Previous thread: https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/telly_addicts/5571945-celebrity-traitors-s2?page=1

This is a tv pace thread so make sure you’re up to date with the live broadcast and yes, previous series (regular and celeb) will be discussed!

Please no spoilers if you read them online!

The story so far (as of end of episode 1)

Traitors
Maya Jama
Richard E Grant

Faithful
Bella Ramsey
James Blunt
Jerry Hall
Joanne McNally
Joe Lycett
Julie Hesmondhalgh
King Kenny
Leigh-Anne Pinnock
Michael Sheen
Miranda Hart
Myha’la
Professor Hannah Fry
Rob Beckett
Romesh Ranganathan
Ross Kemp
Sebastian Croft
Sharon Rooney

Potential Recruit/Murder
Amol Rajan
James Acaster

I’ve found out that my husband has been having an affair. I’ve found lots of email confirmations about hotel bookings, restaurants and erotic presents, jewellery. I’ve confronted him with this and he’s denying the affair. He’s saying that because he doesn’t get enough love and sex from me, he’s had to have workarounds to make him that little bit happier. I’ve told him that I’m done (he had an affair before stating the same when our kids were very young). I didn’t leave before because I was too scared to disrupt the kids lives. I’ve told him that I don’t love him anymore as I don’t trust him, and have moved into the spare room. Also I’ve told him to leave me alone as I don’t want him gaslighting me anymore (I had my suspicions about an affair, but every time I asked, he would deny it). It’s been 3 days and on the first night he came to the spare room for a cuddle and to talk. I said that he could come in, but it didn’t change how I felt. I told him that I have given my best to the marriage but clearly I wasn’t enough, and I don’t want to be ‘not enough’ for anyone. I said that I didn’t hear any remorse or apology about the evidence that I have found. He said that if I was sorry for speaking to him ‘in a way that he didn’t like’ then he would be sorry to. I honestly don’t know what he’s talking about. I just don’t think that we are compatible anymore. The awkwardness is killing me though. I want to move out, but if I’m honest, I don’t want to leave my kids and my dog. I haven’t said anything to the kids yet- they seem oblivious as DH and I are still civil to each other in front of them. When it’s just us we don’t say anything. I’m dreading the weekend- we always do everything together- dog walk, theatre, shopping etc etc. I don’t know how I'm going to survive the weekend. I’m sure he will want a chat at some point, but every day I’m uncovering more evidence of this affair and it’s making me so angry. He’s never wanted counselling, and for years I’ve been suggesting it. Now that I have moved out of our room he’s suggesting it, but I don’t think I want to carry on with this marriage anymore. Sorry for the long post. If you’re still reading it to the end, then thank you. Everything is all very raw and I haven’t told anyone about it.

still discussing the delightful escapades of our favourite twosome!

What occasion would they be appropriate for ?

https://www.mytheresa.com/gb/en/women/magda-butrym-semi-sheer-capri-pants-beige-p01216873

I’ve name changed as I’m guessing this won’t have happened to too many other people this week.

We have been away on holiday and my mum asked if she could stay at our house for a few days when we were away. We live in the countryside and my mum lives in a city so she enjoys being here for a change of pace. I asked what she planned to do and she said not much, just relax, read, go on walks and just have time to herself. I said she was welcome to stay, made up a spare room for her, made her some meals for the freezer and got other food in for her.

We have got back earlier today and our house is not how my mum would normally leave it, just little things like cushions on the sofas were left untidy, the bin and dishwasher were not emptied. We don’t mind, it’s little things, but my husband said that it’s not like my mum and asked if I thought she was ok. I sent my mum a text to say we were home but I didn’t hear back which is unlike her.

We have cameras that record outside and in the hallway so I checked them to see when she left thinking maybe she had stayed longer and was still travelling home. The cameras showed my mum arriving with my step sister, her partner and 1 other person who we don’t know. I can see them all coming and going over 5 days. My mum leaves about 3 hours before the rest of them on the last day they’re here.

