Is it normal to want divorce during breastfeeding and early parenting?

[Mistytreees]

Just a straw poll to see if I am being unreasonable. I have two children, one is three and the other is 6 months. I am exclusively breastfeeding the baby as well as working a bit from home. The three year old is in nursery and my husband is at full time work in the office. Is it normal to have strong feelings of wanting to divorce my husband? Or should I wait until this period passes and I stop breastfeeding?

Well it depends on why you feel like you want to divorce him? What is he doing/not doing that makes you feel like this?

I think we need a bit more info than this!

It depends on the issues doesn't it. I don't think it's a great time to make big life decisions in general, so if the issues are resolvable then I would not divorce now. Either work on it now, or muddle along for a bit until you have the brain space to work on it, and time for counselling etc if needed. Issues like poor communication, lack of intimacy, work/home priorities etc fall under this I would say.

But if the issues are that he is visiting strip clubs, shouting at you, refusing to do any parenting whatsoever, gaming all night, etc, then these things are not related to having small children and the time is less relevant iyswim.

I had such rage at my DH in the first few months of pregnancy. I remember trying to get my doctor to change my emergency contact away from him because I hated him so much. It was entirely my hormones. He’d done absolutely nothing wrong other than stumble through parenthood with me. It passed in time.

Of course, your DH may be an arsehole on which case, it might be different for you.

Yes was totally normal in my experience. Your baby needs to go to childcare if you’re working

Depends why.

feeling like you are tired and dh isn’t pulling his weight - fairly normsl

he’s cheating - not normal

he’s abusing you etc - not normal

DH and I went through a rough patch when we had very young DC. All the usual reasons - both tired, not enough quality time together etc. The DC are teens now and we're still happily married so I'm glad we gave it a chance!

I definitely didn’t experience this with either of my babies. 😳 I mean, it wasn’t the most exciting time in our marriage, but divorce definitely never crossed my mind.

Without context no one can comment meaningfully.

Depends on what he is not/doing.

Not helping with the children or house, or letting you catch up on sleep then it's him, not you, that's unreasonable.

If it's because he's breathing then I think it's you, not him 😆