My favourite household item. Is the blue Ikea bag. Laundry, toys, shopping etc.
Yes my life is that sad.

He will serve around Seven years . He will be ok inside because he will pay for protection. A lot of men on the internet think he’s been stitched up by the establishment. I hope this sentence makes Men think twice about their future actions .

Going to a fabulous 40th birthday party in Malaga in December! Stunning venue, no expense spared.

I have no idea what to wear! There’s no dress code, but it will be a fabulous event, so anything goes!

I’m 48, 5ft 3 and a curvy size 10 - help!! I’d love a dress that makes me feel great, but don’t know where to start. Happy with bold colours and equally happy with black. Any idea? Have you seen anything with the wow factor?

thank you!! 🤩

Keeping the conversation going because this is growing arms and legs. This is a follow on to the previous threads (Crunch Time, Docky Wock etc). I hope the contributors will come back to chat.

Tonight’s edition - she’s wearing a magnificent cream/ ivory shirt. Does anyone know where it’s from?

For background and content
Both me and Dh grew up in Abusive and neglectful homes. I spent Christmas growing up in a cold home without food nevermind gifts. While my mum got merry on drink and drug's.

Both me and dh have against the odds became successful in our own ways We are far from rich but definitely not struggling.

Anyway we have 3 dc that we love to spoil at Christmas especially but we spend far two much on presents for them. Last yrwe hit almost hit 3ish k

We decided that even though they aren't spoilt brats etc alot of gifts were still in boxes at Easter. Think lego unopened etc. So this year we asked them to write a list with a ballpark budget wise.

We are also going away right after Xmas to a lovely cottage in the Highlands.

They have plenty i know that but I have already started to buy extra for them

We wanted this year to be different but already ive failed in November.

btw I know how lucky we are. That is something I will never forget or take for granted.

I have some new neighbours who are moving into the house in stages. Where i live parking is limited - each house has space for 1 or 2 cars on the drive but that's it really - there's limited space on the road itself without blocking in other cars.

Twice now the new neighbours have parked their car or van that fully blocks my drive so I can't get my car out.

I've asked politely not to block my drive but each time they have responded angrily saying they have to park there for convenience. I explained they could have asked me first to park there out of courtesy, and I would have agreed, but just blocking my drive without asking was unacceptable. Even after me asking them the first time not to block my drive without asking, they did it again later. On both occasions when I spoke to them they responded in disprectful and hostile manner. They thought they had the right to block my drive since they were moving in..

I'd never dream of blocking anyone's driveway and just don't understand the mentality of these people.

A previous neighbour regularly had visitors who'd block my driveway and I had to go round and ask them to move their car which was usually met with annoyance.

AIBU to expect people not to block my driveway under any circumstance? Why do people think its ok to block someone's drive?

This has really upset me, I live alone with my young daughter and don't want to be having issues with the neighbours.

Thank you..

my eldest daughter has really annoyed me today 🙄

she has been having a go at me about how i raise the younger ones, apparently they need more routine and apparently im too soft with them??

she has got children herself so now she thinks shes some sort of parenting expert lol

i have raised my children and i know what im doing. im not saying im perfect because nobody is but they are fed, clothed, loved and looked after so what exactly is the problem??

what annoys me most is she seems to forget who was there when she had her first child. who was up with her, who helped her, who dropped everything when she needed somebody and who was there when she didnt know what she was doing 🤷‍♀️

i certainly wasnt standing over her criticising every little thing she did.

now shes got a few years of being a mum under her belt she thinks she can lecture me about my own household. she was happy enough to come running to me when she needed help but apparently everything i do is wrong now 🙄

ive told her if she doesnt like how i do things then she can stay at her own house. i dont go round telling her how to raise hers so why does she think she can tell me how to raise mine??

at the end of the day im still their mum and i know my own children better than anybody else does.

AIBU to think your grown children shouldnt constantly criticise your parenting??

or am i just expected to sit there and take it because shes my daughter??

Hi all. I'm just caretaking until Reastie returns, but here's our new thread. Please do use up the old one first though.

This is intended as a friendly, kind, safe, warm and fuzzy place for people to share discounts, bargains and Christmas gift ideas both online and IRL. Please note the tone and intention of the thread and join with spirit as generous as DC helping themselves to the Christmas chocolate celebrations

Here’s some useful information about how to save the thread or a specific post so you don’t need to have a message to check in for every thread so you have the thread saved:

To watch the thread - click on the little bell that has ‘watch’ under my first message. This adds the whole thread to your ‘watched threads’

You can also bookmark a specific post by clicking on the ‘bookmark’ under the specific post. This saves your exact place in a thread but doesn’t alert you to new replies.

