Hi
I have decided to defer my little ones school place he started a few weeks ago but isn't get on very well so I am thinking of pulling him out and waiting till January when he is 5 years old? Has anyone else done this

Been married 20 years house fully paid for. He’s divorcing me, his moved in with new partner. He’s severed the joint tenants, refuses mediation now has about 2 weeks to live.

Hi 👋
Wondering what’s going to replace this viral bag? (Handbag style: not rucksack)
I have a couple; they are bloody brilliant but are they becoming dated?
I love that I can stick them in the wash and the cross body means I don’t have to make an effort to keep it on my shoulder like I do with a tote or a shoulder bag.
So those who are ‘on trend’ …. What’s next after the Uniqlo one ? I suppose my style is quite Arket/ Uniqlo and I would consider leather but I don’t like anything twee or blingy…… and I hate those camera bags that say RIVER ISLAND or MICHAEL KORS down the strap.

There’s concerns the state pension won’t be an option in years to come or will be means tested. Iyo what age group need to start not counting on getting the state pension, people in there 50’s? 40’s? 30’s? Or younger?

More of a what would you do in this situation , but basically I’m screwed and feeling sorry for myself.

It’s my daughter birthday tomorrow. I’ve spent a small fortune on her party, we’ve agreed it’s her last full class party. She’s been sent home from school today poorly. She’s not sick, but has slept all afternoon, has a bad headache and keeps going from hot to cold. being realistic, she’s not going to feel well enough to attend the party tomorrow. It’s a drop your child and leave party, I’ve got 20+ kids coming and it’s a morning party. So now I’ve got to arrange for my mum to look after my child, so I can look after all her friends at a party that’s cost me a fortune. Even worse? I’ve skimped on the goodie bags and planned to bulk them up with birthday cake. Which means I either give them half empty goodie bags and keep the 24 person birthday cake. Or take the birthday cake with us and make them all sing happy birthday to my child who won’t be there.

being realistic, there’s nothing I can do about it. But I’m so upset that I’ve made so much effort and she won’t even enjoy it. She will be poorly at home without me.

I’m between jobs at the moment and have decided to use some of the time to basically snag my own house.

I’m going through every room and making a note of all the little things that have mildly irritated me for YEARS, but which I’ve somehow just accepted as part of life. You know the sort of thing - not actual problems, just things you regularly curse under your breath and then continue living with for another five years.

So far I have:

1. Ruthlessly slimmed down the kitchen cupboards so I could lose one cupboard and fit a tumble dryer. Every winter I normally spend approximately 46% of my waking hours hanging damp clothes around the house and rotating them like prize livestock, so I’m disproportionately excited about this.

2. Reorganised the Tupperware so every container now lives WITH ITS OWN LID. No more rummaging through 17 lids while slowly losing the will to live.

3. Thrown out about 12 random, ancient, slightly raggedy towels that had been granted permanent residency in the airing cupboard. It now has SPACE. Things are FOLDED.

4. Replaced the sieve that hasn’t had a handle since approximately 2020. Why did I just... live like that?

5. Put bigger shoe storage by the door, so we no longer have the traditional hallway shoe landslide.

6. Rewired a switch so it finally works the way you instinctively expect it to work rather than requiring a tiny moment of irritation every single time.

Honestly, none of this is exactly world peace, but the cumulative improvement to my quality of life is ridiculous. I keep thinking, WHY DID I PUT UP WITH THIS FOR SO LONG?

So humour me: what tiny, boring, seemingly insignificant thing have you changed/fixed/bought/reorganised in your house that has made you disproportionately happy?

I want the really mundane ones. The things nobody is putting on Grand Designs but which have genuinely made your day-to-day life better.

Basically, tell me what else I should be wandering around my house looking for 😂

Do you believe Charles Spencer that Charles Windsor said to him during a phone call "we'll forget her soon enough."

I live in the south west. From October to March, our weather is 99% driving rain and howling wind. I’ve tried over the years to find a decent winter coat that keeps me warm and dry. I’ve found a few that work somewhat, including a lovely M&S rain jacket, but it’s a bit thin.

im considering just biting the bullet and buying a big waterproof changing coat from regatta and being cosy.

