HOUSEKEEPING :

Doing weekly threads as was agreed to at the start of the series by the majority. But this means for the first time this series we’ve got an unfinished thread. People are also posting still on the end of Week Two. Chat split over 3 threads isn’t great. If we could all move over to this thread and stick to it, that would be great

CHEERS

KEEP DANCING 💃

I'm off to Spain for a 5 nights with DC9 for half term. We've travelled abroad and in the UK before and I will admit I'm a little nervous despite being a single parent for going on 6 years now. Any useful tips for the trip would be welcome, as well as ideas on how I can make the most of my evening once DC has gone to sleep. I'll bring a good book and ipad but want to avoid the lonely feelings in the evening.

Can anyone relate? How have you made the most of holidays and being away as a single parent?

I went for drinks with my friend this afternoon. It was just a casual thing. Not to a posh bar or anything. I was wearing a coat I wear quite often. I have had compliments on the jacket before. I met with my friend and we were walking into the bar and she said “I love you but that jacket is awful”. AIBU to feel hurt and upset by this comment? We were already out so no chance for me to change the jacket so it just made me feel really insecure and embarrassed. I’ve been through a hard time lately and have pretty low self esteem which my friend is aware of. I made it clear the comment had hurt my feelings and my friend said I was over reacting and it’s ok for her not to like my jacket. Am I being overly sensitive or is it a bit cruel of her to tell me that at a time when I had no option to change what I was wearing?

Does anyone have any recommendations? Tried the brushed jersey barrel trousers from Uniqlo but they were a bit “worky”.. I want something with a flattering waist band not really bulky around the waist like jogging bottoms tend to be. Ideally in black or charcoal. Size 14.

If your dc were in hospital (an accident rather than an illness type situation?l) what specifically would you do to help out or offer assistance? If they told you they’d need quite a lengthy recovery period? As in, what as a parent would come naturally to you to do?

AIBU to think we could be sleepwalking into financial crisis?
Last night, over dinner with the ILs, we were talking about whether we should stock up gradually in case of climate disaster, some kind of infrastructure collapse, whatever. They are organised hoarders, so have a bit of a headstart! The convo moved on to what if the global banking system was hacked, and nobody could access money, for an indefinite period. Given that money is basically data, how would that work out? Should we stock up with cash, alongside our tinned tuna? Gold coins 💰? LOL. Would cash work where the banking system ceased to exist? Or should we all be growing veggies, raising chickens and harvesting rainwater? Im aware plenty of people in the 'developed world' exist like this, but how would 'the West' survive in a world without money? What would the fallout be like?

I moved to Somerset 7 years ago from Sussex for work. Im just not happy here. I retire in 2 years and want to be near my family in Sussex and my elderly parents.
I can just about afford the Hawkhurst, Bodiam, Robertbridge areas on the Kent/Sussex border. Has anyone lived there and is it a nice area? I prefer countryside to big towns.

Hello, I'm into my first week of using the HRT Femiseven Conti patch. After a shaky first 48 hours. it is going very well and I can already feel some small changes! I haven't touched any booze yet. I'm not a big drinker anyway but usually have a couple of drinks at the weekend, and I'm supposed to be going out tonight for cocktails.
Has using the patch changed anything booze wise for you, such as any effects you didn't have before or change in tolerance? I'm well over 50, so my tolerance is low anyway, but I don't want to risk any nasty side effects while I' m out.
Thanks!

We live in Canary wharf and are considering starting our DC in the nursery at Gatehouse School. We will need to use their bus service for drops/pick ups. But feeling a bit concerned about such a young child commuting at nursery/reception ages. Anybody else in CW sending their kids to Gatehouse? How long is the commute? How has your experience been?

Usually there would also be my sister and brother in law and their two young adult children, plus a family friend. My parents host. They're mid-late 70s but very few signs of age thus far, both fit and well both body and mind.

This year family friend is elsewhere, Sister and bro in law are away with niece, and nephew is probably working.

So just us three.

There's a backstory in that things are quite awkward with me and my Dad. We haven't ever got on well, he was abusive to me as a child. Things were still awful when I was a young adult but in my thirties and now forties I just try to be 'normal' with him.

Me and my Mum have a very good, close relationship however.

I am just envisioning it being a bit boring, a bit awkward, a bit odd this year. I am actually slightly surprised that my Mum is still bothering with the whole Christmas day shenanigan thing but she wants to. We don't usually exchange presents and it hasn't been decided whether we will this year. I also don't believe I've ever had any meal with them as an adult just the three of us, Christmas or otherwise!

I am going to take Jenga with me as I know we all enjoy that. If it was me, I'd find out if anyone else was alone for Christmas and invite them to make it a bit more of an occasion! But obviously I can't do that at my parents' house.

Can anyone think of anything else I could do to make the day a bit more festive, enjoyable, 'fun'?

