I'll keep it brief, my parents both died some time ago, and I can't get over this.

The estate was split with 20% going to me and 80% to my sister. She gets £160k I get £40k.

Both about the same age, both been a part of the family equally, she is wealthier than me by a large margin.

I want to cut all ties as she refuses to balance out the amounts, even a 60:40 split.

We're it the other way round I would be uncomfortable with the settlements and would rectify it, she won't.

AIBU?

Hi, I need to re vamp my wardrobe for autumn/winter and need some advice on how to incorporate a bit of 'edgy chic'. I'm early 40's, 5ft 2, size 14/16 and hour glass shape with big boobs and a bit of a mum tum. I have dark hair and olive skin, so tend to suit darker/autumn colours. I need a couple of staple bits, and some clothes I can also wear for work ( casual dress code). I already have some chunky boots and a grey leather jacket. I went shopping today in local town and it was totally uninspiring!

I had a nasty fall on ice last winter and broke my wrist. I’m determined to be extra cautious this year. Can anybody recommend any boots with really good grip? I really don’t care what they look like. I’m a size 4, so might even be able to get away with children’s so long as they’re not pink and girly.

Also, what about the things that slip over boots for more traction - any recs for those? I won’t need to walk miles in them, just up to the shops etc.

Under £100 ideally.

Hope I'm not tempting fate with that thread title
This is intended as a friendly, kind, safe, warm and fuzzy place for people to share discounts, bargains and Christmas gift ideas both online and IRL. Please note the tone and intention of the thread and join with spirit as generous as DC helping themselves to the Christmas chocolate celebrations .

Here’s some useful information about how to save the thread or a specific post so you don’t need to have a message to check in for every thread so you have the thread saved:

To watch the thread - click on the little bell that has ‘watch’ under my first message. This adds the whole thread to your ‘watched threads’

You can also bookmark a specific post by clicking on the ‘bookmark’ under the specific post. This saves your exact place in a thread but doesn’t alert you to new replies.

If you have any referral links or codes, please share them on the referral thread https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/christmas/5577375-bargain-referrals-thread

A reminder that we don't use affiliated links on here please (I think that's the term, let me know if I got that wrong).

If there’s anything you think would be useful or good to include in this post then please do tag me and let me know here (or DM me).

You are all wonderful and I’m now going back to my mince pie and stollen (never too early!).

We have a close friends wedding to attend in 6 weeks. It's been booked about 6 months in advance. We've prepaid for travel, hotels, childminding and bought traditional clothing for the event. I'm in the wedding party.

Just received an invite to my SILs wedding today (DHs sister) for the same date. In 6 weeks time.
Different part of the country.

Family are all saying we have to cancel the other wedding. We are going to be out hundreds of £.

AIBU to go to family wedding instead just to make my life easier? Everyone is angry at me for even considering not going to DHs sisters wedding. I feel terrible.

Sorry to mention Christmas in September!

For Christmas, family come to us on alternating years, so one year my mum, brother, sister and their partners and kids come to us and the following year my dad and his partner come to us. I have done this for my dad only, I do not like his partner.

It would have been my dads turn this year but he died in June. Since he died, I have not visited his partner but she has called and text me a few times asking for favours and money as my dad left most of his estate to me and my siblings.

Yesterday I spoke to my aunt who is my dads sister and she has told me that my dads partner is still expecting to be invited for Christmas. I will not be having her here and need a nice but firm way, if that’s possible, of telling her that.

How would you word it?

DH is working from home and I was doing the housework, I walked upstairs as a jet went over the house so it was really loud. We don’t live on a flight path so it was unusual. I went into his office and he literally jumped out of his skin and pressed the X to hide a teams message on screen. I asked about the jet just as another message popped up on teams from a woman called Joanna - he scrabbled to press the X again as fast as possible and was as red as a beetroot. The message said “yeah, it looked better in my head hahaha”.

