https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cr5yev2v1x29o

Oh God bless him! Every parents worse nightmare!

I’m between jobs at the moment and have decided to use some of the time to basically snag my own house.

I’m going through every room and making a note of all the little things that have mildly irritated me for YEARS, but which I’ve somehow just accepted as part of life. You know the sort of thing - not actual problems, just things you regularly curse under your breath and then continue living with for another five years.

So far I have:

1. Ruthlessly slimmed down the kitchen cupboards so I could lose one cupboard and fit a tumble dryer. Every winter I normally spend approximately 46% of my waking hours hanging damp clothes around the house and rotating them like prize livestock, so I’m disproportionately excited about this.

2. Reorganised the Tupperware so every container now lives WITH ITS OWN LID. No more rummaging through 17 lids while slowly losing the will to live.

3. Thrown out about 12 random, ancient, slightly raggedy towels that had been granted permanent residency in the airing cupboard. It now has SPACE. Things are FOLDED.

4. Replaced the sieve that hasn’t had a handle since approximately 2020. Why did I just... live like that?

5. Put bigger shoe storage by the door, so we no longer have the traditional hallway shoe landslide.

6. Rewired a switch so it finally works the way you instinctively expect it to work rather than requiring a tiny moment of irritation every single time.

Honestly, none of this is exactly world peace, but the cumulative improvement to my quality of life is ridiculous. I keep thinking, WHY DID I PUT UP WITH THIS FOR SO LONG?

So humour me: what tiny, boring, seemingly insignificant thing have you changed/fixed/bought/reorganised in your house that has made you disproportionately happy?

I want the really mundane ones. The things nobody is putting on Grand Designs but which have genuinely made your day-to-day life better.

Basically, tell me what else I should be wandering around my house looking for 😂

We were out for lunch as a family, talking about careers / uni / future with DSS 18. When he started saying that he didn’t think it was right that I earn more than DH, that it isn’t right, not how he wants to be in the future, he sees it as the man’s role to be the provider.
He’s never said anything like this in the past and found the comment really worrying. DH and I are a team, it doesn’t matter who earns what just that we like our jobs and can provide well for our family. I know these attitudes exist, but find it upsetting to be coming from DSS. I’m pretty pissed, why isn’t he seeing it as a positive thing?

Hope I'm not tempting fate with that thread title
This is intended as a friendly, kind, safe, warm and fuzzy place for people to share discounts, bargains and Christmas gift ideas both online and IRL. Please note the tone and intention of the thread and join with spirit as generous as DC helping themselves to the Christmas chocolate celebrations .

Here’s some useful information about how to save the thread or a specific post so you don’t need to have a message to check in for every thread so you have the thread saved:

To watch the thread - click on the little bell that has ‘watch’ under my first message. This adds the whole thread to your ‘watched threads’

You can also bookmark a specific post by clicking on the ‘bookmark’ under the specific post. This saves your exact place in a thread but doesn’t alert you to new replies.

If you have any referral links or codes, please share them on the referral thread https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/christmas/5577375-bargain-referrals-thread

A reminder that we don't use affiliated links on here please (I think that's the term, let me know if I got that wrong).

If there’s anything you think would be useful or good to include in this post then please do tag me and let me know here (or DM me).

You are all wonderful and I’m now going back to my mince pie and stollen (never too early!).

Breaking news in the Daily Mail. Duke and Duchess of Sussex's children 'removed from school after two days' mol.im/a/16130877 via https://dailym.ai/android

I do wonder if there is actually any school that will be able to meet their expectations in regard to security. I'm interested to see how it all plays out.

Was grimly cheered to see this article on the Guardian this morning as within my social circle this does seem to be increasing and no one is talking about it.

I include myself in that number as I took a career break last Summer and am still not working, looking after my Mum and Dad as well as doing normal Mum of primary aged kid things for my DD. For me it was definitely the combo of kids and parents that meant I was about to have a breakdown.

But within my social circle I know of one other good friend who is also only able to do the most meagre bank shifts as she has three kids and a Mum that needs lots of support. Another friend both her and her partner are working very part time due to their autistic daughter.

For me, it was the ‘right decision’ in the sense I’m not struggling as much mentally. But it’s awful in terms of my pension, independence, long term career prospects. Social care is utterly broken in my opinion.

I was just wondering if there are other Mumsnetters out there who are in this position?

