I'm really unsure on what to get my best friend for Christmas this year. I usually buy from a list for her, but she's said there's nothing she needs this year. We've been friends for about a thousand years, and I love her dearly, but I find her tricky to buy for. She doesn't really have any hobbies other than reading,but she only buys second hand books and doesn't particularly care for certain authors or series I could buy for her. She likes vintage/cottage core decor, so I can't easily find her house type gifts from typical shops. She's waaaay too many clothes/shoes etc so that's out. I've got her a small jewellery item already for xmas. She's a dogmum. She likes gardening, but I've previously bought her a nice gardening book and it felt like a flop. She likes birds but I think I've exhausted that avenue. She doesn't eat out. She doesn't enjoy cooking or baking. Budget around £100. Any ideas would be gratefully appreciated

What next? …upcoming “engagements” ….humanitarian projects….will they ? Won’t they? 🤷‍♀️
welcome everyone 👋👋👋👋👋👋👋👋👋

My daughter is doing a degree in Business with Spanish and Italian, and she is very happy with her choice of college and course.

She had enough points to get into a more prestigious college and could have studied subjects such as humanities, communications or journalism. However, she was quite determined to do this particular course because she wanted something more practical and less theoretical. She also liked the industry links and the fact that there is a mandatory year abroad in Spain.

I completely understand her reasoning, and I have always wanted my children to make their own decisions about their lives. I don't want to be the kind of parent who tries to dictate what they should study or what career they should pursue.

However, if I'm honest, I feel disappointed, and I feel guilty about feeling that way.

My own degree was in Literature and Sociology at a good college, and I suppose I had hoped she might follow a more academic route. I value the intellectual side of a university education and had imagined her studying something along those lines at a more prestigious institution. I think I had an idea in my head of the sort of university experience I would have liked her to have.

Part of me worries that, given her academic ability, she could have challenged herself more and that she might be missing out on a richer university experience. I also wonder whether a degree from a more prestigious college might have opened up different opportunities for her in the future.

At the same time, I realise that she has thought about what she wants and has chosen a course that genuinely appeals to her. She isn't disappointed with her choice or wishing she had done something else. In fact, she's happy, which is what I should want for her.

I know that practical degrees can lead to good careers, and I can see the advantages of learning languages, spending a year abroad and having industry connections. I'm not suggesting that her course is a bad one, and I certainly don't want her to feel that I'm unhappy with her decision.

I think what I'm struggling with is that she has had the academic ability to pursue a different route but has actively chosen not to. Perhaps I had hoped she would value some of the things I valued about university.

I have always believed that my children should make their own choices, and I know it would be unfair to expect her to follow the path I took or to choose a degree based on prestige alone.

So, AIBU to feel disappointed, even though I respect her decision and am glad she's happy? Am I being too hung up on academic prestige and the kind of education I personally value? Or is it understandable to feel that she could have made more of her academic potential, even if she sees things differently?

I don't want to project my own expectations onto her, but I can't quite shake the feeling that I wish she'd chosen differently. I feel bad about that because, ultimately, it's her life and her decision.

I'd appreciate some honest perspectives, particularly from people whose children have chosen a different path from the one they might have hoped for them. How do you let go of your own expectations and feel genuinely happy for your child when their choices aren't quite what you imagined?

Looking for a petite friendly coat that is warm, waterproof and stylish. Size 8-10. Happy to pay up to £200. I don't mind padded as long as it's not too much. Has anyone seen anything?

He was only 34. He played Walter White Junior in Breaking Bad. So young. A fantastic actor and did so much to support people with disabilities in getting into the film industry. What a sad loss.

Im pretty sure I have obstructive sleep apnea.

I snore, badly. This has increased a lot recently. I have regained some weight lost last year. Pretty sure the snoring reduced significantly when I lost weight so obviously thats a priority. I wake up with a dry mouth snd a fat tongue. I don't have a partner so no ideaif Im gasping/stopping breathing, I haven't noticed that I am. Im tired.

