DH has a hobby magazine delivered fortnightly. It comes in a clear wrapper. The last two magazines have been posted through our letterbox in the early hours by some random man who stops his car outside our house. The magazine wrappers, which show our name and address, are missing and the magazines have clearly been read.
I can only think that this man does an early shift at the sorting office, reads the magazine on his tea break then kindly drops it off at ours on the way home.

Or am I missing something?

My sister lives in canada with her DH and DD.
I have just bought my first home in the UK.
My parents live in a different european country.
We are all basically scattered and always have been.
My sister is fuming with me bevause she is going home with her family to my parents house for Christmas and because I have just bought my first home, I have decided to stay here and do Christmas with my DP instead.
The reason she is upset is because she feels that she has spent thousands on coming back home for Christmas and I cant even "be bothered" to get on a two hour flight. I understand what shes saying. She also begrudges the fact that I have only been out to see her once in the years shes been out there, but the truth is I'm skint - she knows this. I can't even afford a two week summer holiday in Europe, let alone buying a ticket to Canada.
The other thing is that my mum always said that the first home I buy, we would do Christmas at mine, because it would be nice for me and because shes sick of convoluted Christmas logistics and hosting. So the plan was we would do Christmas at mine, except my sister wanted to "go home for Christmas".
That was fine, I accepted that with good grace.
The other small (but irritating to me) detail is that when they go home, they take my mums only spare room (my sis and her family), which means that me, my DB and whoever else is there has to sleep on couches or get an Airbnb etc.

Anyway, I tried tk send her a heartfelt message explaining my position and she just said "No. I'm done, [my name]."

Im really upset and I want to know honestly: am I in the wrong here?

This is an old Hobbs skirt. With pencil skirt and smarter workwear coming back, I kind of like it but I also wonder if this will become “what was I thinking” item… https://ebay.io/m/gfSofJ

Basically as the title reads. Im so tired of this now.
Started with Kevin the carrot toys really, I remember battling queues just to get one toy.
What has made me angry today is seeing Asda christmas shelves empty of all the Home Alone items and disney ornaments. Just wanted 1 item and people buying ten of each. Checked vinted and yes I was right. A 4 quid decoration double the price.
Its really unfair for those of us who just want one thing and to find people bulk buying them.
Grrrrr. Im just miffed.

Hi all. I'm just caretaking until Reastie returns, but here's our new thread. Please do use up the old one first though.

This is intended as a friendly, kind, safe, warm and fuzzy place for people to share discounts, bargains and Christmas gift ideas both online and IRL. Please note the tone and intention of the thread and join with spirit as generous as DC helping themselves to the Christmas chocolate celebrations

Here’s some useful information about how to save the thread or a specific post so you don’t need to have a message to check in for every thread so you have the thread saved:

To watch the thread - click on the little bell that has ‘watch’ under my first message. This adds the whole thread to your ‘watched threads’

You can also bookmark a specific post by clicking on the ‘bookmark’ under the specific post. This saves your exact place in a thread but doesn’t alert you to new replies.

If you have any referral links or codes, please share them on the referral thread here:

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/christmas/5444936-bargain-referrals-thread-8

A reminder that we don't use affiliated links on here please

🎄 Emoji to copy if required for posting bargains as some agree this makes deals easier to spot. (or post in bold)

I'm posting in AIBU because there's so much traffic here and I'd love to get some advice on something.

I have 3 DC and the youngest is DD (9 almost 10). In some respects she is 9 going on 7, and in others she's 9 going on 15! My other two are boys so this is the first time the issue has come up.

I had my first period when I was 11 and I believe my DM started pretty young too. My own DD is showing absolutely no signs of puberty and still hasn't reached that stage were there's any significant difference between the boys and girls in her class. They all still play together and the boy/girl divide that sometimes starts to happen at around that age doesn't seem to have started yet.

Every time I broach anything even remotely linked to her and puberty, she changes the topic. I think because she has older siblings, she knows it's a "thing" but she has zero interest in it and is not in the least bit shy about her own body. Happily parades around the house looking for her pjs and towels when she's getting ready for the shower or getting dressed. Respects other people's privacy but doesn't feel the need for it herself just now.