I used to drink quite a lot when I was younger, but now that I'm in my early 30s, I'm trying to take better care of my health and lifestyle. I've stopped drinking alcohol, including wine and whiskey.

Drinking is a big part of the culture where I live, and social events, weddings and nights out often revolve around alcohol.

Some of my close friends are supportive, but others question why I don't drink anymore. I still go out and have non-alcoholic drinks, but I sometimes wonder if this will affect my friendships in the long run.

For those who stopped drinking, did your friends accept it as you got older, or did you lose friends because of it? Do people eventually stop caring about what you drink, or does it still affect your social life?

Hello, have name changed but have been around a while.

I work for a well know retailer, started in the summer. I will admit I am plus size; but I am having chronic hip and lower back pain. I asked for a chair to sit down on at my till at work and the manager told me I must get a doctors note in order for them to give me one.

I rang my doctor and he refused to give me a note, saying my employer needs to do a risk assessment on me and decide from that whether I need a chair.

My employer refused point blank to do this and are now threatening to take away my chair if I can't get a note. I really don't know who to believe, I feel stuck in the middle with this. I am really afraid I may lose my job over this.

Please help, should I ring the doctor back and try to speak to a different one to get a note? Or is the doctor right and my employer wrong?

Thank you for reading

Like the title says. Near identical black leather Chelsea boots. New ish account so I don’t think I can post pics?

• Camper: have tried on so know they fit, but haven’t bought camper for yeeeears so no idea of quality
• Birkenstock: have had a few pairs but they run big and don’t have half sizes so can’t go down, but can wear big socks.
• Blundstone: never worn so can’t speak to size or customer service (can I send back if they don’t fit) but like the ruggedness.

help me!

AIBU to be pleased that the UK consumer watchdog is investigation the ridiculous drop off fees at airports and the increases over the past few years. It’s just a con. Hope they get banned.

DD14 is due to go for allergy patch testing, it will look something like on the photo (may take a minute to load). She will go to the clinic Monday, Wednesday and Friday during the week of testing. In the time she can’t get her back wet (so no showers), no getting sweaty and to wear old / lose clothing and bra.

She is saying she can’t go to school without showering and wearing a soft bra (she is large chested) and it’s impossible to get on the school bus / walk to school without getting sweaty.

AIBU to keep her off for the week? School will almost certainly say I am.

I don't mind her - haven't made my mind up whether her daffy "silly me" persona is genuine or all an act, but anyway. Alex Scarsgard is gorgeous, but that film? Often I see films promoted enthusiastically on there and think hmm, not sure I'd bother going to see it, but Wicker? It looks bonkers. OK a sweet love story, but bonkers! Bonkers in a 'not worth my time' way. And then we find out that Olivia and her DH are producing it! The two leads seem so mismatched. Or is it just me?

I have done a big clear out of children's and my clothes, so have loads of good quality stuff that I'd like to go to charity. Trouble is, all of my local shops are very difficult about donations - you can only take a small amount, you can only donate on certain days (which seem to change constantly) etc.

Ideally I would like to just get rid in one go. The local clothes bins at the supermarket are allegedly for charity, but when you read the small print just seem to sell on and then donate a tiny per cent of profits.

I've found a few places online that will collect, but either they don't say what will happen to the clothes, or it turns out they are selling them abroad and then giving an undisclosed amount to charity which I imagine is very small.

BHF will only collect clothes along with furniture which I don't have. Are there any genuine charities which would collect? I found one called Triad but it's London only.

I am potentially getting a full time job. I wont lie I am really struggling emotionally with this as I have only worked 2 days a week since ds1 was born but life is expensive and my partner is keen for me to earn more now my mat leave from ds2 is due to end so we can save to buy a house.

I have been looking at holiday allowance, bank holidays etc to see how to optimise my time with the kids.

Has anyone used a large amount of their unpaid parental leave to take extra time off each year?

I am thinking of using 4 weeks a year to boost my holiday total and increase the amount of time I get with the kids.

Does anyone else do this? Do your employers mind? I figured with holiday allowance of 5 weeks and 4 weeks of unpaid parental leave I would be almost doubling the time I get off with the kids which might help alleviate some of the sadness I feel about leaving them.

Hi,
just posting on here for traffic.
I have a nearly 11 year old son who is due to go on his school residential tomorrow for 2 nights.
he has recently been diagnosed with separation anxiety, health anxiety, ptsd and ocd type worries. Without drip feeding, he was seriously ill when he was 7 and then lost his dad shortly after.
this makes it hard for him to be away from me, he still can’t sleep in his own room and even a night down my mums every once in a while causes him a great deal of stress.
we are under CAMHS and he is being referred to a psychologist.
my issue is, he is in two minds about going and it is actually making him ill. I know he will be fine during the day but it’ll be the night time. It’s 3 hours away so I wouldn’t be able to just collect him if he didn’t settle.
im at a loss at what to do, because I know if he doesn’t go he will be stressing all weekend about missing out but then I’m so worried he will make himself ill when he’s there as I don’t think he will settle at all. He was shaking just talking about it this morning and saying he felt like he was going to vomit.
any advice would be massively appreciated. I think this could be life changing for him if he goes but at the same time I know the intensity of his anxiety and I don’t want to make things worse.

thank you xx

I need help naming my daughter, we have two names which we love but i cant decide between the two. the options are Elsie or Penelope, for Elsie I worry that may be too common and overused and for Penelope I dont love it shortened to Pen or Penny, although I like "P" its driving me crazy that she still hasn't got a name. please help!!!

