Nick Timothy on X yesterday:

"The Archbishop of Canterbury has given Hafiz Tahir Ashrafi an award for Reconciliation and Interfaith Cooperation. He's the chairman of the Pakistan Ulema Council - a group of Islamic scholars. The lady next to him is his wife. But why did the Church grant him this award?

Presumably not for his support for Islamic blasphemy laws in Pakistan and the death penalty that comes with them?

Nor for his reported comments that suicide bombings in Afghanistan were lawful?

(Ashrafi later claimed his comments were taken out of context, but they were deemed sufficiently serious for the NATO Secretary General to respond)

The naivety of our public institutions for engaging with people like this is staggering.

But not surprising.

We are failed time and again by liberals who believe other cultures are basically the same as ours, and the world is or wants to be just like
us."

Now I may be more sensitive than most because I'm a Christian and my husband is Jewish, but is it really too much to ask our institution of English national life not to cosey up to religious extremists who hold women in contempt (and who lets face it would be happy to see most of us dead).

He looks well fed though so clearly being the chairman of the Ulema Council pays very well!

www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/ckr50lrz5e6zo

www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2026/09/17/archbishop-award-911-anniversary-cleric-bin-laden/

What's it like?

I resisted a hairdryer for years but was given one and it's transformed my unruly hair so hoping the Airsmooth will be the same . I use a Revlon One Step to finish off but it gets very hot so would like something a bit kinder on the hair.

My daughter is 16,17 at the end of this year, just started college.

She met a boy over the summer who is 15, just gone into year 11 and is 16 early next year.

They clearly like each other, but I am feeling a bit icky about it due to the stage of their lives they are at.

If they were in year 9 and year 10, ok.
First year of college, and second year of college, not a problem.

My issue is she's at college and is two months away from being 17, where he is at school and still 15, hes not 16 for another 6 months.

She's not overly confident with boys, so I'm not worried about sex and things like that just yet, but as I have explained to her, once you have been in a relationship for a while, these things can happen and he is under age.

I'm explaining implications if something did happen between them and they were found out, she would be the one in trouble.

She's got a couple of friends who are in her situation, and dating a younger boy, so she thinks its fine.

AIBU that's its just a bit off and encourage her to not pursue this? I can't physically stop her but I have already voiced my concerns so she is aware or am I being completely over the top? It just doesn't sit right with me.

I've got a leather crossbody camera bag with a wide canvas strap and I'm bored of it, feels like every other person has a variation on the same theme...but it's also really functional - right size, easy access, strap doesn't cut into shoulder, and works OK with most outfits (except v smart/dressy).

I'd like to replace it with something that feels a bit more current (or timeless!), but what? Ideally I want to tick the same boxes but change-up the style.

Welcome to Thread 8 🥳

A huge thank you to @OvaHere, @JoRaRaRa and @Thelifeofawife, @solocat

for the previous threads, and to everyone who has been sharing spoilers, information. links, bargains, discount codes and enabling each other over the first 7 threads. ❤️

As agreed, we're taking it in turns to start each new thread this year. If this thread starts getting close to the reply limit, please post to let everyone know you're happy to start the next one so we can avoid duplicate threads.

🎅 A few festive housekeeping notes:

🎁 This thread contains spoilers.
🎄 Please be kind and respectful to one another.
💸 No judging anyone for their purchasing choices (or how many calendars they buy... we're all enablers here! 😂).
🎀 Feel free to share spoilers, offers, discount codes, GWPs, delivery updates and stock alerts.

🎁 Available Now:
Boots:
www.boots.com/christmas/advent-calendars/advent-calendar-waiting-list
Luxe £150
beauty-detective.com/boots-beauty-advent-calendar-2026/
Fragrance £90
beauty-detective.com/boots-12-days-of-scent-advent-calendar-2026/
Skin £70
beauty-detective.com/boots-24-days-of-skin-advent-calendar-2026/

Liberty – £285 (Beauty Drop members receive £25 off). Now on general sale:
www.libertylondon.com/uk/features/beauty/beauty-advent-calendar#

Unboxing
P. Louise – £250. Available to pre-order with payment instalments available:
https://plouise.co.uk/collections/wonderful-world-of-p-louise-advent-calendar/products/what-glows-around-2026-advent-calendar

John Lewis – £250. Available on pre-sale via the app for MyJL members:
https://beauty-detective.com/john-lewis-beauty-advent-calendar-2026/

