My partner works full time and I get less than a part time wage, he earns a decent wage!
we have a mortgage, 3 DC, 3 dogs, I do all the school runs, house chores, look after dc3 full time and the others when not at school. He pays the mortgage, and I pay everything else and I mean everything that comes with a house, kids and dogs that isn’t a mortgage. I’ve got nothing at the end of every month, every time I bring it up in conversation I get told that’s real life and that’s what comes with it. I’m not saying I don’t want to pay for anything but I have nothing left at the end of every month whilst he’s got at least double my wages to spend on himself. AIBU?

I keep reading about collagen & how effective it is. Does anyone on here take it & what are your thoughts? If so, do you recommend a brand?

I’m 34 & wondering if it’s something I should think about taking.

DH and I work for the same company, different departments, different floors, very little collaboration between the two, I don’t really know his colleagues and he doesn’t really know mine.
Tonight several of us from various departments went out for drinks, my parents have DS and DD so DH and I took a rare opportunity to join. It evolved into dinner which is fine and everyone was having a great time. I noticed DH was spending a lot of time chatting to one girl in particular, I can’t imagine she’s much more than 25, DH is 42. I felt like they were flirting but upon reflection I can’t remember why I thought that other than a feeling.
As we were leaving something happened I don’t know what exactly but DH said to the girl “did you just give me the middle finger” she replied “I didn’t give you the middle finger” he said “Is there another finger you’d rather give me” (I didn’t really understand this comment) and she replied “yeah my ring one”. It felt very flirty considering I was stood right beside him and made me feel strange. I haven’t mentioned it but it feels like an odd conversation followed by an odd reply? I read it as she was saying she’d like him to marry her? Which considering he is married feels like an awfully weird joke to make.

AIBU to feel uncomfortable about this and should I mention it to DH?

When I was a teen I found a sex toy in my mum’s drawer. I shouldn’t have been snooping.

It made me think of her differently, and I felt a bit weird about it for a bit.

I’m over it now, I think 🤔

This post is a work in process and if you have any links you’d like to share or would be good to add then please do let me know. The general consensus for the thread is to share any bargainous links, ideas and/or discount codes or information. No affiliate links (is that the right word?) And any referral links to the separate thread linked below. This is a warm, friendly, kind and cosy corner of mn filled with Christmas cookies and hot chocolate - let’s keep it that way!

If you have any referral links then please post on this thread https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/christmas/5212180-bargain-referrals-thread-7 and share around the joy/referral perks.

It's nearly time! November is tomorrow and Mariah Carey will be officially announcing the start of festivities . Hope you're all well and just wanted to give you all a massive thank you so sharing these wonderful ideas and codes etc. It helps me SO MUCH. I know I don't post much on here (various things going on) but I appreciate this warm place of mn so much.

What are you getting/what have they asked for?

I know that DD is definitely going to ask for Labubus, Sticki Rolls, Horrid Henry books and Robux. I think that she might ask for a switch but unsure on that right now.

So I have a new boyfriend, and I meeting his colleagues at a christmas do on 12th December - so I have time. I want to look good of course, not show him up!

Im 51, BMI 23, curvy - I have massive boobs (34gg), slim waist with flat tum, but
very chunky arms and legs that I like covered. He loves me in dresses, so I think id like to wear a dress. A big issue is shoes, I never know what to wear. Flats with a midi dress make my calves look enormous - so i cheat and wear knee high boots. But not all dresses look good with them do they? Id wear a pair of black shiny knee high boots with a slight heel if I had to make the look work. Id rather that than a pair of high heels.

Anyway, any ideas? Im thinking something slinky, shiny, velvety???

I like this a lot but what footwear? Open to all suggestions. Christina Hendricks X Joanie - Neroli Puff Sleeve Velvet Dress | Vintage-Inspired Scarlett Midi Dress | Joanie

Fed up dragging the kids off their iPads .. it’s like they are glued to them and I honestly think would sit on them from the minute they got up til they went to sleep. All half term been getting moans and groans from then (10,12) when taking them to some decent activities that I would be over the moon with as a child. Today’s final straw was I’d booked swimming, mainly to get them exercise as well.. heard 12 year old say to her online friend‘I’ve got to go my mum is making me get off’ so ungrateful (£21) for 3 of us to swim and it’s got flumes ect so not just a pool. Both have come home and gone straight back on iPads. I wonder why I even bother now. Any other parents experiencing the same thing?

Just that really. He went for drinks after work with a colleague. We don’t drink much in general, maybe a couple of units a month. I picked him up from the station at 11pm, all the other passengers left and I could see on my phone that he was still on the platform. Called him and he was barely coherent. Saw him staggering down the platform holding onto a railing.