I do not get on with my step sister and haven’t spoken to her for years after a big fall out. My mum knows she will never be welcome in our home. I feel so angry and betrayed that my mum has lied to me and let them use our home.

Since checking the cameras, I’ve had a good look in each room. They’ve obviously used other rooms to sleep in and some of our toiletries have been used. I presume they’ve all had a good look around.

My mum still hasn’t answered my text, I’ve also called her and she isn’t answering. We are really angry that my mum has let other people stay here when we only agreed she could. Obviously I will speak to mum but how would you feel and react to this? My husband says we will need to change the locks and we’ll never trust them again, which at the moment I agree with. It’s my mum and I’m trying to think of good reasons she would have allowed this and think it’s okay but she knows I hate my SS so there really isn’t any good reason.

This is intended as a friendly, kind, safe, warm and fuzzy place for people to share discounts, bargains and Christmas gift ideas both online and IRL. Please note the tone and intention of the thread and join with spirit as generous as DC helping themselves to the Christmas chocolate celebrations .

Here’s some useful information about how to save the thread or a specific post so you don’t need to have a message to check in for every thread so you have the thread saved:

To watch the thread - click on the little bell that has ‘watch’ under my first message. This adds the whole thread to your ‘watched threads’

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If there’s anything you think would be useful or good to include in this post then please do tag me and let me know here (or DM me).

Going on holiday soon. 6.30 flight and need to leave for the airport by 2am.

Should I just stay up the night before or go to bed around 8pm and try to sleep for a few hours. It’s only a 3 hour flight so doubt I will sleep on the plane.

Doesn’t seem much point in staying in airport hotel the night before as need to be there by 4am anyway.

My sleep is rubbish at the moment (menopause). I am getting too old for this shit. Wish I could afford a private jet to fly at a civilized time!

I’m 34 and I just found out i’m pregnant with my fifth i don’t know how far along because my periods have been all over the place since my youngest was born.

I have 4 dc already:

DS1 (7y 3m) pregnancy was fairly straightforward but had to have an emergency c section at 39+2 due to his heart rate being concerning . He has a dyspraxia diagnosis and been referred for an ASD assessment and adhd and dysgraphia has also been mentioned by school but generally at school hes doing okay he’s very strong with maths and reading and is in year 2, his teacher is pleased with him etc he is just struggling socially at times

DS2 (4y 11m)was born at 35+6 a VBAC and he was in hospital for 12 days for various things but mainly feeding difficulties and difficulties maintaining his temperature etc. Hes extremely delayed, didn’t sit until 14 months and didn’t walk until 3y 8m, he has a walking frame (and a wheelchair for longer distances) and has just started reception and is struggling with tiredness. Hes still in nappies and he has global development delay, hypotonia and significant speech delay. Possible ASD and childhood apraxia of speech although no formal diagnosis. He only speaks with one word and it is hard to understand for people who don’t know him but he is in mainstream school

DS3 (2y 8m) was born at 37+1 via a planned c section, he was also delayed like DS2, not sitting until 14 months and not walking until 23m, he’s still unsteady and falls frequently, his speech is also delayed and changes day to day like he’ll say mum one day then not for a few days but he usually communicates by taking us to what he wants, pointing and has a few signs and uses word like sounds. Hes diagnosed with global development delay, gross motor delay and a significant expressive language delay and suspected ASD and concerns about visual processing difficulties and he has feeding/oral sensory difficulties around textures

DS4 (6months) was born at 36+4 via emergency c section for reduced movement and he was in hospital for 9 days for feeding difficulties, low muscle tone and problems maintaining his temperature, he’s got generalised hypotonia, gross motor delay and feeding difficulties and recently had an MRI and he has delayed maturation of the white matter on his brain, it’s immature compared to where it should be at 6 months but other results were inconclusive and i’m honestly worried about what his future will look like and what this could mean. He’s not rolling or sitting and has poor head control and feeding difficulties, he takes ages to finish a bottle and sometimes the milk leaks out the corner of his mouth

