My friend is kindly hosting a night for me and two others, a girly catch up.

When suggested we agreed on getting a takeaway and consensus from earlier this week was to get an Indian, and we earmarked the specific takeaway we’d order from.

My friend hosting has messaged to say she has picked up a ‘deal‘ from the supermarket this afternoon so she has got some ready meal curries and sides and said we can sort the money out on the night.

First world problem I know, but a supermarket ready meal doesn’t really hit the spot compared to a proper Indian takeaway so I feel a bit annoyed! She didn’t check with us before.

My husband is getting more gorgeous with every year that passes. Hes really grown in to himself. Me, on the other hand am turning into my grandmother. I am a mum who works at home. Housewife we would have been called back in the day. Im in my mid 50's now and I need a glow up. I never wore make up and i think i need to start. but since many of my days are spent only in the house or caring for elderly mum i dont know when to put it on, Also whats a casual but polished style now adays with out looking like the local free P pastors wife?
i need serious help. Photo for ref. dont look quite my age yet but no idea how to dress or what to do with my face. can i have advice please Skincare regime is good and skin is clear. thanks peeps.

I’ll go first….Two years ago I bought an electric blanket for around £150. Large, deluxe one. I honestly cannot explain how much happiness and joy this purchase has given me. I just love it so much. I think it was the best £150 I have ever spent. Couldn’t imagine life without it 😂.

What about you lot? What other joy am I missing out on in life?

DD10 had her first residential trip last week. She went into school as normal. I gave her a big hug and helped her get her case inside, told her I love her etc and waved her in.

According to the itinerary the coach left about 10am. There was no mention of parents.

I picked her up outside the school yesterday when the coach got back, and I overheard lots of other parents talking about how they'd been there on Monday to wave them off! The thought had never even occurred to me.

I feel guilty that she was watching all these other parents wave their class off and I wasn't there.

It was a big deal for her. She's autistic and I wasn't sure she'd cope with camp but she was a superstar!

She says she didn't mind. I would usually be at work but I had actually taken the morning off to take her in the car (dad doesn't drive) .. so I felt especially bad.

So, AIBU for this to never have crossed my mind?!

Because I am aware of an individual who has set himself up as a counsellor who should not be anywhere near vulnerable people. He was previously a GP - he was my GP - but he isn't any longer. He's now got a web page that says he is a counsellor.

The problem is that when he was my GP he was problematic. He prescribed off label psychiatric medication to me and repeatedly arranged appointments in his GP surgery for me to "chat" to him. This off label medication actually caused huge problems for me. It had a lot of side effects and negatively impacted my life in terms of how I functioned including losing a job. I was eventually able to come off it when I went to IAPTS. But that took years.

In addition while I was under care of IAPTS I had cause to engage with GP services for my son, who had asthma. He had difficulty breathing and he was coughing constantly. I took him for an appointment with this GP. This was after I had engaged with IAPTS, been seen by a psychiatrist and stopped the medication he put me on. None of which is relevant to my son of course but during this consultation about my son he suddenly started going through my own medical notes and asking questions about how stable I felt, then he started asking "so your son, has he actually been diagnosed with asthma, or is it just what you are saying? He's got a bit of a cough and you are anxious" I knew then he would not help my son because he had got into his head some weird imagined symbiotic relationship that was threatened by me having an independent thought. So I waited until the out of hours GP service opened up, phoned them, took my son to see them and it was as I had feared, his oxygen level was 93%, he had asthma and needed treatment.

So, that's a long story and I'm sorry. But, I think it shows that he is an abusive individual. He wanted to have this kind of weird svengali relationship with me, and used his position as a GP to do it, and refused my son treatment for an unrelated issue because I had went against him

But, now, apparently he is a counsellor. Even though he is I think a harmful man, if not dangerous. Is there any organisation at all that I can report this chancer to?

Also: please be nice. This was difficult for me to write.

