Hi, I would like to ask if anyone here has a DC in Westminster under school reception class and how you are finding it? Would be especially interested to hear from any girl parents as we are considering this school. Thank you

Family court matters- has anyone had to instruct a psychologist for a case. Did anyone use one called Denise McCartan.

Has anyone within family court had to instruct a child psychologist. Or been involved with one called Denise McCartan.

Hi everyone, I had a VB birth last October via forceps, 2nd degree tear and episiotomy. Felt heaviness at time and was checked and told potential rectocele but most likely just posterior wall laxity. Have just been checked again and cleared for prolapse and nil posterior wall laxity. I still feel there is pressure in my perineum. Wondering if this will ever go away… any insight would be greatly appreciated? Really spiralled thinking I potentially had a prolapse so I’m relieved that I don’t but would still like to know if this feeling goes away and would more VBs affect it! Any information would be so helpful thank you in advance.

Please help me! My son is getting married in 8 weeks and I haven’t a clue what to wear. So far I’ve ordered three dresses online (Coast, Lavish Alice and Florere) and have sent them all back. Earlier this week I had a personal stylist appointment at John Lewis, bought 3 items (Hobbs dress, Reiss dress and Phase Eight jumpsuit), but not sure any of them are right. Also ordered a jumpsuit from Me+Em, not yet received. I don’t know if that will be right either, I know it will need shortening about 6 inches!
I’m 5’3, 9st 6, have lost 7 stone over last 3 years. Blue eyes, brown hair/blond highlights. i think the colours that suit me best are greens/golds/sandy but not at all rigid except that pastel colours make me look washed out.
There’s a register office wedding service and then the bigger wedding ‘do’ 3 days later, so I need two outfits! Budget about £400ish for both. I just feel so much of what I’m seeing is so ‘bland’ and ordinary, I want to feel a bit more cool and funky but still smart of course.
Would really appreciate some help or suggestions of makers/brands I’m not aware of… thanks in advance.

I have naturally frizzy hair... neither straight nor curly, but poofy, and at the slightest hint of rain or damp I turn into Hagrid. I straighten it mostly.
I don't spend much on myself but decided to treat myself to Keratin treatment.

It works. It actually bloody works! Had it done last week, my hair felt great and smooth if a little flat (they did the treatment then straightened it for me)
Walked the dog in the damp... no frizz. Got rained on today... no frizz... and post washing didn't need the GHDs, just a blast with the hairdryer and it's soft and smooth.
Just in case anyone is considering it... I think it's actually worth it!

From 1st September I have been on 1500 calories daily and mostly getting 130ish grams of protein.
Ive been back in the gym 4 times a week strength training and hitting 10k steps daily on average.
usually this is what I do when I’ve gained some weight and it falls off.
why oh why am I 2lbs UP from the beginning of September? I have never been the weight I am now. I’m really confused.
in the gym I’m getting noticeably stronger and I feel ‘tighter’ and not as conscious of my belly. I’m in the same size clothes I was in 8lb ago.
I have tracked via myfitness pal and logged weight daily and weekly averages are going up not down! What can I do now? I really don’t want to reduce my calories even lower as I cannot function on 1400 and find my overall energy and gym performance suffers.

I just ran across this, and although the statistics are for America, I suspect that it's more broadly applicable.

A 2022 study conducted by the National Endowment for the Arts indicated a large gender gap when it comes to reading fiction, finding that 46.9 percent of women read fiction, compared to 27.7 percent of men.
https://www.nytimes.com/2026/04/20/books/could-a-river-runs-through-it-have-been-a-hit-today.html

Three questions occur to me:

1.Do men avoid novels because they feel reading should be utilitarian?

2.Do men avoid novels because they have no interest in solitary exclusively mental amusement, and prefer their amusements to involve physicality, like sports?

3.Do men avoid novels because they have little capacity for, or interest in, other people and their concerns, as in novel characterizations? And does this connect in some way to men's willingness to be violent or go to war, that they may have difficult in seeing others are comparably fully human?

I hope some of you enjoy batting this around!

DS is 12 and in year 7. He has always been a very confident child, quite loud and chatty, funny, very expressive and he has never really cared what other people think of him. He is quite camp/feminine in the way he talks and moves and has always been like that. He loves singing, pop music, drama and musical theatre, does his skincare, likes doing his hair etc. He is very determined and can be quite stubborn.

He was at a really small village primary, there were only about 18 children in his year and most of them had been together since reception. He had a good group of friends there and was generally very happy. He did get the odd comment about being “girly” but it was never anything like this and he was comfortable being himself.