I met the most amazing man. Gentle, calm, sweet. My nervous system felt safe around him. After a few months I raised that he wasn’t very affectionate/sexual and I am, and it was making me feel a bit unwanted. I felt like a friend more than a partner. I wanted us to discuss it. He’s never had a relationship before (he’s 35) and is very reserved. He said he didn’t know how to show more affection in a way that felt natural to him.

we ended up agreeing to breakup. The next day I went on holiday with my kids. We didn’t talk for a few days. I realised I missed him and was being stupid, I had the most perfect man and surely love is more important than having more affection? So I messaged him to see if we could talk.

the next couple of weeks was back and forth but we arranged to meet and talk. I found his messages distant and cold but he is very reserved so that’s probably not how he meant to come across. At times I got annoyed and upset and sent long paragraphs like an idiot. He told me he wanted to fix it, that he cared about me etc.

it’s been a month since the initial split. But only a week since we were supposed to meet and talk. we didn’t meet because we ended up almost arguing over how he was coming across as unbothered. He said he felt it was best to end the relationship.

the last week I’ve been trying to fix it, suggesting to meet, explaining how I feel, giving him space, and he has now said he doesn’t think we can pick up where we left off.

theres 100% not another woman, he’s not the type. I’m his first ever girlfriend, the only thing I’m sure of is that there’s no other woman.

this is gonna be the nice guy I should’ve stayed with isn’t it?

he said as time went on he realised it couldn’t be fixed because of the way it was handled, he said he’d handled it badly and regretted it. He knows how hurt I am. The initial problem of affection is pretty much not an issue is it, it’s now how unbothered he comes across.

im heartbroken. His last message was simply “that’s a sweet message. But I don’t think we can pick up where we left off, I’m sorry.”.

ive asked why. He hasn’t replied.

im utterly devastated. If we had actually talked I’m sure it could have been resolved.

im a talker, i will talk and talk until its fixed. He’s more reserved and avoids conflict.

I get anxious with the silence so rush to fill it.

130am and can’t sleep as anxious about what he’ll say next. I told him in my message that I’d missed him etc, I didn’t get any reply to that bit. If he told me his feelings had gone it would hurt but at least I’d know

My partner is asking me for ideas as we have a budget for each other.

All I've come up with so far is

• book: the dark lords guide to honeymooning *dvd of frankenstein (guillermo del toro one)

Decent amount left over budget wise for more ideas but if I leave him to his own devices dh picks terrible gifts lol 😆 (i'm talking onesie 3 sizes too small etc)

It got me wondering what everyone is asking for for Xmas this year either from family, partners or to treat yourselves?

We have had a cleaner for coming up to 4 years now and she’s brilliant, no complains from us whatsoever.

The reason we have a cleaner is because, like most people who do, we find it makes life much easier with a young child, and both my DH and I working a substantial distance from home, about an hour to an hour and a half’s commute a few times a week plus starting this year, school drop offs and pick ups etc. Our lives are chaotic but nothing out of the ordinary for young-ish professionals with a young child, except maybe the substantial commutes. Having a cleaner is definitely a God send!

Apparently, however, today she pulled my husband aside as he was WFH and told him that we need to do better, because she needs to do a “hard factory reset” every time she comes over.

Our house was definitely messy today after a weekend where we hosted and were away on the Saturday! But we don’t leave disgusting messes, food, we don’t have bugs etc (feel ashamed to even have to say this!), we aren’t hoarders, and our house is just a normally messier than we’d like it to be but not disgusting by any means 3 bed. The best way to put this would be, I guess, if announced guests had popped up today I would not have thought it the best time and would have said “sorry for the mess” but I wouldn’t have been excessively worried or scrambling about to get the place ready, as I wouldn’t have thought there was anything particularly bad about it just not “visitor-ready” and messy.

I feel so embarrassed now though and mum guilt has kicked in - I keep thinking that there’s plenty of full time working parents who don’t have a cleaner so what am I doing wrong.

She only does 2 hours a week but she did start out doing 3, with the idea initially being that she would do the general clean in 2 hours and do one deep-cleaning thing each time, she is the one who asked for fewer hours. We pay above the average rate which is not me congratulating ourselves by any means and we never minded as she does do an excellent job, just to clarify we are not under-paying her or anything like that!

I guess I just feel a bit ashamed and don’t know if she had a point or was this weird? Presumably people have cleaners to clean and sometimes the house is not in top shape when your cleaner arrives, but I thought that was normal? As I said we never leave messes for her to deal with later on purpose or any disgusting things, but part of me can’t help but feel extremely ashamed and bad!

