Does anyone have one of these? Are they passe? Any recommendations of where to get one if you have one? thanks thinking of this as a Christmas present for a friend who travels a lot.

I’ll be honest, I’m just feeling really alone and very sorry for myself tonight

In June, DH was diagnosed with stage IV cancer after months of steadily increasing pain. We have a three year old (then two) and a five year old. It’s fair to say I’d always been the ‘default’ parent like a lot of mums I suppose but as DHs pain levels increased I found I was doing more and more.

I am now a carer to DH as well as managing the (very extensive!) needs of two young children and I am absolutely exhausted and burnt out. I have lost my temper twice with the children today because they are so full on. I feel like all day they have just been shouting at me - instant mummy, mummy, mummy. Three year old has started a ‘game’ where she wants me to be her and she is me - this game involves saying ‘mummy you Sophie’ (name changed for privacy although I’m probably very identifiable anyway!) and I reply yes mummy I’m Sophie. That went on for two hours this morning and I was nearly sobbing by the end of it. In between that my five year old has a constant constant CONSTANT barrage of questions ‘who is that? Why is he there? Why’s his coat black? Why’s he got a dog? What’s the dogs name?’ Yes, I can and regularly do ask him to knock it off (obviously in slightly more eloquent language!) but he generally stops for all of thirty seconds and then starts again.

At home I’m on a neverending cycle of putting things away, cooking, keeping on top of the laundry, breaking up squabbles, putting dishes away, getting DH drinks and lunch, getting the children food and drinks, it’s relentless. The children just won’t leave DH alone, he’s in a lot of pain, so it’s generally easier to be out of the house with them but then they get no downtime and I’m aware this affects behaviour.

I know they are suffering too as is DH And I want to be so compassionate and understanding and I am deep down but it’s sometimes buried under this layer of exhaustion and irritation. They are constantly trying to climb on me, lean on me, grab hold of me; I find it so suffocating, especially combined with the endless questions and silliness. The simplest of requests are ignored, like please don’t throw cushions off the sofa onto the floor. I know it takes seconds to pick them up but it feels like they are just trying to be difficult which I know isn’t the case.

I am barely holding it together some days and this is one of them.

In John Lewis I was astonished to see tins of baked beans, soup, marmite and a lot more besides as tree baubles. Not only surprised but shocked at the price too. £15 a pop. I understand the novelty aspect but AIBU to think its taking decorations a bit far.
I hasten to add I thought their selection this year was poor.

We were at an internationally renowned theatre in Warwickshire over the weekend where we experienced the following:

The patron sitting one seat away from me, was talking to his companion and in a loud voice started talking about a person he referred to as a ‘Jew boy’ and described how his feet were so small. He then wondered, out loud whether ‘they bind their feet like the Japanese.’ (Sic) He also pointed at people standing and said in a loud voice, ‘Look at them in the cheap seats.’ During the performance of the play, he started talking several times, so I asked him to ‘please stop talking as he was at the theatre not the bar.’ He stopped talking until the interval, although during the performance he kept pushing his left hand between the legs of his female companion, stroking up and down and otherwise groping her. (This was a couple in their 50s or 60s!)

During the interval, after my husband had left to collect our drinks, the man verbally attacked me. He and his companion continued to berate me and argue for several minutes because I had asked him to be quiet during the performance. He then said that they (he and his companion) had had to listen to me laughing like ‘ a stupid horse-woman’ and then they both started making braying noises while pointing at me.

i immediately picked up my coat and bag and left to find an usher. I told the usher who called the duty manager. I explained everything, by then I was in floods of tears. Her solution was to offer us different seats or tickets for another performance, which we accepted.

My AIBU is that the couple who attacked me remained in their seats and nothing was done about them, surely they should have been asked to leave? The theatre’s argument was that there were no independent witnesses! I was left feeling that I was the problem as it was me who left!

