Here is my Friday night rant as a mum of twins teenagers who still gets asked if they are identical when the girl/boy twins are standing right in front of them, looking not one bit alike let alone identical. Plus they’re different sexes!

typical conversation-
“oh you have twins, what are they?”
”a boy and a girl”
“lovely, are they identical?”
”no they’re a boy and a girl”
”yeah but are they identical?”

🙄🙄

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My mum and dad divorced when me and my brother were 12 and 10. My father went on to have 2 daughters with a woman he married a few years later. We didn’t see that much of our dad after that, just some weekends and a week in summer. As an adult I’ve seen him about 4 times a year.

He got divorced from his wife and apparently seen his other daughters about as much as he saw me. I’ve had no contact with his other daughters since I was about 35. No fallout, just nothing in common and a father who wasn’t exactly family focused.

My dad died recently. In his will he has left almost everything to me and my brother with only a small amount to his other daughters. I have no idea why as when I did see him, we never really spoke about them very much. His daughters have asked me and my brother if we will share our inheritance with them. We have said no, they’re basically strangers. I’m presuming there must have been some trouble between them and my father for him not to leave them anything. They are threatening ‘legal action’. We have had legal advice and the will is fine so they have no case.

We aren’t sharing but I’m curious as to what others would do or think of this situation. Do you think we are being unreasonable? I can’t imagine not leaving my estate equally to my children but who knows what was going on his mind or relationships. If my brother hadn’t been left the same as me, I’d have shared with him.

I'm quite good friends with one of my exes from a long long time ago, we see each other three or four times a year and chat in between. We have never talked about the brief six month relationship that ended when we realised that we were good friends but not partners.

Apologies for TMI but my friend asked me doesn't it feel weird meeting up with Tom when you've shagged him and done allsorts in the past?

I've not thought like that. Does anyone else?

I am in hospital after major (planned surgery). DD1 age 25 will be looking after me (she lives at home for a small rent that cover everything). She has had to take some time off work (unpaid).
I am fiercely independent and have brought in my own squash/snacks etc. The 2 other people in my room have had visitors all day bringing lovely fresh fruit/sweets/drinks etc. DD1 visited this evening bringing my stepmother (very close ben in my life since I was 14. Father died few years ago)
They came empty handed. There is a lovely M+S in the concourse of the hospital they would have walked past it when they came in. But hey ho. Except DD1 started on my bag of snacks eating 2 without even asking. So I very sarcastically told them off and said not only did you not bring me even a M+S fruit snack you're now eating the snacks I bought in. Im pretty immobile.
They then said oh do you want us to go get you something. I said well it really defeats the purposes if you have to be told. And it would have been almost closed.
AIBU to be hurt and disappointed and a spoilt brat
IANBU they should have brought something.
DD1 is usually pretty good but can be a bit self absorbed and they are very used to me being super capable and doing everything. I am now a bit worried what her "looking after" is going to look like....

My cousin has recently brought her tiny premature baby home after a stay in NICU. She weighs less than 5lbs.
She sent me a photo of the baby asleep on her tummy in her Moses basket and said that this is the position she settles best in.
I have to admit I’m quite concerned. I know babies shouldn’t generally be put down to sleep on their fronts, and with her being so premature and tiny, it makes me particularly nervous.
My cousin also doesn’t want to use a breathing or movement monitor such as an Owlet, which adds to my worry, although I appreciate these aren’t recommended as a substitute for safe sleeping practices.

Obviously, I’m not her baby’s parent and I don’t want to come across as judgemental or interfere with how she’s looking after her. I also don’t know whether the NICU team has given her any specific advice regarding sleeping positions.

Would you be concerned in this situation? Would you say something to her, or leave it alone because it’s not your baby?
I just want the little one to be safe, but I also don’t want to overstep the mark.

we are going to spend a week in different hotels on our holiday, and I don’t know if I am being over anxious. Does anyone take any extra security measures to prevent people accessing their room overnight?

