Dh has told me he’s ’got The ick’

That over the last few months he’s needed more time away from me as ‘little things were annoying’ and he can’t put up with certain ‘habits’ anymore. He thinks I’m lazy and he worries about the image I have and how that will affect the dc.

We used to go out once a week but he stopped that two weeks ago and made excuses. He’s now said he can’t stand the way I act when out and how I eat. I’m quite shy and he finds it ‘embarrassing’ . He’s very chatty and sociable.

I don’t know what I’m meant to do ?

14 years ago I received the most glorious white bone china cake stand with glass dome as a wedding present from my grandmother. It was a Royal Doulton collab and it was simple yet refined and absolutely perfect for fitting all my oversized kid’s birthday cakes onto. It’s now smashed.
The incident involved a disagreement over a second piece of cake and the lid was placed down too roughly and it shattered everywhere, the base split in two.
It wasn’t me who broke it but I’m now looking for a fitting replacement. Nothing in the shops I can find seems as elegant or beautiful. The ones I find have knobs at the top that seem disproportionally oversized and the base not elegant or they are too plain.
Maybe I’m looking in the wrong places.
Does anyone have any recommendations?

Weekly newsletter today from DC’s secondary school contained a paragraph on uniform including the fact that there have been complaints from the public about “pupils who choose to wear skirts” rolling them up to wear them extremely short. It finishes with asking parents to speak to their children about why this is “not a good idea”.

Now, apart from the fact I assume that they must mean girls, is this not clearly implying that short skirts = making themselves vulnerable and if is, then if anything bad happens as a result it is their own fault? I thought we had moved beyond this kind of nonsense.

I only have boys at the school not girls but want to write to the head to point out how utterly sexist this is. DH agrees with me pov but thinks I shouldn’t write. AIBU?

Good afternoon
I am looking for some prospective please.
I dont know if I am being irrational.
I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years live together ect.
I know he used to listen to Asmr before we met, I found out today he has still been listening to it. I didn't know. It is a woman talking and whispering one title was "tingles all over your head".
He works nights so we dont always sleep together. When I found out I was and still am so upset. I know it is my feelings but I cant help it. I know people have made it sexual. I think in this case it is purely for relaxation.
It has sent me on a major spiral. Please calm me down. I feel so unwanted and hurt.

I've booked a stay in premier over the summer booked last year before I knew I was pregnant and we are now a family of 5. Will they allow 2 adults plus 3 kids to a room?

Last year I was offered a place in the London Marathon via the Ballot. It is something I have always wanted to do, albeit I am an occasional runner (I ran 5k maybe every few weeks, much prefer walking or swimning) but it's a bucket list thing like i am sure it is for many people

Everyone was supportive and really encouraging, father in law brought me some running related gifts for my birthday, as did other family members etc. Everyone except DH. He threw the biggest strop ever, called me selfish for even thinking about it (we have 2 children 9 and 4) and accused me of sacrificing family time for some stupid dream. Says the man who goes to football every weekend, up ubtil recently worked shifts (earlies/lates/nights) still does shifts on occasion, and will doesn't think twice about going away with his friends

For whatever reasons I had to defer from last year (a knee injury which is now recovered and some family illnesses) and I still have my place this year as I was able to defer

Mentioned it to DH again and he refuses to talk about it. Point blank won't engage. Says that I he won't support me. Won't come and watch. Won't look after the kids when I want to go running etc.

I do understand that training for it is going to take time, especially early next year but it's also only for a few months, where as he has gone to football every weekend for 10+ years (including away games)

If this was you, would you expect some support for a short period ? Or am I being unrealistic?

I have fairly big boobs (was a 32F pre kids no idea what it is now with 3 little kids and years of breastfeeding! not perky anymore either super soft instead). Not sure what my actual size is now.

Ive always hated wearing a bra, could get away without wearing one pre kids and I was ok. now I feel far too self conscious to do this, but if I wear a crop top style top it is so unflattering - uniboob, boobs crushed into each other, weird shape, makes my whole upper body look a bit "off" etc. etc.I also hate the look of my boobs shoved together and up to show off a cleavage I tend to be quite self-conscious

what I want to know is does anyone else feel like this and have a solution? is there some sort of option for support to stop them jiggling everywhere but some shape too so they dont look so odd? ive looked at 'bralette' brands but they all are for smaller sizes.

