I hear a lot about this generation not getting on the property ladder and it is a big problem. I was amazed when both dc finished uni, got jobs and bought houses within 2 years of graduating.
To avoid drip feed
Yes they are mortgaged
They both bought with partners

Just heard Dh chopping things away in the back garden, assumed was the hedges which do need doing, but it was a beautiful, blossoming tree with pink flowers. It’s the gorgeous one I sit and look at in the evening if I sit outside, I can (well, could) just about see it when sat inside in the dining room, it’s gorgeous and gives off a lovely smell, i’d also put a string of lights around it
Went out to ask what he was doing as branches of flowers tumbling to the ground. He said it’s gardening and has to be done? Is this correct? I don’t know much about gardening tbh, but all I can see is a few flowers left on a spiky sort of tree, when previously it was big and blossoming 😔

My friend shared a funny story this morning.

Her garden ends in a six foot fence, which backs onto another garden for the house behind her. They are large, very long gardens.

The man of this house, clearly thinking he had found a secluded spot away from his kids, was having a VERY explicit conversation with his wife on the phone, at the end of his garden, right against the fence. He was describing in great detail exactly what he was going to do to her when she returned home from her trip.

Trouble is, friend and her kids were sat right on the other side of the fence. They have a decking area there with chairs, tables, kids toys etc.

She couldn't let this conversation go on in earshot of her kids (3yo and 5yo) so she cheerfully shouted over the fence "very happy for your wife mate, but my kids are two feet away from you!" To which she heard a fumbled "shit, hold on" and then silence.

She reiterated this story to us, we all laughed, and agreed she did the right thing.

Retold story to husband just now who laughed, but said really, she had no right to tell him anything and embarrass him. It's his garden, he can have that conversation if he wants, and she should have moved the kids away until it stopped.

I disagree and think if you're going to live around other people you need to think of other people.

Who's right?
Reasonable - me and my friends
unreasonable - my DH

So sad rip

I just don’t know what to do anymore. I am full time breadwinner with a SAHH, I have worked hard and made hard choices to get to where I am in my career. My husband would only ever have earned minimum wage whilst I have made it to C suite. This means that after I had my children I had to work full time and I still struggle with feeling like im not a good enough mum, not good enough at work ect but I have to do this due to the reliance on me for everything financial. The weight is stressful to bear, but I plough on. The money I earn means we own our house outright, we have good savings and have savings for the children in the future. I moved into a new role based in london 2 years ago. This means that once a week I have, for my own sanity to stay overnight as I live in Lancashire. I have to do this to attend the meetings I am expected to attend. Despite everything being down to me my husband does nothing but complain each week about my night away, even putting words in my childrens mouths like oh another night away, that’s not right is it kids, ect. The fact is I don’t want to be away but its my job. My husband doesn’t work, enjoys our lifestyle, we have a cleaner and our children are at school, I feel awful being away but what can I do? Quit and halve my income? I am so stressed out by the constant criticism, im not expecting him to be happy about it but making me feel worse when I already feel terrible I think is not the way to support a partner. Or am I being unreasonable? We knew this about the role before I accepted it.

What's the weirdest thing you've seen on a CV? I received one in application for a job and they had put a hobbies section in which they'd listed "smoking".

Could I have a bit of perspective on this please?

Our neighbours of many many years installed a high pitched bird scared in their back garden. It drives us crazy and it doesn’t actually stop the pigeons going into their garden. We have asked them a couple of themes if they could turn it off or at least down. When they refused we asked if they could at least leave it off until later in the morning as DD was sleeping in the back bedroom and it was waking her up. That was also met with a refusal. So the weather got nicer again and it meant we couldn’t sit in the back garden or have the patio doors open. We tried one last time but again they refused to turn it off stating what he did in his property was up to him - if only the sound stopped at the boundary that would be fair enough. we made a noise complaint to the council. They got a letter and we got a diary sheet to fill in. One of our other neighbours spoke to them (they are also sick of the noise but not willing to do anything about it) and he told them nothing was going to change. Someone else must have made a complaint as the council guy came out to him and told him to remove it. Neighbour is now chatting shit about us and the easy going relationship we had has gone forever. I know how different noises can be perceived differently by different people but we couldn’t stand that high pitched whining.

was I unreasonable to take whatever steps necessary to allow me to use my garden ?

NC for this, as I've been pretty vocal about it in real life.

How do people feel about the fairer end to relationships consolation? Especially changes to cohabitation rights on separation.

www.gov.uk/government/consultations/a-fairer-end-to-relationships

I don't dispute the problem, women who've sacrificed careers, done the childcare, or been financially controlled in long cohabiting relationships are genuinely left exposed. But I have real issues with the automatic opt-out model, especially for people already cohabiting. Lots of us (including women with assets to protect) have already deliberately chosen not to marry because we wanted to keep finances separate. That was a conscious decision. An opt-out scheme just reverses that default and makes us go through hoops to preserve it.