Im just looking for others experiences of anything else thats helped. I see pillows suggested, mouthguard type devices that pull your lower jaw forward a bit.

Anything that anyone has found that helps.

My daughter has woken up itchy all over. Shes been on cocodamol for a few days could this cause her to be itchy all a sudden? Her feet are also ice cold I’ve just put in her fluffy socks. There’s a few spots here and there her chest and tummy are also a bit mottled and blotchy.

I’ve changed her sheets and new PJs but nothing is new. I can’t sleep now and Google has scared me

I called 111 today for a suspected burst fibroid. I feel dreadful with stomach pain, fainty feeling and heavy bleeding after 14 months of no periods. I was told at 12pm that I would have a call back from a clinician and Its 10.40pm and I’m still waiting.

Have they forgotten about me, don’t give a shit or do I just need to be patient

I’m moving and have just been told again that I will have to wait 3 weeks for an engineer to come and install WiFi at my new house. This has happened every time I have moved since 2014.

I don’t understand it - water, electricity, gas are all just there when you move in and then you pick who you want to pay for it.

For some reason, in year of our lord 2026 we still can’t manage that with the internet even though it is essential to modern living.

Then you try and talk to someone on the phone and they bore you to tears with internet jargon and what I want to say is - I do not know or care what the internet is or how it works, as far as I am concerned it may as well be magic, just make it happen!

I work from home, we would like to watch some television when we first move in. AIBU to think this should have been sorted out now and that internet should not need “installing” and a three week wait?

Hello MN
I’m in a really difficult position- and I genuinely don’t know what to do. Holding back some of the details as outing.
Earlier this year, was made redundant & friend’s partner offered me a work opportunity ‘til I found something else’ - I am grateful.
He is my manager - the pay is low, the staff are lovely (but overwhelmed and underpaid) and as I approach month 4, I’m starting to see so many red flags…
Basically, some of my work isn’t being signed off as it’s supposed to be (by my manager) meaning that I can’t email documents over to the partners. When I asked for these to be signed off asap, I was told not to ask. This has left partners frustrated & me looking unprofessional. Other red flags relating to H&S, safeguarding and certain individuals being treated differently to others are also very apparent.
Basic processes/policies & processes are so vague/unclear. Many of the new staff members need training which just isn’t being given (me included)
I genuinely don’t think I can carry on here, my probation is 6 months so just before Christmas.
I am looking/applying for other jobs (just started last week) but I am so desperate to leave - it’s pretty awkward as my friend (whose partner is my boss) keeps asking how it’s going and I have to see my manager in social situations occasionally but he’s essentially quite a crap, unsupportive manager, and the organisation is just…. Chaotic.
There is very little psychological safety as some of the staff who’ve been there years seem unwilling to help or answer questions and my manager just shrugs or looks annoyed when I (of other newer staff) ask questions.
What would you do?
Stick around or just give notice & hope I can find another job asap… ? AIBU to give notice based on all of the above & hope for the best with the job search? It’s so ridiculous!

I’ve been putting off posting this because I know how stepmothers get talked about on here but honestly I am at the end of my tether and DH is now not speaking to me so here goes.

I have a 2 year old DS with my husband and he has 3 boys from his previous marriage, 15, 13 and 8. They have recently come to live with us full time after living abroad with their mum for years. They used to see their dad mainly in the school holidays. I knew it would be a massive adjustment but I genuinely dont think DH realised how much would change having them here all the time.

Their mum has moved around a lot over the years, different countries, different schools etc. I am not saying she is a bad mum as I dont know the full story and I wasnt there, but from what the boys have told us they had pretty much unlimited screen time, could stay up watching things and eat in their rooms. Getting them off devices now is a battle every single day. DH says they have had enough upheaval and we need to be patient which I do understand but there still has to be some rules surely.

