I've met a new lady and we get on so so well. I'm really falling for her. But there have been a few issues that I'm struggling with.

1. When we met she didn't reveal to me the guy she was hanging around with was her ex boyfriend. Which pissed me off although I had figured it out.

2. She's going through a messy divorce and has 2 kids that seem to dislike her.

3. She's going to share a house with her ex husband as they alternate living with the kids which I think is a weird set up at best. The kids stay in the family home and the parents will kinda swap in and out weekly..

4. She's got this guy she has as a friend they screwed a "long time ago" but still sees her from time to time..

I can't help but think this is all too much baggage. It's killing me softly already..am I being too sensitive?

Good morning, I would really appreciate some insight please.
(OMG I am actually quite amazed at what I've written as seeing it in black and white does indeed sound quite bad?!)

Long story short. I am female, 40, he is male, 48. We have been together 8 months.
Partner has been very close to his female friend past 5 years (he has known her since they were 7, but lost touch after he moved away, but he moved back to his hometown a few years back).

1. She is very cuddly and flirtatious with him. Facebook photos of them look like boyfriend / girlfriend, or husband / wife (not just me who thinks this), such as a photo of them together on the beach, very close, bikini on.
2. She is married, but cheated on her husband previously with another man. My partner is friends with both she and her husband.
3. Her husband took her back, and my partner went to the house of the guy she was cheating on her husband with, to collect her belongings, and take them back to her house.
4. My partner admits that her husband feels left out when she and my partner are together.
5. His female friend has a photograph of her and her husband, and my partner, with his arm around her, as her main facebook page photo.
6. People have commented before asking if there is anything going on between she and my partner, as she cuddled into him on the bus sleeping apparently when they were coming home from a night out.
7. Recently when he went for lunch with her, she told him to "shut up, change the subject from talking about (me), you like her too much".
8. Before meeting me, he went on holiday with his male friend, this female friend (without her husband), and they all shared a 2 bedroom apartment. The guy she was having the affair with came out on the holiday for a few days too.
9. His female friend borrows money off him sometimes as she has a recreational drug habit at the weekends sometimes.
10. He says they have a brother / sister type relationship? I don't know any brothers and sisters who would be so cuddly and flirty?
11. My partner knows I'm a bit uneasy about his friendship with her. He went to her house for a meal a few weeks ago, her husband was there, her friend, and her adult daughter were there too apparently. I only know this because he had a few drinks and it slipped out.
12. On Sunday, we were supposed to be spending the day together. His female friend texted him saying oh I forgot to tell you, this person's birthday party is on at the pub today, you must come over, my husband is the dj too. My partner went to the party, and I went and did my own thing instead.
13. His friends smoke a lot of cannabis and the smell of it on his clothes makes me feel sick. His friends are nice people, but they drink a lot, and some of them take coke at the weekends. I like drinking wine, but very against drugs, due to personal circumstances and family and friends bad experiences with drugs.
14. I haven't actually met this female friend in person yet, although she has picked my partner up from my house once as there weren't any buses available that day for him to get home.
15. I don't want to meet her as I just know I will not get good vibes from her? He is not seeing her as much as he used to, but I don't want him to feel he can't tell me when he has been to visit her etc?
16. Does any of this make sense? I am not a jealous possessive maniac, but I feel that there are boundaries being blurred here, and it's disrespectful to her husband?
17. My partner does have family he is close too in his home town, so it's not like he moved back again, and didn't know anyone?
18. We also went for a weekend city break, and as soon as we arrived, he took a photo of a pub we walked past and sent it to his female friend, as they had recently been to a social event there together (without her husband).

What is everyone getting their 8 year old daughters this year?

I am finding the age for gifts quite difficult! Trying to avoid technology. Any ideas?

DH and I are looking to downsize.
We have seen the perfect cottage, not far from our DDs family (handy for childcare as it's currently taking us 40 mins each way).
We rang up to view it and the estate agent refused to let us as she said "An offer has been made and I'm sure it will be accepted".
DH and I wouldn't be making an offer, we would happily pay full asking price. Also we are lucky to have enough in savings to purchase, without selling our own home first although we obviously would at some point.
I feel for the vendors as much as ourselves, would it be unreasonable to push a note through their letterbox informing them what's going on?
It's been two weeks since the estate agent last rebuffed us and the house is still on the market.

I wanted to pose a question and see what your thoughts are on this.
If you were taking you child out trick or treating today, would you march into a small independent sweet/ice cream shop that you have never been into before and demand that the owner high fives your child and then gives your child free sweets? And then when the owner explains they are a small business and giving sweets away for free isn’t a very affordable thing for a small business to do, would you get angry and berate the owner for not giving sweets to your child for free?
I am the small business and margins are very tight. I can’t afford to give away sweets to every child who comes in dressed up at Halloween.
This happened today and the parent made me feel awful for not handing out free stuff. Would they approach Tesco and ask the same? Would they give away things from their work or business for free if I marched up to them dressed as a pumpkin?
What do you think?