After 10 mins he gets in the car, he’s soiled himself, grey and uncommunicative. Talking weird and not making sense. Walked in the house and literally dropped to the floor. I know, I know….. you’re thinking he’s been on a bender. He’s had less than a bottle of wine, maybe 3 glasses from what I’m gathering. This is the opposite of who he is and how he drinks.

Nearly 3 hours later he’s still lying on the floor with his head in a bowl. He’s so confused and unlike him. 111 tell me he’s just drunk. I’m hoping in the next hour I can get him standing so I can get him in the shower. He said this came on suddenly during the 20 min train journey. Could this be spiking?

Anyone around who might have some insight?

I was having a huge declutter recently as we’re drowning in stuff, and threw out a backpack of DD’s. It was given to us secondhand by a friend but was stained and a bit dirty inside and just not in great condition. She has several other bags that are much nicer.

However, yesterday she was asking where this particular bag was and I didn’t know what to say. I managed to distract her thankfully and have ordered a cheap but different bag online as a replacement. But if she brings it up again, how do I handle this? Do I tell the truth that Mummy threw it away without asking her? I feel so guilty now. She’s five.

Not AIBU so please not a pile on

My DSis and nephew are visiting us from overseas for Christmas which is super-exciting. First time in nine years and likely to be the only Christmas we all get to be together (although DH won't be with us due his own parents' ill health and space).

Apparently, my DSis has decreed no adult presents. This is a bit awkward as I've already bought hers and have very clear ideas about what I want to give my DPs (tickets so they can have experiences with DSis and nephew).

The first I've heard of it is tonight. I am gutted that it will not go down well to give something to my parents. I can't imagine not giving them a gift - even if it's just a tiny something.

For backstory. DSis is golden child. Very strident. Love her dearly and admire her boundaries with my DPs (who weren't great when we were children). But I have moved on for my own peace of mind.

I have been in tears. Just feels like she's dictating everything and it's bringing up a lot...

My boss has recently decided she no longer wants us to work at home (it was usually one day a week). It's not in our contracts to wfh and no one has requested flexible working, it was always just an unwritten agreement that we could do this. As far as I can see, nothing has happened to warrant the change such as work not getting done, and it has never been raised during supervision. She made a comment that she likes us to be visible and that it looks better if the full team are in the office. The reason I think it is unfair, is that my colleagues in different teams and with different managers, are still allowed to wfh. We do exactly the same work but are managed by different people with clearly different views on it. She is a nice person and has been very supportive of me in other ways relating to flexible working, so I'm reluctant to raise it, but I do feel a bit miffed that others are getting the perks of wfh while my team is not.

My mum has behaved in some hurtful ways in the past so I'm unsure if my judgement is being clouded by past experiences of her.

I had £1.21 in my bank account today (pay day is tomorrow) and no food in the house so my mum kindly brought around a small bag of basics - chicken, bread, salad, juice etc - to tide me over until tomorrow. My mum is fairly well off (as in she has a couple of holidays each year, she drives a high end car bought nearly new, owns a good sized house in the countryside with no mortgage) but isn't ostentatiously so.

The juice she bought for me was Asda's own brand. I'm perfectly happy with own brand, it's what I buy for myself. It tastes the same to me, and I'm single and living alone on quite a low income. I don't see the point of spending more than you have to on juice. However my mum would not buy own brand juice for herself - she buys Copella or Innocent, depending on what's on offer. She is comfortable shopping at M&S for her food shop also, whereas apart from a few items here and there, M&S is out of my budget.

AIBU to feel a bit hurt that my mum bought me cheaper items that she wouldn't buy for herself? I would understand if she couldn't afford to buy two people branded juice but I know she can afford it. As I say, my point isn't branded vs own brand per say but that I feel hurt that she would buy her daughter cheaper items than she would buy for herself. I experience it as an insinuation that I'm not as worthy of the quality that she is. I don't have children yet but when I do I'd want to give them the best that I could. AIBU?

Headlined in The Times just now …. About bloody time …

I was thinking about this tonight as I parked next to a Renault SUV. It’s completely unreasonable but I’ve never liked the brand since someone I know once said ‘it’s like driving a bin on wheels’. Even though I’m sure the brand is perfectly fine (and very popular) it’s stuck in my head. Apologies to all Renault drivers!

I’ve got other brands I unreasonably dislike too but do you have any?

I'm autistic and the youngest sibling by 12 years and not particularly close to any of them except 1 sister who understands me better than the others and is very empathetic about all things in the world. It's a different sisters big birthday coming up and her daughter is arranging a surprise party/dinner just before Christmas. I got the invite yesterday and have been filled with anxiety ever since. The thoughts of going has really upset me. I've always hated these family dinner parties. They fill me with dread and it's worse the older I get. I have anxiety about them for weeks and weeks in advance, it's like a constant black cloud on the horizon.

