Yes, it's weird that my nearly 80 year old mum smells like my sixth-form canteen from 1998. But so it goes.

I don't want to get her Angel as she was given a bottle a couple of years ago (saved for best, obv, whilst she uses the knock-off from the market that's actually nicer). She used to like Obsession and Paloma Picasso, but not sure if she still does.

Every year she asks me to get her Imperial Leather soap. I've told her it's not really a gift given you can buy it with your shop each week, but she says it's all she uses and would rather get something she WILL use instead of expensive toiletries she won't. Which is fair enough. But I still feel I can't just get her that.

Any ideas?

We are going to do our path in the garden. The photo gives an indication of what I'd like to see/use. But when I trawl the web, I come up with things like https://decorativeaggregates.com/products/dove-grey-limestone-10-14mm-gravel

Which looks bigger and chunkier. Any suggestions of lovely gravel for a path like this?

Thanks v much

I have a small toilet in the area of my house that used to be ' the cupboard under the stairs'. My dog was playing around with a toy
and nudged the door. It opened slightly as was pulling my jeans up after having a wee as the post man walked directly past my living room window. How do I fa ce him

What shall I do with these to tidy and maintain? What would you do?

Hi all. Here's our new thread. Giving Rainbow a break and until Reastie returns. Sorry there wasn't a more inspiring title, didn't spot any comedy typos this time.

This is intended as a friendly, kind, safe, warm and fuzzy place for people to share discounts, bargains and Christmas gift ideas both online and IRL. Please note the tone and intention of the thread and join with spirit as generous as DC helping themselves to the Christmas chocolate celebrations

Here’s some useful information about how to save the thread or a specific post so you don’t need to have a message to check in for every thread so you have the thread saved:

To watch the thread - click on the little bell that has ‘watch’ under my first message. This adds the whole thread to your ‘watched threads’

You can also bookmark a specific post by clicking on the ‘bookmark’ under the specific post. This saves your exact place in a thread but doesn’t alert you to new replies.

If you have any referral links or codes, please share them on the referral thread here:

www.mumsnet.com/talk/christmas/5444936-bargain-referrals-thread-8

A reminder that we don't use affiliated links on here please

🎄 Emoji to copy if required for posting bargains as some agree this makes deals easier to spot. (or post in bold)

Ok l know im probably going to be slaughtered for this but here goes.
We moved a week ago into a new flat, purpose built block. We both smoke, yes l know its disgusting but whatever.
So today upstairs neighbours came down and said smoke was bothering them, im not sure how as they are not directly above us, but above on other side. I guess none of our frount doors are that good , so smoke is going out of ours upstairs and to the left to thiers? Seems unlikely but obviously they can smell it, they accused us of smoking in communal area hall which obviously l would never do. Other upstairs neighbours directly above say that they can't smell anything.
Im not really sure what to do now, l did say sorry and normally we would smoke outside just been hectic week moving and so wet but if we smoked inside we would do it furthest room away from frount door and close all the doors in between so 3 doors.
Apprently that's not good enough , they also dont want us smoking in the communal garden?
Aibu to think actually we can do what we like in our flat, and to just ignore them.

For the past week I have been working in a different town. It is temporary, and I will return to my usual workplace by Christmas.

Parking in town is very expensive, so I have been parking in a quiet cul de sac about a 10-15 minute walk from my work.

Every house has a drive way and I’m parked right at the end away from their homes, and there is always plenty of space for anyone else wanting to park there.
I also have a tiny car.
I would never park here if it seemed like I would be inconveniencing the people who live there. My car is doing no harm there and is in the way of no one!

Anyway I return from work this evening to find a note saying ‘TRY A CAR PARK’

It seems utterly pathetic to me, but they clearly think I’m in the wrong.

AIBU thinking about parking here still?

I've been out with a guy a few times in the last month and we've slept together. Sex was amazing - some of the best of my life tbh. He's been in consistent contact since but here's the rub:

• he holds a senior position at an NGO
• he has a young toddler

At the start this lead to a rescheduled first date was all fine after. At the weekend he asked to make plans in advance to see me yesterday but then cancelled 3 hours before, very apologetic and citing childcare issues. He asked if I could do a lunchtime date today and I said I could - and asked him to confirm in the morning.

So here we are, almost lunchtime and he hasn't messaged. I sent a quick check in about 10.30 but nothing. I feel so disrespected that he couldn't even take the time to say he can't make it or whatever. I am actually shocked that he's just dead silent and left my hanging.

I almost feel like blocking him. Would you say something or not?