DC’s dad and I do not share finances, but we do live together. We share two under 12s.
Last week (half term) I took the DCs away. I paid for everything (accommodation/ flights/ food). He sent £100. I then came back and sent him my share of the mortgage.
Everything that I’ve asked him to do today has been met with ‘well I haven’t just had a lovely week in X’, ‘you should have thought about that before you went away’ (like finding uniform/ doing homework).
He has just had a week of having the house to himself, two days off which he did the bare minimum with (laundry, hoovering, washing up). I have had a week looking after two children, yes it was a holiday but not luxurious/ all inclusive. Plus I paid for it.
We are not in a relationship so it’s hard for me to raise if I’m actually being unreasonable, I need concrete reasons as to why I’m annoyed that he seems to think I had it easier last week. I disagree and think parenting with sunshine is still parenting.

I feel like my feelings have changed towards them over the years. Yes I like to check out what women are wearing but everyone now seems to dress the same or have extremely curated expensive pieces that were given to them for free. So then it’s not organic and nothing exceptional is being created. It feels like everyone is just showing the most expensive pieces they own to tag the brands to gain popularity (yes I know this is how social media works). For micro influencers I always wonder how they can afford it all? Daily outfits of super expensive clothes, bags and shoes? Is it all on credit cards and loans?

Depressingly I have one or two friends around me that have expressed wanting to be influencers as people are interested in the lifestyle. Who wouldn’t want to go to beauty events, get free clothes and makeup?

I’ve started to explore style from socialites from the past, actresses, rummaging in vintage shops (even on Vinted), fashion magazines. It’s truly what I get my inspiration from these days.

So, do you all still follow influencers or are we moving past them now?

I work for for an insurance broker and a key part of my job is clients coming to us (and our competitors) with a problem they have and we have a few weeks to put together a report with our proposed solution.

Typically results in a brainstorm, narrow it down to 5 ideas, 2 weeks of actuarial analysis on those, and then a 50 slide PowerPoint to explain those 5 ideas and our overall recommendation for our pitch.

One guy never joins any of the calls throughout the project because "he is too busy" but consistently finds time at 4pm on the deadline day to start raising questions and concerns about our recommendation (cc'd to everyone he can think of obviously!)

There's obviously nothing that can be done at this stage so I have to send the report as it is and instead of the happy feeling you get after finishing three weeks hard work I'm left feeling a bit shit as the project lead, and he looks great for spotting something nobody else had picked up on.

AIBU? I think it is a really horrible thing to do to people on the deadline day of a major piece of work.

bit of a mixed one here and I do know that I have been partly unreasonable but looking for some perspective…

out for a family walk today (me, DH, two DD’s, my brother and his kids and partner and our Mum and Dad). My nieces birthday is on Wednesday and I’d asked her what her plans were, she mentioned she wanted to have a meal with friends but nothing sorted yet. I jokingly shouted ahead to my brother “have you not booked anything for N’s birthday yet?!” (We are a close family who often tease and poke fun at each other) and he turned around with such venom (almost) shouting at me for speaking to her about it, I shouldn’t be discussing her birthday with her, it’s nothing to do with him and if she wants to arrange something that’s for her to do. I was completely taken aback by his reaction so again trying to keep it light was teasing him for being grumpy and he stalked right up to me quite aggressively/hostile and explained he had been organising stuff with her friends as a surprise and that I’d ruined it. This then resulted in some harsh words being exchanged back and forward, which I regret, but I got quite upset (I think just due to being completely taken aback by his reaction/anger) and he started laughing when I was getting tearful and said “you’re starting to upset my mum”.. and stormed off, our Mum has Alzheimer’s and she was visibly ok but this felt like a really low blow to make me feel like shit as well as making out I’d spoiled my nieces birthday.

A total spiral of events that I just didn’t envision. I have since apologised to everyone who was there and also messaged my brother to apologise for my part but also holding firm on the aggressive behaviour not being acceptable but was I wrong, did I start this WW3? I’ve felt really emotional about the whole thing as what started as a lovely family walk ended in literal tears!

This is an old Hobbs skirt. With pencil skirt and smarter workwear coming back, I kind of like it but I also wonder if this will become “what was I thinking” item… https://ebay.io/m/gfSofJ

I love reading about the history of food and recipes and how we ended up eating what we do. Along the way some foods have become commonplace and some are sought after and celebrated (mostly because expensive).