His whole demeanour had changed and looked hugely guilty and caught out. I asked who he was messaging to which he said no one, i again asked who it was and he said a man from work - i told him i saw it was from a woman called Joanna. I asked why he was acting like this and looking so guilty and lying - he said it’s because he knew how I’d react. I am well aware he works in a mixed team and have never taken any issue to him having work conversations with other women so this is completely gas lighting on his part. I told him this was bull shit and to bring up the messages, he refused. I asked again and he locked his screen then picked up his mobile - he has teams on his phone so I am assuming he was deleting the messages. I asked if that’s what he was doing and he dug his heels in and shouted that there is nothing going on. I told him to prove it by showing the messages, he repeatedly refused and told me no as he didn’t feel he should have to prove himself, and then wouldn’t make eye contact with me.

if that was me and the conversation was innocent, I’d have brought up the messages and demanded an apology. Everything about him screamed red flag during that situation.

ive left the house and am currently in my car in a park, shaking and feeling sick. There surely can’t be any other explanation for his reaction and refusal to prove himself innocent?

we’ve never been in a situation like this, I’ve not had any cause to doubt him in the past. Been together for 15years.

What’s going with M & S women’s knitwear? Filtered my search on the website and there are no cotton jumpers or indeed wool. Cashmere and merino available but everything else is poly blends or supposedly wool rich with 6% wool! Menswear has a much greater range in natural fabrics. I loved the cotton cardigans they used to offer in a range of colours as I could buy smaller for a more fitted look but they have none at all. They also washed and tumble dried brilliantly without shrinking. (I know Mumsnet doesn’t usually approve of cardigans, but I love them).
Can anyone suggest affordable alternatives for jumpers and cardigans (up to around £50)?

Welcome to Thread 8 🥳

A huge thank you to @OvaHere, @JoRaRaRa and @Thelifeofawife, @solocat

for the previous threads, and to everyone who has been sharing spoilers, information. links, bargains, discount codes and enabling each other over the first 7 threads. ❤️

As agreed, we're taking it in turns to start each new thread this year. If this thread starts getting close to the reply limit, please post to let everyone know you're happy to start the next one so we can avoid duplicate threads.

🎅 A few festive housekeeping notes:

🎁 This thread contains spoilers.
🎄 Please be kind and respectful to one another.
💸 No judging anyone for their purchasing choices (or how many calendars they buy... we're all enablers here! 😂).
🎀 Feel free to share spoilers, offers, discount codes, GWPs, delivery updates and stock alerts.

🎁 Available Now:
Boots:
www.boots.com/christmas/advent-calendars/advent-calendar-waiting-list
Luxe £150
beauty-detective.com/boots-beauty-advent-calendar-2026/
Fragrance £90
beauty-detective.com/boots-12-days-of-scent-advent-calendar-2026/
Skin £70
beauty-detective.com/boots-24-days-of-skin-advent-calendar-2026/

Liberty – £285 (Beauty Drop members receive £25 off). Now on general sale:
www.libertylondon.com/uk/features/beauty/beauty-advent-calendar#

Unboxing
P. Louise – £250. Available to pre-order with payment instalments available:
https://plouise.co.uk/collections/wonderful-world-of-p-louise-advent-calendar/products/what-glows-around-2026-advent-calendar

John Lewis – £250. Available on pre-sale via the app for MyJL members:
https://beauty-detective.com/john-lewis-beauty-advent-calendar-2026/

Harrods Beauty Advent Calendar – £270. Now on sale online and in-store:
https://www.harrods.com/en-gb/p/harrods-of-london-the-harrods-beauty-advent-calendar-2026-000000000000284475
Harrods 12 Days of Hair & Body – £99. Now on sale online and in-store:
https://www.harrods.com/en-gb/p/harrods-of-london-the-harrods-12-days-of-hair-and-body-advent-calendar-2026-000000000000284465
Harrods Fragrance Advent Calendar – £225. Pre-sale sold out. Went on sale in-store 1/9 but appears to be completely sold out:
https://beauty-detective.com/harrods-fragrance-advent-calendar-2026/