They have mentioned genetic testing for the children due to their needs but I don’t know. I’m worried about what the results could reveal what if it’s something awful and I dont know what it would change except us knowing we passed something to them all / to the younger 3 especially an

Now the pregnancy and my head is spinning

Before anyone says anything we were using condoms because I cant take the pill or the coil as it messes with my hormones too much and MH, we had discussed a vasectomy but hadn’t got round to it

I don’t know what i want from this post. I had a miscarriage between DS3 + 4, DS3 was 11 months and it was a loss at 12 weeks but i had to have an erpc and it was really traumatic and the recovery also was as I still had to do a lot for DS2+3 and i really struggled

My 9yo neice is neurodiverse and can say some really hurtful things when she is worked up. The last time I saw her she told me to leave the house and when I left and I said to everyone "see you soon" and she replied "I hope not". I went home feeling really upset. We normally have a good relationship. Her mum sometimes tells her not to speak to me like that but sometimes ignores her. How should I respond to my neice?

This might be a long shot but I'm after some ideas for edible gifts I can give to people that aren't too sugar-laden. I usually make fudge/brownies/truffles/biscuits but as I give the to people on Christmas Day, they're usually over the extreme indulgence and don't really want any more sugar, which I completely understand.

I could gift things earlier on in the season but ideally would love something slightly indulgent but not crazy that I can give on Christmas Day. This is the only thing I've found so far but keen for more ideas if anyone has any!

https://joyfoodsunshine.com/dark-chocolate-sea-salt-cashew-clusters/

we are in financial difficulty. I do not want to tell anyone that is the reason for not going away. We have a super holiday coming up over xmas, we paid for that in full over a year ago, before things got really bad. To not go on the upcoming holiday would mean losing the money as too late for any refund. So we will go (it's all inc so spending money should be very little). My friend will then say something along the lines of '' you can afford to go your super holiday but not one with me''.

What do I say to friend ? she will be more than pissed off at me.

This eBay seller is having a laugh, surely?

‘Tis soon the season.
Hate tights and in the post used to wear Superdrug hold ups that were great.
Superdrug near us closed down.
Last year tried a few brands on Amazon but they were rubbish…
Grateful for any recommendations…

