I had the pleasure of speaking to Roderic on my doorstep yesterday.
Husband had opened the door and come to get me, so as I walked to the door I greeted him with a very friendly smile and hello and told him I have a question. He was all smiles until he heard it. "So, what is a woman?" His face froze and I could practically see the cogs whizzing around in his brain. I had to repeat it, and he asked “you mean in terms of trans people?” “No”, says I, “this is nothing to do with trans people. Just what is a woman?”
Roderic replies “A woman is someone who says they identify as a woman.” “That’s a circular reference, what is it to identify as a woman? Is it lipstick? A dress? Long hair?” He mentions the GRA, refers to someone with a GRA being a woman in the eyes of the law, so I asked “ok, so take away the GRA, what is a woman in, say, Iraq?“ He had no answer and looked like he just wanted to tell me to fuck off.
I had my fun seeing him tie himself up in knots trying to work out how to answer (how do they still not have a stock answer?), but I needed him to listen to my concerns. So I laid them out. I am tired of the rights of women and girls constantly being discussed in terms of trans rights. We are our own entity and we have our own concerns and we deserve to have them heard. I told him to stop dismissing us as right wing, bigots, religious fundamentalists, etc. I’m atheist, I campaigned for repeal, for marriage equality. I’m a left wing feminist and I have concerns and nobody is listening. I wanted him to see it isn’t that we think trans people are inherently a danger, it’s that the door is being left wide open for any man with ill intent. I urged him to see it isn’t beyond the realms of possibility - look at swimming coaches, scout leaders, priests - for someone to direct their lives in a way that gives them access to victims. And it’s not like a man even needs a GRA to access spaces, we’re now being trained to say nothing when we see someone who doesn’t belong in our spaces. It used to be that ‘good men stay away so bad men stand out’, but now it’s a free-for-all and the gatekeeping feminists had built is being dismantled brick by brick.
I referenced my 7 year old daughter and said I want to let her go into a changing room without fear that a male bodied person will expose themselves to her. I want my mother to be able to ask for a woman to care for her without being expected to allow a male bodied person to give her intimate care. I reminded him he is a green councillor, he is well versed on biology and what is needed for a species to thrive. I reminded him why women are nervous of any strange man, how our concerns were widely discussed following the murder of Ashling Murphy and it was taken as a given that men are inherently stronger than women and that fact alone puts us at risk. I referenced my lesbian friends who have been driven from their own spaces because they won’t accept a male bodied person as a lesbian.
I repeated over and over that he needs to listen to women and to our concerns. I speak to the mams in the school yard, I speak to my friends and my family, none of us are comfortable with women’s spaces being erased. It may not be a hot topic for voters now, but something terrible is going to happen because of it and there will be an uprising.
I actually felt like he was listening to me. At the beginning of the conversation I think he could have easily dismissed me, but when I got personal and told him my real concerns I do feel like he listened. I will be following up with an email to set out my concerns. I don’t expect him to change his stance, he is too far ingrained, but I wonder if it’ll make him think twice before dismissing objectors out of hand.