Any thoughts about National Youth Choir (ages 9-15) for a sophisticated 15 year old completely obsessed with musical theatre, yet who performs coloratura Mozart (Queen of the Night) and Christine’s songs from Phantom of the Opera perfectly, as she views them as a TikTok meme or musical theatre songs, rather than as classical music?

I would love her to broaden her tastes and become lifelong friends with singers from other genres, but perhaps this won’t happen and she’ll just spend 5 days resenting being on the course and be completely put off classical music for life.

DS recently turned two years old. He is now falling asleep between 9-9:15pm, and waking 7-7:15am (with about three wake ups overnight).

A couple of days in the last week, he’s stayed awake until 9:30pm 😳

That’s with about one hour 15 min nap a day, from about 12:15-1:30pm. Occasionally, he won’t nap. On these days he falls asleep at about 8:45pm, so it doesn’t really change much.

I’m absolutely shattered and beginning to dread the evenings. I thought the clock change would come to my rescue, but it had no effect at all.

If I started getting us up at 6am, do you think he’d start to fall asleep an hour earlier too?

DD is 3 in January and we’ve been offered a nursery place for her from then. I originally put her name down because I thought it might be useful for childcare but now I’m not sure I want to send her at all. Everyone seems to think I’m being odd about it so thought I’d ask on here.

She’s an only child and is quite happy at home. We go to the library sometimes, she sees her cousins a couple of times a week and we go out to the park when it’s not chucking it down. She’s quite chatty and will play with other children when we’re out. I don’t really see what she’d be missing by not going to nursery yet.

The place we’ve been offered is 3 mornings a week but with the extra bits it isn’t going to be completely free. I work in the evenings anyway and I’d rather have the money for things we actually need tbh.

My DP thinks I’m making a mistake though. He says she’ll need to get used to being away from me before school and that nursery will help her become more independent. I said she’s going to have to get used to school whether she goes to nursery or not and it’s not as if she’ll never be around other children.

My mum has been on at me about it too. She keeps saying I’ll regret it when she starts Reception and is the only one who doesn’t know how to do anything. I didn’t go to nursery and neither did my brother, although apparently that was different because it was a different time. My sister thinks I should at least try her for a couple of mornings.

I’m not against nursery at all, I just don’t think it’s something every child has to do before school. If DD was unhappy at home or wanted to go then obviously I’d look at it differently. She’s not going to be kept away from people or anything, she’ll still be doing all the usual things and starting school when she’s meant to.

Am I being unreasonable to keep her at home until Reception? Is nursery actually that important for socialisation and getting ready for school or is it just something everyone thinks you have to do now?

Here we go round the mulberry bush, the mulberry bush, the mulberry bush……..

1. A penny farthing sitting on a landing of a mansion.

2. Lots of tiny feathers on the stairs of someone's house who didn't own a bird and in the same house I think they had a secret lodger as every time I went to the loo I heard footsteps run from one room to the next upstairs. I never mentioned either!

My family have started calling DD Floater and I really don’t like it. It started at a family lunch a few weeks ago when she was playing with one of those little inflatable rings and my brother called her it as a joke. Now it’s stuck and everyone seems to think it’s hilarious.

My family have always had daft nicknames for each other tbf. I’ve got one my brother still calls me which I’ve never liked, but it’s just what he’s always called me. This feels different though because she’s only little and I don’t want it turning into something people say about her when she’s older.

My brother says it doesn’t mean anything and keeps going “where’s our little Floater then” whenever he sees her. My mum and sister have started saying it too now. I know they aren’t trying to be nasty but it just sounds like they’re taking the piss out of her appearance to me. She’s got quite chubby cheeks at the moment and I can imagine other kids picking up on it when she starts school.

At the weekend we were all at my mum’s for lunch and he said it about four times. I asked him to stop calling her that and he just laughed and said I was being ridiculous. My mum then said I was being precious and that DD won’t even remember it. I felt a bit stupid because everyone was looking at me like I’d made a massive deal out of nothing.

