DD (nearly 7) wants a till for Christmas. All the ones I can find are either really baby-ish suitable for 3yrs up types, or actual tills that look the part but will potentially slam her fingers to bits in the drawer.

Does a realistic till for older children exist please? Any recommendations?

Thank you x

Hi, I have a cleaner who is meant to work 11 to 4, so 5 hours. She is often at least 15 mins late, but always leaves on the exact dot at 4pm. She literally can't get out fast enough. 15 mins I can let slide. However, today she came at 11.30. I was here today, so as I saw her leaving at 4 exactly, I said, "Oh thanks for everything... so just 4 and a half hours today then?" She said, "No, I was here 11.15." I told her it was actually 11.30 and that I don't want to sound fussy, but 30 mins is £10 and to me, if I started 30 mins late, I would make it up the other end. Not to mention, she was talking on her phone when she arrived and always takes about 20 mins to get started anyway (but I didn't mention this). This isn't the first time I've told her about timing. Her work is ok, but not great tbh. So I've sent her £90 this week instead of the usual £100. To me, it's just the principle of the matter, and when people are like this it doesn't sit well with me. I'm very flexible with her otherwise and she seems a nice person. AIBU?

I am really struggling to find some nice ankle boots that will also be comfortable. I used to have some great ones from Russell and Bromley. I would prefer not completely flat - just a one inch block heel.

i bought some of those slightly taller chunky Chelsea boots that everyone has been wearing but I think my ankles are too narrow for them and so my heel moves and they are really uncomfortable.

My husband is getting more gorgeous with every year that passes. Hes really grown in to himself. Me, on the other hand am turning into my grandmother. I am a mum who works at home. Housewife we would have been called back in the day. Im in my mid 50's now and I need a glow up. I never wore make up and i think i need to start. but since many of my days are spent only in the house or caring for elderly mum i dont know when to put it on, Also whats a casual but polished style now adays with out looking like the local free P pastors wife?
i need serious help. Photo for ref. dont look quite my age yet but no idea how to dress or what to do with my face. can i have advice please Skincare regime is good and skin is clear. thanks peeps.

I am a mum of 3 (6,5 & 1) and recently feel like I am shouting a lot at the oldest 2, not screaming but loudly shouting their names or ‘stop it’ when they are just not listening, being dangerous or fighting. I then tend to cycle between guilt and overwhelm. I have tried asking nicely but when I have asked 10+ times to put shoes on the only thing that works is shouting their name. Yesterday my older boy (6) was being dangerous while walking home from school and after asking him to stop multiple times I shouted ‘can you just stop it’ so loud all the other mums turned and looked. Other things I shout are ‘come back here’ or ‘get down’ etc. I seem to be the only one doing it though. I model saying sorry, try and explain impact etc and in general do try and ask nicely many times. In general though they just ignore me. I am not sure what to do to improve behaviour and when I google shouting it seems like I am the only one doing it and I need to be better - but how? Those that have cracked parenting, what is the answer? Sometimes I think mine need more fear of consequence but I obviously don’t want to unfairly upset them. How do I dial back the shouting while maintaining any kind of control? Like I get they are tired as near the end of half term and I try and be understanding but one completely ignoring me doesn’t help for the other 2 when we need to get to school etc.

I see this all over MN and elsewhere - women declaring that its vital to wear a high factor SPF EVERY day.

Today its late October, high storm with ferocious wind and rain,why on earth would anyone put SPF on? Even if I was going outside, it would be for a tiny amount of time. The iphone tells me the UV index is 1. Please tell me what benefit wearing an SPF today would give anyone?

I wear SPF in summer on my face but only if/when I'm going outdoors. I'm not anti SPF - and the range of SPF available for the face is fabulous, but I am much more of an "apply as needed" type. I think about my day, the time of year etc.

Applying SPF in winter, on days with low UV ratings when you're likely to be indoors most of the day seems ridiculous. Unless I was to spend a sunny winter day outdoors hiking, I won't apply SPF until spring now and I think this is sensible.

What do people think they are achieving applying SPF through a British winter? Why the advice to wear high SPF layer on your face every day religiously?