Part of me wants to not force the issue and instinct tells me she's not quite ready for any "preparation" but another part of me worries that I'm thinking that because it's ME who's holding on to her innocence. I'd hate for her to get her period out of the blue and feel shocked and unprepared.

If it's relevant my own periods were HORRENDOUS with endometriosis that went undiagnosed well into adulthood. My DM was the same and I worry that this is what lies ahead for DD.

If you were in my position when would you start talking about periods? I can't mention my own because I have a coil and haven't had a period for years. Otherwise that would be a brilliant way in.

So....

YABU - worse would be that she's unprepared. Start talking about it now.
YANBU - give it a while and try again in 6 months time.

Just interested in this as I approach 50. I take collagen and a multi vit and am looking at my skincare.

wonder what else people do that I can take on too. I know I’m never going to look 20
again but if I can look as good as possible or for my age then I might be willing to
try it.

Other than the elusive Needoh, my DS really wants Pokemon cards for Christmas but I can't find them anywhere and a lot of online retailers seemed to have bumped the price up somewhat.

I have tried requesting to purchase through Amazon many times and never get selected, despite my Amazon account being over 25 years old! Not sure how you get approved for that.

Anybody got any good sources?

Hi all,
I'm not sure what I'm looking for.
Just looking for advice with coping with an upset. A bit of a background. I lost my twins at birth almost three years ago this week. It was incredibly unexpected and traumatic and I'm still getting counselling. One of my babies was stillborn and to our horror their sibling died in the NICU a few days later. We had to remove life support and they died in our arms. It's their birthday and anniversary this week.

My close friend had her first baby this week and I am thrilled for her. Except she has just texted me to say she has named her child the same name as one of my late babies. I was absolutely shocked I wont lie. I congratulated her and mentioned, it was the same name. She said "yeah it was between that name and another and I really liked it"

I know I dont own any names and she had every right to name her child, I think the week thats in it and the fact that she is my close friend has just hurt so much. It's my babies birthday this weekend and I guess I'm just so sad. I'm really not here to give out about her, just looking for a bit of support really and I guess it shocked me. My little ones would be 3 this week.

I've congratulated her and I'll see the baby whenever she is ready. Is it ok to step away for a bit just to get my head straight. I was already dreading my babies anniversaries this week.

Here we go round the mulberry bush, the mulberry bush, the mulberry bush……..

Who's else setting their alarms ridiculously early tomorrow morning to join the Tesco queue and bag their Christmas delivery slot? 🤣🎄

My husband gets up for work at 4:45am anyway, so he's already been instructed to wake me up at the same time so I can get myself ready to jump in the queue at 5am!

Thought I'd start a little thread so we can all keep each other company tomorrow morning while we're half asleep, clutching our coffees and desperately waiting for our turn to book our Christmas slots!

Who's joining me for the annual Tesco Christmas slot madness?

We were at an internationally renowned theatre in Warwickshire over the weekend where we experienced the following:

The patron sitting one seat away from me, was talking to his companion and in a loud voice started talking about a person he referred to as a ‘Jew boy’ and described how his feet were so small. He then wondered, out loud whether ‘they bind their feet like the Japanese.’ (Sic) He also pointed at people standing and said in a loud voice, ‘Look at them in the cheap seats.’ During the performance of the play, he started talking several times, so I asked him to ‘please stop talking as he was at the theatre not the bar.’ He stopped talking until the interval, although during the performance he kept pushing his left hand between the legs of his female companion, stroking up and down and otherwise groping her. (This was a couple in their 50s or 60s!)

During the interval, after my husband had left to collect our drinks, the man verbally attacked me. He and his companion continued to berate me and argue for several minutes because I had asked him to be quiet during the performance. He then said that they (he and his companion) had had to listen to me laughing like ‘ a stupid horse-woman’ and then they both started making braying noises while pointing at me.

i immediately picked up my coat and bag and left to find an usher. I told the usher who called the duty manager. I explained everything, by then I was in floods of tears. Her solution was to offer us different seats or tickets for another performance, which we accepted.

