I've decided to treat myself, but I don't know where to start.

Firstly I don't know what else to call the kind of bag I'm after, hence "status" bag. I like Chanel, LV, which I know some fashionistas like to sneer at, so please, if that's you, respect that we all have different preferences.

I'm looking for a lovely every day bag, that I don't look stupid with on the school run etc. We live rurally, and didn't before, so all my Chanel and LV with chain straps etc would look majorly over done and I'd feel ridiculous wandering round town on casual shop with one. I do sometimes take my neverful but I'd like something much smaller. Slouchy and comfy as opposed to stiff leather.

What's a casual but still "status" bag that I could go for? I don't like massive gold logos etc like the GG Gucci bags, or the ones with big YSLs down the front. I would like it to be recognisable as branded, but from close up, not from across the street if you see what I mean.

Thank you.

Context - just got back from a week away with the kids on my own. Was pretty full on, the kids loved it, am totally done. Husband was working but basically got a week to himself. He is now in a mood because I am not being more affectionate.

If I have to be honest - I just want to be left alone and a bit of time to myself. My oldest didn't go to bed till 10.30 on holiday i.e. my bedtime, youngest got up at 6.30 so I basically been emotionally and practically servicing someone else with no break for a week. Am done.

What I really want is to just have quiet time for myself. My husband instead wants to have sex and constant affection as he feels he's been missing out. I get that, I do but am I unreasonable to feel like all I actually want is not to be needed by anyone and left alone rather than jumping straight back in to basically servicing my husband. I know that sounds bad. I get that am a 40 something woman on HRT but honestly I just want a break.

Posting here rather than on the Travel board, because if you’re here in August you must love Christmas 😊

Where is the most Christmassy festive place you have been? I want to go somewhere in December, either a day trip, weekend or short break. I want it to be wonderfully festive, not just a Christmas market, it must be Christmas from beginning to end.

Not Lapland - done that several times already - but anywhere else at all.

So dd 17 just casually told us she wants picking up from Reading festival with a few others at 1am. I was going to go but not super comfortable lone driving in the wee hours knowing I might be waiting around a bit in a car park somewhere (you know what they are like with answering phones) DH offered to go. Then having looked at the mass exodus traffic situation, he says he can’t be arsed and thinks booking her a hotel in the centre of town is a better idea. I said no, anyway, what about her mates. Regardless, she’d be wandering around on her own post festival in a strange town at 1am. He said I was being weird for having a problem with that, no one else would say that. I said ‘Um. I grew up as a woman…’ he said ‘ No other woman I know would ever say that to me.’ Bearing in mind he is in the middle of an emotional affair with someone 20 years younger at work. AIBU to think that some of you would rather go get her (it’s a hour) than have her abandoned in a strange town?

DH has bought something for the house without mentioning it to me and I am honestly a bit annoyed.

It was about £40 so its not like he's gone mad or anything but its something we absolutely did not need and I would have rather the money went towards other things tbh.

I only found out because the parcel turned up and when I asked what it was he said he'd ordered it a couple of days ago. I said I wish he'd mentioned it first and he said why, its hardly a big purchase and he doesn't ask me before buying things for himself.

I do see that point but I don't really think its the same when its something for the house? Especially when we've got other things coming up that we need to pay for.

I am not saying he needs to ask permission every time he spends money btw. If he wants to buy himself something with his own money then obviously thats different. But if its coming out of our joint account for something that is basically unnecessary then surely its reasonable to discuss it first?

He thinks I'm being controlling and making an issue out of nothing.

AIBU?

Hello, I'd like your thoughts please. My nephew (9) likes to play with my children (similar age) but often ends up hurting them. That has happened a few years now but hes getting bigger and the hurt is dangerous now. The most severe incidents have been attempted drowning in the pool on holiday. My children don't want to be alone with him any more and of course I honour that and want to protect them so I supervise all playtime. But sometimes the nephew is sneaky with his behaviour and I see the hurt just afterwards. He is aware that I watch and sometimes says 'come over here where your mum can't see us.'

His parents do not address the behaviour. They behave as if my account of what happened or my children's account isn't true/important and there are no consequences or sitting down with him to discuss his behaviour. They simply remove him and find something else to do, but that hasn't been effective. Other members of the family say he's always looking forward to seeing my kids, but I won't have them as his guinea pigs for playdates.

