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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Very very tall daughter

346 replies

BadAtTecnology35 · 30/05/2025 01:28

My DD12 (13 next month) is now over 6'5 and almost 6'6. How do I help her with this?
I am 6'2 and DH is 6'4 but she's just that bit taller. DS who's 11 is only 5'4 for comparison.

Everyone always mentions it everywhere she goes and that's before they realise her age cause she looks older. Teachers, friends, everyone.

She's quite slim build and has size 14 feet (i know). She used to not mind her height but now she's getting to be the tallest boy or girl in her whole school, I'm hearing more comments about how she hates it.

Will she grow much more? How can I help her build confidence up?

Want to clarify, we've been doctors and no hormone issue/ disease

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway · 30/05/2025 22:53

bookworm14 · 30/05/2025 22:47

All of the inspirational very tall women being posted on this thread are shorter than the OP’s daughter, who is 12 and hasn’t stopped growing. I’m actually starting to doubt the veracity of this thread to be honest, as I think a 6ft 6 12 year old would have been featured in the media (or the Guinness Book of Records) by now.

Yeah I have googled 'tallest 12 year old girl ever' (sorry just noticed the OP's DD isn't 13 til next month,) and every article comes up as a British girl who got to 6 ft 2 by the time she was 12. 🤔

I think I'm done on this thread now.

MrsMitford3 · 30/05/2025 22:55

Honestly get her into a sport where it is celebrated.

She will be a super star in the rowing world-it's full of tall people who have a huge advantage.

And she will be admired versus judged...

bookworm14 · 30/05/2025 22:58

LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway · 30/05/2025 22:53

Yeah I have googled 'tallest 12 year old girl ever' (sorry just noticed the OP's DD isn't 13 til next month,) and every article comes up as a British girl who got to 6 ft 2 by the time she was 12. 🤔

I think I'm done on this thread now.

So she’s four inches taller than the tallest 12 year old who ever lived. 🧐

miniaturepixieonacid · 30/05/2025 23:02

bibliotek · 30/05/2025 18:44

I want to say something else:
the OP said she got her daughters health checked and hormonal conditions have been ruled out.

For anyone here calling her a ‘poor girl’ and she needs to get tested and suggesting the girl gets height blockers, those are really horrid comments Do you go around saying that to people below 5’ 3?

Poor why? Because she doesn’t look like you? People are allowed to be tall. There’s nothing poor about it, there’s nothing medical wrong about it and it doesn’t require a medical intervention if she’s not ill. She’s her own self and is allowed to be tall without that kind of prejudice. Your comments are exactly the reason why this mum is posting.

But this is nothing like being under 5' 3". That's perfectly normal. Almost all women fall somewhere between 4' 11" and 6' 1". A very large 'normal' range. To be 5 inches taller than the tall end of the 'norm' is highly unusual (I think a pp guesstimated arond 13 women in the whole country but don't know if that's true). If a girl was at the other extreme and only 4' 6" (so 5 inches smaller than the small end of the 'norm') then of course she would be on growth hormone. I know a child who was in that exact position - parents 4' 11" and 5' 7" so was always going to small but she was years behind in growth. She went on growth hormone at 10 years old (looking around 6 years old) and she's now 15 and 5ft - so it worked.

I didn't even know it was possible for women to have Size 14 feet. My (male) cousin is a 14 and he can't even buy men's shoes in all standard shops - a lot stop at 13 for men and 8 for women with 14 and 9 considered unsual and bigger than that the extreme. So she's 4 sizes bigger than the extreme and 6 sizes bigger than the largest 'standard' size. I don't think it's unkind to express shock and concern about that to the child's mother on an internet forum. To the child herself to her face - of course it's rude!

Salumthecat · 30/05/2025 23:05

LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway · 30/05/2025 22:17

Good grief, I give up! Confused

People of an average height just don’t understand how important those “extra few inches” actually are.

