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<whispers> I'm starting to think about starting the wrapping soon :)

I absolutely love my nephews to pieces but when I give them back I always really appreciate that I can just go to a shop without having to load them in and out of a car, and that I can make spontaneous plans.

Please can someone advise? My hair has become steadily more tangled and matted to the extent that after I washed it tonight, I can't get my fingers through it at all. I'm just pulling loads out trying to brush it and now I'm panicking a bit.

I suspected it might be a hard water build up so bought some clarifying shampoo and did a cider vinegar rinse, then used my usual redken shampoo and conditioner. I also bought a filter head for the shower. If anything, it's even worse and even more matted.

The water company where I live has recently advised that the water will be even harder due to the minerals at source. My hair is fine, highlighted and dry anyway and has become wavy and frizzy as I've got older, although it appears straight when dry. It won't hold waves or curls, its too fine and flyaway.

Please, has anyone had this and found a solution? I've got some much broken hair from trying to brush it out and the texture is horrible. My hairdresser is no help, unfortunately.

The advice I have read a lot is to spend money on the base. At the moment I am wearing Aldi tinted moisturiser for my base that cost less than £5 if I remember right.

DD’s hair is waist length and super thick, she struggles with mats and knots every time she washes it. She uses conditioner and says she tries to brush it through her hair before rinsing (won’t let me help). I think a wide toothed comb is better . Does anyone have a recommendation for something that’s worked for them please?

I have spent a small fortune on Ancient & Brave marine collage, over 6 months - no difference.

Magnesium from Modern Chemistry from Boots - really helped to keep calm in a very stressful period.

HRT - miracle worker with sleep and mood.

Kalms One a Nightmare only used one pack again when going through few months, worked well to help with going to sleep but felt groggy in the morning.

Taking Vitamin D now, but not sure if it does anything.

I feel like I need a general glow up but my diet is so good, ChatGPT talks me out of wasting my money 💁🏻‍♀️

Completely out of the blue, I just had a whole picture of myself living a completely different life. I was in America, somewhere with lots of horses and pines and the matriarch of a large family with a well-respected, pillar of the community husband and a brood of beautiful, healthy children. Not a clue where this came from and a million miles away from my actual life and what I've ever wanted.

It got me wondering, what other lives might I have lived? Have you ever daydreamed about living a completely different life and what was it?

Boden Pussy Bow dresss I really love this and I have a £25 voucher which would take the price down to £64 buy I gave nothing big upcoming that would justify the purchase. On the other hand having lost 5 stone recently and sold most of my wardrobe on Vinted I don't have a lot of smart options left as I've focused on replacing my everyday clothes. So would it be versatile enough to style for daytime use and if so how. I am 5 ft 5 size 12 and can't do heels.

A crowd has turned out to see them. It’s currently being covered live on Sky News. Why on earth would anyone do this?

They aren’t working royals. They are just a pair of chancers who have scuttled back to Britain with their tails between their legs because they have died on their arses in the US. And now people are tugging their forelocks to them here.

People really are absolute fucking morons.

I took my little one to the park yesterday afternoon and there was a mum and daughter sitting on a blanket with a picnic and a bottle of wine with 2 plastic glasses while the little ones were playing.
They were sitting chatting and watching the kids who were around primarily school age playing together.

I didn’t think a lot at the time but maybe thought it was a bit funny, would you think it was ok to crack open a bottle of wine in the play park?

This is a bit of an odd one and I’m not sure why it bothers me, but it does. I am unsure how to approach it.

dd2 (we have 3dds) is part of a friend group that she was the last to join. All lovely except one, Ella, who seems threatened by dd and puts her down when others don’t hear. Dd ignores this as she doesn’t want to lose the rest of the group and this girl isn’t always there anyway so it’s fine. The issue I have is that dd has a perception that Ella’s family is loaded.

I’d say they’re comfortable and similar to us but dd seems to think we’re really poor by comparison. I think it’s how her parents speak and she repeats. Example being, dd might say “oh my dad works for the council” but Ella will say “my mum is very important at the council” - dh is significantly senior to her in the same organisation but it doesn’t feel right to correct it or we could sound petty.

Ella went on about their holiday to Greece, like us, but she would have had a different experience as they were in a 5 hotel. Dd had no clue what hotel we went to (it was 5*) so thinks “wow, Ella’s family is rich”.

They have brand new cars - Tesla as Range Rover. They’re both leased. We buy 3 year old cars cash and take care of them. We have fairly new VW and Fiat 500. We like our cars and morally wouldn’t buy a Tesla.

