We don’t have the biggest house and our very small dining table is in an alcove in the lounge, we pull it out for meals but there is 6 of us squeezed around this 4 seater table with 2 extra chairs.
Last year we decided to do a cold meat buffet instead and just have our plates on the sofa and it worked so we’ve decided to do the same again.
This year ds has a girlfriend and has asked if she can come for Christmas and I explained it will only be buffet but he’s unimpressed and says she’s from a posh family and would expect a traditional roast dinner.

Aibu to say we can’t cater for anyone else? We don’t mind if she wants to come for a while or even for some of the buffet but I will not be cooking a Christmas dinner.
Ds is concerned about her reaction to a non traditional roast.
We have met her once and I did put on a similar cold meats buffet back in the summer but she didn’t eat anything.

Hi all. Here's our new thread. Giving Rainbow a break and until Reastie returns. Sorry there wasn't a more inspiring title, didn't spot any comedy typos this time.

This is intended as a friendly, kind, safe, warm and fuzzy place for people to share discounts, bargains and Christmas gift ideas both online and IRL. Please note the tone and intention of the thread and join with spirit as generous as DC helping themselves to the Christmas chocolate celebrations

Here’s some useful information about how to save the thread or a specific post so you don’t need to have a message to check in for every thread so you have the thread saved:

To watch the thread - click on the little bell that has ‘watch’ under my first message. This adds the whole thread to your ‘watched threads’

You can also bookmark a specific post by clicking on the ‘bookmark’ under the specific post. This saves your exact place in a thread but doesn’t alert you to new replies.

If you have any referral links or codes, please share them on the referral thread here:

www.mumsnet.com/talk/christmas/5444936-bargain-referrals-thread-8

A reminder that we don't use affiliated links on here please

🎄 Emoji to copy if required for posting bargains as some agree this makes deals easier to spot. (or post in bold)

DH and I going to London this weekend Friday til Sunday for our wedding anniversary. Leaving 2 children 4 and 11 at home with grandparents.
i’m panicking we are going to get caught up in a terror attack or a bloody shooting after what’s happened in Krakow. My anxiety about going is worse at night I don’t know why, possible as I’m distracted during the day. Can anyone give me a slap of reality to calm me down please 🙈 we hardly ever get a break from the children so i’d love to go and enjoy it but i’m just freaking out.

I’m looking for some winter pyjamas. I feel the cold but I’m also sweaty at night, so I want something breathable.
long sleeved, NOT button through, and not a v-neck. I’m a size 18 due to bust, otherwise a 16.

i have three lovely pairs from
Baby Mori, but they’ve stopped doing adult pyjamas and mine are wearing out so I don’t know where to look!
I tried Next but had to send them back as not warm enough (thin cotton).

Ive had a guts full of the Brand and Trump cult members blindly buying everything these guys are selling. Why are people not questioning and fact checking before they make a complete arse of themselves on SM by posting conspiracy theory rubbish. But actually they’re being crushed under the rush of people agreeing with them and spouting even more ridiculous crap. Is Brand a rapist or has he been set up because he was close to bringing the elite down? Are you bloody killing me?

I don’t understand why people are so willing to believe awful things with no fact checking. Actually why people are so bloody racist, why people hero worship celebrities, why people are so ready to channel their hate into the next scandal providing it’s not directed at a middle aged white man too. And I’m depressed that yes I see these theories and in my head I think thicko. After I’ve fact checked it obvs. Yes and I know time to step
away from SM but I’ve indulged more lately as I was so desperate for the Midterms to go the Democrats way.

My DD is nearly 7. I am really stuck for present ideas. She is quite mature for her age, already has the usual scooters etc. She dances every free moment she gets, so doesn’t really play a lot with toys and has never been into Lego.

Please could you share your lists for dd’s aged 7?

First off, I'm no abuser apologist. The stuff being reported by women about these men is grim. Way outside what should be acceptable.

