Muskepervs Anonymous. Wenches apply within. Part VI

[MalcolmTuckersMistress]

Come and join us bent over the chicken coop! We are here once again for our continued and most enojoyabke celebration of very VERY sexy men with beards dressed in leather.

We believe in sharing so there really is enough for everyone. We do, however, have a policy of only one at a time.

Not really...THE MORE THE MERRIER!

So get your swords off get your swords off honey. Shake it now now, get 'em off down town!

Part one

part two

part three

part four

part five

Hi, stanley

Anyhoo I'm back, and rewatching.

Richelieu ; "Your fascination with these musketeers seem inexhaustible"
Too fucking right mate.

Stanley, I will accept that attempt of retracting your previous statement but not only is no one allowed to fancy him as much as I do, but equally no one is allowed to not fancy him as much as I do.

But then again, perhaps if they were to offer Manilow the part of Richelieu in the next series then there wouldn't be an issue with Capaldi gleefully dropping the part and skipping off to play in his TARDIS?

I like Athos in this one, I still don't fancy him mind, same as I like Richelieu, he is funny and scary. I get why you lot like them though.

The shit is going to hit the fan wrt Athos, Dogtagnan and milady, which is sad as they (Athos and Dog) are really bonding.

Ooh am at the ' Porthos can I ask you something? ' bit.

I have to say though, there is something of the praying mantis about Richelieu.

It was just as good second time around, although when Constance kissed Dog on the street I was ' nooooonononono don't do it!'

But I can see you've all fucked off being busy and important.

It's ok twit, I'm still here not washing the car.

Constance and Dog were stupid snogging like that in the street! I have to say though, if this was real life and I turned up somewhere where the cardinal was and he was pissed off and you caught a glance, I would be TERRIFIED. Aroused, but mainly pretty bloody terrified.

Yeah, I'm here, not sorting out my daughter's bedroom, cutting the grass or working. Absolutely not buying stuff on ASOS either

Why can't I just get on with what I'm supposed to be doing

Because it takes time for you to think about it on order to do a really really good job of it!

Also sometimes I think if the horrible jobs really need doing...like really really need doing, then they do it theirselves.

They don't? Oh.

I've been hoping they'll do themselves, hence the bombed bedroom and knee high grass.

And all this procrastination has led to another dilemma. Will I look a dick in dungarees? Of course I know I will, but I won't actually 'get' it until I order a pair, try them on, then have to fanny about sending them back

*Stanly^ I'm watching you. Your Dad looks like Barry Manilow

I'm too old and too fat for dungarees but I have some anyway!

Imagine you were a little dog.

Imagine you were a fat little dog.

Imagine you were a fat little dog who went outside ROLLED IN FOX SHIT and then had a snooze in the clean washing.

OK, I am deffo making for the door now. You wenches are too rough for me ! I am going to call for Constance, see if she will come out to play. She might even lend me one of her tight bodiced dresses, even my old saggy boobs will look magnificent in those. I will have to drop D'art from my hyperthetical shag list though. Not good form to want to shag your new best friend's secret lover!

Well, I dunno. She's married already and she has dumped him so I say you snooze you and you lose. There's a chance he might be looking for a sympathy shag too? Although he might cry afterwards.

Blimey him and Athos would be a barrel of laughs down the pub at the moment.

Yeah, she dumped him Stanley, you get a clear run

Washing, bathroom, kitchen side, hoovering done.
Have just left a message for my mum and stepdad saying hello etc.
It may have sounded a little P.A. but it wasn't meant to be. They probs won't phone back anyway, at least not until this evening when they know it will be difficult. Then they can moan I never phone them enough and that when I finally do, it's always at a bad time so I can't talk.

Ahh, she's dumped him for now. I bet it is not really over............

See what you mean about barrel of laughs down the pub. There are actually making the holy-relic fingerer seem a possibility.

Oh of course it's not over, but you need to take advantage of him because he would look perfect naked and on top of you!

Twit you are highly efficient. Now when will you be round to clean my car carriage?

Hahaha oh those fingers! They do special things. But don't piss him off...

He always looks perfect, he is a pretty boy. It is just he has been given such terrible lines, I could not stand to have to listen to him wittering away and possibly crying.

Cardinal looks v. scary in that photo. I would not want to encounter him on the other side of the confessional box. Goodness knows what the penance would be.

It's nothing to do with being efficient, just have low standards.

They are muck-spreading outside today. lovely so no hanging the washing out.

Welcomes Stanley.
Pushes her to the back of the Athos queue.

Right, taking a break and have decided to consider my shaggin more carefully.

1. Aramis will always come first. I reckon that he will easily be able to gauge my mood and instigate suitable foreplay and sex accordingly. He will give me a massage when I have been hunched over books all day, get in the bath with me BUT he will also be able to drag me down an alley on the way home from the tavern for a snog fest and grope where we just make it back to his place. He is the most loaded up with weapons too.

1. d'Artagnan. He has moved up. Mostly because I reckon he is the only one who you could have good long, hours and hours of snogging without it having to lead elsewhere.

1. Porthos. Now, Aramis can do rough, angry sex, but for throw you against the wall, drag you to the bedroom sex I will have Porthos.

I'll leave all the rest.

Oh yes... do you think this is where they are staying