I’m keeping this slightly vague as it would be very outing if a select few people read it!

I have a brother who is significantly older than I am. My existence has always been a sore point for him.

I saw him yesterday and in the space of about three hours he was just absolutely vile to me:

• I’m non clinical in the NHS. He thinks that “people like me” are the reason the NHS is “fucked” - because I’m taking ten days holiday. It was really quite nasty, he went on and on about how it shouldn’t be allowed, how people in the public sector are lazy and don’t want to work. Never mind that he’s off on a three week holiday in December!
• I live at home. He called me a “freeloading piece of shit” because I’m not paying £1,000 a month rent. He lived at home until a similar age, and when he did move out he moved into a friend’s house where he paid for bills and food only. I have had a discussion with my parents today and they have reassured me that they do not feel this way.
• He said he thinks it’s “utterly pathetic” that I travel alone. He thinks I should grow up and, in his words, “find a man” to travel with.

AIBU to just not want to see him again any time soon? I found it really hurtful. I do struggle sometimes with feeling a little insecure about my position in life, but I also have to reflect on the fact that the economy is not easy right now and I know that all of my friends are in the same situation.

Has anyone found a solution to the constipation issue? It's getting worse each month, so much so that I actually look pregnant today!

I am drinking so much water that I genuinely can't increase that, I do at least 10,000 steps a day and do a lot of manual work. My diet is really good as I grow all my own veg and have good amounts of protein.

18 months ago started dating a man. Lovely guy I'd known a while through a circle of friends, and we tentatively started something which became quite intense quite quickly, in that he was round my place more nights than he wasn't, we fell in love and started talking about the future all within the first 4 months. Like, ridiculously happy. He's kind, funny, caring and we've been absolutely crazy about each other. Everyone happy for us, friends loving it, his family and I get on really well, etc.

For context, I separated from STBXH almost 3 years ago, divorce imminent, though we're amicable. I LOVED living alone for the first time in 13 years (no kids, very sadly). XDH and I were both on level ground when we met at the time so it felt easy, both with our own place, both functioning adults at the time.

New DP, however, had been living with parents again following relationship breakdown (not his fault, I know the story). When I asked him after a particularly happy spell if he wanted to trial living together, all was great. Stuff arrived at my place, he began contributing, so far so good.

Except it soon became apparent he has no adulting experience whatsoever. He had to be shown multiple times how to use the washer, for example, and how to deal with suppliers and employers. He does try but he's just not great at the daily stuff and asks for help and prompts a lot. The dynamic between us obviously changed completely.

I love him but I'm quietly, slowly starting to resent his presence in my house, which I'd hoped would become ours. It honestly feels like I'm having to parent a grown man, and it's not attractive. I've talked to him about it, and he's actively trying to do more and be more helpful but he's such a sensitive soul it's hard to tell him it's not helped much. It almost feels like weaponised incompetence at this point.

He's on holiday with friends currently (booked over a year ago and I opted not to go) and I've so enjoyed having my place to myself, the reduction in mental load and the peace. I feel horribly guilty for it, but much as I care for him I'm not looking forward to his return and the return to having to do the brainwork and adulting for two people.

What do I do, at this point? I'd hate to throw away the things that we have/had. I know it's my fault for suggesting he move in, and I'd love to be able to go back to to happiness we had when we were just dating, but I know we can't turn the clock back. Is this broken?

It hasn’t been a typical summer in terms of weather so I have been trying to dress for comfort in the heat.

I have been in white pinstripe wide leg trousers and a black vest or black loose top (M&S.) I bought a pair of rust coloured balloon trousers (Next) and they have had a lot of wear too. For smarter occasions I have worn a pair of burgundy wide leg trousers (Fatface) and a burgundy short sleeved top (Boden.) Another outfit has been a patterned skirt (Mango) and a navy top (White Stuff.) It’s shorts in the garden mainly!