If you have any referral links or codes, please share them on the referral thread here:

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/christmas/5444936-bargain-referrals-thread-8

A reminder that we don't use affiliated links on here please

🎄 Emoji to copy if required for posting bargains as some agree this makes deals easier to spot. (or post in bold)

Just reading the live sentencing of Russell Brand and this is what his defence barrister, Ian Wilson KC has come out with, presumably in a hand-wringing attempt to lessen the sentence.

Ian Winter KC told Southwark Crown Court that Russell Brand's rape and sexual assault convictions have caused 'total devastation' to his wife Laura Gallacher – but she is 'standing by him'. He said "they have been 'wrestling with how to explain' to their ten-year-old child what has happened to their father. 🤔

Mr Winter said: 'I'm afraid words are completely inadequate to truly try to convey to your Lordship the total devastation she's experiencing.

'Currently (they) are wrestling with how to exactly explain to a child who's just turned ten what has happened here. It brings home the consequences of this conduct to totally innocent people who have been caught up in it.'

WTF??? Surely the only non-innocent person is Brand. The "innocent people caught up in this" are his victims first and foremost. And as for "what has happened to their father" ???? Well, justice came knocking that's what happened!

I have no idea how to complain about a barrister's conduct but I really want to. This is just appalling.

My ds15 has autism, adhd and a learning disability hes in a sen school and lately keeps making up horrific things about trying to kill himself and self harming.

The thing is the ways hes saying hes doing things isn't true. The school do not believe him either as its just not possible the way hes describing. He also says cat scratches which i know is a cat scratch is him self harming himself.

Is this normal in asd teens? He keeps doing things like this and it comes out of nowhere. School have trained staff and said they do not believe for a second thats it true
He has a good life, good friends, hobbies etc were all baffled why he is lying.

Daughter wanted to invite a few friends to celebrate her 6th birthday last weekend. She gave us a few names so we invited them, one of the girl which she claims is her best friend, this child's mum confirmed that they would come. They did not show up nor had the courtesy to inform us that they were not able to come on the day. We were a bit shocked and dissappointed with such behaviour considering that our daughter sometimes talks about her day ie: playing with this child at school. But I am just here to rant how I feel and wondering if other mum had the same experience, considering that you do bump into each other since school days are Mondays to Fridays. It just rather awkward moving forward. 😥 Am i bring unreasonable to expect a Whatsapp message to inform that they were not coming?

So with everything in the news recently about Russell Brand and the awful sexual assaults he had perpetrated- and event in my own sexual history (from about 15 years ago - way predating my husband and I dating - in which a consensual encounter had turned sort of non consensual as the man had anal sex with me after I said no - it has played on my mind a little since but I never told a single soul until I bought it up with my husband last night as obviously with the cases in the news it has been triggering

He was absolutely horrified- not in a - poor you, are you ok, way but in a deeply angry, silent and furious way. He stopped eating his dinner and stared ahead at the tv silently. Made absolutely zero attempt to comfort me or be in any way reassuring and said he was too angry. He kept saying 'I dont know why you keep looking at me, what do you want me to say?' and eventually the tension got too much to bear and I just went to bed and we haven't spoken since

My head is reeling now - I dont know what i hoped to achieve in telling him but thought as the person supposedly closest to me i might be able to talk to him about it. Maybe that was mistaken and I should have kept it to myself or spoken to a friend.

My oldest son (27) has had the same girlfriend for 7 years. They live together, about 4 hours from us, which is very close to her family and likely where they will stay in the future. We are very close to my son, speak frequently, group chat almost every day, etc.

This is the first year that they are doing the alternating holidays. Thanksgiving (we are in US) at her family, Christmas at ours. She is smart, capable, well educated, high earning, and so many things that my son loves about her. She is very close to her mom and I have been regaled for years of stories from my son about how judgmental they are and that she and her mom spend all of their time judging people and making fun of people between themselves. She does not seem to want to develop a relationship with our family. She comes to visit a few times a year, we greet them happily, offer food, drink, regular visitor stuff. She is gracious, says no thank you and disappears to their bedroom mostly only to appear when they are going out. The few times she does sit with us after dinner or while sitting relaxing, she is texting the entire time. I have attempted to initiate conversation only to have her answer inquiries with one word or perhaps one sentence answers. Most of the time she doesn't even look up from her phone. My son and I had a conversation about this several months ago which went really well, I thought. I told him that we are happy that he has found someone he loves, but as his mother I am worried that he may marry someone that doesn't like his family. He said "what has she done that makes you think she doesn't like you?" My response was "nothing, but she certainly hasn't done anything to make us think she does". He said that was another way to look at things and he hadn't thought of it that way. I think he must have said something to her because for the first time ever she texted me unprompted and sent a photo of my son.

