I’m going to upset people with this.. tell me your thoughts.

[Jingle23]

I just need to get this off my chest and see if others feel the same.
I work full-time and do everything I can to provide for my children. We don’t have much spare money, I bring home just over 2k and partner just over 3k a month. We have a mortgage but we often feel like were going without so they don’t miss out.
What’s been bothering me is seeing how different things can look for other families, even when they’re not working. I know someone personally who doesn’t work and isn’t relying on family for financial help, yet still seems able to manage a car on finance, holidays abroad - taking 3 children to Spain in the 6 weeks holidays, and everyday costs that I struggle with.
I’m not judging them at all, and I know every situation is different. I just feel really frustrated that I work full-time, pay my way, and still don’t feel like I’m any better off.
It’s made me question whether working hard always actually translates into a better standard of living anymore.
Does anyone else feel like this, or am I just having a wobble?

Well it's council property so not hers? You can't compare that with owning your house and paying a mortgage.

What do you think you're 'going without' OP?

Stay off them? 🤷🏼‍♀️

I dont get why everyone is being so nasty to the OP. I lived like this for years as a single mum because I had a career and a mortgage I was getting less than unemployed single mum friends when I started out. They couldnt understand why I was busting my gut to work and buy a home when I could get it for free.
Well now I own my lovely home, have had a lucrative career and three pensions and the hard work has paid off. My friends have nothing, no homes no career, minimum wage jobs and a state pension.
Think about your future when the children leave home. It will all be worth it.

Get some original material?

I imagine the op alone, nothing to do so tries to inject some excitement in to her evening by starting this thread.

Have you sat down and written every expense down? I would go over the last 3 months statements and look at exact figures for everything.

Have you fallen into the trap of lifestyle creep? Are you housing costs bigger than average? A council house will be cheaper (on most occasions) than a mortgage or private rental. I would take this as a wake up call to evaluate what your priorities are and where you spend your money.

Do you have any savings?

Taking the kids to the farm for the day. The ice cream shop. Just going for a Costa on the way out. Maybe it’s the insta society we live in and I’m trying to be something that’s imagery.

❤️❤️❤️

Yes! We both work hard, have a mortgage, pay into our pensions, great marriage, lovely children, live within our means. I can’t imagine wanting to give that all up to rely on benefits, no security, no provision for the future, no stability. But, if you think you’d prefer the latter lifestyle, it’s within your means to try for it I suppose.

If you didn’t have your nails done you could probably do those things?

The reason why people who earn more seem to struggle more is because they don’t have to think so hard before they spend. And because they don’t have to, they tend not to, and before you know it they’re also spending beyond their means.

And in truth people who earn more do own more expensive houses, a more expensive car, eat out or have more takeaways, because they don’t have to think about where the money is coming from.

Whereas if you’re earning less you have to think about what you’re spending before you spend it, and before you know it it’s become a habit, and then you’re not actually hard up, because you don’t need a coffee twice a day, or a takeaway once a week, or all the other little things which all add up into a bigger picture. Even to the point that you can then save more and afford that holiday.

It becomes about priorities, and then lifestyle. @

No, it’s the insta society you live in. You might feel better if you stop following people you obviously hate, get off social media and enjoy what you have. It’s what most people do!

Where does this come from though that people on benefits are doing ok? The people I know on benefits are struggling to eat and using food banks and second hand clothes and credit / loans. Come on people. You must be in another world!

If you stop getting nails and hair done you could easily afford a trip to a farm or whatever and an ice cream.

So from a different perspective your selfish vanity is depriving you and your kids of that treat. Like almost everyone (including those raking it in on UC) you have a limited budget for fun stuff. Think more carefully about what you prioritise.

This. The life style creep - that’s amazing. We just live in such a society that everything you see on insta is real. Someone might have something and you think you’re falling

Unless you have a RIDICULOUS mortgage you should be able to afford a trip to a farm and a few coffees out on 5 grand. What are you spending it all on? Do you have enormous childcare costs or something?

No not completely wrong to think that way.

However I can tell you having experienced it, not working and having to rely on state benefits is not a dream either.
I spent majority of time in over draft meaning that when my payment went in I was back down every month. Especially not getting regular maintenance.

I don’t know how the person you are talking about does that to be honest.

it’s all relative though, if we could see your outgoings we could probably advise whether it’s you or not.
I take my children on holiday and for occasional days out, I also get my nails done. However, I buy second hand clothes, don’t have lots of takeaways, budget for my food shopping and batch cook and I don’t really have savings right now.
Your incomings sound rather generous (double my own) so I’m not sure what the problem is.

Exactly this. We can afford ice creams and day trips with the kids, but I’ve only had my nails done once in my life (for my wedding!), have my hair trimmed every 12 weeks, don’t have it coloured. It’s a case It’s a case of budgeting and priorities.

What do you mean?

A day at the farm is almost certainly less than a haircut, a set of nails is more than an occasional Costa and an ice cream.

You have other priorities, not a problem but surely you realise you can't have it all ways

Try not getting your nails done and take your kids out instead. HTH.

But you don't really believe in Instagram do you.

I’m not going to lie but I’m not sure what HTH means?