I am currently off work sick with flu. I have been off for the past 3 days. I am really not well enough to return to work tomorrow but am concerned that this will affect my sick leave and the 5 days holiday will be counted as such. It is a state school, not academy or indie. School is reasonable, very rarely ill.

Does anyone know? Thanks

I'd love to diversify my cool weather wardrobe a little. I'm looking for dresses that hit mid calf or a bit lower but are not full length (this is non-negotiable); I'm a little busty so variations on v necks or bodices with buttons you can unbutton are best. Long sleeves or 3/4 length sleeves; these would be day dresses. Very very strongly prefer a gentle A line that isn't interrupted by a waist seam. Size 14, but tallish with the weight spread reasonably evenly. Autumn/winter weight, please. (I fantasize about the perfect needlecord dress.) Can't wear yellow/orange/brown/lime green/olive drab colours. Strong blues, teal, dark green, dark red, dark purple, and even black especially welcome!
And I'd love to pay less than £150 (per dress, that is!). (Not asking a lot, am I? 🙂) Suggestions?

We cannot understand what is happening here. I took her to the gp on day 4. Gp did all the usual tests and only symptom was enlarged glands on her neck. At that time her appetite was very low and she intermittendly felt sick but no vomiting. Two weeks later and no improvement. I took her back to the gp, saw a different gp who did all the usual tests and found nothing of concern. She referred us for bloods. The soonest they could do bloods was the following two weeks. Bloods done, blood clotted so they had to re-test yesterday and we're waiting on results. Between the second gp visit and now I took her to a & e as over that weekend I became so worried and called 111 who said to take her to a & e. Doctor found nothing of concern at a & e.

In between this time her appetite has returned but she will not do anything at all and the only reason she can give is her energy feels low and she sometimes feels sick. She stays in her room all day and is even reluctant to come downstairs for meals. She seems unhappy and speaks to both her Dad and I in this very quiet sad voice but when speaking to her twin sister her voice is kind of normal, just a bit quieter.

We cannot understand this. She's managed two weeks in her first year at secondary. She managed a couple days back during all this but didn't want to return the following Monday as she said she still didn't feel well. We wondered if it was some sort of school based anxiety but she is adamant there are no issues there.

She's genuinely upset to have missed some Halloween activities we had planned and more than once has asked when will I feel better so this doesn't sound like a child thats putting it on.

We suspect she's on the spectrum somewhere as she finds it difficult to explain how she feels amoungst other traits.

She's not any worse but also not getting any better.

Anyone have any thoughts or experience on this?

I know I probably am being unreasonable and I’m just feeling a bit sorry for myself but I’ve found out in the only one from a group of “friends” who wasn’t invited to a birthday party at the weekend.

A bit of backstory, a few years ago I became friends with a lady through school who invited me out with some other mum friends she had from school. I didn’t really know these ladies but we’ve been out a few times and I’ve always thought I’ve gotten on well with them. We also have an active group chat where I chat with all the ladies regularly (we don’t all see each other at school run etc as I work full time)

Now one lady was 40 last week. I will be the first to admit I don’t know this women very well at all and haven’t spoken to her much apart from polite chit chat in person, so I would never expect to be invited to her party, but I’ve found out every other member of this group was invited to her party at the weekend and I just think if it was me, I wouldn’t have left one person out of a group dynamic , even if I didn’t know them that well. I’m also more surprised as I would say at least two women probably have the same relationship I have with her from when I spoken to them so it does feel a bit more personal. I would also understand more if numbers were limited but it was in a pub hall.

just that really! I would be buying online so nice to know about sizing quality styling etc. thank you ☺️

First time posting but want to know if IABU.
Sorry its long but dont want to miss anything as could use some advice.

First a bit of background info. My mum and I have a complex relationship as I didnt have a stable childhood and weve never addressed that. I spent a lot of time being raised by my grandparents (mums parents who are sadly no longer here). I have a (step) dad who is my dad. Im an only child but my dad has other children from previous relationship who I am not close to.

My mum has never been good with money management. Always in debt and putting holidays and non essentials on her credit cards. She cares a lot about how she looks and the image she projects to people. For example will only wear designer clothes and wants brand new cars and multiple big holidays a year.

My dad and mum keep their money seperate and have alwayd covered half of house / bills each, and have always earned similar, decent amounts. He also gives money to to his other adult children regularly to help with cost of living and mum disapproves of this.