The older two are the worst for attitude. They have started at the local secondary and apparently think it is beneath them. DSS1 has said the other kids are thick and common and asked why he has to go to a school like this when he used to go to a much better one. DSS2 joins in with this sort of thing and they have both already been in trouble for being rude to teachers and disrupting lessons. We cannot afford private school for 3 children, not that I think they should get to look down on everyone else anyway.

At home they just seem to take whatever they want and expect everyone else to sort it out. Food, chargers, things out of my bag, it doesnt matter. If I say something I get told their dad lets them do it or that I am not their mum. DH says I need to stop turning everything into an argument and they are settling in.

The biggest issue at the moment is DSS3 and DS. The 8 year old is constantly snatching things from him. DS will be happily playing with a toy and DSS3 will just take it out of his hands, then laugh when he cries or run off with it. Yesterday he took his favourite little car while DS was playing with it and DS was absolutely sobbing. I told DSS3 to give it back and he started shouting that it was his house too and he could have what he wanted. I know he is only 8 but he is old enough to understand that you dont just grab things off a toddler and laugh at them.

DH came in and told me I was making a fuss over nothing. He said DS needs to learn to share and cannot expect to have everything to himself just because he is the baby. I said sharing is not the same as having things ripped out of your hands and that if DS was doing it to his brothers I would tell him off as well. DH said his boys have had a difficult childhood, have been dragged around different countries and missed having their dad around every day and I should have a bit more compassion.

I do have compassion. I know they have been through a lot and I am not expecting them to suddenly be perfectly behaved children. But apparently every single thing they do is because of their childhood and if I dare say anything I am the wicked stepmother. They can be really nasty to each other as well, pushing and hitting when they get wound up, and DH just calls it being boisterous boys. I have asked him what happens when school starts calling every week or one of them seriously hurts DS and he says I am being dramatic.

There is also a language thing because they have lived in different countries and sometimes switch languages between themselves. I dont mind that at all and I know they have had to adapt to different places, but sometimes DH uses that as another reason why I shouldnt question anything they do. I feel like I am expected to accept absolutely everything because their lives have been unsettled.

After yesterday I said to DH that he needs to actually parent them instead of defending everything they do. He said I knew he had children when I married him and that DS is needs to understand sharing anyway so why am I making it an issue. He has barely spoken to me since.

I dont want his boys sent away or made to feel unwanted, I really dont. But I am starting to dread being at home when they are all here and I feel awful even typing that. Am I being unreasonable to expect some basic manners and boundaries or do I need to accept that this is just how boys are and give them more time? And is DH right that our 2 year old needs to learn to share even when his brothers are taking things off him?

I’ve always loved the name Blair for a girl, people closest to me aren’t a fan and now it’s making me second guess using it at all.
I was planning on using Olivia Blair or Georgia Blair.
Other names I like are: Victoria, Vienna, Sloane, and Margot.

Hello,

I was looking for advice on what brands etc to buy for my daughter's upcoming school ski trip. We aren't a family who have a lot of money and weve made sacrifices for her to go on the trip so any suggestions that are budget friendly but she won't feel like the odd one out put that do the job and keep her warm would be much appreciated. I feel overwhelmed and out of my comfort zone with it all. TIA
Here is the list I've been sent:
Ski Jacket – wear on the journey x1
Sallopettes (ski trouses) x1
Thermal top x 3-5
Thermal bottoms x 3-5
Tshirts for skiing x 5
Ski Socks x 5
Ski Goggles x1
Ski Gloves x1
Quarter zips/fleeces/jumpers for under ski jack x3
Neck warmers

With regards to your parents, adult siblings, and in-laws etc., are you a ‘gifts for everyone’ or a ‘secret Santa’ family?

I don’t believe that ‘Christmas is for children’. I think Christmas is for everyone (who wants it). I enjoy lots about Christmas including buying and receiving gifts between my adult relatives but I do recognise it is getting harder - families grow, the list gets longer, many people already have the things they actually want, some people are hard to buy for, money doesnt seems to stretch so far these days.