Beauty advent calendars thread 10 for spoilers, offers and stock updates 🎀💐🎀💐🎀

Welcome to Thread 10🎉
A huge thank you to @OvaHere, @JoRaRaRa and @Thelifeofawife,@ilovepond@26inprogress
for the previous threads, and to everyone who has been sharing spoilers, information. links, bargains, discount codes and enabling each other over the first 8 threads. ❤️
As agreed, we're taking it in turns to start each new thread this year. If this thread starts getting close to the reply limit, please post to let everyone know you're happy to start the next one so we can avoid duplicate threads.
🎅 A few festive housekeeping notes:
🎁 This thread contains spoilers.
🎄 Please be kind and respectful to one another.
💸 No judging anyone for their purchasing choices (or how many calendars they buy... we're all enablers here! 😂).
🎀 Feel free to share spoilers, offers, discount codes, GWPs, delivery updates and stock alerts.
🎁 Available Now:
Boots:
www.boots.com/christmas/advent-calendars/advent-calendar-waiting-list
Luxe £150
beauty-detective.com/boots-beauty-advent-calendar-2026/
Fragrance £90
beauty-detective.com/boots-12-days-of-scent-advent-calendar-2026/
Skin £70
beauty-detective.com/boots-24-days-of-skin-advent-calendar-2026/
Liberty – £285 (Beauty Drop members receive £25 off). Now on general sale:
www.libertylondon.com/uk/features/beauty/beauty-advent-calendar#
Unboxing
P. Louise – £250. Available to pre-order with payment instalments available:
https://plouise.co.uk/collections/wonderful-world-of-p-louise-advent-calendar/products/what-glows-around-2026-advent-calendar
John Lewis – £250. Available on pre-sale via the app for MyJL members:
https://beauty-detective.com/john-lewis-beauty-advent-calendar-2026/
Harrods Beauty Advent Calendar – £270. Now on sale online and in-store:
https://www.harrods.com/en-gb/p/harrods-of-london-the-harrods-beauty-advent-calendar-2026-000000000000284475
Harrods 12 Days of Hair & Body – £99. Now on sale online and in-store:
https://www.harrods.com/en-gb/p/harrods-of-london-the-harrods-12-days-of-hair-and-body-advent-calendar-2026-000000000000284465
Harrods Fragrance Advent Calendar – £225. Pre-sale sold out. Went on sale in-store 1/9 but appears to be completely sold out:
https://beauty-detective.com/harrods-fragrance-advent-calendar-2026/
Vogue Festive Calendar – £355. Available to pre-order:
https://shop.vogue.co.uk/products/vogue-festive-calendar-2026
Fortnum & Mason Beauty Advent Calendar - £275. Available now:
https://www.fortnumandmason.com/fortnums-beauty-advent-calendar-2026
Fenwick 25 day beauty advent calendar - £250. Withdrawn due to problems with the ingredients list. When/if it will return is unknown:
https://fenwick.co.uk/products/fenwick-fenwick-beauty-25-day-advent-calendar-2026
Anthropologie 24 Day Beauty Advent Calendar – £98. Available now:
https://www.anthropologie.com/en-gb/shop/24-days-of-beauty-advent-calendar5
The Fragrance Shop - Available for pre-order £120 members, £150 non-members.
Women's Advent Calendar:
^https://www.thefragranceshop.co.uk/the-fragrance-shop/the-fragrance-shop/gift-box-advent/p/76306
Men's Advent Calendar:
^https://www.thefragranceshop.co.uk/the-fragrance-shop/the-fragrance-shop/gift-box-advent/p/76307
Selfridges
Beauty & Fragrance £250. On sale 1/9:
https://beauty-detective.com/selfridges-beauty-advent-calendar-2026/
Fragrance - current thinking is that this will cost £225 and launch around 30/9-1/10:
https://beauty-detective.com/selfridges-fragrance-advent-calendar-2026/
Elle £197 or £187 if you joined the waitlist or with MissBoux’s code available on her unboxing video:
https://beauty-detective.com/elle-advent-calendar-2026/
LookFantastic Beauty. Available for pre-order:
https://www.lookfantastic.com/p/beauty-box/the-beauty-advent-calendar-worth-over-665/17691363/
LookFantastic Fragrance. Available for pre-order:
https://www.lookfantastic.com/p/beauty-box/the-fragrance-advent-calendar-worth-over-530/17691405/
Glossybox. £90 or £75 for subscribers. Code: KAREN5 may give £5 off the £90. Available now:
https://www.glossybox.co.uk/p/beauty-box/glossybox-2026-advent-calendar-worth-over-645/17691528/
OK Beauty Box advent/Hannah Martin. Available now £109:
https://www.okbeautybox.co.uk/products/the-ok-beauty-box-advent-calendar?srsltid=AfmBOoppTH5x1vrf3PT8oCWpKiUj111T5PdA8IBPKCjA9SYOpugUFCBJ
Cult Beauty £245 - £20 gift voucher back when buying at launch 03/09 early access.
https://www.cultbeauty.co.uk/c/advent-calendar/
Harvey Nichols: Due to the recent takeover, it’s unclear if these a/cs are still going ahead for 2026. Details TBC.
Beauty:
https://www.harveynichols.com/harvey-nichols/harvey-nichols-beauty-advent-calendar-2026-75896-258491/
Fragrance:
https://www.harveynichols.com/harvey-nichols/harvey-nichols-12-days-of-fragrance-advent-calendar-2026-75906-258490/
John Lewis Fragrance £99 - appeared briefly for sale 1/9 online but this seems to have been a glitch. The calendar is either out of stock or withdrawn. It MAY reappear 21/9, (its original release date):
https://beauty-detective.com/john-lewis-fragrance-advent-calendar-2026/
Space NK £275 - available now in-store and online:
https://www.spacenk.com/uk/gifts/beauty-advent-calendars/beauty-advent-calendar-MUK200063764.html
Oh My Cream £195 with 20% off for new customers with code: WELCOME20:
https://ohmycream.co.uk//products/advent-calendar-lrnce-oh-my-cream?
YESSTYLE: $164.99 5% off with code: PAULAYES
Early access: 29/9 3am GMT
General access: 6/10 3am GMT
https://beautycalendar.com/yesstyle-advent-calendar-2026/
Sephora UK
Sephora Favourites: £235 available for pre order:
https://www.sephora.co.uk/p/sephora-favorites-advent-calendar?
Next £150 available now:
https://beauty-detective.com/next-beauty-advent-calendar-2026
Debenhams £120
https://www.debenhams.com/pages/beauty-advent-calendar
PURESEOUL £140 (first year they are doing an advent)
beauty-detective.com/pureseoul-advent-calendar-2026/
Holland Barrett: £60 - available now:
https://www.hollandandbarrett.com/shop/product/beauty-advent-calendar-6101407249?
Diptyque: £420 - available now:
uk.diptyqueparis.com/en-uk/products/advent-calendar-25-scented-treasures-xm26advent?
Jo Malone: £375 - available now;
https://www.jomalone.co.uk/product/26322/107822/gift-sets/christmas-kist-advent-calendar?
Jo Loves Waitlist:
https://www.joloves.com/pages/a-jo-loves-advent-calendar?
💄 More Calendars & Spoilers
Rather than making the opening post a mile long, here's a brilliant roundup of lots more advent calendars and the latest spoilers, including Charlotte Tilbury, Elemis, Lancôme, Tatcha, NEOM, Neal's Yard Remedies, and many more as they're announced:
👉 ^https://beauty-detective.com/category/beauty-advent-calendars^/ 👈

