Is there any future you'd accept for trans people?

[AYoungTransWoman]

Hello, I'm a young trans person who transitioned in my teens. I've been on hormones my entire adult life, have a GRC and will have Gender Reassignment Surgery imminently.

Is there any future you would accept for people like me who have gone through everything?

What future would you accept for women, OP?

I am waiting to see the evidence linked.

Please @Gonnaenoe can you link where you got this stat from. It really does seem to be wildly inaccurate enough to be misinformation and completely false.

Choosing not to participate in the Emperor’s New Clothes isn’t discrimination.

It’s not kind to lie to people.

The fact that your post stands and has not been deleted is proof that this is not an echo chamber.

Logic fail there.

My 10 year old son goes into male toilets - they're not scary places, although he was nervous to go alone at first, but being a little boy, he doesn't have any choice in the matter.

He does complain that they're smellier than the ladies, and that the cubicles (which he prefers over urinals) are so often broken, he'd very much prefer to come in the women's toilet again for those reasons, but he can't, because he's a boy.

Personal preferences, anxiety, are not the same as fear.

Coming to accept who you are, and what that actually means (rather than imposing extra guff that doesn't really exist) is important. It took me until my 40s. I hate to think what I would have done to myself if I'd been affirmed in my anxieties in my teens and 20s.

You're not being a woman. You're being a man. Because you are a man. It is possible to be a man in all sorts of different ways. You have chosen one that works for you. Hoorah. Own it.

Right, but is that going to bring in as much coin for the burgeoning 'transition' related plastic surgery industry? We're talking big bucks, here. Gotta sell those procedures!

OP. Can you clarify whether you ever use female single sex spaces please?

Did you really just say 'men will do it anyway' so why not throw our hands up, give in and tear down all safeguards? Btw most transwomen don't have any transitions or surgeries, they do absolutely nothing but put on a dress, and YES, males WILL do that to get access to women and girls, you are fooling yourselves if you think they won't do that when evidence shows transwomen have sexually assaulted women and girls in the female spaces, so we know they do it, and we know it happens.

The vast majority of us here are women and often mothers. The overwhelming majority wish you a peaceful, happy, safe and successful life. I suspect you’re posting this here as you’ve been told Mumsnet is anti-trans when what we are is pro-women and children.

We want women’s biological spaces to be safe. we want that for all women, those in prisons and hostels and rape counselling services. We want children and vulnerable people not to have permanent and damaging changes made to their bodies which they might regret. We want them to not be encouraged to feel estranged from their families, we want them to be able to access non-judgmental therapy, supportive of all outcomes.

Many here have fought for that to the detriment of their lives, careers and friendships.

I wish you peace and happiness.

Well you're the trans person? What future do you want?
I want one where my daughter is safe and allowed safe spaces.

I feel really sorry that you feel as you do but I'm afraid no. The hormones and the grc and the surgery, none of them make me feel comfortable with a biological male in female spaces and I don't believe you should be there. You don't feel like a woman because you don't know what it is to be one. Not really. It's okay to be a feminine man or a gay man or both. Please read more into surgery too before taking that extreme step. The results may not be as you hoped and can be rather unpleasant. Wishing you peace.

Other people on this board have suffered abuse, and sex assaults from male people who have transgender identities. I hope that you understand that just because you wouldn't be scared that others have very justifiable reasons to not want any male people over the age of about 8 in a female single sex space.

Because as has been said on this thread by multiple posters, there is no evidence at all that male people at any stage of transition have a lower risk of committing any violent act or abuse than the rest of the UK male population.

And it would also have to be proved for robust safeguarding analysis to be able to make the decision to allow them access, that they would have to have a risk that was the same or lower than the UK female population.

The reason why people are not so vocal in real life is for two reasons.
1/ most people don't care as long as what you do doesn't impact them in any way.
2/ The TRA lobby made it so that anyone that spoke up against them was in danger of being ostracised and lose their job. #nodebate remember that? Or are you going to try and rewrite that like the stonewall riots?

That should make you wonder who the actual bigots are.

Is this just going to be an endless monologue from you on how you feel, what you want, what you're afraid of, OP?

Are you able to see women, at all? Hear us? Given any thought at all to girls and women and how we feel?

Wanting to opt out of what you think being male is doesn't mean you can become female. What parts of "being a boy" were you trying and failing at, in your eyes?

What did you have to do, or not do, to "live as a woman" sufficiently to obtain your GRC?

Thank you for trying to explain, that does help.

What I will say though is, being a woman often feels uncomfortable, painful and vulnerable. Most of us go through periods and many have complications, fibroids, endometriosis, flooding. Pregnancy and post birth complications. Breastfeeding, mastitis, breast cancer. Incontinence. Most of us have some experience of sexual assault. We know we’re often physically vulnerable or accompanied by those who are, children, elderly mothers etc. And so, it’s not bigoted to want our ‘safe’ spaces even when those might be an illusion.

So we’re not wielding our power, we’re protecting against our vulnerability.

I think then, that this feeling is why you should pause any journey or decision making and dig into that with therapy. Until you really understand this you won't know which path to follow. I don't and have never "felt like" a woman. I have experienced specific things associated with my sex like periods, sexual intercourse, gestation, childbirth as a woman but i know from speaking to others that we all had individual experiences of these things and while there are commonalities there is no "universal truth". If that is what you are looking for you will be disappointed. Because if you are a transitioning male, you can never have that and even if you could, for women that isn't a thing. Our identities are far more complex and multifaceted. You do you - but be careful not to chase something unobtainable such as the arguably pointless feeling of being a woman.

I wish for a future where people were supported to accept the bodies they are given, where autistic and abused children were either never traumatised in the first place, or given resources to work through that trauma rather than thinking their bodies need to be harmed.

I wish for a future where women were not seen as ‘lesser’ and a costume for men who get aroused by submission.

I think the only time I have a concept of feeling like a woman is when a man tries to tell me what one is.

Otherwise I'm just me. And as it goes, a woman.

I agree, no feeling is permanent, but sex change surgeries and hormones are.

AYoungTransWoman

Like those on here I wish you a safe and happy life.
I worry because you are going to be reliant on drugs for the rest of your life. With no-one really knowing what the effects are going to be.
I worry because if you are going to have the complete surgery top and bottom, especially bottom surgery about the lasting effects that it will have on you and the health implications should the bottom surgery go wrong (which it does, a lot).
And I worry for whomever you get in to a relationship with, because if the norm of what trans people are saying is true, that your relationship will be built on a lie.

Echo this.

You are brave to come on here OP (although the fact you asked the question the way you did no doubt you will be aware of the reputation this corner of MN has towards transpeople). Britain is terf island, and this is terf island HQ.

I wish you well as a woman OP.

Maybe if you are calling people 'terf' as a derogatory slur has I believe you have just used it here on this thread, you will get very little interaction from people who disagree with you.

This is so true!