Vogue Festive Calendar – £355. Available to pre-order:
https://shop.vogue.co.uk/products/vogue-festive-calendar-2026

Fortnum & Mason Beauty Advent Calendar - £275. Available now:
https://www.fortnumandmason.com/fortnums-beauty-advent-calendar-2026

Fenwick 25 day beauty advent calendar - £250. Withdrawn due to problems with the ingredients list. When/if it will return is unknown:
https://fenwick.co.uk/products/fenwick-fenwick-beauty-25-day-advent-calendar-2026

Anthropologie 24 Day Beauty Advent Calendar – £98. Available now:
https://www.anthropologie.com/en-gb/shop/24-days-of-beauty-advent-calendar5

The Fragrance Shop - Available for pre-order £120 members, £150 non-members.

Women's Advent Calendar:
^https://www.thefragranceshop.co.uk/the-fragrance-shop/the-fragrance-shop/gift-box-advent/p/76306

Men's Advent Calendar:
^https://www.thefragranceshop.co.uk/the-fragrance-shop/the-fragrance-shop/gift-box-advent/p/76307

Selfridges
Beauty & Fragrance £250. On sale 1/9:
https://beauty-detective.com/selfridges-beauty-advent-calendar-2026/

Fragrance - current thinking is that this will cost £225 and launch around 30/9-1/10:

https://beauty-detective.com/selfridges-fragrance-advent-calendar-2026/

Elle £197 or £187 if you joined the waitlist or with MissBoux’s code available on her unboxing video:

https://beauty-detective.com/elle-advent-calendar-2026/

LookFantastic Beauty. Available for pre-order:
https://www.lookfantastic.com/p/beauty-box/the-beauty-advent-calendar-worth-over-665/17691363/

LookFantastic Fragrance. Available for pre-order:
https://www.lookfantastic.com/p/beauty-box/the-fragrance-advent-calendar-worth-over-530/17691405/

Glossybox. £90 or £75 for subscribers. Code: KAREN5 may give £5 off the £90. Available now:
https://www.glossybox.co.uk/p/beauty-box/glossybox-2026-advent-calendar-worth-over-645/17691528/

OK Beauty Box advent/Hannah Martin. Available now £109:
https://www.okbeautybox.co.uk/products/the-ok-beauty-box-advent-calendar?srsltid=AfmBOoppTH5x1vrf3PT8oCWpKiUj111T5PdA8IBPKCjA9SYOpugUFCBJ

Cult Beauty £245 - £20 gift voucher back when buying at launch 03/09 early access.
https://www.cultbeauty.co.uk/c/advent-calendar/

Harvey Nichols: Due to the recent takeover, it’s unclear if these a/cs are still going ahead for 2026. Details TBC.

Beauty:
https://www.harveynichols.com/harvey-nichols/harvey-nichols-beauty-advent-calendar-2026-75896-258491/

Fragrance:
https://www.harveynichols.com/harvey-nichols/harvey-nichols-12-days-of-fragrance-advent-calendar-2026-75906-258490/

John Lewis Fragrance £99 - appeared briefly for sale 1/9 online but this seems to have been a glitch. The calendar is either out of stock or withdrawn. It MAY reappear 21/9, (its original release date):

https://beauty-detective.com/john-lewis-fragrance-advent-calendar-2026/

Space NK £275 - available now in-store and online:

https://www.spacenk.com/uk/gifts/beauty-advent-calendars/beauty-advent-calendar-MUK200063764.html

Oh My Cream £195 with 20% off for new customers with code: WELCOME20:

https://ohmycream.co.uk//products/advent-calendar-lrnce-oh-my-cream?