Three weeks in, we've reached Thread Two and so far, mostly agreed to disagree on all things baking and non baking related including:

Diversity casting
Throuples
Nigella's Big Bites
A clutch of dead nans and a couple of live ones
Several dead pets
And...the first ever - maybe last ever?- Audience Choice week.

Join us to sail through the rest of the series on a soothing cloud of icing sugar, hoping for cosy Tuesday nights curled up on the sofa with a packet of (not just an old people thing) biscuits and the ever dwindling ranks of (maybe) Britain's Best Amateur Bakers.

DD has fairly appalling handwriting. Her school didn't think it was a problem for GCSES and tbf, DD did very well in her exams regardless, so that's okay...but after looking at an old essay where she couldn't read her own writing 😂 she's asked the school if she can use a laptop for A-level essays/exams, and they've agreed.

She's academic, thinking about Oxbridge etc, but I think that there will be times in the future where she's still required to handwrite. I don't think laptop use is allowed - either for entrance exams (if she does them), or exams once there, if she gets in. So I'm wondering if there might be a way to keep her handwriting ticking over a bit in the meantime, or ideally even improve it?! Any ideas?

I feel like I’m losing my mind.

My 3 year old DD has always been a fantastic sleeper. Could guarantee 7pm-7am unless unwell since 8 weeks old. Since she was 18 months old, we could have a cuddle and a little book then at that time into cot and lights off, say goodnight and she’d be asleep within 5 minutes of putting her down. She now won’t sleep without one of us laying with her cuddling her which can take up to an hour.

For the past 3 weeks, she’s been getting up anytime between 11-3 and getting in with us. We live in a 2 bed, DS who is 1 sleeps in a cot next to my side of the bed, not a large bedroom so is pushed up to the wall then the bed is pushed up to the cot. DH or I end up going and getting into her bed or one of us will just go to sleep on the sofa in living room so we don’t have to be disturbed as she just climbs in and goes to sleep.

DD says she is scared of monsters and the dark. She chose a nightlight that we leave on for her, we’ve gone over and over that monsters aren’t real, we’ve read books on it, we monitor what she watches on TV.

The problem is, DS will make one single noise at around 4:30 in his sleep sometimes when sleepily searching for his dummy then he’ll go back to sleep but then DD is awake and will then proceed to talk loudly, no matter how many times I tell her to whisper not to wake her brother, she’ll keep asking if we can get up, in the end it disturbs DS and I give up and get up with both of them. As a result, she’s grumpy by 10am, her behaviour gets hard to deal with as she’s tired, DS is struggling to stay awake come 5pm at dinner time even after a 2 hour nap and I’m shattered constantly. She struggles with her Mon-Weds at pre school because she’s so tired, she’s become tearful, shouty, not doing as she’s told.

How do I get her sleeping in her bed again? Any tips/tricks?

Then there is the eating, we are down to about 8 things she’ll eat at home, plain pasta, jacket potato and beans, fish fingers corn on the cob smiley faces, sausages and mash, omelette (sometimes). The only fruit she’ll eat is an apple or a banana and she’s tempremental about that. Any veg aside from corn on the cob is an absolute no go. She won’t even try anything, she won’t eat meat other than a few nibbles of a sausage. Breakfast is limited to dry cereal, toast and jam or a croissant. Lunch consists of breadsticks, cheese strings and yoghurts. At nursery she tries more but doesn’t eat a lot. She won’t even eat a sandwich. I’m at my wits end with it. I give her a multivitamin every day but I’m so worried about it and she’s been like it for around 14/15 months now.

We eat normal, home cooked meals, bolognese sauce we do from scratch with blended hidden veg in (courgette, pepper, carrots), same with chilli con carne sauce, we have roasts, we have veg with every dinner, DD sees us eat lots of fruit like kiwis, strawberries, melon etc as well as different veg. She was weaned on all of this, fruit and veg and home cooked meals, just like DS eats but she won’t even entertain it now.