DP thinks I’m overthinking it as well. He says she’s too young to understand what it means and it’ll probably just stop being used eventually. I said that’s not really the point though, I don’t want it becoming her nickname in the first place. He thinks I’m making it into something it isn’t.

I’m not against nicknames generally, we call her Flo most of the time anyway and she has a few other little ones that are just cute things she’s done. I just don’t like this one and don’t think it’s particularly nice.

My sister messaged me afterwards saying I should just let it go because it’s affectionate and nobody means anything by it. I haven’t replied yet because I don’t really know what to say without sounding like I’m having a go at everyone.

AIBU to ask them to stop calling her it? Would you actually mind this or am I being a bit precious?

I'm looking for some outside perspective as there has now been two incidents within a week where my partner has lost his patience with our 3 month old baby, shouting and swearing because they wouldn't settle during the night.

First night: Baby had slept well and woken around 3am for a bottle. She was then wide awake and wouldn't settle. My partner thought she wanted more milk, made another bottle, but she wouldn't take it and ended up being sick all over herself and him. I could hear him getting frustrated, saying things like, "You want food, I've made food, so you'll drink it." I went in to check whether he needed help, but he said no.I went back to bed, only to hear him shouting, "GO TO FUCKING SLEEP, I'VE HAD ENOUGH NOW." I immediately got up and said I needed to take over because shouting and swearing wasn't acceptable or going to help her sleep. He claimed i was checking up on him and wouldn't let me take over.

Second time: He was on baby duty again, and I'd gone to sleep in the other bedroom, across the hallway. I was woken by him shouting around 4am, something along the lines of, "You want to play then? Fine its playtime. Go on and play."
I then heard the baby cry with a really distressed sob. His shouting was so loud it woke me through two closed doors from the other side of the house, as after i got up i realised he was actually downstairs in the living room with her rather than in the bedroom. She was crying before he shouted but I hadnt heard her as I was asleep. He clearly just got so tired and wanted to get some sleep that he lost his patience and shouted at her. But loud enough to wake me up and be heard from downstairs! He said she had been up every half hour or so since midnight so he hadnt slept but again wouldn't swap with me or let me help claiming he didn't need or want help.
This is now the second time in a week.
He's admitted he lost his patience and shouldn't have done it but I'm not sure what i can do to help this situation. Take over all the night shifts and let him sleep in the spare room? He's not been at work this week and no plans during the day so could catch up on sleep then but has been a martyr and won't. My friend that I spoke to said babies cry that's life and he didn't really do anything wrong. Am I overreacting? Shouting and swearing now doesnt fill me with confidence to trust him, i do nights he is at work and whilst may be tired have never snapped, shouted or sworn at the baby.
I am not into gentle parenting and can't guarantee that I wont shout at her when shes older and in trouble but right now shes just an innocent baby.

Update before I got chance to post this:
Last night I said I would do the night shift with baby and posed it as want partner to get a good night's sleep before returning to work. He wouldn't have it and argued he wanted to do it. So we ended up both basically running to her every time she stirred. Me because I didn't want him to deal with her and get tired/lose his patience and him because he thinks I'm stopping him from looking after his own child and he wants to look after her. So now today we are both tired and neither of us refreshed.

just dropped DS age 7 in year 2 to school, a girl’s mum in his class pulled me to the side. DS did mention to me yesterday that he had fallen out with this girl and that in his words “she was being annoying to me and rude to me” so I had assumed a bit of butting heads but he didn’t want to talk about it anymore and then carried on being his usual energetic self.

So the girl’s mum stopped me and said she knows her daughter is no angel because she gives it out to her big brother and can be unpleasant at times, but she said my son was bullying her and he mentioned her skin colour.

I assured the girl’s mum that it is not acceptable and I will have a strong word with him as well as insisting he apologises to the girl.

Never had any situation lime with before and feeling upset for the girl and her mum!

What do I do?

When DD (now 18) was at primary school she had a friend called Chloe.

DD was saying how Chloe was one of the nicest friends she has ever had. Kind and considerate. I agree she was a lovely little girl and her mum was lovely too.