I kind of know it is but can’t seem to stay away … anyone else?

I went to an auction at the weekend and I ended up buying a fur coat. AI tells me its mink. Its long & glossy & brown. From the look of the lining its very vintage.

I'm not vegan or vegetarian even, and I while am very happy that the UK banned fur farming I don't have any issue with wearing vintage fur - in fact I see it as honouring the poor dead wee mink.

What would happen to these old coats if they aren't worn or enjoyed? they would end up in landfill. Fake fur are a plastic environmental nightmare (though I did buy a 2nd hand vintage fake fur last winter - maybe it was a gateway fur.)

So I don't have a problem with vintage fur.

I don't know if I would wear it out. But I struggle to keep warm while WFH in the winter so I may well wear it as my WFH warming coat.

What's your take on vintage fur? Would you?

I am not sure this is the right area to post this.
Apart from the everyday mess from DH, he is also a terrible hoarder. So home is as bad as the programs in TV (same excuses and lies from him too). He has recently applied for a job which will allow for more work from home. Quite frankly I am dreading it as it will include more mess (cooking snacks and bedding and paper work scattered around the place). He often makes this kind of mess when he has previously WFH and been ill/had annual leave We both work in stressful jobs btw. Working from home would help his stress and I understand that. He has been supportive when I've gone for jobs so I feel guilty for not being helpful and enthusiastic for him.

I didn't want to go on about how I hate living like this, but another issue that bugs me is that there is virtually no support for families of hoarders. Also from what I've read online, the ball is in their court and everyone else has to wait for the day they are ready.

NC

Not sure if AIBU so posting here for opinions.

We are a group of 8 friends. We have been friends for 30+ years. We meet every 3 months or so.

We all have children who are now aged between 16-25.

One of the group has now started inviting/bringing her three adult children.

We have a WhatsApp group with the 8 of us in it.

One of us will message the group to arrange the next meet up and this one friend will reply that they can come and so can her children.

I don’t want to meet up with her children, so I have declined the last meet up and just said I’m busy but to carry on without me.

I just think it completely changes the dynamic of the group and I don’t really want to share personal stuff that may be going on in my life that I would otherwise share with the group for their opinions etc

Two of the group also feel the same as me, but I don’t know about the others.

We haven’t been asked if it’s ok, we have just been told they are coming.

They also aren’t particularly nice to be around.

The time before last, I did go, but it was basically a monologue of them, their achievements and how amazing they are. No one else really got a word in.

AIBU?

Is this what normally happens in groups, when the children become adults? We never really all met up with the children as children.

I have a fairly dysfunctional family so don’t know if this is standard.

Opinions appreciated.

Thanks

I’ve had Hague Blue cabinets for 6 years and getting a respray in a couple of weeks. Bored of blue and so it’s a toss up between Farrow and Ball sage and Skimming stone. I’ve added an AI mockup of my actual cabinets in Skimming Stone. Does anyone have this colour in a Matt finish and if not, any recommendations for colours which have worked out well?

Oak worktops which will also be changed in time to white quartz, but not yet and probably not in the life of this respray.

thanks

Welcome back everyone to the new thread and hello to any newbies - join us now in time for the autumnal fun. 🍂💄🌂

As always when the Advent threads are running hot this thread is a little quieter but holiday releases, sets and edits are just around the corner. I'm super excited to be going to Sephoria London in October - I still can't believe I lucked out getting a ticket.

Some exciting homegrown news -after a few technical hiccups the FB group is now searchable (but private) MN Beauty Chat Swap/Trade/Sell.* *For those interested in the group we have a few joining rules you will be asked to abide by. Thank you @MrsBnow12 @CinderellaParker for your help.

Continuing the discussion, still interested, still not bored!

Welcome to Thread 8 🥳

A huge thank you to @OvaHere, @JoRaRaRa and @Thelifeofawife, @solocat

for the previous threads, and to everyone who has been sharing spoilers, information. links, bargains, discount codes and enabling each other over the first 7 threads. ❤️

As agreed, we're taking it in turns to start each new thread this year. If this thread starts getting close to the reply limit, please post to let everyone know you're happy to start the next one so we can avoid duplicate threads.