I am dreading Christmas. I know this is my problem but I am convinced that she will spend her time texting her mother listing all the ways I fail as a cook, decorator, house cleaner, etc. I get tired just thinking of topics to talk to her about.

Is it unreasonable to want to attempt to have a conversation with her about how I would like to get to know her better and maybe develop some sort of relationship?

Tomorrow is the last day to return. So please help me decide.

Semi detached neighbour has just started digging foundations for an extension. Foundations are more than 3 times deeper than our house foundations and within 5cm of our party wall. No party wall notice was served. After speaking to the builders, it also transpires that the extension is large enough to require planning permission, which the neighbours do not have.

We aren't opposed to the neighbours improving their home, but we want to make sure things are done safely and legally.

We would like a surveyor to check that the plans are structurally sound given our house's very shallow (less than 30cm) foundations and we would like to know what the plans are for their extension, as it might end up substantially overlooking our garden.

We would also like them to apply for the required planning permission before continuing their build as I understand an unpermitted structure next door can affect our ability to sell our house.

Are we being unreasonable?

Posting for advice as I am beyond frustrated. Mum is 72 and has had slight bleeding since Christmas. Had a vaginal ultrasound, scope and biopsy earlier this year. At this point they found nothing untoward other than a slight thickening of the womb. Should have prescribed oestrogen but she only got this 3 weeks ago. Been given antibiotics 5 times for UTI that were actually just blood in urine!
The bleeding started again in June and has become progressively worse. In the last week has progressed to flooding when moving. Through 3 large pads and into clothes. During one particularly distressing incident all over the bathroom floor. Looked like a murder scene. Rang GP who advised 999 who initially refused to come and when the finally came refused to take her in as after 5 and no capacity to scan.
Had a scan 2 days later, vaginal again. Bleeding so bad the couldn't actually see anything.
Booked in for an exploratory op on Thursday with the promise of 'doing what needs to be done' but no idea what this could be.

Everything I read online suggests that this is highly irregular and required A&E and treatment but hospital and GP very lacklustre response. She is now anemic and struggling to walk due to weakness from blood loss.

Is there anything else I should be pushing for?

I heard this on the radio this morning.

From the makers of the post office scandal.

It’s already on iplayer so I just watched it. I can’t believe what I have actually just watched.

And to top it I can’t believe the statements the agencies have written at the end.
Just lies. Our government and the associated agencies - just liars. Again and again!

How does this keep happening.

Why do we need a tv show to do the right thing.

It’s literally disgusting behaviour and I am so sick of it.

He has a stressful job but he essentially just wants to ‘ chill ‘ every weekend. We have 2 kids, 4 and 6.

he needs physical downtime. So he has a lie in on both days. Then he pretty much just hangs around, watching tv. He comes downstairs to moan and complain that he’s hungry and I haven’t cooked.

anyway that’s the general ‘ vibe ‘ of weekends. I often take the kids out for half of the day or so ( without him, as he never wants to come ). When he does come, he complains that he wants to go back home and what an effort it all is.

anyway, let’s not even get into how messy he is. He doesn’t tidy anything up really and he’s incapable of putting dirty laundry in the basket. The bedroom is a constant mess and his clothes are everywhere.

whenever I do pipe up, we end up arguing. I need to leave him alone etc etc. so I kind of just leave it now. Today I was sorting my own clothes and I started folding and trying to understand which of his needed washing. He said to leave him alone and why do I always have to do this at weekends ? I should do it all during the week while the kids are at school and he’s at work. Now going on to my work.

I used to work in a corporate role, but now I’m working for myself to give me more flexibility. I tend to work from a shared office space, and I’m not making lots of money yet. I’m slowly building my own thing. But I’m essentially out of the house every day working. I don’t come back until I’ve picked up my kids. That’s why I do washing and sorting at weekends. I used to do a lot of it during the week but I found it hard to work at the same time. I really struggle motivating myself and focusing and I would always just clean and sort the house out and not be on my lap top.

I now have this co working thing and it’s really helping and I’m starting to make small strides. Seeing as I’m not making lots of money yet, my DH doesn’t think it’s worth spending as much time and I should spend my time during the week at home doing his messy laundry.

this weekend has been particularly bad. He has just been mean to me all weekends it seems. He doesn’t like people coming over and I did say that my kids wanted a play date so we had some friends over and I offered to make dinner for them. My DH was really annoyed that it was so last minute for him etc and he was just in a bad mood all day. Shouting and complaining about it all. He thought it was outrageous to decide the night before to have people round for food the next evening. Apparently that’s extremely short notice ?