So here is my situation.

Im married with 2 primary aged children and have come into a substantial amount of money as a result of an accident associated with negligence, which has resulted in the need for extensive lifelong care for my young child as they now have a severe disability and will need 24 hour care for the rest of their life. As it was birth related both my child and I have a pot of money.

Due to my daughters care needs, we have needed to move house. My mum asked if she and dad could she rent our house from us as she had taken out loans against her house making it no longer affordable and she was at risk of loosing it. I agreed as didn't want to see my parents homeless or have to move to a more affordable area, but did have reservations.

I am not making any profit from my parents. They are covering the mortgage which costs exactly 1/4 of what hers was, and about 1/5 - 1/6 of what rentals of the same size are in our area. We had a great mortgage deal, so for a 3 bed house she is paying about £270 a month. I even did some work to the house to modernise it for her before she moved in. She is paying her bills but i pay for her petrol as she occassionly collects one of my children from school (my child needs a specialist provision while other is in mainstream). Parents sold their house, paid off mums debts and had just around £50k leftover last year. She paid me her part of 1 years rent up front when she first moved in.

The year has now passed and shes made no attempt to hand over any money or even mention paying me. She has spent all the money leftover after repaying debt from her house sale and recently got medical retirement as she found continued working wasn't good for her stress levels. At the moment she has £600 left over after bills and rent. She recently asked to borrow from me to get her nails done for a holiday, has had her hair done and has another long haul holiday booked (so not cheap). She constantly says she has no money and makes comments like 'its alright for you, youre sorted and dont need to work again or worry about anything.' Now, I worked from being a teenager full time, had a good career and had to leave work to care for my child. I also obviously worry about them and their future but I feel like my mum misses that point, and that the vast majority of the money is needed for my childs care. If I try and approach money with her she becomes possessive and defensive.

She is my mum and I dont have siblings so she feels that its my responsibility to help and support her.

To be transparent she did help by loaning bits of money in the past but I have repaid her everything Ive borrowed, and given her more. I feel like I've helped her clear her debts, treat her to things like hair and nails, presents I know she and dad would like. I pay her petrol.

So I now don't know what to do. My friend and husband think she's unreasonable, and will continue to expect me to bail her out and pay for her general living costs if I dont put really firm boundaries in place now. They think i should ask her to pay the money to cover the mortgage or else she cannot live in my house and I would look to sell up... i dont fully disagree but it also impacts my dad, and my mum is still my mum. I feel very guilty because of this, and I can't afford to subsidise her life by any means as most of the money is for my child and their extensive support needs. My mum will make comments like 'cant take it with you, or no pockets in shrouds' Ive suggested to my husband maybe asking an estate agent to manage it for me, but then we will incur the costs and he questions why we should when she has a good deal. My mum has no savings and wouldnt really have another living option if I sold.

Would it be unreasonable to ask mum to pay her rent or tell her I will need to sell. Please try and be kind as I am already feeling guilt and confusion

Welcome back all.

We rattled through the last thread and with Black Friday round the corner this one will go fast too. I hope we haven't all spent up on advents... 😂

Thank you as always to our regulars for you contributions and if you've been reading and thinking of joining come and say hello. 😊

Previous threads
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5576816-aibu-to-think-my-friend-is-overdoing-emergency-stockpiling?page=1
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/5585259-crisis-what-crisis-is-my-friend-over-doing-the-stockpiling-and-am-i-too-continuation-thread-2?page=1

Continuation of the AIBU to think my friend is overdoing emergency stockpiling thread for discussion about the government advice to stockpile for an imminent emergency and what the heck that emergency might actually be.

Spoiler: it's more of a perfect storm of lots of factors coming together to potentially form one great clusterfuck from economic woes, global energy shortages (mainly diesel), potential food shortages, war and madmen to crazy weather patterns rather than a clear identifiable singular thread.
This is a practical thread and a bit of a handhold thread to make sense of events and how they may affect you. This is not an end of the world thread.

Remember an emergency can range from a temporary unexpected event to a much longer crisis but the underlying principles generally stay the same.