I have a photo of me on a beach in West Wales one August about ten years ago and I am in a coat and wellies and freezing so dressing for five heatwaves is novel!

What have you been wearing this summer?

Sleeveless ( no gaping armholes pl)
Cotton or cotton blend. No polyester.
Solids or stripes only. No prints please.
Not black! Blue, green, rust all ok.
Under £60 as I need to buy a few.
Size 12-14.

It's like the holy grail!

I did find one on ElevenLoves. Are they any good?

My gorgeous nephew is getting married (twice) but I have had a falling out with my brother over it. Not sure if I ABU or he is though. Nephew announced wedding last year, getting wed this year, initially registry office with 2 witnesses, with a celebration in September with guests. My sister and I were delighted with the news and received invites for her and her husband and myself and my daughter to September wedding at a large manor house about 7 hours away. 2 day event, ceremony and shindig on the Saturday for around 160 guests, then relaxed 'hangover recovery day' on the Sunday. Accommodation at venue reserved for friends not family. So, sister and I looked at local accommodation. Cheapest was £150 plus per night per person. (£1200 total accommodation) So, we have decided to take a day unpaid from work on Friday, drive to hotel about 45 minutes away from venue for £160 total and then go to wedding, drive home through Saturday night which would mean missing final hour of the night do. The meal is a Greek gyros van and so pretty casual event. So, we sent congrats on May wedding day. Found out that it was a 60 guest event with parents/siblings, the bride's wider family and close friends. Slightly stung but no resentment because everyone should have the wedding they choose.
My sister and I told our brother of travel/accommodation plans for September and he was really angry, suggesting we can't be bothered, saying he won't have anyone to talk to, we will miss everything, we are my Nephew's only family on my brother's side who are invited etc. I feel that with the significant cost and work issues, my sister and I have really tried to do what we can to get there and honestly, if we had been SO integral to the wedding, we would have been invited to the first run. Brother is obviously steaming and dropping comments all the time about hardly seeing us, how we will miss most of the wedding. I genuinely don't think my gorgeous nephew will have a problem. He is so chilled out. But, AIBU? Should I have taken the hit financially? I work in education and so any term-time holiday just isn't possible! Daughter starts secondary school on the Monday too.

Who was it? I can’t find the thread or remember the name of the makers. Thank you - they were flat and green suede (maybe?) with gold leather !

I am 30 and single. I have been working for the same company for about 5 years. It is a big company and I have always been quite careful about keeping things professional.
For the last year I have been working under a senior executive. He is very senior in the company although he works from another main branch in the same city.

I have probably met him 10 or 15 times. We have always had a professional relationship. I don't really know anything about his personal life. I don't even know if he is married.

This morning I got a text from him asking if I am free tomorrow night because he wants to have dinner with me. He said he would book a table for us. he also told me to dress up. I haven't replied yet because I honestly don't know how to take it.

I am not someone who normally goes to dinner alone with people who are much higher up than me at work. I also don't want to do anything that could potentially affect my career or put me in an awkward situation.

At the same time he is a very important person in the company and I don't want to unnecessarily offend him or make things awkward professionally.

What would you do in my position?

I’d really appreciate some outside perspective because I’m starting to feel like I’m being unreasonable, but I’m not sure.
My husband earns around £4,000 a month and I earn around £1,500. I only work 3 days a week because our youngest isn’t at nursery yet, so increasing my hours isn’t really an option at the moment.
We don’t have a mortgage, but my husband wants me to take over the council tax and electricity, which come to around £500 a month combined.
I already pay approximately £500 a month for groceries, as well as paying for our two children’s activities, days out, clothes, and various other expenses for them.
When we go on holiday, say a £4,000 holiday, I’ll usually contribute around £1,000. Even that is difficult for me on my income.
My husband says he runs out of money every month, but the problem is that I have no idea where his money is going. He doesn’t seem willing to sit down and go through the finances with me and explain what he’s spending it on.
What really bothers me is that he somehow has the money for an annual £1,000 golf trip, while telling me that he doesn’t have enough money and that I should take on more household bills.
I’m not saying he shouldn’t have hobbies or spend money on himself. But given the huge difference in our incomes, and the fact that I’m working reduced hours partly because of childcare, I feel like our finances should be looked at as a household rather than simply splitting bills.
Am I being unreasonable for thinking he should be contributing significantly more to the household expenses?