🎅 A few festive housekeeping notes:

🎁 This thread contains spoilers.
🎄 Please be kind and respectful to one another.
💸 No judging anyone for their purchasing choices (or how many calendars they buy... we're all enablers here! 😂).
🎀 Feel free to share spoilers, offers, discount codes, GWPs, delivery updates and stock alerts.

🎁 Available Now:
Boots:
www.boots.com/christmas/advent-calendars/advent-calendar-waiting-list
Luxe £150
beauty-detective.com/boots-beauty-advent-calendar-2026/
Fragrance £90
beauty-detective.com/boots-12-days-of-scent-advent-calendar-2026/
Skin £70
beauty-detective.com/boots-24-days-of-skin-advent-calendar-2026/

Liberty – £285 (Beauty Drop members receive £25 off). Now on general sale:
www.libertylondon.com/uk/features/beauty/beauty-advent-calendar#

Unboxing
P. Louise – £250. Available to pre-order with payment instalments available:
https://plouise.co.uk/collections/wonderful-world-of-p-louise-advent-calendar/products/what-glows-around-2026-advent-calendar

John Lewis – £250. Available on pre-sale via the app for MyJL members:
https://beauty-detective.com/john-lewis-beauty-advent-calendar-2026/

Harrods Beauty Advent Calendar – £270. Now on sale online and in-store:
https://www.harrods.com/en-gb/p/harrods-of-london-the-harrods-beauty-advent-calendar-2026-000000000000284475
Harrods 12 Days of Hair & Body – £99. Now on sale online and in-store:
https://www.harrods.com/en-gb/p/harrods-of-london-the-harrods-12-days-of-hair-and-body-advent-calendar-2026-000000000000284465
Harrods Fragrance Advent Calendar – £225. Pre-sale sold out. Went on sale in-store 1/9 but appears to be completely sold out:
https://beauty-detective.com/harrods-fragrance-advent-calendar-2026/

Vogue Festive Calendar – £355. Available to pre-order:
https://shop.vogue.co.uk/products/vogue-festive-calendar-2026

Fortnum & Mason Beauty Advent Calendar - £275. Available now:
https://www.fortnumandmason.com/fortnums-beauty-advent-calendar-2026

Fenwick 25 day beauty advent calendar - £250. Withdrawn due to problems with the ingredients list. When/if it will return is unknown:
https://fenwick.co.uk/products/fenwick-fenwick-beauty-25-day-advent-calendar-2026

Anthropologie 24 Day Beauty Advent Calendar – £98. Available now:
https://www.anthropologie.com/en-gb/shop/24-days-of-beauty-advent-calendar5

The Fragrance Shop - Available for pre-order £120 members, £150 non-members.

Women's Advent Calendar:
^https://www.thefragranceshop.co.uk/the-fragrance-shop/the-fragrance-shop/gift-box-advent/p/76306

Men's Advent Calendar:
^https://www.thefragranceshop.co.uk/the-fragrance-shop/the-fragrance-shop/gift-box-advent/p/76307

Selfridges
Beauty & Fragrance £250. On sale 1/9:
https://beauty-detective.com/selfridges-beauty-advent-calendar-2026/

Fragrance - current thinking is that this will cost £225 and launch around 30/9-1/10:

https://beauty-detective.com/selfridges-fragrance-advent-calendar-2026/

Elle £197 or £187 if you joined the waitlist or with MissBoux’s code available on her unboxing video:

https://beauty-detective.com/elle-advent-calendar-2026/

LookFantastic Beauty. Available for pre-order:
https://www.lookfantastic.com/p/beauty-box/the-beauty-advent-calendar-worth-over-665/17691363/

LookFantastic Fragrance. Available for pre-order:
https://www.lookfantastic.com/p/beauty-box/the-fragrance-advent-calendar-worth-over-530/17691405/

Glossybox. £90 or £75 for subscribers. Code: KAREN5 may give £5 off the £90. Available now:
https://www.glossybox.co.uk/p/beauty-box/glossybox-2026-advent-calendar-worth-over-645/17691528/

OK Beauty Box advent/Hannah Martin. Available now £109:
https://www.okbeautybox.co.uk/products/the-ok-beauty-box-advent-calendar?srsltid=AfmBOoppTH5x1vrf3PT8oCWpKiUj111T5PdA8IBPKCjA9SYOpugUFCBJ

Cult Beauty £245 - £20 gift voucher back when buying at launch 03/09 early access.
https://www.cultbeauty.co.uk/c/advent-calendar/

Harvey Nichols: Due to the recent takeover, it’s unclear if these a/cs are still going ahead for 2026. Details TBC.