The dinner is a 70 minute drive away and I find the trip itself extremely anxiety causing and I'm exhausted by the time I get there. Then at the thing they are all so polite with each other it's like dinner at Downton Abbey with all the careful small talk until they all have a few drinks and at least then they relax a bit but I am rigid with tension for the first few hours and can barely say anything, I just sit there trying to smile. It can take me over a week to get over the burn out effect of one of these events. I haven't gone to most of them in recent years.

I have a lot on between now and then too, dental treatment including extractions, eye surgery, 3 hospital appointments for that. Work being done on the kitchen. My carefully constructed routine that keeps me right is already messed up and now this invite has me agonising.

So AIBU to think of declining giving the above reasons? Or am I a selfish bitch for thinking of not going to my sister's surprise party?

Hi everyone, so I need some advice.
I know a fellow school mom and we have connected in terms of our personal lives. We both are single parents, with 2 daughters in the same years at the same school (years 1 and 2). We get along well and have had a few play dates, mutual kids parties etc, days out.

She approached me in the playground yesterday and mentioned her older daughter (6) is going for a sleepover with one of her friends from the school and her younger daughter (5) has requested a sleepover with my youngest (5).

I immediately felt uncomfortable but I was also put on the spot and I’m not good in these situations so I kind of said ‘yeah we can sort something out, I’ll pop you a message’. She mentioned about possibly coming over and spending time up until bedtime so the girls would be ready for bed etc and then she would leave.

I have many concerns. The girls are 5 - I feel this is too young?
What if the girl wakes up in the middle of the night and wants to go home? The other mother doesn’t drive.
I don’t know if she’s planning for 1 of her daughters or both of her daughters to come.. this leaves me with 4 children on my own which is very overwhelming. I don’t know where everyone would sleep? I was also really looking forward to this half term to recharge.
I don’t want to say yes and then they suggest one at their house next time. We had an instance of my daughter leaving her house during a play date (whilst we were all there) and coming back to me to check if she could cross the road. I was in shock and so grateful my daughter came back to me to check.
Also, my older daughter (6) her best friend is a boy and I’m worried that if she sees her younger sister have a sleepover she would be none stop nagging me for a sleepover with her bestie.

Am I overthinking or overreacting? In my mind I don’t want to do sleepovers full stop but would feel more comfortable at my house. But even then didn’t expect this to come up till they were at least 8-9.

Please let me know your thoughts.

thank you!

DH and I have been together for 15 years. When we met my son was 22 and his daughter was 18. Now our children are fully grown up, with their own children, my son has 2 gorgeous little boys who are 7 and 4, his daughter has 2 beautiful little girls who are 3 and 5. My DHs daughter’s mum passed away when she was 12.
Now for some reason we have become the Boxing Day/Easter Monday. My son does Christmas Day with his wife’s family and New Year’s Day with his father. DHs daughter does Christmas Day at her in-laws.
I’ve grown quite used to it, we now go out for a meal on Christmas Day, go to church and have a very peaceful day. I then host a lovely but lighter meal for Boxing Day. However I’m a little sad we have become the Boxing Day house by default. I know it’s just a day and just as special, but I do feel like everyone is a little tired, the kids are all a little miserable at being dragged from their new toys and everyone is starting to feel a bit fatigued from socialising.
The same happens at Easter, we see them on Easter Monday when everyone is just a little tired, and often we don’t even see DH’s daughter as they always go on holiday in the Easter holidays and sometimes leave on the Monday.
I’m not really sure how this started and I don’t think we were ever consulted on it which is fine as obviously I’m grateful to see the children whenever it suits. DH doesn’t mind as much, but he’s a very unbothered man in general. I know his DD doesn’t like me but I like to think I’ve been nothing but lovely to her, she is adamant her children call me by my name as I’m not their grandmother which while it hurts I respect. Though I do find this a little annoying as we pay a 1/4 of her children’s school fees and this comes from our joint pot and while I’m happy to do that and don’t expect anything in return it does sometimes make me feel like I’m good enough to take money from but not to spend Christmas with or be called granny. AIBU to be hurt by this? I know it’s probably not worth actually mentioning as that will just cause upset.

I’ve a twelve year old daughter, seven year old nephew, and nine year old niece and they won’t stop chanting it and moving their hands up and down! Does anyone know what the fuck this means and why there’s such a craze with it?

Live in a road where parking is a pita. Not for me because l have a big driveway but l would not have bought a house in the road without one as it is near the town centre so a lot of people park here.

Neighbour has no parking and constantly asks if she can use my drive - aibu to say no? Don't really need all the space unless l have visitors which tends to just be at weekends but also don't want it to become a thing!