Have psoriatic psoriasis in my hands and arms. On biologics to treat it for 12 years.
Not sure what I'm looking for from this thread but I'm not even 40 and I'm struggling with basic tasks. If I didn't have my DD I'm not sure how I'd keep going. I want to cry thinking about how I'll be at 60. My mother died at 62 (had other complications but not psoriasis). Not sure ehay my aibu is but feel so helpless and defeated right now

DD has fairly appalling handwriting. Her school didn't think it was a problem for GCSES and tbf, DD did very well in her exams regardless, so that's okay...but after looking at an old essay where she couldn't read her own writing 😂 she's asked the school if she can use a laptop for A-level essays/exams, and they've agreed.

She's academic, thinking about Oxbridge etc, but I think that there will be times in the future where she's still required to handwrite. I don't think laptop use is allowed - either for entrance exams (if she does them), or exams once there, if she gets in. So I'm wondering if there might be a way to keep her handwriting ticking over a bit in the meantime, or ideally even improve it?! Any ideas?

We need a dehumidifier for after we've used the bathroom as we're currently renovating with a view to replacing the bathroom window next year. The radiator doesn't work too well and there's zero ventilation, house built in the 70s and a lot needs doing. I'm thinking after a bath I could run this to keep the black mould away. Bathroom is small.

https://www.tesco.com/shop/en-GB/products/325532946?sc_cmp=ppcGHS+-+Grocery+-+NewMPX_PMAX_All_OT_Marketplace+Clubcard+Offers_Marketplace+Budget_1013982**325532946*&gclsrc=aw.ds&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=22426659033&gbraid=0AAAAADiyNauKhBy4OjxFVpneL_eh54UuW&gclid=CjwKCAjwlY3WBhANEiwApsNrLQUZJKNqdUH1vEn-ty57aZC47LUEminx6pOH3KQNVU3ShiLa_TbFLhoChVsQAvD_BwE

I've been seeing my boyfriend for about eight lovely months and so far it's going really well. We get on amazingly, like the same things, have the same sense of humour and have lots of fun. He treats me so nicely.
But we just have totally different sleep styles. He likes to fall asleep with a lamp on, while listening to something, I need total darkness and quiet.
I've asked him nicely if we can have the light off and he's turned it off which I know he doesn't like, and I feel bad asking him not to watch something on his phone too since it's his house, so he doesn't know I hate it. He sleeps deeply and falls asleep quickly so usually I just lean over him and turn it off, or wait for it to end before I go to sleep.
He sometimes does this thing though where he wakes in the night, presses play on his phone and goes back to sleep, and then doesn't remember having done that.
Tonight, I wanted for his thing to finish, then just as I was drifting off, he presses play again and goes back to sleep. Then his bloody dog started moving about, clattering his paws on the laminate floor, chewing something and scratching. Every time it stopped, I would drift off and it would start again. Then bf turns his thing back on again seemingly in his sleep, then the dog jumps onto the bed, realises I'm there and there's no room, jumps back off again and goes back to chewing his toy and grunting. Then BF starts snoring. And I really wanted a window open for a bit of breeze.
It was almost midnight by this point, and I thought sod it. I was tired. We'd had the loveliest long hike with the dog today followed by a massive dinner and I just wanted sleep. I jumped back in my car and drove home and I can't tell you how nice it is to be back in my own familiar bed, in the dark and quiet., and all to myself.
I feel so bad as waking up together in the morning is so so nice and snuggly. He brings me tea in bed and we just cuddle and watch TV and he cooks me breakfast. I sent a text saying I was so sorry but I just couldn't sleep and I'd come straight back in the morning but it's not the same as waking up and having a lie in together.
Is it possible to get used to sharing a bed again after being so used to your own habits? And is my relationship doomed if I can't even sleep next to him?
And can I tell him to change everything he's used to and banish his dog who I love and has always slept there? Because I don't feel I can

I am aware that other cultures have different values and traditions, but should we really be tolerating this sort of behaviour in the UK?

https://www.dailymail.com/news/article-16199187/Exposed-British-imams-telling-men-beat-wives-say-NO-sex-police-ministers-failing-crack-them.html

Yet it seems that certain political parties are willing to turn a blind eye to this sort of thing so that they can secure votes from a certain section of the electorate who often vote as a family unit.

I really thought we had moved on from this sort of thing in the West, but disappointingly it seems I am sadly mistaken.