My ex paid very little child maintenance. Was on the fiddle with his boss to only pay £5 a week. He had over £2000 arrears.
Additionally, no one has set eyes on this piece of 💩in over 10 years including his children. I seriously considered that he may have died during COVID.
I am a petty bitch so wouldn’t let the the CMS close my account when my son turned 19. This morning I received a text to say a payment had been made to my account.
£15.65 a month will be paid to me starting this month. It will take him 10 years to pay off the arrears, I will be retired by the time it is cleared, he will be 70.
I would have loved to have seen his face when he saw the benefit reduction due to CMS arrears. Every month, I am going to spend that £15 on something ridiculous- suggestions please!

I’ve already posted in lone parents but no replies and I’ll be honest - I really need a whinge tonight, nothing else needed [ smile]

I love my children so much but … I want some time away, some proper time away, not a few snatched hours, a full day, preferably a weekend, where I don’t need to worry about dashing back, can explore somewhere new, can wander and be me and soak it all in.

And it isn’t realistic for it to happen. No family to help, it’s a huge massive ask for friends, and I just need to wait until they are old enough to be self sufficient but realistically that’s going to be a decade or more!

I’ve recently moved from London to a smallish town in Lancashire for work. I’ve found a lovely place to live, but the place not issue is my next-door neighbour. She’s been friendly since I moved in, inviting me in for tea, and chatting every time I step outside. And it’s this. I have a busy job and value my peace and independence. I now can’t step outside without a full rundown of her day, and a grilling about mine. I’ve tried to say I’m rushing, I often am, and I’m always polite, but I feel like I’m 15 again not being able to do anything without a million questions and a million moans. If I’m staying in with a book or film she phones me, several times, then knocks if I don’t answer as my phone is on silent. She keeps track of my every move! I love living here but it’s can’t bear this. I’m considering moving. Oh and she has a key, given to her by the landlady. AIBU?

I’m 36, I don’t do anything skin care wise. I take my make up off with face wipes and I don’t wear spf every day either. I know both of those things are terrible.

I want to start looking after my skin. Main issue seems to be bumpy forehead, lots of tiny little bumps. I wouldn’t say I have dry skin or oily skin, maybe slightly sensitive. Wrinkles are starting to appear and my neck is getting crepey. I’ve lost 3.5stone since November so I think that’s making me look older/wrinkles becoming more obvious.

Boots website tells me I need a cleanser, serum, moisturiser and sunscreen in the mornings, and in the evenings I need cleanser, serum and moisturiser. Is this a good starting point?

Can someone link/recommend exact products to start off a routine for me? Should they all be the same brand/range?
When I turned 30 I bought all the ‘Simple’ stuff but didn’t maintain doing it and it all expired. My budget is tiny.

Any help would be super appreciated. I tried looking at the threads on here but they all seem so advanced and complicated. I would like to start a simple routine that I actually get into the habit of doing and then I can always add more at a later date?

Thanks so much

What do I do now? Never enter the lounge again?

Back when me and my husband was 16 years old, we broke up, it was a painful breakup for the both of us but we came back together and he didn’t tell me what happened right away, I only knew abt it when we were 19. When we broke up, he went straight to his ex and also some other casual flings when I was beating myself up and crying all day. Fast forward to now, our marriage is great and we have 2 beautiful kids. There’s no argument about my husband cheating or anything of some sort, he is a good husband and a father to my kids, but sometimes it still bothers me. What should I do?