YESSTYLE: $164.99 5% off with code: PAULAYES

Early access: 29/9 3am GMT
General access: 6/10 3am GMT

https://beautycalendar.com/yesstyle-advent-calendar-2026/

Sephora UK

Sephora Favourites: £235 available for pre order:

https://www.sephora.co.uk/p/sephora-favorites-advent-calendar?

Next £150 available now:
https://beauty-detective.com/next-beauty-advent-calendar-2026

Debenhams £120
https://www.debenhams.com/pages/beauty-advent-calendar

PURESEOUL £140 (first year they are doing an advent)
beauty-detective.com/pureseoul-advent-calendar-2026/

Holland Barrett: £60 - available now:

https://www.hollandandbarrett.com/shop/product/beauty-advent-calendar-6101407249?

Diptyque: £420 - available now:

uk.diptyqueparis.com/en-uk/products/advent-calendar-25-scented-treasures-xm26advent?

Jo Malone: £375 - available now;

https://www.jomalone.co.uk/product/26322/107822/gift-sets/christmas-kist-advent-calendar?

Jo Loves Waitlist:
https://www.joloves.com/pages/a-jo-loves-advent-calendar?

💄 More Calendars & Spoilers
Rather than making the opening post a mile long, here's a brilliant roundup of lots more advent calendars and the latest spoilers, including Charlotte Tilbury, Elemis, Lancôme, Tatcha, NEOM, Neal's Yard Remedies, and many more as they're announced:
👉 ^https://beauty-detective.com/category/beauty-advent-calendars^/ 👈

In a petrol station buying a coffee at nine thirty in the morning. Looking down realised that the young woman behind me was wearing obvious pyjamas. And slippers. Then looking up to see a fluffy cream dressing gown.

I can't decide if it matters. I was brought up to believe that it shows a complete lack of self respect, and a lack of respect for anyone else, but does it, these days?

YABU. Perfectly normal wear for filling up your car.

YANBU. What is the world coming to that anyone thinks that's reasonable.

A few weeks ago OH (80, frail) & I met up with his daughter-in-law & grandkids to give GK#1 a 21st birthday gift & congratulate her on her law degree. I know she was disappointed to “only” have got a 2:1 but it’s from a very famous university & bloody good.

They have had their struggles: their Dad (my stepson) went AWOL from parenthood ten years ago, they were illegally evicted & homeless.
We are very proud of them.

GK invited us to her graduation (on a Friday), we talked about planning the trip & what she wanted us to wear for the photos, & DiL getting a day of work, GK#2 taking the day off school to be there.
OH & I both understood we were being asked to book the accommodation for the 5 of us & travel together.

So I booked us a flat for 2 nights - Thursday & Friday - & forwarded the confirmation asking when we could go up on the Thursday so I could book train tickets.

No reply.

Left a voicemail in case they’d missed the email.

Emailed again.

Got a scolding reply from GK#1 telling me it’s HER big day and she’s shocked, SHOCKED I booked accommodation (after we both understood we were being asked to, & checking with her whether she’d need it too) & complaining her mum is finding it hard to get time off from work (which I do not think I can be blamed for).

So I have no idea what’s going on.

i replied that of course it’s her big day & up to her who she has there, that she might forgive me if I misunderstood what she wanted, & pointed out that it’s too late to cancel the booking, but she’s welcome to use the accommodation if she wants.

I said if she wanted her granddad there she should let us know.

It’s a trek for us to get there, & not cheap: OH is blind & i cant drive, so the earlier we can book train tickets the better.

Silence since then.

What to do?

Am I unreasonable to feel rather hurt by this?

Breaking news in the Daily Mail. Duke and Duchess of Sussex's children 'removed from school after two days' mol.im/a/16130877 via https://dailym.ai/android

I do wonder if there is actually any school that will be able to meet their expectations in regard to security. I'm interested to see how it all plays out.