I am here to celebrate the pea. That pretty and delicate little green ball that I can’t believe comes in giant bags for £1.50. How is it so cheap? Why don’t people appreciate it? A dish of peas with butter and mint is divine. They are so delicious and delicate and pretty. Did people appreciate them properly when they had to remove them from their pods and could only eat them fresh for a couple of weeks?

Other things that absolutely punch are sesame oil, sumac, balsamic vinegar. Why are they not more expensive?!

Last night DH & I enjoyed a rare night out. As we were waiting in the queue for our taxi home two attractive girls who couldn't have been more than 18 got out of the taxi & headed across the road to a local nightclub. As they emerged from the taxi I couldnt believe it.I am not exagerating when I say one of the girls was wearing a skirt that was so tight & short her bum cleavage was totally visible. I find this offensive & can't believe a girl would leave the house dressed like this. I believe its nobody else's business how a girl wishes to present herself but I can't understand why anyone would agree with this particular look.

I got married last summer (2025) and took offence to a comment made by DH’s best man. Juvenile humour at my expense. I remained calm at the time but told DH in no uncertain terms I would not socialise with him again.

He has respected that until now. Big row last night that I’ve ‘dragged it out for over a year and need to move on now’. I explained I felt embarrassed in front of family and friends. He says as he has apologised repeatedly I should give him a second chance, and be mindful that a lot of alcohol was consumed by him and he has ‘cut right down as a result’.

Maybe I am stubborn. But I believe that fool me once, you don’t get another chance.

YABU - move on and agree to meet up
YANBU - stick to your position

I have a mussel coloured kitchen from DIY Kitchens ( this colour is sold elsewhere)
I originally painted the kitchen in vert de terre from farrow and ball but I want a change. I’d really like to find a beige paint to go with this kitchen but I’m not having any luck. I definitely don’t want a grey/ beige . I went on ChatGPT and it suggested Shaded white by f and b but this was too grey. I’d also like to pair it with a wallpaper on one wall in the dining extension. Please can someone help, I’m just no good with colours!!!

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Helloooo lovely people!

Continuing on here with our daily steps and chats ✨
Generally aiming for 10k a day, however welcome to all whatever your goal!

Off we go..... 🚶🏻‍♀️🚶🏻‍♀️🚶🏻‍♀️🚶🏻‍♀️🚶🏻‍♀️🚶🏻‍♀️🚶🏻‍♀️

I'm lucky to be in a full time job, but it's incredibly stressful (I know everyone says this, but it's quite specific in a mental health setting with physical attacks happening - although I have been hurt myself, what has ultimately broken my resilience is not being able to protect vulnerable people in my care, as sometimes things genuinely happen completely "out of the blue", which means I spend nine hours a day on high alert mentally).

Anyway, two weeks ago something happened again and I kept going two more days and then just couldn't.

So I need to find a new job. I have an in demand qualification but I'm in my 50s...

Also the stress has really got to me, in combination with menopause and a couple of recently surfaced health issues, and I've put on quite a lot of weight, plus I haven't been to the hairdressers for at least a year...

I sound like a real catch for an employer 🫣

I need to do something to make myself feel a bit more presentable as I apply for jobs. I'm not in an office based career sonI don't need to look corporate, I need to look capable, rather than frazzled and fed up. I am actually very good at my job, I'm just in a situation where I've begun to feel hopeless and helpless.

So - I have long straggling grey hair. I can do something about this at least.

Would you colour it? I haven't coloured since before the pandemic and don't care on a personal-life level whether it is ageing BUT if I'm interviewing for active jobs I probably should be looking dynamic, and if not "youthful" at least not significantly older than I am...

Suggestions for cut? Do I have to revert to the bob of doom? Unfortunately I have a round face and I'm not remotely elven - proper short doesn't work on me.

Any hair suggestions to give me a lift back into presenting myself positively?

Just got a complaint from my neighbour for putting on a wash that finished 5 minutes ago.

AIBU to think that 9pm is a reasonable cut off point?

My partner and I are expecting a baby. We live in my small two-bed terraced house.

