Hi all,

Struggling with something and would like advice, opinions or experiences please.

Its Saturday and I've noticed my husband appears tense, distracted, a bit checked out so I've asked a few times what's wrong. He keeps saying nothing but then eventually I said you seem stressed and he said, its a weekend, im always stressed at weekends.

Its true. He does seem tense at weekends, I often take the kids out for a few hours on a Saturday so he can get a few hours to do some work in the garden etc we tend to spend Sundays as a family but today it really just broke my heart.

Our 2 children are very young and we both work full time so I feel that our weekends together are the majority of their childhood and I just want them to be happy. I want my husband to be happy and mostly I want him to be happy to be with us. He got defensive when I tried to talk about it further so im not really sure what to do.

I should note he has anxiety and depression anyway but he has a lot of get up and go and passion for projects and hobbies.

I'm just really gutted tbh. Been sitting with a lump in my throat since he said it and just not sure what to do.

So first of all I understand the risks of paracetamol overdose (including unintentional). I know the limit on paracetamol sales has hugely reduced overdoses. I know this. I understand this. I support this.

But surely for people who genuinely need it regularly there has to be a better way?

I have a relative who needs the full 2 tablets four times a day, and this will be ongoing.

The GP will happily prescribe but that is £9.90 a time for the prescription charge, for a cheap as chips medication.

So I have been merrily adding 2 packets to every shop. Then I was told that you can get 3x32 from a pharmacist. Great! Except today the pharmacist refused a sale because I’d been in a few weeks running and she recognised me and said she couldn’t do it repeatedly. She told me to mix up the pharmacies I am using.

I just don’t understand why there is not a mechanism in place to allow this. The pharmacist can dispense more (I’m not sure how much more?) with a prescription. Why can’t there be a system like a letter from a Dr to authorise it? Or a disclaimer form? Or an agreement that you understand the dangers of overdose?

I was honestly made to feel like a drug dealer today.

My Dd had her drink spiked last night.
Im sitting in ITU.
I have sons……. But wtf goes on in men’s heads.
For completeness, her best friend, was also spiked, but is not as poorly.
police are being crap.
Just why????

Hi, I'm looking for a dress for my 11 year old DD to wear to a wedding in Ireland in a few weeks. She's quite tall and curvy and starting to get breasts, but obviously not fully developed yet, do whilst she would fit say a size 8, most styles would be loose around the bust. Plus she wants to wear something reasonably fashionable but still appropriate. She likes brandy Melville, Hollister etc but their stuff is generally too casual for a wedding. Grateful for suggestions of particular dressed or even just brands to look at!

I’ve had very broken sleep so I apologise in advance for any grammatical errors!!

There has been a trend over about a year now of DP going out once a month with friends and getting hammered, his behaviour when returning home has increasingly worsened though. We don’t live together but when he goes out he usually comes back to mine to stay for the weekend as I live centrally close to where the pubs are.

Last night, he returns about 1am and wakes me up asking if I can ‘see to him’. I say no and go back to sleep, he says he will sort himself out.

I hear loads of crashing about so am woken at least twice, and he says he’s sleeping on the sofa. After yet more noise, I go into the living room and he’s naked, there’s a massive wet patch on my sofa, which he said is because he ‘sorted himself out’ - he was still pissed at this point.

I go ballistic and tell him I want him gone first thing. He’s still on the sofa now. I am not overreacting here am I?! It’s my flat which I worked hard to afford and he treats it like this.

Posted on here for traffic. But AIBU this could and does happen?

I live in a small village. I ordered a small item of jewellery from Vinted to be delivered to my home address. I was very busy with guests on Thursday and Friday. I remembered about the item this evening and checked Messages (not an app I use regularly). Read one from InPost saying item had been delivered and no pic. No link to anything.

So I installed InPost app to view pic. It shows a hand holding a small package near what is definitely my external postbox. I opened the postbox. It is empty. I have the only keys to that box.

Here's the question: AIBU to think that photographing a hand about to put a small package into a postbox, but not doing so, is a recognised trick? Vote Yes if you think this.

And if you this this: do I just shrug it off?

