My DS is turning 2 next week and I don't think I shouldn’t buy him anything.

He already has everything he needs or wants. My older DS is 4, and I still have three full Kallax boxes of toys from when he was that age that DS2 hasn’t even seen yet. There are also gifts in there that are still too advanced for DS1.

I did a huge clear/ sort of the toys last year and gave a huge box of small baby stuff away for free, and sorted the rest.

We’ve always been fairly limited with toys. At Christmas they get one bigger present, one smaller present, a few surprises and a stocking. I think they still get plenty but not huge piles like I see online.

I’m the same on holidays/ days out. I don’t buy souvenirs or another little teddy every time we go somewhere because they already have plenty.

I’ve looked at some of the Fisher-Price animal sets, but he already has two that are very similar to the one he doesn’t have, so it feels pointless.

Would a cake and a few toys brought out from the Kallax boxes that he doesn’t know exist be enough?

I feel a bit guilty because it’s not that we can’t afford to buy him something. We could take him into a toy shop and let him choose whatever he wanted. I just really dislike buying things for the sake of buying them.

YABU - This is stingy
YANBU - It is fine

I have two children aged 1 and 4 and I’m looking for some inspiration for Christmas activities and trips that we can do.

We went to centre Parcs last year and really enjoyed this!

Any recommendations for a super Christmassy European city but that’s still suitable for small children? Or any short breaks away in the UK?

Would love to hear some recommendations!

I saw a thread on instagram about this and found it really interesting and wanted to hear more. What is the worst place you have visited and why?

Ex and I usually follow the 2-2-3 co parenting rule which generally works well for us but as it’s summer holidays we’re giving week-on week-off a go. So far I hate it but that’s another story. The kids have been with him for 6 days and are back to me tomorrow. Today I’ve found out that he’s gone on holiday abroad with his girlfriend and the kids have been sent to their grandparents to stay for the day/night (kids will not be happy about this arrangement at all). I’ve text Ex and said that if either of us are unavailable during our scheduled child time then we should be defaulting back to the other co-parent before asking family members for sleepovers but do I even have a leg to stand on asking that? I know technically it’s none of my business what happens during his time with the kids but this has simultaneously pissed me off (because why does he want to cut his measly 50% any shorter) and upset me (because I know the kids will be having a miserable time with mean grandparents). Ugh.

Landlord has served Form 4a increasing my rent by £205 a month from October. This is a 46% increase.

The accompanying letter states

“After careful consideration, we have made the decision to implement an increase in the rent. This reflects the continued rise in property maintenance and operating costs, aligns the rent more closely with current market values, and will help support planned maintenance and improvement works to ensure the property is kept up as best as possible with future regulatory changes to the private rent sector”.

I understand that maintenance costs and improvements are the landlords responsibility and shouldn’t be a reason for a rent increase. And it is the landlords responsibility to ensure property meets the forthcoming EPC standards coming into force for private rented accommodation.

My wages haven’t increased by 46% a month.

I’ve lived here for 20 years. And the property only has one door. No fire doors, only 1 double glazed window that has blown, and does not meet fire escape route standards If there was a fire downstairs I have no other means of exit?

What can I do please

MIL came back from a trip to Edinburgh and told us of a “really spooky” thing that happened that MUST have been a ghost because there’s no other explanation. She was walking in a field, no other people around, and she got a whiff of strong rose perfume. That’s it. She said that plus another occasion where her cat was looking at something on the wall when there wasn’t anything there have her convinced that ghosts are real.