We have a family holiday coming up again and my children don't want to go. I want to keep them away and keep them safe so do not want to attend but my husband disagrees because he doesn't want to let down family.

Your advice please. Is there anything I can do to make family time safe? l can't think of what else to do but supervise but that has not been good enough. If we don't go on the holiday, how do I explain that to family?

Thank you

Clothes accessories cosmetics everything.

I need to stop spending a fortune in pret or m&s during office days and be more organised with my lunches.
I have a long-ish commute (London), 1 hr and 15 mins or so, door to door. Office has a fridge but I am considering getting myself an insulated lunch bag to keep food fresh longer. I have seen some very lovely ones and wanted to treat myself to one but is it worth it? Curious to know how people use these. I don’t want to hold it with my hand as I commute with a backpack for practicality and comfort and want my hands free. They seem a bit too bulky to put in my backpack though once I also have the laptop, work stuff and change of shoes etc.
How does everyone do this? 😅

to not understand the appeal of music festivals.

I hear that music festivals like Leeds are a right of passage for teenagers, I never went to one as a young teen myself and I don’t remember any of my friends going either. Is this a right of passage, did I miss out? Or AIBU to think they are not really a right of passage.

Are we really on a new thread already! Only seems like 5 minutes since the last one began.

Sarah is still in prison/on remand, (for killing Theo,) and is toughening up in there now, hanging onto snooker balls in a sock to hit someone with! One of the prisoners in there has been threatening her and her family if Sarah doesn't get Kit to help her son who is in trouble. (But Sarah has dumped Kit!)

Ma Driscoll has been getting jiggy with Brian! Ollie is in trouble for having a go at Gary's son who appeared to be assaulting Christina when she was drunk on the floor.

Tim reconnected with a cousin he hadn't seen for several decades, (Richie) who went on to kill his wife, and now Tim and Sally are looking after his daughter, and Lou and Mick's girls are back with Tim and Sally too!

We haven't seen much of Debbie lately - or Summer, which is a shame, but plenty of mardy Todd who hates the world right now.

Bernie's aunt has just turned up in the form of glamourous actress Frances Barber, and has only a few weeks to live. So she is hoping Todd can help her with a Dolly Parton themed funeral. R.I.P lovely Dolly! ❤

Anyone tried anything at all that works on age spots (also called liver spots)? I've developed a few - one particularly large one, and its really bothering me! I've tried some very expensive serums (Cellexia,etc) with no noticeable difference. I use SPF 50 religiously. Has anyone tried anything that works - serums, cryotherapy, pigment-targeting lasers or chemical peels?

Adult daughter 22 is not a fan of roast dinners. She asked me if I could not do a roast dinner today and make something else which I agreed to. However I had a chicken in freezer that needed using up today but I did make a pasta bake which is something she likes as an alternative. I like to make a family dinner on a Sunday for us all. Daughter was disappointed about the roast but I explained to her I had to use chicken up but I did make something she liked as alternative. She said to me you told me you wouldn’t make a roast and she looked upset. She didn’t go hungry though as she had Cottage Pie after saying there’s nothing to eat. AIBU to of made the roast even though there was pasta dish as alternative or was she being unreasonable here as I feel bad about it.

Me and my sister had both of our children within months of each other. My sister was younger than me, ended up being a single mum and wasn’t very well off, so we used to pay for her children to do the same hobbies as our children as the they liked being together and my sister wouldn’t have been able to afford it otherwise. Her children stopped doing the hobbies at about 13 as they lost interest. All of the children are now young adults either at uni or working.

My sister has gone on to have 2 children with a new partner who are 3 and 4. She wants them to do the same hobbies as the older children did but can’t afford it. She sent a text today and asked us to pay like we did for her other children. I feel like there is an expectation we do it and my mum has said that we can’t really not do it for the younger children when we did it for the older ones. We can afford it but I feel angry at the expectation. My mum can’t afford to pay as I would tell her to.

We did it for the older ones because it meant our children could do the hobbies with their cousins. If our children weren’t doing it, we wouldn’t have paid. I can understand the argument of doing the same for all of them in a way but there are years between them and the situation isn’t the same.

Are we being unreasonable if we say we are not paying? My sister and partner both work but in low paid jobs. My sister has always struggled financially but I can’t help think having another 2 children was irresponsible if they can’t pay for what they want for them. It’s very obvious that we are better off due to what we have but I feel they look at us and think we should pay just because we are better off. My husband think she’s cheeky but doesn’t care if we pay or not.