According to DD, I look like a Christmas tree...
is there any hope or should I send the trousers back?

DH and I had our first baby 2 weeks ago. Together 16 years, since I was 19 and he was 23.

His mum has been like a second mum to me watched me grow up from graduation to first apartment, first home, first jobs. She says she considers me like a daughter and a close friend, and has always cheered us on as a unit.

DH is the oldest of 3 boys, so this is her first grandchild.

She came over 5 days after I gave birth. She gave DH a lovely, expensive leather wallet engraved with our baby’s name and a card saying how proud she is of him as a first-time dad.

She got me nothing. Just a quick “congratulations.” No card with both our names, no flowers, nothing. And she didn’t ask how I was feeling, if her girl needed anything, how my body was adjusting, how I’m holding up.

It felt like: “well, I have my granddaughter, she provided me with, and that’s what matters” not how SHE is doing.

This was after a long, difficult journey to get pregnant that she supported me through. She knows what a huge deal this pregnancy was for us and our families. So to not even be acknowledged...

What makes it hurt more is how much I included her. I included her equally to my own mum the whole way through ultrasound pics, pregnancy updates, shopping for baby things together, all of it. She was welcome at the hospital ASAP. I also made it very clear that both my MIL and mom were invited over anytime they wanted after our baby was born. The only people in the delivery room were DH and the doctors. I didn’t do that because I felt obligated, I did it because I wanted to. She will be the grandmother just the same as my mum will, and I wanted to genuinely include her because I love her dearly. I didn’t treat one different to the other.

So to do all that and then not be treated as a unit in return... it stung.

Honestly, it’s crazy she didn’t think about me at all. I’d just grown a human for 9 months, given birth 5 days ago, and I’m sitting there sore, bleeding, exhausted, trying to keep a newborn alive, and she’d put all that thought into a gift for her son and zero thought into me? I didn’t want something expensive a card with both our names, a snack, a coffee, a chocolate bar, anything small to say “I thought of you too” would have meant the world. She didn’t bring me so much as a bottle of water.

If she sees me as a daughter and close friend, why wasn’t she happy for me too? If your daughter/best friend just had a baby after fertility struggles you watched her go through, wouldn’t you be bursting to say “I’m so proud of you, you did it”?

I do get that dads get overlooked and I’m glad she thought of him he deserved to feel seen. But why does him getting a gift mean I don’t get one? It’s not either/or. She could have celebrated him AND acknowledged me. Why does him being seen have to come at the cost of me being invisible?

Even my boss sent flowers addressed to both of us by name. My BOSS. And my mum congratulated BOTH of us, said she’s proud of BOTH of us, asks us BOTH how she can help, and brings meals making sure there’s something DH likes too. I’d be mortified if my mum treated DH like an afterthought.

I honestly thought the days of me feeling like an outsider were over. I thought once we were a family with a baby, I wouldn’t be “his wife” and “his mum’s grandchild” anymore we’d finally just be us, one family unit. But in that moment I felt split off from my own family again. Like she was celebrating her son and her granddaughter, and I was just... separate. After 16 years together and everything I’d done to include her, I thought we were past that.

A few minutes after the wallet, I said, “I’m sorry I’m going to go to the back room with my baby now because I’m really not feeling too well and I need a moment,” and I left with the baby. I was curt. I didn’t yell or cause a scene, I just removed myself because I was about to cry.

I told DH after she left that I felt like an incubator for her real family her son and grandchild and an afterthought, separated from my own family unit.

I later texted her directly because I didn’t want it to fester. I said I love her, I was happy she came, but I left feeling hurt and invisible. That after everything it took to get here, it was hard to watch her have such a thoughtful gift/card for DH and nothing for me, not even asking how I was. I said I wasn’t looking for a big gift or a fight, I just needed her to know because she means too much to me to pretend it didn’t hurt. I didn’t accuse her of doing it on purpose. All I got back was oh I’m sorry. Something is definitely off.

It’s not about the wallet. It’s about being made invisible at my most vulnerable. If my mum had done the same to DH, I’d have pulled her up on it immediately.

AIBU for leaving curtly and then texting her I was hurt? Or was that the adult thing to do?

Wow. I wonder what has happened?!

Would really appreciate some help.

My upstairs neighbour caused a leak into my flat. he fixed it and agreed to pay for the repair after asking for a quotation. He wants my builder to invoice him directly. It's two days and the work started today. it will finish tomorrow. He has this evening announced he will not pay and wants the freeholder to go through an insurance claim. all of the correspondence has been through email.

please advise. i feel terrible that my builder has been caught up and may not be paid.