I try not to engage in these conversations with my opinion really because people can believe in whatever they want to and it’s pointless getting into a debate about it, because if someone’s already made up their mind it’s hard to convince them otherwise. But she asked me if I’d ever had anything happen and I said no I don’t believe in ghosts. This lead to a conversation where she just kept saying “well go on then, give me one possible explanation for the perfume if it’s not a ghost!” And I was giving explanations that she just wouldn’t accept. How does someone think it’s impossible that someone was around wearing perfume and the wind was just wafting the smell over, but it’s perfectly plausible and OBVIOUS that perfume has transcended into the afterlife and a ghost is the only possible option?!

even if there was no possible explanation I could think of, I still wouldn’t jump to “it must be a ghost” I’d just accept that I don’t know the answer. I don’t understand why it HAS to be a ghost when it just makes no sense. I’m just curious, how many people actually believe in ghosts and why?

I turned 40 in June. Life hasn't exactly gone the way I imagined it would in terms of my relationships.

I've been married three times and have two children. One child is with my first husband and the other is with my second husband. It wasn't the future I pictured for myself, and there were some difficult years, but I left those marriages for my own reasons and I'm much happier now. These days we co-parent well and everyone gets on well enough, so there's no drama and my children get to spend time with both parents and aren’t missing out on time with their fathers.

I've been seeing someone for almost a year now. He's 43, married once, divorced himself and has two children, so he completely understands the co-parenting side of life. Things have been going really well and are starting to feel quite serious.

Here's the bit I'm wondering about.
He knows my children have different fathers. He knows I've been married before. What he doesn't know is that I've actually been married three times. All I’ve said is ‘I’ve been married before and my children have different fathers’ then we both started talking about our children.

It's not that I've deliberately lied or tried to hide it. It just...never really came up. Early on it didn't seem relevant, and then as more time passed it somehow became more awkward to mention. Every time I've thought about bringing it up I've worried it'll sound as though I've been keeping a secret.

I know I need to tell him, and I will. I'm just wondering whether I've made this into a much bigger issue by leaving it so long.

What it would be? Mine would be a very strong Southern Drawl. As deep south as possible. Think Texas or Alabama etc.

Yours?

Anybody know the best place to get one? As in an actual mascot-type one?
For a fancy dress party.
We've had a look online but they all come up as really expensive 😀

Basically I find my neighbour quite a nuisance and I am not sure if I am over reacting.

She has wind chimes by my side of the fence so I can hear them at night as my bedroom is at the back.

She has multiple cats who would poo in my garden but then didn't like it when I got a motion activated sprinkler and blocked up the hedgehog hole.
I have young kids and didn't want them coming across disgusting cat poo.

She has multiple plants growing over my living room window which I shall be cutting back but again why plant a Buddleia on the boundary by my window?

Some days she will be doing DIY in the back garden past 9pm.

I wanted to be civil with her but now match her energy, ie not saying hello.

With the summer holidays and having kids at home it's just noisy non stop past 6pm most nights.
AIBU

Changed name as a regular poster and don’t want to out myself.

I’m away with DH and our two DC currently, we have had a few rows in recent months and haven’t been intimate for a while either.

I have spent the first few days of the holiday (we’re here for 10 days) running around after the kids, co-ordinating the on site clubs and basically not relaxing. DH has spent most of his days led pool side with his headphones in and a drink.

He has been on his phone a lot more than on recent holidays. So when he was in the shower last night, I looked at it because I was suspicious.

There are numerous messages between him and another woman. Time stamps when he would have been pool side. One really hurtful one said he has a ‘beer and the sun, I just wish you were here too so I could see your milk tankers in a bikini’. She’s equally flirting back, it made me feel sick reading.

I managed to bring this up without the kids present, he said what do I expect when I won’t go near him anymore. Just really cold. He’s doing his own thing today, and I don’t know how I’ll get through the rest of the holiday 😥

YA daughter is 20 and at university.

She is autistic as am I. I would say the relationship hasn’t been good for about 5 years.
She was highly controlling of home life. What channel we could watch, and it steadily got worse as teenage years kicked in.

We tried to put in boundaries and basic rules and it just got really bad. Most of the really nasty stuff was directed towards me and not her Dad - he’s a quiet gentle giant.