This is the official government information and advice, if you want further details on what the actual recommendations are:
https://prepare.campaign.gov.uk/get-prepared-for-emergencies/

ROUGH STATUS REPORT (as of 9am 22nd Oct - please note this isn't fully comprehensive, and is moving FAST)
Civil Unrest reported in:
France, Italy, Greece, Belgium, Albania, Indonesia - multi reasons, but largely due to economic pressures and the cost of living
Spain has had problems but these have temporarily stopped, probably due to significant weather related issues due to the Dana effect
More protests planned for this coming weekend
High Alert in the Middle East:
Netanyahu now committed to regime change in Iran, as he believes they are developing a nuke.
The US has pulled all Embassy Staff from Saudi Arabia and is hoping no one notices that they've ordered personal and families across the Gulf home and then seem to have lied that they have.
The Emir of Qatar has stated at their equivalent of the annual King's Speech at the Opening of Parliament that war was coming and to prepare for the worst scenarios. US pulling planes out of Qatar.
The Egyptian PM has warned the country of severe crisis ahead - given the nature of the country this is related to their alliance with Saudi Arabia and their reliance on the Suez Canal which the Yemeni rebels now control access to and their exposure to famine
Iran is saying if there is another attack, the gloves are off and they'll try and wipe out the middle east oil industry as they go down, as well as hitting critical civilian infrastructure.
Much movement / noise is similar to run up to the first US attacks this year. Debate over whether the attack will come before the Israeli Election or the US Midterms - possibly within 72hours - latest mood music suggests potentially this weekend. Seems to be shifting to a when not if.
Israel election: 27th Oct
Prices and Shortages:
Diesel needs no real reminder - we need it for haulage, mass transportation and farming, we are screwed without it. Fuel Emergency declarations in West Virgina, Kentucky, Michigan, Maryland, Arizona, Nebraska and Texas - typically allowing limited dyed diesel use for ag or commercial vehicles. Illinois and Missouri have also allowed by not under emergency orders. Less reported is the fertiliser shortage and knock on effect, poor yields this year and the effect of El Nino on next years, sulphur export bans and the blockade on Ukrainian and Russian wheat exports which are particularly crucial in feeding North Africa and the Middle East. This is liable to have significant impact on the UK with 6% rises in food already expected next year (and there's every reason to believe this will be higher especially with civil unrest all over the place). Reports of aviation fuel running low in some parts of Europe with emergency supplies (which can't last forever) being used.
El Nino:
See above about farming and also think of disasters - like the ones Spain is facing with flooding. Storm Austin is incoming and there is a weather warning for the South of England with power outages and flooding possible today/tomorrow.
The Internet:
PHP is 70% of the internet. Its got compromised so it can pretty much all be hacked. This is VERY BAD (in capital letters). Many websites offline whilst this is sorted including multiple government ones around the world.
Just AI generally - everything from putting everyone out of work to just hacking and killing us all. No Biggie.
Trump and the Mid Terms:
Trump is firmly losing his marbles. He's defected to Russia, can't stop rambling about men's arses, is waving at non-existent people, his team are known to be considering ways to impose martial law, he's getting heckled at Trump rallies by his own supporters, 83% of all voters think the biggest problem in the US now isn't the cost of living crisis but government corruption. He's being called a traitor by some of his fellow Reds. Mid Terms look a disaster and Trump probably won't accept them. He's reversing bills that Congress passed weeks ago by executive order.
Mid-Terms: 3rd Nov
Ukraine and Russia:
Ukraine facing massive problems still cos Elon has got the ump. Starlink isn't working at face enough speeds. They've bombed a shedload of Data Centres in Russia. This has killed off the Russian Internet and many Trump/Musk supporters in the process (one way or another) which screws up Twitter (and its value) for them. Ukraine is getting blamed for diesel shortages cos they refuse to stop hitting Russian refineries even though it has no choice now its been cut off by the US. Zelenskyy now says Trump isn't an ally. Trump wants Zelensky gone and thinks Putin is being reasonable and Ukraine doesn't want peace. Germany states it would have activated Art5 if the confirmed Russian sabotage attack on Liepzig had been successful.
Russia is apparently planning to step up its sabotage campaign in Europe after having successfully sunk a few boats in EU waters (Romania / Bulgaria - these sinkings have been in both international waters off the coast AND within their official territorial waters).
Economy:
Lots of debt. Much concern over the implications of this particularly with regards to AI and state debt in the US, UK, France and Japan (but not restricted to). Much money put into gold by China. Background of this bad given the approach of potentially multiple crisis.
France Moody's credit review: Due tomorrow 23rd Oct - expected to be not good especially in the current political climate in France
UK Budget: 28th October

They are all interconnected and one or many could tip us into abject chaos. Or not. The risks here are sky high. Of what? Take your pick.