Harrods Beauty Advent Calendar – £270. Now on sale online and in-store:
https://www.harrods.com/en-gb/p/harrods-of-london-the-harrods-beauty-advent-calendar-2026-000000000000284475
Harrods 12 Days of Hair & Body – £99. Now on sale online and in-store:
https://www.harrods.com/en-gb/p/harrods-of-london-the-harrods-12-days-of-hair-and-body-advent-calendar-2026-000000000000284465
Harrods Fragrance Advent Calendar – £225. Pre-sale sold out. Went on sale in-store 1/9 but appears to be completely sold out:
https://beauty-detective.com/harrods-fragrance-advent-calendar-2026/

Vogue Festive Calendar – £355. Available to pre-order:
https://shop.vogue.co.uk/products/vogue-festive-calendar-2026

Fortnum & Mason Beauty Advent Calendar - £275. Available now:
https://www.fortnumandmason.com/fortnums-beauty-advent-calendar-2026

Fenwick 25 day beauty advent calendar - £250. Withdrawn due to problems with the ingredients list. When/if it will return is unknown:
https://fenwick.co.uk/products/fenwick-fenwick-beauty-25-day-advent-calendar-2026

Anthropologie 24 Day Beauty Advent Calendar – £98. Available now:
https://www.anthropologie.com/en-gb/shop/24-days-of-beauty-advent-calendar5

The Fragrance Shop - Available for pre-order £120 members, £150 non-members.

Women's Advent Calendar:
^https://www.thefragranceshop.co.uk/the-fragrance-shop/the-fragrance-shop/gift-box-advent/p/76306

Men's Advent Calendar:
^https://www.thefragranceshop.co.uk/the-fragrance-shop/the-fragrance-shop/gift-box-advent/p/76307

Selfridges
Beauty & Fragrance £250. On sale 1/9:
https://beauty-detective.com/selfridges-beauty-advent-calendar-2026/

Fragrance - current thinking is that this will cost £225 and launch around 30/9-1/10:

https://beauty-detective.com/selfridges-fragrance-advent-calendar-2026/

Elle £197 or £187 if you joined the waitlist or with MissBoux’s code available on her unboxing video:

https://beauty-detective.com/elle-advent-calendar-2026/

LookFantastic Beauty. Available for pre-order:
https://www.lookfantastic.com/p/beauty-box/the-beauty-advent-calendar-worth-over-665/17691363/

LookFantastic Fragrance. Available for pre-order:
https://www.lookfantastic.com/p/beauty-box/the-fragrance-advent-calendar-worth-over-530/17691405/

Glossybox. £90 or £75 for subscribers. Code: KAREN5 may give £5 off the £90. Available now:
https://www.glossybox.co.uk/p/beauty-box/glossybox-2026-advent-calendar-worth-over-645/17691528/

OK Beauty Box advent/Hannah Martin. Available now £109:
https://www.okbeautybox.co.uk/products/the-ok-beauty-box-advent-calendar?srsltid=AfmBOoppTH5x1vrf3PT8oCWpKiUj111T5PdA8IBPKCjA9SYOpugUFCBJ

Cult Beauty £245 - £20 gift voucher back when buying at launch 03/09 early access.
https://www.cultbeauty.co.uk/c/advent-calendar/

Harvey Nichols: Due to the recent takeover, it’s unclear if these a/cs are still going ahead for 2026. Details TBC.

Beauty:
https://www.harveynichols.com/harvey-nichols/harvey-nichols-beauty-advent-calendar-2026-75896-258491/

Fragrance:
https://www.harveynichols.com/harvey-nichols/harvey-nichols-12-days-of-fragrance-advent-calendar-2026-75906-258490/

John Lewis Fragrance £99 - appeared briefly for sale 1/9 online but this seems to have been a glitch. The calendar is either out of stock or withdrawn. It MAY reappear 21/9, (its original release date):

https://beauty-detective.com/john-lewis-fragrance-advent-calendar-2026/

Space NK £275 - available now in-store and online:

https://www.spacenk.com/uk/gifts/beauty-advent-calendars/beauty-advent-calendar-MUK200063764.html

Oh My Cream £195 with 20% off for new customers with code: WELCOME20:

https://ohmycream.co.uk//products/advent-calendar-lrnce-oh-my-cream?

YESSTYLE: $164.99 5% off with code: PAULAYES

Early access: 29/9 3am GMT
General access: 6/10 3am GMT

https://beautycalendar.com/yesstyle-advent-calendar-2026/

Sephora UK

Sephora Favourites: £235 available for pre order:

https://www.sephora.co.uk/p/sephora-favorites-advent-calendar?

Next £150 available now:
https://beauty-detective.com/next-beauty-advent-calendar-2026

Debenhams £120
https://www.debenhams.com/pages/beauty-advent-calendar

PURESEOUL £140 (first year they are doing an advent)
beauty-detective.com/pureseoul-advent-calendar-2026/

Holland Barrett: £60 - available now:

https://www.hollandandbarrett.com/shop/product/beauty-advent-calendar-6101407249?