Is anyone else absolutely terrified of this. My mind is working over time thinking of all possibilities of what we may and may not need and where to store all these things. I have a 2yr old too so extra pressure to keep him fed and hydrated. I know they say just incase of a storm or power outage but what if something worse was to happen like how much cash do you actually need to have at home like most people we don’t have ‘spare money’ we live payment to payment so doing that is super difficult and same for stock piling at what point is it enough of everything there’s so much to consider even down to period supplies and toiletries right up to food and water I just can’t cope. How’s everyone else coping and dealing with this oh and medication like to make sure you have enough of everything is crazy it’s such hard work and as I said my minds doing overtime with worry and stress I can’t cope

I get that not every school is perfect and people have specific and individual issues with this or that. However, every thread on education seems to take it for granted that our system is dreadful. In the 3 big global rankings we are currently placed 4th, 6th, and 16th. We are in the top 10 for all 3 subjects compared by PISA scores. To me that suggests that we actually have a pretty decent system.

We also have 4 of the top 10 universities and are ranked 2nd for research quality in higher education.

Links provided so that you can see the data yourself

https://worldpopulationreview.com/country-rankings/education-rankings-by-country

https://www.usnews.com/news/best-countries/best-countries-for-education

https://www.topuniversities.com/university-subject-rankings/education-training

Poor Harry. As if his week hasn’t been bad enough he has now had to watch his brother appearing on the best talk show , holding his own, looking comfortable and relaxed, keeping up with the banter, making half decent jokes, telling stories against himself with humour.

Makes Harry’s attempt at tv chatting seem even more uncomfortable.

“Call me William” versus “I am a prince.”

In the interests of being a bit more intentional about gifting this year, we've decided for our adult friends and family we're going to do homemade gift baskets as a family for Christmas. We've pre-warned them and said there is no pressure to reciprocate (everyone is busy) but if they do want to make instead of buy a gift that's lovely. So far, we are planning:

Me:
Needlefelt Christmas decorations (a nativity set for our religious friend, baubles for everyone else)
Felted soaps
Lavender sugar scrub
Summer berry jam (frozen berries)
Winter spice coffee syrup

Husband:
Caramelised onion chutney
"Abbey crunch" dupe cookies
Beeswax wraps
(He's currently trying to come up with some more ideas)

6 yo daughter (with help ofc!):
Salt dough ornaments
Gingerbread people

Who else is doing homemade Christmas gifts this year? Or has done it previously and has ideas for things that were well-received? Disaster stories also welcome, I'm sure we will encounter some on the way!

Previous thread: https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/telly_addicts/5589402-welcome-to-the-castle-it-gets-worse-here-every-day-2026-celebrity-traitors-thread-4-tv-pace?reply=155362157

This is a TV pace thread so make sure you’re up to date with the live broadcast and yes, previous series (regular and celeb) will be discussed!

Please no spoilers if you read them online!

The story so far (as at end of episode 6)

Traitors (still active)
Maya Jama
James Acaster (recruited)
King Kenny (recruited)

Faithful

James Blunt
Jerry Hall
Joanne McNally
Leigh-Anne Pinnock
Michael Sheen
Miranda Hart
Romesh Ranganathan
RossKemp (full name)
Sebastian Croft
Sharon Rooney

Murdered
Amol Rajan
Bella Ramsey
Rob Beckett

Banished
Richard E Grant (Traitor)
Myha’la
Julie Hesmondhalgh
Professor Hannah Fry (recruited Traitor)
Joe Lycett

For these that want to keep up with Claudia’s outfits: https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/uk/lifestyle/a73628412/celebrity-traitors-claudia-winkleman-outfits/

Are wake windows just nonsense?

I know the advice says newborns are supposedly meant to be getting 14-18 hours of sleep a day bit I don't think my 3 week old has ever gotten that much. And the idea that she should be ready to sleep after 90 minutes awake is laughable.

I'm driving myself crazy trying to follow the windows because I do feel like she gets overtired but, at the moment, she doesn't even like contact napping or being in the sling.

Am I better off just giving in to the chaos and taking it hour by hour? It's becoming hard not to feel like I'm somehow failing because my baby doesn't follow the guidelines.

My DS was upset at bed time last night, he said he felt embarrassed at school. He swung on his chair, and was reminded not to, swung again, another reminder, and later in the day swung a third time and then his chair was taken away for the rest of the afternoon. He said he had to stand to do his writing at his desk for his science lesson. He felt embarrassed, some of the children were laughing at him and finding it entertaining.

