Welcome to the 12th thread, we still have 50 days till the daily unboxing officially starts, although I very much doubt any of our calendars will remain untouched until then 😂
Still time for lots more friendly chat, tips and discount codes - to cut down on links as a poster requested, here's link to some very comprehensive run-downs of the calendars https://beauty-detective.com/category/beauty-advent-calendars/
When enjoying those breakdowns please remember that some are OOS already - Harrod's Fragrance, Harrod's Beauty and Selfridges Beauty to name a few.

Every year I go all out for Christmas, the food, the meal plans, themed evenings, parties. It’s great but tiring. I’m always exhausted by new year.
This year I have thought many times how it would be nice to go away. I wouldn’t want to be anywhere hot, I’d like to keep some tradition.

A resort hotel not too far away is hosting a Christmas stay from Christmas Eve to Boxing Day, all meals and festivities included. I’m really up for this, no cooking or cleaning!

My husband however isn’t, he would rather stay home. As the cook and main Christmas organiser, I feel it’s a good opportunity, to try something new.

Do any of you go away for Christmas or do you prefer home comforts and traditions?

🤣
https://www.vinterior.co/furniture/storage/trunks/vintage-wooden-crate-sku27830576

I mean good on them if there is actually a market for flipping crappy old boxes like this though…

It’s that time of year again and my family has found this year tough like so many others. I manage a clerical team within a much larger public sector industry and the Christmas Party talk started today but by all accounts we are late!
The minimum price per head is coming in at £70 with others way over £100.

I’m struggling to justify the expenditure but as a “manager” I feel it’s my duty to go. That money would pay for our Christmas lunch if not more. Everyone else seems ok with it so I’m also embarrassed- AIBU to think this is too much?

So I’ve had a new boyfriend since October last year. He’s good to me, kind to me, does lots of jobs around the house, cooks, cleans, is great with my kids etc… However, I am paying for everything, he is using my car, he is eating my food, he is basically living in my home rent free. He does pay when we go out for meals occasionally but tbh that’s not that often. When I asked for his share of the price of our summer holiday he was upset. He says that he doesn’t ask to eat my dinners and he wouldn’t have them unless I offered. It kind of leaves me with nowhere to go on the conversation. He doesn’t want to book any holidays so it’s always my idea and then I pay. I had a horrible husband before I met him and he is not that at all… but something isn’t sitting right here… everytime I raise it, I just don’t get anywhere so I have realised there is no point. Can you give me your views?

The continuing story of the Sussexes and their PR issues

DD is in year 4 and has a very set best friend since nursery school. They tend to have weekly play dates and monthly sleepovers. This friend is coming over on Saturday for a play and a sleepover.

Also there’s another girl in DD’s class that, previously, DD had said was a bit mean and she didn’t like. This other girl and DD were in the same summer holiday club in August and DD said the girl had changed and she liked her now. So they played a bit at our house and the girl’s house (no sleepovers). Anyway, a few weeks ago DD said she doesn’t like this girl anymore as she’s back to being mean. DD had apparently told her “if you’re mean like that, I don’t want to play” and the girl kept doing it.

Anyway I have just looked at my phone and this girl’s mother has messsged “Hi A, could B come round for a play date and a sleepover on Saturday? She’s been hearing about C and D talking about it and she doesn’t want to miss out!” With lots of laughing and praying emojis.

I have two older daughters so I thought I’d heard it all! (Also DD having older sisters means she’s quite good at holding her boundaries and understanding play dynamics etc).

Anyway, DH says it’s fine for this mum to ask. Just say no. But then I look like the bad guy!

AIBU?

(I am going to say no, btw, as DD won’t want her to come.)

I'm writing this in a bit of a confused state, so bear with me haha. This post is for Some advice and vent

I'm 35F and my husband is also 35. I know this is a mostly UK-based forum, although we're actually living in Paris. We have two kids, a 5-year-old boy and a 3-year-old girl, and we both work. My husband works for a big US-based multinational company (can't really name it), and I own my own business. We're doing well financially, so that's not really an issue.

He's a good husband and father, and we're very much in love. We also have a good sex life, and I genuinely find him attractive. He's never really given me a reason to doubt him, which is probably why I'm struggling to understand why I feel this way.