What do I do? She’s not underweight but if she lost any then she would be, she eats like a little bird and it worries the life out of me. Do I take her to drs at this point?!

If you leave it cool for 30 seconds and then put the butter on it tastes better cos the butter doesn't melt and you can actually taste the butter!
It's probably healthier as well cos you need less butter.
Mind blown!

YABU - Toast with melted butter is yummy

YANBU - OMG : Get OP a knighthood for services to toast

There are several atrocities happening in the world that could be described as genocides. Sudan, DCR, Rohingya in Myanmar, Yazidi in Iraq,

why has the Gaza / Palestinian cause motivated young people in the west more than any of the above ?

if you are a protester, how do to decide which cause to protest about ? If your children are protesting, why do you think they chose this one ?

I’m 54 and was not politically active when I was younger. I’m seeing the protests in France and elsewhere and wondering why Gaza so much part of the protests?

You wouldn't know it, if you got your news from the BBC, that there's been a pro-pal march through London today. 6 marchers were arrested and the Battle of Britain memorial was damaged.
Nothing on the BBC website. Nothing on News at 10.
Is it only me that finds this disturbing?

Mine is: nothing is allowed to be stored in the loft. Nothing. Not even Christmas decorations or suitcases.

I get the feeling that if just one thing is allowed to live in the attic, then all sorts of crap will be ‘stored’ there until we die.

Personally I don’t think it’s odd at all, but my DH thinks it’s utterly bananas.

Anyone else?

AIBU to think that scooters and bicycles on pavements is out of control and it’s time there were laws to protects pedestrians

Genuine question, just curious if anyone else has noticed this.

DH is very conventionally attractive. His two sisters are also very pretty and both modelled when they were younger. DH has been scouted too but wasn’t interested.

His parents are lovely people, but neither is what you’d call conventionally attractive. Even looking at photos of them when they were younger, you wouldn’t say either was particularly good looking.

I know genetics is a lottery but it seems quite remarkable that all three children turned out good looking. They’re all genetically related. Has anyone else come across this?

Last night I went for dinner with my husband, 11 month old and a few friends. One of our friends lives abroad and doesn’t come back to our hometown often, and he invited us out with a couple other friends to catch up and enjoy a nice evening together.

The meal was booked for 7pm and for different reasons we didn’t have anybody who could look after our baby. It has been several months since we went out for dinner with our daughter, as now she is 11 months old she is much more routined and harder to keep entertained whilst out! But we didn’t want to miss seeing our friend and thought one night isn’t going to harm anybody, we still need to have a life too!

We were seated in a smaller seating area, with a high chair and plenty of room for a pram. The restaurant was quite small and quaint but they were absolutely lovely. Just after we sat down, a couple were sat down near us. It was just our table of 5 + baby and those 2 sat in this area.

We brought toys for our daughter and hoped that once it was around bedtime we could get her to sleep in the pram. She hardly cried, and she just occasionally made some loud noises (like 11 month olds do). We did not let her run or crawl around and she was always either in her high chair or in our arms or the pram. We spent a good portion of the night trying to get her to sleep (with great difficulty) and had to do a bit of pram rocking and breastfeeding and taking her out and putting her back etc and naturally at times she got a little fussy but she was generally really good and didn’t make much noise.

When trying to get her to sleep I rocked her in the pram and me and my husband were putting a great effort into keeping her calm and trying to get her to sleep. The entire time, the couple kept looking at me (the man turning around every few minutes) and the woman staring at me the whole time. They were quite obviously talking about us and the baby and were seemed really annoyed that my daughter was there. I didn’t say anything as I didn’t want to make an already awkward situation more awkward, especially as we were having a nice evening with our friends. At one point I overheard them complaining to the staff and it made me feel so uncomfortable and to be honest really upset. When they eventually left I did share with my table and they all said I should have said something, but it has left me feeling really sad and like I have done something wrong by bringing her out?