Beauty:
https://www.harveynichols.com/harvey-nichols/harvey-nichols-beauty-advent-calendar-2026-75896-258491/

Fragrance:
https://www.harveynichols.com/harvey-nichols/harvey-nichols-12-days-of-fragrance-advent-calendar-2026-75906-258490/

John Lewis Fragrance £99 - appeared briefly for sale 1/9 online but this seems to have been a glitch. The calendar is either out of stock or withdrawn. It MAY reappear 21/9, (its original release date):

https://beauty-detective.com/john-lewis-fragrance-advent-calendar-2026/

Space NK £275 - available now in-store and online:

https://www.spacenk.com/uk/gifts/beauty-advent-calendars/beauty-advent-calendar-MUK200063764.html

Oh My Cream £195 with 20% off for new customers with code: WELCOME20:

https://ohmycream.co.uk//products/advent-calendar-lrnce-oh-my-cream?

YESSTYLE: $164.99 5% off with code: PAULAYES

Early access: 29/9 3am GMT
General access: 6/10 3am GMT

https://beautycalendar.com/yesstyle-advent-calendar-2026/

Sephora UK

Sephora Favourites: £235 available for pre order:

https://www.sephora.co.uk/p/sephora-favorites-advent-calendar?

Next £150 available now:
https://beauty-detective.com/next-beauty-advent-calendar-2026

Debenhams £120
https://www.debenhams.com/pages/beauty-advent-calendar

PURESEOUL £140 (first year they are doing an advent)
beauty-detective.com/pureseoul-advent-calendar-2026/

Holland Barrett: £60 - available now:

https://www.hollandandbarrett.com/shop/product/beauty-advent-calendar-6101407249?

Diptyque: £420 - available now:

uk.diptyqueparis.com/en-uk/products/advent-calendar-25-scented-treasures-xm26advent?

Jo Malone: £375 - available now;

https://www.jomalone.co.uk/product/26322/107822/gift-sets/christmas-kist-advent-calendar?

Jo Loves Waitlist:
https://www.joloves.com/pages/a-jo-loves-advent-calendar?

💄 More Calendars & Spoilers
Rather than making the opening post a mile long, here's a brilliant roundup of lots more advent calendars and the latest spoilers, including Charlotte Tilbury, Elemis, Lancôme, Tatcha, NEOM, Neal's Yard Remedies, and many more as they're announced:
👉 ^https://beauty-detective.com/category/beauty-advent-calendars^/ 👈

We rent a pretty expensive flat in London. The yield is very low and the landlord struggles to break even. That said, the flat has appreciated over the £1m in the 25 years the landlord has owned it.

The flat is a little bit dated but the rental price is commensurate. The kitchen would have been pretty high spec when it was put in around 2012. This includes a (not built in) dishwasher, fridge, oven, washing machine etc all from Miele.

The dishwasher broke and the landlord joked to me how expensive Miele ones were. So I joked back that the Miele appliances were why we rented this place (partly true).

Landlord fits new dishwasher and it’s a £250 one from China. I was expecting a Miele one or something of similarly high quality. Would you argue about this? DP thinks I’m precious.

I’m a 28-years old, and I feel really guilty even writing this because I absolutely adore my mum. She means the world to me, and I know this probably makes me sound awful, but I’m becoming increasingly embarrassed by the way she presents herself.

My mum is 66, and I completely understand that looking glamorous or putting loads of effort into your appearance might not be a priority at her age. I’m not expecting her to dress up or look a certain way — I just wish she would make a little bit of effort to look clean and put together.

For example, she’ll go out without brushing her hair, so it can genuinely look like a bird’s nest. She rarely gets it cut, and I’ve even shown her how much neater it looks when I put it up in a simple claw clip for her, but she refuses.

Her personal hygiene also isn’t great. She rarely showers unless she’s going somewhere like a restaurant for dinner. Her dental hygiene is another concern; she’s been a heavy smoker since her twenties and unfortunately has very few teeth left now.

She’ll also wear the same clothes day after day, and regardless of the weather, she seems determined to wear the same pair of Skechers sandals. What makes it more frustrating is that she isn’t struggling financially. She has money, but would rather spend it on scratch cards or random things for her flat than on clothes, hair appointments, etc.