I’m a teacher myself, secondary rather than primary, and I know that children will have consequences for poor behaviour.

DS is only six though, he was forgetting and leaning back in his chair. Do you think it’s worth raising with the school or just leaving it? I don’t like the thought of him feeling embarrassed or ‘on the spot’. For some more context, we had parents evening earlier this week and his teacher didn’t raise any behavioural issues. We did, however, discuss how anxious DS can get when he feels like attention is on him, and his teacher thought that perhaps encouraging him to read out loud in the lessons would support him to overcome this, as she also had recognised that he gets upset if he feels like eyes are on him.

Would you mention anything to the school?

We've been trying to potty train our nearly 3 year old for around a year. She just hasn’t really made much progress. Right now, she’ll pee and poo in the potty if she’s bottomless. But with the pee, there has to be a few drips on the legs or on the floor before she notices. The poo seems a bit easier for her and she’ll manage if she’s bottomless.

We’ve tried adding just a skirt or loose trousers for quite lengthy periods. But it seems the moment she has something on her bottom half, even if it’s loose, she’ll pee all over the floor.

Then there’s the fact that she just doesn’t want to. She argues that she doesn’t have to, prefers to pee in her pants etc.

Is she just not ready? She’s always been advanced with speech and other things (she can read basic sentences and speaks using fairly complicated language for her age) but is very behind with gross motor skills. It took her much much longer to learn how to sit, crawl, walk, jump.

I'm autistic and I struggle with interoception myself.

We decided to take a break from it recently (for our sanity).

I’m just feeling tired with it all and I want someone to tell me what to do.

Thanks for reading and I appreciate any help.

For context, I have a large family (four children) and live in a cramped house where we don’t have a lot of space. In recent weeks my mum has tried to give me the following:

1. A huge plate warmer that I don’t have the space to store or anywhere to put when in use. I already own a small plate warmer that fits on top of my microwave AND an electric hostess trolley.
2. Six new plain white pillowcases when I already have complete sets of bedding for every bed in my house plus spares.
3. Three sets of bathroom mats when I already have a set and a spare set for each bathroom.
4. Two net curtains that don’t fit any of the windows in my house.
5. An ice cream maker that she got from the charity shop for £5 before realising the bowl didn’t fit in her freezer. I don’t have much kitchen storage space and I’ve never even aspired to make my own ice cream.
6. A huge electric fire that, again, I don’t have anywhere to put while in use or to store.
7. A large, empty Christmas cake tin. I have no idea why I want that at all, especially in October. I have plenty of storage containers.

I don’t understand why she keeps trying to give me things I don’t need and/or have nowhere to store. Some of them she had lying around but others she has bought specially for me even though I don’t want or need them. I feel bad saying no to her but why does she keep doing it?

So AIBU to wish she would stop trying to give me random items?

I need surgery which is booked for next month

My partner is a surgeon (in the speciality which I’m under)

I chose to have surgery at a different hospital under a different team. Not because I don’t think DPs team couldn’t look after me, but we socialise with some of them and it felt too close to home (obviously DP wouldn’t be involved in my direct care regardless).

DP was pretty pissed off about my decision. We talked about it and I understand why he feels that way but I don’t agree.

DP has now taken to disagreeing or not being happy with the proposed treatment plan from my surgeon. One of the main points of contention is recovery time (my surgeon says 3 weeks off work, DP says 6 weeks).

DP has likened it to having a husband who is a bricklayer and then asking another company to come in and build a new wall for you. Obviously he isn’t suggesting he treats me at all, but doesn’t agree I shouldn’t have anyone in his unit treat me.

i feel like he’s now picking holes in my treatment plan because he’s unhappy with my decision.

Thoughts?

It's happened and I am in my elasticated trouser era. Loads of sweatpants available but am I too old?

I looked at John Lewis (of course I did) and they have lots of Superdry ones which look comfortable but would I be a laughing stock (late 50s)? It all looks very 90s Britney and early Jack Wills to me which was my university era. Luckily I don't care but I do need to understand the exact coding so I can style out my mutton mistakes if I make them.