This is the first time in a long time we have gone out with her in the evening and to be honest it has really put me off taking her out again. I would have taken her for a walk in the pram rather than rocking it in the area but we were actually seated upstairs and had to carry the pram up and down the stairs.

AIBU for taking my daughter? I don’t think I would normally care but as it’s been such a long time since we have done anything with her in the evening it has really knocked my confidence.

Long story short, or at least I will try to aim for it. I was in a relationship, almost a year when my ex boyfriend got busted that he had had another woman pretty much the whole time while we were exclusively together. There were signs a few times but I had left it there, until there were more and more signs and I decided to reach out to the woman who admitted the affair between them, and it was happening pretty much the whole time during our relationship. Obviously, we then broke up, but after a while he started to reach out to me again and was really committed to prove me that “I am his only one” so we kind of reconnected. Yes, I know how stupid I am, but I gave it a go. Since then, we had some ups and downs, but we have been seeing each other for a little while now. I know that these two have been in touch and messaging sometimes, but as per my ex says, nothing romantic. I have a gut feeling that there is more to this, and I told him that I would reach out to the woman again to find out the truth. He seemed quite panicky and said things that didn’t exactly feel very nice, almost like he wants to suddenly end things with me. I know it may make me look stupid, but I am really leaning towards reaching out to her to find the truth out. I have a feeling that he is keeping both of us, and he is worried that if I reached out to her, he would end things with him as well.
I am pretty much alone in this, please help me! What would you do?

I'm on maternity leave and have been using Mumsnet since the beginning of my leave.
I have been quite shocked at the way that women speak to one another on this platform. For context I'm 38 and was dragged up by older brother so throughout my life have often been quite blokey for want of a better word. In my 20's and 30's due to my work I have worked with people often quite a lot younger than me, and the best thing I have learnt from the younger women is non judgement and to raise each other up! It's been wonderful. I'm so thankful that my line of work enables me to be able to learn from younger generations ( I'm not suggesting they don't have faults, they can also be overtly judgemental, but when it comes to this one topic I find them great) their bringing up of women is truly fab!
So I guess it's
Yanbu- women on Mumsnet seem to appear quite harsh/ haven't learnt to raise each other up yet!
Aibu- women on Mumsnet feel they are in a safe space so say exactly how they feel no matter if it seems harsh or not.

New thread. Welcome back everyone. It's taken a while to get through the last due to how busy the advent threads have been.

All the holiday releases are coming out now and Black Friday is looming. So take a seat and buckle up. 😊

My daughter is having her civil ceremony on Easter Sunday in London next year. I've bought this Roksanda Maite dress to wear but I'm not sure about accessories with it being such a dramatic dress.
Will I need a coat? I definitely want a hat but what type? I do favour a large hat!
I'm a size 12/14 depending on the cut/ style. Budget is quite flexible.

Just spent twenty minutes trying to find a tiny piano keyboard toy for my kids for their stockings this year. I had one when I was little and I LOVED it! It was probably only about four of five inches big and came with a little song book. Has anyone seen these or do they just not exist any more?

Are there any other retro toys we all fondly remember but can no longer get?

I grew fond of a teal tshirt over the summer and realised this was a colour that suited me. Trying to find a jumper in the same colour. Size 12. This is the tshirt!

Any tips on how I can do my best to
msintail these kind of belt loops on my coat?

I’ve always liked wearing dresses in Autumn/Winter. Just for everyday wear with thick tights and boots but a couple of years ago the ones I had were getting tatty so I got rid thinking I’d get some new ones. I really haven’t been able to find anything I like since. I’ve got a couple of knitted ones but they tend to be a bit warm when inside all day. I’d really like some jersey type fabric, knee length or higher that are just easy to chuck on but still look reasonably put together.

I think they’re just not in fashion at the moment but has anyone seen any that fit the bill? I feel like I’ve trawled around everywhere and they’re either going out dresses or big thick woolly ones or just impractical (like sleeveless but knitted)

I’m fed up of having to choose two things to wear. Help!