The difficult part is that I genuinely don’t know how to approach the subject. I know she would take it extremely personally if I told her that I was embarrassed by the way she looks or that I thought she needed to take better care of herself. I would never want to hurt her feelings or make her feel like I don’t accept her as she is.

I think part of why I find it particularly difficult is because I’m the complete opposite. I take a lot of pride in my appearance and genuinely enjoy looking after myself, and my sisters are the same. We all make an effort with our hair, clothes, hygiene, etc., so I suppose the contrast feels even more noticeable to me.

I’m also getting to the point where I feel embarrassed about my boyfriend meeting her, and I feel absolutely horrible admitting that. It’s not because I’m ashamed of her as a person — I love her more than anything. I just find it difficult seeing someone I love seemingly not care about themselves at all, she will complain that she looks a ‘mess’ but never does anything to improve it.

I know this probably sounds horrible, and I’m not trying to judge her or say that she needs to look a certain way. I think I just needed somewhere to have a rant and get it off my chest, because I genuinely don’t know what the right thing to do is. Sorry this is a long one😢

Work colleague and friend is having a much wanted first child, of course she’s got comments she’s too old I genuinely don’t feel she is just wondering what others thought

I’ve been with my partner a year and a half, and we are currently doing couples therapy. I gave him this as an ultimatum for our relationship to be saved and saw it being the only way forward. We’ve been doing therapy for about 2 months now and I can honestly say that things have improved and he’s not stepped a foot wrong since.
The problem is, I’m still feeling unsure. I have flashbacks and feel sick and I’m struggling to concentrate at work. I don’t know if I can forgive but I don’t want to leave with regret in the chance it might have worked and he might have changed. Some of the behaviour I have had was;

• feeling suffocated in our relationship, he wanted to spend all his time with me.
• having issues with talking to my sons dad, he said the only issue was because he believed my sons dad had abused me.
• threatening to leave when I wanted to meet up with my ex’s friends (we had mutual friends)
• planning my time around him, adding dates in my diary on when he wanted me at his etc.
• commenting on clothes I was wearing for bed.
• giving me time allocations on when I could pet my cat as he was allergic.
• calling me in the morning if I hadn’t messaged to ask if I was ok as I’d not messaged him yet and questioning how much time I had spare to message him.
• not respecting my need for space when asked.

I haven’t really got on with my parents for years. We’re not NC or anything dramatic, we’ve just gradually drifted because I don’t particularly like them and, on the fairly rare occasions I have actually needed help, they’ve let me down.
For context, they do help my siblings regularly. I’m not talking about expecting them to be constantly available to me, I mean the odd occasion where I genuinely needed help. For example, once I had an emergency boiler repair while I was stuck about 300 miles away with work, and they wouldn’t help. Before anyone says I shouldn’t be asking for help from someone I don’t really like, the blatent favouritism towards my siblings was what drove the wedge, I wasn’t asking for favours from people I didn’t like I was asking for help from my parents and getting ground down seeing how much they didn’t for others and wouldn’t for me.

I’ve now had a baby, and it’s just me. I was actually getting on fine. Since the baby arrived, my parents have started coming round much more. They seemed increasingly frustrated that I was happy for them to visit but wasn’t asking them to do things for me.
The problem is that there hasn’t really been anything they could do that would actually make my life easier. When they asked what they could do, I did eventually make a couple of suggestions, and they said no because they didn’t think those were the sorts of things they should be helping with. So I stopped asking. I asked if they could look after my dog whilst I took baby into work for a KIT day, they said no-which is fine, I got a dog walker to come in, but if I ask for help and am turned down I then won’t keep putting myself in a place I am rejected.
My view is that help is only really help if it removes a burden from the person you’re helping. Otherwise it’s involvement, rather than help. So I don’t need the baby’s laundry being done- it’s a pain to separate it out from mine and wait two days to have it back, I don’t need the hoover putting round, I feel uncomfortable with them making beds.
Now they’ve started talking about having the baby for sleepovers and taking them out for days, and I keep batting it away. They keep saying I need a break and that they could give me one.
But I don’t actually want a break in that way. I don’t want them babysitting. I would genuinely rather pay someone I trust to look after the baby if I wanted childcare.
They’ve probably spent about an hour a week with the baby so far, and they’re in their 70s. There are also practical things I’m not convinced they could comfortably manage, although obviously as the baby gets older that may change. My siblings have also had issues with my parents not following instructions when looking after their children.
But if I’m being completely honest, that isn’t even the main reason. I don’t particularly like my parents as people, and I don’t trust them enough to want them having the baby without me.
What is bothering me is that my mum is framing this as though she is offering me something I need, ‘you need a break, let us have the baby’, when what I actually hear is that she wants time alone with her grandchild but rather than saying that she is presenting it as a massive favour.
I’m not against them having a relationship with the baby. I’m happy for them to visit and spend time with the baby when I’m there. I just don’t want to hand over childcare that I don’t want or need in order to facilitate that relationship, and I really hate it being presented as help when it won’t help me and they haven’t helped me in 15 years