I have stage 4 of an interview process next week. They want me to meet them face to face before formally offering me the role. There’s lunch and then some meetings with the team.

Because the team are spread all over the country we’re to meet in a central location which is a 3 hour train journey for me. I arrive on the day with very little time to spare before the lunch.

Really struggling with what to wear in terms of how formal to be but also something that will survive the train journey without me looking like a crumpled mess. Or should I change just before the train gets in?

I need sleeves as hate my arms and have big boobs so need something that has a waist. Any suggestions?

I leaned into the culottes and polka dot trend this season and was delighted with this bargain in Sainsburys last week. I thought I looked great. Effortless and summery chic etc etc. Until 14yo DD looked up at me with withering disdain and asked why was I dressed like a Tombliboo.

We had a similar situation last year when I bought a striped teeshirt and they called me Bagpuss for the whole summer.

Just that really? What have you done that has really worked or that you can't go without? A product or habit or anything that you think has really helped you to look better. I am just in a bit of a rut and want some inspiration! Thanks!

I booked X through Rover to provide in-home pet sitting for one week at a cost of £431.
Before the booking, i met with the sitter, showed her the house and Pets and talked everything through. I provided a clear written routine for my dog. This included three walks each day: a morning walk, an evening walk and a short bedtime walk. I checked in with X regularly during the booking, and she did not tell me that she was unable or unwilling to follow this routine.
When I returned home, I found a hole in the stair wall, dirty floors, an unmade bed with a wet towel left on it, extensive dog mess throughout the garden and dried dog food left on a disposable plate, which the sitter would have had to dig through my
cupboard to even find it which is odd. It would have slipped on the tiled floor making it impossible for my dog to properly eat. My dog has a ceramic bowl and a designated area to eat which I showed her, so this makes no sense to me.
My dog had also urinated on carpets across four rooms and appeared distressed, panting and temporarily unable to bark.
After I reviewed the ring door bell footage, X later admitted in writing that she had not followed the agreed walking schedule. She said that during the first part of the booking she had skipped the bedtime walk, and during the second part my dog had received very limited walks. She confirmed that my dog had not been walked at all during the final two days and had only been allowed into the garden.
X initially offered a full refund through Rover and confirmed this in writing. I therefore contacted Rover and submitted a detailed complaint, including photographs, written statements and screenshots of X admitting that she had not provided the agreed care.
Despite repeated telephone calls and emails, Rover did not promptly resolve the complaint. X subsequently withdrew her offer of a full refund and stated that she had decided to offer only £120 because she had “walked the dog approximately 10 times but can’t remember” and cared for the car and house.
I did not accept the £120 offer because the service provided was substantially different from the service booked. The agreed walking routine was not followed, there were no walks during the final two days, my dog urinated throughout the house, and the property was left damaged and in an unacceptable condition.
AIBU to raise a credit card dispute? Is this futile? I’m utterly bemused as to how an incompetent and unsafe sitter can decide their refund amount!

So new bf (50) knows I won’t tolerate gratuitous contact with an ex gf or partner unless for very good reason.
It’s a ‘me’ issue. He’s never given me reason to think he’s been unfaithful , indeed he is an amazing bf of five months.
Again, the issue is mine due to past trust issues in my life.
I have a strong ill g that he may have been in contact with his ex gf to collect some stuff that he needs but he hasn’t actually
Told me this as I’ve always said it’s a dealbreaker for me unless it’s necessary contact
She has this stuff , he needs it and can’t get it anywhere else . He could live without it but really needs and wants it.
AIBU here to finish things if he has indeed made contact with her, met her and collected these items?
all else is wonderful .. in fact it’s been a wonderful few months.
He broke up with her for unreasonable behaviour with other men.
ive had lots of therapy but was badly burnt by my exh. I feel triggered.
Thanks.