But does it look a bit wanky?! Is it okay?!

this is the one I have my eye on

https://www.regatta.com/adults-waterproof-changing-robe-dark-cherry/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=%7Bcampaignname%7D_16108952393&utm_content=%7Badgroupname%7D_&utm_term=&utm_brand=regatta&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=16097452002&gbraid=0AAAAADQdSE8zgQrK5ij4KWiKVriu-WZ3p&gclid=CjwKCAjwwrPVBhA1EiwAv_YO-URMzXzdUfe_4pedDIy1IwFhHmTq04jbmI2WidUesYp3VTPhi4AJvBoCfVEQAvD_BwE

YABU - accept the soggy legs and wear something more dignified

YANBU - stay warm and dry

Hi all. Unsure if this is under the correct topic as it might be a broader issue. So we have just moved DS2 into own room, he’s 8mo. He was in a next to me with me on the sofa next to him until now. He still wakes fairly frequently and initially we had the arrangement so we didn’t bother DH, but tbh I kind of got to like it but the time has come he’s outgrown it and he really needs his own proper space. Anyway DH snores incredibly loud and up until DS was born and started sleeping separate, I had been using earplugs which really helped. We are on night one and DS is doing great so far but DH snoring is worse than I ever remember. So I’ll be getting less sleep now. Obviously my main concern is wearing ear plugs will stop me hearing the monitor but no idea on what else to do. Has anyone got any ideas how I can block out at least some of the snooring and hear DS? Like is there any special monitors or any tips and tricks at all? DH is under the Dr for the snooring so he’s trying to get it sorted. I Have had a google. I’ve found a few vibrating ones but they are extortionately priced and so many different ones. I’ll spend the money if there’s a good chance of a solution though :).

Hope I'm not tempting fate with that thread title
This is intended as a friendly, kind, safe, warm and fuzzy place for people to share discounts, bargains and Christmas gift ideas both online and IRL. Please note the tone and intention of the thread and join with spirit as generous as DC helping themselves to the Christmas chocolate celebrations .

Here’s some useful information about how to save the thread or a specific post so you don’t need to have a message to check in for every thread so you have the thread saved:

To watch the thread - click on the little bell that has ‘watch’ under my first message. This adds the whole thread to your ‘watched threads’

You can also bookmark a specific post by clicking on the ‘bookmark’ under the specific post. This saves your exact place in a thread but doesn’t alert you to new replies.

If you have any referral links or codes, please share them on the referral thread https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/christmas/5577375-bargain-referrals-thread

A reminder that we don't use affiliated links on here please (I think that's the term, let me know if I got that wrong).

If there’s anything you think would be useful or good to include in this post then please do tag me and let me know here (or DM me).

You are all wonderful and I’m now going back to my mince pie and stollen (never too early!).

I'm 33 years old female.

For a few years now I'm feeling just "not right". There are many implications in my life which are staring at me in the face and I just need some advice or insight about how to fix it.

For a start ive always had generalised anxiety which I've never knuckled down on A.because my parents never believed in mental health and would more or less suggest anxiety was "trendy" or "made up" and B because I'm terrified of medication due to lifeling emetophobia.

I became ill in December 2017 with a virus and ever since have terrible IBS D. This illness is the bain of my life. I worsened after gallbladder removal in 2022. Since then things have gone so downhill but I'm unsure if its because shortly after removal I started working in a very intense office job. I took it on as I got dismissed from my last job due to the gallbladder removal and didnt get much success in applying to others. Ive been there for almost 4 years. The pay is pretty dreadful and the hours are unsociable (we also work every 2 weekends) however we get to work from home 3/5 days which caters well to my gut issues. I also have so many friends there and good managers.

Last year I began suffering moments out of nowhere where I'd feel foggy, lightheaded, strange, disoriented and just like something was wrong. I noticed it happened more so if I was overstimulated, under pressure or in a cinema or theatre. Im unsure but I believe it could be panic attacks as I feel nauseated also (never ever had this as a symptom). But what im also noticing is, without doubt on the weekend I feel horribly achy, burned out, sensitive in my gut and body. Right now I feel groggy even though I slept a good 8 hrs. I woke up to diarrhea and like I can feel every single body part. I look drained, old and like I need a 6 month break.

Im also getting periods that literally last 3 days tops. They are regular however, on day 27 or 28 but this month was a very short cycle. Ive been to the doctors who say it doesnt appear to be peri due to the regular periods. My libido is zero unless im ovulating also.

My parents live an hour away and always offer me to come back for a rest for a few months. I have savings but obviously wouldn't be able not to work but im paying for an apartment which is around £1200 a month until March with my partner so I cant exactly flee.

My boyfriend is incredibly supportive with my issues and if i leave i dont know what strain it will put on our relationship. I love him so much but I fear im going to implode if I dont fix things. We go away to London next week for our 4yr anniversary and these panic attacks and issues keep ruining our time.

I know this is a cryptic post, I guess im just looking for advice

I’m Gen X, so it was pretty standard for PE teachers to not explain the rules of team games. DC has started secondary school and played netball for the first time. I asked how it went and said how strange it was looking back that we were never told the rules of sports we played. She said they weren’t told any either! AIBU to think that this would have changed by now? Lighthearted thread btw.

