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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Neighbours fallen out with us

94 replies

Ilovewatchingthedrama · Yesterday 15:32

Could I have a bit of perspective on this please?

Our neighbours of many many years installed a high pitched bird scared in their back garden. It drives us crazy and it doesn’t actually stop the pigeons going into their garden. We have asked them a couple of themes if they could turn it off or at least down. When they refused we asked if they could at least leave it off until later in the morning as DD was sleeping in the back bedroom and it was waking her up. That was also met with a refusal. So the weather got nicer again and it meant we couldn’t sit in the back garden or have the patio doors open. We tried one last time but again they refused to turn it off stating what he did in his property was up to him - if only the sound stopped at the boundary that would be fair enough. we made a noise complaint to the council. They got a letter and we got a diary sheet to fill in. One of our other neighbours spoke to them (they are also sick of the noise but not willing to do anything about it) and he told them nothing was going to change. Someone else must have made a complaint as the council guy came out to him and told him to remove it. Neighbour is now chatting shit about us and the easy going relationship we had has gone forever. I know how different noises can be perceived differently by different people but we couldn’t stand that high pitched whining.

was I unreasonable to take whatever steps necessary to allow me to use my garden ?

OP posts:
BluLavender · Yesterday 15:37

Not unreasonable at all.

We have the same situation. Neighbour installed alarm to stop neighbourhood cats coming into their garden. The slightest bit of wind sets it off. They don’t hear the high pitched noise but me, DH and the kids do. It gives me migraines.

Keep documenting it!

User711985 · Yesterday 15:52

I think you just have to accept that this has happened. It’s not great but there is absolutely nothing you can do about it.

Whatever you do or think or say to them, they are still going to think that they are in the right. You are not ever going to be able to ’win’ or make them see reason because they don’t think in the same way as you do.

renovationqueen · Yesterday 15:56

Yanbu - apart from the fact you're questioning yourself!

Sunnydaysarehereagain2026 · Yesterday 15:57

You can't reason with cunts.
Our ndn's were shocked when dh told them not to bother trying to make conversation with us.
A year of fucking building work 7 days a week put paid to any sort of relationship...

Ilovewatchingthedrama · Yesterday 16:01

User711985 · Yesterday 15:52

I think you just have to accept that this has happened. It’s not great but there is absolutely nothing you can do about it.

Whatever you do or think or say to them, they are still going to think that they are in the right. You are not ever going to be able to ’win’ or make them see reason because they don’t think in the same way as you do.

It was never about winning for us, we just wanted to be able to sit outside peacefully. I do think you are right and he considers he has lost so I am expecting some type of retaliation sadly.

OP posts:
Meadowfinch · Yesterday 16:01

Bird scarers are for large agricultural setting. They are loud, and sound like shotguns because they scare the birds away. They are completely unsuitable for residential areas.

YANBU

MissMoneyFairy · Yesterday 16:02

BluLavender · Yesterday 15:37

Not unreasonable at all.

We have the same situation. Neighbour installed alarm to stop neighbourhood cats coming into their garden. The slightest bit of wind sets it off. They don’t hear the high pitched noise but me, DH and the kids do. It gives me migraines.

Keep documenting it!

We have this too and our poor cat is too frightened to go in the garden, a bird alarm doesn't work, some people are just cruel , spiteful and thick.

Ilovewatchingthedrama · Yesterday 16:05

Sunnydaysarehereagain2026 · Yesterday 15:57

You can't reason with cunts.
Our ndn's were shocked when dh told them not to bother trying to make conversation with us.
A year of fucking building work 7 days a week put paid to any sort of relationship...

That must have been soul destroying

OP posts:
TomatoSandwiches · Yesterday 16:07

Perhaps you should invest in a few cameras to deter any retaliation op.

ToadRage · Yesterday 16:09

There is a balance to be found between using your garden how you like and being a good neighbour, sounds like he was not being a good neighbour.

Sunnydaysarehereagain2026 · Yesterday 16:11

We now have their large ddog barking ALL day. Even when they are home. They have actually changed me from being a very considerate neighbour.. Our dpuppy and adult ddog play loudly in the garden. Previously I would have brought them in.. Now I just leave them to it.

