Aibu that I’m frustrated my partner is finding it hard to perform whilst we’re ttc? We have one DS, and would like another baby.

If I say I’m in my fertile bit (v briefly) and say let’s have sex apparently that puts him off and he then feels under pressure. So I just have to initiate naturally. It’s only actually been a few times that I’ve even mentioned it, as I am aware it can put them off.

So not only do women have to be pregnant for 9 months, give birth and all the rest but also we have to pretend we’re really h*rny during the fertile window and initiate DTD.

Don’t get me wrong I love DTD, but it feels like women have to orchestrate every aspect.
I’m posting as I can’t really talk about this to anyone but feeling frustrated like I have to keep track of it all and also keep it secret - as I feel chances would be lower than they already are if I didn’t track

I’m not new to solo travel, but I am new to solo summer travel.

I have a few beach visits planned and don’t really know what to do with my stuff if I go to the beach? Do I just leave my bag on the beach and hope it doesn’t get knicked, or do I accept that I just won’t be going in the sea unless I book into a beach club?

I’m on the lookout for a comfy bra. I’m fed up with the underwire cutting into me especially in this warm weather. Has anyone tried gel bras? Are they any good? Or does anyone else have any recommendations? Ideally I’d want something that has a clasp at the back. Thank you.

I had a personal stylist appointment from a big departmental store thinking they would help me pick out a few outfits to make me feel good about myself as I have a few events coming up I’m nervous for. DH looked after the kids to give me time and space for this appointment (he rarely looks after them so a big surprise for me). I had really high hopes but I’m left really disappointed. I explained my style to her and even the clothes I wouldn’t wear I told her when she showed to me but I still tried on. I ended up buying 3 dresses, 3 tops and 2 trousers. It cost a lot of money as they not cheap and I felt the tailoring and fabric of expensive clothes would suit (as she told be they would). I’ve had them for a few days now and I’m not happy and I want to return. I FaceTimed my sister to show her and she agrees they don’t suit me. She thinks one dress is okay and I should keep (this dress is £190) the other 2 she said are awful as they really show the fat on my tummy whilst the other one kind of hides it with the pleats etc.

I am really upset about wasting my time and money. I kept telling the stylist my areas of concern and she kept brushing me off saying I’m probably brainwashed by social media thinking of the perfect body should look like and my body is great. But surely accentuating my worst feature (my tummy area) is not good? The rest of my body I like such as my arms and legs. I just feel I could have done a better job at picking up some pieces from cheaper brands and look better. I have no family or friends here to look after the kids so this was such a treat for me. I have to return the clothes and just look online. Has anyone actually used a personal stylist and gone away with nice clothes? My first event is next week I’m really dreading it. I’ll probably just won’t go as usual.

edited for all the typos! Sorry!

Just sitting at our garden table with DP watching my children and his children sit inside on the couch together having a chat and a laugh together after cleaning away after dinner.

This is after my eldest son and his daughter have already spent a couple of hours chatting in the garden earlier this afternoon and my youngest son and his son wandered down to the shops together today.

Feeling very lucky and happy that they all get on and like each other and thought I’d post as often on here you hear the bad side of ‘blended families’ and ours seems, for the most part, to work.

The kids are
DSD 17
DSS 15
DS1 15
DS2 13

I mean God help us next year when we have A-levels + GCSE’s x 2 but for now I’m enjoying watching them hang out and be friends!

My boyfriend is very good at his job and has access to exclusive events. He's described his ex as 'stalking' him and being jealous but is fairly laid back and chilled about people from his past being a part of his life and says he wishes her well and hopes she's happy. He is friends with other ex girlfriend's who work in the same area as him because there is a genuine reason to work together.
This ex contacted him a year ago asking for her daughter to go on a job with him for work experience. At the time I said it felt odd and he agreed so didn't follow up the request. She's in contact/friends with one of his colleagues so I know there are other people she can approach. She contacted him again a few months ago with the same request and because she's dropped the 'stalking' behaviour he agreed. She's dropping the daughter off at his house to stay the night before because they have to leave early in the morning - she lives an hour away, not a million miles away.
Aibu to feel incredibly uncomfortable about this arrangement and her constant attempts to maintain contact with him? I see no reason for continued contact other than her daughter being interested in the same career as him.

