Hi all,

I have a 5yo daughter who has started Year 1, and has always been a bit behind with her gross motor skills. As a baby she was okay, but she commando crawled initially or did a form of it where she would pull herself with her arms on the ground, and it took her ages to get used to stairs. However she met all her milestones by her 2 year check.

Since then, she’s been a little behind. She struggles with the following:
• Riding a scooter (she can’t lean to steer)
• Riding a bike (she has just learned to ride with stabilisers but doesn’t enjoy it)
• Running and climbing - only uses baby slides and climbing frames
• Soft play - again finds it v scary and not confident with climbing
• Doing and undoing buttons, opening food packets
• She climbs down stairs one foot at a time and is v scared of falling so needs to hold someone’s hand.
• Tends to do things really slowly

In terms of her social, emotional and academic development she’s fine, she’s always been very emotionally aware and a good conversationalist. She excelled in reading and phonics during reception so no issues there. However, since the summer holidays she sometimes writes letters backwards.

i don’t know how to help her develop her gross motor skills. Her new teacher has picked up on it and said she may reach out to the SEN specialist for advice. This has worried me since she’s always been bright and we never had any concerns about any special needs.

Does anyone have advice or shared experiences? Just feel quite alone with this as everyone else’s kids seem to be running, jumping and climbing everything. My little one is quiet and prefers to be indoors doing crafts, colouring, playing with dolls etc.

I know its not even October yet lol, but I'm already thinking about the cost of Christmas and wondering what everyone else is doing this year with the cost of things.
The christmas activities are going to start creeping up... adding up the food, presents e.t.c.. its scary.
Does anyone set a christmas budget and stick to it?

Do you have a set amount you spend per child/family member, or are we just buying things and hoping for the best lol?

Has anyone started saving a certain amount each week or month until nearer to December? Would love to know everyone thoughts as I am feeling financially pressured this year.

Should I be offended that my husband says it annoys him when I call him? Apparently that’s why he’s constantly hanging up on me. But if I don’t call at all he asks why I haven’t called him & says how come I don’t care about him. I’m not sure if I should be offended or if this is some kind of mind game? Any input would be appreciated thanks

I know I might sound crazy, but is anyone else worrying about all the posts about stockpiling and prepping for 3 days that the government is telling us to do? Is anyone actually taking their advice and buying torches, extra water and wind up radios? I just don’t know whether to take it seriously?

These are the photos of my home, ready to put on Rightmove. I am extremely nervous as I've never put up a house for sale before! Please could you give me some constructive feedback?

You may recognise the front door from a previous thread!

Will post the rest in another post...

So I am thinking about buying my 24 year old niece some nice pyjamas - maybe a shorts set. She is tiny (xs), and wouldn't want patterns or bright colours - she is fashionable and appreciates nice things. I looked at Victoria's Secret - lovely but more for lates 20's -30's maybe? Can anyone suggest some ideas - budget £45 ish. thank you.

my Art is being displayed for the first time in a gallery which is 2.5hrs drive away. My husband says it’s too far to go and it’s not his thing anyway. AIBU to be upset by his lack of support? If it was the other way round I’d be excited to go and see it. He says it’s my hobby not his.

I keep seeing adverts for various different neck wraps / supports for sleeping on planes. Has anyone tried any of these? Just wondering how you found them?

Hope nobody minds me starting a new thread? I am finding it very helpful!

Evening all! Next thread ready...

I certainly didn’t and I miss it! The only part of my body to become skinny and Im absolutely pissed off. Why did no one tell me about this?? And now I feel I can’t tell anyone else in case it’s just me.

So DC are all obsessed with with squishys. Where can I buy them that is reputable and safe? In particular DD really wants a cheese squishy. I’m not too fussed on brand but there seems to be a lot of dodgy fake ones out there that I want to avoid

My children are six next month and three. The older one is obviously in school and the younger one in preschool three days a week.
dc1 does beavers, swimming and basketball after school 3 nights a week then football & rugby weekends

the three year old doesn’t do after school activities but does ballet, swimming and a regular class on one of our days off. So we’re quite busy.

We get home from school and preschool just before 4, they usually play outside for a bit if the weather is OK or play with their toys inside. Dinner is at 5 and then I start their bath and bed routine at 6.

I was wondering about getting my older one some board games for Christmas and one response when I asked for recommendations was incredulity I hadn’t done them with the kids yet. I guess I’m just wondering if we sound normal! As I don’t actually know when I’d fit them in just at the moment!

How long do you give it before Paul and Nigella are coupled up 🤣

All my plans at getting organised in the last thread left me as I realised the thread with referrals was already up and running, so the one I set up I'll link to once the current one runs out!

Welcome one and all to this safe, warm and fuzzy place for people to share discounts, bargains and Christmas gift ideas both online and IRL. Please note the tone and intention of the thread and join with spirit as generous as DC helping themselves to the Christmas chocolate celebrations .

Here’s some useful information about how to save the thread or a specific post so you don’t need to have a message to check in for every thread so you have the thread saved:

To watch the thread - click on the little bell that has ‘watch’ under my first message. This adds the whole thread to your ‘watched threads’

You can also bookmark a specific post by clicking on the ‘bookmark’ under the specific post. This saves your exact place in a thread but doesn’t alert you to new replies.