But also - the sort of thing being reported is beyond commonplace in areas (like show biz) full of high-status, powerful males. "Abuse of power" to attract minors just above the age of consent? Old as time. Grim, but almost universal across time and place for a sizeable subset of men.

And the system protects them. Savile, Rolf Harris, Stuart Hall, Gary Glitter, R Kelly, Weinstein. Cyril Smith. All the Epstein clients who remain seemingly untouchable. Andrew f-ing Windsor. Schofield. And that's just a tiny number of the famous ones off the top of my head. And it's mirrored all over the place - e.g., I've seen how a good proportion of rich bankers and "city" workers behave. Some senior male academics. The list goes on....

I guess that sometimes things just come out through chance factors. But generally speaking, I think there are so many instances where it seems powerful men are protected from consequence for so long that when someone do have to face the music (for what is clearly just commonplace), you have to wonder whether they've really pissed someone (even more powerful) off.

Did anyone hear the interview with Jo Brand on 'Off Air with Jane and Fi' (Podcast with Jane Garvey and Fi Glover).

Here's a link Jane Garvey interview with Jo Brand (this bit is at about 46 mins in)

I love Jo Brand but my heart really sank when she talked about ageing and said that she'd instructed her family that she didn't want to end up in an old people's home, so they would have to 'find some way round that'. I wonder what she had in mind.

My dad has dementia is not coping with his daily carers and is increasingly unsafe at home, so the burden of caring (and it is a burden) is increasingly falling onto me and my brother. It is a hugely stressful situation with impacts on our own health. We've thought long and hard about what is best for him and are starting conversations with him about moving him to a care home where he will get the care he needs, a steady routine, company, activities, stimulation etc. He's very lonely and isolated at home and it is awful to see him living his life like that. The one we have in mind looks wonderful, and specialises in dementia care.

I think it will be the best place for him but I still can't quite shake off the "don't put me in a home" stigma. I would love to ban the phrase "put him/her in a home" as it completely minimises the huge amount of planning, the tightrope of delicate negotiations with the EP and the emotional turmoil that are involved in such a seemingly simple decision. If only "putting someone in a home" was as easy as the phrase suggests.

So I found Jo Brand's comment very disheartening and it immediately triggered feelings of guilt and made me question myself again. Jane Garvey's father died recently and she has talked very movingly about this. She gave a very good defence of care homes, which i was very happy to hear.

My family (mum and her partner, my sister and half sister and their families) are due to visit and stay with us for a few days over Xmas. We live about 150 miles from them so we alternate spending Christmas in the two places, although we always go out for Christmas dinner. My half sister doesn’t always join us but does sometimes and is this year.

We all agreed on the restaurant for Christmas Day a few months ago and I booked it. My half sister is now saying she can’t afford it and wants us to host Xmas dinner at home. We really don’t want to do that as we look forward to going out for it, not cooking and just relaxing.

I’ve suggested that she comes before or after Xmas for a day or two instead but she thinks that’s unfair and doesn’t see why we can’t just cook dinner at home. My mum is siding with her and it’s causing friction. Are we being unreasonable to not want to change our plans and not want to have to cook dinner ourselves when we were looking forward to going out?

I returned to work today after a couple of weeks off, and I know it takes a few days to get back into the swing of things, but I’ve just thought, all day, that this is a completely pointless existence and I don’t know how I’m going to do it for the next 30 years.

I work in an office based role, and as part of the senior leadership team, earn around £80k per year. The role is not necessary. Without me, nobody would die, the world would carry on as it always has, even the organisation itself would be perfectly fine! I attend meetings where we talk about whether we should or shouldn’t do something. Nobody cares! Just do it or don’t, it makes no difference either way. I feel like I’m not the only one - 99% of office roles fit into this category.

But I’m stuck. I’d love to do something more meaningful, but I need the money. My husband is a carer for our son, and there are no jobs that I can think of that would scratch the itch for the same salary… so do I just suck it up for 30 years? It all seems so ridiculous, how did we as a civilisation end up here?