I have been with my fiance for 6 years, we have a 3 year old and an 8 month old and are getting married in 7 months time.
i do not know what came over me yesterday but he left his phone on the table to take a shower and i went through one of his group chats. I found messages that he had sent of pictures of my best friends sister in a bikini and said “ i would risk it all for her 😂 ive always fancied her, its a shame i cant like the photo 🥹” there were other pictures of girls that he had sent in the group saying how good they looked in bikini pictures etc who i also know.
There were two of his other male friends in this group chat who had and still have a horrible reputations and the group chat was just disgusting how they would talk about women.
We were together 3 months when he was sending these messages but
naturally i cannot stop thinking about these messages now and feel hurt by it. We were not living together at the time etc
He is literally my soulmate and is the best partner and dad and we are such a happy family, he would do absolutely anything for me, we have never had any issues like this in our relationship he has never given me any reason not to trust him. My friends and family always say they would love for someone to treat them how he treats me.
Im annoyed at myself for going through his phone as ive always been so against doing that and I acknowledge its an invasion of privacy, its the first time i ever have since we have been together as he has never ever given me a reason to, ive just been feeling insecure recently about how i look since i had my baby and keep thinking he is to good to be true which is why i think i felt they need to go through his messages.
these messages were sent 6 years ago sg

Do i just ignore this or do i say something. I feel wrong and embarrassed if i tell him i went through his phone but also the messages are bothering me Do i ruin our happy life to say something or do i just pass it off as “ lads banter” and that that we were new in the relationship

I need to replace my ancient JL brown brogue ankle boots. I've lived in them for the last two winters but I can't find anything to replace them with. I've tried some Jones ones... too high and dig in when I walk. Tried some Pikolinos ones... too tight and squashed my little toes. Tried some Gabor ones... not brogues and the very plain front looks like wellies when worn with jeans.

I'm not normally this fussy! I'm after brown ankle boots for a size 6. DMs a bit too chunky. Camper ones recommended elsewhere don't have a grippy sole. I don't want suede as my maintenance skills are limited. My current boots have a zip as well as laces and I'd like that again.

Budget is around £150. Any genius S&B-ers out there?

I feel like it's impossible to buy a bra that
a) doesn't feel like it's strangling me
b) doesn't dig into me (underwired especially)
c) lifts my D cup boobs enough so they don't look flat and saggy
d) actually keeps my boobs in rather than them congregating at the middle
e) looks somewhat pretty and flattering.

I have so many different types, and every time I try one on in the shop and think 'finally', I wear it for a day or two and the one of the above problems happens and I've wasted yet more money.

I just wish I could find a bra that actually fits and then just get it in several colours so I don't have to think about it anymore.

I've been to bra fitters, they always fit me in ridiculously tight bands that aren't comfortable.

Is it just me?

I'm almost tempted to get some type of tape as my current bralettes are fabulous, my boobs just want to spill out the middle and it's driving me nuts.

Just thought I'd scratch off a £2 card to get a pound for the trolley (no cash back anymore ???), and I've won £5. The doors have opened up for me now. Brainstorming what to spend it on!😆

Need some advise please
With my partner just over 1 year, don't live together thats not an issue. Few months into seeing eachother something came up on his phone which showed he had been in contact online with other women. I played detective and was sent screenshots of him sexting multiple women telling them he was single single and not seeing anyone. He said we wern't together in that way and it was non of my business which I understand but we had got so close, together all the time. He said if we were in a proper relationship things would be different, delete his social media, change numbers etc, which I didnt ask for and he hasn't done. He blocked me on all his social media back then and still won't allow me on it even though were together "properly" now. His phone is always either in his hand or his pocket, never sets it down, brings it to the toilet with him. Am I in the wrong for thinking something isn't right? Theres so much more that doesn't add up but im always made to feel like im the problem. Theres so much more, but he says hes sick of my constantly accusing him. I just cant shake the gut feeling ive had its making me so unwell but I idolise him and dont want to lose him. He has snap, hes 43, says hes never on it but I got someone to check and hes always still active. He says he uses it for pictures but always insists he doesnt use filters before snap was mentioned. His tiktok was literally just hundreds of women before he deleted it. Now he has a work page and im still not allowed on that and women keep appearing on it and he sent me a screenshot not long ago that one of them was a contact in his phone. He said shes an old friend but I reached out to her she says they've never met but just know eachother. It just seems like hes hiding something from me. The sexting from before was from women from all over the uk, were northern ireland. He has so many women's numbers in his phone from snapchat and tiktok including his ex that he said cheated on him. I just find it so disrespectful. He has 2 facebook "work" pages, tiktok "work" page and snapchat. He's always telling me to stay off social media because I got looking for things so i deactivated them. He's also refusing to put on his facebook that hes in a relationship