Hi
Looking at replacing our mattress. I've done some research but it's quite confusing! I'd love some real experience reviews of some of the brands I'm considering.

Has anyone enjoyed/not enjoyed the following:
Otty, Simba or Nectar? If so, which model (if you remember) did you go for?

I'm particularly interested in motion isolation, heat and comfort. I'm a side sleeper and so is husband.

Very grateful in advance 😊

I’m looking after a 6 yo cockerpoo (male) for a relative who has gone into respite care for a couple of weeks to recover from a fall. DDog has not been well trained, is quite nervous and obviously stressed at the change. We’ve been quiet around him, letting him coming to us. He seems happy enough when left alone (was well behaved in the kitchen last night) - no destructive behaviours observed overnight or yesterday. He was pleased to see me this morning and happily ran around our garden for a few minutes then came in when called.

However, he’s prone to biting and has already caught my thumb, drawing blood.
We have no DCs in the house. I’m retired and my DH is WFH so we are around to keep him under full supervision. We have builders in atm and he’ll be kept away from them. I would appreciate some tips on how to stop him snapping and growling. Never experienced this in all the dogs I’ve had previously and have to admit that the bite last night has unnerved me.

12 replies

I've just gone down a rabbit hole thanks to a book I'm reading and found this. It's a lovely little flat in a great location and for the time, a brilliant price. But would I want to live there? I don't know. I'm not given to woo and I'm quite level-headed but I'm not sure I'd fancy it tbh.

Would you live in a house that had a dark history? Particularly if you could get it for a knock down price?

90 replies

…… so saved thousands of pounds & on holiday at holiday village turkey & the weather is appalling, I may be being precious but I’m so so sad, nothing much to do with two teenagers & it’s not meant to be any better all week, saves hard for this holiday & feeling super sad :(

106 replies
Aperolling28
AIBU?

Recently I bumped into a guy I had dated 20 years ago and not seen since as I moved abroad. I'm married which he is aware of. We had a coffee and he proceeded to go down the route of trying to instigate some sort of casual sex relationship which I declined. When I asked him what prompted this he came out with a whole story about how he'd met a girl 6 years ago, they had been dating casually for a few months when she became pregnant. They ended up buying a house together 9 months later and moving in just as the baby came. 1 year later she had sex with him on his birthday and became pregnant with baby number 2. I rolled my eyes at this point and thought a likely story. Anyway he said that they never touch each other, don't have sex, he feels stuck but he doesn't want a broken family and plans to get engaged soon. And I just thought is this what guys do when they settle? He wants to keep his happy home life and likes the stability, comfort, being like everyone else and wants to marry some poor woman who is oblivious to his endeavours to cheat on her, describes their relationship as being stuck?

80 replies

Not somewhere I usually look as we don't have a big Sainsbury's near here with a clothing section, just the little convenience stores.

Saw they had a sale on though and ordered a few things and I'm SO impressed. Ordered this dress https://tuclothing.sainsburys.co.uk/product/tuc148498351 which admittedly is not the most fashion forward item on the planet but I was looking for a comfortable dress for holidays and smart-casual occasions. It's such good quality - really thick, 100% cotton and has pockets! £7.80 absolute bargain. Also bought a grey cardigan/vest thing which is very thick and will keep me cosy in winter.

So did I just hit it lucky or is the general quality of TU better than Asda, Tesco etc?

193 replies

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My good friend is back from overseas for a week to see her family. She comes periodically. Her parents live close to me and this time she has brought her DD 16.
we arranged a while ago to spend the day together this week, I’m off work. We were looking at different things to do. With the weather we decided a nice lunch out in country and maybe a walk if dry. Then she tells me she is bringing her DD16.
I dotn know if this is just me but we all know we can’t say what we want or discuss what we want round our kids. I wouldn’t think of asking my kids (same age) on girls date.
is this just me or do other people find it strange ???
her DD hasn’t seen the grandparents for a while so wondering why she doesn’t want to spend time with them ?
maybe its me but it’s put a dampener on it.
AIBU ???