However, she left when she was around 7/8 because her family were part of the Plymouth Brethren and so she was sent to a local school ran by the religion.

I have often wondered about this religion and those involved as it had some seemingly out of date rules and regulations. Chloe was never allowed to eat in front of any of her classmates if she did need to eat she would either go home ( her house was a few doors down from the school) or would have to be hidden behind a screen (according to dd).

Her mum was really lovely, always had time to talk, very friendly and polite as were all of Chloe’s siblings. I think the mum was a little more rebellious than the other brethren mum’s because although pleasant they never spoke to any of the other parents. All the women had long hair and would wear little head scarves, they were never in trousers, always wore skirts although Chloe’s mum wore leggings with a little skirt over the top.

Chloe would tell my dd they had no tv or computers and sang around a piano every evening. I did a little bit of research and not sure if it’s true but according to things I’ve read online they aren’t allowed to have any bad influences from the ‘outside world’ such as tv, radio or the internet. All those in our area appear to live only in detached houses (read they must not be attached to non brethren’s?) and the marriages are mostly arranged. This would not surprise me, the mum was stunningly beautiful and if you saw the dad you would absolutely not have paired those two together let alone having five children together!

Although the family moved away from our village some years ago they still live nearby and occasionally I see the mum, she always remembers me and will chat a little. From my experience they are all very polite and appear such lovely people.

But they do seem such an reclusive group of people and although they come across as so very friendly and happy as a group I wonder if there is another side to it all? I’m not sure any of the women are allowed to work outside of family business but maybe I’m wrong. Are they allowed much independence and are all the marriages arranged?

Does anyone know much about this religion?

I’ll try and keep it brief with a bit of a brain dump. I’m genuinely asking for people’s thoughts as I don’t really have anything to compare to.

it’s just me and DS 19, his dad and I are divorced: He paid maintaince until he was 18.

DS has an apprenticeship but is earning good money (£29k plus travel and other extras). I earn well (low 6 figures) but have a mortgage etc so although am comfortable I’m not bathing in champagne 🙂

DS is still living at home, I give him food to take for lunch (M&S ready meal plus toastie plus snacks) and make his dinner. He works hard and is out of the house for 13 hours a day so I don’t mind too much:

Curently he pays for his own car and insurance but other than that nothing else. He is out every weekend both nights in town, hugs, etc and is probably spending a fortune I’ve tried to encourage him to save/LISA/ pension etc but I don’t really know whether he has or not.

it’s getting to a point where he is constant me a fortune in food, increased council tax and bills, and he’s out living his best life possibly spending every penny he has on drinks and taxis and such like. Which is fine, in a way but also i genuinely don’t have the disposable income that he has every month and it’s staring to make me think that he should be paying rent

I probably could afford to save it for him, and would lie to do that, but the bigger reason is trying to encourage him to save a little and be a bit more responsible with money before it gets out of hand.

I reckon he gets around £2400 after tax every month. Car plus insurance is £600. He has no other bills.

thoughts? I was kinda thinking £500 but can’t see him being happy. We have a good relationship and I don’t want to spoil that but also I want to bring him up to be a decent human being, and at the moment he contributes nothing 😂

Hi all. I'm just caretaking until Reastie returns, but here's our new thread. Please do use up the old one first though.

This is intended as a friendly, kind, safe, warm and fuzzy place for people to share discounts, bargains and Christmas gift ideas both online and IRL. Please note the tone and intention of the thread and join with spirit as generous as DC helping themselves to the Christmas chocolate celebrations

Here’s some useful information about how to save the thread or a specific post so you don’t need to have a message to check in for every thread so you have the thread saved:

To watch the thread - click on the little bell that has ‘watch’ under my first message. This adds the whole thread to your ‘watched threads’

You can also bookmark a specific post by clicking on the ‘bookmark’ under the specific post. This saves your exact place in a thread but doesn’t alert you to new replies.