What if one partner refuses to opt out? That suddenly gives enormous leverage to whoever has least to lose. And there's a horrible irony where a financially controlling partner could use the opt-out process against the very women this is supposed to help. There's also a pretty obvious perverse incentive: if your savings become claimable, why save? Especially if one of you is a saver and the other a spender.

I'm also a bit annoyed that the whole consultation reads like the decision's already been made and they're just sorting the details (what qualifying period, what if someone's still married to someone else).

On a personal note, the opt-out framing is already causing tension in my own relationship. The assumption that wanting to opt out means you're expecting it to fail, or don't trust your partner. I suspect I'm not the only one who would have that problem.

Hello.

I'm so fed up with buying slightly shit t-shirts.

If you have large boobs so can't do anything completely unfitted, but don't want to wear tight t-shirts (which used to be my go-to when young) any more, what do you wear?

I think I like this (I think) from Lands End Women's Cap Sleeve V-Neck Supima T-Shirt | Lands' End and have ordered to try it.

Basically, my aim is to minimise the top.

Anyone got any more links/tips?

Hello I’m 9dpo today and I think I’ve just had my first vvv faint positive. Was completely negative first thing this morning but I’ve just tested now and I think I can see something. What do you all think? Will take another first thing in the morning.

i recently had a delicious pasta badged as “roast veg rigatoni “ at a restaurant and it was so so delicious. Rich, salty, herby. Just marvellous but my pasta attempts always feel lacking. What’s the secret of restaurant pasta (meat free for me) and has anyone got any recipes they make and recommend ? I’ve mastered a good tomato and basil but craving more interesting ones. I love all veg, artichokes, capers but need rock solid tried and tested ! Thank you. Hopefully this is a nice friendly Saturday thread that’ll give me something to cook later

What's normal in your area?

Today's party was in a hall. For adults, there was assorted soft drinks, crisps, chocolate brownies and takeaway pizzas.

Last weekend there was crisps, cake, soft drinks and a lot of canned cocktails / cava / beers. This is the usual (kid in reception so we've had around 15 parties).

Tomorrow is a soft play party so the host - if same as others - will put a card behind the cafe for adults to order whatever hot or cold drinks they want.

Im planning my child's party. What goes down well for adults in your area? I'll definitely provide alcohol - would be an outlier to not do so at an afternoon party round here.

Need help! Which of these dresses do you think is most appropriate to wear as a guest to a wedding in France. I love the first one but my daughter has said she thinks it’s too white (& therefore to be avoided in the tradition of only brides wear white). Would value any views. It’s going to be hot so I can’t add a coloured jacket. Many thanks!

Hello I thought I'd start a thread where we can build up the excitement for tomorrow 😂

I'm enjoying the English Country/ family vibe I'm getting from the setting and wedding prep.

Fox Gloves in the flowers 💕

I'm looking forward to seeing Harriet's dress, she's a very attractive women, but the flowers are always of special interst to me.

Who do we think will be bridesmaids? Peters P's and Harriet's daughters presumably? Zara's kids?

I read that Philip and Zara have a half sister who will be attending, I didn't kow about her!

I also read that Peters first wedding to Autumn was sold to Hello and criticised for this. Very tacky. It looks like he's learned and is not cashing in this time, so hopefully we'll get a good look at evryone.

Exchanged contracts Thursday for completion next Friday. Buyer below me and I’m buying ex rental which is at top of chain

randomly bank withdraw offer Friday afternoon, 24 hrs after exchanging)saying credit rating changed therefore affordability impacted. Have a call at 9am Saturday. Wtf absolutely nothing I can think of that would have changed and my Experian score is very strong still. Any advice - is there any way I can still complete in 6 days?!

any solicitors or bankers on here?

Hi,
As promised, here is the new thread.

All are welcome to chat about all things Toast, and any related topics!

DD, 17, only eats ‘clean’. She eats like this because she says she feels much better on it, and for her that’s a priority above all else. And, to be fair to her, she’s thriving. Doing well at alevels, volunteering, working, and generally a wonderfully bright and joyous person to be around. This is in stark contrast to the gcse years with school refusal, period pains, excessive sleeping, no homework completed ever.
if it’s relevant, and so as not to drip feed, she ticks every adhd box at the top, but not diagnosed although we’re 4 years in now on the nhs list, and she’s got through the first few stages, and probably autism, but is able to mask so much, that that isn’t noticeable to the outside world.
daily menu for her would be steak, eggs, salmon, about 4 different fruits/veg, honey, all organic, and meat/fish/eggs only cooked in a special non Teflon pan with tallow. Drinks are filtered water only, and a hot drink with ginger, lemon.
I didn’t think this was too bad, expensive yes but I can afford it, but many of her peers are eating junk on the daily, and drinking alcohol, so compared to that, I feel like she’s ok. Yes, I know there’s lots in between that and balance would be key but I can’t force any near adult to eat, and certainly not DD for whom telling her what to do has the exact opposite effect.
anyway. On here last night, i discovered there’s a diagnosis for this - orthorexia, and it scared me. Oh, one last thing, it doesn’t stop her eating out socially, she’ll order steak and chips and I’ll eat her chips.

