I realise I am probably asking the impossible!

I’ve lived in this house for 20 years but haven’t yet found a layout for this room that really works. I think the options are very limited but thought I’d ask, anyway as others often view things differently.

I’m just about to get the Artexed ceiling plastered over and am very excited about that! So I am clearing the room out in preparation.

In this room I need to fit a double wardrobe (currently in the chimney recess by the window), a double bed (currently with headboard to the wall left of door). I also have a chest of drawers against the wall on the right as you enter the room.

I also have ‘the chair’ for draping work clothes over in the corner! I have loads of books piled up!

I have thought about placing the bed where the wardrobe is but that means 1 person doesn’t have a side and I don’t like that.

I wondered if bed by window would be better but I think I’d need some flowy kind of curtains for that to look good?

I would really love to create a sanctuary in here and am usually able to do that but this room has me beaten!

I have an open fire downstairs that we occasionally use so removing the chimney isn’t an option.

and seeing how many people have died out of my life in recent years.

:(

A lack of humour and self reflection is not helping.

Are these the sort of ankle boots I can wear with tights and a dress?
I don't wear heels at all so I'm thinking for meals, drinks but also just days out.
I'm clueless with shoes!
I've got narrow feet but fat legs so I struggle to find knee high boots that fit me (I've bought loads in the past!)
https://www.marksandspencer.com/leather-lace-up-block-heel-ankle-boots/p/clp23084896?intid=mobile_app_pdp_share

I have a new manager and they are new to the business. They couldn’t do work straight away which is fair enough but it meant that my workload increased to a really extreme level.

Anyway, I had to flag it as it was no long workable and it was impacting my performance. My old manager stepped in (she’s also my new managers manager) and asked that he now starts picking up some of the workload.

Now every single time we have a catch up, he brings it up how he’s supporting me by doing some of the workload ….. that is literally his job. He says it like he’s doing me a favour and it’s starting to irk me.

What watch brand do you favour? Any one got any intel on watches these type of young gents wear? To set the scene, they are also wearing black joggers or low slung jeans, Nike sport socks, Nike trainers, a white t shirt preferably Calvin Klein and a gym shark or Nike hoody, Ralph Lauren if they are feeling swish, topped off with a black north face or adidas coat and perhaps a little Nike beanie if
it is sub zero temps or they are unhappy with their hair. Any cool brands to know for a watch?

My family (mum and her partner, my sister and half sister and their families) are due to visit and stay with us for a few days over Xmas. We live about 150 miles from them so we alternate spending Christmas in the two places, although we always go out for Christmas dinner. My half sister doesn’t always join us but does sometimes and is this year.

We all agreed on the restaurant for Christmas Day a few months ago and I booked it. My half sister is now saying she can’t afford it and wants us to host Xmas dinner at home. We really don’t want to do that as we look forward to going out for it, not cooking and just relaxing.

I’ve suggested that she comes before or after Xmas for a day or two instead but she thinks that’s unfair and doesn’t see why we can’t just cook dinner at home. My mum is siding with her and it’s causing friction. Are we being unreasonable to not want to change our plans and not want to have to cook dinner ourselves when we were looking forward to going out?

We don’t have the biggest house and our very small dining table is in an alcove in the lounge, we pull it out for meals but there is 6 of us squeezed around this 4 seater table with 2 extra chairs.
Last year we decided to do a cold meat buffet instead and just have our plates on the sofa and it worked so we’ve decided to do the same again.
This year ds has a girlfriend and has asked if she can come for Christmas and I explained it will only be buffet but he’s unimpressed and says she’s from a posh family and would expect a traditional roast dinner.

Aibu to say we can’t cater for anyone else? We don’t mind if she wants to come for a while or even for some of the buffet but I will not be cooking a Christmas dinner.
Ds is concerned about her reaction to a non traditional roast.
We have met her once and I did put on a similar cold meats buffet back in the summer but she didn’t eat anything.

Hi all. Here's our new thread. Giving Rainbow a break and until Reastie returns. Sorry there wasn't a more inspiring title, didn't spot any comedy typos this time.