A few years ago I suggested to my mum, siblings and their partners, shall we switch to a secret Santa for the adults. I am starting to regret that now though as after a few years of this secret Santa exchange it was suggested that we scrap it and just buy for the children in the family. If that’s what everyone wants then of course I can’t insist on secret Santa or any other gift exchange. I just feel a bit deflated that I instigated something a few years ago that has now seemingly progressed to no gift exchanging for adults at all.

I am just trying to see the posisitive side of this which is that with the money we would have spent I can buy something a bit more substantial/ better quality for the nieces and nephews. And my husband and I will still exchange gifts so we still have that.

I wonder if anyone has seen anything Christmassy for my tea, coffee and sugar? I have seen a couple of potentials in Primark but they aren’t quite right and are more biscuit jar size than for tea bags etc. Thanks.

Conversation about drunk shopping and I mentioned that I once ordered racing sprouts and a sudoku rubiks cube just before Xmas about 18 years ago!

DD is adamant that no one does stuff like that. I need you to help me prove her wrong!

Possibly very much overthinking here, but it is my daughters birthday on Wednesday (turning 9) her class normally take a sweet treat/cake in on on their birthdays, this is fine with the parents and no one has allergies (know this from several parties). I love baking but never really do it much, last year I made and took in some cupcakes, I'm a home baker but can turn out a decent cupcake, planning to do it this year again but my husband has said that I shouldn't, that it is very much attention seeking and very 'look at me" This isn't my intention at all, I have most of the ingrediants in the cupboard all ready, it'll only cost me about £4 to make 36 buns, I only have to buy the butter and some icing sugar. I have boxes already that I bought in bulk from Temu and tbh I just like baking. But I would hate to be talked about by any of the mum's, or for people to think that I'm attempting to show off, parents would see them as they are normally given out last thing. Should I just buy some shop bought cake or buns, which would cost me more money and not be as nice? I'm inclined to think that my husband is been harsh, they will look nice when done, but I reckon people will still be able to tell that they are homemade and that I haven't spent loads of money buying them. Thanks.

My want list-(some I have already)

Green cargo pants
Funnel neck bomber type jacket
Rugby polo long sleeve
Baseball long sleeve
Striped long sleeve-preferably blue & brown
Ballet flats
Adidas trainers
Adidas track pants
Checked oversized shirts
Denim shirt

Are you buying/wearing these?

What are you buying/wearing?

Just watched an episode of this where he frequently handled raw beef & then went on to dip his fingers in bowls of salt, pepper, open cupboards, the fridge, without washing his hands. I think he used the same chopping board to cut the cooked steak that he’d previously flopped the uncooked meat around on. He just about made it in 20 minutes by shaving off some time by not washing his hands. I’m not particularly fastidious but seems a bit unsanitary.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c5398n821rlko

14 year old boy stalked and stabbed a girl who refused to date him, however was deemed not dangerous by a judge and given a restraining order. What goes through these judge's minds? Unbelievable.

I honestly dont know what to do with this and feel a bit stupid even typing it out. ive got 2 boys, 17 and 3, different dads, and ive just found out im pregnant again.

Me and my eldest’s dad split up when our son was 10. We just werent working as a couple anymore but we’ve always got on really well since. He’s a brilliant dad and we’ve never had the sort of messy breakup where you hate each other and argue over everything. We still help each other out and speak most days.

My youngest’s dad was abusive and that relationship was a whole different thing. It’s over now but it was a horrible time and my eldest’s dad honestly helped me so much through it. He’d have my eldest extra, bring shopping round, help me sort things out when I was struggling. He never made me feel like I owed him anything for it either. I know some people think our relationship is weird but we’ve always just been close.