Diptyque: £420 - available now:

uk.diptyqueparis.com/en-uk/products/advent-calendar-25-scented-treasures-xm26advent?

Jo Malone: £375 - available now;

https://www.jomalone.co.uk/product/26322/107822/gift-sets/christmas-kist-advent-calendar?

Jo Loves Waitlist:
https://www.joloves.com/pages/a-jo-loves-advent-calendar?

💄 More Calendars & Spoilers
Rather than making the opening post a mile long, here's a brilliant roundup of lots more advent calendars and the latest spoilers, including Charlotte Tilbury, Elemis, Lancôme, Tatcha, NEOM, Neal's Yard Remedies, and many more as they're announced:
👉 ^https://beauty-detective.com/category/beauty-advent-calendars^/ 👈

I'm really cross about this and don't know if I'm being unreasonable. Please help me mumsnetters. I have name changed in case this is outing. Sorry, it is long, so as to avoid a drip feed.

Back story, until very recently we owned a holiday house (just sold it this month). Half of the house belonged to me and DH and the other half was owned by DH parents. We bought our half off another relative and have owned our half for a long time, approximately 20 years.

The house is in a holiday location and has been used by DH siblings (and their partners and school aged children) as a holiday home for all of that time. They never offered any money for their stay. We didn't use it very often as we were not living in that country until a couple of years ago.

Unfortunately it appears that DH siblings viewed the house as something they were entitled to use, rather than a privilege. Obviously their parents also owned half of the house, which makes a difference to how they viewed it. On some occasions the house was left dirty after the siblings had used it and when we arrived to use it we had to clean it. They have also used it without asking, as they all have a key.

We now live in a different holiday location, about 3 hours drive away from the house, so don't need to go there for holidays anymore. But more importantly we have never rented the house, so we didn't ever benefit financially, but it cost us money in terms of maintenance. This is the reason for wanting to sell.

DH siblings have had many years of free holidays, at our expense, mainly during school holidays, when accommodation is expensive. Sadly for them with the sale of the house this has now come to an end.

There is a school holiday coming up here very soon. We as a family (me, DH and our DCs) are going overseas for the holidays, meaning our main house (our permanent family home) will be empty. One of DH siblings, who would usually go to the holiday home, has messaged him to say she doesn't know how she's going to entertain her DCs over the holiday and asking if our house is on offer to them.

I am really annoyed about this. It feels like after years and years of having free holidays in the holiday house at our expense, they now want to use our own home as an alternative.

I don't want them to use it. I don't want the stress of having to get our house ready for guests when we we're already preparing for our own trip. I dont like the idea of other people using our home when were not there. But also I think this is really cheeky and they seem to expect us to still be responsible for providing them with a free holiday.

I think allowing them to use our own house now is effectively sending the message to them that this is now their holiday home, as a replacement and sets a precedent that whenever we are away they can use it. AIBU to not want them to use it?

DH does sort of agree with me on this, however instead wants to tell them they can come to ours when we are there for a 'beach holiday'. Whilst I don't have a problem with then coming to stay for a couple of days when we're here, I don't think he should be starting to offer them 'beach holidays ' in our house at this point, being so close to the sale of the holiday house, as in my opinion it's still giving them the impression that we're responsible for providing them with holidays.

Any advice welcome. Thanks for reading!

I’m between jobs at the moment and have decided to use some of the time to basically snag my own house.

I’m going through every room and making a note of all the little things that have mildly irritated me for YEARS, but which I’ve somehow just accepted as part of life. You know the sort of thing - not actual problems, just things you regularly curse under your breath and then continue living with for another five years.

So far I have:

1. Ruthlessly slimmed down the kitchen cupboards so I could lose one cupboard and fit a tumble dryer. Every winter I normally spend approximately 46% of my waking hours hanging damp clothes around the house and rotating them like prize livestock, so I’m disproportionately excited about this.

2. Reorganised the Tupperware so every container now lives WITH ITS OWN LID. No more rummaging through 17 lids while slowly losing the will to live.

3. Thrown out about 12 random, ancient, slightly raggedy towels that had been granted permanent residency in the airing cupboard. It now has SPACE. Things are FOLDED.

4. Replaced the sieve that hasn’t had a handle since approximately 2020. Why did I just... live like that?

5. Put bigger shoe storage by the door, so we no longer have the traditional hallway shoe landslide.

6. Rewired a switch so it finally works the way you instinctively expect it to work rather than requiring a tiny moment of irritation every single time.