This is intended as a friendly, kind, safe, warm and fuzzy place for people to share discounts, bargains and Christmas gift ideas both online and IRL. Please note the tone and intention of the thread and join with spirit as generous as DC helping themselves to the Christmas chocolate celebrations

Here’s some useful information about how to save the thread or a specific post so you don’t need to have a message to check in for every thread so you have the thread saved:

To watch the thread - click on the little bell that has ‘watch’ under my first message. This adds the whole thread to your ‘watched threads’

You can also bookmark a specific post by clicking on the ‘bookmark’ under the specific post. This saves your exact place in a thread but doesn’t alert you to new replies.

If you have any referral links or codes, please share them on the referral thread here:

www.mumsnet.com/talk/christmas/5444936-bargain-referrals-thread-8

A reminder that we don't use affiliated links on here please

🎄 Emoji to copy if required for posting bargains as some agree this makes deals easier to spot. (or post in bold)

I didn't even know she was the one, and when I clicked, it was too late, already sold. Pic attached - grey, purple and yellow. Gorgeous colours in the right ratios, wool, just the right shape. I can't find another anywhere else (well, some Chinese knock off sites that I can't imagine deliver on their promise) and haven't found an alternative. The second pic could have been another vinted contender but angora in the mix nixed it for me. I saw these https://www.wolfandbadger.com/eu/lola-sweater-in-multicolor-multicolour/ & https://www.wolfandbadger.com/eu/striped-stitch-maya-crew-multicolour-stripe/ but they are too expensive not to be right.

I'm looking for boxy, wide stripes and jewel tones, in merino, wool or cashmere (or mix). No angora, mohair or acrylic. I have considered knitting one myself but I'm painfully slow at the best of times, currently exacerbated by actual shoulder pain. I'd pay £200-300 because I'll wear it forever. Very grateful for any suggestions

Hello all

I love my pets so much

I have a new house and I have set up lots of beautiful areas for my cats.
they have clean litter trays all over the house, they get to come in and out we have cat flaps (we are on a farm)

A stray came a few months ago, we love him and he has fitted in well.
there are no issues with the other cats and all seems ok

however

two of the cats will not stop peeing each day in areas in the house.
it is every day and I dont know what to do any longer

they have clean cat trays and free access to go outdoors

they pee on my shoes, on my clothes
one will spray over the kitchen worktops

we got those plug ins from amazon but it has not made a difference

each day I am up at 6am and it takes an hour at least to clean all the pee and to have the worktops in decent condition before the kids awake at 7

go easy on me

I dont know what may help

I hate to say it but `I may have to set up a cat shed with blanket and put them in there each night

they pee mostly at night

any help please

I’ve NCd for this. I’m looking for some honest thoughts and opinions that I probably won’t get in real life.

I’m 34 and have MS. I tend to look ok (not to myself, but as in, you probably wouldn’t guess to look at me apart from on a very bad day). Lots of my symptoms are invisible: balance, muscle spasms, numbness, dizziness, and the worst of them all, fatigue.

I live with my parents, and I work full time. My parents do SO much for me, they do the food shop and all of the housework. I do pay my way (a third of everything, and a bit extra). I go to work, exercise twice a week and then crash at the weekends. I often won’t leave the sofa because I’m so exhausted. If I try to see friends etc, I’m done in for the next working week too. I truly can’t explain what the fatigue feels like- I’m so bone tired and brain foggy I’m tearful at the thought of another day ahead, even after nine hours sleep.

I desperately want to buy a house and have some independence, but I really can’t envisage being able to work full time and then do all of the life stuff that my parents currently are basically doing for me. I’ve realised I probably will never be able to have children (a whole other heartbreak in itself).

The thought of my life being as it is forever terrifies me. I feel like if I could work 3 days a week, I could still have 2 days for rest and be able to manage things like cooking and housework. But to do this financially, I’d have to look at PIP.

I think part of what makes this difficult is that I probably don't fit the stereotypical picture of someone who needs disability benefits. I work full time, I exercise twice a week, I look relatively well most of the time. I can do things, and I recognise that there are people with MS who are much more physically affected than I am.
But I also spend most of my non-working time recovering from the basics, and I rely heavily on my parents to do the things that make everyday life function.