I have a rain jacket from a well known outdoor shop, was not cheap, which is NOT waterproof as I found out to my cost on a recent holiday when caught in a downpour. The seams leaked so I was soaked through. Can anyone recommend a genuine waterproof which you can roll up and put in a backpack for holidays/ walking trip?

I can't link Dawn French's latest rant, about Trump, but, if anyone else has seen it, do you find it funny. Or just feel very sorry for her?

Welcome back everyone to the new thread and hello to any newbies - join us now in time for the autumnal fun. 🍂💄🌂

As always when the Advent threads are running hot this thread is a little quieter but holiday releases, sets and edits are just around the corner. I'm super excited to be going to Sephoria London in October - I still can't believe I lucked out getting a ticket.

Some exciting homegrown news -after a few technical hiccups the FB group is now searchable (but private) MN Beauty Chat Swap/Trade/Sell.* *For those interested in the group we have a few joining rules you will be asked to abide by. Thank you @MrsBnow12 @CinderellaParker for your help.

My 2yo goes to her grandparents for childcare once a week, from about 8am to 5pm.

Almost every time she goes, she comes back with raging nappy rash. Previously I’ve put off mentioning it because I figured she’ll be potty trained soon, and it’s not worth causing an issue if it’s going to no longer be a problem. The grandparents are my ex in laws and tend to kick off on the very rare occasions when I mention minor issues.

The problem is, she’s now pretty much potty trained at home and at nursery, and has been out of nappies for about a month. But yesterday they dropped her off not only wearing a nappy, but a nappy that was also full of poo. I changed it immediately and it had clearly been on for some time (so she hadn’t done it on the way over to my house).

I’d let it slide if it was the first occasion but I’ve now had countless experiences of cleaning dried poo off her bum while trying to be gentle around red raw nappy rash. I resent that my daughter is in pain.

I know that nappy rash can happen. But a couple of months ago I was right in the middle of cooking tea and my daughter did a poo, so I couldn’t change her nappy for 20 minutes. That felt like a really long time to me, but there was no sign of nappy rash at all - which makes me wonder how long they must be leaving her in soiled nappies for.

AIBU to be pissed off about this? Would you mention it? Or leave it, given I should be grateful for the free childcare and she’s almost potty trained?

I'm probably going to sound really mean but my NDN out of the blue asked me today if some of her guests would be able to park on my driveway in a few weeks for her child's 2nd birthday party.

We have a DC who is the same age but they have never played or interacted so we defo wouldn't expect an invite or want one either.

We are literally waiting for handover for our new home so it's not like our kids would ever play interact anyway when we move.

For back story we don't really get on, she's very nosey and always talking about people, been the perpetrator of anti social behaviour and the moans about other neighbours doing stuff.

I have tried to remain civil as they live next door to me but last time prior today I saw her 3 months ago and said hello but she was very reluctant to say it back but did say "hi" but could tell she didn't really want to speak so we have just ignored each other since.

They have quite a few issues with other neighbours so it's not just me.

But when she asked me when I declined straight away without even thinking about it and walked back into the house.

AIBU?

Continuing the criticism…still interested, still not bored….

I've got a leather crossbody camera bag with a wide canvas strap and I'm bored of it, feels like every other person has a variation on the same theme...but it's also really functional - right size, easy access, strap doesn't cut into shoulder, and works OK with most outfits (except v smart/dressy).

I'd like to replace it with something that feels a bit more current (or timeless!), but what? Ideally I want to tick the same boxes but change-up the style.

So I don't think I'm bu, but I'm happy to be told otherwise.

So I have 3 kids. 13,10 and 8. Now I would happily leave the 13 and 10 year old alone for an hour, maybe more if we built up to it. They're very sensible, our neighbours are lovely and would help if there was a problem. But the 8 year old obviously is a different story. Shes too young to be left anyway, but shes a very young 8. I'd clock her mannerisms and personality at closer to a 5-6 year old than 8.

