To find tea drinkers exhausting? 🍵
I might have the very odd cup in the rare event of a hangover. Dh would only have one if a guest is present. When we have tea - drinking guests they will drink about 3 cups in a row , five times per day. I've started telling them to help themselves to a cup because it's so exhausting keeping up with making cups of tea. Why not have a glass of water every now & then? There really is no need for copious amounts imo- especially in this weather. Are they addicted?

I leaned into the culottes and polka dot trend this season and was delighted with this bargain in Sainsburys last week. I thought I looked great. Effortless and summery chic etc etc. Until 14yo DD looked up at me with withering disdain and asked why was I dressed like a Tombliboo.

We had a similar situation last year when I bought a striped teeshirt and they called me Bagpuss for the whole summer.

This is doing my head in, and I just wondered how to handle it.

I am due to retire soon. May possibly be early next year. (Luckily, I am retiring a few years earlier than I thought I would be able to - at 60.)

DH's cousin's wife, works for a charity shop, and is the Deputy Manager, and all she has banged on about, since DH decided to mention (about 3 months ago,) that I may be retiring soon is how wonderful it is that they'll have an extra pair of hands in the charity shop, and has told me to let her know when I retire, so she can pop me on the rota!

I mean, WTF? I have worked since I was 16, so about 43 years, with no break, other than 2 maternity leaves of 4 months each (and they're not holidays,) and she has me lined up for work in her shop. 'I'm sure we can squeeze a couple of 8 hour shifts a week out of you!' she said smugly the other day.

She is also trying to get me to join her 'walking group.' She lives 7 miles away, and it's her village walking group, so I would have to drive there every time (it's twice a week.) I love walking but HATE doing it in groups. Prefer to do it alone. Sometimes with DH, or my DC, occasionally a friend, but NOT in a big group. There's 25 or so of them, and I like to walk at my own pace, and on my own chosen routes.

I could honestly cuss DH for telling her. Me retiring is none of her business! It's OK for her, up to 2 years ago (she's aged 56 now,) she has always been a homemaker/stay at home mum, (and has had no children at home for the past 12 years and was still a homemaker for another 10 years before getting this charity shop job..) There's nothing wrong with being a homemaker if it suits both of you in the couple.... But basically she has never had to work... I am looking forward to a chance to just do ....... nothing, as I have worked nearly 43 years!

Well, maybe sit in the garden reading, going for walks, (not in big groups!) and looking around the shops, and going to the woodlands, doing some gardening, writing poetry, and just doing what I want to, after 43 years of work. OK, the last 28 have been part time - 20 to 22 hours a week, but I was raising a family as well as working part time, (our DC left around 6-7 years ago,) and I am looking forward to the total freedom, and not having to do anything, unless I want to, and I don't want DH's bossy cousin's wife arranging my life for me. (DH is planning on retiring about 2 years after me......)

So far, I have just been like 'err, ha ha, errrm, well...' and she's moved on to the next subject (we see her maybe once every 3-4 weeks.) DH said I just need to tell her NO, but how can I word it without sounding horrible? She is really bossy, and I am quite placid and quiet.. Upshot is I am not working in the charity shop because I don't want to, OR joining the 'walking group!' I hate big group gatherings, and am a free spirit, and always get lost in these groups and ignored, because I'm fairly quiet.

HELP! How can I deal with this? I'm so annoyed that I have to!!!

cost of weekly food shop - Our food shop cost is crippling me. Our weekly food shop is £300 for 2 adults , 14 year old and a cat. My husband thinks that’s normal and is just the cost of living when I know my friends are paying half that. His response is well they are not being honest and they are actually paying more.

I can’t continue paying £300 a week, it’s insane I know . I’ve tried talking to him that it’s too much and he’s blaming me stressing over it on “ time of the month” as usual.

My question is , honestly what are families spending on their food shop weekly.

I am 47 and just so sad that I can't seem to find a nice man who wants to be with me. I've already been though the mill with men who are happy to use me for sex or as a placeholder or a therapist while they get over the woman they really loved or men who see my home and savings as a way to fund their own lifestyle but an actual partner is so much harder to find. My latest stint on apps shows me my admirers are young lads looking to fulfil an older woman fantasy and much older men close to my fathers age who seem to think I'll be jumping at the chance to date a pensioner. Sorry I don't mean to sound unkind but like most women I just want a guy roughly my own age and stage of life.