I'm slim and in good shape, even after two pregnancies, although obviously that hasn't been easy. I run my own business, which takes up a lot of my time, and then there's the kids and everything that comes with being a mum. I manage it all pretty well, or at least I think I do. I don't even know what I'm trying to say here haha, but I think part of me sometimes wonders whether I'm enough for him.

Anyway, there's a woman at his workplace who's 29, single, works in management and also models. She comes from a wealthy family as well. My husband is senior to her in the company hierarchy, but they've been working together for around two years now.

I've met her three or four times, and she's always been perfectly nice to me, so I can't exactly say she's done anything openly inappropriate. My issue is that they're quite close. They work together every day, so obviously they need to communicate, and I understand that. But sometimes they go to dinner after work, travel together for work events, and she invites us to her brother's wedding or events at her home.

Another thing I've noticed is that whenever she's around me and the kids, she seems to take on this almost maternal role with my children. I don't know if that's just her being friendly, but it sometimes feels a little strange to me.

I've also seen photos of them standing quite close together, with his hands around her waist or them looking particularly comfortable with each other. Maybe I'm reading too much into it, but it does make me wonder.

The thing that really got me thinking was when I looked at their chats. There were some random deleted messages, with normal, non cheating conversations before and after them. I didn't see anything that directly suggested cheating, but the deleted messages have been playing on my mind.

I honestly don't know what to make of their relationship. Maybe they're just close colleagues and friends, and I'm making something out of nothing. But even if nothing physical or romantic has happened, sometimes their closeness makes me feel like I'm competing with her.

And I hate that feeling.

She's younger, unmarried, has a successful career and models on the side. Meanwhile, I'm a mother of two, running a business and trying to balance everything. I know I'm doing well for myself, and I actually earn more than my husband, so this isn't about needing him financially or feeling dependent on him. I also have male and female clients through my work, and I get attention from men sometimes. But I know where my boundaries are, and I never turn that attention into something more.

That's partly why this bothers me. I don't think having friends of the opposite sex is wrong, and I'm not asking my husband to stop working with women. But sometimes I feel like whatever he has with this woman goes beyond an ordinary professional relationship, even though I can't point to anything concrete and say, 'This is definitely wrong.'

The frustrating part is that my husband gives me attention, makes me feel loved, and has never really made me feel neglected. I'm not someone who constantly needs reassurance, and I'm not a people pleaser in our relationship either.

Yet somehow, I still find myself comparing myself to her.

I love my husband, I'm attracted to him, and I don't want anybody else. I could easily entertain attention from other men if I wanted to, but I don't. I want my husband, and I want to feel secure in my marriage.

I don't want to start unnecessary arguments or become the stereotypical insecure wife who sees every woman as a threat. At the same time, I don't want to ignore something that's genuinely inappropriate just because I'm afraid of looking insecure.

I suppose I'm trying to figure out whether this is my own insecurity getting the better of me, or whether their level of closeness would make other people uncomfortable too.

I don’t know what I will achieve in writing this, but to say I am lost is an understatement. I am approaching 30, and it feels like nothing is going well for me apart from my friends. That can change at any point though, especially at my age:

1. My partner and I have been dating for coming up to 6 years, yet no mention of marriage. He is otherwise a very good person to have in my life, and to be honest with everything else, it is probably better to have him than not.
2. Lots of trauma due to various incidents in my life. Nearly died at 19 due to a nasty bout of glandular fever that put me in anorexia not by choice. Then I was near a terrorist incident on my year abroad. Cant make this stuff up…
3. Rejected a lot in social groups, most likely due to undiagnosed autism as they seemed to make their minds up about me without me saying anything a lot of the times. Less of an issue now that I have good friends, but still affected me a lot. Meanwhile those who bullied me seemingly went on to have perfect lives (that I know aren’t really perfect, but certainly more than mine is).
4. I am trying to improve my career by putting myself out there. Not working out even though I am really trying here and stressing over the fact I am not good enough.

I have tried to seek mental health help, but the NHS has deemed me a non-priority case, and I can’t afford therapy while I am paying a good £200+ in driving lessons a month.