213 replies

I am going out this evening to buy food we can eat for three days without cooking. But what? So far I thought,
Tinned sardines
Bread for the freezer
Jam and marmite
Nuts
Wine

What else would you buy? Please don't talk about things you can cook, I just want things that need no cooking but we could live on for three days. Thanks.

148 replies

Previous threads
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5576816-aibu-to-think-my-friend-is-overdoing-emergency-stockpiling?page=1
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/5585259-crisis-what-crisis-is-my-friend-over-doing-the-stockpiling-and-am-i-too-continuation-thread-2?page=1

Continuation of the AIBU to think my friend is overdoing emergency stockpiling thread for discussion about the government advice to stockpile for an imminent emergency and what the heck that emergency might actually be.

Spoiler: it's more of a perfect storm of lots of factors coming together to potentially form one great clusterfuck from economic woes, global energy shortages (mainly diesel), potential food shortages, war and madmen to crazy weather patterns rather than a clear identifiable singular thread.
This is a practical thread and a bit of a handhold thread to make sense of events and how they may affect you. This is not an end of the world thread.

Remember an emergency can range from a temporary unexpected event to a much longer crisis but the underlying principles generally stay the same.

This is the official government information and advice, if you want further details on what the actual recommendations are:
https://prepare.campaign.gov.uk/get-prepared-for-emergencies/

ROUGH STATUS REPORT (as of 9am 22nd Oct - please note this isn't fully comprehensive, and is moving FAST)
Civil Unrest reported in:
France, Italy, Greece, Belgium, Albania, Indonesia - multi reasons, but largely due to economic pressures and the cost of living
Spain has had problems but these have temporarily stopped, probably due to significant weather related issues due to the Dana effect
More protests planned for this coming weekend
High Alert in the Middle East:
Netanyahu now committed to regime change in Iran, as he believes they are developing a nuke.
The US has pulled all Embassy Staff from Saudi Arabia and is hoping no one notices that they've ordered personal and families across the Gulf home and then seem to have lied that they have.
The Emir of Qatar has stated at their equivalent of the annual King's Speech at the Opening of Parliament that war was coming and to prepare for the worst scenarios. US pulling planes out of Qatar.
The Egyptian PM has warned the country of severe crisis ahead - given the nature of the country this is related to their alliance with Saudi Arabia and their reliance on the Suez Canal which the Yemeni rebels now control access to and their exposure to famine
Iran is saying if there is another attack, the gloves are off and they'll try and wipe out the middle east oil industry as they go down, as well as hitting critical civilian infrastructure.
Much movement / noise is similar to run up to the first US attacks this year. Debate over whether the attack will come before the Israeli Election or the US Midterms - possibly within 72hours - latest mood music suggests potentially this weekend. Seems to be shifting to a when not if.
Israel election: 27th Oct
Prices and Shortages:
Diesel needs no real reminder - we need it for haulage, mass transportation and farming, we are screwed without it. Fuel Emergency declarations in West Virgina, Kentucky, Michigan, Maryland, Arizona, Nebraska and Texas - typically allowing limited dyed diesel use for ag or commercial vehicles. Illinois and Missouri have also allowed by not under emergency orders. Less reported is the fertiliser shortage and knock on effect, poor yields this year and the effect of El Nino on next years, sulphur export bans and the blockade on Ukrainian and Russian wheat exports which are particularly crucial in feeding North Africa and the Middle East. This is liable to have significant impact on the UK with 6% rises in food already expected next year (and there's every reason to believe this will be higher especially with civil unrest all over the place). Reports of aviation fuel running low in some parts of Europe with emergency supplies (which can't last forever) being used.
El Nino:
See above about farming and also think of disasters - like the ones Spain is facing with flooding. Storm Austin is incoming and there is a weather warning for the South of England with power outages and flooding possible today/tomorrow.
The Internet:
PHP is 70% of the internet. Its got compromised so it can pretty much all be hacked. This is VERY BAD (in capital letters). Many websites offline whilst this is sorted including multiple government ones around the world.
Just AI generally - everything from putting everyone out of work to just hacking and killing us all. No Biggie.
Trump and the Mid Terms:
Trump is firmly losing his marbles. He's defected to Russia, can't stop rambling about men's arses, is waving at non-existent people, his team are known to be considering ways to impose martial law, he's getting heckled at Trump rallies by his own supporters, 83% of all voters think the biggest problem in the US now isn't the cost of living crisis but government corruption. He's being called a traitor by some of his fellow Reds. Mid Terms look a disaster and Trump probably won't accept them. He's reversing bills that Congress passed weeks ago by executive order.
Mid-Terms: 3rd Nov
Ukraine and Russia:
Ukraine facing massive problems still cos Elon has got the ump. Starlink isn't working at face enough speeds. They've bombed a shedload of Data Centres in Russia. This has killed off the Russian Internet and many Trump/Musk supporters in the process (one way or another) which screws up Twitter (and its value) for them. Ukraine is getting blamed for diesel shortages cos they refuse to stop hitting Russian refineries even though it has no choice now its been cut off by the US. Zelenskyy now says Trump isn't an ally. Trump wants Zelensky gone and thinks Putin is being reasonable and Ukraine doesn't want peace. Germany states it would have activated Art5 if the confirmed Russian sabotage attack on Liepzig had been successful.
Russia is apparently planning to step up its sabotage campaign in Europe after having successfully sunk a few boats in EU waters (Romania / Bulgaria - these sinkings have been in both international waters off the coast AND within their official territorial waters).
Economy:
Lots of debt. Much concern over the implications of this particularly with regards to AI and state debt in the US, UK, France and Japan (but not restricted to). Much money put into gold by China. Background of this bad given the approach of potentially multiple crisis.
France Moody's credit review: Due tomorrow 23rd Oct - expected to be not good especially in the current political climate in France
UK Budget: 28th October

