Do you think society (and actually feminist quite a lot) are conspiring to gas light women?

[WhatWitchcraftIsThis]

We constantly tell women they shouldn't be afraid of men, but actually they're dangerous. I would not leave my children with a man other than my husband, I don't tell people that but it's true. I trust my husband but even then... I'm always aware what the statistics say. I know what has happened to me, what has happened to friends. Maybe instead of laughing at women for "seeing rapist and pedophiles around every corner" we should accept that men are dangerous and that if men were a another species of animal you'd tell women to stay the fuck away from it. It's dangerous.

1 out of 20 children is sexually abused according to the NSPCC working. is 1 out of 20 such a small number? If something was going around to 1 out of 20 children in your kid's school, I bet you would vaccinate against it.

I'm not saying they are innately dangerous dueling just that they are dangerous. It probably is just socialization. But I actually think we're going the other way, reports I've read recently (including the anal sex thread) where many teenagers believe a girl "deserves" rape because she led a guy on or he bought her a meal.. I just think things are going to get worse for women in general before they get better.

Sorry Idni, I don't want to be rude, but you seem to not be understanding.

Men are dangerous is kind of the whole point of this.

AnnieLobeseder yes absolutely. 90% of all those murders in 2012 were by a male suspect.

I think you have to break down that 1 in 20 number though -- not all children are equally at risk, some are more vulnerable than others. If it were possible to find out the stats for children similar to your own (which is probably not possible) you might find the risk is much lower than that.

Anyway to use your analogy -- yes I might vaccinate, because there is no harm in vaccinating. But I do think there are disadvantages to shunning men entirely so it's not really the same.

"In 2012 there were 551 recorded homocides in in England and Wales.
171 of the victims were female, 380 were male.
78 of the female victims were killed by a partner or ex-partner."

how many of the 380 men were killed by other men?

how many of the 171 female victims were killed by men?

oh sorry - you already answered.

"1 out of 20 children is sexually abused according to the NSPCC"

is this the reported cases?

I was abused as a child and only spoke about it for the first time last year. i am 44.

I'm not sure how that number came about it was on their website dueling, tbh it seemed on the low side to me. When sex abuse cases come out and numbers like 1400 girls get thrown about it seems incredibly low.

No worries. In case you would like the breakdown...
87% of the female victims were killed by male suspects
96% of the male victims were killed my male suspects

I tend to agree with duelling that the - in 20 unfortunately does joy necessarily reflect an accurate picture for most children. Also, I think we can agree that this does not translate into 1 in 20 men being abusers. As i understand it, it's a sad fact that when children are sexually assaulted it is usually by a serial abuser ie if someone does it once, they will sadly probably do it again.

So again, assuming the most men are dangerous is ridiculous and counter productive.

Do you have brothers? Sons?

I leave my kids with men all the time.

Fact: More humans are killed by other humans, than by any other animal.

Therefore, should we be wary of all humans? Should we treat all humans as killers?

This is weird but I've always thought women choosing to live with men is like those men you hear about who choose to live with bears.
Yes they are nice and you trust them but they could turn at any time with no apparent warning and if they do on the whole your f*ked because generally they are much stronger than you.

I guess you are right statistically , but as a mother of 2 sons I find this thread incredibly sad

"men are dangerous"

why not say men are statistically more likely to be dangerous than women

Fact: More humans are killed by other humans, than by any other animal.

Fact more humans are killed by male humans really though. And that isn't even including war which is men murdering other men as order by male politicians. I see women has a very slight risk statistically actually.

Men are like bears, I quite like that purple

I'm also a mother of sons and while I plan on them being lovely kind humans I can't guarantee others are making quite the same effort. As a mother my fear for my daughter is much more real.

Brave, no I wouldn't leave my children with any of my male relatives.

do you trust your daughter with your sons?

That's it - it's always "not my son" when the statistical danger of men and / or the value of educating men to not be violent is discussed. But it's always someone's son who is dangerous.

The 1 in 20 is a serious underestimate. And that is of girls. A female throughout her childhood and adult life is "lucky" if she escapes being raped by a man.

You must live a very sad life. I leave my ds with male relatives and would not blink twice. Dh is sahd and none of my friends have ever had any issues with him spending time with their children. They actively seek him out and he is part of the same emergency swapping of children group as any of the women. We do babysitting with a other couple and usually her dh comes to babysit as she is an early to bed kind of women. Never occurred to me to have an issue. Dh and I take turns to babysit for them.

And no, in case you are wondering, I don't feel in the slightest bit like I am taking unnecessary risks with my child.

uptheairy I haven't raised my sons yet, they're little and cute and annoying and (currently) not the least bit dangerous. They could be horrible people one day, I don't know. But I'm going to attempt to raise them right is all I can promise. I wouldn't take it personally if someone made generalised comments about men however if that's what you mean, or if they didn't one day ask them to babysit.

My dd is older than my sons potato and too little herself to be left in charge of anyone!

Statistics are one thing, but aren't generalised comments about a whole gender something we try to avoid? Trust earned on an individual level.

You must live a very sad life

well yes, I suppose I do. But has it occurred to you that maybe I have a pretty good idea that they aren't safe to leave my children with? So patronizing "how sad" comments aren't particulary helpful.

Femin, you still haven't backed up that statement. We are all agreeing that sexual assault is a huge issue but I am not buying the argument that almost every woman is raped at some point. I want backed up facts please, not hysteria.

And frankly, what concerns me the most about sexual assault is how often it happens in PUBLIC with no one, including women, objecting. Most of the women I know who have been victims of sexual assault it's usually been at a nightclub (inappropriate grabbing or attempts to get off), on the street (random men commenting on body parts or even just reaching out for a little feel), on on public transport ( masturbating) etc. When my breasts were groped by a man on oxford street I was told by the female friend I was with to stop making a scene ....

Perhaps we should avoid all women too as clearly they can't be trusted.

You may Indi, personally I think it masks the problem #NAMALT