Rape within marriage

[tabouleh]

Yes unashamedly a thread about a thread.

It is like entering the bloody twilight zone over there.

Jeez there are MNers basically caring more about OP's husbands right to sex rather than believing OP and helping her.

Totally understand if this gets deleted for being a thread about a thread - but if it gets more of the feminist viewpoints onto that thread then great.

I suppose I do not see why you should have to divert your energies responding to such negativity.

I think perhaps Beachcomber was onto something, your rape may be too close to home for some of the offensive posters, they prefer the stranger/danger aspect.

I hope your husband realises the magnitude of what he has done.

I am glad the feminist section is helpful, and you will survive this!!

No, Portofino, you're right, she doesn't sound like a victim. A victim is involved in a negative drama triangle. She is quite clearly within the positive triangle, and although vulnerable she is quite clearly able to remedy the situation without negative drama.

You, on the other hand, appear to be wrangling for a role as "persecutor". Do you like drama?

crosspost - independetly of SGM I have also reported the post.

I feel that it clearly constitues a personal attack on Anchor. Attacking someone who has been raped and asked for help and stating that they are "enjoying the attention".

Sorry but this "suffering" is too much! Anchor is not suffering - not from this morning anyhow. She has 100 MNetters reinforcing her belief that her DH is to blame for everything.

Oh, another x post, also reported

I don't understand any of this.

Anchor's discussion of her current mental health issues on the other thread was met with a "pull yourself together" as well, at least in the initial bit that I saw at work.

I am honestly totally baffled by a lot of what is happening on here at the moment.

Portofino - what a vile disgusting hate-filled personal attack.

It certainly says a lot about you.

Sickening.

FFS Portofino - are you pissed or something? She has said that she knows that she has no libido, she knows it's hard on her DH. She has not blamed him for everything at all. All she's blaming him for is for fucking her when she said she wasn't interested.

I think you clearly have some ishoos here - does your DH rape you fairly often or something and you've rationalised it away? Because that is the only reason I can think of that you're being so utterly vile on this thread.

Well I will have you know that I am generally lovely and could find plenty of MNetters to back that up. But sorry - not buying this one.

FWIW, I honestly believe that Anchor is in hard place at the moment, and have the utmost sympathy for that. But don't agree with this thread.

There is a thread in relationships which asks:

"Have you ever had sex without your consent?".

Portofino wrote "sometimes you just put up with it, though not in the mood and vice versa".

Portofino - is this why you hate "modern feminism" - because you are putting up with things which if you were a feminist you'd have to admit were not ok.

Please reach out for help if you need it.

I was wondering the same, the persecutor is often a victim in different circumstances.

Seriously Portofino, is there something you need help with? You can have some sympathy too if there is, you don't need to attack for attention.

"But sorry - not buying this one." -

What do you mean by this?

Are you trying to call troll - you know the MN troll policy. Don't post here if you don't believe Anchor - go and report your concerns to MNHQ FFS.

Or are you saying that you don't think what happened to Anchor is rape and that her DH has a "right" to sex?

I do think Portofino needs help. Maybe Anchor's situation is just too close to home, if she admitted that Anchor was a victim then she would have to look at her own circumstances.

I think she should start her own thread, and not get in the way of Anchor getting help.

I am not persecuting anyone. Just giving my opinion.

On the other thread, I was asking a question out of interest, because i don't believe that NOONE ever does it just to please their partner once in a while. Please tell me if I am wrong. I do mean as part of a normal loving relationship.

I am off to bed now.

Anchor,

I don't know if you have posted on the mental health threads, but there are women on there who have been through / are going through what you are dealing with (re depression/panic attacks etc) who are wonderful and supportive, if you aren't posting there already then it is worth thinking about. Whether a one-off or for ongoing support, they are lovely

I wish you luck with your conversation/s with your DH, I am fervently hoping that he realises that what he did was utterly appalling, and that you can get through this.

I am really disturbed by this whole discussion.

I can't think of anything more useful to write at the moment.

portofino, your input on this thread seems very out of character

portofino, are you some sort of frustrated saddo who wishes you'd been a barrister? Because your cross-questioning of Portofino is very unpleasant. She doesn't have to justify herself to you. You are being repeatedly aggressive to someone who you KNOW is very distressed. Shame on you.