They are all interconnected and one or many could tip us into abject chaos. Or not. The risks here are sky high. Of what? Take your pick.

543 replies

Pulled into Esso petrol station to top up. Man in car ahead had just finished and was walking into pay. I saw him briefly glance at me through windscreen. He is about my age, maybe a bit older. I am in my early 40s, able bodied, wearing my driving specs, not much to report.

I get out and start refuelling. As the man trots back to his car he says to me "I was gonna say, do you want me to do that for you?" (ie. refuel my car)

I look at him incredulously and say "No", give him a witch glare. He gets in car and goes.

I assume he is a misogynist who thinks that women can't operate a petrol pump? Fuming. I told DP and he thought the man was trying to chat me up. That is not any chat up line I've ever heard. Why would anyone say that ?

132 replies

I have a first date tonight with a man I’ve never met, we started talking online. He knows I’m very into cooking/baking, and just now while texting him I told him I made some protein pancakes. He asked if he could have some, I joked back that I would make him some, and because they’re protein pancakes they will make him strong. He replied “Strong so I can lift you in bed yeah 😏?”. I’ve never even met this man before. Now I feel that expectation and pressure for sex is there now and feel less excited about meeting him. It also feels very presumptuous of him, like he thinks because I’ve agreed to a date I’m up for sexual activity. I’ve not texted back yet because I’m not sure I want to go now.

For context; I have never made any sexual remarks towards him before or him to me, we have been talking for almost two weeks. I am conventionally attractive but I am not provocative in how I dress or how I present myself online. Most of my photos online are of my travel pictures, scenery and food etc. I don’t think I do anything to invite these remarks or give off the impression that I’d be into that so prematurely, but for some reason men will always try and initiate a conversation about sex before the first date. I’m getting tired of it. Am I overreacting?

574 replies

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My youngest son is 19, is ND. About 2 months ago he was sent a friend request on FB from a female who recognised him from college. He has been seeing her almost daily from when they first met up.

He has said he is head over heels in love and he is moving in with her. I know he’s 19 and many people leave home much sooner but he’s a very sweet and naive young man and I’m worried he will get hurt and it’s all so soon.