I have felt extremely low about the circumstances of my life. I know I can’t just keep wallowing about things, but equally there is a limit to what I can take. I am also proactively trying to change things, but nothing gets better. Nobody in my life cares about me enough. I feel like if I disappeared tomorrow, it wouldn’t be noticed.

It’s all happening! 3 charity visits coming up!

I'm looking for a corduroy dress, probably button through, preferably elbow length sleeves, just above knee length. It needs to be a petite fit ideally- I'm 5ft 1 and size 16. I've tried a couple from Next - a green one from m&co- sleeves too tight and restrictive and a beautiful dark red one from love and roses - too a line for me. Any ideas anyone please? Any suggestions of an alternative would be welcome. Just needs to be warmish and suitable for a nice pub lunch. Can anyone help please?

I'm vegetarian and I'm hotdesking with someone at work with severe allergies to nuts, sesame and egg. So all of these have been banned from my lunchbox by our H&S team.

I also try to avoid UPF so I haven't gone down the route of quorn ham, vegan mayo etc but getting quite desperate now!

Can anyone help with sandwich ideas? I am stuck in a loop of Cheddar and lime pickle, cheddar and Branston pickle, and Brie and mango chutney, and cream cheese with sun-dried tomatoes.

Tried AI and got some very vile suggestions which surely no human ever eats (e.g. mashed avocado and miso . . . I tried it but yuck!) Plus some things that would take ages - I will not be grilling aubergine in my office kitchen!)

Appreciate suggestions- I have quite broad tastes, my only major dislike is aniseed flavours e.g. fennel. It needs to already be ready in the morning to go in my sandwich and sit there till 12ish.

Story is matched with this man, we arranged a date which became quite short because of time constraints, I was flying out the next day. There was a lot of mutual flirting and attraction and we ended up in bed not long after.

Unfortunately, he suffered a bit of ED so nothing penetrative happened. He then got quite embarrassed and before I fully realised what was happening he was dressing and left shortly after, saying this was obviously a one time thing, meanwhile I'm starkers laying in bed below him.

I text him shortly after he left when I was still thinking things through. He didn't reply all day yesterday, today I get this pretty awful message, and I just feel disgusted.

Was this him making light of the situation or does he genuinely see me as only good for pleasuring him.

I'm currently divorcing my husband. I've been strong and angry, but totally I'm just feeling heartbreakingly sad. I've tried some Taylor swift songs but they just aren't sad enough. Anyone got any recommendations for some songs I can just be utterly broken to for an hour before I sick it all back up and crack on. I've currently got hurt by Jonny cash on but it's not quite the vibe I want.

I am a chilly person, and in the winter (and TBH in the spring and autumn too!) I struggle with what to wear if we are going out for example to the pub or a casual dinner.

I often wear a thermal long sleeved thin top with a round neck jumper underneath, plus a scarf in case I’m still cold! Jumper tends to be the M&S supersoft ones in khaki / navy / maroon.

Does anyone have suggestions as to what I could wear to be warm but look nicer? (Other than a beer jacket that is!)

edited to add I tend to wear wide leg cords / jeans on the bottom half.

Thanks

Has anyone tried Japanese head spa and would you recommend it for relaxation and for trying to relax and unwind?

I am very stressed lately. My work is very demanding and I live with a parent that is showing issues and I suspect cognitive decline but doctors are scumbags who won't help with a diagnosis until there's a crisis with her. This isn't just one or two things that emerged in a few weeks it months. I ahev five years of observations and experiencing some problematic behaviours.

I know a Japanese head spa won't get rid of my problems but wondering will it help. There is a salon in my city with some slots for Saturday and I am really tempted.

I've loved charity shopping for over 30 years, but like many I've long mixed it with online second hand shopping.
The stories in this Guardian article are not new to those of us who've read threads on here, work in the shops or know people who do.
I never sell online myself and am a very mindful donatter, but my own eBay addiction and Vinted dabbling is contributing to this in a way.
Shops won't want to discourage donations, but it seems more push back on the mountains of crap is needed.

www.theguardian.com/fashion/2026/oct/13/people-sell-their-best-stuff-on-vinted-how-charity-shops-became-a-dumping-ground-for-unsellable-clothes

My ex FIL passed away and his funeral is next Friday but I’m away the night before at a show with a friend (booked and paid for months ago, hotel and tickets etc…)

I liked him he was a lovely man and I still seen him on occasion due to my kids birthdays etc or events for them. I also get on well with his wife (not my ex’s mother) Ex and I get on well and I’ve been with my current partner for 10+ years for context.