Is it a waste of money to spend £25 to get my car cleaned inside/out as opposed to doing it myself? A debate I had earlier with a colleague, I like that it’s hassle free and seems a faff to buy everything needed to do it on my own.

I really thought I believed in letting women do whatever they want to and trying to see things from their point of view. But I just can’t understand Bonnie Blue for her “baby shower” plans… https://www.facebook.com/share/r/1DHqdeB6ed/?mibextid=wwXIfr

I get something like 400 emails a day at work on an average day. I work in a fairly fast-paced role but it can't be that unusual. People naturally sometimes struggle to keep on top of emails and grumble about it but it is what it is. A lot of what we do is team based so in the nature of the job its necessary to include anything from three to ten team members in an email so people are aware of what's happening even if not directly relevant to them. This means you sometimes end up with a lot of spam or irrelevant email.

Periodically someone will come up with the bright idea of trying to reduce inbox traffic and there will be invocations to not "reply all" to people saying "thanks" etc and campaigns to 'spare inboxes'. A completely understandable sentiment but it never works: in the ten plus years I've worked at my company this has been tried at least five times, usually by a newcomer, always without success, and always quietly dropped.

More recently someone has come up with the idea of "sanctioning" repeat offenders who reply all under what is being called the "spare you inbox" policy. The idea is that people who reply all improperly will be subject to some as yet unspecified sanction.

AIBU to think its futile to try to contain this and trying to mandate it is a bit nuts? It's like trying to hold back the tide. Cutting down on one or two unnecessary emails out of several hundred a day won't touch the sides. Also because in the nature of the work you have to have visibility across what's happening so better for people to have one or two pointless emails a day they can delete than miss something important? And ultimately because it's impossible to police this during a busy working day and giving people sanctions for stuff like this is going to create unnecessary resentment.

I think the whole idea of 'sparing your inbox' (which you see all the time in the world of work) is a nonsense and the answer is just to ignore or delete the emails rather than creating even more pointless and burdensome email etiquette?

NC for obvious reasons.

5 years ago, my family and one of my friends’ families moved to the same village at the same time. We’d been very close friends for years, but almost immediately after moving, she became cold and distant for reasons I never understood. When I asked if I’d upset her, she became very defensive and angry, and asked me to leave her house. We somewhat recovered from this but I remained in the dark and didn't dare broach the topic again. I did subsequently hear that she had previously and publicly shared her regret that our families were living in the same village and I think this was the nub of it.

Since then, there’s been a long pattern of mixed signals: excluding my children from events while including others, ignoring messages for months, then acting publicly as though we were still close and asking to meet up — only to ignore me again.

Over time I have had to quietly accept the friendship has changed. Ive built other (and closer) friendships but then last year she started to accuse me of “cancelling” her.

Last summer, while at her house for a rare coffee, I seemingly and unknowingly offended her in normal conversation - she suddenly told me to f* off and gave me the middle finger in front of her child. Her rage was palpable and totally OTT. I apologised anyway and tried to smooth things over. I feel I betrayed myself in doing this but I was so stunned I didn't know how else to react in the moment. However, some subsequent time apart, gave me a chance to properly reflect on what i wanted going forward but now she’s back and pushing to reconnect again, 1:1. I did try and say "oh catch you at so and so" and keep it light but she has persisted so Ive had to bite the bullet. Ive kindly messaged her saying I think it’s best if we dont meet 1:1 given the longstanding tensions but to socialise more in a group context, given our mutual friends, who remain largely unaware. As soon as i sent the message, her DH contacted my DH wanting to talk today or tomorrow. I now feel bad for DH.

I genuinely don’t understand why someone who seemed not to want me around for years is now so upset that I no longer want a close friendship. What am I missing? Am I being unreasonable for wanting distance from someone I no longer feel emotionally safe with? And how would others navigate this in a village with lots of mutual friends and overlaps? I don't want to be sucked back into the same vicious cycle and treading on eggshells for someone who has treated me pretty badly over the years to safeguard everyone's feelings whilst sacrificing my own

Last week on my Asda shop there was no own brand non bio liquid available. This week in Morrisons, same again. I don't want to buy persil or fairy. I don't want capsules or tablets or powder, I want liquid, as I can adjust the dosing more easily; powder isn't good long term for the machine.

This is probably in the running for the most boring thread ever! Anybody else noticed it unavailable? Is it made with chemicals becoming unavailable because of Iran?