For context: I (34F) have two boys (3 and 11m). I have help from my mum once a week on a Tuesday. 8am-5pm she’s at my house. All the other days I get no help and no help from my MIL either. I have managed my maternity pretty much on my own with my husband in the office 5 days a week. It has been hard with a baby and a toddler. My son only recently turned 3. Anyway I never bug my mum to come outside of a Tuesday because honestly it’s just hard work and not worth it. However right now I’m very ill. She knows I’ve been unwell too. I don’t ask anyone to help me unless I’m desperate. So I asked my mum last night to come today. She said she can’t come until the afternoon when most the day has gone because she has the gym. I asked if she could miss it this once since I never ask like this and she said no. Now im feeling so much anger because the lack in inflexibility shocks me. If my child had asked me for help I would go! Also she doesn’t work and retired to ‘look after her grandchildren’. So am I wrong for feeling annoyed and upset?

Travelling with small hand luggage only so can only take one dress! I’m after something for evenings on a Greek island. Either below or above knee. Possibly black a good choice. Need to wear a bra!
Does this perfect dress exist?

Looking for honest opinions please as I really don’t want to be that MIL that makes things awkward.

My son is getting married next year and I was thinking about asking my future DIL to come with me to help me choose my outfit. If your MIL asked this, would you think it’s odd and feel uncomfortable about it ?

There’s a couple of reasons I was thinking about asking - the first is that I know my future DIL has been to buy her dress & understandably isn’t telling anyone anything about it and her mum also has her outfit now which she also wants to keep a surprise for the day. So I’m worried that I might inadvertently go for a similar style or colour. For example I love lace but I know that could be what DIL or her mum has gone for. So thinking she could steer me away if I’m straying into their territory.

The other reason is that I’ve not been included in any of the wedding planning which I am secretly a bit gutted about but absolutely haven’t let on to anyone. I thought this could be a way to feel a bit more part of it rather than just feeling like a guest.

Wibu to suggest it ?

The Montecito diaries continue……..will it be Balmoral or bust?

I don’t understand why anyone would get their child an iPad or tablet. Especially under ten and while a toddler even!

I know this sounds like I think I’m superior having not done it, but however I asked the question it would have come across like that. I’m far from a perfect parent and rely on the tv far too much for childcare when I’m making dinner or need to drink my tea in peace.

But iPads and tablets I don’t get, they’re so interactive and addictive. I genuinely can’t understand why you’d get one for a child. Especially when there’s tv that is more passive (though I accept not good either!).

So you receive a text from your brother himself the father of a one year old, asking if you and your husband want to come to a barbecue on a Sunday afternoon.

Would you expect that your two children were included in the invitation?

Me and DH are lucky enough to have one wonderful son who we had after 2 years of trying (and medication as I've got a pituitary tumour that made me infertile). He's 6 now. When we tried for a second, it then turned out DH had extremely bad sperm quality. We were told we'd need ICSI which would a) bankrupt us and b) be a bit risky for me with the hormones plus I'm terrified of the process.

However - I've never fully gotten over it and feel guilty 24/7 that DS doesn't have a sibling. I'm 38 now and time is running out and I've just heard that my neighbour is pregnant with her third, I just feel like crying.

I kind of feel I'll regret it my entire life if I don't do something drastic now and try to get pregnant, at the same time I don't have the money or headspace for ICSI (I've got a history of anxiety so I don't think I could actually cope) , please tell me if I'll ever get over this!

We live near Heaton Moor and have started thinking about secondary schools for our children.

They are both doing really well in primary school but have no idea where to start in terms of secondary schools so any opinions would be much appreciated.

Priestnall used to be outstanding and wondering what peoples experiences are of it since its been taken over by Laurus?

Hi all

I finally had my wedding a few days ago and there was a big MIL incident.

A few small things led to a pretty big incident.

1. Despite getting a dress that matched the bridal colour scheme, she changed her mind on the day and wore bright red which clashed with the rest of the bridal party

1. Kept my partner back in the morning when he visited despite him saying he really needed to leave to get to the venue, to the point he was almost late - just so she could get photos

1. Knocked back far too many drinks within the first 2 hours and was obliterated drunk

1. Didnt speak one word to any of my family members, kept turning her back to my mum etc

1. Brought confetti despite being told we didn't want any and the venue didnt allow it, then sulked and cried when we reminded her of both those points

1. Partner was rushing to pick something up for a photo opportunity that our photographer had with the sunset which was time sensitive as he had to go soon, but she was pestering him to "spend time with her", he simply said "I dont have time right now" which ended in her crying hysterically and partner at this point told her to just leave. She then rounded up his entire family, told them my partner had "screamed at her" and got them to all leave with her.. All before the first dance

The next day, she's ignored all our posts/photos but proceeded to comment "beautiful couple" etc under other family photos of other family couples. The only photos she has posted, none of us, only her, and a petty confetti cannon thing outside her house.