I'm early 40's, short in height and a size 16.

Off on holiday in a few weeks and need to pick up some new bits - at least one pair of shorts, beach cover up, couple of dresses or nicer tops for night etc. I don't want to be spending hundreds of pounds - say £20 max for a new top, £40 max for a dress

We only have Next and M&S in my local town, and the selection is rubbish. M&S i always seem to struggle with sizing too. We have supermarkets but again not a great selection.

I've bought several bits from Vinted but find that out of every three or four things I buy, only one is suitable, so just end up putting it back up for sale!

Has anyone seen any nice holiday clothes? Where from? Any suggestions welcome!

I was talking to one of our customers this week who's late 60s I'd say. She said that if she had been able to look from the 1970s into 2026 in our town she wouldn't believe it, and would have thought it a dystopian film. That really shocked me. It's giving me the chills actually.

Just that really, I’m in my nans garden and I’d like to plant some the same, anybody think they can identify?

He’s been watching football down the road, is absolutely bladdered and has fallen into bed and sharted right next to me.

Luckily still clothed but I’ve sent him downstairs. What is wrong with these men? I am dreading the rest of the tournament, it’s a bloody Wednesday night and he has work tomorrow!

Anyone have a recommendation or a few for shorts that cover these…

• enough arse covering that my cheeks aren’t showing but not so long they look frumpy
• no iron / easy iron
• flatter a big tummy
• comfortable waist band
• don’t cut your fanny in half when you sit down
• on trend / young ish fashion
• not adversed to something funky

After a many years and some much more recent situations where I’ve realised that I’m putting other people’s needs before my own, I googled ‘ people pleaser’ and realised that the description is pretty much me.
I’ve tentatively started to put my own feelings first but I do feel a lot of guilt by doing so and have received pushback from those people who I haven’t put before me. I’m in my early 60’s so have had a long lifetime of being last on my list and of course, that has created expectations and assumptions from others, which I’m just realising is selfish of them.
For those who are people pleasers, how do you start putting yourself first more often? I don’t mean all the time, but just enough that you can still be available to help others but rather strike a good balance between helping others and helping yourself. It seems such a daunting thing to do but I’m realising I’m doing myself more harm than good and that I need some help to get more of a balance but to also not feel guilty.

DH and I are booked to go to Paris next week. The average highs in June are around 23 degrees, which is about the max I can handle. But the forecast is up to 40 every day. This wasn't what we were expecting at all.

I'm dreading it. The metro doesn't have aircon and neither do any of the places I've booked to eat (I've now cancelled them all). We had an assortment of walking routes planned, but none are going to be realistic.

We've spent a fortune on a lovely hotel room and Eurostar travel, so I can't bear to cancel the whole thing.

Does anyone have advice or reassurance or am I just going to absolutely hate it?!

It’s happened several times recently. The barista has made a drink that wasn’t the right specification for whoever ordered it. One of those things right? It happens.

Except several times recently, the barista has then poured that rejected coffee into a takeaway cup from the ‘having in’ mug and tried to serve to me. I’ve refused and been met with a fair bit of eye-rolling. Most recently I just asked for a refund and after I left a review online stating the incident had happened several times recently including twice that week and as a result I wouldn’t be going back.

The manager has since replied stating it’s policy and widely appreciated by customers to minimise waste?!

AIBU to think no one wants someone else’s rejected coffee?

YABU: I’m happy to take other customers rejected coffee.

YANBU: No. Even worse if the coffee isn’t the right spec and/or has been stood on the side whilst the original drink was remade so is then cold when presented to you.

For those who actively engage in communication with deities, what are examples of the most interesting things they've said (or otherwise communicated) to you?

My communication with deities has been very limited, but one recent experience that amused me was after I made an approach to Aphrodite, who told me, "You're unkempt". (She wasn't wrong.)

Was planning to return it once I realised it was 96% polyester but it actually looks really good on.

Have seen a few techniques mentioned online (metal coat hangar / hairspray / just washing and using fabric softener) but before I start interfering with the dress do these things work? Any other tips?

I actually felt my teeth itch when I put it on and I'm quite prone to electric shocks so may just need to bit the bullet and return.