She would call me a Karen, Terf, even a Tory (I voted labour) and any insult she could think of - I’ve been called mental, controlling, bitch and I’ve even been punched. She was failing at university socially (not academically) and no self care so GP recommended she move back home. It was vile.

Daily insults. No basic rules following. She literally used to say ‘what you looking at bitch? ‘ if I came downstairs in my own home. I’m a Headteacher in my day to day job. I hope I’m a good one and kind and empathetic. She would tell me I was stupid on a daily basis and to chill.

She would leave used sanitary towels left on the floor in the bathroom etc and she just treated us like an ATM. She went out late (3 am) and then phoned as she was on the street in city centre at night etc it wasn’t just what she said it me but how she said it and I kicked her out the following day and offered to book a hotel or something but that I couldn’t do it anymore - I had high blood pressure, panic attacks, and I was very ill. She agreed to leave and go to a friend but wouldn’t tell us which one. And this was a month ago. She said she is safe and won’t tell us where. She says at the moment we haven’t supported her and that we need to understand she wants space and if she wants money or a relationship she will phone. We did contact wellbeing and she had lied as she had said they were supporting her but the university had no record on her.

I lurch from loving her and missing her one minute to wanting to scream at her and hate her the next.

I’m having counselling but it’s not helping. She wanted a huge holiday and back in September we agreed and are due to go on a once in a lifetime safari next week. (She has a younger sister). She has emailed us to say she is 100% not coming as she needs to heal. I’m furious, sad, angry but I’m also glad she isn’t coming and I feel conflicted by that. She won’t talk to my lovely DH or respond to her sibling or grandmother etc DH says I need to focus on me and we need to focus on each other and our family. I’m so angry about the holiday we booked it for her mental health as it was the one she wanted. I feel so angry I’m such a shit mum and I failed to raise a nice person - it’s all on me isn’t it? I tried over the years to get support, diagnosis etc and no one really helped us as she was so clever and masked so heavily out of the home

Today is my DD1s birthday. She is 20.
Ever since I have known DH his family have made this big deal about seeing each other on birthdays, especially the children. We have always made sure that MIL gets to see the kids on their birthdays..
I'm sure you know where this is going. This year she hasn't seen DD1. TBF we haven't seen much of her either. She was working all day, came home for a meal (take away) and now gone out with her boyfriend. We did say MIL could come round for takeaway but she declined because DD was going out after.
So I feel we did offer a chance for MIL to see DD.
She has been on the phone crying and saying she thinks it's unfair that we didn't let her see DD on her birthday. DH said she was invited for tea and that DD was growing up and allowed to decide how to spend her birthday but MIL was still annoyed.
She's now posted on the group chat that we're stopping her seeing DD. Opinions in the family are pretty divided with some saying we were unfair when we know how much birthdays mean to MIL and others say it's natural for her to spend time with her friends and boyfriend as she's getting older.
I don't know what else we could have done really. MIL is likely to sulk for weeks about this and I personally don't care, but DH does as obviously it's his mum. I guess I'm asking if we were unfair, if we should have made DD stay home tonight.

My colleague has been on a fixed term contract with a plan to go into another job at the end of it. They’re not exactly the best employee at the best of times.

They got rejected from that position and asked our boss yesterday if they could stay. The boss said no.

So they just walked out. They’re not in today and to be honest I’d be surprised if we see them again. I’ve already picked up the work of one colleague who has left. Now I’m picking up this work too. AIBU to be totally peed off and fed up?!

Something I’ve been working on in therapy for a long time is what makes a good (enough) mother. And I’ve realised I don’t have any real life role models of good mothers (aunts and uncles on one side of the family are childless, and on the other side are estranged), so I’m looking to fiction for some help!

Who would you say is the best/your favourite fictional mother figure?