If you have any referral links or codes, please share them on the referral thread here

A reminder that we don't use affiliated links on here please

If there’s anything you think would be useful or good to include in this post then please do tag me and let me know here (or DM me). Also always happy to hear nominations for a thread title.

Today was my first day at a new job - one I am very lucky to have. I probably wouldn’t find another one as good again. Not going in tomorrow will look very, very bad and potentially jeopardise my job.
DP is a GP and has a 30 patient clinic tomorrow.

DD3 is ill. Some sort of virus, fever, headache, sore throat, no appetite. There’s no way she’ll be well enough for nursery tomorrow.

DP thinks I should stay home with her and I think he should. Up until this point I’ve been a SAHM so things like this weren’t an issue. He has never ever had to cancel work before.

Who gets to go to work tomorrow?

My dc has been asking how to become rich. I’ve no idea (🤣) but as I was musing that question I thought I would ask a few more:

What do you do as your main source of income?
What salary or income does this bring you?
What qualifications and experience do you have?
Did you have material and/or cultural capital support growing up and as a young adult - eg parents’ networks, paid tuition fees or ability to stay living at home and save on rent, support in mapping out a career path?

My answers:
I’m mainly a wellbeing practitioner in a school.
My FTE salary is £27,407.
I have a good joint honours BA, a postgraduate teaching qualification with 20 years’ experience in teaching, a Level 6 qualification in what I do now (which is related) plus over 2000 hours’ experience and CPD in that field. I also have experience in running a business, marketing, administration, bookkeeping, customer service…
I had cultural capital growing up but very little material support (I took loans and had a tiny grant at uni as they were phasing those out then), and no help with how to embark upon a career rather than get a job.

I love my work, I am super fortunate to enjoy working at what I do and rarely dread having to go to work. I don’t feel the pay matches the value of what I do. I don’t think it matches my expertise and experience. For me, I think it’s worth the low pay because I burned out before; however, it would be nice to get to the end of the month before the end of the money.

I work in another job as well which tops up my income. It’s as a lecturer in FE and there, my FTE salary would be £41,080. I don’t love the admin side of that job or the pressure, and I don’t think the pay there reflects the qualifications, skill, and demands of the job either. It has a reasonable pension (but not one of the old-style kind) but we are expected to take our holidays (during the college holidays of course) as booked leave and be on site if we aren’t on holiday. We get 21 days holiday FTE.

I’m curious about other people’s experiences in these areas. Are you willing to share?

I’m going into hospital tomorrow for reconstructive surgery on my hand, meaning it’ll be unusable for a couple weeks at least, certainly in a sling for the first few days anyway. The hospital is 90 miles away and I need to be there early, so DH and I had decided to stay nearer there tonight, and his brother and wife are going to stay at our house to watch DC6 and take him to school in the morning. They haven’t babysat before as we aren’t particularly close and not had a need for a sitter.
DH say they need to have our bed which I have prepared all fresh and clean, and that I should have the inflatable camp bed I’d set up for them in our home office, and to use that for a week or two myself so he won’t disturb me in the night (he snores, and DC gets in our bed often, and he does sometimes have a bad back).
I’ve just tried it and it’s so low to the ground I can’t easily get up with both hands let alone with one arm. It’s also a walk to the bathroom whereas our room has an ensuite (and my period has started today). He’s taken them to the pub for a quick drink. Am I right to tell him no, i’m having our bed to recover and he can have the camp bed, even after they’ve gone?
Ive never had surgery before and he says I’m being dramatic about it all.

It was the absolute best and I loved it

No space in any of the lidls near me so I don't think just sold out

I am looking for a cream/ivory/white blouse. I would like something in a style that would pair well with jeans. I saw someone with a lovely broderie anglaise style and it looked feminine, elegant & classy..but I can't find it!

I don't mind spending a little more to get something I will get the wear out of. I've looked on Mint Velvet and Sezane and while they are along the lines of what I'm after, I haven't seen exactly what I want. I would prefer long or 3/4 sleeves, v neck with buttons, no collar.

Any suggestions of other places to try? Thanks 🥰

Can any solicitors please advise me on the legal route to end a joint life insurance policy which my ex husband is continuing against my will?

We divorced several years ago with a clean break agreement but for various reasons this policy (which has no surrender value) was not considered.

I originally took out the policy, which pays on the first death, back when we first got married and I paid all the premiums.

The beneficiary cannot be changed and the policy cannot be cancelled without his consent which he will never give because
he knows I now have stage 4 cancer so he is wanting the inevitable payout.

The insurance company is sympathetic but says their hands are tied.

The financial ombudsman says they cannot even investigate my complaint without my ex-husband's consent because he is named on the policy.

Is there some sort of court order which could force my ex-husband to agreeing to end the policy?

I have tried just stopping the monthly direct debit but he took it over.

It feels like he is actively investing in my death and I do not want him to profit.

This is a man who took a lot of money from me during our marriage and then wanted even more in the divorce.