I haven’t updated lists or availability, but I’m sure we all know what’s going on 😀

Please help me! My son is getting married in 8 weeks and I haven’t a clue what to wear. So far I’ve ordered three dresses online (Coast, Lavish Alice and Florere) and have sent them all back. Earlier this week I had a personal stylist appointment at John Lewis, bought 3 items (Hobbs dress, Reiss dress and Phase Eight jumpsuit), but not sure any of them are right. Also ordered a jumpsuit from Me+Em, not yet received. I don’t know if that will be right either, I know it will need shortening about 6 inches!
I’m 5’3, 9st 6, have lost 7 stone over last 3 years. Blue eyes, brown hair/blond highlights. i think the colours that suit me best are greens/golds/sandy but not at all rigid except that pastel colours make me look washed out.
There’s a register office wedding service and then the bigger wedding ‘do’ 3 days later, so I need two outfits! Budget about £400ish for both. I just feel so much of what I’m seeing is so ‘bland’ and ordinary, I want to feel a bit more cool and funky but still smart of course.
Would really appreciate some help or suggestions of makers/brands I’m not aware of… thanks in advance.

My bother and SIL have struggled with infertility for almost ten years and has come to the end of the road with IVF. After many failed transfers, they don't want to try again. They still have some high quality frozen embryos, and they've ruled out adoption. I'm in my mid thirties with a four year old and a seven month old, and I feel our family is complete. I conceived quickly both times and had healthy, uneventful pregnancies and births.

I'm seriously considering offering to be their surrogate. I understand pregnancy and birth always carry risks, but given my history I'm comfortable with them. My brother and SIL are a wonderful aunt and uncle and would make incredible parents. It would be purely altruistic, and I wouldn't want or expect any compensation. I’m a SAHM so it wouldn't affect my work. I just love them so much, I can see how much they’re hurting and want to do whatever I can to take it away. I also can’t help but feel that I’m effortlessly living their dream life and I feel some guilt over that (all on my end, they have never said or implied that at all, even when we announced our second pregnancy). It just feels so much joy could come from nine months of my life, they’d have their long awaited baby, I’d gain a niece or nephew, my children would have a cousin. It just feels right to me to offer.