I’m not depressed or anything, I’m perfectly happy when I’m not at work, but does anyone else feel like this?

Hi everyone, I’m a qualified male laser hair removal practitioner planning to open a clinic for men and women in the UK. I’d appreciate your honest opinions:

● Would you feel comfortable booking with a male practitioner?

● Would it depend on the area, for example, underarms or legs versus bikini/Hollywood?

● Would meeting the practitioner first, female client reviews, a female chaperone or bringing a friend along to the appointment influence your decision? Or would you prefer a female practitioner regardless?

If you’ve had treatment with a male practitioner, how was your experience?

All honest answers are welcome. Thank you!

My children 11 & 13 have given me their Christmas lists which consist of 3D printer £300, laptop £400 and daughter wants a Lego set that’s £260 and a phone upgrade…when did life get so expensive! What’s everyone else’s children asking for / getting realistically?

Hello
When DD was little, MIL made her a lovely fillable advent calendar and each year, we’ve filled it with kind of themed bits (combined with chocolates)
Recently years, we’ve had
Kawaii stationery, keyrings, etc
Jewellery making
Gemstones
Crochet hooks and mini balls of yarn

I’m a bit stuck for this year. DD is 14, not into skincare, hair care or makeup. Loves craft stuff, anything Japanese, Peanuts, anime, Pokemon and stickers related to the above. Still into stationery, but more grown up stuff

Any suggestions gratefully received, thank you. And if anyone has any requests for similar, please do ask and hopefully someone will help ❤️

I’ve realised I like lots of little things to open rather than one big thing. What little things (from £5 to £30) are on your own Christmas wish list?

Please help me get some perspective on this situation.
i have a relative in hospital long term due to a spinal injury. They are unable to mobilise themselves without the use of a hoist so all care involves two members of staff helping. They can go to the toilet by being hoisted onto a shower chair which then is pushed over the toilet.
that is staff and health dependent. If they are bed bound due to either of the reasons, they go to the toilet in bed. I naively thought this meant a bedpan.
i have found out today that this is not the case. They are lay on a sheet (i assume an incontinence pad type) and left to open their bowels on there. They then need to wait for a free member of staff to come and clean them up, by which time I’m guessing all the skin is covered in poo.
my relative is really suffering with poor skin on the bottom. Surely the toilet situation makes this worse ? It is not pressure sores.
I am truly flabbergasted at how patients are expected to open their bowels without the use of a bedpan. It’s so unnatural and surely doubles the nursing staff workload in how long cleaning each patient takes. The unit is always short staffed so they can be times where they are lying in their own faeces for a significant amount of time.
this is a regional spinal unit where I would expect high quality nursing care to set standards for other places.
Medical professionals please can you give me your opinions ? I’m happy to be proved wrong as I don’t know much about this and am basing my thoughts on gut feelings. Thank you

Do they exist? Just something warmish, easy, plain, reasonably flattering.

Aged 70, short, size 14.

Thanks!

I am so bored of black trousers and a top for work and would love to feel a little bit trendier and more excited about what I wear. I am a teacher so on my feet most of the day. The temperature at work can vary wildly so layers are good. I often walk to work so heels are out. I would prefer not to wear black. I like the idea of wide leg trousers and tops, but also like wearing dresses and boots. Budget is more Sainsburys and Vinted than designer. Please send me some inspiration!

They have contacted ITN and the Guardian to make sure victims know how to report any criminal acts, bit far have received nothing.

If the victims don't make complaints, does that mean there will be no prosecution or can they act on the reporters' evidence?