I’m currently 35 weeks pregnant with my first baby. A friend of mine is also pregnant shes two months behind me but this is her second child.

We’ve been friends for around 10 years, but we haven’t actually been particularly close for quite a while. We haven’t hung out in around 2 years and I hadn’t seen her in about a year before my pregnancy. We stayed in touch but it wasn’t a very involved friendship.

Since finding out I’m pregnant, she’s become very invested. She talks about “doing motherhood together”, has spoken about coming round when my partner is at work, talks about our babies growing up together, and seemed very invested in my baby shower. She was originally only asked to help host some games but was messaging my cousin separately about shower plans and seemed to want a bigger role than I’d actually asked her to have.

She’s also approached another friend of mine (who she only knows through me) asking if she was coming to my baby shower.

A couple of people around me have said they think she’s just excited, but they’ve also admitted the level of excitement seems quite intense.

Part of my discomfort is that this same friend has asked me for favours, childcare and money on and off over the years. The last time she asked me for money was during my pregnancy, which I found quite uncomfortable.

I don’t dislike her and I’m not saying we can’t be friends. What I’m struggling with is that I feel like she’s built up an idea of what our friendship and motherhood journey will look like, and it doesn’t match what I want.

I’m excited to become a mum, but my focus is very much on my partner, our baby and our families. I don’t really want a daily-contact, shared-childcare, “we’re doing motherhood together” type friendship.

Because this is my first baby and I only have a few weeks left, I sometimes feel like I’ve spent a lot of my pregnancy managing someone else’s expectations and excitement rather than just enjoying it myself.

Am I being unreasonable, or would others find this level of involvement a bit much?

We’ve made the decision to home educate our child. Fulltime school isn’t right for our family, and I genuinely believe that play based, informal learning suits early childhood far better than sitting at desks from age five. I’d have been open to flexi-schooling if our local school allowed it, but they don’t so we’ve chosen home education.

What’s surprised me is the strength of the negative reaction from our teacher friends. These are people who regularly describe the state of education as dire. Dreadful behaviour, no funding, days spent on crowd control rather than actual teaching, children falling through the cracks, classrooms falling apart, pressure to hit their academies’ targets rather than do what’s best for the kids, they can’t even afford gluesticks. This insight into education from a teacher’s perspective has also informed my decision to home ed.

However when I said I was going to home educate, suddenly schools are wonderful and I’m making a terrible mistake. It started a few weeks ago when a teacher friend mentioned our children will be in the same class and since then the comments about how awful home ed is have kept coming. I’ve been shrugging it off to avoid an argument, but I’m getting increasingly frustrated. I’ve spent years validating how broken the system is, for both teachers and children, and yet the moment I choose to opt out of it, it becomes the only way to educate a child.

For context, my husband and I are both well-educated and take our child’s learning seriously. I feel comfortable teaching the early foundations like reading, writing and maths, and we plan to build projects around history, geography, science and whatever else our child shows an interest in. Beyond that, we haven’t planned anything because our child is still one. As we go through it, we’ll learn about what works for our family, and we’ll have seen how other home ed families approach things as children get older. We haven’t ruled out school further down the line either; it might turn out to be the right fit at some stage.

I’m not looking to convince anyone or get into a debate about home ed vs school. We’ve made our decision and we’re comfortable with it. I just find the contradiction so confusing and a bit hurtful. These are people who in some cases we’ve know for years, know how seriously we take our child’s wellbeing, and have spent years telling us the system is broken. I want to say firmly we’ve made a decision and we don’t want to hear anything else about it, but I also don’t want to lose long standing friends over it.

Hi,

I've been with my partner for just under 3 years. He has 2 children from his prior marriage. They are 19 and 15. The 19 year old is a boy and the 15 year old is a girl.

The girl was spending the day at her Dad's house and got a splinter under her foot. I'm a surgeon (only saying so because I have a steady hand) and so I offered to remove the splinter from under her foot. I did so - and it was removed without too much hassle. Whole thing took about 90 seconds. She thanked me and was happy.

We carried on with the day.

She went home to her mother's house - and her mother texted my partner saying I had 'crossed a boundary' in removing the splinter from under her daughter's foot. I asked my partner to clarify if the daughter felt I had crossed a boundary - or if the mother did. He clarified that it was only his ex-wife. The daughter was perfectly happy.