Me and DH have set a household budget as follows;

All household expenses including food are paid from the joint account. We totalled them up, set a budget including a buffer and then split it 60:40 with me paying 60 him paying 40, this was my suggestion as I earnore than he does.

I pay all child related expenses for my son, school dinners, bus fares, clubs, allowance, clothes, presents etc from my personal account because the children are mine from a previous marriage.

DD is 18 and buys all her own stuff and expenses and contributed £100 a month to food which goes into the joint account.

I have another DS who is away at uni and I pay anything for him out of my personal account.

Anyway all that to say, he is not subsidising my kids.

We set a food budget of £150 a week, if it the shopping goes over this then I transfer the extra from my personal account to the joint account. When DS was home over summer for example I was putting extra in every week which is fine. His GF also stayed for a week and I bout extra treats etc and feeding six People so it did go quite over but it didn't cost DH anything at all.

So this morning I am going to do the food shop since he is at work and he has just given me a lecture about not buying shite, trying to get under budget. Saying how when he went last week he only spent £120 (I was away with work for 3 days so he had less to feed) .

Would I be unreasonable to tell him to do his own shopping if he is that bothered!! It literally doesn't cost him a penny extra regardless of what I buy!!

(We are very comfortable financially so not like he is worried about money, take home between us of 6k and total bills including food less than 2k)

Warning - DM link ahead...
Copies of Earl Spencer's sensational book about Princess Diana have been stolen from a lorry – just before its exclusive serialisation in the Daily Mail.
The memoir – Swan Song: Diana, My Sister – includes revelations about Diana's deeply unhappy marriage with the then Prince of Wales.
It also describes the crisis that engulfed the Royal Family after her death in a car crash almost 30 years ago.
Last night a publishing insider said: 'Earl Spencer has kept his silence for nearly 30 years and what he has to say about the King's reaction when Diana died is utterly devastating.'
But, in an astonishing development, the Mail can reveal that a truck packed with thousands of copies of the book was broken into after it was parked overnight in a lay-by in the Netherlands earlier this week.
Just four copies, which had been wrapped in black plastic to hide their contents, were stolen in what publishing sources believe could have been an audacious plot to steal the highly anticipated book of the year before it hits the shelves.

Earl Spencer's bombshell new book is stolen: Several copies of Earl's explosive book about his sister Diana - and how King reacted to her death - are taken in raid on a Dutch lorry | Daily Mail Online

It’s my 50th birthday next month and I would
like to treat myself to this new coat. I’d love to hear from anyone who has one before I take the (very costly) plunge! I’m more of a second hand clothes person so this is a big thing for me😂
I’m 5ft 2 and around a size 8/10 and am mostly to found in t-shirts, jeans and smarties trainers. I also go for dark colours out of practicality but I love the tan and I have red hair so hoping it will suit me?
Is it worth it? Will the tan cost me loads in dry cleaning?? I’ve promised myself not to wear it walking the dog but just on a daily going to the office, shopping, social, general life basis
Thanks for your thoughts! www.hobbs.com/product/skylar-trench-coat/0125-3920-9057L00-TAN.html

So during the week I’m up by 0630. DH has asked if have any plans this weekend and I said is like a proper big lie in. He says I do this every week. I’m usually up by 0830. 9 is the very latest. I would truly love to stay asleep one day until 10am. Don’t have any children at home these days to require me being up early. I just can’t stay asleep but am still tired when I get up.
What’s the norm for people these days? I know it’s a ‘how long is a piece of string’ type question but I’m intrigued as to whether DH or me have the more common perception as to the ‘norm’.

Hi I have a question

I’ve been with my husband for 25 years , married for 6 .
When we met I was a house owner and he was renting . He moved into my house then we bought a house together . I put my house as a buy to let and I earn a monthly income of £500 monthly .
when we had children I returned to work 28 hours a week and we’d put everything into a shared account . I earnt more than him , all extra , not a lot tbh got put into savings .
In 2018 he got a really good position and I left work so he could work away , build his business and we had a second child .
We moved into a bigger house and renovated it . He pays for everything that’s joint and has plenty left for a holiday away with friends once a year and if I want to go away he would pay . He pays for everything and I use my money from rented house for what I class as my personal spends , meals with friends, haircut appointments etc.

when I gave up work we talked about me having a small amount to add to my pension . This has never happened . I’ve not been working for 8 years and my retirement age is coming up . Am I being unreasonable to ask my husband for an allowance and top up for my pension . He acknowledges my being at home a has given him the opportunity to build his career and I acknowledge he works hard and has given us a good life that my wage wouldn’t have matched . I was a senior practitioner in the NHS so not on minimum wage . I don’t have savings because I use leftover to keep as repairs for rented house etc

I am done with M n S knickers - what can I buy instead that won't break the bank please? I was a fan of the midi for years, but a) I think the quality has deteriorated, the top band just seems thin and cheap and b) I have developed a bit of a menopause belly this year and I think I need something a bit fuller with some tummy control, rather than me bulging over the top!! Help!!