Would a man who asks his sister for constant advice normal and who also constantly praises her as if she’s god’s gift? Also for example if you make a suggestion on something for his look that you would find attractive but he says let me ask my sister & when she says no don’t do it he listens to her? He has utmost respect for his sister and not his partner. Even to the point of saying his sister loves him more &’does more for him. She also gets involved in arguments & tells him how to respond. Is this normal? How would one navigate this situation? Thanks!

Looking for some help/support/advice from people who have gone through similar.

DH lost job I March. Was high up in a finance organization. Spent the summer enjoying time with our three children (I supported this). But has now declared he doesn’t want to go back into finance and spends his time coming up increasingly far fetched ‘business ideas’.

I am trying to be supportive but it looks like my own dreams of taking sometime off or slowing down to be with our 3 children is completely unattainable now.

Has anyone been in my situation? How did it work out? I think it would be different if he had a concrete plan to retrain in another industry, but it just seems like he spends his time grasping at straws.

I’m going out for an afternoon tea at a posh London place with friends who are effortlessly stylish.

We are all 40something plus but they are considerably thinner and richer than me so always look well pulled together.

I also have the joy of being a size 18 with huge boobs and horrendous legs so struggle to ever look stylish as usually resort to dresses of some sort.

Please help me source an outfit in the sales/off Vinted. Budget up to £250 if it is clothing I can wear again.

I suit warm tones as am a brunette with brown eyes.

I have had a lodger staying Monday to Friday for about 5 months.

It was generally working out quite well.

He has his own large room, which has a sofa and TV, and his own bathroom.

We share the kitchen and dining room. I have a separate living room.

The arrangement started that I provided basic breakfast food items for him to prepare: cereal and bread, butter, jam, honey etc

An evening meal was not included in our agreement. I did tell him, however, that he was welcome to have what I’d cooked, or if I was out or he wanted something different he could have one of several ready meals, or use any food in the fridge or freezer unless it was earmarked for another meal.

I made it clear that I eat fairly early, normally around 6.00pm, and if he wanted the meal I’d cooked and he wasn’t home in time, I would plate it up and he could re heat it when he liked.

He was happy with this as he hadn’t expected any meals ( the rent is very low for the facilities provided in this area), and had only asked for space to store his own food.

He now has his own cupboard/ fridge space in case he wants something different.

I like to cook and the meals I provide are cooked from scratch and accompanied by fresh vegetables. If we are both there when the meal is ready we often eat together in the dining room.

He has recently mentioned a few times that he would prefer to eat his meal when it was hot, rather than having to re heat it. This is quite a change from when he first moved in, and told me that he often ate Pot Noodles as he couldn’t be bothered to cook.

I advertised for a lodger to help with the bills and am happy to let him share my food, but I am not running a hotel. I don’t want to eat later, nor cook a separate meal for him and be clearing up at up to 8.30pm. He arrives back somewhere between 5.30 - 8.15pm.

Our contract only states that I will provide basic breakfast items. I am under no obligation to provide any other meals, although I am concerned that it might appear so through custom/ practice.

I’ve already told him that I am not prepared to change the timing of my meal, but it hasn’t stopped him mentioning it.

I am considering withdrawing the offer of evening meals altogether.

I am posting here to try to get a balanced view.

In other ways he is a good fit as a lodger, although there have obviously been some niggles.

If you’re not interested in celeb gossip feel free to ignore. I’m just watching her reality show on BBC.

Stacey Solomon has made her living, and a very good one at that, by selling her life. Her sister and her dad have also followed in her footsteps.

She now has 3 reality programmes, she also does Instagram on which she’s spent years documenting her life, her children’s lives, showing her followers round her house and her renovations. She films her children all the time including her eldest failing his GCSEs, his job interview and showing her followers their bedrooms.

On her reality show she has a run in with a photographer where she complains that she’s entitled to privacy. The photographer argues that people wouldn’t have an interest if she didn’t post on Instagram. She then argues that she doesn’t post her address (however it’s very obvious where she lives). She also complains that she’s had a photographer turn up at her nephews football tournament and it’s unfair as there are children there.

Aibu to think she’s a hypocrite, she has no real talent that she can make money off other than being a TV/insta personality.

okay so i saw her in london this weekend and it's bothering me.
shes between 45 and 55. Blonde flicky shirt bob. sexy eyes. very pretty with a distinctive english, posh, clipped accent. fairly tall.