Hi all. I'm just caretaking until Reastie returns, but here's our new thread. Please do use up the old one first though.

This is intended as a friendly, kind, safe, warm and fuzzy place for people to share discounts, bargains and Christmas gift ideas both online and IRL. Please note the tone and intention of the thread and join with spirit as generous as DC helping themselves to the Christmas chocolate celebrations

Here’s some useful information about how to save the thread or a specific post so you don’t need to have a message to check in for every thread so you have the thread saved:

To watch the thread - click on the little bell that has ‘watch’ under my first message. This adds the whole thread to your ‘watched threads’

You can also bookmark a specific post by clicking on the ‘bookmark’ under the specific post. This saves your exact place in a thread but doesn’t alert you to new replies.

If you have any referral links or codes, please share them on the referral thread here:

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/christmas/5444936-bargain-referrals-thread-8

A reminder that we don't use affiliated links on here please

🎄 Emoji to copy if required for posting bargains as some agree this makes deals easier to spot. (or post in bold)

DBIL lives with my DHs mum. Hes in his 30s. My DH had to drop off a prescription for his mum today, but she was out. DBILs bedroom is on the ground floor by the living room. Me and DH got there and DH knocked on his door, was talking in his room, and then went in and closed the bedroom door for around 10 minutes. I was standing awkwardly in the living room and just sat down waiting for DH. When DH came out he told me to come outside with them and have a drink (me and DH don’t drink so unsure why I would!).

DBIL didn’t say one word to me. I felt like I’d be waiting around and didn’t actually want to sit with them, so I asked for the car keys and said I’ll wait in the car (we had said we were popping in). DH got irate and said he wouldn’t bother so he got in the car too.

Aibu to think that this is really rude behaviour from two grown men? Surely you acknowledge your wife is just sitting around waiting for you?

All this talk of reparations from one of the world’s richest men!!!! I don’t think the British taxpayer should stump up, but I do think the King could sell a palace and fund permanently a huge amazing high school for the Caribbean….thoughts?

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cqglwjdgg045o

The celebrity has lost his bid for a permanent injunction to prevent The Guardian and ITN from publishing allegations that he abused his status to attempt or attempt to engage in “inappropriate sexual activities with a large number of girls and young women.”

There remains a temporary injunction preventing him from being named in order to allow an appeal against the judgement.

Sorry im sure there are hundreds of posts about this but I used Search and couldn't find what I was lookimg for.

I'm not really looking for a conspiracy theory type discussion about whether something terrible is coming. I'm trying to keep really calm and thinking - we don't really know either way. But it seems sensible, on balance, that if lots of governments across the world are telling people to have a bit of a stash in plus some things like torches, radios etc - in the interest of my family I probably should. If I don't need it, hurray, and if whatever happens is too awful for a 1 week supply then...well, canned food will probably be the least of our worries.

SO my AIBU is just that I'm totally overwhelmed with what to get? I want to get a one off bulk shop really, with budget of max about £150. Would rather spend less because it's nearly Christmas and could do with that money elsewhere! We are a family of 2 adults, 2 teenagers. What would we need for 1 week that's vaguely palatable and wouldn't require either water or electricity to cook?? We do have an old school bbq so I guess if I get some bags of charcoal, could heat things on that if it isn't raining outside. Also - what can I get that will genuinely keep for a really long time as I stocked up for Covid and there was soooo much wastage; really don't want that situation again where everything just gets thrown out.

I've looked on the Preppers section but that all seems quite hardcore and survivalist! What does the absolute average Joe family buy who isn't prepping for the apocalypse, realistically won't survive a worst case scenario, but wants to be prepared if there are 1 week of power cuts etc? Specific brands, foods, recipes hugely appreciated!

Hi all,

I’ve noticed being away on holiday my son doesn’t really respond to his name, occasionally he will but not all the time id say 2/10 times. He also doesn’t crawl yet but I’ve always put this down to him being abit bigger. He says dad and gives hand gestures waving and put his hands out to be picked up.

He also has a twin sister who seems to be ahead of him nearly walking and always replying to her name. They are 10 months.

should I be concerned? X

So we’ve been in this ‘Cost of Living’ crisis for a while now but has anyone else notice some insane price increases for everyday items more recently. Today a deodorant I have usually bought for £2.50 is priced at £4.75, toothpaste £7.00 and a pack of throat lozenges £6.50 pretty sure the last time I bought these they were around £4. Yes I know I can probably shop around and find these things on offer somewhere but they are just an example of items in a high st pharmacy that I would have previously purchased without a second thought. Don’t get me started on food costs even buying some sweets for trick or treating tonight had me wincing, it’s just really frightening and I don’t know where it will end or how people are just accepting it.