I don't have kids of my own - so can please I seek advice/asked if I did indeed cross a boundary...? To be clear, as a Dr, I'm obviously trained in safeguarding etc... I do not touch people without consent!

Any ideas? I've literally never used one before. Went into Boots and was totally overwhelmed by options... left empty handed.

I'm after something for pale skin with an SPF. My skin is pretty good, just a bit menopausal and meh. Don't mind paying up to about £20. Ish.

What would you recommend?

I went to my favourite restaurant in the world recently. Never had a plate of food I didn't love and I've probably been going 15(ish) times a year since 2018. It's 'tapas' style so you can easily have 4-5 plates in a meal. Just to give an indicating over the quality of the food.

One of the dishes we ordered to share was asparagus and a crispy egg. What turned up was four bits of asparagus and half a boiled egg in a shell (it looked a bit like a scotch egg, but no runny centre).

I'm wondering if I am being very unreasonable to still be absolutely gobsmacked over 24 hours later that anyone thought that was acceptable to send out of a kitchen at the price they charged for it. We're due to go back tomorrow night and I honestly want to cancel but DH thinks they deserve another chance...

So, can people tell me how much they would have thought that would cost?

I’m 25 weeks pregnant.

My original manager knew from 6 weeks in January as HG (severe morning sickness) kicked in at 6 weeks and I ended up on the sick for 2 months. After 2 months I returned as I’d found a medication protocol that allowed
me to get back to normality. I worked in an entry level customer service role. They have dozens of staff so my pregnancy didn’t really affect the team that much.

An internal role came up within the business in March. It would essentially be a promotion. Pay rise, more responsibilities (but generally nicer hours and less front-line customer contact, which is a huge bonus), no weekends, smaller team. I applied expecting nothing to come of it. I surprisingly got invited for an interview in April. I was 20 weeks when I interviewed. I had pondered over whether to disclose the pregnancy at the interview. This internal department is in a different part of the building to where I worked so they don’t know me at all. And my line manager at the time confirmed they wouldn’t tell them about the pregnancy and that it was up to me when I disclose. This job role that had come up was something I’ve desired to get into ever since joining the company, and I really wanted to give it my best shot, so I decided not to disclose, as was my legal right.

I interviewed at 20 weeks in April and felt I hid the bump well. We clicked really well at interview and they really liked me. They asked about pre-booked holidays etc. they then asked “Is there anything else we need to know about?” and I cheerfully said “no”. I felt awful about this at the time but on the other hand, as I said, I wanted them to review me as a candidate fairly without just being seen as “the pregnant candidate”.

Middle of May I got offered the role and accepted. The call where they offered the role was very rushed as they were snowed under, and I didn’t get chance to disclose the pregnancy as she said “Right I’ll be in touch when I’ve got a start date I need to go now, take care!” and abruptly hung up.

The next day (my final day before 17 days of annual leave) I messaged the new manager asking if she had time for a call and she never replied. I wanted to disclose the pregnancy then. I then went on the pre-booked
holiday and still didn’t have a start date.

Came back from my holiday and returned to work 26th May after the bank holiday and went to sit in my usual part of the office and got pulled away by my new manager, taken to their department and told I’m starting straight away. By this point I’m 25 weeks so I had to tell them. It was all quite rushed and they’ve been off with me ever since. Nobody has said anything but they aren’t friendly with me like they have been prior and at one point I was asked why I hadn’t disclosed at interview. They exclude me from friendly chat and I have to ask them what they want me to be doing with my time and my training.

I do feel awful for inconveniencing them but I don’t think I did anything wrong by not disclosing at interview. I had intended to tell them earlier than when I did but I just never got the right moment. I thought we’d have a time to sit down together and go through contracts etc and I would’ve mentioned it then but this never happened.

I have seen there is another woman on the team who is pregnant and due to go on leave so I suspect they had intended me to take over from her and that is why they are pissed off. They hadn’t told me this at interview though. Ironically I’m actually due before this other woman so I can see why they are fuming but legally I’ve not done anything wrong. It does prove that if I’d have disclosed at interview they probably would’ve not hired me and would’ve made up a non-pregnancy related reason to justify it.

Am I am awful employee? I’m concerned that my relationship with my managers will never recover from this and it’s a shame as I really have a huge interest in this role and have every intention of going back full-time after mat leave.