I wonder if others have a view on this:

I should start by saying I am no supporter of the Reform Party… not by any measure… but it sometimes we all have a right and indeed a duty to speak up when we see injustice. Even when done to those we might dislike. An old-fashioned notion I know, but a valuable one none the less.

So… The Labour party (temporality constituting the government) , who have received tens of millions of pounds from union member subscriptions over the years… so effectively from one body… have decided that whilst the massive donations to Reform are currently legal, they, the labour government with the approval of all the other parties, will make the receipt of such currently legal gifts, retrospectively illegal.

Mmmm…

Last month I saw that same government protest that the convicted ringleader of the Rochdale grooming gang, cannot be sent back to Pakistan when he is released from prison… because any law made to do this could not be retrospective…. It just would not be British.

OK I have my disagreements and issues with Reform… but does a legitimate UK political party really deserve to be treated worse than a convicted gang leader of groomers?

Anyone else see that as a bit odd, a bit contradictory, a bit self-serving… unconstitutional and illogical? Come on, don’t be shy… it’s just an opinion.

Funny thing is that whilst the cash would undoubtably have helped reform in its bit to run the UK there is one thing that would be more effective in swelling its ranks…. That is a blatantly unfair and self-serving retrospective law hamstringing their attempts to grow.

For anyone who doubts the unintended effects of grossly and manifestly unfair treatment of a one group over another (regardless of its actual merit)… study internment in N Ireland. The single most effective recruited campaign for any organisation… ever. But then not one had at the time tried to bribe the voting public with £5000 dollars each… 😊

People do not like unfairness. I would go so far as to say that Labour are walking into a trap… So predictable was this reaction. Think about it… maybe these guys never thought their £36m was at risk… or am I now getting a little conspiracy theorist?

What are the strategists thinking? Apart from being unfair, non-democratic and blatantly self-serving… There could be no better way to swell the ranks of Reform. The very thing they want to avoid.

So conflicted about my current situation and would appreciate some advice.

Im in my early 50s and have been living in my partner's house for the last 4.5 years after selling my property to release funds and move in with him. It happened quickly, I moved in after a few months of dating him.

I've paid 50% of everything since I moved in. He is mortgage free, so 50% of all bills, food, insurance etc.

We're coming up to 5 years of being in a very committed relationship and I'm starting to feel very anxious about my situation.

I'm divorced and suffered from financial and emotional abuse in my first marriage. I promised myself I'd never leave myself vulnerable again after my first marriage broke down, it took everything I had to get over the abuse and cheating.

I find myself with a lovely man now. Kind, caring, lovely to me.

But I'm uncomfortable with the fact that I am not building up anything for myself or my future.

What if he dumps me, or dies! He will not talk about marriage, if I even mention a civil ceremony he clams up. He has no will and doesn't seem to want to make one.

How do I protect myself in this situation? Just carry on living here and paying half of everything?

Why is it that I feel the need for marriage to feel secure.

He's such an avoidant personality... I can't even talk to him about doing up the mouldy en suite we've been living with for over 4 years... it's disgusting but he says he's not bothered by it.. I've offered to pay half to rectify it but he shouted at me and said he's happy to live with it as is.

Am I being stupid to just carry on coasting along ..... I need something solid. I lost everything when my first husband left me, am I leaving myself vulnerable again?

Hi 👋
Wondering what’s going to replace this viral bag? (Handbag style: not rucksack)
I have a couple; they are bloody brilliant but are they becoming dated?
I love that I can stick them in the wash and the cross body means I don’t have to make an effort to keep it on my shoulder like I do with a tote or a shoulder bag.
So those who are ‘on trend’ …. What’s next after the Uniqlo one ? I suppose my style is quite Arket/ Uniqlo and I would consider leather but I don’t like anything twee or blingy…… and I hate those camera bags that say RIVER ISLAND or MICHAEL KORS down the strap.