Hi all. I've got an 18mo DD who is just, a firecracker. She's always called a happy baby by everyone, and she is, but she's also absolutely savage and insane. Everything is a delight and a game and a reason to get overexcited.

Sometimes she gets handsy, other times she throws toys or pulls hair. With us, we don't mind so much but nursery have now put her on a behaviour plan! I never heard of such a thing.

When she started to be like this around 12-14mo we used to firmly tell her not to, remove her from the situation or toy or person, but not over labour the point so as not to give her attention over it. She loves the attention. We also got given a sticker chart and a set of laminated cards with red stop signs or happy or sad faces etc to help her identify her feelings or to know when to stop.

I know all toddlers can get this way but my older DD who's now 6 was never this bad. She's now on a behaviour plan where the nursery tries to track any triggers or particular people but they're not spotting any pattern. They ring us almost daily now with something she's done, and mostly she's not hurting other kids though there have been a couple of occasions of pushing or pulling. She knows how to say sorry and does it well, so understands the concepts of no or kind hands. But the thing is, for her, it's never a tantrum or upset or malicious behaviour it's the opposite- she's just happy and overexcited and misplaces the energy. She doesn't realise when she could hurt someone, she just has this thrilled look in her eye like it's all play.

At this point I genuinely feel like my little happy girl might be the first ever baby to get expelled from a nursery! I half feel indignant because, why are the nursery staff ringing me to check if I've been using the sticker chart properly when I'm at work... she's literally a 1 year old baby who can't speak yet. She's just about starting to pick up single words now. On the other hand, I know she's more demanding than my first and handsy and I'm starting to feel like a bad mum. But I literally don't know what else I can do? If I tell her off even more she just wiggles away or gets happier from the attention and eye contact. She's kind of feral but we love it and think it's just her baby nature and will grow out of it. But is there something I'm missing? Could we be trying something else? Any advice much appreciated! At this daily rate I'm sure they're going to tell us they can't handle her and we need to leave soon!

I’ve got my eye on their Milan cabin bag for some upcoming trips and just to have as a weekend bag. Probably in cherry red or black.

Just wondering if anyone’s used them and if they hold up well?

https://katieloxton.com/milan-cabin-bag-in-cherry-klb4289

There are about 2 places in our house where we all get an overwhelming smell of weed! It's just bizarre. Downstairs hallway and toilet. It is definitely not cannabis and it's not neighbours either - terraced house but our neighbours are in their 70s and def not smokers.

Is there anything else that smells like weed that we should be exploring? Under floorboards etc. Thanks

I have a friend and her behaviour in my opinion is kind of odd. Maybe it’s just me so what do you think?

We befriended and she is very super eager to help, like all the time and I don’t really need help. I mean i appreciate it and all and when needed I help but she is very eager. I have noticed over the years that she does this a lot. For example will try and friend someone who needs help, one person during a divorce. The lady did not want help and my friend felt very slighted when the other person didn’t really reach out and take her help. She is doing this again with another person. This person is vulnerable and my friend is in there offering all kinds of help. She goes from person to person who needs her most. It is very intense. I have backed off because it feels kind of weird and it’s always something. When there is no reason for her help to be needed she just seems to move on and get bored.

What is this if anything?

I sympathise with people who genuinely did not know but hiw many was this? And how would we know who to compensate even if the money were available?

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/waspi-latest-compensation-legal-challenge-pension-b2976014.html

I would like to take my daughter to Africa on holiday. For context, I am Black British and my husband is white. He does not like long-haul flights and is refusing to agree to the trip. His view is that because I visited South Africa four years ago, there is no need for us to travel to Africa again, and that we should choose a closer destination such as Europe instead.
My daughter, who is of mixed African heritage, has never been to Africa and is devastated that she is not being allowed to go.

My husband is threatening to divorce me, should I go ahead and book the holiday?