We have never met his gf (same age) as she is also ND and doesn’t ‘feel comfortable’ meeting new people. I am completely torn. I want him to be happy obviously but it’s so soon and we’ve never even met her.

His Dad is not happy at all about it and it’s causing friction in the home. I’m not sure if IABU to feel so uncomfortable and concerned about it all or simply accept that’s he’s an adult so he can therefore make his own choices.

225 replies

We’ve just landed in Florida for a week-long family holiday. There’s me, DH, DS13 and DS15. We spent a fortune before we came out getting everyone kitted out with new clothes and brand-new trainers—including a lovely pair of Nike Dunks for DS15.

We picked out his travel outfit together: hoodie, baggy joggers, and his box-fresh Dunks with classic white Nike socks. Looked great.

Fast forward to checking into the hotel last night. DS15 is sitting on the armchair, his joggers ride up, and I notice... no socks. (He spent all summer going sockless in old knackered Vans and Astro turf boots which I didn't mind because they were already ruined, but still!). Anyway, I went into their room later and it absolutely reeked. Turns out he wore his brand-new Dunks with no socks for the entire journey here! 🤢

This morning, before heading to the theme parks, we wanted a family photo. DH and DS13 look great in fresh shorts and new trainers with ankle socks. DS15? Sockless again.

I gently pointed out that:

  1. He’s going to get horrific blisters in the Florida heat.
  2. He’s going to completely ruin his new Dunks in days.
  3. The trainer smell is already vile.

He kicked off in front of everyone, telling me to "grow up," "get a life," and "what’s it got to do with me?!"

Later, I popped back to the room for suncream and thought I'd take him a pair of trainer socks just in case. Had a quick nosey in his suitcase... there are literally zero socks in his entire bag. He has actively planned and packed to go sockless for the whole week.

DH says to leave him to it, but we are the ones sharing a room and hire car with his melting, stinking feet! AIBU to be furious with his behaviour and choices!

254 replies

Those of you who have your main Christmas dinner on Christmas Eve rather than Christmas Day, come and tell me all about it!

I first saw someone mention doing this on Mumsnet a few years ago and remember thinking it sounded like such a lovely idea. Every year since, I’ve been a little more tempted, but I always end up talking myself out of it and doing the usual Christmas Day dinner. I think part of it is that nobody in my family has ever done it differently, so I’d be the first to break with tradition 😂

This year, though, I haven’t managed to talk myself out of it yet! The more I think about it, the more I really want to give it a go. I’m getting a bit fed up with spending Christmas Eve preparing everything, then spending such a big chunk of Christmas Day cooking it all.

I love the thought of getting the preparation done on the 23rd, then having a lovely sit-down Christmas dinner on Christmas Eve, with everyone excited and all the anticipation of Santa still to come. Then waking up on Christmas morning knowing there’s no big dinner to organise, and just being able to enjoy the presents and spend time with everyone.

But I’ve never done it before, so I’d love to hear how it actually works for other families. Have any of you tried it and then regretted it when Christmas Day arrived? Did you find yourself wishing you’d waited, or feeling like something was missing? Or did you love it and wonder why you hadn’t done it sooner?

And what do you have to eat on Christmas Day itself? I’d still want the food to feel special and Christmassy, so I’d love to hear what you do instead of the traditional dinner. Do you have a buffet, a lovely breakfast, something completely different?

Basically, please tell me about your Christmases and give me some ideas! I’m very tempted to finally do it this year, but would love a bit of inspiration from people who already do 😊