I feel a bit stuck between two things. I don't feel disabled enough to justify asking for support, but I also know that I just can’t continue living like this indefinitely. I don't want to spend the next 30 years working full time, coming home exhausted and spending my weekends recovering. I want a home, independence, relationships, experiences and a life that isn't entirely dictated by how much energy I have left.

I suppose I'm asking whether reducing my working hours and potentially claiming PIP is a reasonable way of approaching this, or whether I'm being unrealistic and actually this is just what my life is going to look like. I also recognise that lots of people are exhausted from full time work!

I'd really appreciate honest opinions- I genuinely want to hear how other people see this, even if it's not necessarily what I want to hear. Thank you.

For context this wasn’t an affair but feels like it was

Split with my DH a few years ago after feeling disconnected emotionally ( although the OH was already in my life as we worked together so I do wonder if subconsciously I was making comparisons but I definitely didn’t do it being aware and OH was with someone during this time so nothing was untoward )

Once I split with my DH i started to see this OH about 6 months down the line - all made quite complicated as DH refused to leave the family home and our teenage children which I understood so we agreed to live together until they turned 18

This did mean that for the next 2 years it felt like I was having an affair as my sons were furious with me for breaking up the marriage, constantly saw their dad upset and were very aware their dad would want me back so saw me as the villain completely

Fot this reason OH was never spoken about at all, no meeting the kids etc and I only ever saw him in his area and at his home ( when he didn’t have his child so no crossover there either )

He was funny which was the main pull as DH is ASD like our sons and very logical and doesn’t find many things funny - particularly me which started to grind me down, the sex was amazing as I find him physically my type and we were like best friends however he also was a big avoidant and whenever anything would go wrong his end, mainly as his teenage daughter seemed to be going a little off the rails and the mum was struggling to cope with her so would often just drop her at his door with no warning, he would go very silent and with the distance already between us it just built up and I ended the relationship

I miss him terribly however I couldn’t imagine ever blending the families or even being able to live with him without losing my children who are fiercely loyal to their dad

I do love my DH and he has may qualities I feel very lucky he has but there is a spark missing and I met him at 21 when I had just come out of a chaotic relationship and we rushed ahead and had the boys quickly

I want it to work with him and don’t know how to juggle the feelings of missing things with the OH as well as trying to feel a better connection with my DH so nothing like this ever happens again

Any help gratefully appreciated 😊

I've been wearing a topper for a couple of years now, but I don't like what the clips are doing to my own hair and it can feel a bit uncomfortable by the end of the day. I wear it all day for work and when I leave the house.

I bought a couple of wigs last Christmas from a very cheap site, for fancy dress, but they feel so much more comfortable, I've now decided to move on to wigs. I've ordered 2 wigs from JB Extensions, I've got a Lila and and Claire on the way. And a wig grip.

If you wear one, did you find people can tell, do you keep it quiet or do you switch it up regularly so its obvious? I ordered these two in the same colour to try to pass it off as straight or curly hair.

Fairly recently, Ive realised I dont like these things:

Live albums/song recordings. No matter how much I love the band or song.
Watching dance…especially in a musical
Songs named after women…even I can’t explain that one!
Meals where every mouthful is the same…e.g. pizza

I wouldnt have said these things a year ago I dont think , so it proves TIPU am still getting to know myself in my late 50’s!

Anyone else had a similar epiphany?

DS is 6. He started music ( tin whistle) classes at the end of Sept. There are 3 other boys in his class - two are 8, one is 6 or possibly 7.

DS is struggling a bit. He can’t get his fingers onto the whistle properly to cover the bottom holes. The other boys seem to be better than him.

We didn’t have class at Halloween so there was a 2 week break. We were away for a few days so he didn’t get to practice.

The teacher takes the boys into a small room and parents stay outside (but must stay on premises).

Last night DS left class really upset. I knew there was something wrong and he started crying as soon he got into car. He says that the teacher told him he might have to go to a different class if he doesn’t practice. Also at one point, he says, he played a squeaky note and the teacher said ‘are you deaf?’ to him loudly

I am furious. I don’t know whether to pull him out and ask for our money back. I think it’s unacceptable that she would say that to him without having discussed moving classes or being annoyed at the lack of practice to me.