Just as it says in the title really.
Everything seemed fine until around 7 weeks ago. Then out of nowhere my husband accused me of being controlling, saying that over the course of our relationship, I had stopped him doing things he enjoyed and that I had said some hurtful things during arguments, which we were said in the heat of the
moment.
I held my hands up to saying hurtful things and said it came from a place where I felt as though there has been no consideration for me and as though my feelings aren’t worth anything. He often stays in bed on a morning while I sort out our kids who are all still young and I have said I have expectations that he helps out on a morning too. As for the controlling him, I have said to him over the years that sometimes it’d be nice if he would miss football for the odd weekend so we could do things as a family or have expressed my dislike at him coming in from a night out at 5am when we have children and other responsibilities.
He has mentioned occasions from 10+ years ago where I’ve asked him to forego football to spend the day with me after we’d been at work all week and I honestly don’t know how he can even remember specifics from that far back.
We both work full time and I work nights predominantly due to childcare.
Around 6 weeks ago he said he had hit his limit and wasn’t sure if he wanted to continue with our relationship. This threw me into a very dark place and I said I would take a step back in terms of losing my temper when I feel like I’m not being heard, which I’ve done, although he said this isn’t enough. I’m now on antidepressants, signed off sick from work and have a therapy appointment booked.
He has said he is done and is now looking for somewhere else to live but refuses to leave our home (rented not bought) until he has found somewhere. He has turned so cold towards me and acts like he hates me. I go from feeling devastated to angry and at this point feel as though I’m stuck in some awful limbo.
I’ve been in touch with a solicitor but was just hoping others who have been in the same boat could give me words of wisdom that things will feel less dark in time?
Thank you

About once every few months I need to take the train from London down to Penzance. It’s a minimum 5 hour train, often 6 hours.

I work full time and long hours, usually 9am-9pm. This means it’s pretty much impossible to get down to Cornwall for a proper weekend without travelling very early before work or in the evening after work. I used go get the sleeper train but this has genuinely tripled in price in the last few years.

I usually need to work on the train or I would need to use annual leave for the time off. There simply is not enough space or privacy to use a laptop for work in standard class. First is just a bigger seat and some tea and coffee really, but it makes all the difference.

DP thinks I’m precious about disliking standard class on the train. I’m v happy with standard for 2 hours or so, but can’t do it for 5 hours.

Someone I know has a daughter finishing uni. Known her many years but more as the wife of my husband's mate than as a close friend....but friendly over the years. Barely know the daughter at all.

I used to teach the daughter's degree subject and have marked dissertations. Out of the blue the mum texts and asks if I would read and comment on her diss before submission. I said 'yes, of course'. Asked her if daughter wanted SPAG etc or just content; daughter popped up in same conversation and said 'both please'.

So I did my best and took about 1.5 hrs marking it properly, with comments and ideas, and sent it back saying she was welcome to take on board any or all or none of what I'd said. Also sent a couple of learning resources on the bits she hadn't done so far.

And I got an immediate bounce-back with one word: 'thanks'. She couldn't have read it at that point or even opened the file. And then - nothing at all from mum or daughter.

AIBU to have at least expected something a bit more sincere for the time and effort I spent? I was happy to do it but it strikes me as quite rude not to say something like 'thanks for taking the time to do this, the comments were helpful' or 'thanks, I submitted on time' or even 'I couldn't use most of your stuff but thanks for trying'...?

I have a bit of a dilemma…one of my best friends is getting married. I’ve been with my boyfriend for about 9 months and he has met the wider group a few times. He isn’t really a drinker. He is going to the wedding, and was added to the group chat for the stag do (weekend away in UK, somewhere renowned for drinking) to see if he wanted to go.

He sent a polite message to decline and explained he’s not a big drinker so best he gives it a miss.

The best man who is organising it is the long term partner of another of my friends. My boyfriend has shown me his reply which was to say ‘No issue if you don’t drink, you can still enjoy a few strippers and a brass’. He again made his excuses and left the group.

He thinks this was said jokingly. But I’ve heard enough stories about these trips to know what can go on.

I don’t know whether to mention to my friend or to keep out of it.

YABU - don’t say anything, mind your own business

YANBU - you should relay what was said to your friend

We have booked a holiday today for 12 days time. Completely out of the blue as we were planning to move but the right house hasn't come up and so we thought we would treat ourselves to some sun instead.

I am absolutely not bikini body ready! I am carrying 3kg of extra weight (mostly round my middle) and am pale and dry skinned.

I will immediately hit the water and intermittent fasting as that works for me, cut out the sugary snacks (which there are multiple) start daily moisturising (very rarely do this but do exfoliate often) and buy myself a tanning moisturiser as I am incapable of applying fake tan and book a pedicure.

Can anybody else think of any other emergency measures so I don't feel like a frump in my bikini in 12 days? I am also due my period the day before we fly so any recommendations to delay that (never done it before) welcome.

I know it is a very nice problem to have but I want to feel nice on holiday if I can.

context: DD22 is an amazing, lovely person but it has always seemed like at home everything is 10x worse. I’ve became a single parent when she was 8 and chose to remain single until she was 18, when she’d be off to uni. I thought this was the right/safe way of doing things, but now I’m not so sure. She seems to think everything is hers with no consideration for others.