Had an affair with a married man who has young children. I’m also married with young children.

Since it ended recently, he has gone back to his wife and kids and is living happily like nothing ever happened. I know his wife to say hi to as our kids are at the same school. Everytime I see her it kills me. I can’t bear knowing that he has ‘got away with it’ and hasn’t taken any accountability for his actions.

These feelings are made worse by the fact that my marriage has suffered so badly as a result. I haven’t yet told my husband, but I know I am going to have to if I want any chance of saving the marriage. I can’t continue living dishonestly for the rest of our lives. I assume he will (rightly) want to divorce me. Everything inside me wants to tell my affair partner’s wife what has happened so that he can experience the pain I am experiencing. The bitterness I am feeling is so strong. I want him to be exposed. Should I tell her?

Was Paul Newman, discuss

DH has a SC from a previous relationship a teenager. All summer hols I’ve done the childcare for our 3 young DC & juggled work ect I’ve asked him a couple of times to have the odd day off to come out with us or to have a couple of days off so I can work, all have been met with a no he can’t afford to. He’s Self Employed, our weekend to have SC & she’s announced her moms said she needs to stay till Tuesday. This is a regular occurrence with her not pre asking if we can do extra childcare ect I’ve said no sorry I can’t be the free childcare this time ( first time I’ve ever said no!) & suddenly DH can have two days off too look after her!

I'm feeling pretty upset over it all , our relationship has been tense lately and I feel very much bottom of DH list & this has just topped it off to be honest. But I’m unsure if IABU?

We're moving into a new house and I spend a lot of time deliberating over which colour to paint my bedroom. Green is my favourite colour and a lot of things I own are green - clothes, my phone, my car, my old car and much more. I considered other colours but thought I should go with green as it's my favourite... what could go wrong?

Well the shade of green I've chosen is proving tricky to work with and I now see a lot of inspiration pictures on instagram making me regret my choice. You will see from the photo it's not horrible but the problem is I also want green lampshades, curtains, accessories etc. Which is too much bloody green. If I'd gone with a more neutral colour I could've had green as the accent! I'd repaint it right now but it's a big room and the paint was quite expensive, I got it from Valspar at B&Q and they gave me heavy duty instead of normal so it was a bit dear.

What do I do, repaint the room or just deal with it. I think I want cream carpet but don't really want cream curtains, it's a bit plain. I actually want deep blood red curtains but most people in my life are telling me they will look awful!

YABU - it's fine (give me ideas for which other colours I could incorporate)
YANBU - repaint it!!

For about 18 months DH did all the laundry, but we're swapping jobs, partly because all our clothes now smell... I don't seem to be able to get on top of this, so I need advice! What I've done so far

• Clean the seal (handfuls of sludge, but it's still spotty w mould stains which I can't get off, even after following all the instructions I can find
• Used washing machine cleaner
• Run a 90 degree wash
• Used white vinegar
• Cleaned the filter and the drawer, and always leave the door open

The machine itself doesn't really smell any more, but the laundry - in particular towels - often smells horrible. The towels can't really be used for more than 2 days, which is hopeless.

I line dry everything - easy this summer, so I don't think this is a drying problem. In the winter we have a hanging laundry thing and a dehumidifier. I usually use Ecoleaf liquid detergent, but we are almost at the end of that, so I'm up for trying other things.

I either need to use non bio for everything, or to separate out my son's stuff (he's got horrible eczema-prone skin) which I would do for a while, if it allowed me to wash whatever has got into the clothes out again!

Suggestions? Advice? Thank you!

Not really an AIBU but interested in what people have to say. I’ve noticed on mumsnet and particularly in a recent thread in which the op lent her dh a significant chunk of money and people were aghast she was expecting him to pay it back, that the consensus seems to be everyone shares all money in a marital pot. Is everyone really doing this?

I am on my second marriage to be fair and my husband is not my children’s father, with no plans to have children of our own. If relevant, he has none of his own. Maybe it’s different because my financial decisions are made with my children’s protection in mind should anything happen to me. My husband is aware and in agreement.