Before I start this thread, I’m not talking about people who have depression or have a mental health condition.

AIBU to think that in most instances, happiness is a choice, and many people decide they just aren’t going to be happy?

I’m not suggesting that people should never feel sad. We all do from time to time when sad things happen, but at a fundamental base level, contentment and happiness is a choice?

I have friends and relatives who do nothing but moan about their lives but never mention that they have a nice home, good health, healthy and happy kids. Just always what they don’t have, and do nothing to change that.

My grandparents had very little materially but they were (or certainly seemed to be) happy and content with their lot.

Just putting this out for discussion as I’m not sure if I’m being reasonable or not.

This is possibly my longest ever post. I dont know how to shorten it.

DH, DD (15) and me were planning to spend the summer travelling around Europe and had started booking things.

Then DH got very unwell. He has spent most of the last few months in hospital with poor mental health. It became clear he wasn't able to go on the holiday and he expected me to cancel it.

I have refused for the following reasons:
DH's illness has hit DD really hard.
She was really, really excited about the holiday. It's the first time she's been properly excited about something in a long time. She hasn't been abroad since she was 3. She has also had a really tough year.
I think if I cancel because of DH it will really damage their relationship. Maybe that's me being dranatic.
Both DD and I need a break if I'm honest. DH has obviously dominated everything since he became ill and that's fine because it's how it needs to be. However I think it's going to be the case for a long time (possibly forever) so I think we need to minimise the impact where we can.
For the above reason I also think I need to set expectations. We cancelled a few things when he became ill and I dont want that to become the norm as harsh as that sounds. I feel like his illness can't control mine and DDs lives.
I need this. I need to prove to myself that I'll be ok. When he first went into hospital I realised how reliant I was on him and thought I wouldn't cope. That isn't healthy. I meed to prove to myself, and DD (and DH tbh) that I can do things.
DD needs to see that she doesn't need to center her world around what other people want and that she shouldn't let them stop her doing what she wants. It's really important she sees that.
I don't know when DH will be well enough to go a long weekend in the UK again, let alone anything bigger.
Financially, I expect we'll have to rely on my wage going forward so things are going to be very different and I dont know if we can afford it again.
So there is the genuine risk that it's now or never.
It just seems like the right thing to do.

As a compromise the holiday has been shortened to 10 days including travel and we will be sticking to the tourist areas instead of going off to random places like we'd planned.

I do feel awful and guilty and like I'm a bad wife for not putting him first. I do feel like I'm purposely doing sonething that I know will cause him pain. I feel like I'm letting him down and I know I will find the holiday stressful and challenging and it's really scary. Of course I'll spend most of the holiday worrying about him and feeling guilty and worrying about sonething going wrong. So then that makes me wonder why I'm doing it at all.

DH is really angry and upset over it. His anxiety is spiralling. He is feeling like I'm not listening and don't care about the impact it is having on him. He is also resentful because he will need to stay with his family while DD and me are away because he isn't well enough to be by himself.

Although, they have been very little help over the last few months so I dont know what I'll do if they wont let him stay.

They will judge me more than they already do.

My family will judge me. But my parents wouldn't even go on a daytrip alone. It meant that we missed out on things because my mum wouldn't do things if my dad wasnt able to go with her. I dont want that for my DD.

So anyway, I will be taking DD on the holiday and I'll deal with the fallout. But I was just wondering what other people would do? Would you disregard your DH and go on holiday or would you put or DH first? Please be kind. It's really upsetting and whatever I do is wrong.

Panic! the thread was ending.

A new thread.

This is a place where anyone dealing with elderly parents/relatives/friends can rant, vent, scream into the void.

There is no judgement just understanding, support and good advice.

Hoping you lovely Mumsnetters can point me in the direction of a brand of a 'non-wide' linen skirt/dress. Everything is so gathered and flared at the moment and I'm only 5'0 so I look like a walking tent. Have put on a stone - bum, hips etc.. post menopause, and now my belly 'hangs'. Feeling grim 😞 Am around 30" waist. Prefer muted / linen colours and no patterns unless floral.

We have lived in our house for 4 years and know the neighbours to say hello to, taken a parcel in for them occasionally, we chat sometimes but we don’t know them well. We are friendly but not friends. We are busy with work, kids and general life.