When he started secondary he was actually really excited. He was adamant he didn’t want one of the Nike bags or a plain black backpack like loads of the boys have. He chose this: https://uk.justhype.com/products/hype-unisex-multi-pastel-prints-badge-backpack

At first it was mainly boys in his year making comments about the bag but it has spread beyond that now. There are older boys who have started joining in as well, including some year 8 and 9 boys apparently. DS says they see him around school and make comments about the bag, call it a girls bag, ask if it belongs to his sister, call him gay etc. Some of them don’t even know him. They’ve just picked up on what the other boys are doing.

And it isn’t really just the bag anymore. They make comments about the way he talks and copy his voice, take the piss out of the way he walks and moves his hands, call him names because he is feminine and make comments about the things he likes. He says they will see him and start doing the voice or saying things like “here he comes” and laughing. One of them apparently took a photo of him with the bag and sent it round a group chat. I haven’t seen the photo or the group chat myself so I can only go on what DS has told me but DS isn’t in it

He has also told me they make comments when they are getting changed for PE, including things about him being gay and comments about his body and appearance. He doesn’t want to repeat everything they’ve said and I don’t want to keep pushing him for details, but it is clearly more than boys just saying they don’t like his bag. They seem to have decided he is an easy target because he is different to them.

The school have been pretty useless tbh. I’ve spoken to his form tutor and head of year more than once and every time it comes back to “we have no evidence” and that they can’t take action based on what DS says happened. They say they will keep an eye on things but DS says the same boys are still doing it. I understand they can’t punish a child for something they haven’t witnessed but surely they can actually do something when a child is repeatedly naming the same boys and describing the same behaviour? Especially when it isn’t one incident and now seems to involve older pupils too.

On Friday one of them shoved him into a locker after another comment about his bag. He wasn’t hurt but came home absolutely raging and said he can deal with them himself. He is still very confident and keeps telling me he isn’t scared of them, which is him, but I’ve noticed other things. He now wants a plain black school bag even though he was so adamant he didn’t want one before. He has also decided he wants his hair cut. He showed me a picture on his phone and it is basically the haircut most of the boys at his school have. He normally loves doing his hair and has never cared about having the same haircut as everyone else, so this has really bothered me.

I think he is starting to work out that if he looks and acts more like the other boys they might leave him alone. That makes me really sad because there was absolutely nothing wrong with him before.

His dad thinks he needs to stand up for himself and has even suggested boxing. I don’t agree with that. I don’t want DS hitting someone and then being the one who gets punished or excluded, especially when the school already seems to be doing very little.

I don’t know whether to just keep pushing the school or go above head of year and make a formal complaint. And do I let him get the black bag and have the haircut if that’s what he wants? I don’t want to make a huge thing of the bag and tell him he has to keep it, because ultimately it’s just a bag, but I also don’t want him thinking he has to change himself to stop other people picking on him.

DH has been away for work on and off for the last few weeks, really long hours + jet lag.

He came home for one night on Tuesday night (we live near a major airport) which was essentially a layover almost at our house before driving the next morning 5 hours, again for work where he is the for the next 10 days.

He was obviously incredibly tired and was being unreasonable and out of character yesterday morning before he left which resulted in an argument. He then left without saying goodbye and I haven’t heard from him since, he’s never ignored me before but he went the entire day ignoring any calls or messages. I left it from mid afternoon but now still haven’t heard from him, the only reason I know he’s got there safely is because I have him on find friends.

I can also see he is still at the hotel … it’s 1pm and he should be working today as far as I know. I’m now getting really worried. Is there anything I can do apart from wait? Am I being overly anxious?

How does Christmas day go? What actually happens at your homes apart from the eating of lunch (which I do).

My family aren't very ceremonious/traditional and we have made a lot of our own traditions over the years but Christmas is just the lunch. We have been a bunch of adults for a long time, no kids until now.

There are young children involved now so I'd be keen on some ideas.
I'm also just really curious in general as Christmas is so magical for so many.

Thank you

I’ve name changed as I’m guessing this won’t have happened to too many other people this week.

We have been away on holiday and my mum asked if she could stay at our house for a few days when we were away. We live in the countryside and my mum lives in a city so she enjoys being here for a change of pace. I asked what she planned to do and she said not much, just relax, read, go on walks and just have time to herself. I said she was welcome to stay, made up a spare room for her, made her some meals for the freezer and got other food in for her.

We have got back earlier today and our house is not how my mum would normally leave it, just little things like cushions on the sofas were left untidy, the bin and dishwasher were not emptied. We don’t mind, it’s little things, but my husband said that it’s not like my mum and asked if I thought she was ok. I sent my mum a text to say we were home but I didn’t hear back which is unlike her.

We have cameras that record outside and in the hallway so I checked them to see when she left thinking maybe she had stayed longer and was still travelling home. The cameras showed my mum arriving with my step sister, her partner and 1 other person who we don’t know. I can see them all coming and going over 5 days. My mum leaves about 3 hours before the rest of them on the last day they’re here.