If you’re the type of woman says “all I want for Christmas is a hug from my children and a single Ferrero Rocher” then that’s absolutely lovely but not what I’m asking. I need ideas for stuff for myself, lovely things I may not have come across, to put on my Christmas list!!

So far I have a voucher for a Margaret Dabbs medical pedicure
A new casserole dish, Le Creuset style
The secret of cooking by Bee Wilson
A little zip up thing to put in my handbag with my essentials

I’d love some really nice knitwear also.
What sort of lovely things are on your lists?

Property originally listed last year (2025) for £520k. Reduced to £475k, didn't sell. On market for 6 months.

Reslisted this year for £450k. One offer in first week, no other offers apart from mine (accepted £435k in 4th month).

I've had a building survey done and needs a new roof (costs £20k approx).

Seller initially did not budge on price, so I withdrew 4 weeks ago, & she relisted. Yesterday, she came back and offered "£3-4k reduction"

I'm thinking minimum 50% of cost. Is this reasonable and how would you negotiate this?

I am going out this evening to buy food we can eat for three days without cooking. But what? So far I thought,
Tinned sardines
Bread for the freezer
Jam and marmite
Nuts
Wine

What else would you buy? Please don't talk about things you can cook, I just want things that need no cooking but we could live on for three days. Thanks.

I know it's slow progress, baby steps etc but my most recent experiences are vastly improved from say, 4 years ago.

Then I would be on the phone for hours trying to get an appointment or a repeat prescription.

Now I send an electronic request and they come back to me same day, the one I just sent was literally within minutes.

Then, it wasn't unusual to be offered an appointment 6 weeks away, now it's within days.

I had blood tests yesterday. The appointment was 3 days after the GP appointment that requested it and the results are already on the App. The surgery has already been in touch re follow up.

I also need a non urgent Utrasound. It's been booked for less than 2 weeks after the GP appontment. I already have an appointment to discuss the results as week later.

My Dad had a hip replacement, 4 days after the consultant said it was required.

DP has just found an NHS dentist after being without for a decade or more.

Thankfully I don't use the NHS that much, but my recent experience seems much improved.

his son dobbed him in? Is it true?
x.com/gbpolitcs/status/2113385754353103129?s=46

I really am.

Monday my lovely old cat has to be put to sleep, I’d had him for 15 years and it was very sad and sudden.

Tuesday I got a call from my sister to say my dad had a suspected stroke, really unwell and in hospital, although luckily it wasn’t a stroke but he’s still very unwell in hospital and will be there for a
while.

Wednesday my other cat went out and I haven’t seen him since and I am just sick with worry about him. I honestly feel like I’m cursed this week.

just want to go to bed and cry but on my way to see my old dad (3 hour journey!).

has anyone got any good
news stories to cheer me up (especially re missing cats).

I fancy a nice one for myself this year. I don't usually do chocolate as I can't have milk but do enjoy the vegan ones though. Would like something a bit different this year. Maybe tea, or candles, or any other suggestions?!

say you have been on 3 dates and he suggests a holiday as the 4th

I’ve only ever gained weight until recently really trying to get into shifting it. I cannot figure out if I eat 1000 calories a day what amount of weight will I lose?? Everywhere says maybe 2lbs. “Maybe” two!! Surely more? I really want to lose 3lbs a week so I can go into next year feeling a little better. 37. 5’4 and 13 and a half stone

And starts signing trade deals within hours.

Huzzah for Reform - taking back control.

My kids are 7 (DD) and 4 (DS) years old. I'd like to buy some smaller/cheaper presents for them that they will continue to play with for longer than the Christmas holidays. They love animals, make believe/dress up, crafts and preferably something that would encourage them to play together.

Can anyone recommend something tried and tested for say less than £20?