Uni in the traditional sense never came and I’ve never managed to get her to do things around the house, I’ve been consistently unsuccessful. Finishing college was a battle, then a gap year, then after much back and forth she agreed to apply to uni (my terms were either uni or a FT, but a PT while doing nothing else was unacceptable) only for her to decide to do it online at last minute. By this point I was worried for her because it felt like there was some sort of avoidance of responsibilities/new steps, but agreed to it because I thought hey, at least she’s studying. She’s almost done and recently got a FT job along with studying, which I’m really happy about and proud of her.

Due to a recent change in circumstances, the person I’ve been with for 4 years has moved in with us. She’s angry, rude, somehow does even less to help at home and announced she doesn’t need to buy anything anymore because I don’t need financial help now (she’s meant to buy her own skin care/fancier toiletries). I’ve been treading eggshells trying to keep everyone somewhat happy. DP called me out saying I’m scared of telling her anything, which is… true? Today after another (small!) issue she’s announced that she’s moving out and accused me of never wanting her here, that my goal was to push her out, etc etc.

I’m heartbroken. I don’t want her to move out in anger, all I want in for her to try and be a bit tidy and not smoke in the house. That’s it. I feel like if I let her move out angry it will ruin our relationship, but if I ask DP to move out it will ruin that relationship too and after 4 years I am very happy to live with him.

Any advice? I’ve been crying my eyes out all morning.

https://www.ebay.co.uk/sch/i.html?item=197911633523&rt=nc&_ssn=alices-wonderland-of-treasures&_pgn=2

These items are so expensive. Does anyone think they are overpriced? Maybe the seller worked for Biba. Maybe it is Barbara herself!

My husband has been acting strange/secretive with his phone for a couple of weeks now so I took it on myself to look at his phone. Yes I know it’s morally dodgy but we have each others log ins and I looked at it whilst he was feeding DS dinner (it was charging upstairs).

There is a woman who is obviously a co-worker. I only had time to look at messages from the past two days. He was in the office today. He messaged her to say please walk past my desk again so I can look at your arse. She said she’d be back up in an hour and she will walk slowly this time. He then messaged again (after about an hour) to say that was the highlight of his afternoon to which she replied she knew her trousers would get attention today and sent a peach symbol. That was the last message.

I confronted him straight away and he stormed off and hasn’t come home yet. Said how dare I look at his phone. I have tried to call him and he just declined the call. He sent a text to say I’ve betrayed his trust and he can’t believe I did that instead of speaking to him.

Am I wrong to have done this, I think that if you know something is up then it’s within your right to investigate?

Basically I met this guy I'm 34 he is mid 50s. I only ever saw him as a friend but he was constantly pushing a relationship ship on me. I still wasn't feeling it but he was becoming more pushy taking about living together babies and moving to Devon. It all felt to much we had been friends for two years. I can't get my head around why a man in his mid 50s wants a younger women and to have more kids. There is one other thing bugging me basically he is very sneaky about his house like he always wants to be at mine and if i ever suggest he's it becomes odd like he makes excuses there is always a excuse why i cant go to his. This has been on my mind a long time and can't shake it. I personally feel his intentions are not genuine not that i want to be with him but we are good friends i guess that's why i cant shake it.

We've had a new mattress, so decided to clear everything off our ottoman. Our bed & Ottoman very rarely looks this tidy. Does this look dated?

Not stylish AT ALL but I have finally found a housecoat after months of searching. I have a white cat with longish fur and a black cat so everything I wear in the house is instantly a cat fur magnet and I have spent a fortune on sticky rollers and invariably go out looking like a furry mess....lovely.
I had given up hope of ever finding one. I remember my grandmother wearing one round the house. She was incredibly stylish and well dressed and would never have exposed her nice clothes to children, animals or housework but would take it off if she was going out or expecting visitors.
I think they are due for a comeback 😀

www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B09RPX62RS/ref=syn_sd_offsite_mobileweb_50?ie=UTF8&psc=1&aref=z12Im60v0s&sp_csd=d2lkZ2V0TmFtZT1zZF9vZmZzaXRlX21vYmlsZXdlYg&tag=dradisplay0bb-21&th=1

I’m married and have two school age dc. Dh works full time and I work part time 2.5 days a week.

This works quite well for our family, but it seems to attract a lot of judgement and unwanted opinions from other people.

Dhs job is very well paid but not very flexible. He has to just go where the work is, so this often means very early starts, getting back very late, working away at short notice, loads of travelling. We have zero family help and we both agreed that we didn’t want the dc in wrap around care full time. It’s also expensive besides anything.

There are always loads of things to cover like sickness, school events, school holidays, after school hobbies, so being part time means I can do a lot of these things without us having to use our annual leave.

It suits dh having me working part time because he would have to make massive changes to his work and lose money.