I look at other women I know and most of them do have loving partners who obviously adore them who share the load of life with them and are there for fun things like holidays, meals out and just spending time together at home. I can't help but wonder what's wrong with me? Why am I the one on the shelf, the one nobody decent wanted? I know I shouldn't but I do compare myself to other women and I don't think I am any worse looking or less likeable than them so why haven't I found anyone? The only thing I can think of is that I didn't really date in my 20's I was busy with work, family and friends in that time, travelling and having a great time and only really seriously started thinking of dating when I turned 30 but it seems that by then most of the good men had been snapped up and now older single women are all left sifting though other women's rejects and trying to find the very rare good man who still becomes available. It doesn't help that the few good men I do know who have become single (mostly family so not men I'd date) have all ended up with significantly younger women. I think I am still attractive but I am ageing quite noticeably now so how can I compete if men worth having will usually go younger if they can?

I also feel like I can't face going back into it again at this stage, its all too humiliating but at the same time I do really want a partner and it does feel like time is against me.

Advice needed but I am not 100% purchasing!

Ds is 4 , nearly 5. obsessed with reptiles mainly snakes but I am terrified. Can get on board with a lizard they are cute and did see a leopard gecko (i think the name is) is easy to keep etc

We are taking him to pet shops and a little showcase of reptiles and seeing if he is serious. If so (I know I will be doing mainly care) we are considering a pet as part of his 5th birthday. Again not definite we will be exposing him to more reptiles up until birthday will educate him on them etc. But i know as hes so young me and DH will do all of the care really but we are open to it

So im doing this post! To educate me and so I can pass onto DH

Another question is, we have 2 shih tzus. Would this be a problem? They can get up on the couch thats it so I know they wont be able to get to a tank or anthing. May bark first few days but if this is a big no.let me know please

All tips and education please leave here!

Our old boss took ill suddenly in December last year and died shortly after. They been the boss for 20+ years, so appreciate we were all very used to them.

Following their illness I became interim boss. In April I was offered the role permanently but declined as it would mean returning to full time work. I'm bitterly regretting not taking it due to new boss!

We're a remote team, have been since many years before COVID. New boss clearly hates remote working. We do have an office, but it seats 10 people and us open to the whole business (approx 300 people) not just our department (40 people). New boss wants everyone in the office 2 days a week. HR have told him to go whistle - we are all on remote contracts and live across the whole of the UK, including channel Islands and 2 in France!

New boss is now insisting we schedule any "coffee breaks" (you know, where you brew up between meetings) and that under no circumstances are we to appear on screen with tea/ coffee if it isn't adjacent to our scheduled break. In addition he's put an embargo on lunch time errands, such as laundry, popping to the post office or collecting the car from the garage. All time is to be accounted for.

As you can imagine, morale has gone down the pan. We're a high performing department, there is 0 issues with productivity. Our work is largely invisible most of the time, lots of thinking time and idea generation which makes monitoring our day to day workloads difficult, but we always exceed our targets at quarter and year ends - so people are clearly working. In the 6 weeks he's been in there's been a noticeable change in how people are working, fewer people on early or late, most just working to their hours.

AIBU to think he's being a bit of a dick and just needs to chill the fuck out?

We're off to Krakow for 4 nights at the end of August. We've never been before so are very excited. I'm just a bit stuck on what to wear. Is it casual all the way or do people dress up a bit for evening meals etc? Are wedge sandals and dresses worth bringing or should I just stick to trainers and wide legged trousers? I have no clue how to dress for a warm city break!

My neighbour opposite has young children, I sympathise and understand kids that age are going to make noise, it’s just what they do.

However every single weekend for the past 6 months since then moved in (and I imagine most of the summer hols) the neighbour has been letting them play out in the front garden from 6am or getting them in the car and they just scream full pelt non stop.
It’s right opposite my bedroom window, they wake me up and I can’t get back to sleep.
I am absolutely sick of it. They are council tenants can I put in a noise complaint? I have mentioned it to the mother before and she didn’t seem to see the issue using the excuse they’re little.

This morning it was from 5.45am.

Right, this is going to sound nosy but here goes...
A house in a street I know was owned by an old lady with no family. When she died, her house stood empty for nearly a year then it started having work done. It's been bought by a health service far away from he town we live in (think I live in Liverpool and NHS Devon and Cornwall bought it) BTW these are not the real locations. So, they do lots of renovations, including putting a much higher fence up which has a key code entry they also put frosted film on every window. There's a new build extension on the side with coded keypads too. This is where 2 carers are. There are 4 carers altogether, 2 at a time and then a swap. There is one man who lives there . He is in his 30s , able bodied can move well etc I've seen him once or twice in the garden in a whole year. Another twice I saw a darkened van come to get him. He was only gone for an hour or so then back.
I cannot imagine the scenario this might be. I'm not curtain twitching and permanently watching but I am fascinated.