Just to add - he doesn’t practice daily. We did 20 mins practice on Saturday and I lifted him early from after-school yesterday and he did another 20/25 mins practice.

Just to add, my initial reaction was to say that we’d practice every night and work on it together. However when my partner got home he mentioned quitting and finding another teacher, so that’s what DS now wants to do.

Just looking for views and advice really. Posting in AIBU for traffic! AIBU for pulling him out?

Welcome back, beauty addicts, and a warm welcome to anyone joining us for the first time!
This thread has been going strong for years (since at least 2015!) and has become a friendly space for sharing our beauty wins, misses, empties, declutters and mindful purchasing victories.
Whether you're trying to shop your stash, resist temptation, use up what you already own, or simply chat about the products you've loved, loathed or finally finished, you'll find plenty of encouragement and honest opinions here.
Post your empties, your chucks, your repurchases and your regrets. Together we've helped each other make more thoughtful beauty purchases, save money, reduce waste and enjoy our collections more.
All beauty product addicts are welcome, whether you're on a no-buy, low-buy, or happily browsing with good intentions! 💄✨

I've been in a relationship with a serial cheater for several years. Now, I've said it. I've never been particularly attractive to men, objectively speaking, and I've always struggled to find relationships, so I tend to cling to the few I've managed to have, even when I know really shouldn't. I know, very healthy.

I was the breadwinner in this relationship. I brought in roughly 5x and he has three children to pay maintenance for, so I covered pretty much all our living expenses.

In the last few weeks, two things happened in quick succession.

I discovered yet another affair. I've honestly lost count, but I think this was number six or seven. The other woman, or rather girl, as she's only 19, sent me photos and screenshots I desperately wish I could unsee. He'd told her he loved her and wanted to marry her immediately.

What made this one spectacularly bad for some reason was the financial on top of the physical and emotional cheating. It turned out he'd been paying her rent while I was paying all our expenses as he said he has some debts to pay off.

Then, within 2 weeks, he was diagnosed with a terminal illness. It's a condition that will probably leave him severely disabled within a year and is likely to end his life within five. He is likely to have very significant care needs very soon.

I finally found it in myself to end the relationship and have given him until the new year to move out.

He's made a couple of social media posts about his diagnosis, ("sharing awareness" style) mentioning that I've ended the relationship but that he doesn't blame me, as he's about to become a "liability" and can't work anymore. He also made a point of saying that he'll be homeless from the New Year because I've asked him to move out.

I'm now the awful woman who abandoned a man as soon as he became seriously ill, leaving him with no place to live and no financial support.

To everyone else, he's this charming, kind, jovial man. And yes he genuinely can be all those things. But there's another side to him that they haven't had to live with.

Some of the things people have said to me have been absolutely vicious. I've never felt so hurt or so alone in my life.

I don't even know what my AIBU.

AIBU to think that ending a relationship after years of repeated infidelity doesn't suddenly make me a bad person just because he has become seriously ill at the same time?

Hi everyone, I’m a qualified male laser hair removal practitioner planning to open a clinic for men and women in the UK. I’d appreciate your honest opinions:

● Would you feel comfortable booking with a male practitioner?

● Would it depend on the area, for example, underarms or legs versus bikini/Hollywood?

● Would meeting the practitioner first, female client reviews, a female chaperone or bringing a friend along to the appointment influence your decision? Or would you prefer a female practitioner regardless?

If you’ve had treatment with a male practitioner, how was your experience?

All honest answers are welcome. Thank you!

On the back of the whole Russell Brand trial, David Walliams is under the spot light...and now even Jonathon Ross has a thread started (is he next) and it got me thinking...

what about Katy Perry? She has multiple incidences of documented sexual misconduct againt young lads (TV show and music video) where clearly there was a power imbalance.

Ruby Rose reported her rubbing her vagina in her face. I recall at the time mumsnet posters were saying it was 'gross'. Imagine downplaying someone being sexually assaulted by simply saying it was gross behaviour?

I have expected Katy Perry to have been cancelled by now or at the very least for the Brand trial to have thrown light back on to her past behaviour.