Just asking has anyone had this for their child's nursery? Won't go into too much detail. I've now signed up for notifications for our child's nursery too.

A few months ago I seen something had been published and it said about a complaint concern and one had been raised about safeguarding. The nursery's been running as normal so not been closed for investigation or anything but it said action taken offsted checked in etc

I am going to email as the reports have to be vague I know they cant say a mum has reported she thinks the garden toys arent safe etc or something like that

But has anyone had one of these with their nursery and then asked about it? I feel very anxious

I have fairly slender fingers and initially, I had my wedding ring adjusted (I couldn't have it resized as it's actually a plait of gold strands that are set onto the solid band, so any cut would be obvious) as (somehow!!) I must have lost weight after the initial ring fitting.

The jeweller put three largeish granules of gold at equal intervals on the inside of the ring. They're very rounded - like a little hill in profile I suppose - and it's always been comfortable to wear.

A few years ago, with weight and swelling that comes with getting to the end of your 40's, I had one of the 'hills' removed. Now, at 53, and with this hot weather, I'm finding I'm not even wearing my wedding ring much of the time as it's way too tight. OK, so I need another of the hills removed by our excellent local jeweller.

What I'm asking is - what happens to the gold? It's not an insubstantial amount to remove. Gold is through the ceiling these days. I'm obviously paying to have the job done but do the jewellers just keep the gold they remove as a 'perk' or is it going to be reflected in the price to have it done, or what? I used to do a very minor amount of silversmithing and I know you NEVER throw away 'waste' precious metal, even shavings and dust - it's collected and melted down and reused.

So would I be cheeky to ask them about this? Do I get it back? (I can't do metalsmithing any longer, I don't have the kit, but gold is gold!) Do I accept they keep it? (and yes, this was also on my mind a few years ago when I had the last one taken off, but I was too shy to ask them.)

We are nearing our 1000-post limit on the original thread:
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/education/5561878-jason-arday-cambridge-plagiarist?reply=153910946

I have now removed the question mark after "plagiarist".

I can't believe the sequel will be as good as the original, but you never know...

Following on from the lovely response from my post yesterday re my Reiss trousers can you advise on a winner wedding outfit. Can I wear a trouser suit or does it need to be a dress? I have 3 options ordered, I would wear the suit as styled with blouse and scarf. The event is in London and the event is very high end from what I can see .

Welcome to Thread 3! 🥳

Firstly, a huge thank you to @ovahere for getting us started and looking after the first two threads. It's been lovely seeing everyone sharing news, spoilers and enabling each other already! ❤️

As agreed, we're taking it in turns to start each new thread this year. If this thread starts getting close to the reply limit, please post to let everyone know you're happy to start the next one so we can avoid duplicate threads.

A few festive housekeeping notes;
🎁 This thread contains spoilers.
🎄 Please be kind and respectful to one another.
💸 No judging anyone for their purchasing choices (or how many calendars they buy, we're all enablers here! 😂).
🎀 Feel free to share spoilers, offers, discount codes, GWPs, delivery updates and stock alerts.

✨ We're only on thread 3 and some members already have three advent calendars on the way 🎅 I think it's safe to say advent season is officially underway! 🎄

🎁 Available Now

Liberty – £285 (Beauty Drop members receive £25 off). Full contents revealed and available to order.
https://www.libertylondon.com/uk/beauty-advent-calendar

P. Louise – £250. Available to pre-order with payment instalments available.
https://plouise.co.uk/collections/wonderful-world-of-p-louise-advent-calendar/products/what-glows-around-2026-advent-calendar

John Lewis – Available on pre-sale via the app for MyJL members.
https://beauty-detective.com/john-lewis-beauty-advent-calendar-2026/

Harrods Beauty Advent Calendar – Now on pre-sale.
https://www.harrods.com/en-gb/p/harrods-of-london-the-harrods-beauty-advent-calendar-2026-000000000000284475