I do not get on with my step sister and haven’t spoken to her for years after a big fall out. My mum knows she will never be welcome in our home. I feel so angry and betrayed that my mum has lied to me and let them use our home.

Since checking the cameras, I’ve had a good look in each room. They’ve obviously used other rooms to sleep in and some of our toiletries have been used. I presume they’ve all had a good look around.

My mum still hasn’t answered my text, I’ve also called her and she isn’t answering. We are really angry that my mum has let other people stay here when we only agreed she could. Obviously I will speak to mum but how would you feel and react to this? My husband says we will need to change the locks and we’ll never trust them again, which at the moment I agree with. It’s my mum and I’m trying to think of good reasons she would have allowed this and think it’s okay but she knows I hate my SS so there really isn’t any good reason.

Anyone ideas for a non chocolate advent calender for a 3 year old girl please ?

Having a slight disagreement with DH over this, we are looking at houses and aren’t yet on the same page re. Outgoings.

Situation:
-2 DC and won’t have any more, total nursery costs £200 a month.
-1 car we own, petrol costs c. £150 a month
-Our personal bills e.g hair appointments, phone contracts, spotify etc amount to £100.
-Budget c.£600 for food per month.
-Pensions are funded from salary deductions/employer contributions so don’t need considering for this exercise. We are both 40.

Joint income of £4400 (salary only, not including the £200 a month child benefit we recieve) the above amounts to £1050 leaving £3,350

My question to you all is what of the remaining £3,350 would you be comfortable spending on your Mortgage/Bills, knowing that some also needs to be earmarked for fun/social and savings/investments?

Posted this in the Diabetes section but no responses since Thursday night.... trying again...

My husband has been prediabetic for 17 months or so. His Hba1c fluctuates between 45 and 47, the last test was done in March and was 46. He has really bad habits, won't attend the nutrition clinic, I do cook healthy evening meals for us, but he is a total sugar addict and if I "police" him, he just gets snarky.

He takes 3 heaped sugars in his tea and coffee and is trying to cut down, if there is a pack of biscuits or cupcakes around, he feels compelled to eat them all. He hasn't really had any obvious symptoms, bar urinating through the night a bit too frequently, but I have been putting that down to too much tea late at night.

I am supportive and try to help him make changes, sometimes I try to scare him about what could happen if he doesn't make changes now, but he just says he's fine and if there was an issue, the GP would contact him.

I've always liked my husbands smell, under his arms, his skin generally. But the past few months, he really smells bad. Like a sweet but acrid smell when he sweats. I have read that this can be a sign of prediabetes getting worse, or actually ketones? His urine smells normal.... I'm trying to get him to the GP to report it and have further tests, but he's being incredibly stubborn and saying I'm imagining it.

Help!

Rarely get the chance to go away due to work commitments but may be able to get away for 7 to 10 days, with Dh, in November. Can’t book yet so it’s going to be really short notice. Either somewhere hot or a shorter break not so hot. Either way good food and not a massive resort. Not Egypt, Dubai or Cape Verde. Flexible budget . Any ideas?

Just would like to hear other people's experiences on working alongside colleagues who work with family members.
I have worked with sisters who made it work. Couples however seem to be a nightmare especially when one of them is in a management role.
I don't think it works personally I think it's healthy to have a life away from your family.

Trying to keep it brief but apologise it it’s long -

MIL was looking after my 2 kids until I got home from work, approx 1-1.5 hours.
When I got in she told me the baby gate on the stair landing wasn’t working. I tried it & it was. She said my 14 month old pushed it and nearly fell. Separately to that, she said he hit his head with a toy & had a bruise.

Upon seeing me. He was crying hysterically. My first thought was whether he had lunch, was hungry or tired. His eyes were all red. I showered quickly, but had to jump out soaking wet and cuddle him up due to him crying so much

MIL left, I tried to phone DP to find out about lunch and naps etc. My eldest then tells me ‘baby brother fell downstairs top - bottom and bumped his head’. I questioned her as it was different to what MIL said, she said insisted he did fall.

After a phone call again, MIL states she told me what happened. Insists it was a toy. Then approx 35 mins since I got home, she calls me to say he did fall top - bottom. But states she didn’t see it, she couldn’t find him and ended up he was at bottom of stairs.

Straight away, I was very confused? How could you not know, why was he walking on the landing himsel, god I need to take him to a&e.

Anyway, we are home after a lengthy wait. He was his usual self in a&e.

I just don’t know what the next steps are re MIL. I know she feels horrendous. But I can’t get over how many times she lied before telling the truth… I will add she met me at a&e and waited with me the full time, I couldn’t really bring myself to fully speak to her at the time.