My partner's two kids (12 and 8, boy and girl) stay with us every other weekend, Friday to Monday, in the second bedroom, which they share, which is already an issue due to their ages and lack of space - it is also used as my home office the rest of the time.

We’ve been trying to move for 2 years but ongoing divorce complications have stopped this - we’ve been together over 3 years and the divorce is still ongoing with no end date in site.

Until the financials are settled we can not afford to move.

The second bedroom at some point will become the babies room. I’m aware people will have opinions on this, but there is physically no other option when it comes to the storage and things we will need for the baby, that room will have to be used for them.

The living room is not big enough for any sort of blow up or temp beds, and the dining room is open plan with the kitchen - which we intend to utilise as my new office and play space for baby. Further to this, with it being open plan it is near impossible to heat in winter.

The second bedroom is not big enough to have a double bed in, so we can’t even swap with ours as an option.

No other family are nearby, both sets of parents are over an hour drive away and paying for separate accommodation for three nights a fortnight isn't affordable either - we’re both self employed.

Our plan:

• Overnights continue for now with the kids in their usual room prior to the birth but with changes to the room setup while we prepare and get what baby needs.
• After the birth, we step down to Friday and Saturday nights, home on Sunday evening so they're rested for school and a small step towards the next adjustment.
• Overnights to pause once baby is 5 months old and we start moving them into the second room, they will resume as soon as we move (hopefully not long after this)
• Until then: Our Saturday and Sunday days, 9am to 7pm, plus continuing the other in-week contact my partner already has with them.

Their mum thinks we should find a way to keep all three nights, with airbeds or paid accommodation. We feel this is not realistic with a newborn and the space available.

And without giving too much context - most of the ongoing divorce complications are because their mum is fighting to keep the former family home (that she can only just afford at a big stretch) for the wellbeing and ongoing routine of her children as priority. A year before she had agreed to sell so everyone could move, my house was on sale and we had an offer in on a bigger home, which was all undone as she later changed her mind.

Finally - I know people will wonder why have you gotten pregnant when this is the situation, but with no end date or visible outcome to the divorce in site and me getting close to “that age” I didn’t want to wait and risk never being able to have a baby of my own. We expected to be trying for a while but have been extremely fortunate that it’s happened right away 🫶🏽

I would like people’s opinions on our plan, any other suggestions, similar situations or what they think should happen here, the last thing we want is to push the kids out but things are already a struggle with space, them sharing, their ages and genders.

Thank you

Another example of the horrors of surrogacy.

AIBU to think surrogacy should be banned?

Poor kids. What about the abuse of women who need money being used. None of it is morally acceptable.

“Each one of these defendants monitored the nannies’ discipline of the children that were happening in the three learning centers,” the district attorney said.
He said during one incident, a nanny had forced a child “to maintain a horse stance” and Xuan could be seen on video laughing.
“In another situation, defendant Xuan entered one of the learning centers while a nanny was striking a child, and instructed the nanny to strike the child harder,” he said.
Hochman alleged that Xuan also beat a child across the child’s bare buttocks and struck the child’s head.
“Defendant Xuan also lifted the child into the air by one arm, while continuing to strike him and repeatedly struck the child’s head from side to side with sufficient force that the child’s body lurched into alternating directions with the blows,” he told reporters.
He said the children were punished, physically abused and beaten “on a daily basis.”

https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/california-couple-21-children-born-surrogates-charged-house-horrors-ab-rcna601931

No major story. Husband and I separating to try figure out what’s next for our marriage. Been very happy but a difficult baby journey and significant mental health issues both sides have just changed us. I’m not sure it’s recoverable but we’re on very good terms and living together for our child until we have a longer term plan.

I have a very odd relationship with my family needing control and excessive opinion on my life. I moved away quite young because of this at the advice of a mental health professional. They also adore my husband to an unhealthy level, and I’ve always felt they’ve never felt I was worthy of his love and the marriage.

Anyway I took our child to see family for half term, and I let them know this week about the split. I knew their reaction would be bad nothing could have prepared me for how bad it was. I’ve been subject to abuse after abuse from one sister, complete silent treatment from another, anger and accusations from both parents. I bit my tongue for the few days, but this morning leaving I burst into tears and sent some pretty harsh texts. I just am so exhausted from their ill treatment and reached the end of my tether.