Harrods 12 Days of Hair & Body – Now on pre-sale.
https://www.harrods.com/en-gb/p/harrods-of-london-the-harrods-12-days-of-hair-and-body-advent-calendar-2026-000000000000284465

Harrods Fragrance Advent Calendar – Pre-sale currently sold out. Expected back in-store during September (date TBC).
https://beauty-detective.com/harrods-fragrance-advent-calendar-2026/

⏳ Coming Soon / Waitlists

Cult Beauty
https://www.cultbeauty.co.uk/c/advent-calendar/

Harvey Nichols
Beauty:
https://www.harveynichols.com/harvey-nichols/harvey-nichols-beauty-advent-calendar-2026-75896-258491/
Fragrance:
https://www.harveynichols.com/harvey-nichols/harvey-nichols-12-days-of-fragrance-advent-calendar-2026-75906-258490/

John Lewis Fragrance
https://beauty-detective.com/john-lewis-fragrance-advent-calendar-2026/

Space NK
https://www.spacenk.com/uk/gifts/beauty-advent-calendars/beauty-advent-calendar-MUK200063764.html

Elle
https://beauty-detective.com/elle-advent-calendar-2026/

Fortnum & Mason
Spoilers:
https://beauty-detective.com/fortnum-mason-beauty-advent-calendar-2026/
Waitlist: https://www.fortnumandmason.com/beauty-advent-calender-sign-up-2026

Boots (including the new fragrance calendar) https://www.boots.com/christmas/advent-calendars/advent-calendar-waiting-list

Sephora UK
Spoilers:
https://beauty-detective.com/sephora-uk-advent-calendar-2026/
Waitlist: https://www.sephora.co.uk/c/beauty-advent-calendar-waitlist

Selfridges (Beauty & Fragrance)
https://beauty-detective.com/selfridges-beauty-advent-calendar-2026/

LookFantastic Beauty
https://www.lookfantastic.com/c/waitlist/advent/?srsltid=AfmBOoovzs9M5Kt8-RM_31Q3_-JOa6N51uGggpe0hglvZbxC5Of7AFTH

LookFantastic Fragrance
https://beauty-detective.com/lookfantastic-fragrance-advent-calendar-2026/

Anthropologie (24 and 12 day)
https://www.anthropologie.com/en-gb/beauty-advent-calendar

Vogue
https://shop.vogue.co.uk/pages/vogue-festive-calendar-2026-waitlist

Glossybox
https://beauty-detective.com/glossybox-advent-calendar-2026/

OK! Beauty Box
https://beauty-detective.com/ok-beauty-box-advent-calendar-2026/

💄 More Calendars & Spoilers

Rather than making the opening post a mile long, our friend Mary has a brilliant roundup of lots more advent calendars and the latest spoilers, including Charlotte Tilbury, Jo Malone, Elemis, Lancôme, Tatcha, NEOM, Neal's Yard Remedies, Holland & Barrett, YesStyle and many more as they're announced.

👉 https://beauty-detective.com/category/beauty-advent-calendars/ 👈

🎅 Happy advent season everyone! 🎁

Here's hoping for lots more spoilers, bargains, discount codes, and maybe a little self-control (although judging by threads 1 and 2, that seems unlikely! 😄)

My sons DP has a severe nut allergy ., she obviously carries an epi pen. I’m hosting a get together tomorrow with friends and family invited . I’m doing most of the cooking but people are bringing drinks. A cpl of people have offered to cook and bring dishes. I’ve said no it’s fine as then I’ll be sure there are no nuts in anything . I put a msg out in the group chat to remind people to please not bring anything with nuts in just in case . I got a pm this morning from my friends DP saying my sons DP needs to get over it and she would probably have the same reaction if someone threw a spider at her or she walked past a graveyard. It’s a life threatening allergy not a bloody panic attack that she has ffs . I’d love to tell the ignorant prick he’s no longer welcome- but I don’t want to over react . But he’s ignorance and sheer stupidity have really irritated me. It would be so awkward though if I did tell him not to come . Thoughts please ..