Hi, I'm looking for a dress for my 11 year old DD to wear to a wedding in Ireland in a few weeks. She's quite tall and curvy and starting to get breasts, but obviously not fully developed yet, do whilst she would fit say a size 8, most styles would be loose around the bust. Plus she wants to wear something reasonably fashionable but still appropriate. She likes brandy Melville, Hollister etc but their stuff is generally too casual for a wedding. Grateful for suggestions of particular dressed or even just brands to look at!

Posting for others opinions on this as I’m not sure if I’m being unreasonable.

my DP’s are having my 2 DC for the weekend next month, while myself and DP are away.

I was told today that they have booked to take them away for the weekend.

I’m in 2 minds, as obviously this is nice of them to do it & DC will enjoy it BUT I also would have preferred to have been asked and not told.

a while ago DP’s wanted to take DS away, and I was worried about it him being away, wasn’t going to say yes, then spoke to DP’s and agreed. So I’m not sure why they wouldn’t ask this time? Or if they thought because they are babysitting anyway that it didn’t matter where?

would this upset you or would you be ok with it?

Not in a werewolf way and i’m not a woo type of person, but I’ve noticed a few times (going to have to start writing it down) that on the build up
to a full moon, he can be very moody and not nice sometimes and the day after-few days after, he’s back to himself, but much nicer-kinder

It’s happened too many times now to feel like a coincidence

Am I the one going mad?

I habe been getting a bikini wax every 6 weeks for 2 years. Started at £26 a go and its now £40 so I am looking for alternatives.
Shaving makes me itch. What do others do? I usually get a hollywood in case it matters.

Please cheer me up with all the wonderful things to look forward to in Autumn.
I have had enough of heatwave after heatwave. Especially as a dog owner. Ive just stuck on Gilmore Girls as a means of escape!

So please join me here if you can't wait for Autumn and share any of your Autumn joys!

Put it in the Christmas section in the hope of finding my kinda people! I

If you have to pick a ketchup what do you go
for?

Heinz
Branston
own brand?

Autistic dd14 has been having a tough time tonight and had a meltdown, which are quite rare for her these days. I was cooking dinner and asked her dad to take her into the garden to calm her down. Next thing the doorbell goes and banging on the front door, the neighbour downstairs answered and I heard her say ‘oh good have you come to sort this out’ then proceeded to tell the police my dd screams morning, noon and night (a complete lie) and must have something wrong with her. I answered my door to see two police officers and the downstairs neighbour who was smirking and said ‘I didn’t call them by the way’. I apologised and said sorry she’s autistic but she wasn’t interested. The police maintained that a neighbour a few doors down heard noise from our garden and called them. Of course my daughter saw the police and was terrified and thought they’d come to arrest me. A thoroughly horrible and unpleasant experience and I’ve no doubt I’ll be reported to my landlord for the noise. The police took my all our names and my phone number. Scared it will bring about some sort of safeguarding enquiry. Feel so worried not to mention mortified and ashamed and sad for my daughter.

I need a glam-ish dress for a night out in Ibiza. This is tricky as im definitely not an "ibiza glam night out" sort of person! Its for a nice bar/club, so I want to be able to dance and not get too hot, but also feel a little bit special compared to everyday dresses.
Im short, size 8/10, small boots, small waist. Happy to show arms/legs. Im 40 and while I don't believe in having to dress a certain way, I also don't feel comfortable in many of the brands i used to wear when i would go out dressed up! I tend to suit blues and pastels but im open to suggestions. Max budget £150. Help!

For me it’s &Other Stories. Granted I looked in yesterday and did try something in but there’s been a change of direction and Inam not liking it.

New thread. Welcome oldies and newbies.

I'm expecting this thread to be busy as we head towards both advents and autumn releases.

There's a dedicated advent thread for advent calendars here to keep up to date with reveals, waitlists etc.
www.mumsnet.com/talk/style_and_beauty/5549187-beauty-fragrance-advent-calendars-infochat-2026-spoilers?page=32&reply=153745800