@Mounjaropen @Goldleafcat
Thanks both.
She told me that everyone at the event had expressed worries about me and said I didn't look good - my mother, my aunt, a family friend. I did approach the aunt afterwards for clarification and she said that, whilst I was perhaps a little thinner than her personal preference, I didn't look unhealthy or older than my years. My sister approached her, it would seem, mining for matching opinions. My mother, when I discussed it with her a week later, said I didn't look an unhealthy weight although she did feel I was a bit 'drawn' looking. I said that was probably just my 44 year old face, visible at last.
Tbh, I do look more lined but I'll take that over the 35 previous years of looking like a fucking cabbage patch doll.
Having said that, my BIL told me that two older gents at the event approached he and DSis to ask how old I was - their guesses ranged from late 20s to early 30s. This was just before the intervention- it may have pushed DSis over the edge a bit.
@Mounjaropen - you gave two possibilities for the situation here and, actually, I think it's both at the same time.
My sister has always been the thinner one, my some margin. However, for the majority of our adult life, she has been obese and I have been far more obese (what used to be called morbid). I started MJ and she was curious and supportive, then started herself when I reported back how effective it was. I had about 6 months on her (and, if honest, made far more lifestyle changes than she did). Thus, I have lost around 9 st and she lost a not inconsiderable 3 or 4 - she is now far slimmer but still very visibly overweight. She looks great, her style is second is none and she has a far prettier face than me, but she is now considerably heavier than me for the first time in her life.
I do think jealousy is part of it. She stopped MJ after the price hikes, put a lot back kn, went on again half heartedly and then stopped and is now taking 'reta' (god knows what) from some guy she knows, despite my cautions about that. I say this not to be unkind, but to explain her potential mindset, insofar as how much she is willing to risk to lose weight. I think this is at the heart of the salmon/running issue as well - she doesn't have a healthy lifestyle and I genuinely dont believe can conceive of healthy food and exercise as having any benefits other than weight loss. Good health and strength, regardless of appearance, don't register at all as a motivating factor. So what possible reason could I be doing those things for if i wasnt still on a diet? And so, all this is a long winded way of saying yes, I suppose she is jealous. But I doubt she's fully aware of that.
I do look different - much better in most ways, but possibly worse in terms of aging. I have that slightly baggy face look that I've been told can sometimes settle after prolonged maintenance. Or maybe not - who knows? I'm fit, I'm strong and I'm not going back. But I can certainly see how that might be a bit of a concern at first glance, particularly to the older family members - my aunt has lost a shedload of weight, involuntarily, due to ill health so I can see why 'lean' may not be her preference, for example. DSis, unused to the concept of health divorced from weight loss, could genuinely believe I'm still dieting - she can't get her head around the idea of strength training putting lbs on for example. And if I lost more, despite being quite comfortably in the healthy range, I think I would indeed look unwell. But, as explained to everyone, again and again, I'm happy with my weight and I'm done.
But long story short - fuck it. My DP says I look good, my best friends all say I look great and one possibly partially sighted older gent at a shindig thought I was 29. So I'll live.