The Bluestocking Women’s Pub: Where Clever Women Sit and Think, While Gerbils Run the Bar.

[MyrtleLion]

Come in. Yes, you’re in the right place. No, you don’t need to explain yourself.

Coats will be drycleaned before you depart. Bags won't be stolen because Gubbins will play her triangle. And you really don't want to hear it.

The gerbils run the bar.
They are small, brisk, and unionised.
One is polishing a glass with unnecessary seriousness.
Another is keeping the tab and will remember what you ordered last time.
There is a triangle involved. No one knows why. It keeps Gubbins happy.

Sit. Think. Drink. Join in.

The gerbils have it from here.

Previous thread...
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/5481554-the-bluestocking-womens-pub-definitely-full-of-ludicrous-halfwits-who-refuse-to-get-a-grip-with-unionised-gerbils

And - have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? No - well, that shows what a good disguise it is.

Lewis?

pete?

Pete.

I'm afraid I'm quite good at lowering tones, but only in a silly way.

I'm glad I gave us the opportunity to be totally immature and silly, and I'm enjoying the jokes - elephants/lemons/Pete/custard - all hilarious😂

I needed an afternoon of silly jokes, Marie, so thank you for lowering the tone so successfully!

My moment of Welsh Rugby optimism was misplaced. So far it's 36-7.

Gerbils, a large gin, please? Let's not bother with the tonic just yet.

(Although I do feel I ought to ask for a gin and hemlock, sometimes, with this team)

What’s yellow and highly dangerous?

Shark infested custard.

I've got this far & DH's suggestion is that you launched the remote down the garden for the dog to fetch. I pointed out that you don't have a dog, & his theory is that you were so drunk you didn't realise & thought you had one. Obviously, I would never believe this of you, But it might be worth checking the flowerbeds.

@AsWithGlad that's possibly my favourite joke!
What's brown and sticky?

A twig!

<lowers tone>
What's pink and hard in the morning?

I know I've heard that one before, but can't remember the punchline!

Strawberry custard you’ve left on the radiator overnight?

Or - a stick!

Ah! The pink ‘un, as it’s known in DS’s household.

aka The Financial Times cryptic crossword.

OK. A couple of jokes in a West Midlands accent and then I promise I'll stop.

What's the difference between a buffalo and a bison?
You can't wash your hands in a buffalo.

I was fishing in the cut yesterday and I caught a whale. I had to throw it back through. It never had no spokes in it.

Which reminds me of one of my U3A dance classes.

It was led my a lovely person who had taught dance all her life. She brought newspapers for us to use in our dance one day, for a reason I can’t remember.

They were all pink.

What's the difference between a weasel and a stoat?
A weasel is weaselly recognised, and a stoat is stoatally different.

@JanesLittleGirl OK. A couple of jokes in a West Midlands accent and then I promise I'll stop.

No, no, don’t stop!
I wondered what was going on when I came back to this thread and there were so many unread posts.
It’s delightful.

That’s one of my favourites.

Here’s a really dated joke, which I had published in my primary school magazine in about 1961.

There were two flies crawling up a window. Which was the Russian one?
The one behind the curtain.

I was going to do the 'What's brown & steaming...' one, then I realised you have to hear it, not read it.

If Scotland are playing, I support them, @PastaAllaNorma - living here, I have to. If they aren’t playing, I support Wales, because my dad used to support them - but it was not a happy experience today.

Okay one more from me

I disturbed a burglar last night……………..

i told him god did not exist

Does the Bluey need/have any of these?

https://x.com/Protect_Wldlife/status/2019727340993970454