We bought our house each with the same deposit and we have a joint account into which we each pay half of the cost of the mortgage and household bills, subscriptions etc and an extra 400 a month each which is just extra and saved for things like holidays or new furniture / house stuff.

independently of that, we each have our own savings, current account and discretionary spending. I have more in savings and discretionary spending because I earn more. Sure if we want an extra holiday I cover it and I pay for the cleaner because I earn more and I can justify the cost but other than that money is separate and bills split.

We own our house as joint tenants each owning 50% meaning my half is bequeathed to my kids although he will have the right to live in it indefinitely. a life insurance policy would pay off the mortgage. I have c250k in death in service benefit that would be 1/3 his (I have two kids each getting a third) if I died and he’s welcome to what savings I have (not loads but a chunk).

we can’t be the only couple like this can we? We are both very happy with the arrangement. Even when I was married to my kids’ dad this was our arrangement. Although I was the lower earner then, I was happy with it. Am I just wholly unromantic?

iabu: all couples share everything and you’re the odd one out

ianbu: it’s normal to keep your own money in a marriage

I’m on a bit of a goal to look younger this year (or at least look less tired 😂) and I’ve been researching and started Botox, Sculptra and tretinoin

I’d love to hear from anyone else who has actually tried any of these...

Botox- How did you find the results? Did it make a noticeable difference to forehead lines, frown lines or crow’s feet? How long did your Botox results last, and did you feel it looked natural?

Sculptra- I’m particularly curious about this one because it seems quite different from traditional filler. Has anyone had Sculptra in the UK for collagen stimulation, skin firmness or facial ageing? How many treatments did you have and when did you start seeing results?

Tretinoin - Has anyone been prescribed tretinoin in the UK for anti-ageing, fine lines, pigmentation or skin texture? I’m wondering whether it’s genuinely worth the irritation and how long it took before you noticed a difference.

If you’ve tried one, two or all three, I’d really appreciate hearing about your experience... especially results, side effects, cost, downtime and whether you’d do it again.

Or any other treatments anyone has tried that they would recommend?

Basically, what actually worked for you.

Mums, did any of you have gut feelings that pregnancy and children weren’t on the cards for you whilst TTC? My husband and I have been trying for our first for 4 months and last month I had a chemical pregnancy - I long to build our family together and to be lucky enough to go through the trials and tribulations of pregnancy and motherhood but I have a strange feeling that it just won’t happen for me, anybody else felt like this and then it happened, tell me your stories? Wishing and hoping that this next cycle is the one x

Has anyone watched Ludwig on the BBC? I’ve watched the first series and started on the second. Anne Maxwell Martin plays the female lead, and I am just fascinated by her character’s style. Her hair is a very odd bob with a too short fringe and looks like she has cut it herself with kitchen scissors. Her dress style in the second season is an odd mix of old fashioned school girl (knock knees, short pleated skirts, white ankle socks and big Clarks shoes), and 70s/80s woman - striped polonecks, maroon anorak. It’s like she’s dressed from a school jumble sale.

What style is this? Why have they chosen it and who dresses like this in real life?

I think I’m fascinated because its so far from anything i could ever wear (big boobs, big hips). And I love the house her character lives in - I guess a lot of the clothing choices reflect that 70s / 80s vibe.

I’m looking for waterless shampoo caps for my DMIL.
There are so many brands! Are they all pretty much the same? Thank you 😊

I took my two daughters, aged two and four, swimming at Nuffield Health. My four-year-old was wearing swimming bottoms but no top.
A staff member told me she needed to wear something “more appropriate” — apparently a bikini top or one-piece. I asked why, as a four-year-old boy would presumably be allowed to swim topless.
I said I felt this was sexualising a pre-pubescent child. The staff member replied, “I’m a mother. I’m not sexualising children.”
When I asked about the actual policy, she could only say that children had to wear “appropriate clothing”. I’m planning to contact Nuffield for clarification, but I’m interested in other parents’ views.
AIBU to question this? Would you expect a four-year-old girl to have to cover her chest?
I used AI to help make this post more readable.

I realised far too late parenting is not for me, although I still hope things will get better. I had a very unrealistic idea of just how much work small children are.

As a result the last few years have been some of the most miserable of my life and I’ve been wrung out, stressed, exhausted and depleted in every single way from every single part of my life.

Like I say, I am hoping it might get better.

But I’m told by others often with a game chuckle that I’ll miss it one day. That these are the best days (can’t see it myself) and I’ll long for these days in ten years.

Are they fucking mental or what?