We have a lovely babysitter we've been using for years, now shes older her younger sister sometimes babysits too if shes busy. Great set up for us. But a friend questioned why we're hiring a babysitter when the eldest is 13 and could surely be looking after their younger siblings.

Am I wrong for thinking 13 is too young to babysit siblings for the odd evening? Or am I being overprotective somehow? I mean when the 13 year old is 16 and the youngest is 10/11 I'd happily leave them all. Or is that too old?

Hiya
Can anyone help me? I flew on Ryanair alone with my toddler, and they completely broke my buggy. I couldn't push it and was stranded at the airport! It was a gift from someone no longer with us but they are insisting i need a receipt/proof of purchase which i dont have. Has anyone got proof of purchase for a joolz hub +?

My kids are teens now but when they were tiny all of the early parenting decisions/ choices seemed so high stakes. Attachment style parenting vs routines. Breastfeeding vs ff. Cosleeping vs Gina Ford style routines. Sleep training etc etc.

For those with older DC what "style" of parenting did you do (attachment style/ routines/ more of a mix etc) and what is your child's mental health / security/ confidence etc like now? I"m not looking for research studies or opinions about these styles in theory- just your personal experience.

YABU- I think my parenting style produced the promised outcome in my DC

YANBU- I don't think any of it made any difference

I'm 41, 5ft 7in 12 stone and I strength train for half an hour 4 days a week. I do under 20k steps due to being a cleaner 5 days a week. I eat very well and log my food on myfitnesspal.

Last week doctors thought my gallbladder was inflamed but, bloods, urine and a further physical exam all came back fine. Then why for the love of God am I am ALWAYS tired?Energy drinks or black coffee do nothing. I sleep for 8 hours.

I'd had a previous blood test a few weeks back as I suspected perimenopause but apart from high reading of b12...which I have no idea where that came from as I don't eat much in the way of the foods mentioned that are fortified, or take vitamin supplements either. I do have fibroids, but still I constantly feel tired and just generally unwell. Like the feeling that you're coming down with a cold, just run down all the bastard time.

Would it be worth getting a private doctor and see if there's any other tests or something because I am fed up of feeling like this.

I posted last week about my 18 year old accessing his child ISA account. Things have escalated but him accessing that money is the least of my worries now. I thought I would start a new thread rather than continue the old one.

My DS went to stay with a friend for a few days and then randomly came home the other morning. (He has a history of self medicating for his ADHD with cannabis and he is now most probably addicted and destroying his life. He has recently lost his job). I heard him rattling around downstairs so once he went up to bed I went to see what he had been doing downstairs. On the ktichen table I find 8 or so small containers with white powder - some were in crystal form and had white powder crushed by it. Just left there. I am sure he didn't mean to leave it but I have an younger child who would have trotted dowsnstairs in the morning and seen it. I hid it and gave it to my husband, We were not sure what it was but assumed it was not a good or legal thing. He's now asking me if I have taken anything from him. I have questioned him and said what exactly do you think I took? Was it some weed? He said no not weed. He has told me now it wsa cocaine. I don't know if that is definitely true or he is trying to wind me up but this has happened once before. Last time, we told him we'd taken it and he was not getting it back. We ended up giving him several hundreds of pounds to pay someone off and he swore he wouldnt get involved again.He has told me he doesnt take it only sells a little bit because he needs money. He said he is in debt. We have bailed him out so many times (usually for large amountd of weed). I feel so scared and have no idea what to do. Obviously we wont be returning it - my DH actually threw it out. I have suggested he spends the time looking for a job if he needs money. He said he is doing that too but its 3pm and he has only just woken up. How the hell do I navigate this?? Who can I turn to for help? I feel desperate.

Things seem very weighted against young people right now in terms of tax, student loans, and then there's the cost of mortgages and childcare. I know there are some older people struggling and I do feel sorry for them. But plenty are not and I think we just can't afford the triple lock at the moment. AIBU