I thought I was doing really well with c.£180,000 in my pension at 35 and combined employer/own contributions of c.£1000 a month.

I had a forecast statement through in the post today and it suggests based on the likeliest scenario that I’ll have a pot worth c.£600,000 when I’m 65.

I thought it would have been higher and makes me wonder what sort of retirement I’ll have😪

My mum is 70 in December. I have 2 younger half sisters who are my mums daughters, not with my father. We get on ok but aren’t that close.

A few weeks ago we were all talking about ideas for mums birthday gifts and they asked what I was getting. I said I’d already bought an item of jewellery which they asked to see so I showed it to them online. It’s quite expensive and something my mum always says she likes but would never treat herself to. They said it’s expensive and I said she’s only 70 once and that my kids would be contributing a little towards it. They showed me some things they were thinking of getting mum which I agreed she would really like.

Today, one of my half sisters have asked my son how much he is contributing to the gift. He told them he wasn’t sure exactly but around £200. He said they asked in a casual way so thought nothing of answering. My half sisters have now said they would also like to give me £200 each so that the gift can be from them as well. I’ve said no, I’d rather get it from just me, my husband and our children and they should get something else like they planned. It’s quite expensive and something my mum first seen when she was with me and although I’m happy for my children to contribute a small amount of the total due to them being my children, I’m not happy for my half sisters to only contribute a small amount to an expensive gift and then say it’s from us all. They think I’m being unfair.

My mum is the type of person who will love anything any of us buy her. I’ve bought her things for a few pounds in the past that she treasures so she would not let this gift overshadow anything at all that her other children get her.

What do you think? AIBU?

Evening all

My daughter is in reception and a mum has let us know on our WhatsApp group their daughter has headlice. My daughter hasn’t got it yet from what I can tell but trying to prepare for the inevitable.

Which is the best bit comb? Or are they much of a muchness? I’m planning to do the conditioner method as my daughter has incredibly sensitive skin and reacts to a lot of products. (Although if I catch it too I may well be trying a treatment so any recommendations for them are also welcome). So yeah, trying to find out which comb people recommend.

She’s my only child so this is uncharted territory for me and I’m dreading it so any tips more than welcome!

I need advice about my pregnancy acne. I am 17 weeks pregnant and I have had flare ups for the last couple of days now. I have a shark led mask, it says advised not to use but that’s the only thing that helps me with my acne before pregnancy. What does everyone use?

I am so frustrated and feel so powerless to do anything about the shocking service I received from Sainsbury's so just want to spread the word and tell you all to avoid Sainsbury's grocery delivery if you have any alternative options!

We have a family party today and I booked a £150 grocery delivery to arrive last night between 10-11pm with all the fresh food and drinks for the weekend. 11pm came and went with no communication and their help lines were closed. I waited up until midnight but no delivery.

This morning I rang at 8am as soon as their lines were open - their automated response line asked for my order number which they then told me had been delivered and I had to route through several options to actually speak to someone. Finally getting through to someone and they offer no explanation or apology for the totally missed order and said they'd refund £146 to my card in 5 working days! The delivery fee would have to be a gift voucher! So not even a full refund! I have pushed back on this but now have to wait 72 hours for another team to call me to process the £4 delivery fee. They have offered me a £5 voucher good will voucher for the poor service.

I know that issues happen - drivers get sick, they may run out of time etc but the total lack of communication and understanding from the store / company makes me so frustrated. Anyway I went out this morning at 7am to go and buy everything else and will just have to put it behind me. Who else should I use going forward because I'll never book with Sainsbury's again!

When I was a kid in the 80s, pillocks were everywhere. Even I was sometimes a pillock. Nowadays you never hear about pillocks. It’s gone the way of wazzock and bounder.

AIBU to rail against the death of pillock?

Just that really. I can’t believe this is happening. I feel like I’m in a nightmare. We have a 3 year old DD. The OW sent me a message from a private instagram account because H had blocked her actual accounts on my phone without my knowledge. He works with her.

He’d gone to her birthday party which I knew about. Didn’t come home until after 4am which isn’t normal for him so I wasn’t happy and we had plans the next day. He said they’d all gone somewhere after the party. Turns out he was with her in a hotel down the road. This was weeks ago and he hadn’t told me.

When I confronted him he eventually admitted it. Said that he couldn’t explain it at first. Then said that there was distance between us and he was weak and naive. We were arguing a lot. He’s been struggling with his mental health and I’ve been doing my best to support him whilst working full-time in a stressful job. I thought we were just going through a rough patch.

I’m literally shaking. I don’t have a lot of family and I haven’t told anyone IRL yet. He says it doesn’t have to be over. But it does doesn’t it?