In a petrol station buying a coffee at nine thirty in the morning. Looking down realised that the young woman behind me was wearing obvious pyjamas. And slippers. Then looking up to see a fluffy cream dressing gown.

I can't decide if it matters. I was brought up to believe that it shows a complete lack of self respect, and a lack of respect for anyone else, but does it, these days?

YABU. Perfectly normal wear for filling up your car.

YANBU. What is the world coming to that anyone thinks that's reasonable.

Hope I'm not tempting fate with that thread title
This is intended as a friendly, kind, safe, warm and fuzzy place for people to share discounts, bargains and Christmas gift ideas both online and IRL. Please note the tone and intention of the thread and join with spirit as generous as DC helping themselves to the Christmas chocolate celebrations .

Here’s some useful information about how to save the thread or a specific post so you don’t need to have a message to check in for every thread so you have the thread saved:

To watch the thread - click on the little bell that has ‘watch’ under my first message. This adds the whole thread to your ‘watched threads’

You can also bookmark a specific post by clicking on the ‘bookmark’ under the specific post. This saves your exact place in a thread but doesn’t alert you to new replies.

If you have any referral links or codes, please share them on the referral thread https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/christmas/5577375-bargain-referrals-thread

A reminder that we don't use affiliated links on here please (I think that's the term, let me know if I got that wrong).

If there’s anything you think would be useful or good to include in this post then please do tag me and let me know here (or DM me).

You are all wonderful and I’m now going back to my mince pie and stollen (never too early!).

Hello all, I know this is sort of a sex question and that we have a sex board. However I'm hoping for sensible answers as I'm really worried.

Basically last Saturday DP and I had sex. He had been drinking so it went on far longer than it should have and it hurt. Sorry for tmi but he was inserting fingers into me (vaginally and anal) and it was quite rough. The anal hurt quite a bit as there was no lubrication and he kept going. However I let it happen, so I'm not blaming him for this.
The next day my bum was very sore and going to the toilet really hurt. We had sex again and my vagina was also sore and my cervix felt very sore.

From then on I was really sore. I felt really swollen down below and felt a lot of pressure. Sitting down actually hurt and I haven't really been able to wipe myself since. I think I also got thrush as I had the symptoms (I get it quite regularly) and had that sore paper cut feeling. I did take a fluconazole tablet on Thursday.

So all week it's been really sore to even sit down, feel like paper cuts everywhere.

Anyway I decided to try and take some photos because I can't actually see the area. All around my anal area I have redness (a good few cms away from actual anus as well as my perinium and anus looking swollen). I've also got what looks like some bits of broken skin. However what has worried me is that I have some spots/potential blisters? I can't really tell properly from the photo. I'm terrified I may have herpes. They aren't the obvious typical appearance but I have some small circle shaped bits of broken skin. I can also see some red bits on the swollen areas of anus but can't tell if it's a cut or tear or potential spot.

I obviously know nobody can diagnose me via the internet but wondering if anyone has any experience of this. Did you have similar symptoms after vigourous sex? Have you had herpes? I only looked on Thursday and couldn't get to the drs Fri. I will contact them tomorrow, however I'm very very nervous about what it'll mean and how it'll impact my relationship.

For context, been with my partner 10 years and completely faithful. I've never had herpes and not has he- well never seen any and he's not said he has. I know it can remain dormant etc etc but how likely is this to actually be the case and isn't it more likely he's just cheated?

Come and join me if you're starting to wonder when the food slots will go live. 👀

Last year the slots were released on Tuesday 23rd September, so they should be coming soon ...

I'm also here for any M&S Xmas food chat. The chocolate pine cones made me very happy last year. 🌲

Mooshie Moments - Great little app for parents with kids 6months to 4 years. Lots of fun activities for bonding, learning and challenging situations. They are offering lifetime deal for £39.99. (Only on App Store at the moment)

Blindness is a serious disability. Not some word to be chucked around for marketing attention. There are a lot of other words that could have been used - mystery box, suprise box.