4 replies

Hi everyone,
I came across this thread and noticed that many of the behaviours described are very similar to what my son has been doing.
My son is 2 years old and has been showing the following behaviours:
● Side glancing, especially when walking past furniture, walls, and edges.
● Looking at objects from the corner of his eyes.
● Occasionally tilting his head while looking at things.
● Sometimes walking along edges or patterns while looking sideways.
● Speech delay.
He recently had an ADOS-2 assessment, and the psychologist concluded that he does not currently meet the criteria for autism.
I’ve tagged some of the mothers who shared similar experiences in this thread, and I really hope they see my message and reply. 🙏❤️
I would really appreciate hearing how your children are doing now.
Did these behaviours eventually disappear? At what age did they stop? Were your children diagnosed with autism, or did they turn out not to be autistic?
I’m especially hoping to hear from parents whose children had similar behaviours but were not diagnosed with autism.
Thank you so much! ❤️
@aaigogu @tinaaa24 @ritaisho88 @sophie993

This is intended as a friendly, kind, safe, warm and fuzzy place for people to share discounts, bargains and Christmas gift ideas both online and IRL. Please note the tone and intention of the thread and join with spirit as generous as DC helping themselves to the Christmas chocolate celebrations

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Will request this is deleted if someone more official beats me to it or if Reastie returns!

237 replies
13 replies

It’s becoming clear that there is a problem with people not being able to afford housing like they used to be able to. This has been made worse by the introduction of right to buy by Thatcher in the 80s which reduced the numbers of council houses. The price of housing is going up and up, so more people are having to rent on the private market.

So what happens to these people who are privately renting homes, when they get to retirement age? If they can’t afford their rent?

I was lucky enough to be able to buy my house. I have young children who, by the time they get to the age I was when I bought my house, will probably not be able to afford to buy like I was. There’s a very big chance they will have to rent, possibly for the rest of their lives.

People who rent on the private market are at the mercy of whatever rents the landlords want to charge for those properties. And with more properties being rent out as short-term lets this is only going to make the situation worse.

I worry that we are heading for a situation where elderly people will end up on the streets, because there won’t be enough affordable or social housing to supply them with housing if they become homeless in the event of them not being able to afford their private rent anymore.

As a parent, I just find the whole situation so depressing.

466 replies

Anyone have keratosis pilaris that seems to have got worse / shifted locations during or after menopause? I have had it since my early teens, it was on my face then, back in the 80s nobody really knew what it was from memory, I was told to stop picking or scratching it.

Have Irish and Scottish blood and was told just put up with it as people with Celtic origins tend to suffer from it.... not very helpful. But it disappeared from my face as I got older.

Then I had it on my arms until I started using Moroccan black soap and the hammam glove thing. But now it's on my abdomen, of all places, and I'm scratching it while I'm asleep from the look of it. The embarrassment! Good job I'm single.... Anyway, I'm coming up 58 and I would really love to get on top of this pain in the wotsit chicken skin.

Exfoliating acids? The Ordinary? Other brands? Didn't want to shell out until I got some hints and tips from you helpful people here.

9 replies

This situation happened completely organically I did not give it a moment’s thought I admit I didn’t think it through.

I have been with my partner for two years. He will move in with me next year.

His family seem very nice and when they have met my sons who are mid teens they have been polite.

Every few months his father invites us to a pub lunch and he pays. There is DP, a brother and a sister, and six grandchildren and they are joined by SiL and occasionally BiL.

Yesterday my sons were at home so we brought them, we gave it no thought whatsoever.

They shook hands and everyone was polite. It was a good meal with lots of laughter. DP’s father went to pay and left with his daughter and her children. We had a drink from the bar and went to leave. A young man ran after my eldest son with the bill for my sons’ meals.

I have never been so upset and embarrassed in my life.

I never thought consciously that I would get free meals for my sons but neither would I have not paid for two kids when I was out with my family.

Partner dropped us home and he and his son left. He said he would speak to his dad but I don’t want him to.

1000 replies

I will be wearing this dress on the weekend. I'm rather more curvy & lumpy than the model in the picture so whilst I love how it looks on, I can't just wear my normal knickers as it is very fitted around my hips/bum.

https://www.next.co.uk/style/su898288/v30812

I haven't bought any shapewear for years so no longer have anything that fits. I need to get something ideally from M&S, Next or Amazon (need it by Thursday) that helps shape my bum and tummy without mega VPL and allows me to go to the loo without too much hassle.

6 replies