Is there any future you'd accept for trans people?

[AYoungTransWoman]

Hello, I'm a young trans person who transitioned in my teens. I've been on hormones my entire adult life, have a GRC and will have Gender Reassignment Surgery imminently.

Is there any future you would accept for people like me who have gone through everything?

Why isn't it safe for a trans woman to use the male bathroom?

Are there any actual stats to prove that they get attacked ion the bathroom or isit just the feelz again?

Thank you.

I will also say, men who wish to come into the women’s toilet to assault women can and do just that. They don’t need to pretend to be trans and go through rigorous lifelong physical and social difficulties just to get away with it. A rapist is president in America. Men are getting away with this shit daily already.

Single use unisex toilet cubicles and gender neutral toilets (with separate male only urinals) so each can make their own choice. I’ve also seen a women’s only section, men’s only urinals and section of unisex stalls. I’ve been to many establishments with similar set ups to this and it’s all felt very safe. These establishments always have staff that are very clued up on women’s safety and happy to boot anyone making someone uncomfortable.

I don’t want OP to feel unsafe in a man’s toilet. However the fact other men could be dangerous to OP in such a space does not IMO entitle OP to women’s spaces nor is it women’s problem to solve. I had to send my male children into men’s toilets when they were over the age of 8 but yet we are supposed to believe that these places where primary school age boys have to go are fine for them but unsafe for grown men?! Come on

It just feels right. Like trying to be a boy felt like I was wearing that wrong shoe. It's not a great analogy but it's as close as I can get I think.

That stat is marketing on behalf on the industry.

There is no reliable research on regret rates and recent research suggests it's much higher than that.

For a start, you need to be really careful that you are talking about the same cohorts, and also be really clear - are you talking about a regret rate or a detransition rate?

Most research on regret rates or on detransition is done on people who started transitioning as adults, NOT on people who started transitioning in childhood.

The OP's position - having taken hormones for their entire adulthood - is entirely different to people who transition after their adult sexual function is well established in their birth sex.

I don't know the OP's medical history of course but from what little info we have here, they may well be a person who is at serious risk of losing the chance of ever having sexual function or sexual desire if they go through with Sex Reassignment Surgery. Especially for young people who have taken blockers from a young age and then hormones this is a significant risk. Surely you're against neutering trans people?

In addition, many of the studies on this are just really poor science. For example an oft-quoted study from London's adult Charring Cross adult clinic shows a 1% "detransition" rate, based on something like 3,000 clients, which sounds solid if you don't read the detail. But in fact they didn't talk to a single client. They only looked at records of people STILL ATTENDING THE CLINIC.

The researchers did an analysis of the language looking for words that might demonstrate regret.
But surely if you want a detransition rate you need to follow-up and see how many have detransitioned after, say, 5, 10 or 20 years time. What they actually have assessed for is more like an "instant regret rate" rather than anything approaching a "detransition rate". But despite this obvious gaping flaw, organisations like Stonewall, GLAAD and Mermaids have reported this figure as fact to vulnerable young people considering transition.

Blythly quoting such nonsense stats at someone who may be about to go though this is utterly irresponsible. Please do better.

I still live in hope that the universe will realise one day that it was meant to send me the legs and figure of Penny Lancaster rather than Mrs Potato Head and make the correct exchange.

Whilst like everyone I wish the OP well I'd also urge them not to join in with women's competitive sports. Being beaten in a race by a women who happens to be better than me on the day is fine. Being beaten every time by someone who will always have an unfair advantage in spite of how much they change their body around is not and renders the whole thing pointless.

I think another part of the issue behind men wanting transition is homophobia, and that it’s somehow now more acceptable for a man to transition and live as a woman than to be a gay man. I think that’s very sad too. I read an interesting article by an older gay man describing his childhood, and saying that if he was young now he and everyone around him would have been convinced he was trans, but because he was growing up before this was a big thing, he outgrew his interest in ultra feminine stuff and is now a happy healthy gay man.

I have young adult and teen children. I want them to be happy and healthy. To know that they are beautiful and perfect just as they are. To feel loved and form meaningful relationships, to have good, interesting jobs and achieve their potential, to have fun and in time, if they choose to have children themselves. I wish the same to you OP.

I hope that in your pursuit of what you believe will make you happy, you don’t ruin your health. That you don’t think “just one more thing” will finally fix you and that you are able to accept who you are and be at peace with that.

And I hope you have enough empathy for others to understand why you must not invade female only spaces.

What do you mean "posing as transwomen"?
You don't get to decide if someone is a Transwoman or not, there is no test to determine this

AYoungTransWoman have you done any research about the risks of sex assignment surgery outside of the trans advocacy orgs?

Has anyone spoken to you seriously about possible risks such as loss of sexual function and desire and the impact of that on a person emotionally and socially?

Please don't feel you have to answer me publicly, it's obviously a very personal subject. But please, do make sure you do some proper research so you know what you're getting into.

How does one tell the difference between a real trans woman and a person pretending to be trans? The pretence transcends both no? How does anyone tell the difference between a male who wishes us no harm to one who does?

Exactly. Basically, some posters are telling us that we should be ok with men pretending to be women. It's the men pretending to be men pretending to be women that we should be worried about! It's fucking ridiculous.