I keep looking at this style of dress, which I think looks really comfortable, but not sure if they would work on my body shape. I only ever see them (including toast dresses) modelled by smaller-chested women.
I’m 5’2 and hourglass 10-12, about 34D and concerned about looking ‘matronly’. What do you think? www.marksandspencer.com/cotton-rich-notch-neck-midi-waisted-dress/p/clp23086665?color=RED

I was in by myself last night and wanted something easy to watch so I tried that new Murder in Benidorm series on C5. OMG - what a load of drivel. Makes Death in Paradise seem like a Dicken’s adaptation. Bad acting and ridiculous plot (and I do watch some crap!).
What was John Hannah thinking taking the lead role? I got about halfway through and turned it off & went to bed in disgust!

More of a rant really as I know there’s nothing I can do about this but curious if I’m justified in being annoyed by this.

We’ve rented this house from our landlady for just over decade now but having finally saved a deposit we have bought a house so are moving out. We contacted her to ask how much notice she required in light of the new renters rights changes even thought our contract said one month. She insisted on two months so we’re paying rent up to the end of September although we move on the 18th of August, bit annoying but fine, we figured that meant more wiggle room getting end of tenancy clean and garden tidying booked in. What we
hadn’t anticipated was that she was going to start bringing a seeming endless stream of tradesmen in while we’re packing as she selling up and now all the stuff she refused to fix for us needs doing.
We let in the first few as it was quick but then she tried to come on the day we are moving out and we told her absolutely not. My husband politely messaged her after that to suggest as she has a whole month and a bit of us paying rent where the house will be standing empty where she can do what she wants could she not just wait until then and she just replied with a comment about not doing conflict, whatever she thinks that means.
She was here this morning for the third time in fours days and as she was leaving she dropped in that she’d see me again tomorrow at 6pm. She’d never mentioned this before and when I questioned what it was for she said it was for a a decorator to come measure and eat for painting. I asked how on earth he’s going to manage that when the house is full of boxes etc and she was implying I’d have to make room. I said it wasn’t possible and could she not possibly wait until we’ve left for all this. Well she blew up at me about how her husband is ill and she has every right to come in as much as she wants and left slamming that door.
For the record I’ve met her husband many times over the years and genuinely like him, but I fail to see how waiting until next Wednesday is going to make any difference to his health.
She’s been here twice to measure the same taps and just lingers chatting at me while I’m trying to pack, on Friday she kept a poor plumber chatting in my door way for a good 30 mins. I’m just so stressed with packing and everything else for moving and utterly fed up of her so not sure if it’s just me over reacting and she’s being entirely reasonable.

So we fly first thing tomorrow on a family holiday (me, hubby and two kids <6).

A week ago I started with cold and have had horrid sinus/general cold symptoms. Went to the doctors got a steroid spray (they were thoroughly disinterested as I didn’t have a temperature) but the sinus pain was so bad I felt sick. The steroid spray did very little, I’ve been struggling all week. Doesn’t seem to be improving and awful post nasal drip (tmi sorry). I just feel rubbish but it’s been a week now usually I shake things off or they at least improve. I’ve spent today in bed covered in Vicks and felt awfully sick.

I said to hubby I didn’t think I’d manage it tomorrow. I struggle with my sinuses on planes at the best of times and it can be really painful. He looked at me like I was nuts because it’s ’just a cold’.

We have insurance but given I’m ’not that unwell’ and the doctors shrugged it off I doubt we’d be able to claim on it. Hubby thinks I’m at the end of it and will start to feel better in the next couple of days so should just push through. I do push through things quite well usually but I just feel grotty and so disappointed that it’s a week in and I’m still this rubbish!