He had an affair with my best friend when I was first diagnosed with cancer.

I think he has taken enough from me.

I’m off to a theatre-related charity gala which is likely to have numerous celebs in attendance. It’s a lunchtime champagne reception and buffet followed by the matinee theatre show.

I am 49, peri-menopausal and feeling frumpy. I have absolutely no idea what to wear and there hasn’t (yet) been any info shared about dress codes etc. I want to be prepared in case it’s smart (and don’t have anyone to ask about whether these things tend to be). I’m attending alone but might meet up with friends afterwards so don’t want to be all dolled up while they are in jeans and trainers.

i’m 5’ 9” and a top heavy uk16-18. I have had surgery which has left significant scarring on my legs so I would need a jumpsuit, trousers or maxi dress. I’m a bright cool winter in colouring.

I found this when searching: it’s possibly a little more formal than I would like though.

https://www.monsoon.co.uk/sienna-embellished-maxi-dress-blue-1001128287.html?utm_content=brand&nbt=nb%3Aadwords%3Ag%3A21426431457%3A198557365801%3A805447420077&nb_adtype=pla&nb_kwd=&nb_ti=pla-2692893077232&nb_mi=12198991&nb_pc=local&nb_pi=1001128287&nb_ppi=2692893077232&nb_placement=&nb_li_ms=&nb_lp_ms=&nb_fii=&nb_ap=&nb_mt=&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=21426431457&gbraid=0AAAAADjtA_GralCbLrbeUfI-v5iWc3C-L&gclid=Cj0KCQjwt9jVBhDXARIsAFSP-6fFKs66z1BQ7roK3GBfHDKfRjPDB-2EsL44unhEYtDiCsWzijz-BXgaAk84EALw_wcB

There’s a navy version of it, or there’s a navy lace jumpsuit which might work?

https://www.monsoon.co.uk/monica-lace-wide-leg-jumpsuit-blue-20004710003.html

Or would smart black jeans and a nice top work? (I already have those!)

My 13 year old is struggling at French lessons at school and was sad about this, so I paid for an app to help with learning French. I also set her up on Duolingo. She didn't use either. I explained that she asked for help, I got her the app and now she's not using it, and suggested that at do it together. She did it a bit but was really reluctant and grumpy. After a while she refused to do it and said it didn't help anyway. I said that her French is improving but it takes time, but she insisted it was useless. I was a bit annoyed that she was so ungrateful and said "fine do it yourself. I've tried, you don't want my help, so I'll cancel the subscription". She's now struggling again with French, but I'm not going to fight with her to learn.

Today she was doing her homework and needed coloring pens. I have a box of colouring pens that we've accumulated over the years and she was going through them choosing the ones she wanted. I asked her to bin any that she found that didn't work. She looked at the box with contempt and said that none of them work and they should all be binned. I don't keep this box of pens for me, I keep them for her and I feel that whatever I do for her is not good enough. So I picked up the entire box and chucked it in the bin. Most of the pens were fine and I'm so tired of the ridiculous untrue sweeping statements of how crap everything is.

Not sure if im being unreasonable here or expecting a little too much as I struggle to make friends and feel a bit disheartened with this situation.

I'm off work this week and have some childfree time to myself. I asked a friend if they fancied doing something like go fo a walk. They took a while to respond but eventually with a backhanded comment "sure a walk tomorrow then, what time?", I responded with a time and meeting place which was read and nothing further. We are due to meet tomorrow and haven't heard anything more from them since then.

A similar thing happened a few weeks ago when i invited them to lunch, had a great time (i paid) and went for an hour walk afterwards. Then I got ghosted or semi causal/vague responses to messages after that. I feel a bit disheartened that i get a sense they are just not interested and trying to placate me.

This has taken a lot of effort for me to put myself out there and make friends, instigating more rather than being led. I guess thinking a little enthusiasm or reciprocation would be nice but am I expecting too much? Is this actually how friendships are? Should I cancel and just move on from this situation?

A few weeks ago I caught up with my friend ‘Ruth’ we’ve known each other for more than 30 years. We were talking about books and she said I’ll never lend you a book again as years ago you borrowed a book from me and you never gave it back (as in more than 10 years ago). She said she couldn’t remember the name of the book but it still annoyed her and she’s never forgotten about it. Obviously as she couldn’t remember the name of the book I had no recollection of this but it could well have been possible so I said if it is true then I’m sorry. She just said well it’s definitely true.

So today she messages me and says she’s remembers the name of the book and if I have it can I give it back. It doesn’t look remotely familiar or like the kind of book I’d want to read. I replied and said sorry it doesn’t look at all familiar and I’ve definitely never read it. She’s just replied and said well you definitely took it but oh well. I’ve not relied because what is there to say to that?

I know it’s not a major in the scheme of things and as my name says it’s a petty argument but

Am I not being unreasonable to think it’s just a bit weird and overly intense for a book potentially borrowed years and years ago?

or

I am being unreasonable and it’s understandable she’s annoyed and I should maybe apologise properly or even offer to replace the book. I mean as I said to her initially it’s not outside of the realms of possibility that I borrowed a book and didn’t give it back.