Am going to a British/Indian wedding later this summer. Actual wedding in church, all straightforward. Party the night before with Indian food and dancing. The Indian women will be in lehengas. Dress code is very open so I don’t have to look for a lehenga, though I am open to the idea. I definitely want something bright and fun. Happy to look at Vinted etc, but wondering if anyone has ideas.

I’m 5’4 and a size 18-20. Would rather not have lots of midriff showing, but a sliver is okay.

I actually really thought she wouldn't do that

Hi all, my husband and I have 2 children, both teenagers, my husband is French and he has 2 sons from his first marriage. His son’s mother is Italian and one of his sons dates someone else who is both French and Italian.
Today his son and gf visited, and they’ve really pissed me off.

We can’t afford to travel right now, we will spend a few weeks in France later in August staying with family but our children have only ever been to France and the UK (where we live).

Step son and his gf on the other hand have obviously been to Italy too, and travelled far and wide. They are just back from a week in Germany, they are going to Florence and Ischia soon and South America in the winter.

Step son asked today where were taking the kids on holiday and when I said well just to see family, he asked if they’d been to Italy I said no they’ve only been to France, he and his girlfriend continued listing countries to which I kept saying no like I said only France but then I’d get WHAT NOT EVEN SPAIN, in a shocked tone.
Our teen overheard this and has since asked why her brother travelled more when he was young than she has.
It has made me feel really crap tbh, AIBU thinking this was unnecessary, tone deaf and a bit cruel?
Should I get DH to say something?

DS overheard me telling DH I had ordered two hampers for his teacher and class TA as a thank you gift.

DS was very pleased and told his teacher two hamsters are being delivered tomorrow.

I mean …

Sincere thanks to all amazing EYFS teachers and TAs. Honestly can’t believe how much ds has learned this year.

🐹

End of term address to staff by the HT of a large and successful secondary school.

There were some tech problems at the start and he opened his remarks by saying "two things I hate, microphones and women who say no".

Now, who knows what he was actually thinking. I don't think (hope) he meant sexually, but even in the context of "difficult" women that's not OK for a teacher and employer to say? Is it?

It was an address to staff thanking them for the year etc etc. Most people laughed. Would you?

Very late to the summer party but Im hoping wiser mumsnetters can help me find some sandals. Ive attached a couple of pics of the sort of thing im after. But not in the animal print these are! Ive got wide feet so sandals where you csn adjust the straps are probably better. Im hoping to wear them for shopping/short walks so not massively high but not completely flat either. Of the 2 I've shown i think i prefer the style of the brown pair. Any suggestions gratefully received. Thank you!

Does anyone know where Lily Allen's black/navy (?) bikini is from that shes wearing in her recent holiday pics on Insta?

Ive searched the comments and done a reverse image search but can't find it.

Either the exact one or a close dupe 🤞

Received an email from our manager about our use of products from a certain shop. Some waffle about items being non recyclable , which could be fair enough I suppose. It didn’t stop there though, it continued with “do you realise this costs x amount a year?” and then the worst bit “ it encourages deposits of belly fat “.
I find it incredibly patronising(we’re nit children and need daddy to help us budget or explain exactly how much we spend) and overstepping(none of his business what we eat/drink and whether we’re overweight because if it or not). Not just that, but we do have several members of staff that struggle with EDs. Not sure whether Manager is aware, but I don’t think it’s relevant.

Planning to send a strongly worded email.

AIBU?

I was in prison about 18 years ago, between the ages of 19-22. I now volunteer with charities supporting female prisoners. AMA

Going to Tenerife next week… temperatures are showing in the high teens/early 20s…

kids are already moaning it’ll be too cold to use the pool, DH is comparing with the sunshine and home and bemoaning the cost and I’m trying to put a positive spin on it…!

How much space for to store 6 adult bikes

i thought maybe 2.2 deep and between 2.4 & 2.8 - maybe alternating forwards and backwards so the handlebars dont get tangled? With 2 full width opening doors?

Ex lives several hours away (his choice) and never has or never has had DD overnight, even when he was closer. Again his choice. If anything I encouraged contact as I felt it was good for Dd to have a relationship with her father. Dd is 3.

He agreed to take two days off next week so that I could attend a work seminar and he said he would get a hotel overnight (this is what he does on a Saturday night on the weekends he drives up to see her).

