I’m going to upset people with this.. tell me your thoughts.

[Jingle23]

I just need to get this off my chest and see if others feel the same.
I work full-time and do everything I can to provide for my children. We don’t have much spare money, I bring home just over 2k and partner just over 3k a month. We have a mortgage but we often feel like were going without so they don’t miss out.
What’s been bothering me is seeing how different things can look for other families, even when they’re not working. I know someone personally who doesn’t work and isn’t relying on family for financial help, yet still seems able to manage a car on finance, holidays abroad - taking 3 children to Spain in the 6 weeks holidays, and everyday costs that I struggle with.
I’m not judging them at all, and I know every situation is different. I just feel really frustrated that I work full-time, pay my way, and still don’t feel like I’m any better off.
It’s made me question whether working hard always actually translates into a better standard of living anymore.
Does anyone else feel like this, or am I just having a wobble?

Attention-seeking title. Yawn-worthy post. Put it in your blog.

You couldn’t figure that out without posting on here?

People spend their money on different things. None of us go to the hairdresser I cut everyone's hair myself, goodness knows how much that would cost now with 3 teenage girls.
Company car so no costs there.
We are having a big holiday to new york this year which is costing us quite a lot, if I didn't budget our money we wouldn't be able to it.
We chose where our money goes and what's important to us.
Some people are very good at looking after their money, especially if there is a limited amount.

Tedious isn't it.

A lot of people get thousands a month from benefits.

To get thousands you’d have to have very high rent, multiple disability in one family.

Maybe if you live in London with multiple severely disabled kids which is not a life anyone would wish for but the average family on benefits definitely don't

Some people are so unpleasant on MN. Even if you disagree with the OP, is there any need to type this stuff?

You see I find OPs like this “unpleasant”

So will respond accordingly.

Someone who says they get their nails an hair done regularly but can’t afford to buy an ice cream for their children?

I was on benefits for a long time and now work fulltime and earn just under the national average in an expensive part of the country, I can assure you, I am MUCH better off now I'm working! And I'm about to do something I never could have done on benefits, buy a house!

On benefits I did manage to go on several holidays a year by taking the ferry, self catering and choosing the location based on what I could afford, nothing else. My suggestion to you is learn how to live within your means, prioritise properly and stop complaining!

I’m sort of with OP

It could be that the family of benefits have just received a very large inheritance, which may explain all the holidays.

I’m slightly disappointed at the comments that having hair and nails done are ‘luxuries’. Firstly, I think women who work hard and look after young children should be able to spend some of their hard-earned wages on themselves. How many times have I read about men going off on expensive lads’ trips? It’s also considered normal for men to spend thousands on expensive hobbies like golf, triathlon and gaming rigs. But a woman getting her hair and nails done so she doesn’t look like a scruff for work? Omg the audacity.

But it’s not personal or targeting you or any specific individual. Your nasty comment was to the OP and uncalled-for. But I see from other threads that this is your style so I won’t bother saying any more, as I doubt self-reflection is your thing.

Someone who says they can’t afford to buy their kids an incream but in the same breath says they get their nails done and hair done every 8 weeks? Well yes, I’m surprised they’re employed 🤷‍♀️

Apologies if that is not in keeping with #BeKind

Agree...everyone we know seems to have the latest whizz bang car , but dig a bit deeper and the bank actually owns them . The people are paying a second mortgage to drive them and are often restricted in mileage etc . Give me my 13 year old car that I can do what I want with, any day of the week !

Congratulations on getting off benefits and buying your own home thats a huge achievement x

@ChickenBananaBanana same. It's glorious money.

When she's complaining that she apparently can't even afford ice cream for her children?

You also don't look like a 'scruff' just because you don't get your hair and/or nails done professionally.

Seriously, you don't know they were mocking you?

OP focus on your family and don’t worry about other people’s money. Most people who don’t work and are legitimately relying on benefits will struggle financially and have to make careful choices when spending money. But bear in mind there are also people claiming fraudulently, and it is these people who make it look like a life on benefits is financially better than working.

Of course people can spend money on hair and nails. Thats not an issue. The point is that she’s spending money on hair and nails and then complaining that she doesn’t have money for other things. The vast majority of people have to prioritise their spending. Very few people can afford every single thing they want.
I can afford farm trips with my kids and to buy them ice creams. I can’t afford to have my nails done, or to have my hair done every 8 weeks. My priorities are different to the OPs.
(Oh and I don’t look like a ‘scruff’. My hair and nails are perfectly neat and tidy and well cared for).

If you are thinking of Robert Jenrick's claims you should listen to Radio 4's More or Less this week which corrects his lies maths.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/w3ct998w

I don't disagree with you tbh. We are on less than 5K maybe around 4K a month but I can see that as well. We are not in a high bracket with a lot of disposable income and everything hoes to childcare/ kids classes/Mortgage and literally nothing left afterwards. I dont think we would be better on UC, but I feel a bit envious of mums that could go part time and then claim most childcare costs from the UC, holiday camps 90% (or similar) all paid for, discounts on various days out etc etc. IT doesn't really apply to me personally but rent on a council house is much different than private rent especially in places like London, Bath and so on.

As for your situation its probably a bit of budgeting problem but you are not entirely wrong in what you are saying!

What's snobby about "Council House"?

As soon as you pay your mortage off you own the house.

That poster has been the same throughout!