My AIBU is that the couple who attacked me remained in their seats and nothing was done about them, surely they should have been asked to leave? The theatre’s argument was that there were no independent witnesses! I was left feeling that I was the problem as it was me who left!

This is for a combination guest room and study.

We do have another room with a king size bed which can be used by couples visiting, but the intention is that this would be a daybed kind of structure in a small study, used occasionally when a single person staying, maybe at short notice.

They are normal length but 75cm wide rather than a normal single which is 90cm. I could fit a normal one in, but it's then quite cramped in the room, and the main use is a study.

At first I thought it would be too small for a large adult, but actually it's half of a king-size bed, so perhaps it's fine? Any experiences?

I'm beginning to really despair and am hoping someone might be able to offer some helpful advice, or even just reassure me that I'm not alone in this.

I have two children, DD11 and DS8, and they genuinely seem to despise each other. They never have a nice word to say to one another and the constant bickering, arguing and fighting is relentless.

My daughter is definitely worse. She looks at her brother as though he's something she's scraped off the bottom of her shoe. My son does occasionally try to be nice to her, but when it's constantly thrown back in his face, he understandably gets fed up and resorts to deliberately winding her up and calling her names.

I feel like I've tried absolutely everything. I appreciate that DD is approaching her teenage years and hormones are probably playing a part, so I do try to make allowances for that, but I've honestly reached the end of my tether.

Last week, I took them away to visit my dad and his family. It involved a four-hour flight, and my husband wasn't able to come, so I was parenting solo for the entire trip. What should have been a lovely week making memories with family was completely overshadowed by their constant arguing and nastiness towards each other. Even being around Grandpa didn't make a difference. If anything, they were worse, perhaps because my husband wasn't there to back me up.

Yesterday was my son's birthday, and I think that was the final straw for me. I asked DD to do just one simple thing and wish her brother a happy birthday in the morning, but she flatly refused.

We had planned a lovely afternoon doing an activity he'd chosen, followed by lunch somewhere of his choice. Unfortunately, their behaviour was so unbearable that we ended up coming home without going for lunch. I then spent the rest of the day in tears, feeling absolutely awful that his birthday had been ruined.

I just don't know what to do anymore. I feel completely defeated. I've got to the point where I genuinely dread going home in the evenings and dread the weekends because I know exactly what awaits me. Constant arguments, shouting, fighting and an atmosphere that makes being at home miserable for everyone.

I know siblings argue, and I never expected them to be best friends, but surely this level of hostility towards each other isn't normal?

I don't expect them to adore one another. I just want them to be able to coexist, show each other a basic level of kindness and respect, and for our home to feel like a happy place again.

Has anyone been through something similar and come out the other side? Is there anything that genuinely worked for you? Because right now, I feel completely broken by it all.

Name changed for this as potentially outing. Partner works abroad a lot. Has a client who he liaises with for work purposes whilst in their country, and who has a role in organising his scope of work etc beforehand - therefore communication between them when a job is imminent is frequent - sometimes via email sometimes via WhatsApp. He travels to the job 2-3 times a year, for the past few years. However during the last 12-18 months the contact between DP and the client has become more frequent, and not confined to communication about the job. The client seems to message an WhatsApp with an interest in what DP is doing in day to day life, particularly when working in other countries, The client seems to be overly-invested in DP’s work, referring to him in over-friendly (in my opinion) terms and asking him to send photos of where he’s working, letting them know he’s ok, asking him
to stay safe and let them know when he’s back. I have actually spoken to the client during social situations and they are lovely and show care and concern for DP, obviously holding him in high regard. However, I feel the communication between them is becoming inappropriate and I feel that the client is overstepping the mark. They have built a close relationship from a work point of view, but I think that the client is taking it too far in their frequent communication with him. He doesn’t help matters by replying and engaging with the client, and his reasoning is because he ‘feels sorry for them and they’re a nice person’. I have said that I feel uncomfortable about them messaging him and that it broaches the client/employee relationship. I have suggested that the client is forming an emotional bond with DP and that he should stop contact other than for business purposes. Should I let it go because there’s nothing in it from his point of view, or should I be more insistent the messaging stops, because I think it’s very weird?!