I know they may well decline, having already been through so much. If I do offer, I want to be completely certain first so I'd love to hear from anyone who has been an altruistic surrogate, been born or had a baby through altruistic surrogacy, or has experience of it with family or friends.

Looking for some ribbed cotton tops, v-neck, with 3/4 or long sleeves.

Nice quality, not super thin, high cotton content.

My new meno body is making a boob shelf of all my go to crew neck tops, so I'd like to switch to v-necks.

Budget is about £50 per top, could be more, but not just for the sake of it.

Please help?

Suddenly needed to use the toilet (ibs) in M&S, a lady walked in and kept saying. "Oh god it stinks in here!" Over and over again to everyone in the queue.
aibu or is that a bit mean!? It's a toilet after all. I ended up having to stay in the cubicle for ages because then i was too embarrassed to walk out after she'd been telling everyone over and over again that it stinks.
i did flush multiple times to try and avoid too much smell but I'm not sure what else I could have done.

I know it’s controversial to talk about age on here but I’m mid 50s and sometimes find it hard to dress in a way that feels age appropriate - I don’t want to look like I’m trying to be young and trendy like my daughter but I’m not ready to start buying my clothes in the garden centre like my mum.

I find shoes quite tricky and the current thread about trainers proves I’m not the only one. I really value comfort but hell will freeze over before I buy a pair of Sketchers, to me that just signals you’ve given up on fashion completely. But I’ve seen a few pairs of Fitflops - in particular the Mary Janes and also some boots - which I think look nice and would tick both the stylish and comfortable boxes but I’m questioning myself a bit and they’re not cheap. Any thoughts?

Simple question. If there is another referendum to re-join the EU, will you be voting to re-join?

This isn't to have a go at anyone who supported Brexit, or who supported Remain, it's just a quick straw poll. Thank you.

If anyone is wondering, (or cares!) I think I will vote to re-join. (I won't say at this point what I voted for last time...)

Just that really. I can’t believe this is happening. I feel like I’m in a nightmare. We have a 3 year old DD. The OW sent me a message from a private instagram account because H had blocked her actual accounts on my phone without my knowledge. He works with her.

He’d gone to her birthday party which I knew about. Didn’t come home until after 4am which isn’t normal for him so I wasn’t happy and we had plans the next day. He said they’d all gone somewhere after the party. Turns out he was with her in a hotel down the road. This was weeks ago and he hadn’t told me.

When I confronted him he eventually admitted it. Said that he couldn’t explain it at first. Then said that there was distance between us and he was weak and naive. We were arguing a lot. He’s been struggling with his mental health and I’ve been doing my best to support him whilst working full-time in a stressful job. I thought we were just going through a rough patch.

I’m literally shaking. I don’t have a lot of family and I haven’t told anyone IRL yet. He says it doesn’t have to be over. But it does doesn’t it?