Anyway, I get pissed off because I’ve had various comments from people almost implying that I’m using dh and that he’s doing me a huge favour.

Yes I’m lucky to be able to work part time but surely he’s also lucky to have all childcare covered without having to even think about it, to 9 times out of 10 not have to worry about shopping, meal planning, cleaning and all the rest of it.

A friend is getting married in NYC later this year. The dress code is black tie. The venue has not been disclosed and will not be disclosed until the day of the event to avoid media attention as they are within the celebrity sphere (I know them through family and am very much not from this world)
Any advice on something suitably glamorous given there may be a few A listers present and I don’t want to look out of place? I’m 5’7, size 8-10. Budget not really an issue

What were they?
i have two girls, and I’m a fan in different names - but not made up names, IYKWIM.

when I was pregnant with my first I watched Moulin Rouge, and for quite a while I was convinced that Satine would be the perfect name, but my partner said no.
my second I was desperate for Vivienne, which in in itself is a gorgeous name, but combined with Satine seemed to follow a trend of ‘ladies of the night’ (pretty women) so my partner said no again.

whats the most out there names you considered for your children?

my top boys name was Moss. Not sure I’d have gone through with it.

The en suite sink has been very slow draining and sometimes water has been sitting in sink until following day..I’ve tried vinegar and baking soda twice a few days ago, drain snake nothing unblocked it.
So this evening about 7pm dh decided to put sink unblocker into sink but he had to remove stagnant water that had been sitting there first then he poured the unblocker into sink and its still sitting there it hasn’t moved.
I’m really stressed about toxic gas so I’ve come downstairs to try and sleep on settee not happening! dh is mad thinks I’m overreacting as I left the en suite light on for the vent and opened the bedroom window a bit.. I was scared fumes would get into our bedroom ..so I’m worried the chemical will still be sitting in sink in morning what do I do obviously we can’t get it out

Unless in extreme cases (ie SEN, extreme mental health or other complex needs) or parent is qualified teacher, I fundamentally disagree with home ed.

It's insular and doesn't prepare kids for the real world.

I've seen first hand some shocking examples that I can't go into for confidentiality reasons but common thread was parents arrogantly assumed they had same skills as teachers with masters degrees. Reality was kids were really behind, had no proper structure or routine.

It's worrying that so many people see home ed as a viable lifestyle choice. I know school system not perfect at all but isolating children at home or in small home ed group echo chambers isn't healthy.

My Man had this emotional web situation with this girl back a year ago. They ended up meeting once. He claims they never did anything. This was before I met him, by the way. I heard around that he would call her on blocked numbers every month since then.

I’ve found some texts in his phone which are questionable. About two months ago, they got back into contact. He was sending her messages telling her that she’s still in love with him, like a lot of teasing on his part. She texted him asking for advice regarding a man, and he went off. She’ll block him, then unblock him, and every time she does, he comes running to text her.

Him: “Don’t ever play on my phone like that.”

Him- don’t ever contact me about another man, so and so. He then blows her up like 5 times.

I confronted him about this. He said it was all jokes and how this is how they play. Yet from the texts, he came off very upset and bothered that she was dating other men.

Fast forward to now, I seen they got into an argument and he called her out of her name, vice versa. Then he calls her 5 times. Kept telling her that he knew she was going to unblock him. Then he sent her three voice memos telling her to admit that she misses him, and how he might miss her a little and care for her a little.

Then I seen that he called her at 3 a.m. She cussed him out and told him not to ever call her at that time.

He later on admitted that he only got love for her as a friend. Then I seen messages of him telling her he has feelings for a girl, that he’s pretty much in a relationship, and how his girl goes through his phone and is cool with it, which I’m not.

Him:
“We homies lol.”
“My girl not even tripping fr.”
“She be in my phone, she seen it all.”
“But you know I got love for you (her full name).”

Yet he just blew her phone up two days ago and called her at 3 a.m. last night.

It seems like she contacts him when she’s bored, and they get into these mini arguments, yet he blows her up and gets emotionally involved with it. I know it’s not good, yet I don’t want to end things over something that isn’t serious.

I have this dress which I will be wearing to a wedding in June. (Image added but may take a while to be approved, please no comments about dress being frumpy, not current, dowdy and the rest of it).

Struggling to know what shoes to buy. I have dodgy ankles and cannot wear heels unless they are very very chunky. I don't want to be spending money on red/pink shoes which I probably won't have the occasion to wear again so thinking more neutral shades, maybe wedges??

I am desperate to find a pinky nude matte-ish lipstick similar to the ones Lucy Punch wears in Amandaland. I’m quite pale and find Pillow Talk comes out REALLY orange on me.

Does anyone have any ideas?