One of the neighbours has asked if we can take her to a hospital appointment once every week for the next 4 weeks. One of their adult children can apparently bring her home.

Technically we could do it if we moved things around without too much difficulty, but as we don’t know her well, we said no. She looked shocked when we said we couldn’t help and she walked away without saying goodbye.

I mentioned it to my parents in passing last week and they said I should have said I’d help but I explained we are busy and she can make other arrangements. When I spoke to my parents last night, they asked me if I had changed my mind and was going to help the neighbour out. I said no and that we hadn’t even thought/spoke about it since as we are busy. My mum said I should be willing to help people more. I disagreed. We are busy and have enough going on with our own family and friends and that the neighbours aren’t my responsibility. In my neighbours situation, I wouldn’t ask for help from neighbours who we hardly know.

Would you have helped? I won’t be changing my mind and helping but wondered if people would generally be more helpful than me. I did say to my parents that they could help my neighbours out if they wanted to but apparently it isn’t there place to. They said they would do it for their own neighbours if asked.

I'm fairly certain I am not but my neighbour's attitude has made me wonder.

Earlier today, just after 7 am, I was sitting at the bottom of my garden on the bench drinking tea and just listening to the birds and looking at my flower bed. Our garden is that of a typical London Victorian terrace, surrounded on 3 sides by other gardens. I was probably 2 feet away from the fence separating our garden from opposite neighbours.

The neighbour's kids were out playing, Not particularly loudly but I could here them (I often do and it's not a problem at all, we are all living in close proximity, that's part and parcel of it). Suddenly their dog starts barking very loudly. It goes on for a couple of minutes. I then hear a male voice saying "is there anyone there?". I say, yes, your neighbour, hi (we've never spoken before). The man then says my dog is barking at you. He knows you are there. I don't know what to say so say nothing. The man adds can you move further up your garden please so my dog stops barking. I say, sorry, what did you say as I can't quite believe he is asking me to move. I have been completely quiet, minding my own business and just enjoying my garden. He repeats it. I say no, I am having my tea (!). He says, but your garden is as long as ours, there must be space for you to sit elsewhere, and if you don't move we will have to take the dog in. I reply, look I am sitting in my garden and I am going to stay here for as long as I want.

The man sighs loudly and says thank you for nothing, I'll return the favour some day. I hear a bit of rustling and muttering and then silence. Kids and dog and man have obviously gone back into the house. And I am left thinking WTF.

Just a warning.

I have been totally and utterly scammed after following a link provided by someone posting on a MN thread this morning about Wedding outfits.

I thought I understood all the pointers to potential scamming but was really taken in for a number of reasons.

• I really need an outfit for a Wedding so my guard was down.
• The dress looked attractive and the price was reasonable.
• Delivery was apparently free
• The site indicated that they had a retail shop in an area close to me. Not close enough to drive too, but an area which is known as a really lovely shopping district
• The site contained a very convincing story about how the business had been set up and a plausible argument for the discounts they were offering
• There was only one of these dresses left in my size and the pressure was on to buy.
• I was due out for an appointment so didn’t take the time to check Trustpilot
• Neither stupidly did I see the very small print saying ‘sale’ items could not be returned.

I know, I know, I know, how could I have been so stupid !!

The minute I pressed pay the emails arrived

• I had been charged an extra £4.95 for Insurance
• The order would take 5 - 15 days to be processed, with no information about delivery

I challenged the Insurance charge through their contact form and was basically told ‘tough’

I then replied asking them to cancel the order and am being ignored.

In the hours since I have done some trawling, the very attractive shop front shown on the website, is in real life a Costcutter. The location of their US shop is a Pizza place on a highway. The business does not appear on companies house and their Trustpilot reviews are awful.

My credit card company say they are being inundated by scams like this and that I now need to wait to see what arrives before they can advise whether they will step in.

My only consolation through all this is that I only ordered one dress and that by the time they wrote to me offering an 20% off any additional items I might like to add to the order, I was becoming very suspicious.

So I have been scammed, am feeling stupid and incredibly cross with myself, but I have also learned a very important lesson about who and when I trust in the future when it comes to linked items.