However, seemingly her gender lets her off the hook, and she continues to enjoy a fruitful career, but why?

I've seen MN posters display sympathy towards KP during the RB saga but I'm wondering why people are happy to look the other way when it comes to her conduct?

Just to start by saying I’ve changed my user name for this post.

I found flirty messages between DH and a colleague on Monday. I won’t go into detail as to why I looked as it isn’t overly relevant and I am looking for advice on the below alone.

Backstory is that a group of colleagues where he works are supposed to be using one of their volunteering days at a local hospice, sorting donations etc. People have been dropping out meaning it would only be DH and this one other colleague going (a woman).

This is the exchange I’ve taken offence to:

DH- Any idea what we’d be best to wear? I’m thinking it could be quite dusty
Colleague - I’ll be in my leggings I think
Colleague - Might treat everyone to my scrunch bums 😂
DH - Careful, you’ll finish some of the oldies off at their age 😂
Colleague - Good job you are sooo young yourself then.
DH - Only thing I might get is an awkward twitch down below 😅
Colleague - No tight leggings for you then 😂
DH - not with my figure, maybe if I had yours 😂

DH apologised when I confronted him - said his colleague is like one of the lads and they always have close to the line banter. I’ve said I’d be uncomfortable with him going to this day with her alone. He says I’m wrong to insist he doesn’t and it’s a charitable cause.

So, am I unreasonable to ask DH not to attend?

I live an hour away from
my partner of a year. We see one another overnight once per week for 24-36 hours and then have a coffee/ walk on an evening midweek .
My 16 year old child has an issue with this. He refuses to engage in any activity outside the home except for walking the dog. Doesn’t meet friends , just wants me around all the time and has just accused me f being a shit mother essentially and asked why I had kids when’
im always gone’. My
other kids are thrilled for me . I’ve solo
parented all my life .. even when married but have done it completely on my own for the last eight years where I was fully
committed to my children and my work to support them.
I am sick to death of this child trying to control my life. I have so so little going on outside my home and I have probably finally met the live of my life where I am treated with such kindness, respect and love and my son kicks off.. again!!
Im emotional tonight as I’ve just received another tirade of verbal abuse but am I being unreasonable here???

Welcome back everyone. New thread just in time for Black Friday.

How is everyone's self restraint looking? 😂😂😂

Fingers crossed for some good bargains this year especially all those advents that haven't sold out. We've probably bought some of those already but let's ignore that.

Happy bargain hunting. 😍

I'm applying for a senior position where some companies ask for a certain qualifcation in order to do the role, some don't. I don't have the qualifcation but I'm about to enroll on it later this month, and I'm currently doing the role but looking for better pay.

I had an interview with a company last week, a large franchise who did not state anywhere on their advert that they needed staff to have it, they actually wrote 'willing to work towards'.

In the interview they were aware I didn't have it and told me how they fund the qualifications for staff after 6 months so I'd be able to do that.

Interview went well and I was told I'd hear in a few days. Had a phone call today telling me I'd been unsuccessful because I don't have the qualification, but they could offer me a junior role (I declined). They knew i didn't have the qualification but still interviewed me!

I couldn't be bothered debating with them over the phone, they really wasted my time. Am I missing something here? Maybe it's just an excuse.

I've NC because I feel this is a bit of a controversial opinion

But AIBU to actually feel a bit sorry for men who grew up in the era of Nuts/Zoo/'Shagger of the Year' awards? Whatever their characters, they weren't encouraged to believe that consent should be unequivocally sought and given. They had awful men feted by the media as role models. Awful behaviour towards women was celebrated and joked about, on TV, in magazines, everywhere. I can remember as a teenager really having no clue about what my 'rights' were as a woman around consent, etc - absolutely nobody ever spelled it out to me, or to the girls and boys around me.

I guess I'm asking AIBU to feel a bit sad that men who grew up in that era probably did have a bit of a tricky time working out how to be men?

To be very clear, I absolutely believe that all the decent boys and men worked it out fine for themselves. I just think - kids look to the world to learn how to be, and the world we grew up in taught us some really crap things when it came to this