AIBU to think that the majority of people on MN seem to be high earners? As a guide, income over £60k? Most people I know in real life earn closer to average wage which I think is around £35k

Me and my husband are both 35. We've been married for 6 years and have two children, and I'm currently pregnant with our third.

Around a year ago, my dad suddenly became very ill and was hospitalised for about a month. His insurance covered roughly 45% of the costs, but the remaining amount was still quite large.

I have an older brother and a younger sister. They're both married with children and have decent jobs, but me and my husband are higher earners, so we were in a position to contribute more. My siblings did contribute as well, but I paid the biggest share of the remaining hospital bills.

Thankfully, my dad recovered. After he left hospital, my mum and dad stayed with us for around 6 months because my dad needed regular hospital visits and support. Again, I covered most of the expenses, although my brother and sister also contributed.

For the last 4–5 months, though, I've noticed my MIL becoming quite cold towards me. Sometimes she seems to start arguments with me over things that don't really make sense. My SIL, who is my husband's younger sister, has also been distant. In June, she hosted a party and didn't invite either me or my husband.

About three weeks ago, we all stayed at my in-laws' house for 2–3 days. My MIL was clearly angry and eventually told me that I had "hijacked" her son and that we weren't really family anymore. She said I didn't consider them family and asked whether we ever thought about her health or what she wanted, because apparently we've spent so much money taking care of my family instead.

Honestly, that really hurt me.

She also said that my husband only has one sister, yet despite us earning well, we have never really helped her. I don't think that's entirely fair. My SIL and her husband both earn enough to live comfortably, and we do care about them. We regularly take her children shopping with ours, usually around once a month, and we send them gifts too. If they ever genuinely had a financial problem, of course we would help.

My MIL was crying and very angry when she said all this. My SIL was sitting there as well but didn't say anything.

The thing is, we were actually planning to tell them that I'm pregnant. The next day, we told them.

Nobody really reacted. Nobody congratulated us or even seemed happy. Me and my husband were both really upset.

Now it's been three weeks and neither my MIL nor SIL has called or messaged us. I invited my SIL and her family over this weekend, but she didn't answer my calls and didn't come.

My husband is really sad about the whole situation, and honestly, so am I. I don't understand what we've done that is so terrible. Yes, I helped my parents when my dad was seriously ill, and yes, I contributed more because I was able to. But does that mean I'm supposed to ignore my parents because my husband has a family too?

Hi 👋
Wondering what’s going to replace this viral bag? (Handbag style: not rucksack)
I have a couple; they are bloody brilliant but are they becoming dated?
I love that I can stick them in the wash and the cross body means I don’t have to make an effort to keep it on my shoulder like I do with a tote or a shoulder bag.
So those who are ‘on trend’ …. What’s next after the Uniqlo one ? I suppose my style is quite Arket/ Uniqlo and I would consider leather but I don’t like anything twee or blingy…… and I hate those camera bags that say RIVER ISLAND or MICHAEL KORS down the strap.

Has anyone got a 46mm or a 49mm? I am considering an Apple Watch but I do like quite a large faced watch. I cannot seem to get sizes of the actual watch case. I think the 46 and 49 is the display screen size. If you have one of these sizes and you have time, would you measure the actual full case size for me? Thanks very much.

Hi, I need to re vamp my wardrobe for autumn/winter and need some advice on how to incorporate a bit of 'edgy chic'. I'm early 40's, 5ft 2, size 14/16 and hour glass shape with big boobs and a bit of a mum tum. I have dark hair and olive skin, so tend to suit darker/autumn colours. I need a couple of staple bits, and some clothes I can also wear for work ( casual dress code). I already have some chunky boots and a grey leather jacket. I went shopping today in local town and it was totally uninspiring!

A new thread but the same themes, for those of us going through the ongoing challenges of supporting elderly DPs and relatives.
No judgement just support and virtual gins or tea on tap depending on your preferences.