Please share some more of your Crazy Price stories so that we can see how mad this is all getting.

And it’s lovely - I think anyway.

https://www.johnlewis.com/content/christmas-advert

This is an old Hobbs skirt. With pencil skirt and smarter workwear coming back, I kind of like it but I also wonder if this will become “what was I thinking” item… https://ebay.io/m/gfSofJ

I am being deliberately vague here, for privacy reasons.

Earlier in the year, we booked a festive day-out event with relatives. We all agreed on the date, so DH and I booked and paid. We offered to pay, so that's fine. However over the weekend, the relatives have been invited to an extra event, which overlaps with the original event. We would need to leave the day-out just after lunch, missing half of the things we wanted to see/do, if we were going to get the relatives back in time for event 2.

I've told them we can't make it work logistically, so the ball is in their court. They are still deliberating and I'm really hurt and cross. I think this is really rude - if you have plans, then you stick to them, even if you get a better offer?

Just that really...

Twas the night before the US Midterms...

Continuation of the AIBU to think my friend is overdoing emergency stockpiling thread for discussion about the government advice to stockpile for an imminent emergency and what the heck that emergency might actually be.

Spoiler: it's more of a perfect storm of lots of factors coming together to potentially form one great clusterfuck from economic woes, global energy shortages (mainly diesel), potential food shortages, war and madmen to crazy weather patterns rather than a clear identifiable singular thread.
This is a practical thread and a bit of a handhold thread to make sense of events and how they may affect you. This is not an end of the world thread.

Remember an emergency can range from a temporary unexpected event to a much longer crisis but the underlying principles generally stay the same.

This is the official government information and advice, if you want further details on what the actual recommendation are, here is the newest campaign blurb
https://beready.campaign.gov.uk/

Not going to do a status report this time, mainly because it's all about What Trump Does Next right now.

Previous threads
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5576816-aibu-to-think-my-friend-is-overdoing-emergency-stockpiling?page=1

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/5585259-crisis-what-crisis-is-my-friend-over-doing-the-stockpiling-and-am-i-too-continuation-thread-2?page=1

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/5591677-crisis-what-crisis-the-one-you-start-to-wish-youd-stockpiled-like-your-crazy-friend-continuation-thread-3?page=1

My children aged 5 and 3 adore their little cousin who is 10 months.
They love to hug her, hold onto the pram, tickle her. Which most of the time she seems to love.
However I can tell it’s really grating on her parents and I don’t know how to get my children to leave her alone without somehow damaging their relationship?
I never got to see my cousins growing up so I want them to foster a positive cousin relationship so am worried about ruining anything.

I am always so tired...two dc...i work part time, house is always a mess, laundry always in a pile.

Neighbour - 2 dc, full time work in a good career, house is fucking spotless (I have been in at random times multiple times (they do not have a cleaner), kids in multiple activities, dad is a coach for one of the activities (he also works full time).
I thought fair enough that's a lot but fair play to them.

My dc joined a new activity yesterday eve and I bumped into neighbour in the corridor of the building, made our pleasantries, turned out her dc do this activity too and she is the secretary of the club and was at a meeting.

How do they do it?? why do they have so much time? where am i going wrong??

I left my home town about 15 years ago. I was determined I wouldn’t lose touch with people or let things drift, and indeed, I’m still in regular contact with my two closest friends from home.

I had continued to see one of my friends pretty regularly when I went to visit my parents. It was usually me making the effort to organise it, but I figured that was part and parcel of my being the one who’d moved, and she was always keen to come out. This wasn’t a couple of token meet-ups before things tailed off; we were in contact for years.

Anyway, a few years ago now I took a trip with her and another friend - and frankly, she was a pain. She upset our other friend, and everything had to be done her way. Nothing seemed to make her happy. If we were doing a lot of sightseeing, she wanted to know why we couldn’t just “chill”. Yet the day after we had a long lunch and a couple of drinks after, and she complained we hadn’t done enough with the day. I felt like I needed a bit of a break, so perhaps wouldn’t meet up with her for a while.

After that, I started to realise it was always me doing the organising. As I say, I thought that was just down to logistics, but even though I wouldn’t have expected her to invite herself to visit me, I realise she’d never once even suggested coming to me; nor had she even enquired when I’d next be in town. She was happy to meet me if I said when I was coming and suggested what to do, but none of it was ever proactive.

I decided to conduct a bit of an experiment and not be the one to get in touch or plan anything. This was seven years ago. I saw her once after that trip. Once. And that was when a mutual friend invited us both to her birthday party. “Friend” acted just the same as ever; you’d never have known anything was wrong. But from that day to this, she’s never made any attempt to arrange a meet-up. For the first time since moving, I didn’t arrange anything that Christmas - and even though she knew I was in town, neither did she. And nothing ever since.