I did mention we were going to see our friends on Saturday but hadn’t given details. I texted him earlier in the week saying the kids kept asking for this meet up and is it ok with him etc. then the night before, I decided I was going to cook for everyone and that made him angry.

what do I do ? I’m fed up.

I’m going to a nice celebration dinner between Christmas and new year and I want a nice top to go with some black velvet wide leg trousers…

I’m large of bust so a lot of tops tend to hang from my boobs which is annoying. I don’t like anything too clingy around my stomach. Maybe a wrap top or A line? Anyone seen one in the shops and thought “that would go nicely with black trousers for a nice do”?? Would prefer not to spend too much (up to about £50)

I found out I’ve got gallstones, I need it out but I’ve been put on a waiting list. I’ve also just had a baby which can apparently trigger the attacks.

I had an attack 4 days ago, called 999. The worst pain I’ve ever been in, rolling around the floor at hospital. They refused to give me any more than paracetamol and I was just left to it. 6 hours later, it passed and I was told to go home.

I’m still thinking about it, and it’s annoyed me that more wasn’t done. Do you think I’m unreasonable to expect more? When the inevitable happens and I have another one, I already know my A&E will refuse to help and I want to advocate for myself better.

none of my kids need or want anything this year. They all have things like phones, laptops, gaming consoles etc and nothing needs upgrading. So not going to go mad as not going to spend for the sake of spending but would like to get them some bits to open!!

DS1 is 19. Was doing politics at uni but taking a year out for mental health. Been applying for jobs hut nothing yet. Has ASD and not social at all, barely leaves the house. Has a nintendo switch. Doesnt care about clothes etc and does no sport except occasionally going climbing with DH. Does like maps but feel like exhausted that over the years!

DD 18. Just gone to Uni so has all the stuff for that. Likes music but no gigs coming up she is bothered about. Is doing a creative degree. Likes sewing etc. could probably get her to send links to clothes etc

DS2 16 - loved paelontology but again exhausted that over the years. Doesnt play sport. Plays PC games. Not botheredby clothes either.

Just that really! 🥂

(for the record I’m not ultra left, would probably be a moderate Republican in the USA, but I cannot STAND the bully boys in MAGA and their hideous lack of accountability)

Delighted for the USA and it’s such a tonic to see everyone celebrating.

My ex sees our two children 8 and 10 every other Saturday 10am until 7pm. He lives around 1 hour away from us with his partner and her two teenage children. We have a court order for this which also includes one extra day per week of school holidays and alternate Christmas days. He has asked several times for occasional overnight stays and uk holidays for a weekend. This is not in the court order so I have said no. His partners house isn’t big enough for my two to have their own room so I refused overnight stays in court. He has said they could sleep in bunkbeds in one of the older children’s bed rooms and she would sleep with her sibling. I have also refused this as it’s not in the court order. My ex recently got engaged and I am waiting for them to ask me about our children attending his wedding. I don’t want them to go as I don’t know who will be looking after them but I know they will be disappointed. Am I in the wrong for not allowing them to attend or have holidays?

I've been with my boyfriend for two years, we don't live together, we are in our 40s. Three months ago he quit his job. He had been unhappy in the job for a while, so that was fair enough. He planned to get another job, but instead had the idea to start a business. The "business" that he settled on is 3D printing. I've mentioned a few times that surely this is more of a side hustle, not something that can replace a full time job, but he just told me that he's "sure it's going to work".

First he made dog models, some were OK, some were really tacky and never would have sold. I tried to tell him this politely but he said some people might disagree (they wouldn't have).

Then he abandoned that idea and came up with a new idea that he's been keeping a secret from me. Last night he finally showed me. It's 3D printed characters that kids can paint, and he plans to sell them for £10+, along with t shirts with kids names on them. There are so many issues with this. You can't sell licensed characters, and there's better, cheaper (official) stuff available at the supermarket. Also kids shouldn't wear shirts advertising their names!

Parents wouldn't buy this. I'm a mum so I would know. He doesn't have kids. I tried to say a few nice things, because I know he wants me to support him and he'll be disappointed if I don't. But I want to tell him it's a shit idea, and he's wasted months on.

Tbh I feel like I've lost respect for him. He cannot possibly be this lacking in intelligence to think this is a great idea. He hasn't done any market research, even on me and I'm a mum and right there. What am I supposed to say? Aibu?