I would ask my children but I was partying so hard in the 90s that I forgot to have them.

This would be for wearing at home mostly but I do venture out in daylight hours occasionally.

We run a gift shop/gallery - just coming up to our third Christmas.

When is sensible to start with Christmas music?

I mean - obviously not October although I see John Lewis has trees in the window

Last night I get home, it was around 7.30 and my youngest said mummy I'm hungry. I was confused DH had been home since 2pm and sorted HIS stuff and then he headed off to his hobby. I checked to see if they had enough dinner, then the child says we didn't get any dinner! I'm furious...

There has been a few changes and I have been very understanding that DH is trying to adjust. However, for f"*k sake... I feel like I need to still manage everything and ensure things get done. I'm asked a 100 questions daily. An I snapped last night...

I just don't get how you can go off to a hobby knowing that your children still haven't eaten however, you've made sure all the stuff he had to do was priority and very much completed.

Just wanna. Get peoples thoughts

Batteries are huge fire hazards, particularly as they age
Ditto those mini gas camp fires
Plastic leaches from bottles into water
Food attracts vermin especially if you live somewhere prone

Surely there should be advice on this element of the whole thing

DH and I have been together for the best part of 20 years. Our sleep patterns have always been a bit different - he's a classic night owl but needs a good 10 hours+ whereas I don't seem to need quite so much sleep - happy going to bed around 11pm and still having a reasonably early start.

This worked fine pre-DC and wasn't even too bad with just the one. But now we have a toddler and a 1 year old, both of whom were/are EBF and not particularly good sleepers, I'm starting to feel a bit wrecked.

Take last night. I fell asleep on the sofa in front of the TV and woke up at 1am to the sound of DC2 crying. No signs of life from DH in our room so I fed and sat with DC2 for a while before heading to bed. Next wake up 3am. DH completely out of it - no reaction to the baby monitor - so I did the same again. Back to bed. Then at 6am our toddler starts crying because of a nightmare. Again, DH genuinely doesn't stir. I lie awake with toddler until DC2 wakes up again at 6.45am and so now I've been up since then. DH still fast asleep.

We've tried DH dealing with night wake ups, but he sleeps through the baby monitor/sounds of the DC. So I end up waking up anyway and have to get him up. By that point I'm pretty much wide awake, so not really any less tired than if I did it myself. And once DH's sleep is interrupted he either sleeps in or spends the day out of it. So I have to pick up more of the slack of looking after the two DC on not materially more sleep.

Up until this point I've figured that the best of a few crap options is for me to do the wake-ups and at least DH is then on ok form during the day. But is there another way? I'm due back at work imminently and feel like that's when the lack of sleep is going to become really obvious.

My mum let slip that she’s budgeting £250 per child for Christmas. They’ve already picked up a long list of things, so we’re talking lots of toys in the £10–£30 range, plus bits and bobs from B&M, rather than one or two bigger presents each. If they’d told me they wanted to spend that much on the children, I could have suggested one or two larger items that we actually wanted or needed. Instead, I’m now facing the prospect of an absolutely ridiculous number of individual items coming into our house. I posted before about my mum and the B&M 2 for £20 toys, and it’s going to be £500 worth of that sort of stuff. I genuinely feel physically sick thinking about it!

Does anyone have a pair and can tell me about sizing? I’m looking at the western styles, will probably have to be vinted due to price so need to order the right size

his son dobbed him in? Is it true?
x.com/gbpolitcs/status/2113385754353103129?s=46

Dear god, this is a bad one 🤦🏻‍♂️ started 5 days ago with sore throat, didn't feel too bad apart from that. Has progressed from tickly cough to chesty cough with bad body aches and now runny nose. Mild fever

I feel so utterly awful. Lying in bed feeling too unwell to sleep, read or watch TV. Taking paracetamol/ ibuprofen and Benylin chesty cough syrup. Eating and drinking pretty normally

Chat GPT reckons it's viral bronchitis, could also be COVID I guess. Anyone else feeling similar, or been through similar recently?