My partner has always had issues with her and said this was the last straw and doesn't want to speak to her again.

I soon removed them from all my socials etc so I wouldnt get wound up more.

All my partner has received from his mum is the fact we upset her, disrespected her etc..

Am I going insane or are we in the wrong here?

Why is it so hard to find a cover-up?

Have any of you found a stylish cover-up for summer dresses, which are not the dreaded boleros?

Personally, I love a pashmina, but I know that they have Aunt Petunia at a wedding connotations.

Have you bought/spied anything this year which does the job? Thank you on Gurus 💐

I’ve noticed that some posters on here seem to have no idea what parenting an older teenager is actually like.

Someone will post about their 16-18 year old being completely out of control - staying out all night, drinking, vaping, refusing school or college, being verbally abusive, getting involved with unsuitable partners or simply refusing to follow any rules.

Without fail, there are replies saying things like:

“Just stop them going.”
“Take their phone off them.”
“Ground them.”
“You’re the parent - just say no.”
“I’d never allow that”

It makes me wonder whether these people have actually parented an older teen.

A 16-18-year-old is not the same as a 10-year-old. They’re often physically bigger than you, legally have increasing autonomy, can leave the house if they choose, earn their own money and in many cases simply refuse to comply. You can’t physically force them to stay indoors, attend college, end a relationship or make sensible choices. And nor should you.

Of course boundaries still matter, and parenting doesn’t stop at 16. But the strategies change. You’re often relying on influence rather than control, and sometimes you’re choosing the least bad option rather than the ideal one.

I can’t be the only one who has noticed this. I went to genuinely average comprehensive schools and had parents who just dgaf like most in UK. I went to medical school where it seemed like this upbringing put you in a small minority, now an ultra high earner from own business but still do part time work as a GP. DC are 12 and 14.

Whenever the topic of education comes up with other doctors/professionals they will say stuff like it’s the child not the school who determines the outcome, we’re not pushing DC, we’re letting DC pick their school etc

However when it comes down to it none of them ever put their money where their mouth is. It won’t always be Eton but it will almost always be either a private, grammar or high performing comp in expensive catchment area instead of a genuinely average comp.

It’s a similar story with paying for tutors and other parents DC being interested in prestigious but completely unrelated careers e.g. Doctor or investment banking who have obviously been guided by parents.

I do the same but I feel like I’m an outlier in that I don’t lie about it, I’m obviously paying/gaming things so DC are much more likely to get a top job. I don’t see what’s wrong with admitting it yet it’s such a sensitive subject with some.

How much are people paying to go on holiday this year?

Our stats:
2 adults 2 children
1 week in July to Lanzarote
Basic 2 star self catering apts, small pool, all clean and pleasant. No luxury.
£1800
Spending money approx £1500

We eat out for lunch and dinner each day, visit a music bar/play pool after dinner and do a few local day trips but kids happy with pool/beach/playparks. They could run up and down a wall beside stairs for hours!

I pass by some of the bigger hotels with the entertainment and activities and wonder if we would like that. Would anyone share how much they are paying for these types of holidays?

Just wondering how much people are paying for different holidays and also, as an aside, when is the best time to book for best deals?

We all have this, don't we? A pile of clothes on a chair in the bedroom that aren't dirty enough to wash but not clean enough to go back in the wardrobe.

Mine sit on a chair looking untidy.

Try as I might, I can't find a solution. Blanket ladders aren't sturdy enough to put up with daily use, chairs take up a lot of space, hooks don't work for two people's worth of clothes.

AIBU for being frustrated there is not a magical solution to this? Or is there one that is being gate-kept by the eternally tidy and house proud crew?