Welcome back everyone to the new thread and hello to any newbies - join us now in time for the autumnal fun. 🍂💄🌂

As always when the Advent threads are running hot this thread is a little quieter but holiday releases, sets and edits are just around the corner. I'm super excited to be going to Sephoria London in October - I still can't believe I lucked out getting a ticket.

Some exciting homegrown news -after a few technical hiccups the FB group is now searchable (but private) MN Beauty Chat Swap/Trade/Sell.* *For those interested in the group we have a few joining rules you will be asked to abide by. Thank you @MrsBnow12 @CinderellaParker for your help.

Hi. I am looking for some perspective as I don't know wether I am right to be feeling quite sad or whether I need to get a grip and pull my big girls pants up.

DD 19 is going away to university this weekend and I have helped with getting her stuff together etc and we generally get on ok.

She is being assessed for autism too.

Thing is, she doesn't want me to see her new accommodation. AT ALL. We were meant to go and drop her off as a family and I was going to take a look at her halls. She said she wanted her dad to drop her off. Fair enough I thought. But, when I suggested that I will pop down at another time she said "why do you need to see it?" This turned into a bit of a row and quite frankly I'm pissed off.

How would you react/feel?

A couple of weeks ago it started getting a bit itchy and I thought it might have been using a different soap so I changed back to my usual but no change. Then a couple of days ago when I wiped there was something that looked like a long piece of dried grass. Then last night there was another one in the toilet, about 6 cm long, flat and about 5mm wide. I was convinced I had worms but googled and they are short and thin like pieces of thread.
Any ideas? I don’t have small children and I think I have pretty good hygiene, shower every day, regularly wash my hands, clean clothes, regularly wash sheets and towels, use dettol laundry sanitizer

Sorry to mention Christmas in September!

For Christmas, family come to us on alternating years, so one year my mum, brother, sister and their partners and kids come to us and the following year my dad and his partner come to us. I have done this for my dad only, I do not like his partner.

It would have been my dads turn this year but he died in June. Since he died, I have not visited his partner but she has called and text me a few times asking for favours and money as my dad left most of his estate to me and my siblings.

Yesterday I spoke to my aunt who is my dads sister and she has told me that my dads partner is still expecting to be invited for Christmas. I will not be having her here and need a nice but firm way, if that’s possible, of telling her that.

How would you word it?

What does the best dressed mum at your school gate wear? And where in the country are you?

Posting in the spirit of curiosity and inspiration!

My family, daughter, son in law, granddaughter, son and son's girlfriend attended a family wedding today. My 32 year old son has a history of drug addiction and alcohol abuse. I thought that the habitual weed smoking was finally behind him but it seems not. He got so drunk that even before the meal had been served, he was extremely drunk. He and his girlfriend left the table. I later discover his beautiful girlfriend crying outside and son was meandering all over the grounds outside the hotel arguing with anyone who would listen about politics. Girlfriend then tells me that he is back buying bitcoin in order to get weed vapes from America. He is broke and now owes her money. He has also been on Tinder and has been messaging women, looking at porn and talking to his ex girlfriends trying to get sympathy. I have urged girlfriend to leave him (together for three years) because he doesn't love her. He is addicted to weed, alcohol, porn and lying. He can barely hold down a job. My ex husband has washed his hands of him even though he is also an alcoholic who was emotionally abusive to me for years and had been having an affair with someone he works with for quite some time before we divorced. I suspected this but didn't know it for sure until today.
I am humiliated and furious and sick to my stomach about my son. I need to detach myself from him. He will threaten suicide and try to get money out of me. I have to tolerate him in my house tonight but would it be unreasonable if me to cut all contact.....at least temporarily and maybe for good?
My mother became an alcoholic in her 70s so I have been surrounded by addicts for over half my life.

