They / them at work

[pootlefump]

I've just written a long post and it's disappeared so in brief - how do you deal with staff who are they/them at work? I will really struggle to call a very obvious biological male 'they'. I also can't loose my job and do want to be respectful but also can't change my view on this nonsense !

Leave Brighton now and again, you’d be less shocked.

By that logic, there’s no way to tell if anyone in any public space is OK or a murderer.

Again, if a man wants to attack a woman, a stranger, in loos where anyone might come in, they’re much more likely to use other ways.

I am afraid you are totally wrong and have swallowed the idea that it is just a matter of inter-personal kindness.

Of course people should be free to pursue happiness in their lives, and good luck to them. But the demands of trans activists to access single-sex spaces directly threatens women’s safety and dignity. This is not to say the threat is necessarily coming from trans people - but if you open up the idea that anybody can access female-only spaces then you allow it for everyone, including predatory men.

Of course men can attack women in other scenarios, and male violence cannot be eliminated completely. But this is a not a reason to make it even easier and provide more opportunities for them to do so by doing away with sex-segregated spaces.

Why do we even have separate provision then?

We have female only spaces because lots of women and girls want them.

If you don’t, that’s fine, but you can’t handwave away our consent.

One no is a veto, consent isn’t decided by a committee.

No males in female spaces* ever, not even the pretty ones, not even your friends.

*unless they are under the age of 7 and accompanied by their female guardian.

Of course there isn't a way to tell if a random man is a murderer. How's that relevant?

Because we don't know which individual is a risk, society implements the basic safeguarding steps that it can, including single sex spaces.

‘May as well leave the door open, seeing as burglars usually come through a window’

🤦‍♀️

Not quite the same thing, then. You have experience of being excluded because you refuse to accept trans people as valid.

Could you please explain what you mean by ‘not valid’?

Old fashioned...what bollocks

Right?

Funnily enough I believe the opposite is happening, that the genderish terms of the last 15 or so years seem quite quaint already. The Gen Alphas I know think it’s all non(binary)sensical and are rejecting gender ideology entirely.
Older teens are deleting pronouns from Insta bios faster than you can say she/they.

As an example, ‘Womxn’ now looks like it came out of a 2018 time capsule!

Not at all. I accept them entirely in terms of what they want to wear, do, what name they want. That doesn't mean they've changed sex. I have been excluded by the people who made single sex spaces mixed sex.

Working with people doesn't mean they know their gender, though - what if they work remotely and the poster has never met them?

Let's try not to get caught up in the 'offended by everything' nonsense that also goes along with the preferred pronoun ridiculousness.

Belichtofalicht, do you think we should have separate toilets and changing rooms for men and women at all? If so, why?

I’ve been quietly delighted by the tone of threads recently, it’s not just the GC boards any longer, seems like common sense is returning 🙏

I have nothing to fear from the overwhelming majority of men so do you think we should just make all spaces mixed sex? if not, why not? Tw obviously have nothing to fear from the majority of men if they used the male toilets then?

If you believe TW have changed sex, they should be in women's sports. If you don't, they should not be in women's toilets. I think your position is completely illogical.

You're blaming the wrong people though.

It's the extremists and the perverts and the professionally offended who have created this issue, and now there is no trust at all and trying to force more tolerance has the opposite effect.

I'm in Ireland and this situation is also visible in regards to asylum seekers.
Of course there was always plenty who were against them but there was also a lot of tolerance, now because there are so many and no end to the numbers arriving, along with increased violence and crime and fears due to the fact that many are unvetted or don't have any passport... and the fact that if people express any concern at all about it they're shut down as being racist that people are becoming even less tolerant.

People try to make sensible arguments, most not blaming the asylum seekers at all but instead the government which has facilitated this mess....but they're shut down without a proper discussion being facilitated and instead told "no you're just racist"...and the less people are allowed to express their sensible and valid views it breeds anger, intolerance and a kind of defiance which actually encourages racism where before there wasn't any.

and it's completely ingenious tonsayvthey have no where to go to the toilet. They can use the male toilets because they're male.

Yes, you are correct. There is no way to tell if someone is a potential murderer. If there was, we could stop murders before they happen.

So we do the next best thing which is apply safeguarding and use what we do know about particularly male behaviour to try and avoid murders.

I wouldn't have any respect for someone 'with they/them pronouns', as I'd think they were an utter tosser.
I would behave 'respectfully' at work by not sharing this opinion with them.
I would avoid pronouns in their presence, and use standard English if they were out of earshot.

Yes, there isn't.
Which is why women are often cautious in certain environments or public spaces. We had enough to be worried about but often did feel like we had some safe spaces, and now those are being eroded.

Could you please explain what you mean by ‘not valid’?

Yes please @WaitingForMojo

What am I supposed to find "valid" about people who claim to be the opposite sex?

So much confusion and lies to accommodate a small number of narcissistic individuals. Use the name. I don't buy into this crap at all.

If what you say is right, then the Wikipedia article in the case is completely wrong. You should let them know.

Yes, good luck with that. I wouldn't rely on Wikipedia for your unbiased factual explanations.

You clearly know very little about this case that you haven't picked up second hand from TRAs and biased sources.

You really should do better research. They were not charged with a ‘hate crime’. They were charged with, and found guilty of murder. It was acknowledged at sentencing that Justice Yip described the murder as "sadistic in nature" and, referring to Ratcliffe, "where a secondary motive was hostility towards Ghey because of her transgender identity.

Exactly correct. These children had a kill list of about 5 people, and the girl had made yet another one while in the youth detention facility, which she had added the people caring for her to.

The "transphobia" idea was entirely based on the private messages the boy sent dehumanising Brianna Ghey as he did about others. He wasn't ever expecting anyone to read them. I imagine horrible comments like his are fairly common in teenagers' private social media, as we know they have all kinds of prejudices against people they perceive as "other". I think it's extremely naive to think they are especially predictive of being the kind of sadistic murderer these two were.