Hi!

Our flat has been on the market for nearly 2 months now and we’ve had 6 views and no offers. We are trying to upsize locally but can’t proceed until we have an offer. We’ve dropped the price twice now (starting £750 which we thought was too high) - we purchased for £690, 5 years ago. It’s a lovely area with excellent schools and great amenities.

When we purchased there was a queue out the door for viewings and a bidding war. It’s the biggest garden I’ve seen in our area (based on friends houses and viewing houses to buy) which was a huge selling point for us post Covid but some of the feedback we’ve had is that it’s too big!

We are a family but we’ve had no families looking, mostly single early 30s with gifted money rather than a mortgage. Not sure what else we can do!

www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/93523506#/?channel=RES_BUY

We’re going to an organised night at a very swanky club in the US

bearing in mind I haven’t been into a club in about 25 years, I’m 51, slim, tall, have cowboy boots, won’t wear heels

what the hell am I going to wear

(temp will be about 20 degrees)

Seriously.. my DS has had over a third of his lectures cancelled in first term. He’s no idea what he’s meant to be doing and nobody seems to care to help. Socially it’s brilliant, but academically I do not recommend!!!

Twas the night before the US Midterms...

Continuation of the AIBU to think my friend is overdoing emergency stockpiling thread for discussion about the government advice to stockpile for an imminent emergency and what the heck that emergency might actually be.

Spoiler: it's more of a perfect storm of lots of factors coming together to potentially form one great clusterfuck from economic woes, global energy shortages (mainly diesel), potential food shortages, war and madmen to crazy weather patterns rather than a clear identifiable singular thread.
This is a practical thread and a bit of a handhold thread to make sense of events and how they may affect you. This is not an end of the world thread.

Remember an emergency can range from a temporary unexpected event to a much longer crisis but the underlying principles generally stay the same.

This is the official government information and advice, if you want further details on what the actual recommendation are, here is the newest campaign blurb
https://beready.campaign.gov.uk/

Not going to do a status report this time, mainly because it's all about What Trump Does Next right now.

Previous threads
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5576816-aibu-to-think-my-friend-is-overdoing-emergency-stockpiling?page=1

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/5585259-crisis-what-crisis-is-my-friend-over-doing-the-stockpiling-and-am-i-too-continuation-thread-2?page=1

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/5591677-crisis-what-crisis-the-one-you-start-to-wish-youd-stockpiled-like-your-crazy-friend-continuation-thread-3?page=1

Well it's here....

https://www.johnlewis.com/content/christmas-advert

And I hate those bratty kids already LOL 😂😂😂

When DD (now 18) was at primary school she had a friend called Chloe.

DD was saying how Chloe was one of the nicest friends she has ever had. Kind and considerate. I agree she was a lovely little girl and her mum was lovely too.

However, she left when she was around 7/8 because her family were part of the Plymouth Brethren and so she was sent to a local school ran by the religion.

I have often wondered about this religion and those involved as it had some seemingly out of date rules and regulations. Chloe was never allowed to eat in front of any of her classmates if she did need to eat she would either go home ( her house was a few doors down from the school) or would have to be hidden behind a screen (according to dd).

Her mum was really lovely, always had time to talk, very friendly and polite as were all of Chloe’s siblings. I think the mum was a little more rebellious than the other brethren mum’s because although pleasant they never spoke to any of the other parents. All the women had long hair and would wear little head scarves, they were never in trousers, always wore skirts although Chloe’s mum wore leggings with a little skirt over the top.

Chloe would tell my dd they had no tv or computers and sang around a piano every evening. I did a little bit of research and not sure if it’s true but according to things I’ve read online they aren’t allowed to have any bad influences from the ‘outside world’ such as tv, radio or the internet. All those in our area appear to live only in detached houses (read they must not be attached to non brethren’s?) and the marriages are mostly arranged. This would not surprise me, the mum was stunningly beautiful and if you saw the dad you would absolutely not have paired those two together let alone having five children together!