My MIL is 91, born 1935. She has recently gone into a care home. So far, all of the entertainment in the home has been so dated - lots of WW2 focus, songs including roll out the barrel and white cliffs of dover etc. I do realise it's currently the D day celebration but it hasn't been just this weekend.
It's driving me mad, MIL was 10 when the war ended. She was in her 20's in the rock and roll era in the 50's. My own mother, who was in a nursing home until she died, was born in 1940 and had the same experience in her home; despite being in her prime in the late 50's/swinging 60's
AIBU to think that nursing homes need to up their game with their entertainment themes?

Normally wouldn't be so much of an issue but i'm planning on getting a pet but the breeders will only have them available at specific times of the year and is dependent on when mum is pregnant, gives birth and then an 8 week waiting time to release them to me.

Manager is pestering me to take holidays "around the time" that it MAY be available, but until the breeder gets in touch with me to confirm babies have even been born, I can't really commit to a date.

If i book the time off and it lines up, fine, but if it doesn't then i've used holiday i didn't need to take, then, because someone else has holiday planned, I wouldn't be able to book time off again until much later in the month, meaning i wouldn't be able to pick them up for a further 2-3 weeks after they were initially available.

It's really beginning to bug me because I feel like i'm being pressured to take holidays that might not line up with when I need to take time off to take care and bond with a new animal.

The saga continues

It was my 40th birthday yesterday. I woke up with the baby, took her downstairs (school day for eldest) and DP had put up a banner that said happy birthday and some balloons, he bought me a box of chocolates that he usually buys me (£12) and handed me two cards, all good so far. Then he declared that he didn't do the babies card (14 months) so he got her to scribble in the card in front of me, again that's fine, I get it. Then he said he hasn't got me anything else because he didn't know what to get. Nothing from the kids, no cake (no suprise but again mentioned that he forgot) nothing.

It's upset me because I always put in so much effort into his gifts, I've kitted him out with art supplies, camera equipment, motorbike gear, random days during the year I'll get him something special, I get him thoughtful gifts from the children etc etc.

I didn't say anything at that point, just said thanks for the chocolates and kept a smile on but the longer the day went on the worse it got. I ended up taking myself out to a shopping centre and buying myself some flowers and a vase just so I had something. I sound really grabby but I'm really not, I never spend money on myself, I rarely complain about anything much and I certainly don't demand presents.

But this year I've had a tough time of it, I've done every single night with the baby on my own, most of the days too. You can probably tell where this is going. The admin, the kids, shopping, planning, driving etc etc. he goes to work and he works hard but then he comes home wrecked from his job and then goes out with the camera for hours. I barely see him and he's spent hours and hours looking at new camera lens', bought himself one and some other bits that probably cost upwards of £300 (not expensive for camera gear but we're also penny pinching atm) and he couldn't even be bothered to even try to get me something special?

It could have been a picture of the kids on a keyring or something. But nothing?

It came to a head last night, he kept asking me what was wrong so I told him, I told him I felt unseen, I was upset, that I just wanted to feel appreciated and loved for just one day, he got defensive, seemed to think that the banner was the effort required and bought up a gift he bought me 11 years ago as proof that he does make an effort?

This morning I've gone downstairs and he's taken the banner down and will barely acknowledge me other than to say how tired he is (he sleeps downstairs as the babies room is being renovated, he's dragged this out for over a year) so I've gone back to bed and left the baby with him for a while.

I don't even know why I've posted this. I know a lot of you think it's fine to not bother with birthdays but not even a token of affection on my 40th, is that really okay?

Sorry it's long, thank you if you read it.

Just a straw poll to see if I am being unreasonable. I have two children, one is three and the other is 6 months. I am exclusively breastfeeding the baby as well as working a bit from home. The three year old is in nursery and my husband is at full time work in the office. Is it normal to have strong feelings of wanting to divorce my husband? Or should I wait until this period passes and I stop breastfeeding?

We had a date night planned as we both thought we needed to spend some quality time together so we bought some wine, agreed on a nice meal to have just us once the little ones had gone to bed which is 7:00.

Anyway about 6:50 just as I was upstairs getting the children ready for bed and looking forward to the evening we had planned, step son turned up baring in mind he is in his 20s and lives a 10 minute walk away, I assumed he wouldn’t stay long as Dh would probably say we had already made plans this evening but Dh said nothing while our plans went down the pan and stepson sat there until 10:15 before going home and all Dh could say was it wasn’t his fault as he didn’t know he was going to turn up.
AIBU to have thought he would have said something as we had plans?
I hadn’t bought enough ingredients for a date night for 3 so I didn’t end up cooking the salmon but Dh did open the wine and pour it 3 ways.

Do you all think this is a good idea?

https://littlepaws.bearblog.dev

I saw a great pair of trousers in a charity shop ..blus and white striped, bottom cuffs navy broderie embroidered. They were way too small but the label said in other words, but goggling finds nothing!
Anyone can help me find them?