Anyway my eldest had been away and his dad came round. We had a couple of drinks and ended up sat talking for hours like we used to. One thing led to another and we slept together. It wasnt planned and we havent really spoken about it properly since. We’ve both been acting fairly normal but I feel like there’s this massive thing sitting between us now.

I did a test yesterday because my period was late and its positive. Ive done another one this morning and thats positive too. I actually feel sick thinking about telling him. I know he’s a good dad and wouldnt abandon a child but I have no idea what he’d think about having another baby with me after all this time.

The thing is I dont even know how I feel about him now. I thought we were just friends and I definitely wasnt planning on getting pregnant again. But part of me keeps thinking about whether we could have worked if we’d tried again years ago. Then I feel daft because we’ve both had other relationships and we’ve been apart for ages.

I havent told anyone yet, not even him. I dont want to mess up the friendship we’ve got because he’s been one of the few people I can properly rely on. But I cant exactly keep this to myself for long.

Would you tell him straight away? And am I being ridiculous for wondering if this could turn into something more, or am I getting ahead of myself completely?

I’ve been invited as a plus one to support a friend at an event. The whole plan was sharing their room, in the same bed. I don’t think they are being charged for the room as it’s a whole venue hire. She’s just asked me to pay, I thought I was a guest but actually I’m paying to be there. The travel, gift and new outfit are other costs I’m incurring. The amount is equivalent to staying in a hotel for two nights but Im pretty sure she’s pocketing the money which feels like shes making money from me. Is she a cf? Should I try to pay the host directly? Should I write it off as I’ll be fed and have a shared bed. It’s not the cost really it’s the feeling I’m being taken from.

This is intended as a friendly, kind, safe, warm and fuzzy place for people to share discounts, bargains and Christmas gift ideas both online and IRL. Please note the tone and intention of the thread and join with spirit as generous as DC helping themselves to the Christmas chocolate celebrations 😊 .

Here’s some useful information about how to save the thread or a specific post so you don’t need to have a message to check in for every thread so you have the thread saved:

To watch the thread - click on the little bell that has ‘watch’ under my first message. This adds the whole thread to your ‘watched threads’

You can also bookmark a specific post by clicking on the ‘bookmark’ under the specific post. This saves your exact place in a thread but doesn’t alert you to new replies.

If you have any referral links or codes, please share them on the referral thread https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/christmas/5577375-bargain-referrals-thread

A reminder that we don't use affiliated links on here please

If there’s anything you think would be useful or good to include in this post then please do tag or DM @reastie (the traditional thread starter!) and let them know.

About 4 months ago quite a few things seemed to start to happen to my physically at once. They have continued without any break to varying degree ever since.

Doctors seem disinterested/have no clue and its really starting to get me down as well as being a bit of a worry!
So far I have had swabs to confirm thrush, a round of antibiotics for the cough which made not differnece and chest xray which was clear.

Persistent cough - varying from tickly, barking, phlegm, all night, all day, sometimes loss of voice, sometimes sore throat. Its pretty bad and very embarrassing and irritating as its noisy and constant

Mouth sensations - always a greasy kind of film inside my mouth. Like I've just eaten a mouthful of clotted cream. Also dry at the same time. Odd taste metallic

Constant (swab confirmed) thrush - Not able to control even with back to back over the counter treatments, lower pelvic tummy ache, sore internally. No history of thrush previously

Pains in legs, extremely painful calf cramping during the night

I just feel like someting has taken over me and I can't shift it.
Any ideas???

This week, my manager and a friend who goes to my exercise class are ill with Covid. I don't know if they've tested, but they've both said they have it. However one is still coming into the office and the other still attending the exercise class. AIBU or overreacting here... but why don't they stay home until clear? Even if 'feeling 95% better' wouldn't you wait until potentially exposing others? I can't help but feel mad at them both for being so selfish. I often look after an elderly relative and can't risk passing Covid on to her as she is frail. I get life can't be on pause forever but my manager can get paid sick leave and my friend can miss a class, it isn't like there's anything at stake...