All the bad things JKR has done. A history.

[WandaWomblesaurus73]

I think this is a good time to go over all the bad things JKR has done (as started on the did he or didn't he Jon Stewart thread)

Earlier, I went into the bathroom and I noticed JK Rowling had moved the cat litter tray so I stood in a little bit of cat poop.

She made all my Christmas chocolates diasapparate. Into my stomach

@Whatiswrongwithmyknee

She cast a spell and made me gain half a stone over Xmas. I hate her.

I've definitely been hit with the Engorgio charm.

JKR wore my favourite wool socks, then put them back in my sock drawer unwashed. I didn’t even notice until they warmed up. I was already on the bus to work then.

I can't shelf the Robert Galbraith books next to the J K Rowling books because G ... R (duh) which has set my COD off big time!!!

I saw JKR with the Devil!!!

@Rhannion

JKR ate my last Rolo!

Omg. That's unforgivable. What A Bitch.

She makes it drop below freezing overnight on days when she knows I'll be in a rush next morning and won't have time to defrost the windscreen. Then she hides the scraper AND antifreeze spray every bastarding time so that I have to use the spatula from the kitchen again. Utter cow.

JKR is responsible for the weak areas that occur in men's socks and boxer shorts. She has invested heavily in the companies that produce them and knows how to make holes appear and make them fall apart in less than a year........hence why she loves the Christmas period 👍

She made me read all her books when I was in a seriously abusive relationship and foolishly I gained the courage from them to stand up to my abuser when, in his own words, I 'should have just behaved a little more like how he told me to ' Obviously I really messed up there and he won. Oh, no wait, he didn't. Silly JKR for making me fight back!

She gave me hope that we could, actually, overthrow the patriarchy.

Absolute monster.

She's ginger.

It's JKR's fault when the queue you are in is the slowest one.

One of my fingernails always ends up snapping on the very same day I buy new nail polish to try out.

Coincidence? I think not, it's that JK Rowling's doing

JK Rowling ate my hamster

It was JKR who asked the seagulls to use my car as a loo after having spent £30 having it cleaned.

It was JKR who gave me Covid.

It was JKR who left all the pink and orange roses.

It was JKR who encouraged my dog to chew my new shoes.

I’m actually fearful of typing her name. I think she is worse than the one who can’t be named.

She stubbed the toes on both my feet.

She let the dogs out

She sneaked into my wardrobe and tangled up all the hangers.

I just repeated saying “lumos” to Siri and nothing exciting happened at all. I’m blaming JKR rather than Mrs Wooster or myself for that matter

When you get a really silly substitution in your online shopping that you can't possibly use, that's JKR. Always. She does it all with magic, because, as we all know, she's a witch. She thinks it's hilarious.

I was given a box of chocs for my birthday, left them unopened on the kitchen table. Days later when I came to open the box, discovered they had been opened already and half were missing! JK must have Apparated into my house and eaten my birthday chocolates. Unforgivable.

We ♥️ you so much Jo!

No wait… it turns the light on! There is magic after all

@RufustheFloralmissingreindeer

To be fair to JKR coconut milk and salmon sounds like a vile combination

I won’t know til i try 😀

Its the BBC good foods fault if its mank….

No it isn’t! It’s JKR’s…

And the 2008 financial crash wasn’t due to the banks derivative trading dodgy packaged mortgages…..you guessed it…. It was JKR.

No it isn’t! It’s JKR’s…

Shit yeah!

I’ll break it to the children gently