Hello!
I’m genuinely posting this because I’m curious about people’s perspectives rather than wanting to argue. Obviously everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but if there’s an unnecessary pile-on I probably won’t respond. This is also just my personal experience as someone who didn’t grow up in the UK, rather than me claiming any particular expertise on British culture.
Anyway, I’ve always found the level of hatred towards Harry and Meghan really fascinating. I completely understand not liking them. I understand people thinking they’re hypocritical, disliking the Oprah interview, the Netflix series, Harry’s book etc. If someone thinks “I just don’t like them”, fair enough. What I find interesting is the sheer intensity of it and how many people seem to genuinely care about what they’re doing years later.
For context, I grew up in the US, SF to be specific, so very liberal maybe that's why. I have friends from school still in the states who have seen H and M lots with their children just doing everyday activities and no one cares, there's people I know who have met them and have spoken to them many times so to see the tabloids is quite interesting to see the juxtaposition. My dad is British and my mum is American and mixed race. I went to private school in the States and grew up extremely privileged, although obviously the American class system is quite different to the British one. I came to England for university and ended up staying, partly because I have family here.
Even with that background, I find the British class system fascinating. There seem to be all these very subtle distinctions around accent, school, family, manners, where you live, how you dress, whether you're "posh", "common", "trying too hard" etc. A lot of it seems completely unspoken, yet people who have grown up here immediately understand what is meant.
That makes me wonder about Meghan. She wasn’t just an outsider marrying into the Royal Family. She was American, biracial, divorced, an actress and didn’t come from the British aristocratic/upper-class world albeit privately educated, she is not 'common' at all, I think Catherine Middleton was 'common' in comparison at least according to the tabloids. I genuinely wonder how much of what people interpreted as her being rude, fake, attention-seeking or not understanding British culture was actually her not knowing some of these very British social rules.
And I do think there is sometimes an anti-American element that gets brushed over. Obviously not every British person dislikes Americans, but there is definitely a stereotype of Americans being loud, gauche, overly familiar, obsessed with money/status etc. I’ve experienced enough of it myself to know it exists. I sometimes wonder whether Meghan being American made her an easier target because she didn’t instinctively understand the British way of doing things.
Then there’s the race issue. I’m mixed race myself, but interestingly you wouldn’t necessarily know that just by looking at me. I had blonde hair growing up and have green eyes, and people are always surprised when they meet my parents and then see my siblings and me. So I’m very aware that you can’t necessarily look at someone and know their background.
That’s why some of the discussion around Meghan and her children has always struck me as odd. Her children are very light-skinned and could easily be perceived as white by someone who doesn’t know their family background, but obviously that doesn’t change their ancestry. And whatever anyone thinks about Harry and Meghan, I find the way some people talk about their children completely beyond the pale. They are children. I don't think criticism of their parents should extend to dehumanising or racialised comments about them.
I’m not saying that every criticism of Meghan is racist. I actually think that argument can become too simplistic. People can dislike her for plenty of reasons that have nothing to do with race. But I also find it strange when people insist race could not possibly have played any role at all, particularly given some of the very explicit racialised commentary that existed around her.
The other thing I find fascinating is Harry himself. I wonder whether some of the anger towards Meghan is actually partly about what Harry represents. He was essentially presented for years as the cheeky, handsome younger prince and there was this whole fairy-tale idea that an ordinary British woman could marry him. William marrying Kate probably reinforced that to some extent.
Then Harry marries an American woman, leaves the UK and moves to California. And there seems to be a genuine feeling amongst some people that he has personally betrayed the British public. But I struggle to understand that level of emotional investment. He is a person who made decisions about his own marriage and his own life. Why does someone you have never met moving to another country make you so angry?
And this is probably the bit I find most fascinating as an outsider. People will say they don't care about Harry and Meghan, that they're irrelevant, that nobody is interested in them anymore and then seemingly know every single thing they’ve done for the last six years.
So I’m genuinely curious what I’m missing. Is it simply that people think they’re hypocrites and have behaved badly? Is it the way they’ve spoken about the Royal Family? Is it class? Is it anti-American sentiment? Is race a factor? Is it resentment that Harry left? Is it just that they’re particularly irritating to people?
Because I can understand “I dislike Harry and Meghan”. What I find much harder to understand is “I absolutely cannot stand Harry and Meghan” followed by a detailed analysis of everything they’ve done since 2020.
Maybe this is just a cultural difference and I’m completely missing something obvious because I didn’t grow up here.
I do however think that especially wit the fall of the empire, the RF could have used Meghan as an asset but I cannot 100% comment on how that would have worked out I do not know her personally. I only have anecdote from friends in the states who have met them and who lived near them, they were always out and about in the states, a few friends have seen their children many times, those children do not look black at all, so whoever was worried about their race and phenotype can sleep peacefully. Guessing most of the family has met them by now. My own children do not look mixed race at all yet ancestry wise and half their family is African American, traceable to a specific plantation before my mother's family moved to SF. I am mixed race(white father and black mother) but grew up with everyone assuming I am white so many that is where my perspective comes from.
I find the whole thing fascinating? Especially after the whatsapp situation. And for those of you who grew up in the UK, particularly if you have absolutely no connection to the aristocracy or Royal Family, what is it about them that generates such a strong reaction?