What is the usual procedure when collecting your pet’s ashes from the vet?

Currently heartbroken again because my boy has not been treated with dignity.

Will have to name change now.

I'm looking for some shoes that I can wear for a wedding abroad, and have absolutely fallen in love with these

https://www.aquazzura.com/gb_en/twist-sandal-95-new-nude-twihigs0-nap-nnd

I don't mind spending up to £250 for something truly fabulous but these are just way out of my budget. (Unless I get multiple replies telling me they are the most comfortable shoes in the world!!).

ChatGPT hasn't been able to find me any dupes yet. I especially like the thick/soft looking straps. I find narrow straps cut across/into my toes/feet too much and are so uncomfortable generally.

Open to all suggestions and ideas please! Thank you!

I live in Australia. My mother lives in Spain. My mother has been given up to a year to live. It might be my last chance to see her. My children are 4 and 6. We have no other family in Australia. Would it be unreasonable to go and visit her for six weeks? I considered bringing the 4 year old with me, since the older one has school, but I have decided to leave both if I go. The whole family can't go because we can't afford it and can't get finance. My sister is going to pay my airfare. They would stay with their father obviously. I want to see my mother but feel torn about the children.

Currently weigh more than 26 stone. Always struggled with my weight but lost a fair amount 8/9 years ago. Before that I had put on a lot of weight after being prescribed various antidepressants. In 2019, I was prescribed an antipsychotic on top of an antidepressant and that's when the weight gain worsened. Not eligible for weight loss medication and cannot get it privately as have a family history of thyroid cancer. Used to walk everywhere and now I can barely walk short distances without bad left pelvic/hip pain and getting out of breath. I've spoken to the GP and they made a referral to a hospital in another area, which could take a while. In the meantime, the weight gain is ongoing and I could die before then. Are there extra large coffins for the morbidly obese? Tired and trapped.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/videos/c317j8k4lvy9o

I believe Charles Spencer.

Anyone written a Christmas dinner menu yet?
If so how many are you catering for?

Also has anyone got any nice new table wear or cutlery? I love this side of Christmas!

I met the most amazing man. Gentle, calm, sweet. My nervous system felt safe around him. After a few months I raised that he wasn’t very affectionate/sexual and I am, and it was making me feel a bit unwanted. I felt like a friend more than a partner. I wanted us to discuss it. He’s never had a relationship before (he’s 35) and is very reserved. He said he didn’t know how to show more affection in a way that felt natural to him.

we ended up agreeing to breakup. The next day I went on holiday with my kids. We didn’t talk for a few days. I realised I missed him and was being stupid, I had the most perfect man and surely love is more important than having more affection? So I messaged him to see if we could talk.

the next couple of weeks was back and forth but we arranged to meet and talk. I found his messages distant and cold but he is very reserved so that’s probably not how he meant to come across. At times I got annoyed and upset and sent long paragraphs like an idiot. He told me he wanted to fix it, that he cared about me etc.

it’s been a month since the initial split. But only a week since we were supposed to meet and talk. we didn’t meet because we ended up almost arguing over how he was coming across as unbothered. He said he felt it was best to end the relationship.

the last week I’ve been trying to fix it, suggesting to meet, explaining how I feel, giving him space, and he has now said he doesn’t think we can pick up where we left off.

theres 100% not another woman, he’s not the type. I’m his first ever girlfriend, the only thing I’m sure of is that there’s no other woman.

this is gonna be the nice guy I should’ve stayed with isn’t it?

he said as time went on he realised it couldn’t be fixed because of the way it was handled, he said he’d handled it badly and regretted it. He knows how hurt I am. The initial problem of affection is pretty much not an issue is it, it’s now how unbothered he comes across.

im heartbroken. His last message was simply “that’s a sweet message. But I don’t think we can pick up where we left off, I’m sorry.”.

ive asked why. He hasn’t replied.

im utterly devastated. If we had actually talked I’m sure it could have been resolved.

im a talker, i will talk and talk until its fixed. He’s more reserved and avoids conflict.

I get anxious with the silence so rush to fill it.

130am and can’t sleep as anxious about what he’ll say next. I told him in my message that I’d missed him etc, I didn’t get any reply to that bit. If he told me his feelings had gone it would hurt but at least I’d know