I think dh expressed it best when he said, we’re really not people who compare or do the whole keeping up with the jones’ but DD’s comments are annoying because she seems to be totally blind to the life she’s had. She’s been to 11 states in the USA, Canada twice, many European holidays, amazing hotels, theatre trips, concerts and festivals, we live in a 4 bed home with a lovely garden, yet you’d think she grew up in poverty.

I think I have to let things ride out and she’ll figure it out herself because I can’t think how to explain without sounding petty.

I've been picking up Xmas food here and there when at the shops and was looking at Aldi's crisp offerings which were a bit uninspiring - turkey and thyme, pigs in blankets. Anyone seen any good ones out there they can recommend? Thanks!

I'd love to diversify my cool weather wardrobe a little. I'm looking for dresses that hit mid calf or a bit lower but are not full length (this is non-negotiable); I'm a little busty so variations on v necks or bodices with buttons you can unbutton are best. Long sleeves or 3/4 length sleeves; these would be day dresses. Very very strongly prefer a gentle A line that isn't interrupted by a waist seam. Size 14, but tallish with the weight spread reasonably evenly. Autumn/winter weight, please. (I fantasize about the perfect needlecord dress.) Can't wear yellow/orange/brown/lime green/olive drab colours. Strong blues, teal, dark green, dark red, dark purple, and even black especially welcome!
And I'd love to pay less than £150 (per dress, that is!). (Not asking a lot, am I? 🙂) Suggestions?

Previous thread: https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/telly_addicts/5587046-welcome-to-the-castle-we-take-it-day-by-day-2026-celebrity-traitors-thread-3-tv-pace?page=1

This is a tv pace thread so make sure you’re up to date with the live broadcast and yes, previous series (regular and celeb) will be discussed!

Please no spoilers if you read them online!

The story so far (as at end of episode 4)

Traitors (still active)
Maya Jama
James Acaster (recruited)
Professor Hannah Fry (recruited)

Faithful

James Blunt
Jerry Hall
Joanne McNally
Joe Lycett
King Kenny
Michael Sheen
Miranda Hart
Sebastian Croft
Sharon Rooney

Up for Murder
Leigh-Anne Pinnock
Rob Beckett
Romesh Ranganathan
RossKemp (full name)

Murdered
Amol Rajan
Bella Ramsey

Banished
Richard E Grant (Traitor)
Myha’la
Julie Hesmondhalgh

Was chatting about this with a friend recently and wondering what others’ experience was like?

My upbringing (1980s) could be best described as ‘filled with love and food’. Dad was originally a miner who later retrained and became a vicar, mum was a stay at home parent. Grandparents and extended family on both sides were poor farmers or miners.

We had very little money growing up, clothes from charity shops, lots of scrimping and saving and parents never owned a home. I was fortunate to have a really good, happy childhood, though to this day I dislike waste and struggle to buy anything unless it’s a bargain of some kind. I was the first in my family to go to uni and I now have a good career with good salary and own home. I even have investments (shock, horror!!).

Curious as to how upbringing affected your future life? There’s no right answers by the way.

I’ve known my friend for over 30 years, we both have children of similar ages (one secondary, one primary and then she has one younger as well). We’ve always been really close and take the kids out together at least once a month as well as meeting just us two. One thing I’ve noticed recently is that our parenting styles are different and it’s causing me to resent her. I am hyper organised with my children. If we are out then I have snacks, spare clothes, baby wipes, wellies in the car etc. she’s much more of a laid back go with the flow kind of parent. The issue is, her kids need these things, so she’s increasingly just young my stuff!
We went to the beach, she didn’t bring anything for her kids to play with, so they took my kids toys. Not an issue, mine are good at sharing, but one of my son’s favourite spades (don’t ask, he’s autistic and gets attached!) got broken. We went to the arcade and she had no change so I had to give them some of our change. We went to the cinema, she didn’t bring or buy snacks, so her kids share mine. I’ve started taking extras to cover what she doesn’t so my kids don’t miss out. To be clear, she’s not struggling, she has a nice house, nice car and does several foreign holidays a year. Even when I remind her, she accidentally forgets or runs out of time.