If you have any referral links or codes, please share them on the referral thread here:

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/christmas/5444936-bargain-referrals-thread-8

A reminder that we don't use affiliated links on here please

🎄 Emoji to copy if required for posting bargains as some agree this makes deals easier to spot. (or post in bold)

My DIP has been declined to port mortgage and I am in the process of writing an appeal which I was encouraged to do, because of an August 2026 default of £71 that I had no idea about from a previous property. My mortgage is fixed 2.59% for the next 5.5 years.

The points I've included in my appeal:

• Proof the debt has been cleared
• Never missed a mortgage payment
• Had this mortgage 4 years, overpaid £600 monthly for the last 2 years
• Have an income to mortgage ratio of 1.25
• I want to reduce borrowing from 140 to 110/100
• Want to reduce term from 18 years to 9 or 10
• I have good credit: 683 clearscore and 610 transunion
• Never defaulted on a credit card or paid late

I can't believe my dream is being taken from me over a £71 missed payment I had no idea about. It has taken 7 months to sell my house for nowhere near what I wanted and now this.

I am waiting on the appeal outcome.

I am going to use Nottingham's Life Happens mortgage as a last resort but it will add additional expense.

I am so upset....do you guys think the underwriter may overturn the appeal? It's £71 fucking pounds and I just paid it!!!!

My hairdresser keeps giving me a lady bob. I really like her but it’s like she sees my age (53) and that’s what she feels I should have. Think page boy style. I probably need to move hairdressers. But what should I be asking for? Something cooler/younger? How can I describe it?

Twas the night before the US Midterms...

Continuation of the AIBU to think my friend is overdoing emergency stockpiling thread for discussion about the government advice to stockpile for an imminent emergency and what the heck that emergency might actually be.

Spoiler: it's more of a perfect storm of lots of factors coming together to potentially form one great clusterfuck from economic woes, global energy shortages (mainly diesel), potential food shortages, war and madmen to crazy weather patterns rather than a clear identifiable singular thread.
This is a practical thread and a bit of a handhold thread to make sense of events and how they may affect you. This is not an end of the world thread.

Remember an emergency can range from a temporary unexpected event to a much longer crisis but the underlying principles generally stay the same.

This is the official government information and advice, if you want further details on what the actual recommendation are, here is the newest campaign blurb
https://beready.campaign.gov.uk/

Not going to do a status report this time, mainly because it's all about What Trump Does Next right now.

Previous threads
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5576816-aibu-to-think-my-friend-is-overdoing-emergency-stockpiling?page=1

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/5585259-crisis-what-crisis-is-my-friend-over-doing-the-stockpiling-and-am-i-too-continuation-thread-2?page=1

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/5591677-crisis-what-crisis-the-one-you-start-to-wish-youd-stockpiled-like-your-crazy-friend-continuation-thread-3?page=1

Please be honest
my nearly 17 year old is being challenging I’d say most of this year.
shes fixated on boys (not the best boys) she failed all her GCSEs however I paid for private tutoring running up to them to help her (it broke me financially)
I had to fight & fight to get her onto the college course she desired because of this. I do so much for her. Girly days, long talks, she’s well provided for. You name it.
lots of little problems like her washing will pile up. I have to get her going with that stuff and she tells me you wanted to be a mum it’s what you signed up for. Just disrespect. There’s so many little scenarios I can’t be bothered to mention
anyway tonight she’s been at her dads for fireworks.
she came back at 9 he dropped her off.
she banged on the door multiple times and continuously rang the doorbell. It woke my 2 year old up who she knew was in bed. I’ve been very ill all week with tonsillitis and I’d just settled him to sleep in bed.
he’s now running around the landing. I said did u have to do that??? What is going through your head!!?? And she said your vile your in a shit mood again.
I said if your gonna be like that and disrespect me just go back to your dads. (He was outside in car)
she stomped upstairs loud on every step packed a bag and left. Her dad also called me vile.
honestly I’m sat here so upset. Questioning myself. I’m not perfect but she’s wearing me out so much. Was I wrong x

Are there any pilots here who could recommend aeroplane-related present ideas? I mean actual useful things (on a limited budget), not tat with a picture of a plane on it.
i’d love to get something that would actually be appreciated, but most aeroplane things are £££!