It was DSS birthday today (13).

He was with us this week but went back to his mum's yesterday straight from school so I haven't really seen him since Weds evening.

To cut a short story shorter, it just completely slipped my mind this morning to text him to say happy birthday. DH leaves for work earlier than me and I've got to get our DC up and dressed and out to school then myself onto work etc.. I just completely forgot in all honesty.

I appreciate not fantastic but surely not crime of the century either?

DH asked me when I got in earlier and I basically said oh crap no I haven't I'll do it now and sent DSS a text.

DH is making it into such a big deal. Going on and on about how he can't believe I forgot, I wouldn't if it was X or Y (our DCs names). Then started asking me if I'd reminded my parents it was his birthday... Again no I haven't. DSS is not close to my parents but occasionally if I do mention it they'll pop a tenner in a card but haven't this time as I haven't spoken to them and told them about the birthday. They don't get him something every year so not like it's expected.

DSS does not want for anything, he got everything he wanted and more for his b day (which I also contributed to).

AIBU to tell DH to get a grip about me forgetting to text?

In the future?

Please help me. I’m breaking down. My partner and I have been having relationship problems for a while but after he came back to me in August I thought we were working on things.

We’ve been together 12 years. We have a 10 year old daughter. He’s my best friend my only friend.

Since Monday he’s been saying he doesn’t want to be with me anymore. I’ve begged and pleaded and promised everything but he’s been so cold and adamant that he doesn’t love me like he used to and it’s over.

Cut to tonight he comes back home and I start up crying and begging him to give me another chance but he wasn’t interested then I ask him if he’s met someone else AND HE SAID YES. He won’t tell me who she is. He won’t tell me where he met her. Apparently it’s been going on for 5 days and nothing has happened just talking. That means nothing to me, we’ve been loyal to each other our whole relationship even during breaks (about a week long before he comes back) in my eyes he might as well have fucked her.

I’m completely in shock. We’ve been here before and always managed to work things out over a week or two but never anything like this.

I don’t even know what else to write here I’m shaking and crying and just want to kill myself. And I just want him back so badly STILL.

Please help if you can I have no one else to turn to and I don’t know how to get through the next hour let alone the rest of my life without him.

Thank you for reading x

Going to a fabulous 40th birthday party in Malaga in December! Stunning venue, no expense spared.

I have no idea what to wear! There’s no dress code, but it will be a fabulous event, so anything goes!

I’m 48, 5ft 3 and a curvy size 10 - help!! I’d love a dress that makes me feel great, but don’t know where to start. Happy with bold colours and equally happy with black. Any idea? Have you seen anything with the wow factor?

thank you!! 🤩

My family (mum and her partner, my sister and half sister and their families) are due to visit and stay with us for a few days over Xmas. We live about 150 miles from them so we alternate spending Christmas in the two places, although we always go out for Christmas dinner. My half sister doesn’t always join us but does sometimes and is this year.

We all agreed on the restaurant for Christmas Day a few months ago and I booked it. My half sister is now saying she can’t afford it and wants us to host Xmas dinner at home. We really don’t want to do that as we look forward to going out for it, not cooking and just relaxing.

I’ve suggested that she comes before or after Xmas for a day or two instead but she thinks that’s unfair and doesn’t see why we can’t just cook dinner at home. My mum is siding with her and it’s causing friction. Are we being unreasonable to not want to change our plans and not want to have to cook dinner ourselves when we were looking forward to going out?

Hoping for some ideas. We have an integrated garage in our house with a bedroom over it. It's a sizable bedroom so I want to use it otherwise it's a waste. However, it's much cooler than other rooms. It has two radiators in there, albeit I think older, possibly original ones from when the house was built in 1997 (some radiators in what was children's bedrooms have clearly been replaced by the previous owners). We have had new carpet and underlay as the old carpet when we moved in was threadbare. But it's still much cooler.

I tested it earlier moving the thermostat from downstairs to the room upstairs - downstairs was 20.5 and the room over garage was 19 (and it's still dipping). I know 19 is warm to some but I generally like to keep the house at 20.5 or so, I am a person who feels the cold.

Any ideas or suggestions? I'd like to use it as a nursery in the future as it's the best sized bedroom for this but worried about the cold in there.

Hit me up with your favourite Chelsea boots that are black leather and have a decent grippy sole for autumn leaves but look smart with a skirt or dress.

There are so many online and they all look similar so looking for your favourites. Will consider ones with a zip top for steadiness.

I am very comfort driven. Size 7.5.