I know I've got issues about this but I need advice.
We live in the tiniest house. Miniscule. 8ft x 9ft kitchen. Tiny box 3rd bedroom. No hallway, no entrance way, front door leads straight in to lounge. Stairs lead straight on to front door. Not enough room fo 2 people to stand by door to remove or put on shoes, we all have to go in to lounge just to put shoes/coats on. I hate it and it's a daily huge stress. The whole entire house upstairs and downstairs is 85m2. The back garden is the size of most people's front gardens.
So it was meant to be a 5 year home when we bought it 11 years ago when DC were pre-school. That was the plan.
They're now teenagers both as big as adults.
And we never moved after 5 years.
And we can't move now.
Me & DH are both NHS staff (me midwife him paramedic) and suffered horrendously with the 10 year long NHS pay freeze whilst at the same time COL soared. We became significantly worse off financially. Meanwhile our 5 year fixed rate mortgage deal ended 3 years ago and when we re-fixed the interest rate had significantly risen and our monthly repayments doubled. Worst of all, our long term plan for me to increase from part time when dc were little to full time now they're older has failed because both dc have SEN, ND, high levels of anxiety, developmental delay, school difficulties, and basically both need me around when they are not at school. So I only work whilst they are at school for 25 hours a week. DD is on the verge of school refusal and I'm endlessly worrying about how I will work at all if she actually refuses long term. She is under CAMHS. Whilst DS is having weekly counselling. I can't work any more hours than I do, meaning I can't increase our income. Meanwhile DH earns a salary which is a shit amount where we live for the main breadwinner. DH had the opportunity to develop into a higher pay band but it required him to do a masters which he turned down on the basis that he is struggling with his mental health enough as it is without adding more pressure from stuying whilst still working on top of family commitments, so this means he's closed the door on increasing his salary. I feel angry that he's not pushing himself for us financially when we so desperately need more money; he can see how much strain I'm under working every school day then straight home to start looking after 2 teenagers with extensive needs. I don't stop, I'm run ragged and he returns from work daily at 9pm so I get no help whatsoever.
So we can't move. We're stuck in this tiny house that we never meant to stay in for this long. Stepping up the ladder is unachievable for us.
We live in an expensive area. Our house is tiny but we chose it at the time because it's on a lovely street, in a beautiful area surrounded by countryside. What I didn't consider is that we bought the smallest house in an area filled with 4 bed detached houses or significantly extended semi detached with whopping great rear extensions and luxurious loft conversions.
Anyway I now feel crushed that we can't provide a bigger home for DC. They really notice now. They both get grouchy and irritable by the lack of space. DS stopped inviting friends round about 2 years ago. I keep asking him why and he won't answer but I know it's because all his friends live in massive 4 bed detached houses, in our very affluent neighborhood. He goes to theirs or meets them out instead. And DD asks to have friends for sleepovers but there isn't enough room for someone else to sleep in her boxroom. DD is endlessly asking why we can't get an extension on our kitchen like all her friends houses.
And now DS has been invited to a birthday party at someone's house. I checked their address out on Rightmove. And guess what. It's yet another massive 4 bed detached house with a football pitch sized garden. It is only natural that DS 15 is going to compare it to where we live.
I don't know what I'm asking from this post. But I'm angry and tired and disillusioned and poor. I think I need advice about how to deal with feeling embarrassed towards my own DC for not being able to provide a family home that's big enough for a family to be able to actually function in. I feel like sitting them down and apologising. But there's no hope of doing anything to give us more space.
I have looked at this friends house with the birthday party invite and now I feel like a failure. Just like I feel everytime my DC get invited to all their friends massive houses. I want to be able to provide a big house for my DC but I can't. We are literally the only family in this village living in such a tiny house.

Hi

i am looking for advice r regarding Secrion 19 alternative provision.

DD was recently granted S19 for medical reasons. School cannot meet her needs. I have recently applied for an EHCNA but that will take 20 weeks minimum.

however the medical panel report just says her school (mainstream independent) need to come up with an integration plan. That to me is not ‘alternative provision’.

she is currently unable to attend or do any sort of conventional school work at home as she cannot focus and suffers serious anxiety.

As a mainstream school, her school cannot support.

realistically she would need to start gradually eg short 121 tutor sessions specialised in supporting students like her - psycho education, mentoring, building her back gradually.

the council have not give a contact to speak to - it is under their Children Not in School service.

Any advice on how I can appeal/progress this would be much appreciated.

thank you

First world problem but this is driving me bonkers!

I do not like to share food; I know it’s odd, but I cannot stand people taking food from my plate or being asked for a share. It has to be on my terms if I offer (which I 9/10 do) or if I’m done, I’ll offer the rest.