You might be able to tell that I'm not used to issues around weight as I've only gained in the last 3 years thanks to peri. Before that I was thin/underweight.

Someone bought me a summer dress as a gift. I really like it but it's tight fitting and makes my stomach stick out. I look about 5 or 6 months pregnant.

My question is...would you care? Would you still wear it? Or is wearing something that makes your stomach look big just not the done thing? I'd like to wear it but I feel so self conscious. Trying to gauge opinions. I have a feeling most people wouldn't wear something that draws attention to their stomach.

As an aside, I'm working on counting calories and trying to lose weight.

I'm just reading "The Royal Insider" by Paul Burrell. It's quite amusing, lots of tidbits about his time as a footman to QE2, less about his time with Diana and Charles although maybe that comes later. I think his 1st book was more about Diana.

Does anyone remember back when he was charged with stealing Diana's belongings after she died, but the trial fell apart when the Queen said she knew that he'd taken some items "for safe-keeping". I've heard all sorts of stories about this, it seems loads of people think he's a liar and a thief. I've seen him interviewed and he comes across as very charming, not that this means he's not a liar!

Just wondering if anyone remembers it, I'm Australian and it wasn't widely reported here. What was the thinking at the time? Did he have much public support?

My 14 yo daughter is autistic and doesn’t communicate well, she doesn’t understand basic etiquette of things you should or shouldn’t say and tends to go into random rants at me. I know she cannot help it but sometimes it really gets to me. She’s also home educated as she couldn’t cope in the school system.
She looks down on me constantly telling me I’m doing xyz wrong, giving me tips on how to be an adult, criticising how I look or what I eat, follows me around reciting things she has read on Google and generally being very negative and rude. I feel like the household walks on eggshells around her to not trigger her shouting and swearing. It’s like being in an abusive relationship and tbh I dread when she enters the room because I’ll have an hour of being told how I should raise her siblings/ I need to clean the house better because she found dog hair/ I burnt toast because I was multitasking but apparently just being lazy and irresponsible/ she wants another pet and expects us to find £3000 to buy one right now/ I need to lose weight because my clothes are stretching/desperation to tell me she saw a spider and gets angry that I don’t comment back with the same enthusiasm. It’s all day like this. It’s very rare she’s nice to anyone. I feel like I must have been an awful parent for it to get to this point because she suddenly switched last year and said it was my fault. I know teens are hardwork in general but her older sister wasn’t anything like this. I’m completely burnt out and had enough of the put downs.
Discipline doesn’t work with her but it’s starting to take a toll on my mental health and I’m already on the highest dose of anti depressants.
Can anyone offer any advice please?

Going to Soccer Aid at the London stadium on Sunday. Staying near Kings Cross Stadium. Not sure whether to travel there and back by tube or go via St Pancras to Stratford International. Any advice on what might work best (assume very busy tubes etc) appreciated.

Hi everyone, can anyone recommend a child-friendly industrial curtain for our newly renovated house? We need something safe for kids, durable, easy to clean, and suitable for separating a wash bay or utility area. If you have any suggestions on good materials, brands, or suppliers, I'd be happy to hear them. Thank you!

maybe quirky isn’t the right word. I want a couple of pairs of very small stud earring, one silver, one gold plated. everyday ones I can put in and leave.

i don’t want plain ones though. But I also don’t want childish ones (like hearts or stars or lightening bolts).

I basically don’t know what I want. So any suggestions of good places to browse gratefully received

Me and my DH get on pretty well most of the time. But I think he’s jealous of my relationship with my adult kids! I hardly see them too. One is 40 miles away and the other lives in Australia.

Two months ago, we hired a van and moved my son into a new apartment. My husband was the only person who could drive the van. He had a long face the whole day and made us feel very indebted to him for driving. Why can’t he do it with a good heart?

My daughter is back from Australia right now, only for four days for a wedding, and we are meeting for breakfast on Monday. I offered to drive them to the airport after breakfast, as it is en route to our way home. The only way that we could do this is to take 2 Cars. Well, my husband has hit the roof! Telling me that I’m a joke and unreasonable . I don’t even really know why he is angry.

I’m just so exhausted with the competition. We don’t have sex anymore (his decision). It’s so sad because I am in love with him, but this is such a turn off that part of me just wants him to leave. He has stormed off to bed and I’m feeling so lost.

Where can I find a Luna bag cheap please only need to use once or twice on holiday ?