I’m at the other end of the scale at 4’9 with kids size 12 feet. I was at the obese end of the scale in the overweight BMI category at 9 stone 5 but if I’d been 5 foot I’d be classed as a healthy weight.
In order to stay a healthy weight I can only eat 1200 calories and 1000 to lose weight. If I was 5 foot I’d be able to eat an extra few hundred more.

At 5 foot I’d get some adult clothes to fit me, now I have to have everything altered as clothes meant for an 8 year old obviously don’t fit a woman’s body.

At 4’9 I was restricted to driving instructors who had smaller cars, struggled with reaching the pedals and visibility driving, I only learnt to drive properly when I bought my own smaller car. My friend at 5’ can drive any car.

I also struggle to reach the top shelves in my fridge, my top cupboards without a stool, I can never see anything going to gigs or anything with a crowd, my feet never touch the floor on chairs (or even the toilet!) and I get constant attention.
I can imagine it’s equally annoying to be tall but I bet you get treated with respect and not picked up, leaned on, patted on the head and kids constantly standing next you you saying “I’m taller then you”. I’ve had a few words with parents who think their child is being cute and don’t realise that when their kid does it every time they see me that it’s just annoying.

Those few inches if you are tall or small make a big difference.

As for the shoe size it’s impossible to imagine how frustrating it is. I can wear kids shoes in the same way OPs daughter can probably wear men’s but they aren’t at all supportive as they are made for junior children. I have constant feet problems due to the size of them and it’s so disappointing not being able to wear heels or find shoes to match your outfit. people constantly tell me it must be great to be able to buy cheap shoes but don’t understand they usually have Velcro and cartoons on. It’s my dream to walk into a shop and just buy any shoes, I constantly get assistants bringing me a 3 because “they are for tiny feet” they then look amazed when my foot falls out despite it being 4 sizes too big. I wonder if they would be as surprised if they brought me a size 8 instead of a 4?!

I know people don’t mean to be patronising but it is annoying seeing people compare being a fairly average height to being a height that impacts on your life a great deal. It’s nice to see people trying to be positive but I think people advising OP to get further medical advice are right. My parents declined growth hormones but I often wish they hadn’t.

My nephew is very tall and has Marfan syndrome, he wasn’t diagnosed until he was 16 but was 6 foot 2 at 12 years old. His dad is tall but the rest of the family are all shorties.
Pushing sports was entirely the wrong thing for my nephew but he wasn’t interested anyway. He was also the worst for picking me up and measuring himself against me!

bookworm14 · 30/05/2025 23:08

It’s also worth mentioning that the 6ft 2 12 year old mentioned above, who was the tallest preteen girl ever recorded and was seen as so unusual that she was featured in the press multiple times, does in fact have Marfan Syndrome.

LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway · 30/05/2025 23:09

bookworm14 · 30/05/2025 22:58

So she’s four inches taller than the tallest 12 year old who ever lived. 🧐

Yep! I think people underestimate how tall 6 ft 6 is, and even how tall 6 ft 2 is.

THIS is the girl who is the tallest 12 year old girl ever. (As I said, 6 ft 2 at just 12 years old.) And without meaning to be unkind I don't think she would be a fashion model. (Even if model agencies DID accept women who were 6 ft 6, which they don't!) But she can always play basketball hey? 🙄

https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/6415589/brit-girl-tallest-in-the-world-6ft/

.

LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway · 30/05/2025 23:11

bookworm14 · 30/05/2025 23:08

It’s also worth mentioning that the 6ft 2 12 year old mentioned above, who was the tallest preteen girl ever recorded and was seen as so unusual that she was featured in the press multiple times, does in fact have Marfan Syndrome.

Yes, I just noticed that! As I (and many others have said,) the OP really does need to push for some more medical intervention, because being 6 ft 6 as a 12 year old (nearly 13 year old) girl is not anywhere near remotely normal. It is not just 'tall.' The 'get her into sports' of 'get her into modelling' posts need to stop! Get her to a specialist!!!