It’s not about having to eat it all or not wanting to share, it’s just something I do not like to do. I will happily share a meal if it’s pre planned and expected, but my portion is my portion until I’m done.

Every time we are out for food or shopping, without fail, DH will deny he wants something and then later take some of mine. It makes me so inexplicably angry!

In the past few days alone:

We stopped for a coffee at a shop with the DC. The DC wanted cookies for after their lunch. I asked DH if he wanted one, he said no. I asked if he was sure as I also was getting one and he said he was sure he didn’t want one.

When DH had finished lunch he said “how many cookies did you buy?”. I said 4 ; one each for me and the DC as he didn’t want one. He replied with “oh ok, let me know if you don’t want some of yours”.

Aka, I’ll have a bit of yours. I ended up giving him some of mine.

Me: “DH do you want some crisps to go with your sandwich?”
Him: “No”.
Me: “ Are you sure?”
Him: “Yes I’m sure “

We sit down and he says “oh I’ll have a few of your crisps to go in my sandwich”.

Same with drinks. Do you want a drink? No. Then will either ask if theres any drinks “spare” or just take a “sip” of mine!

Now this is a regular occurrence and it’s starting to really annoy me as I always feel guilty or that I’m being odd and end up giving him some. I don’t mind when I’m done, but not before that.

Today when I had a small bar of chocolate and he asked for a piece, I said no and I told him why. He had not wanted chocolate when we were in the shop otherwise he should have got his own.

I stuck to my guns and I ate the chocolate. He thinks I’m mean.

It’s not about money as these sort of spends come out of our household pot. He just doesn’t want it until he does.

AIBU to refuse to share until he gets the message?

DH and I have been married for 3 years. We have one DC who’s 6.

DH works part time hours to facilitate school pick ups etc. I earn quite a good salary with room for progression, but there’s a lot of pressure on me. I found DH a job which was slightly more hours and would mean he earned significantly more each month. It would mean DC going into after school club until 5 on those days (I would be able to do drop offs). DH said no, he wants to pick up DC. I said that’s fine.

But he seems to think because he picks him up and gets his dinner ready that nothing else falls onto him. I’ll often get home at 6, and there’s mess from the night before, toys everywhere, dirty dishes, no hoovering or anything has been done. He’s not made our dinner either. His excuse is that he’s been looking after DC.

So when I get home I’m not resting, just straight to house mode. He finishes work at 1:30, which gives him at least an hour before school pick up. On days DC goes to grandparents (Tuesday and Thursday) he has over 5 hours to do at least something in the house? But never does.

Tonight I came home at 8 after a particularly shit day at work. House a mess, a text saying he forgot to get detergent and can I pick some up?

I feel taken advantage of in this respect.

Also, there’s just zero affection or intimacy. We have sex, usually every other day. But he’s not really interested in me as a person. It’s just stupid stuff, but he never compliments me. I take good care of myself and I think look the same as when we got married… but I don’t feel he’s attracted to me. He says he is, but nothing makes me feel like he is. Other things include me asking for more couple nights (my mum is happy to have DC every few weeks for an evening for this), but he never organises it, or if we do get childcare he’ll ask me what we’re doing. It just feels like another task on my to do list.

Last night I was singing songs, messing around before we got into bed. I’ve done this for years. He usually laughs but he just told me to turn it off. He didn’t hug me or cuddle me before we went to sleep. It just feels so flat. And he says he’s exhausted so often falls asleep before we have sex, meaning it’s a rushed morning quickie most of the time.

He doesn’t just kiss or cuddle me. He spends a lot of his time with his running club.

I feel like I’m just here as breadwinner and he’s comfortable.

I feel like I’m going insane. I feel like a drudge. I’m only 33 but I feel like I’m in a dead end marriage with someone.

Is this just normal life? Am I expecting too much? I’ve tried to talk about it but he takes offense and says it’s horrible to hear that he’s not showing his love enough. Aibu?