I’m only thinking about today as I saw a Facebook post from her for the first time in ages. We’ve never “fallen out”; at one stage we still sent birthday and Christmas messages. But now we’re both just names on a list.

Normally I love being proven right 😄 Who doesn’t like feeling vindicated? But in this case, I really wanted to be wrong. I didn’t want to think a friendship of nearly ten years could end just because I hadn’t messaged in a while. As much as I suspected things would tail off a bit if I didn’t organise anything, I was hoping that, at some point, I’d get a “So when are you next in town?” or “Any plans over Christmas?” message. But no. Leaving the effort up to her meant never seeing her again.

I don’t really know what I want from the thread; just venting really. Has anyone else had this happen to them?

Taking government advice on board, I bought some extra bits in my weekly shop yesterday.

One carton of long life full fat milk
Tin of pears
Tin of mandarins
2 x tins of curry
Tin of herring in tomato sauce

I've also ordered (before I needed to) extra bags of cat food as they are on special diets.

I'll buy a few more bits each time I go shopping.

What do you think so far? It's not much i know, but it's a start!

I may be wrong but I have a sneaky feeling books by David Walliams may not be as popular as they were once were for various reasons.

If Walliams books are quietly dropped from stores do you think publishing companies will look for a new Walliams or will there be more diverse literature than Roahl Dahl knock offs?

Its a long story which I will keep brief. I'm a 54 year old female.
I divorced my now ex-husband in 2009, We had 3 children together. At the time their ages were 15 (Boy) 12 (Girl) and 9 (Girl).
I have since been happily remarried since 2012.
For the last 9 years I have been estranged from my eldest daughter who is now 29. She refuses any contact with me. When I last saw her she was 20 and our meeting was very strained. She afterwards denied me any contact- this was based on the fact that a) she doesnt like my new husband and b) the fact that her younger sister, now 26, has (through her own choice) had no contact with her father since she was 9.

My eldest daughter now lives and works abroad and has done so for 9 years, and has no intention of returning to the UK / living back here, other than returning for short visits to visit her Father.
She also has had a very strained relationship with her younger sister and they barely have spoken over the last 5 years or so. But she has just messaged my youngest daughter (who lives with me) telling her she is pregnant.
She is apparently very happy which is good to hear but I am concerned about her and just want to be there for her during her pregnancy. But I made her a promise 9 years ago to not make contact and to respect her boundaries as she said that was important. Not only have I done this but I also have no way of contacting her as she has changed her number, blocked me from all social media and I dont have her address or email. So I have not made any contact with her for 9 years now. On discussing with my younger daughter she said that the older one would not have let her know about the pregnancy without her accepting that I am going to find out from her. So I am in two minds whether to contact her and send her a message using the phone number for her which my youngest daughter now has. I want to let her know I am thinking of her and wish her all the best for her pregnancy with no strings attached and no expectations - but if I contact her I feel I am breaking the boundary which I promised and have stuck to all this time. so I really dont know what to do.
I have a very fractured and extremely poor relationship with her Dad (whom she is still very close to) and short of asking him what to do or what she would want - which to be honest I dont want to do as would rather keep him out of it - then I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. I'd really appreciate peoples thoughts ideas etc.

I took a cab yesterday. I asked the driver to go a certain way (the cheapest) he didn't like it, but went. We got to a crossroads, when we were on top he asked which way, I didn't have time to answer so he went straight on. I said oh we are. Not going the cheapest way. He then turned and said don't threaten me, I can turn nasty when provoked. We then had an argument, I said drop me as soon as you can. I then had a 10 minute walk to my destination. I have a bad heart. And I am. 76. Not old these days but still not young. I'm. Not going do pretend that I am a sweet innocent. I then called him a f###### moron. But I was shaking, and he frightened me. What would you have done?
.

Welcome to Thread 14, calendar crew!

It looks like thread 13 won't even take us to Hallowe'en 👻 let alone to Black Friday

It's not only ACs, but the Christmas boxes and stockings are all coming out now too. Will we have any pennies left for Christmas presents or will our loved ones get a funsize selection box from their now very fragrant and beautiful relatives ??

Link for alllll the calendars via the wonderful MaryBD is here
https://beauty-detective.com/category/beauty-advent-calendars/

Even before Black Friday, there are discount codes here:
https://beauty-detective.com/beauty-advent-calendar-discount-codes-deals-2026/

Best of the makeup ACs here:
https://beauty-detective.com/best-makeup-advent-calendars-2026/

And best of the fragrance ACs here:
https://beauty-detective.com/best-fragrance-advent-calendars-2026/