And now I really am done, because I'm off to bed!

.

Gettingbysomehow · 30/05/2025 23:12

Personally I'd get her into karate or kick boxing. I did kick boxing to black belt level. Im short though. When you are that tall you need that strength to support your .muscles and bones.
The last thing she needs is to slouch and get bad posture.
My mother was 6.2 but is now 5.11 due to constant slouching and not doing any exercise. She now has widespread osteoporosis. My uncles and grandfather were all well over 6.5 but did a lot of sports so were always strong and straight.
I think I'm the postman's child.

Firefly1987 · 30/05/2025 23:18

bookworm14 · 30/05/2025 22:47

All of the inspirational very tall women being posted on this thread are shorter than the OP’s daughter, who is 12 and hasn’t stopped growing. I’m actually starting to doubt the veracity of this thread to be honest, as I think a 6ft 6 12 year old would have been featured in the media (or the Guinness Book of Records) by now.

Yes and I can't imagine she was 6 foot at 10 years old so does make you wonder how fast she's grown in the last couple years to get up to 6' 5. Maybe a bit of exaggeration on OPs part?

Bubbinsmakesthree · 30/05/2025 23:19

I’m not sure some people are really appreciating quite how exceptionally tall 6ft 6 is for a woman. “What about modelling” - sorry being 6ft 6 with size 14 feet is not an advantage for modelling!

For some sports though being that exceptionally tall would be a serious advantage to the extent of it overriding a lack of natural ability - as others have said much skill can be taught. If she has any interest in sport it is seriously worth looking into.

One thing I’ve not seen mentioned - though as a v tall woman I have had my share of comments about my height I very rarely feel unsafe as a woman Being physically taller than most men is a definite advantage - it’s something I’ve only understood as I’ve got older how much fear and intimidation many women experience and I genuinely think being very tall has protected me from a lot of that.

vdbfamily · 30/05/2025 23:36

LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway · 30/05/2025 22:16

Exactly. 'Hey just be a model, being tall is so glamourous and elegant!' and 'just be a basketball player!' I mean for goodness sake! Hmm As you say, there is clearly a health issue here. Being nearly 6 ft 6 at the age of 13, and still continuing to grow is very worrying. All the casual 'hey she can be a model' posts are cringeworthy! Especially (as I said earlier,) NO model agency is going to employ any woman who is 6 ft 6 - or taller. Literally no-one will be employing the OP's daughter as a model.

As part of a very tall family I actually find all the comments insisting she MUST have a medical condition quite upsetting. As a 6'1" woman with a 6'7" husband, all my babies were at the very top or actually off the scale in the red book mapping of centiles. The trajectories remained the same. It literally never crossed my mind to take my oldest daughter to the doctor aged 12 at 6'3 with size 10/11 feet. It seemed very probable that my kids would be tall and my DS is 6'7 and may be still growing and youngest DD only got to 6'.

peachesarenom · 30/05/2025 23:39

BadAtTecnology35 · 30/05/2025 08:36

We just have to get her men's shoes

I'm quite tall, not that tall but pretty tall!

At that age I was a 'girly girl's and hated having a anything that looked a bit 'boy'.

I was thinking and feel free to think I'm loony but what about drag queens shoes? They're made for taller people but still feminine? Worth a look I think, I'm sure there are some sensible options!

Cerealmilks · 30/05/2025 23:46

But there’s tall and there’s TALL. This girl is a foot taller than your daughter. Even if she does slow down she’s still an extreme outlier.
sorry- I’m not saying this to be negative about OP or her daughter but to emphasise how unusual this height is.

How hard did you push the drs on a medical explanation OP?

edited to say sorry I meant to quote fhe post about a poster’s daughter being tall at 5’6”

viques · 30/05/2025 23:56

Is it worth getting an assessment of whether or not she has stopped, or is close to stopping growth. I think they can look at the way joints and growth plates are.