Honestly, none of this is exactly world peace, but the cumulative improvement to my quality of life is ridiculous. I keep thinking, WHY DID I PUT UP WITH THIS FOR SO LONG?

So humour me: what tiny, boring, seemingly insignificant thing have you changed/fixed/bought/reorganised in your house that has made you disproportionately happy?

I want the really mundane ones. The things nobody is putting on Grand Designs but which have genuinely made your day-to-day life better.

Basically, tell me what else I should be wandering around my house looking for 😂

Bought this dress for a New Year’s party.
What footwear would look good with this dress?

No sandals or high heels

https://www2.hm.com/en_gb/productpage.1325245001.html

It’s my 50th birthday next month and I would
like to treat myself to this new coat. I’d love to hear from anyone who has one before I take the (very costly) plunge! I’m more of a second hand clothes person so this is a big thing for me😂
I’m 5ft 2 and around a size 8/10 and am mostly to found in t-shirts, jeans and smarties trainers. I also go for dark colours out of practicality but I love the tan and I have red hair so hoping it will suit me?
Is it worth it? Will the tan cost me loads in dry cleaning?? I’ve promised myself not to wear it walking the dog but just on a daily going to the office, shopping, social, general life basis
Thanks for your thoughts! www.hobbs.com/product/skylar-trench-coat/0125-3920-9057L00-TAN.html

I just wanted someone to shed some light on FWB situations. So, I’ve met this guy 3 times now just for sex, nothing more. But literally we just meet for sex, there’s texting up until and around the actual meet mainly just trying to find when we’re both free, who’s hosting etc. then we meet for sex then nothing. No text after, no casual conversation in between nothing at all. Then in about 2/3 weeks I’ll get a “when are you next free” text
I have to clarify I’ve never done this before I’ve always had relationships which is obviously completely different and I aware that I shouldn’t expect much more than casual sex which is fine. But, literally just sex and no actual chatting or hanging out in between is making me feel a little used. I’m unsure how to feel do I just accept this for what it is, what’s everyone’s experiences on similar situations? Am I just expecting too much for something that’s supposed to be casual?

My nephew is 24 and has been working full time for about a year after finishing university. When he first started working full time, my sister was charging him £500 per month to live with her and her partner. She has now told him he needs to pay £800 per month which he isn’t happy about as he is trying to save for a house deposit as well as having other costs and wanting to socialise. He spends a lot of time at work or with his girlfriend and friends so I do think £800 is a lot.

Our children are similar ages and my nephew has asked if he could live with us, paying £400 per month. We are happy for him to live here but it is causing a huge problem with my sister and her partner. They don’t think we should allow him to stay with us.

On the one hand I can see why my sister thinks we shouldn’t get involved, but on the other, he’s our nephew and an adult and if we’re happy for him to live here, he should be able to.

My sister has accused us of trying to make money from him which is untrue as we don’t charge our own children anything to live here and IF we take anything from our nephew, it won’t be £400 per month. This isn’t about money for us. I agree with my nephew that £800 is too much and want him to be able to have a life and save like my own children.

AIBU to say he can live here?

I went to an auction at the weekend and I ended up buying a fur coat. AI tells me its mink. Its long & glossy & brown. From the look of the lining its very vintage.

I'm not vegan or vegetarian even, and I while am very happy that the UK banned fur farming I don't have any issue with wearing vintage fur - in fact I see it as honouring the poor dead wee mink.

What would happen to these old coats if they aren't worn or enjoyed? they would end up in landfill. Fake fur are a plastic environmental nightmare (though I did buy a 2nd hand vintage fake fur last winter - maybe it was a gateway fur.)

So I don't have a problem with vintage fur.

I don't know if I would wear it out. But I struggle to keep warm while WFH in the winter so I may well wear it as my WFH warming coat.

What's your take on vintage fur? Would you?

Was grimly cheered to see this article on the Guardian this morning as within my social circle this does seem to be increasing and no one is talking about it.

I include myself in that number as I took a career break last Summer and am still not working, looking after my Mum and Dad as well as doing normal Mum of primary aged kid things for my DD. For me it was definitely the combo of kids and parents that meant I was about to have a breakdown.

But within my social circle I know of one other good friend who is also only able to do the most meagre bank shifts as she has three kids and a Mum that needs lots of support. Another friend both her and her partner are working very part time due to their autistic daughter.

For me, it was the ‘right decision’ in the sense I’m not struggling as much mentally. But it’s awful in terms of my pension, independence, long term career prospects. Social care is utterly broken in my opinion.

I was just wondering if there are other Mumsnetters out there who are in this position?