This is an old Hobbs skirt. With pencil skirt and smarter workwear coming back, I kind of like it but I also wonder if this will become “what was I thinking” item… https://ebay.io/m/gfSofJ

I have always loved a miniskirt and have noticed a few in the shops this year. I sort of stopped wearing them because of the trend towards midi skirts and looser cuts but would love to get back to it. I am 48, size 12 and round in the middle but with decent legs.

Any tips on styling them in a way that doesn’t look try-hard, unflattering or like I still think it’s 1999 (and I’m 21 again!)

Here is the one I’ve got me eye on: www.johnlewis.com/jigsaw-baby-corduroy-mini-skirt/burgundy/p116026421

I find this whole ‘boy mum’ culture incredibly irritating, particularly the women who make having sons their entire personality. It’s the way some of them talk about raising boys as though it’s somehow more special than raising girls, perpetuate stereotypes about boys being easier or less dramatic, and even make bizarre comments about being their son’s first love. I also find it interesting how some of the same women who complain about men’s behaviour seem perfectly happy to reinforce the very attitudes that contribute to misogyny. Obviously, there’s nothing wrong with being proud of having sons but why does it need to become an entire identity?

AIBU? To think there’s a lot of internalised misogyny wrapped up in this whole ‘boy mum’ phenomenon?

This happened last xmas but it's been brought up again due to everyone making xmas plans i think.

Mil stayed with us last year and she got the kids lots of presents that needed batteries. Which she didn't get before hand or prewarn us that we needed them.

On xmas morning she noticed my bag of batteries I got for xmas and went to put them into the toys she got. I said no they were for the toys santa got ( they were brought for this reason and cost £££)
I told her she can use any left over and I will buy more when I can. She wasn't happy to say the least and then asked the kids which toys they wanted batteries in first ( they said santa which i already knew)
I was annoyed as

1. They cost £££
2. I wanted to see my children play with the toys I got
3. She couldve said before hand or got some herself

Never been before. Long weekend.
What to do, where to go, where to eat? Thank you

I was just thinking about this when Vernon Kay came on the radio this morning. I didn't really listen to him. He seems to be massively popular, but he's got form for sending inappropriate messages to several women, albeit some time ago. The guy has two daughters too which makes it worse. But most people think he's great. How did he get away with it?

Obviously there are much worse offenders than him, he's no Westwood or Travis (afawk) but why has he managed to come up smelling of roses? In my book, what he did is worse than Scott Mills.

My DD’s state primary school has a “top maths club” and “great writers club” for the top performing students in yr 5 and 6 held outside of school hours. There is no charge for this - so it’s free childcare and free tutoring. You have to be invited. This has been running since the second week of the school year and is restarting on the first day of this half term.

By contrast, my dyslexic DD is in a group for those needing more support in writing, also outside of school hours. But they only managed 2 sessions last year and it hasn’t started back up this year. She gets ad hoc in school support; where it happens she misses other lessons that aren’t then caught up on, putting her further behind in the those.

I appreciate these children deserve challenging, but surely that could be done in class with different work and the teacher’s out of hours time, if available, used to help those struggling?

Is this even allowed in a state primary?

If you have recently re mortgaged / are remortgaging soon, how long are you fixing for?

Our 1.25 % (!!!) deal is ending in March. We've just fixed for 10 years at 5.2% at DH insistence because he is very nervous about future price rises and wants the stability. It feels like a long time and obviously everything could be very different by then. It's our first time remortgaging and I'm really not sure. What is everyone else doing?

I often seem to buy the wrong thing for DS - I could probably write a page or two about my Christmas gift blunders, and I dread seeing them coming up on the "worst gift ever" threads. So I've decided this year to wrap a few sweets and clothes, but give money for his main present. Only - just transferring the cash seems a little cold and unfestive. I've thought of giving a nice card with a little message in it saying how much I've transferred, but does anyone have a better idea? I think that banks have missed a trick actually, they could send a nice Christmassy email to the recipient to tell them, and charge the giver a small percentage couldn't they? Anyway, ideas gratefully received. 🎄 🎁