DH is working from home and I was doing the housework, I walked upstairs as a jet went over the house so it was really loud. We don’t live on a flight path so it was unusual. I went into his office and he literally jumped out of his skin and pressed the X to hide a teams message on screen. I asked about the jet just as another message popped up on teams from a woman called Joanna - he scrabbled to press the X again as fast as possible and was as red as a beetroot. The message said “yeah, it looked better in my head hahaha”.

His whole demeanour had changed and looked hugely guilty and caught out. I asked who he was messaging to which he said no one, i again asked who it was and he said a man from work - i told him i saw it was from a woman called Joanna. I asked why he was acting like this and looking so guilty and lying - he said it’s because he knew how I’d react. I am well aware he works in a mixed team and have never taken any issue to him having work conversations with other women so this is completely gas lighting on his part. I told him this was bull shit and to bring up the messages, he refused. I asked again and he locked his screen then picked up his mobile - he has teams on his phone so I am assuming he was deleting the messages. I asked if that’s what he was doing and he dug his heels in and shouted that there is nothing going on. I told him to prove it by showing the messages, he repeatedly refused and told me no as he didn’t feel he should have to prove himself, and then wouldn’t make eye contact with me.

if that was me and the conversation was innocent, I’d have brought up the messages and demanded an apology. Everything about him screamed red flag during that situation.

ive left the house and am currently in my car in a park, shaking and feeling sick. There surely can’t be any other explanation for his reaction and refusal to prove himself innocent?

we’ve never been in a situation like this, I’ve not had any cause to doubt him in the past. Been together for 15years.

Breaking news in the Daily Mail. Duke and Duchess of Sussex's children 'removed from school after two days' mol.im/a/16130877 via https://dailym.ai/android

I do wonder if there is actually any school that will be able to meet their expectations in regard to security. I'm interested to see how it all plays out.

Okay, so myself, DH and baby were at a country park the other week. Baby was getting hungry so we sat ourselves down on a park bench and got some food out. A woman was walking with her family and dog and the dog must’ve smelt the food as it suddenly
comes bounding over and is jumping at baby (who is on DH knee) to get the food. We don’t know this dog and don’t know what it's capable of. I scream at the owner that we have a baby and to get her dog under control. At this point, she’s pretty far away and is taking her time to come over. My DH then kicks the dog to get it off them as it just will not stop. The woman wasn’t particularly apologetic and seemed shocked. Did we overreact?

Things seem very weighted against young people right now in terms of tax, student loans, and then there's the cost of mortgages and childcare. I know there are some older people struggling and I do feel sorry for them. But plenty are not and I think we just can't afford the triple lock at the moment. AIBU

I can't link Dawn French's latest rant, about Trump, but, if anyone else has seen it, do you find it funny. Or just feel very sorry for her?

So I don't think I'm bu, but I'm happy to be told otherwise.

So I have 3 kids. 13,10 and 8. Now I would happily leave the 13 and 10 year old alone for an hour, maybe more if we built up to it. They're very sensible, our neighbours are lovely and would help if there was a problem. But the 8 year old obviously is a different story. Shes too young to be left anyway, but shes a very young 8. I'd clock her mannerisms and personality at closer to a 5-6 year old than 8.

We have a lovely babysitter we've been using for years, now shes older her younger sister sometimes babysits too if shes busy. Great set up for us. But a friend questioned why we're hiring a babysitter when the eldest is 13 and could surely be looking after their younger siblings.

Am I wrong for thinking 13 is too young to babysit siblings for the odd evening? Or am I being overprotective somehow? I mean when the 13 year old is 16 and the youngest is 10/11 I'd happily leave them all. Or is that too old?

When you’re out at a restaurant and the bill comes, how common is it to expect the man to pay?

The thought of the woman whipping her card out and paying whilst the man sits back being ‘spoiled’ by his woman just feels wrong and awkward to me.

Is that completely outdated now? Does the man not feel uncomfortable being paid for by a woman? What do other people do?

Not looking for replies saying ‘we’re married so it’s all one pot’. Specifically asking when dating/long-term relationships where finances are still separate.