I visited exFIL the week before he died 3 times at home with my DC (we know it was terminal) and I’m pleased I did. Ordinarily I’d absolutely go and if we’d just planned to go for a day out without having pre booked I would have cancelled but as I say it’s pre paid and non refundable (£250 between us) and that would mean my friend loosing her money too.

We’re going to a different city about 2 hour drive away or 1.5 hr on the train. Funeral is at 11am so for me to make that we’d have to be up and out by 8am if we drive and whilst ok I thinks it’s a bit rubbish for my friend who was looking forward to having a night away and it’s going to cut it short and she’s going to have to clock watch and be careful what she drinks, if she has to drive a few hours earlier than anticipated.

It feels like it impacts her experience the night before too, as we won’t be able to go for a drink after the show etc and I know she wanted to do that. If we have a couple of glasses of wine with a meal before hand then 1 or 2 wines at the show then one or two after it adds up. Yes she doesn’t need to drink, however she enjoys a nice meal and drinks. We live in different directions part of the way so one of us would drive the other to pick up their car and even if we get the train we’d have to leave at similar time.

The plan was to have lunch then leave as we didn’t need to get back until tea time. If it was a close friend or relative I would cancel but really that’s not the situation. So I feel I’m damned if I do and damned if I don’t.

I could make it back for the wake but again it’s still cutting her time short and tbh I won’t know most people there and the coupe of people I do know I don’t like.

What would you do?

I’ve already told his wife we’re away but I’ll try to make it and she was understanding tbf

Welcome to the eighth thread of the 50 Books Challenge for this year.

The challenge is to read fifty books (or more!) in 2026, though reading fifty isn't mandatory. Any type of book can count, and please try to let us all know your thoughts on what you've read.

If possible, please can you embolden your titles and maybe authors as well of books you've read or going to read as this makes it much easier to keep track of books or authors that may appeal (or not appeal) to everyone else.

Some of us bring over our updated lists to the new thread. Again, this is up to you.

The first thread of the year is here the second thread here, the third thread here, the fourth thread here, the fifth thread here , the sixth thread here and the seventh thread

Is everyone tracking their child now? I had a few people surprised on another group because I said I don’t agree with tracking my children. In school they were talking about. I can see the appeal for a younger child a toddler maybe or a child thats a runner. But are we all just tracking our school age children now? (even if that doesn’t apply)

Looking for some ideas for DD’s birthday next week. I wanted to plan a day in London as a birthday treat I was thinking maybe the Jellycat cafe at Selfridges (it’s a shame the jellycat brunch at Harrods doesn’t open till November). Would love some ideas please. She’ll be turning 8

Do you agree?

Dd when she finished her bowl of pomegranate seeds on the sofa asked Dh to go and put it in the kitchen please. Each time this happens or she asks for a drink/snack, he says she should take it back herself etc. I tend to do it mostly for her, she's very independent, always has been, sorts her own school bag, homework, showers etc, but she's still only young and it's not too much that a parent brings her food and drinks, is it?!

Dh and I disagree a little on this

How much do you do for your 8 year old (or around that age)?

For the first time ever, I’m stumped. Dh doesn’t like experience gifts and doesn’t want sport merch (has so much already!). Would love some inspiration from what others are getting their DH! Dh likes cooking, chess and football / F1.

I’ve got a pair of Skechers trainers, the tongue has a very hard/ stiff edge and digs in to the front of my ankle, maybe because they’re a bit too long?
Does anyone have any ideas for what I could do? Has anyone had similar issues (I know some adidas trainers have the same problem). Thankyou.

Is it just me who finds this a bit questionable as in a few of the videos I've seen, the child is either too unwell to give consent (eg lying in hospital bed on a ventilator) or due to ND type disabilities may not be fully aware either. I understand that parents may want support, or to raise awareness but that about the rights of the child?