Sister has since deleted me from social media, no one talking to me, niece doesn’t want to see me as she doesn’t want to get involved. And I just feel so alone and angry.

There was no one else, I’ve no cheated or abandoned my family. Even my husband who takes full accountability for his part in the marriage breakdown is angry with my family as I’ve done nothing to deserve it.

How do I move on from here?

Our labs have decided that sleeping in separate beds doesn't suit them, and then tend to spend most of their time squeezed into the one bed.

Anyone got any good recommendations for a large (double) bed? Ideally easy to wash and keep clean. They are both mud monsters.

On a recent flight, my partner was three rows in front of me as we weren't too bothered about paying to sit together on a 2-hour flight. After we got on, he brought me a sandwich from his bag. The woman next to me realised we knew each other and offered to swap to his row to sit next to her relative. I thought, "Great," but he immediately said, "I'm very sorry, but I'm settled where I am." To be honest, I was taken aback, as he'd only been on the plane two minutes. He made some excuse about how he put his case in the overhead locker, but I said it didn't matter as he could still move. He glowered at me and gave me such a look I was fuming. He had no real reason not to move. Am I being unreasonable to be put out about this? It just struck me as a really weird thing to do.

I need advice on a sofa bed please.

I’m looking for a sofa bed. My budget is £250 maximum. I want it to be comfortable as a sofa during the day for two people to sit on and I want to use it every night to sleep on so it needs to be comfortable to sleep on. I might be using it to sleep on for potentially 18 months or so, so it needs to be suitable for sleeping on every night and me not ending up with neckache, backache or any other joint problems. Obviously, this is a medium term solution and there are reasons why I am doing this without having to go into everything here.

Ideally, I’m looking for cream/beige or grey.

I have seen this online. Does anyone have any experience of sleeping on something like this? Will it be comfortable or too firm?

www.amazon.co.uk/Folding-Convertible-Sleeper-Chair-Pillow/dp/B0HFN95C1Z/ref=asc_df_B0GT5CYWLQ?mcid=53042c8c53283c4db60961d7280c5077&hvocijid=13686182767993384971-B0GT5CYWLQ-&hvexpln=74&tag=googshopuk-21&linkCode=df0&hvadid=696285193871&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=13686182767993384971&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9046632&hvtargid=pla-2281435175938&gad_source=1&th=1

Anyone with experience of sleeping on a sofa bed, do you have any recommendations for something that would be suitable?

TIA

I should start by saying I absolutely love this young women and I want to get her a really nice present - I have about £50-75. I like to choose gifts that are useful and enjoyed - I hate buying random tat. My DIL is an engineer, loves cars and motorsport, heavy metal music and dogs. She's not going to appreciate toiletries, candles, jewellry or anything 'girly'. I am completely stumped. Last year I bought a joint gift for both my DS and DIL for their new house but I'd like to choose something specifically for her this time. Any ideas would be appreciated.

So, had thought DP was acting oddly, nothing I could put my finger on. We’d booked to get married which he didn’t seem in the least excited about, which after 30 years together, we needed to do for inheritance purposes. I couldn’t shake the feeling, kept asking him, he said he was either tired, busy with work etc etc.
i go down to the kitchen on Friday morning and there’s his phone - so I checked it. He’d been messaging a woman over 30 years younger than him who works in his building. She’d initiated the contact, but he must have given her his number. She sent him a mirror selfie to which he replies ‘Beautiful, thank you!’ - they’ve met a couple of times in her office, with him responding ‘can’t wait for the next catch up’. I’ve told him it’s over between us but he says he’ll do anything to make it better, he doesn’t know what he was thinking, he didn’t know how to respond to her! I just feel so disrespected and disgusted, I can’t believe he’s done it. I feel like I don’t even know who he is, he’s in his 60’s FFS. The weirdest thing is, I feel validated, like I’ve trusted my gut and was right. It’s like the niggling doubts that I’ve had over the years but never taken further, I was probably right every time. I think I should feel devastated but I just don’t, is this shock?