Very very tall daughter

[BadAtTecnology35]

My DD12 (13 next month) is now over 6'5 and almost 6'6. How do I help her with this?
I am 6'2 and DH is 6'4 but she's just that bit taller. DS who's 11 is only 5'4 for comparison.

Everyone always mentions it everywhere she goes and that's before they realise her age cause she looks older. Teachers, friends, everyone.

She's quite slim build and has size 14 feet (i know). She used to not mind her height but now she's getting to be the tallest boy or girl in her whole school, I'm hearing more comments about how she hates it.

Will she grow much more? How can I help her build confidence up?

Want to clarify, we've been doctors and no hormone issue/ disease

Oh give over, you clearly weren’t referring to basic survival skills as a “former international swimmer” 🙄

I’m super tall too. Always was at school and used to get the same, instead of people saying ‘oh you look nice’ or ‘I like that dress’ like they would to other people, to me they’d say ‘aren’t you tall!’ - I hated it. That being said, it never ever posed a problem with me getting dates & boyfriends & I began to realise that whereas it was something that shocked people enough to mention, that it didn’t hold me back in anyway - apart from wearing heels! I’d love to wear sky high heels like the petit girls but hey ho, they probably wish they were taller! Tell her to hold her head up, smile & own it - confidence is the most attractive thing a girl can wear :) x

I don’t think it’s much difference to a parent noticing their child has an ear for music and encouraging them to take up the violin.

Sport is one area where her height would be a huge natural advantage, and at her age she’s still plenty young enough to be figuring out what she does or doesn’t enjoy.

It’s not just about the sport, it’s an opportunity for her to fit in around other taller people and to be celebrated for her height. I certainly think it’s worth looking into.

I think that’s the key, finding your tribe. Rather than having to excel at the sport.

Oh

I quote you,

“She doesn’t have to do any sport at all.”

Yet, it’s mandatory on the Curriculum.

Have you found clothes with an inside leg of 36”. I can only find lts. Most other “tall” section models are 5ft8/9. Thanks

Ah yes, you're right.

Lots of these around atm, thankfully half-term is nearly over.

That’s what my original comment was about, which you replied to.

My daughter found BoohooMan doing some very feminine looking baggy jeans which look great on her. ASOS tall range are quite tall. There are a few FB groups for tall women ( TALLternative retail is one of them) where they share any tall clothes they have found as sometimes it is quite random. This week someone had found very long ladies summer trousers in The Pound shop!! Sainsbury's Tu range sometimes crops up too.

I think people need to stop replying to this thread in good faith.

I never knew that! It was definitely true for me, though.

In my last year at primary, I was the tallest girl and only one of the boys was taller than me. I was taller than a fair few of the teachers, too, but only 5'5". I was the second tallest in my year when I started secondary, but only grew another inch then stopped. I was bitterly disappointed, I was hoping I'd be 5'10 or something, which would have been very tall for my generation (b 1955).

I can understand your daughter being self-conscious and hating her height, OP, and the frustration of not being able to get the sort of clothes and shoes she'd like in her size. At her age, it's hard to see beyond being an exception. And I doubt if pointing out advantages like being guaranteed a good view at gigs when a lot of us can't see anything beyond the backs of the people in front would be much consolation.

There's plenty of body positivism about people being heavier these days, maybe it's time there was a similar change for the unusually tall. I'm sure she's gorgeous, and being tall is always striking imo, but I guess all that matters to her now is not standing out.

His current experience at an English university.

@clary I would have thought 6'3 was tall too. I'm a very average 5'4 and DH is 6'2. But that is DS's perception at an English university. He is sporty and possibly that skews his experience. It was something he commented on a few months back.

I was your daughter! Desperately wanted to wear trousers for school but couldn't get girls long enough, had to wear ugly shoes cos they were the only ones in my size. I did the stooping thing to try not to stand out.
I agree with a pp about having some stock answers ready for when people say things (not usually meanly but I remember a woman stopped me and my very petite friend in the street and said we looked like a mum and daughter cos of our heights).
Lots of comments like what's it like up there, did your mum put you in a stretcher. My response depends on my mood and how it was delivered.
There are positives- I've never not been able to see at the cinema or anywhere else and I was a fab shooter at netball.
Clothes wise things are much easier now too.
It is hard standing out at that age. I would try to go down the sports route and hopefully that will build confidence and see her body in a positive way.

I was your daughter!

You were 6ft 6 at 12, thereby making you the tallest preteen girl to ever have existed, by some margin?

Oh bless you. Yes you did mention meds in that post yes. But that clearly wasn't the bit I was replying to! 🙈 If you re-read the posts you'll figure it out.

It’s perhaps you who needs to be clear in your thoughts before responding. I won’t be sampling your condescending bait either, poster. You’ll have to pop elsewhere for that. Bye for now.

We’ve just found a couple of pairs. Tracksuit bottoms from Primark laddies and linen trousers from Morrisons I’ll have a look at those groups thanks

I’m not so tall now ( back shrinking) but I was tall at school and long thin feet that my dm would not believe they were that large. Hence bunions. I have tall husband and tall daughters and grandchildren. I learnt from my mil who had a dreadful complex about being tall and passed it on to her children,but not DH. One child married deliberately someone smaller and the other had operations. My mil was a danger and she when she started on my children was told that if she passed on any feelings about height she would never see them again. Growing up I and my two friends all similar height were constantly told we should be super models( I’m talking 60s 😄) our children are all glam and successful and ditto grandchildren. That is no way a boast just please do not condone anything about height except positive thinking. My mil left a horrid mental legacy particularly to one of her children. It also helped that I sew and sewed for those friends so trousers etc were right length. Netball was not played at my school only hockey so I lost out there. We also went into school prayers in order of height so at least they don’t do assembly much these days.

😅 Thanks for the giggle.

I think you're right 🙈

Oh, love her. As a family we have height differing to the mainstream from the other side. We knew our child would be incredibly short like us, as I am 4ft9 and my Husband 5ft. From the outset, we have instilled the needed social values of human diversity and how boring (and difficult for all) it would be if everyone were the same, not to mention the dearth of skillsets and glut of others... Also, excuse the pun, never punch down; always embrace what we have collectively (if someone is quite different, therefore, it is never a negative unless they are actively attempting to harm another). He is 15, the same height as me, has positive friendships, and is always the cheeky one in the group (like his Dad!)

Bless her , I was 5’10 when I was 14 , this was in the 70’s 80’s . I have never grown any taller thank goodness , but the names and the remarks were very hurtful, also buying clothes that were long enough (trousers) were huge around the waist , I (used to ) have a tiny waist. These days it is so much easier to buy clothes etc, but it’s hard and people can be so hurtful.

Every child wants what they don’t have, and hates what they have. The short ones want to be taller, the tall ones want to be shorter; those with curly hair want straight hair and vice versa. She needs explaining it’s perfectly normal, but she’s stuck with it and there’s no point worrying about something you can’t control, any more than the colour of her eyes.