You were never "trying to be a boy" you were one, just as you are a man now.
I think you should consider what being a boy/girl/man/woman actually is, its nothing to do with clothes, hair, hobbies, likes or dislikes its just biology. How you live your life is up to you as long as it doesn't negatively impact others

Being a woman just feels normal
OR
being the person you are now feels normal?

Because 100% fact, you don’t actually know what being a woman feels like. Certainly no two women feel the same, but two women can be certain that they are both biological/scientific/XX chromosome/female women and share that sameness of feeling.

Women cannot know what it feels like to be a trans woman, so you share that same feeling with your trans peers.

All evidence from transwomen and gay men from their own testimony states that transwomen are perfectly safe in male spaces, the worst they get is a smirk.

And if males are not safe in male spaces due to male on male violence, why is that womens problem to solve? Females are not human shields for males in a dress. Advocate for third spaces!

But the argument has NEVER been about transwomen being 'safe', that's a smokescreen. Because if it were, they'd advocate for third spaces, instead they (apart from sincere transwomen like the OP) reject third spaces. Because the real reason they want in female spaces is validation. Being around females in these spaces gives their identity validation. It was NEVER about safety, that's an absolute lie.

And the fact that not one, not one incidence of assault on transwomen in the males has ever been reported (in contrast dozen of assaults on females by transwomen in female facilities has been reported) is notable. If any transwoman was ever assaulted in the males, they would rub our faces in it and NEVER let us forget it. It does not exist. The risk does not exist, and there has been zero assaults on transwomen in the males. It never was about safety, and we all know it!

Did you really just drop the ‘if men want to assault you they’ll do it anyway/don’t have to pretend to be trans’ line, straight out of the TRA handbook? So will burglars if they want to burgle your house, or doesn’t mean you stop locking your doors, do away with ring doorbells and all the other safeguarding measures put in place to try and stop something from happening in the first place.

It’s not even about being attacked, it’s about using a space that’s not meant for men. Period. I don’t think the lovely men in my life will attack anyone, I still don’t think they should use female bathrooms as their mere presence may make some women feel uncomfortable. How is that difficult to understand? I’d feel the same if they woke up tomorrow feeling ‘womanly’.

Again, we don’t know which ones are harmless from the ones with nefarious intent, so that means they ALL have to stay out. The bad ones, the nice ones, the trans ones.

Educate yourself on the basic principles of safeguarding.

Oh FGS. I just knew this "argument" was going to surface at some point.

Men are going to attack you in the toilets anyway! They don't need to pretend to be trans!
Honestly @Gonnaenoe that really really isn't the gotcha logical rationale that you think it is. Seriously.

"I will also say, men who wish to come into the women’s toilet to assault women can and do just that"

Let's work this logic then.

Your position with this is that it is actually NOT safe for those male people to be in the female single sex spaces. So, then, why are they accessing these spaces?

I understand that you support female people having single sex spaces and for third spaces to be used. But this sound bite that I have quoted is one that activists repeat to attempt to use false logic to convince people that some male people should be allowed to use female single sex spaces. They say this statement plus others such as 'how do you police it', 'how do you know' etc.

It is designed to stop discussion.

Agree

This is not womens problem to solve

I'm just going to point out that under the rules of Self ID and of gender fluidity that was so vaunted and pushed for by the TRA lobby, there is no such thing as "posing as a trans woman".
Unless you are saying that the trans lobby is being hypocritical?

It seems to me that you are saying that these people are the wrong kind of trans woman and that you are disassociating from them.

I wish I could give you a hug and say you are perfect the way you are.

the issue I have with what you say is ‘being a women just feels normal’.

I don’t feel like a woman. I just am one. I don’t have an intrinsic sense of womanhood in my head. When you say ‘trying to be a boy didn’t feel like me’ - what do you mean? I never tried to be a girl. I just am one. I am just me. I can dress how I like, act however I like. I don’t act to a stereotype. I just act as myself. Some days I dress up and wear makeup. Some days I don’t. I don’t perform womanhood. I worry that you should just be yourself and not worry about the fact you are the male sex. You are no doubt perfect just the way you are. Going through major surgery will not change who you are.

I accept you fully for who you are and would welcome you with open arms into whichever spaces you occupy. Trans people have enriched my life and I am sure you do the same to those around you.

L with the T here- always have been and always will be supportive of those in my community. I wish you strength in what can be a very terf heavy crowd here! It is an echo chamber and in my experience people irl are not as bold with their declarations of discrimination.

Wishing you peace and true acceptance in your future!

I am very happy to accept you as a "transwoman", for you to dress as you please, to use whatever name you like and to express yourself in whatever way you see fit. I bear you no ill will and I want you to be able to live your life happily.

I am happy to support whatever treatment you may require on the NHS, as long as you are a consenting adult and your doctors think it is necessary.

What I cannot do is pretend that I think you are actually a woman or agree that you can have access to single sex spaces for women. And while I am happy to use your preferred pronouns if and when I remember to do so, I don't want to be told off for misgendering you if I happen to forget.

Agree with the last few posters.
The qualifier for being trans is to say you are trans, no other commitment is necessary. Them's the rules. Bigot if disagree etc....
The thing is women said the was open to abuse from the get go, and it got abused a lot. Now you want to change the rules? You should have listened and adjusted at the start.
Trans Rapists Are Trans Women

DH would rather pee himself than make a woman feel uncomfortable which is why despite being no threat to women he would never use a womans toilet.
We know NAMALT but we don't know which ones.

Where is the discrimination on this thread?