My son comes home from school most days telling me children tell him he smells, he showers every single morning, clean uniform every morning, sprays deodorant/anti persistent, aftershave, body sprays, brushes teeth etc but he still tells me they say he smells, what is going on?? It’s making him super paranoid and he’s spending ages in the shower in the morning (making all my hot water run out) making himself late for school, spraying deodorant on himself for ages including his hair?! His bag?? Hes now being late for school as it’s taking so much time. Are they just being mean I don’t know what’s going? He doesn’t smell to me

https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/91646292#/?channel=RES_BUY
Please help! House has been up for sale for a few months. Reduced a few weeks ago. Prospective buyers have just pulled out.
Would welcome and comments please. Am feeling a bit raw about it all.
On threads like these I always think “Price”. But I have been advised that it’s a bit pointless reducing again right now as the market is so slow and we are getting very close to Christmas…

Going to a fabulous 40th birthday party in Malaga in December! Stunning venue, no expense spared.

I have no idea what to wear! There’s no dress code, but it will be a fabulous event, so anything goes!

I’m 48, 5ft 3 and a curvy size 10 - help!! I’d love a dress that makes me feel great, but don’t know where to start. Happy with bold colours and equally happy with black. Any idea? Have you seen anything with the wow factor?

thank you!! 🤩

I apologise for asking this here, but it seemed too trivial for the health boards. And I wanted some practical, but also some magical ideas.

I am coming home from overseas posting for Christmas again this year. I know any magic will be down to me.

Our household now includes someone in a motorised wheelchair. So we no longer have floor space for a proper tree. (And the other 2 years I came home, there was no tree as those at home didn’t do it - the year they came to me, we had one…and when I lived there, we always had one).

I will arrive late on Sunday before Christmas so have some time to prep. I don’t yet know when the wheelchair user will arrive (in rehab at present), nor how much mobility they will have regained. So I must plan for the limitations.

To DH raised eyebrows, I bought a 2.5 foot tree last week when I was home (as that is possibly unavailable closer to the time). And I will limit the decorations out of storage for it.

But are there any other ideas to make quite a hospital-like environment (sleeping in sitting room, hoist, peg feeding etc) into something more homey and normal and maybe even Christmas magical in some ways.

And any ideas for a 21st birthday celebration over the season in those circumstances are also really welcome.

I will be coming back here but work is manic so I won’t be watching constantly sorry. And thanks in advance to all the Christmas elves on here.

”I’m sorry, I’m not conducting myself in the manner I should be”

From my boyfriend. We are old, don’t live together, things been weird recently, just off

Me and my partner (not married) have been together for nearly 11 years and we have a 4 year old son.

Over the last year I have become increasingly unhappy in the relationship, we have tried a few times to make it work but the relation has gotten to the point where it is affecting our sons behavior as he is picking up on tension between us and I really do not want that for him. Yesterday I told my partner I no longer wanted to be together. I now feel like the most awful person in the world.
I am now faced with this daunting feeling of where the hell do I begin. We have our house on a joint mortgage. My biggest worry is if I move out I have no idea where I will go. My parents said I could move in with them but they are as toxic as my other half and the thought of being around them fills me with dread. I feel trapped and fear I will have to stay, no matter how much I don't want to I fear I have no other choice.

My first issue is I have been a stay at home mum the last 4 years, I have a part time zero hours contract job but barely get any hours, it would not be enough to cover bills. I have 20k of debt which I currently have a debt management plan on. My son has not long started school so do not know what to do about that. Just everything feels too much in my head right now. Me and my partner had joint universal credit mid year for a month as he lost his job, could I claim again even if we're living together?

I kind of feel as though I have a weight lifted off of my shoulder but also feel so much dread and anxiety, I feel so bad for my son, like I am going to destroy his world by breaking up the family unit.

Any advice would be much appreciated.

My daughters favourite band are touring in munich next year, we will be doing the London date and then heading for Munich.

I have never been before. Any tips for flying out of London, and where to stay in Munich, we are going to stay for 4 days to make a bit of a break out of it.

I think the arena is a little bit out of the city centre, is transport good etc ?

Sorry for the many many questions !