Ilovewatchingthedrama · Yesterday 16:17

Meadowfinch · Yesterday 16:01

Bird scarers are for large agricultural setting. They are loud, and sound like shotguns because they scare the birds away. They are completely unsuitable for residential areas.

YANBU

This one is a high pitched whiny sound and can be bought on places like Amazon. They don’t actually work and I’ve got photos of the birds sitting a foot away from it.

OP posts:
YourPoliteTurtle · Yesterday 16:19

It's horrible that the neighbours from hell make the victims feel like they were in the wrong! Cue other threads when posters say everyone should compromise to keep good relations. Do the CF care about the relations? no!

Your neighbour was being anti-social, you have done nothing wrong.

JamJar187 · Yesterday 16:20

Sunnydaysarehereagain2026 · Yesterday 15:57

You can't reason with cunts.
Our ndn's were shocked when dh told them not to bother trying to make conversation with us.
A year of fucking building work 7 days a week put paid to any sort of relationship...

First line says it all. With bells, whistles and wind chimes on!

NewspaperTaxis · Yesterday 16:41

TomatoSandwiches · Yesterday 16:07

Perhaps you should invest in a few cameras to deter any retaliation op.

Agree - I did 'agree' but then only the poster sees it so I thought I would quote this!

AbsolutelyAvocadorable · Yesterday 16:42

A neighbour 2 doors down has something similar in their front garden to stop cats using their wood chips as a loo - fair enough. I can’t hear it but, whenever my kids pass it, they can and they hate it! Luckily it is far enough away that it doesn’t affect them on our property, if it did, I’d be requesting them to move it. You are totally NBU! Sorry they’re not listening to reason.

godmum56 · Yesterday 16:47

User711985 · Yesterday 15:52

I think you just have to accept that this has happened. It’s not great but there is absolutely nothing you can do about it.

Whatever you do or think or say to them, they are still going to think that they are in the right. You are not ever going to be able to ’win’ or make them see reason because they don’t think in the same way as you do.

actually if it is a noise nuisance, there is something that can be done.

WinterBlues26 · Yesterday 16:49

One of my neighbours opposite couldn't understand how her high pitched fox scarer could possibly be affecting me as she had pointed it at her house not mine. She didn't understand that sound bounces off solid objects 🙄 The pitch actually turned me murderous but the foxes still went down her drive. Luckily her paperboy kept accidentally standing on it, got through three before she gave up.

DierdreDaphne · Yesterday 16:49

Obviously you were NBU and you had asked them yourselves several times. So doubly NBU.

I can't imagine anyone he chats shit to sympathises with his right to be an inconsiderate arse, so I wouldn't worry.

DierdreDaphne · Yesterday 16:50

WinterBlues26 · Yesterday 16:49

One of my neighbours opposite couldn't understand how her high pitched fox scarer could possibly be affecting me as she had pointed it at her house not mine. She didn't understand that sound bounces off solid objects 🙄 The pitch actually turned me murderous but the foxes still went down her drive. Luckily her paperboy kept accidentally standing on it, got through three before she gave up.

"accidentally" you say 👀

godmum56 · Yesterday 16:50

DierdreDaphne · Yesterday 16:50

"accidentally" you say 👀

of course

DierdreDaphne · Yesterday 16:51

godmum56 · Yesterday 16:47

actually if it is a noise nuisance, there is something that can be done.

I think @User711985 meant there's nothing OP can do about the soured relationship, seeing as the neighbours decided to sour it with their antisocial pigheadedness.

Starlight7080 · Yesterday 16:51

A neighbour about 7 doors up from me has one. I avoid walking past his house. It makes me feel physically sick. The noise is awful . They should be banned

Tablesandchairs23 · Yesterday 16:52

You absolutely did the right thing. Has he taken it down like the council told him too.

godmum56 · Yesterday 16:53

DierdreDaphne · Yesterday 16:51

I think @User711985 meant there's nothing OP can do about the soured relationship, seeing as the neighbours decided to sour it with their antisocial pigheadedness.

yeah ok I agree, the neighbour ship has sailed.

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