Although the family moved away from our village some years ago they still live nearby and occasionally I see the mum, she always remembers me and will chat a little. From my experience they are all very polite and appear such lovely people.

But they do seem such an reclusive group of people and although they come across as so very friendly and happy as a group I wonder if there is another side to it all? I’m not sure any of the women are allowed to work outside of family business but maybe I’m wrong. Are they allowed much independence and are all the marriages arranged?

Does anyone know much about this religion?

My DD’s state primary school has a “top maths club” and “great writers club” for the top performing students in yr 5 and 6 held outside of school hours. There is no charge for this - so it’s free childcare and free tutoring. You have to be invited. This has been running since the second week of the school year and is restarting on the first day of this half term.

By contrast, my dyslexic DD is in a group for those needing more support in writing, also outside of school hours. But they only managed 2 sessions last year and it hasn’t started back up this year. She gets ad hoc in school support; where it happens she misses other lessons that aren’t then caught up on, putting her further behind in the those.

I appreciate these children deserve challenging, but surely that could be done in class with different work and the teacher’s out of hours time, if available, used to help those struggling?

Is this even allowed in a state primary?

I took a cab yesterday. I asked the driver to go a certain way (the cheapest) he didn't like it, but went. We got to a crossroads, when we were on top he asked which way, I didn't have time to answer so he went straight on. I said oh we are. Not going the cheapest way. He then turned and said don't threaten me, I can turn nasty when provoked. We then had an argument, I said drop me as soon as you can. I then had a 10 minute walk to my destination. I have a bad heart. And I am. 76. Not old these days but still not young. I'm. Not going do pretend that I am a sweet innocent. I then called him a f###### moron. But I was shaking, and he frightened me. What would you have done?
.

I am on the search for a new winters coat and the top criteria is that it needs to be really warm. I am on chemo and I’ve lost quite a lot of weight so I am feeling the cold more than I ever have before.

I am not worried about waterproofing, and I need the coat to enable me to sit outside for a few hours each week to watch my kids do their sports activities.

I am 5ft and a size 10, so nothing too long and ideally something that looks nice-ish but as I said warmth is the top priority.

I’m looking for some honesty and some bluntness from everyone, please.
In January this year, 10 months ago, I finally got myself out of an abusive marriage of 16 years. To use the current terminology, it was “controlling, coercive, manipulative, Financial and sexual abuse. Threats of violence always hung over me, but usually only resulted in things being broken and things thrown at me.
We have a son who is now 14 years old. And he is the reason I never left any earlier than now. I could handle the abuse, I made the best of things and I shielded our Son from it as much as I could. I could tolerate it to keep my family together.
But this time last year, it all started to get too much. Combined with the fact that I was suddenly financially in a position to get out. Our financial situation was no longer all in my husband’s hands for the very first time.
So I instigated a separation and asked my husband to leave the family house.
The price I have paid though is that he took our 14-year-old Son with him and moved over overseas.
My husband blocked me from contacting our Son in anyway unless it was through him. I even wrote letters and posted them, but my husband sent me videos of himself burning them and telling me not to bother again.
In the last 10 months, I’ve only seen our Son once, when I flew there for three days and only got less than an hour with him. And I have only spoken to him on the phone three times in the last 10 months extremely briefly and with my husband always in the background.
He does not facilitate or help with any contact, in fact he does the opposite.
He has told me to forget I have a Son, to forget I had a family. Saying that this is my punishment because I broke the family.
Obviously, this is heartbreaking and consumes every moment of my day.
My questions are:-

1. Do I just wait and hope that our Son eventually comes back to me?
2. Do I keep flying over there every three or four months and hope to get some time with him? And at least then our Son knows I’m trying.
3. Do I give up everything in the UK and move to be nearby our Son overseas so at least I can see him frequently and be in his life.
4. Do I try to reconcile with my husband and bring the family back together? Despite it putting me back in the same place that I was in. Should I tolerate it all again for the sake of our Son?