The Bluestocking Women’s Pub: Where Clever Women Sit and Think, While Gerbils Run the Bar.

[MyrtleLion]

Come in. Yes, you’re in the right place. No, you don’t need to explain yourself.

Coats will be drycleaned before you depart. Bags won't be stolen because Gubbins will play her triangle. And you really don't want to hear it.

The gerbils run the bar.
They are small, brisk, and unionised.
One is polishing a glass with unnecessary seriousness.
Another is keeping the tab and will remember what you ordered last time.
There is a triangle involved. No one knows why. It keeps Gubbins happy.

Sit. Think. Drink. Join in.

The gerbils have it from here.

Previous thread...
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/5481554-the-bluestocking-womens-pub-definitely-full-of-ludicrous-halfwits-who-refuse-to-get-a-grip-with-unionised-gerbils

The gerbils have decided to hold their own Winter Olympics and Grindelwald, Grunhilde and Gluhwein are doing a test run of the bobsleigh. Service in the Bluestocking may be a little slow this afternoon.

Gallumpha is threatening eager to try her hand at figure skating 😬

What with the Six Nations and the Winter Olympics, I have a very sport filled viewing schedule for the next few weeks - but I can’t wait to see the gerbils’ performances!

I've started something with the silly jokes, haven't I?

I'd forgotten about the elephant lokes - and had never heard the 'mini parked outside the fridge' one, Woley😂

It belongs to that category of joke that refers back to a previous joke - absurdity layered on absurdity, because my first thought was
'A Mini parked outside a fridge, that's so silly' and then I thought
'Ah it's a reference to how you get elephants into a Mini' and
'Ah yes, I see, it's linked to the elephants in the fridge ' and eventually the correct synapses fired and I thought
'Wait a minute - elephants in a fridge? why is my brain taking this so seriously?!

What do you call a man with rabbits up his bum?
Warren.

I have a terrible habit of opening Guardian articles in background tabs on my phone to read later.

Then I end up with over a hundred open tabs and shutting them all down. I use Duck Duck Go and there's a flame button that closes them all and deletes my data. So I have decided to start reading them and it's taken about three hours.

I must be more disciplined and read them as I encounter them.

I knocked on 9 neighbours' doors who will be affected by the patio building and only four were in. But three of them were still in their dressing gowns at 1145am 😮

I am loving the silly jokes.

What do you call a man with a spade in his head?
Doug.

What do call a man without a spade in his head?
Douglas.

I had heard the Doug joke, Myrtle, but never the Douglas, so I'm laughing out loud at that! 😂

How does an elephant climb an oak tree?
It sits on an acorn and waits.

How does an elephant get down from an oak tree?
It sits on a leaf and waits until autumn.

How does an elephant hide in a cherry tree?
It paints its toenails red.

And I'm reprising the 'mini parked outside the fridge' in my mind and laughing out loud at that again too - I am a complete sucker for silly jokes😁

Here they are...

Sorry, can't get the image to load for some reason.

Whom shall you be supporting?

In 6 Nations we're Welsh, so are no doubt in for a bloody miserable few weeks. Everyone we had who was brilliant has retired, the only hope on the horizon moved to the USA and even Italy beat us the last time I went to Cardiff.

But now Louis Rees-Zammit is back, maybe we do have a hope.

I've packed my Canadian hockey shirt for Olympic viewing.

What do you call a man with a wooden head Edward

what do you call a man with 2 wooden heads

Edward Wood

and three wooden heads ……

Edward Woodward

How do elephants hide on a snooker table?
They wear green felt hats.

How do elephants hide in a bowl of custard?
Upside down, with the soles of their feet painted yellow.

How do elephants avoid sinking in the sand?
They wear sandals.

Why do ostriches bury their heads in the sand?
To look for elephants who weren't wearing sandals.

Think I'd better stop there!

How do you hide an elephant in a cherry tree?
Paint its toenails red.
Have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? No? Good disguise, isn't it.

For emergency missing-remote situations, if you have a Roku, the Roku app on your phone can supply a remote that way. My DS taught me that one, since in his house with three children the remote frequently goes missing.

I got tha one!

What’s the difference between an elephant and a lemon?

You're in good company, Marie, I'm also enjoying the silly jokes.
I'd not heard the elephants in cherry trees one before.

I'm also a sucker for malapropisms and nomnative determinism.
School office, Miss A Clark and Mrs K Clarke doing all the paperwork, for example.

What was the thread title? Where clever women sit and think..... and tell each other childish jokes.

Absolutely love it.

Go on...

Elephants and lemons...
<waits>

You mean you don’t know?
well I’m never asking you for a G&T then

😂😂😂

<groans>

Sorry.
trying to remember the other ‘what do you call…’ blokes.

what do you call a man in a bog?