Justsomethoughts23 · 30/05/2025 23:57

OpalShimmer · 30/05/2025 22:16

Former international swimmer here - have you tried her in the pool? There is an optimum body composition for our sport and your daughter pretty much nails that. Google Missy Franklin if you’ve not heard of her. Think she’s 6’2” and size 13 feet with 5 Olympic golds! Tall is not always a bad thing.

Something about the way this is worded is really horrible to me: “have you tried her”… She is a human being with her own preferences, she does not exist for her parents to try and push her into whatever sport her parents deem her physically suited to, she doesn’t have to do any sport at all.

vdbfamily · 30/05/2025 23:57

On the topic of shoes, I got school to agree my DD could wear black leather trainers. She pretty much lived in jeans, joggers, jumpers and trainers,mostly black , for years. She now wears very bright colours. For footwear she loves Crocs who actually go up to a UK 16 in mens but you can cover them in girly jibbets.
For those of you who find it hard to imagine such tall kids, I attach a photo of mine a few years ago visiting an elderly ex neighbour who is admittedly fairly short, but DS was as tall as doorframe. I think DD may have actually had heels on which is why she looks as tall as DS

Very very tall daughter
Itsnotallaboutyoulikeyouthink · 30/05/2025 23:58

My husband was 6ft 6 and everyone always used to comment on his height. He came back from the shop once annoyed that a woman had pointed out his height and commented he didn’t understand how people are allowed to comment on it but if he’d commented on her weight he would have been thrown out the shop. He had a very good point and I think this is a very good way of explaining to people why they should stop commenting about it.

Y2ker · 31/05/2025 00:13

CanIGoHomeNowPlease · 30/05/2025 11:36

I know in the run up to London 2012 they did an initiative called sporting giants. I wonder if there is still something like this going on?

Volley ball, netball, high jump, basket ball, rowing - so many things she could get into. It would also give her some confidence..

A (tall) friend of mine was recruited for the rowing team!

ChessorBuckaroo · 31/05/2025 00:14

bookworm14 · 30/05/2025 22:58

So she’s four inches taller than the tallest 12 year old who ever lived. 🧐

😂 We've been had then.

surreygirl1987 · 31/05/2025 00:15

bibliotek · 30/05/2025 19:50

I don’t deny your empathy, but hazard you don’t mix it up yourself. Just because you’re tall too doesn’t meant you can’t be prejudiced yourself. Suggesting this kid gets meds to alter her natural being to be more acceptable to others is prejudiced.

Erm... where did I mention meds? At all? Can you quote me on that please?! 😅

JFDIYOLO · 31/05/2025 00:19

I saw an interview with Richard Osman where he confided how upsetting it had always been to have attention constantly drawn to his height. She'll need support.

I met a young man of 6'8" who said he'd basically given up doing out at night because drunks saw him as challenge and targeted him.

It would be wise to warn her about being alert.

And she might like t read up on the actress Gwendoline Christie, too as an example of a tall woman successful in her field.

gegs73 · 31/05/2025 00:34

I’m sure you already do, but I’d suggest doing everything you can to boost her confidence and let her know how amazing she is. There are lots of tall women and families on instagram which promote positive messages. For example ‘thattallfamily’ but there are others. There is also the ‘tall’ forum on Reddit which may well be too old for her but helpful for you. DS1 is 6’9 and DH 6’8 so we know tall 😁 Definitely hard for girls though especially when they’re so young and building their identity.

2021x · 31/05/2025 01:33

Nice one OP.

It was the no medical issue that was the tell-tale sign here.

OpalShimmer · 31/05/2025 03:41

Justsomethoughts23 · 30/05/2025 23:57

Something about the way this is worded is really horrible to me: “have you tried her”… She is a human being with her own preferences, she does not exist for her parents to try and push her into whatever sport her parents deem her physically suited to, she doesn’t have to do any sport at all.

Incorrect. Hence why swimming is part of the National Curriculum.