And the next issue- bonfire night is coming up. We always walk to the local display together. I’ve been to the shop today and bought sparklers. I bought three packs, partner asked why so many and I realised that she never remembers to bring her own. I texted her and told her where they’re on sale and she made a joke about how she always forgets to buy them. It can’t be an accident, she just doesn’t bother, so I have to buy extras as her kids just expect me to provide them. She never does. It’s really upset me. She’s much better off than I am, has more children and I’m basically supplementing her income by buying for her kids as well as mine.

So, if you’ve got this far, would I be unreasonable to take a step back from the friendship if she doesn’t bring sparklers this year? I can’t say no to her kids, that’s punishing them for her mistakes and that feels cruel. But it’s something that’s really upsetting me now I’ve realised it’s happening.

My partner died 9 years ago, and I only felt ready to date the past 15 months. I had to focus on my children, but now they’re 17 and 23. I met someone straight away, and that lasted 5 months, but fizzled out, then I met another man who I was with until 2 weeks sgo. He is extremely wealthy but wasn’t the best at treating me well-there was gaslighting and lying but we were very physically compatible. I didn’t feel “in love” with either of these men but enjoyed spending time with them. Now I’ve met another man and we’ve been on 7 dates but haven’t slept together-yet. He says he’s “falling for me”, and I feel the same. I haven’t felt like this since my partner died. However-he is financially insecure. I own my own home and have a pension and savings -I didn’t inherit anything as my late partner had no life insurance. I’ve worked for it myself in a stressful career. We are both in our 50s. I can’t decide whether he is drawn to me as a solution for his financial problems or likes me for myself. I can’t decide whether it’s better to stop it now before it gets more intense. Can a relationship work with a financial imbalance?

DS16 has a gf 18 who he's been seeing for 18m or so. He is pretty mature for his age - youngest of 4 - and she isn't, and they look similar, so it doesn’t seem like a maturity or power imbalance.

He is only just 16. His siblings all had the rule of no staying overnight with someone until they were 18.

They both went to Reading festival in the summer, each camping with their friends, and I had the conversation with him before he went about mates before dates etc as I didn't want him spending the weekend with his gf instead of friends when he had arranged to go with them. Recently I was told via his friend's mum that he'd stayed in his gf tent.

Gf lives some distance away so we do say she can stay over any time. The other night she was sleeping downstairs and DS in his room upstairs; I woke up at 6am hearing someone opening/closing a door and on stairs.

I spoke to DS today. I said he is not permitted to sleep overnight with his GF until he is 18 (this was the rule we had for our other DCs) and I asked him about Reading and the other night at home. He said he'd stayed in GF tent one night at the festival and that the other night at home he fell asleep with her downstairs.

I've said he's broken our trust and she can't stay over and he can't have so much freedom now, because he's broken the rules and lied by omission.

Have I been totally naive here to trust him? Is it fair to apply our family rule of age 18 before sharing a bed with someone overnight ? AIBU to give DS less freedom now?

Its my kids birthday coming up and my husbands family are busy with pre arranged stuff. His brother and sisters haven't reached out to ask when they can come see the kids. Is it up to me to arrange, should I bother reaching out at all? Surely it's their responsibility to keep up the relationship. It' just sad I think!

Its my Birthday, been up with DH for hours, had breakfast together, walked the dogs and he hasn't even said 'Happy Birthday'

Have two adult DD's, both that live a couple of hours away, neither of them have messaged me to say 'Happy Birthday' either. Both will be up and at work by now too.

Just makes me feel pretty shit as I always make sure its the first thing I do, or say, or message to my family when its theirs. I always make sure I make a bit of a fuss of them.

For no-one to even acknowledge by Birthday by 10.30am has just made me feel proper rubbish.

I am a good mum, and a good wife.

Shall I go out for lunch by myself or am I just being a bit of a baby and need to suck it up?

Its just another Birthday after all.

We’re in Cornwall. We have a new courtyard garden. It’s small but not tiny. We think we have room for two or three small trees which we’d like to underplant with grasses. I have some ideas but wonder what suggestions others might have

Bit of a back story - me and my DS12 dad split last year. We co parent well and DS sees his dad nearly every day. From March this year until August son went through some challenging behaviour at school including lateness to lessons, hiding from staff and vaping on 3 occasions. I was in close contact with the school, consequences were out in place at home and I got him in to councilling. Since starting councilling he has changed completely back to his old self, had got back in to his clubs outside of school and I have had several phone calls since September from school saying what a massive difference there is in him and his effort/attitude in school. Not a single negative behaviour point so far this term.