He told me this morning he will be driving through the night, a 5 hour drive, to be at our house for 7:30am for me to get to work on time. I asked why he said wasn’t getting a hotel and he simply said he wants to work late the night before and it’s not necessary as he will drive at 3am. This means he essentially won’t have any or much sleep and then will be with Dd all day and taking her out to places as he doesn’t stay in my home when he sees her.

AIBU to feel this is really reckless and shit of him? He has a hard job (as do I) and I don’t think it’s wise to then do a long drive then expect to be safe and alert when looking after Dd. Am I over-worrying?

Name changed for this as may be very outing. Penis beaker, Scottish mummy, Korean granny etc

Bit long, sorry.

14yo brought letter home and was really enthusiastic for a school trip to a theme park.so I booked and paid, bit expensive but I don't want them to miss out.

3 days before they started saying they didn't want to go, basically because they wanted to see a special showing of musical the other end of the country and tickets had come up on twickets. I said no to their new plan, it would have cost a fortune anyway for hotel and travel.

14yo still complaining 2 days before trip. Night before trip they came home from school and proper kicked off about how they hated theme parks, weren't going, had nothing to wear (humourless lol at that) and had said all along they didn't want to go (double humourless lol), why was I so stupid to pay for it and so on.

It was turned 4pm and the reception staff had finished so sent a panicked email to the organiser to say 14yo had refused to go slightly glossing reason, not knowing if it was too late and teachers would be wondering where they were at silly o'clock the next morning. Luckily the organiser picked it up.

9-10pm ish, it must have sunk in that expensive theatre trip wasn't happening and rude, spoilt 14yo had another kick off demanding to go. Too late, nothing I could do, you can't mess people around like that anyway. 14yo threatened to just turn up but I explained the teachers couldn't take them because they were no longer on the list which didn't go.down well but tough.

Next morning I got them up and out to school for the normal day despite strenuous attempts at refusal. 14yo has to learn that choices have consequences, this would be a very mild consequence. The theme park trip had long gone by this point.

So - expected 14yo to be safe in school all day.

14yo got home from school and it turned out they'd been offered a place on an alternative extra-curricular, not linked to schoolwork, smaller off-site trip and they said yes... I knew nothing about it, hadn't paid and obviously wouldn't have authorised it anyway.

This really is long!

Massive safeguarding issue, if anything had happened 14yo wouldn't have been covered by insurance. Contacted school immediately. Teacher had felt sorry for the little so-and-so left behind and asked them. I am not happy in the slightest and made that clear. Also had to pay for this bloody trip after wasting theme park money, that's by-the-by because it should have been used but I didn't want a further bill.

I get the impression the school wants to sweep the safeguarding aspect under the carpet as all communication from them has very carefully skirted around this issue. WIBU to follow this up in no uncertain terms after the holidays? I get that the teacher felt like they were being kind and don't necessarily want them punished for being nice but I'm really not happy. Anything could have happened but luckily didn't and they should have at least asked for permission before taking 14yo off site for an extra-curricular.

My 2 kids go to pretty decent school where the group chat is intertwined with class reps and PTFA. Theres around 90 parent members in each chat. My issue is not only the relentless money grab opportunities but the inconsiderate few who seem to think that messaging at 6am on Saturday mornings and sometimes gone midnight on a Friday evening to ask ridiculous stuff they could have directly asked one parent or a rep rather than 90 people is completely unacceptable? Where are peoples sense of boundaries, common sense and general respect? I’ve silenced before for holidays but all you see the minute you open your phone is 30 messages about school lunches or a fundraiser. I’m due to have a baby next week so have decided to remove myself from both chats for the time being for my own sanity but would it be unreasonable to contact the school come September and request that the group chat become more regulated? Say from 7am to 9pm on a school night for example and limited on weekends? Direct questions go to a rep? I get all parents have a morning panic from time to time for example but I’ve honestly never experience the sheer volume or anything like this before. One week we were sent the same advert for a group event over 15 times. It became literal spam and random parents were reposting the message/ad through like we hadn’t received it 45 mins ago? I’ll always help and support where I can - make donations and bake etc. I’m not against trying to make improvements but this next level. It does quieten down for holidays for a bit but always select few who just don’t give a damn! It might sound ridiculous but it actually gets me down sometimes- I feel completely and utterly harassed.i know a few other parents feel the same but nobody is brave enough to speak up or go against the status quo. There will now be incessant messaging for the entire weekend due an event taking place tomorrow (as there is most weekends). Should I be that person?

AIBU unreasonable to be mildly irritated/ amused by the people who comment “congratulations again” on social media posts? Like, look at me, I’m in the inner circle and already knew this important information?!