I’m going to upset people with this.. tell me your thoughts.

[Jingle23]

I just need to get this off my chest and see if others feel the same.
I work full-time and do everything I can to provide for my children. We don’t have much spare money, I bring home just over 2k and partner just over 3k a month. We have a mortgage but we often feel like were going without so they don’t miss out.
What’s been bothering me is seeing how different things can look for other families, even when they’re not working. I know someone personally who doesn’t work and isn’t relying on family for financial help, yet still seems able to manage a car on finance, holidays abroad - taking 3 children to Spain in the 6 weeks holidays, and everyday costs that I struggle with.
I’m not judging them at all, and I know every situation is different. I just feel really frustrated that I work full-time, pay my way, and still don’t feel like I’m any better off.
It’s made me question whether working hard always actually translates into a better standard of living anymore.
Does anyone else feel like this, or am I just having a wobble?

Comparison is the thief of joy!

Seriously. You cannot know their entire circumstance. I don't work, due to chronic illness and disability but DP does. We live in a council house.

We are buying a car this week. Not new but not an old banger either. We are not buying it on credit.

I'd swap my pain, constant worry about my health for your "money worries" any day.

BUT ...... I know how to be thankful for what I DO have. DP is still alive and able to work, in spite of having had a heart attack. I'm still here, with my chronic illness under control (for now at least) and I'm able to potter about my council house reasonably well considering.

At the end of the day, you will own your house at some point. You have something of worth to hand down to your children. All I've got to leave them is a bit of cheap jewellery and a positive mental attitude!

Why do people always assume people are sponging off the state too? Plenty of people have private means which are nobody else's business. To the OP - this person may have had a lottery win, a hefty inheritance, a legal payout, may be very thrifty and saved hard while working. There are lots of reasons why they may be better off than you.

no different than tax avoidance schemes etc

These comments are mad, people that work should be able to afford a hair cut every few weeks and nails thats what £30? Op you should still have about 1k left a month really so not sure on your outgoings. Do you have cars on finance or something? I do know people on benefits that seem to have everything too, they have partners who do cash in hand jobs. Some claim loads of benefits for each child with adhd. I don't envy people on benefits, I want to choose where to live, own my own home, not live in a shitty area with skanky people.

I was. My husband wasn't though.

This in a nutshell. Budgeting is crucial.

Do the spreadsheet so that you know for sure where all your money escapes to.

Might it be the case that whilst its not always happening, some of these could happen? I see benefit frauders in the papers now and again who've managed this (also, there's people out there getting caught coaching people on how to claim benefits).

Some of these things you've listed as lies might not always be true, but can be true in some cases, such as free prescriptions, housing etc.

Views tend to be so polarising on here, and there's people justifying why they claim UC and that this is benefit bashing. This isnt what this is about.

But, whilst a large majority are receiving what they need and are entitled to, it surely be argued that there are a number of cases where people are taking the mick and could/should be working.

That's the issue, and what im sensing the OP is referencing - if others are doing this and having an easier time of it, why is she incentivised to work?

The issue is that everyone claiming UC (which is actually several benefits in one) are lumped together and on threads like this, it always comes across that people assume it is the large majority who are taking advantage and threads like this fuel the assumption.

Well, there you go then. You didn't get that mortgage on the basis of an income around £350 pcm.

Who has an income of £350 a month?

Because what your talking about is benefit fraud which is a criminal offence if thats like saying where is the incentive to work when we can just rob a bank

If you can't manage on £5k net a month, uou either have made poor choumices and/or continue to make them.

Have you over extented yourself with a massive mortgage, have lots of persinal debt or are just flittering away money without any proper budgeting.

An ordinary four bedroomed house can cost anything from £200k to £1m, depending on where you live. With mortgages to match. And that's without considering the big mansions.

So saying that because you can save £500 a month, OP must be able to, is just silly.

OK, I was quoting approx (actually too generous) standard allowance for a young person. It's not going to secure a mortgage, on its own, for someone over 25 or a couple, either.
Universal Credit: What you'll get - GOV.UK https://share.google/w46t9nTVjppk1cqP0

They're both cheating though and in ways the squeezed middle don't tend to. The scale might be different but it's all the same to me as someone in that middle. Cheating at both ends of the spectrum is wrong.

If the OP decided she didnt want to work any more and packed her job in, and then claimed she was stressed, could she claim UC?

You are bringing your kids up.
correctly. Work for what you have.

Jesus wept, OP, I earn £2k a month and dh probably around the £3k ish mark, maybe a bit more (self employed so it’s not really a static figure).

We are definitely not struggling. We have a mortgage on an £800k house. We have expensive hobbies. I have a horse I keep on livery at £400 a month. We don’t have cars on finance and we don’t take big expensive holidays (more lots of little trips). But we are not struggling. I rarely have to think about money. We’re hoping to pay what’s left of our £400k mortgage off in another 6 years or so. We have no other personal debt, never had a credit card. Live very well, but within our means.

Huge debts are often written off or only a fraction is repaid via Debt Relief Orders etc. It's worth a gamble for some, clearly. Those who live for today without a thought for tomorrow....

Why do you feel people will be upset?

I get a top up from universal credit because my full time income is low. What I don't get is free housing (well sort of I'm an owner occupier, no mortgage), free prescriptions, free optical, free dental and I pay full council tax (less 25%). I couldn't imagine how I'd survive without my wage. I couldn't live on the basic universal credit amount

but thats the same with the whole financial system its all fiat currency

OP, is it worth looking at this from another angle?

My household income is less than this, we live what I'd say is quite a middle class lifestyle, and quite comfortably.

Is there anything you can do to assess & rebalance outgoings to give you a bit more financial flexibility?

Something people never mention on these threads is food intake. I come from a family that ate, at a guess 1500 calories a day on average per person (I didn't start counting calories until I was older but I can remember roughly what we ate every week and make a basic estimate). But I had friends and family growing up who easily ate twice or three times that amount as did everyone in their families. They were all thin people who didn't really gain weight, and so of course, like anyone in that situation would do, they ate as much as they wanted. Puddings every single day, huge plates of spaghetti bolognaise or cottage pie with second helpings every evening for dinner. Back then it would have still cost more obviously but with the price of food having gone up so much, I do wonder how people who eat a lot are managing to fund it! I eat less than that now (1200 kcal/day) and it's expensive! To eat 4000 and have your kids and husband eating the same sounds completely ruinous to me but some people either genuinely need that amount or they couldn't imagine eating less when they don't have to from a weight point of view. My family probably saved a fortune over the years!

Unless you end up needing a care home at which point most of what you've worked for will pay for that. Should the friends you mention find themselves in the same position, their care home will be paid for by the LA. That's a real disincentive not to accrue 'average' assets IMO.