All the bad things JKR has done. A history.

[WandaWomblesaurus73]

I think this is a good time to go over all the bad things JKR has done (as started on the did he or didn't he Jon Stewart thread)

Earlier, I went into the bathroom and I noticed JK Rowling had moved the cat litter tray so I stood in a little bit of cat poop.

JKR always take the last seat on the train

She makes your glasses steam up when wearing a face mask.

Climate change.

All. Her. Fault.

JKR stopped me winning the lottery and so I have to work tomorrow.

I'm pretty sure she's turning my roots grey too. She really has it in for me for some reason.

She's making me seriously consider enabling Siri on my phone just so I can say "lumos" to it, and I never even use the flipping thing as a torch.

Dry January was JKR's idea.

JKR drained the batteries in the TV remote and I don't have spares

She's so evil. It's her fault my lunchtime crackers were reduced to crumbs in my bag!

JKR wakes up my puppy every morning at 2am and then refuses to let him out for a wee

It’s her fault I am a zombie

JKR just made me eat leftover Indian takeaway even though I started dieting yesterday - it’s 10.55pm! Jesus! Who does that!!!?

@Yorkshirelass04

She's ginger.

Yes... who do you think Macavity the Mystery Cat was based on, hmm?

She brings mice into my bedroom at night and makes the cat chase them.

And she ate all of my giant white toblerone in one evening. Selfish cow

She ate the last two slices of delicious seedy homemade bread for supper and now I have to use crappy supermarket bread for my brekkie.

She killed Fred off instead of Percy.

She named a character “Arsenius Jigger” which just sounds like a spell to make your arse jiggle.

Also I have to pee but my cat is on my lap and JK said it’s not alright to disturb the cat.
Thanks a lot, Jo.

Forget Agatha, it was JKR all along.....

She's made a hole in my absolute favourite pair of socks and I don't want to throw them away but can't be arsed to sew them up. A small patch of the sole of my foot gets cold whenever I wear them regardless. The sneaky villainy of it!

Also, she's the mastermind behind the clingfilm ripping and a tiny piece getting stuck while you roll it around, making it impossible to get a piece off without resorting to a knife to scrape off several layers in sheer frustration.

Some of her books have got actually nasty people in them.

Whenever I can't find the end of the Sellotape, it's always JK Rowling that I curse.

JKR is responsible for the sinking of Atlantis.

JKR is responsible for those coughs on ‘Who Wants To Be A Millionaire’.

JKR is responsible for taking single socks out your dryers.

JKR made Wagon Wheels smaller than they were when I was a kid.

AND she made them taste a bit yuck.

@Shodan

JKR made Wagon Wheels smaller than they were when I was a kid.

AND she made them taste a bit yuck.

You won’t believe what she’s reduced creme eggs to!

She has BoJo under the Imperious Curse

Thankfully Sir Chris Whitty is immune to her Dark Magic.

JKR poisoned my children's minds against school dinners, so now I'm up at the crack, creating moorish boxes of delicious, nutritious food that they bring home & I throw in the bin.

I curse thee!
shakes lunchbox

JKR killed Cock Robin.

She started that fire in Pudding Lane.

She goes round putting the leaves on the railway lines.

And she changed the recipe of chocolate in Britain, so it's now full of palm oil.

JKR made me walk around town with my leggings inside out.

Cancel her now!