Now on to my problem. I found 2 vapes under his bed tonight. I called him through and he swears to me they are not his but they are his best mates who put them there last Thursday so his mum doesn't find him with them. After talking for a while and laying out the consequences if he is lying he allowed his dad to drive him to best mates house and tell his mum. Best mate denies it and his mum believes him.

I'm of the opinion he wouldn't let his dad drive him there and tell his mates mum if it wasn't true. The 3 times I found them he admitted it to me and accepted the consequences. I can read him like a book and know when he is lying to me and this time just feels different. He didnt shout, didn't cry, didn't get defensive just matter of factly said they were said mates.

What do I do? He has worked so hard to turn things around, is really focused on the particular sport he plays and fully knows the consequences vaping will have on his place on the team. All of this and how much he has engaged with the councillor makes me want to believe him but is he just pulling the wool over my eyes?

I’m posting here for traffic. I have thick curly hair but I straighten it most of the time. I need to put it up in a ponytail for work. Are invisibobble's any good? I’ve been looking at them but they're a bit pricey so I’m not sure if they are worth it or not.

Hi all, just wondering if anyone has been in a similar position and whether these feelings ever go away.

I’ve been with my husband for many years. We met young, are now in our 40s, have a young child and, on paper, have a really lovely life together.

We’ve had a very difficult journey to becoming parents, with fertility struggles, losses and significant health complications along the way. We’ve now accepted that our family is complete, although that hasn’t been an easy thing to come to terms with.

Last year, after a particularly difficult experience, I had a serious medical complication that really shook me. I’ve spent a long time recovering, having counselling and working on my physical and mental health. I’m in a much better place now, and in many ways feel like a different person. But I also feel as though something has shifted in me, and I can’t quite put my finger on what it means for my marriage.

I love my husband. He’s kind, attractive, an amazing father and genuinely one of the best things to have happened to me. He’s supported me through some incredibly difficult times, and I know how much he loves me. Our family life is happy, and I’m very aware of how lucky I am in so many ways.

But romantically, something feels missing.
We’re becoming increasingly different in what we want from life. He’s very much a homebody, whereas I want to get out, socialise, travel, try new things and feel like I’m making the most of life. We have very little family support nearby, and I often feel as though it’s down to me to organise anything we do as a couple or family. If I don’t make the plans, we tend to stay at home and do very little. He doesn’t leave the house other than work and I feel smothered and bored.

I have a demanding job, ADHD, anxiety and a busy family life, so I’m often overwhelmed already. I find myself increasingly frustrated that I’m the one who has to create the fun, make the plans and push us to do things. I don’t want to feel like the activities director for our family.

We both struggle with anxiety and have worked hard on our mental health, but I sometimes worry that this is simply who he is, rather than something that’s going to change.

He rarely plans dates or surprises, doesn’t particularly enjoy travelling and seems perfectly content with a much quieter life than I want. Over time, this has really affected our chemistry and sex life. I hate admitting it, but I increasingly feel more like his best friend than his wife, and I’m struggling to find him exciting or interesting in the way I once did. Our conversation has become so boring - often he just talks about house stuff or work. I zone out.

I feel awful even writing that because he hasn’t done anything terrible. He’s a good man and a good husband in so many ways. I sometimes wonder whether I’m being unfair by wanting him to change, when perhaps I’ve simply changed myself.

I’ve also found myself constantly fantasising and dreaming about being with other people. I wouldn’t cheat, as that’s something I feel strongly against, but the fact that I’m thinking about it so often makes me wonder what it’s telling me about how I feel. I feel guilty because I love him, but I also feel that there’s so much life ahead of me and I don’t want to spend it feeling bored, frustrated and disconnected.

I’ve tried talking to him about some of this, but I struggle with the feeling that I’m asking him to become someone he’s not. I don’t want to make him feel inadequate or suggest that the person he is isn’t good enough. Equally, I don’t know how to ignore what I’m feeling.
I have friends whose partners are selfish, unsupportive or don’t pull their weight with the children, and I sometimes wonder whether I’m being ridiculous for questioning a marriage with a man who loves me and treats me well.

Has anyone else experienced this? Can you come back from feeling like you’ve outgrown your partner, particularly when there isn’t a big betrayal or obvious reason to leave? Did you manage to rediscover the attraction and excitement, or did you eventually accept that love and compatibility aren’t always the same thing?

I genuinely don’t know whether this is a phase, the aftermath of a difficult few years, or a sign that something fundamental has changed in me. I’d really appreciate hearing from anyone who’s been there.

I have 2 boys 14 and 17 🎄🎄🎄